Jordan, Jesse, GO! - He Did Dally, with Mimi Pond

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

On today’s episode, we welcome cartoonist and comic artist Mimi Pond to the show to chat with us about the Mitford Sisters, her Costco habits, going blonde the day after September 11th, and much more.* Follow Mimi on Instagram (and not in Costco!)*Pick up Mimi's latest book, Do Admit: The Mitford Sisters and Me. *Pre-order Jordan’s new Web of Venom comic.*Catch Jesse and Judge John Hodgman LIVE for Night Court at the Bell House in NYC on March 6th and 7th!*Check out a Predator Double Feature with Jordan Morris at the Friday Cinema on February 26th!*Join Jordan Morris and the Doughboys Live at The Aladdin Theater on February 28 or on March first at the Neptune Theatre. * Celebrate 25 years of Bullseye!* Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood!* Order Jordan’s new Venom comic!* Donate to Al Otro Lado.* Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art! ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Get  Bronto Dino-Merch!Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow new producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram.Thank you to Engineer Gabe Mara!Visit cargurus.ca.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and suck and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Happy holidays to you, my friend. As we enter the new year, it's our first time recording in a few weeks.

I had a very eventful Christmas. I'd love to hear everything about it. I would say the number one event was my 12-year-old woke up around midnight, 1145 maybe, I'm putting the presence under the tree. Oh, boy. Just the ones from my wife and I. Santa Claus, of course, puts his presence under there, if there's any children listening. There's children listening.

It's bad news. Yeah, your parents have failed. Emancipate yourself from your parents. Now, run from the house. Yeah, is this a Culkin situation? Run from the house. You're going to end up upsetting Jesse Eisenberg. Okay.

It's like 1145. My daughter, Scarlet. who normally Scarlett is up through the entire night because she has anxiety about the presence and the excitement and everything gets overwhelmed. This time she did make it till like quarter of 12. And then she came into the foyer right next to our living room where I was putting the presents under the Christmas tree.

And I caught it, I saw her there. And she was sort of staring at a wall. And I said, hi, Scarlett. And she said, oh. And I went over there and I said, said, what are you doing? And she said, I woke up and I don't know what's happening. Kind of a Christmas fugue. We woke up in a Christmas feud. But I also gave in exchange a few nice gifts. I received from my daughter Grace, my 14 year old. She brought thoughtful

presents for everyone in the family. For me, she purchased an Emmy screener of Alex Inc. Sure, let's lay a little pipe. Alex Inc. For people who have not been listening to our bonus episodes. Podcast, movie, movie, podcast, and sometimes we talk about shows. Alex Inc. is kind of the cornerstone of that series. It is Zach Braff's failed podcast sitcom. I mean, commercially failed, but also artistically failed.

Also artistically failed. Yes. They're truly excruble. Filled on all counts. Yeah. I mean, it looks fine. It does look nice. Yeah.

Yeah, good DP on that. Great color correction. Yeah. I'm watching this piece of crap and I'm like, you know, someone really color correct. A lot of high quality crafts people working on this program. That's true. Anyway, she used, I'm going to say 20 to 25. Like, this was not $3 at the thrift store.

Right. She like went on eBay. And she, to be clear, knows that I hate the show. Like, she didn't buy it for me because she got confused and thought we were doing the podcast about the show. I liked the show, and it was thoughtful in that way. She just wanted to remind you of the parts of your job that are a burden. Yeah, $25 is almost a 14-year-old's entire life savings.

Yeah, I know. Anyway, I... Think of the candy you could buy. I like to go to buy stocking stuffers at Daiso, the Japanese dollar store. It's a fun place to do that. God, I could buy every animal-shaped eraser in that store. Sure, yeah. Oh, I love it.

I love it, I love it. I bought a teacup at the Dysol one time that said, sip, sip, yummy. Yeah, that's the stuff. And I say that to myself every time I'm having a hot beverage. That's great. Sip yummy. Good for you.

Thank you. Happy Bear Man, we are nice. We like Stora Berry. A lot of good stuff. It's a pad that I have. That's fun. Anyway, I cannot resist if I get to the toy aisle. Do you know those kind of things that you take out of a blister package?

It's shaped like a little dinosaur. If you imagine like a little dinosaur, a little rubber dinosaur eraser, but then you put it in water and it grows to twice its size. Yes. Oh, yeah. I had a lot of fun with those as a kid. I am obsessed with those. They're still making them?

I'm an adult man. I'm obsessed with them still. But they used to grow to like four times their size. Oh, boy. I got a product for my children called Chunky Dino. Oh, okay. Okay, keep going. I thought this was going a different direction.

Tell me about Chonkey Dino. Chunky dino is more like an executive stress toy sized. You know, maybe it's the size of a racket ball or something like that. And it's sort of rubbery, not in the way that an eraser is, but in the way that something that you would squeeze for fun is. This thing is basically the size of a watermelon at this point. I have no idea how they make. This is why... And it starts as a pill?

It starts as a little pill? A lot of people think that we shouldn't be building more of these data farms. if we get more technology like chunky dynos at all these computers, I'm on board. You think AI had something to do with chunky dino? They didn't have AI when we were children, and they didn't have chunky dynos. Now they have chunky dynos, and they have AI. You do the math, Jordan. Here's where I thought you were going.

Okay. I thought you were going to a place where you're like, oh, I remembered these from when I was a kid. You know, great little party favor. Yeah. Always fun to get. And I take them out of the package for my kids. And they're itty-bitty. I thought this was a story of shrinkflation.

Oh, I see. You know, sleepy, we're a very topical program. We're a very topical program. Very topical program. You say it's the other way around. Dino sponges have gotten huge. I'm just saying if you're out there

and you need to marvel at the miracle that is modern technology, get yourself one of these chunky dynos. Treat yourself to a chunky dino because this thing is extraordinary. What are the species? Is Chonky the species? Yeah, I think Chonk, uh, the Latin name. Chonky is the species. It's not like Chuck E cheese.

It's Chonk hyphen E. Right. So like Chonky like Wally. Chonk E. Dino. Gotcha. It's sort of stegosaurus like. Okay. It has a frill.

All right. Is there anything with a frill that doesn't have horns dino boy? Gosh. Dino man. Thank you. I was going to say, don't insult me to my face. I'm boy detective dino man. Uh-huh.

Get my dumb nicknames right. Uh, so we're talking about a frill. So I guess a stegosaurus wouldn't have a frill. It has the plates. Okay. So, uh, bony, bony plate. I'm talking about like a collar frill, like, uh, Elizabethan dandy. So we got a, we got a bony frill, but no horns.

No horns. Jesse, you're looking at a proto serotops. Protoceratops. Protoceratops. I guess protoceratops was the protoceratops, and this is the final seratops. Yes. One assumes. One assumes, should we introduce our guest on the program?

Our guest on the program is a legendary cartoonist. You've seen her work in The New Yorker. She's a legend of the National Lampoon. She was known worldwide as the non-asshole at the National Lampoon in the early 1980s. She wrote the first episode of The Simpsons. She is the author of several best-selling comic memoirs about her time working as a diner waitress and her most recent book is called Do Admit the Mitford sisters and me, Mimi Pond. Hi, Mimi. Hi, how are you doing? I'm doing well. My daughter was very impressed

that I was going to meet the creator of Santa's Little Helper. Yeah, I mean, that's a feathering your cat. I was like, she's basically my friend. We talked one time about how many yogurts they have at the Super King. Nice. So many yogurt. So much a whole aisle devoted to Halva. Yeah, this is incredible. You been to the Super King? I have. I am now close to a Super King, and I had a little bit of a bad experience with some meat I got there. Oh, no. Yeah, it's a little hard to return to the Super King because of a bad piece of meat I got there. Was it man flesh? Yeah, the human flesh at the Super King is so fatty. Yeah, I got kind of a gross old piece of meat there, and it's one of those things where I drive past the Super King now, and, you know, this could happen anywhere. This could

happen anywhere, but I just, I drive by it and I just remember, I have a sense of opening that meat package and getting hit with the, this meat is bad set. And you can't deal with it. They also cheated my wife once to Super King. They double charged her for her groceries. She came back with her credit card bill and they said, well, you might have just ordered the same $87 worth of groceries twice. No. You know, I will say this about Super King. I had the bad at meat experience, but I did also get a delicious armload of Armenian ice cream treats. You want a doddoo, you go to the Super King. That's the thing.

If you want a doadu. The Super King is a grocery store that caters to, I mean, what's... Tides of many lands. Yes. I think that is a very fair characterization. Yeah. It's near Glendale, California, which is the Armenian-American capital of the world. But it isn't just an Armenian grocery.

store. They have a lot of Armenian things, but like any former Soviet Republic, anywhere that has a regional yogurt. Yes. And fetas of many lands. So many fetas. So many fetas. And no matter what you're And hookas, you can buy a hookah there. Indeed. And no matter what you're buying there, a small old woman will elbow you over it. Oh, yes. Yeah. I have my whole strategy when I go to Super King. What's the strategy? Well, Sometimes I don't even take a cart. I just take a big shopping bag and I just like so I can just get around people more easily. But they do have like really great bulk bins for all kinds of nuts, all kinds of spices, really cheap.

Great cheap produce, wonderful produce. Yeah, and their deli is insane, you know, like all kinds of Eastern European sausage meats. And the people at the deli counter will, not the people behind the deli counter, they're what they call doing their best. But the people on the other side of the deli counter will straight up fight you. And they're all over 70 and 4 foot 10. I had a woman. There was some kind of like run in the meat department on some special. And everyone was jamming over there.

And I was just trying to pass through. And there's this elderly woman who's literally just pushing me, pushing me. And I said, excuse me. And she's just like looking the other way and still pushing me. And I'm like, excuse me, stop pushing me. She went, oh, sorry. There is like, if you accidentally go to this grocery store on the day that the produce circular is released, like there's not much else in American consumerage that is really dependent on an advertisement in the newspaper anymore or like a- People get worked up.

And like when there is a sale on mandarin's at this super-can. just people will punch you. Cabbage, eight pounds for a dollar, watch out. Yeah, because these ladies are buying 16 pounds of cabbage. I noticed they took the slogan off their sign when they redid their signage because it used to say,

Super King, why do you save like a king? Yeah. And logic just does not... Kings don't, I mean, they have the purchasing power to strong arm. They don't care about saving. Yeah, that's a good point. They care about how many different kinds of bird

are at their feast table. They'll want to eat a peacock. You can buy a chocolate confection at Super King that's called Bird's Milk. Oh, yeah. That's the thing that I mean, you mentioned the Armenian ice cream bars, which are tremendous.

But they're... I like a daw do. But they're like, if you like ice cream, which I do, the number of like different kinds of rosewater and pistachio and saffron ice creams,

oh man. What is it? What is in bird's milk? I bought someone's and it was basically like this icky, waxy chocolate covered gelatiny. Okay. It's very disappointing. What comes from the teat of a bird? I know.

It's very disappointing. A slime, a kind of a bird slime. Have you never milked a bird, Jordan? No. You can buy a frozen, chopped vegetable that's name is just simply Jew. Oh. Wow. Yeah.

That's intense. See, I know my super king. Mimi, how were your holidays? They were good. They were nice and low-key. Our adult children were both with us and bought us thoughtful gifts. That was very nice. Speaking as an adult child myself. It can be kind of hard to get those parents' gifts sometimes.

Yeah, they did well. Okay. They did well. They finally learned. You finally got it pounded into them. Last year, for the first time ever, I decided I would be Mrs. Grinch. like, not going to do it, not even going to get out the Christmas decorations, just going to ignore the whole holiday. Where did this come from? Why are you like, this is the Grinch here? Because I fucking

hate Christmas because as a mother, it has always been my job. Sure. It's my job. And then I sit there and I get nothing. Everyone else gets stuff. I get nothing. So yeah, so I was just like both kids were not going to be home. So it's just like, let's just, Grench time. Ignore it. And it was just the most depressing. I do not recommend this. It was just completely depressing. Sure. So this year we got the tree, we got out the decorations. We enjoyed it. We actually enjoyed it. Do you? Because normally,

I just like, I've been feeling since I was an adult that it's like just jammed down your throat every single year. But I was able to, you know, feel festive. I like to put the Christ back in Christmas. That's, I mean, it's the reason for the season. Oh, I got a story. So I'm driving my kids around. They're like,

Oh, I'm glad you mentioned the Christ child. Me and Jesus went to Tampa one year. No, no, no, no. It's better. The kids are like four and six, four and seven. We're driving around Atwater looking at the Christmas lights. And I'm like, oh, look over there. There's a nativity scene. There's a little baby Jesus in the manger.

My six-year-old son from the back seat goes, Jesus, Jesus Christ. I have worst mother ever. I am told that Burbank has a Grinch that, like, like a neighborhood grinch that comes around on like a flatbed truck and the kids pelt him with snowballs. I'm not sure what they're made of. Someone from Burbank was telling me about the Grinch pelting that happens every year. Just a dream you had about Burbank, Jordan.

Probably, yeah. I did do ayahuasca in Burbank. Did you just extrapolate this from the number of goth clothing stores there are in Burbank or whatever? They probably do have a local Grinch. Anyway, I was wondering if either of you with kids had been to this Grinch pelting. I've never heard of that. But my kids are 30 and 33. You're never too old to pelt a Grinch.

I went to the Highland Park Christmas Parade. Yes. There's like the Christmas-eatiest thing that I did this year. And that is primarily composed of just gigantic cheerleading schools. Okay. Like five to seven-year-olds who are learning cheerleading. Okay. On mass.

Like they will just be like, I mean, I'm, talking about literally there'll be 70. It's a lot of cheer. From like maybe 14 or 15 down to five or six. Right. And they'll just be doing a weirdly intense stance while ladies pass out flyers for the cheerleading school. Okay.

There was probably six of those. Like I don't even know if there are any remaining children in my neighborhood who are not in one of these. Right. But then. Cheer cabals. Then it'll just be like, this is the French club. And it's just like six people wearing berets.

Oh, that's fun. The main distinguishing thing about it that I realized is like all the local politicians are in the parade. Okay. Or a city councilperson. Sure. Maybe you got a comptroller in there. Some assembly members, you know, a congressperson or two, you know, so on and so forth down the line.

Do you just like saying the word comptroller? Yeah, it's fun. Say it with me, audience. And you can really tell who's got their shit together by, like, how good of a car they're riding in. Right. And I don't mean how expensive of a car they're riding in. Sure. But, like, our state senator was riding in the back of a Lexus SUV with the windows rolled down.

Okay. Waving out the window. Right. And I'm like, is this the best you can do? Like, you're representing northeast Los Angeles. This is the best you can do. I can't just rent a convertible. I know.

That's the thing. If you live in northeast Los Angeles and you do not have a neighbor who's willing to drive you in the back of their Impala, you have no friends. How did you get elected? It was totally. And you know who had the best cars? The intensive evangelical churches. Oh, I believe it. That makes sense.

Yeah, like the churches for ex-cons. That's who has the best cars. Those guys are now pouring all of their energy into pinstriping. Sure. Yeah. That makes sense. But I love a parade. Mimi, you mentioned before we started recording that you recently had a book tour event in,

am I remembering this correctly, Fort Lauderdale? No, it was Palm Beach. Palm Beach. I got my Florida things wrong. It's West Palm Beach. West Palm Beach. Excuse me. A Mimi Pond graphic novel is an upscale graphic novel, Jordan.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply. How was it? How did you like Florida? Well, you know, I had given the same talk. a couple weeks earlier at the Los Angeles Breakfast Club. Oh, where I killed.

I mean, I killed. I've recently been made aware of the Los Angeles Breakfast Club. Can you describe it? I still am kind of unclear on what it is. Okay. It's like a fraternal organization. It was started by studio executives in the 1920s as kind of a parody of a fraternal

organization. Okay. So they have like silly secret handshakes and a theme song. Really, really sticking it to the Elks. And they do these silly things. Like they meet every Wednesday morning at 7 o'clock in the morning for a full breakfast. And then there's a speaker every single Wednesday who entertains them. And I was the entertainment that day.

And it's, you know, it was like Walt Disney was a member. Like, you know, all those guys. And it started out like as an equestrian thing because of Burbank, I think. But then it just became like this. Then for a while. It was a goth thing. Then it was a model train thing. And then it was a Grinch thing.

Maybe. Anyway, really great crowd, really enthusiastic, all caffeineed up. How many people are we talking about? I'm like 100 people. Wow. Yeah. That's a solid turnout. Yeah. How's the breakfast?

It's good. It's a good breakfast. Bacon, sausage, eggs, waffles. Oh, wow. I once addressed the Los Angeles Humanities Association, the club for the foundation for the humanities. It's a similar kind of semi-faternal organization, but for humanities. humanities related things.

This is a lot sillier, I think. Yeah. These people did not care for me particularly. Well, I did very well. And I sold every last copy of Do Admit the Mithford Sisters and me that they brought from Secret Headquarters bookstore and Atwater, great comics bookstore. Jordan Jesse Go listeners. Shout out to Secret Headquarters.

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I sold my merch. I have Midford Sisters coasters. I have Midford Sisters Pins. I have Midford Sisters T-Towel. just like what did really well. So in Palm Beach, this event, I'm reading from my book, you know,

with the slideshow about, you know, the Midford sisters introducing each of them. And then I go into my own childhood story of growing up in San Diego, which is like, you know, polar opposite of the Cotswolds in the 19-teens and 20s. They both have good volleyball scenes, right? Yeah.

And because the Spanish Civil War figures in the Mitford's sister's story, I also related a strange tale of going to see the prime of Miss Jean Brody at a movie theater when I was about 13 years old. And I don't want to describe what happens, but it was pretty comic. But nobody in Palm Beach was particularly impressed by my imitation of Maggie Smith. We do try and avoid the comic, first of all, so thank you. We take great pains. I said, girls, I am in my pain. It's the Rock Solid. That's good. That's rock solid. I went over like a solid gold balloon at that event. But the Breakfast Club people liked you. They liked me. Okay. What do you think was the Florida people's problem?

You know, Palm Beach socialites. I don't know. I mean, it just didn't quite play. They still bought a bunch of books, bless their hearts. And I was grateful to be there and everything. But it was not my best event. You said this was at Mar-a-Lago? No, it was not. But in fact, it was at a great private museum owned by a friend of ours who's very generous and thoughtful. But there was a young woman who came up to get her book signed afterwards who told me she'd just spent the last nine years in England. And she said, everyone over there is so excited about what's going on in this country. And I said, what specifically? What do you mean?

You're like, tell me, tell me what's brought you here. Well, they all want to come to Mar-a-Lago. She said, I was like, oh, my gosh. And your name was? Sign the book. They hear Kid Rock is there. They just want to meet Kid Rock. But that was the only.

Jordan, did you ever go to any of those Florida places when you were like fuel TVing or something? And when I say those Florida places, I mean, I'm not talking about Miami. I'm not talking about Orlando. I'm not talking also about like a tax. I'm not talking about like a southern, not southern Florida, but a culturally southern part of Florida. I'm talking about your second-tier resort cities in. I have not. No, the only Florida's I have been to were I've been to, or for Fuel TV. Mimi, I used to work for a TV network that's not around anymore called Fuel TV that did like skateboarding and snowboarding and stuff.

And I went to Orlando a few times for like X games type things. and I was in Miami for like, you know, 60 hours once, and it was the most fun I've ever had in my life. It was so great. Miami rules. But no, I've never been to any of the other Florida's. There's a, oh gosh, I follow online a, like, music festival that happens in Gainesville. And I always, like, love to look at their lineup.

And I'm like, ah, one of these days, I'm going to go to this music festival in Gainesville. But I never do it. Maybe this is the year. Maybe 2026 I finally get my ass to Gainesville. Once many years ago, one of the first sponsors of Bullseye, then the Sound of Young America, was this like talent contest, this online talent contest called Project Breakout that was trying to be YouTube meets American Idol. And they had this, they had this comedy contest. And like the most fun part of the comedy contest was I went to New York. And there used to be this club in the meatpacking district called Comics.

And they did one round. of the comedy contest there. And Jane Borden, our friend Jane Borden was there. And John Mullaney headlined the show. It was a lot of fun. But I also, the guy who ran this company was a Canadian ISP millionaire. He had started an internet service provider in Canada, sold it for millions of dollars. And this was his next business idea.

And he lived in Bocca Raton. Okay. And I went to Boca Raton for one of the rounds of this contest. And I spent like, I'm going to say he did not want to give me a lot of nights in a hotel. So I'm going to say I spent 72 hours with our friend Biz Ellis, who used to host the, or is wrapping up the Maximum podcast, One Bad Mother. And Anne Beetz, the original Saturday Night Live writer, who I had recruited the two, I had recruited the two of them to be judges on this thing.

And Bizz is like the most like type A focus driven human being on earth. And Anne Beetz was colorful. And it was quite the experience to be in the like shittiest spring breakdown ever with no spring breakers. It was like weirdly abandoned. And just with a person who Carrie Fisher's character on 30 Rock was 1,000% yes for sure based on. Okay. And my southern friend, Biz Ellis, who was, you know, sipping iced tea her way through Boca Raton, it was really something else.

Mimi, do you have any, like, book event places that have been, like, surprisingly awesome? Like, I didn't think it would go great here, but then it was. Yeah. My husband's from Chattanooga, and he was down there and in Nashville where he had an art show opening recently. I really want to go to Nashville. I'm like, I'm like. You don't want to go to Nashville.

Do I not want to go to Nashville? He has a Bachelorette party coming up. I have all these penis crowns me, me. I bought wholesale penis crowns. That's all it is. It's a nightmare. It's like Vegas. It's like Vegas.

It's horrible. Okay. It's just icky. I think I might like it. No, I don't think. Jordan loves Vegas. Okay, okay. Anyway, no, Chattanooga is really where you want to go because it's, it's,

for good things about their choochoo. No, it, like, I start. I started going there in the 80s. In the 80s with my husband, and it was just this backwater, and now it's this hip happening, hoo-ha. Haha! It's a woo-ha. I would love to go to O-W-A. It's a really fun town.

It's like a lot going on. There's a fantastic aquarium there. They've got a good museum. They've got all kinds of really good restaurants. And they've got good bookstores. And a friend got me a book event at this bookstore called the book and cover, I think it's called and it's, I realized later, of course, the Mitford sisters and Southern women would have everything in common because they, they have, you know, it's old money, they come, you know,

they have domineering patriarchs, and they marry their cousins, just like the Mithford's did. Sure. Let's address what the Mithford sisters actually were, because I feel like I alluded to the fact that some of them were fascists. Well, all right, there were six English sisters born between 1904 and 1920, the short elevator pitches, they all did a bunch of shit they never should have done. But through their deeds and actions, they reflected every single aspect of the 20th century, from the First World War and fascism, up to Jessica Mitford's husband defended the Black Panthers. Deborah Mitford, who became the Duchess of Devonshire, was dallying with JFK on the brink of the Bay of Pigs.

Wow, dallying. Yes. That guy loved to dally. He did dally. Yeah. Was she dillying? Apparently so. I don't know the difference.

Apparently so. Yeah. So one was Hitler's best friend. Right. The other one was married to Oswald Mosley, who was the head of the British Union of fascists. One of them who, yeah, was that the one that got married at Gerbils? Yes. Diana, Diana Mitford married Oswald Mosley in Joseph Gubble's living room.

Like, I got a friend who's got a nice place, join me. It's so hard to find a wedding venue. After you get done. So overpriced. Again, I got all these penis crowns. It was a multi-level marketing thing. They're in my garage. I don't know what to do with them.

That must have been a very unusual multi-level marketing pitch, Jordan. Have you tried your Buy-Nothing group on Facebook? Yeah, I know. Maybe I should need to lay them out on a tarp in the park and see who comes for them. I'm called, I'm a Pagan. That's someone who only accepts free penis crowns. Yeah. I thought that would be a vegan.

who likes penis crowns. Do you have a favorite Mifford sister? Yes, Jessica Mithford. Why Jessica? Because she completely turned her back on her family and the aristocracy and became not only a great hero of civil rights,

but also a muck-wracking journalist who totally changed the American funeral industry with her best-selling book, The American Way of Death, in 1963. My favorite is the one who was friends with Hitler. Cool. Because I'm really chill, dude Sure, yeah, clearly

I should mention that all of my penis crowns Are vegan. They're not real, they're not animal Penises, they're cruelty. They're not made of forever plastics, are they? Shit, they are. Fuck. God damn it, Jordan. Okay, hold on. Let's take a break. I'm going to find a way to unload these penis crowns.

You need responsibly sourced penis crowns. Where did you source the croons? I don't know. I was drunk. Don't get drunk at a multi-level marketing meeting. like, I don't know. This is worse than that time that you got drunk at the landmark forum. Don't remind me. Or that time that you got drunk at that timeshare presentation and ended up with a house in Boker

atone. I'm bad with money, okay? And alcohol. And alcohol. And penises. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every single episode of Jordan Jesse Go is supported by the audience of our program. All the folks who have become members of maximum fun. And they're also the only ones who get to hear our special members-only episodes. Jordan, I just happened upon a member-only jacket at the thrift store today. I did not purchase it. Right. But I thought about getting it for the folks who have been listening to our show,

podcast, movie, movie podcast, and sometimes we talk about shows. I'm sure they're like a jacket with little, straps. Yeah, they got a little strap around the neck. It's an iconic double snap throat latch. Okay. But hey, you don't need a jacket with a latch to listen to podcast, movie, movie podcast, or any of our other bonus shows, maximum fun.org slash join. We're still taking a deep dive into the world of Alex Inc. right? Yeah, you only need a latch if you're building a cabinet or trying to breastfeed. Sure. Yeah, there you go. That's really important. The mouth to the breast.

You got it. The source of life. Need I go on. This guy. This guy, sons of a lactation nurse. Yep. That's right. Okay.

We're also supported this week by the good folks at car gurus. Jordan, I've been considering looking for a new car because I'm very annoyed with the people at the car company that made my car. Okay. They're just freaking annoying. Sure. But I have particular needs. Like I'd like to have a different. I like to have an electric car again.

I like having an electric car. I need like a car that's big enough for very tall people, including very tall children. I like a hatchback to have room for stuff in my, from the flea market, but I don't really like SUVs. It can be daunting and exhausting to try and find the right car. This sounds like an ordeal. I say, just give up. No, no, no.

I think I should use Car Guru's advanced search tool. their unbiased deal ratings and the price histories that are designed to cut through the noise, Jordan. Wow, it's no wonder Car Gurus is the number one rated car shopping app in Canada on the Apple app and Google Play Store. They can help you find the right car. They can help you figure out what those cars cost. They can connect you with a dealership if you want to. Buy your next car gurus at Cargooros.ca. Go to Cargooros.ca to make sure your big deal. deal is the best deal. And hey, Jordan, I just want to mention Judge John Hatchman just announced two shows in Brooklyn, New York City in March. Maximumfund.org slash events. Come see us at the Bell House. We're doing this new show where we're basically, you know, it's half Judge John Hatchman, half

we're cruise ship entertainers, basically. Okay. You're going to do some hypnosis? Going to invite some audience members up on stage and hypnotize them to cluck like chickens. I'm going to do some magic tricks with giant playing cards. That kind of amazing. Jesse, that sounds great, but if you're not in New York and you want to see me instead of you, I have some opportunities. Uh-huh. Where, where do you do that? Us doing separate live appearances is going to increase the rumors that we're actually the same guy because you see us in the same place at the same time. This is very exciting for me and the people of Santa Ana. I'm going to be hosting a predator double feature at the Frida Cinema in Santa Ana. That's in beautiful Orange

County. Wait, hold on, Jordan. This sounds great. What if they don't live in Santa Ana? What if they live in the city of Orange? Jesse, it's accessible by car, public transportation, or other. Great, because a lot of our listeners choose to live in the city of Orange because of the great antiquing. Sure, yes. But they also love Predator. But this is a great news. People, citizens, everyone can come. People live in Orange, Irvine. Come out from Rural. Riverside, if you dang well, please. It's a Predator double feature. This is Thursday, February 26th.

That's 7 p.m. We're going to be showing the original Predator, the Arnold version, and the newest movie, Predator Badlands. And I'm going to be signing and selling copies of Predator Bloodshed, the new comic series that drops that week. So please come to that. Frida Cinema.org is where you go to get those tickets. And if you're in the Pacific Northwest,

I am going to be joining our pals, the Doble. for some of their live shows. February 28th at the Aladdin Theater in Portland. Don't care for them personally, just so you know. That's okay. Different strokes for different folks. I know you're more of a Theovon guy.

Yeah. February 28th at the Aladdin Theater in Portland and March 1st at the Neptune Theater in Seattle. Going to be goofing around with the dough boys. Their tickets are all at birdfuck.com slash live. Yes, that's their website. Jordan, did you know that one of my flea market friends owns the Neptune Theater in Seattle? I did not know that.

I mean, with his family, like his whole family owns it. Sure. They, like, inherited it from a vaudeville entertainer from their family lineage in 1910. This is cool. I'm now more excited to see the Neptune Theater. It sounds like it's a historic building. It's a wonderful theater with a very, very tall and steep staircase to get to the green room. So have fun with that, Jordan, but they got to wash your dryer.

This is the kind of information our audience needs to know if they live in Seattle and Portland want to go see Jordan and the doughboys. Okay, we'll talk to you in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La It's The Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. And I'm Mimi Pond. Costco's biggest fan. Whoa, wow. Shots fired.

Mimi, do you know what you just waded into? Well, I'm not sure. Mimi, have you ever been on the cover of Costco Connection magazine? Oh, I girl can dream. Well, you're talking to a guy who, while he was not himself on the cover of Costco Connection magazine, was featured in an article that was the cover story in Costco Connection magazine. Really? Yeah, the only time I've ever done any press that was impactful.

This is going to, I mean, obviously, this is going to, changed the course of your book. I want to make that, because this is going to sell a lot of copies of your book. But for me... They're not selling books at Costco anymore. For me, they started again. Did they? Yeah, but only a small selection, very small, an even smaller selection. They'll have to include to admit now. You got to get in there amongst the America's Test Kitchen cookbooks. I have a question for you, Mimi. This is only going to make sense to those who are able to see you through the magic of presumably social media, which is you have always, at least since I have known you,

had boldly colored hair that matched your eyeglass frames. This is maybe I first met you 10 years ago, and it was the case then, it is now. Your eyeglasses are electric blue, and like a sort of turquoisey electric blue, your hair the same. However, I noticed. Also, my eyeshadow, because you know what? Oh, yeah.

Blue eye shadow, not just for waitresses anymore. That's a good point. Now it's for ex-waterses as well. That's right. You are also wearing pins featuring, I'm presuming, each of the Midford sisters, one for each. I designed myself and that are available on my website, MimiPon.com, where you can also find tea towels and coasters. And signed copies of my book. Hell yeah.

They match your eyeglasses and your hair was that intentional. Did you have outfit coordination in mind? Yes, I did. Did you also coordinate the colors of the book with that purpose in mind? I mean, I came up with the blue because it just, it was my previous two books over Easy and the customer is always wrong, which are memoirs about my waitressing career in Oakland, were in a monochrome black, white, and a shade of green. And this book I wanted to do the monotone monochrome thing again and blue.

It just felt right. I think color is always going to be an emotional choice. You know, it just was like, it just seemed right. I have a question for you. Sure. Do old bitties at beauty salons still have purple-tinged hair? So, uh, why, why are you asking me? Why aren't you asking me?

Have you been to any of the kind of beauty salons with those chairs that you sit in with a thing that goes over your head that sets your hair? Yes, every week. Because my, my good friend is my hairdresser. hence the blue hair and screenwriting partner. And I don't know that he doesn't do blue rinses on old ladies so much. I mean, what he does is crazy colors on people of all ages who let him. And I don't know, the last time I remember that being a thing as I was getting off a bus at Arlington National

Cemetery and I saw these other women getting off another bus who all seem to have been bused in from like an assisted living center. And it was like they'd all shared the same bottle of blue. rinse. I always just like, as somebody who was not alive at the peak of that, which in my mind is maybe 1970 would be the peak of an old lady with a colored hair. You know, I don't, I don't know. It seems like it went from like the late 40s through the 60s.

Okay. I'll take that. I have often been confused as to why these otherwise like doily crocheting characters could do something that outrageous. It was a tint. It was a pale tint. It wasn't really like screaming. But I mean, it wasn't hair colored. Well, it was like it's meant to sort of, for one thing, it enhances the silver in your hair. and it washes out the yellowing that can happen with white and gray hair that's far less attractive. So that's the root of that.

I love it. It's great. Jordan, are you going to get electric blue when you become an old bitty? You know, maybe. Just a little blue tint. A little blue tint, yeah. I'm going to be outrageous. I'm going to get that, finally get that convertible tear around Pasadena.

It's going to be great. My aunt Debbie has purple hair. And my aunt Gail, who has been mentioned on this program many times before my outrageous lesbian aunt, she has always had outrageously colored hair. As long as I have known her, it's been mismatched Convers All-Stars and outrageously colored hair. And it, like, it fits her character. Like, she's a spiky, purple-haired type person. My aunt Debbie is a suburban real estate agent who helps baby boomers transition from their family homes

into smaller condominiums professionally. And when she colored her hair purple, I could not figure out what it meant culturally. I could not put the pieces together as to what that was. Yeah, I mean, it seems like it has gone from something you do because you're fun to like, maybe like in the 80s, it was like, oh, you're trouble. This is a troubled counterculture thing that weirdos are doing. And now it's fun again for everyone.

When did you commit to non-natural hair color as a lifestyle? Some time in the early 2000s, I did. I want to say about 2007 or so. I mean, I was going gray and my hairdresser made me a blonde. Like, the first time I went blonde was like on September 12, 2001. Uh-huh. And everyone in the salon was a Twitter about, about what had just happened, and everyone was like upset.

And I had this bleach on my head, and I couldn't figure out if I was in pain because, I was in psychic pain because of what had just happened. Or was it? The peroxide burning a hole in my scalp, which it was both. But I mean, if you don't let the paroxone, I'd really do its work, the terrorists win. Well, that's true. Maybe it's coming back around a little bit.

Does it seem like maybe it is something now more of a signifier of like, I'm an artsy weirdo? Like, is it something that a conservative would make fun of like a woke liberal with their crazy hair? You know, is it a little more of that now? I have been made fun of by the famous podcaster Baked Alaska, who I had the This fortune of being on a train with leaving Comic Con one year, I think it was 2017. I have never heard of baked Alaska.

Well, he was a famous alt-right crazy MAGA podcaster. Okay. And then it turned out he was in Charlottesville and got bare sprayed. Got bare sprayed. But on this train ride, coming home from Comic-Con, it was completely jam-packed with people coming from San Diego to go into L.A. We've done that ride. It's a trip. Sometimes you don't get a chair.

And this guy, I don't know who he is, but he's got his phone on a selfie stick and he's talking nonstop in this crowded, very crowded train car. He's like live streaming or something. Yeah, he's live streaming. That guy goes to Comic-Con? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, he's just like talking nonstop.

And these frat boys behind him are making fun of him. But he's still just going on and on and on, talking at the top of his voice. It was just like completely annoying and horrifying and icky. And I got off the train and I was standing out front of Union Station downtown and he came out. And I just let him have it. I was like, you know, how dare you do that? And it's so rude. I'm just screaming at him.

And he's pointing his camera and he's like accusing me of being like a, you know, a social justice warrior, pink-haired crazy lady, blah, blah, blah. Thank God. I don't think he got me on camera for more than a second. Like, you know, the Twitterverse would have been after me at that point. But yeah, it was, it was freaky. Wow. Yeah, I like that, though. I like that cookie hair colors are now like, you know, I'm an art too weirdo.

I get complimented on my hair 10 times a day every single day. And I feel somehow compelled to respond to every single person as though I've never heard it before because I don't want to be an asshole, you know? Like, thank you. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, thank you. Oh, thank you. Baked Alaska sounds less to me like an alt-right streamer and more to me like a guy who has a Mallard Fillmore-style conservative newspaper comic strip in 1987. Right.

No, he was a complete dick. And then he cried because he got bear spray to Charlottesville. Oh. Well, don't worry. We have replaced him. Uh, you want to take a call, Jordan? I love to take a calls. When something momentous happens to you, like you get bear sprayed to unite the right

rally, please do not call us. However, if something good momentous happens to you, call us at 206-9844 Fun or record a voice memo and send it to us at JJGo at maximum fun.org, as has this person now. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. This is Michael from Ann Arbor, uh, calling in with a momentous occasion. We just a few minutes ago finished the bris of my second grandson. So that's extremely momentous. I think this may be the first time anybody's called in after a bris.

I could be wrong. Anyway, ever skyward. Bye. Claudebredessa actor came on our program not long after his breasts. Okay. It's relatively, relatively close to his adult brace. Have any tips? Yeah.

Very nice. Somebody had to. I think Michael from Ann Arbor, brought pawpaws to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Now, what's that? I'm talking about the Judge John Hodgman podcast. What's that? Mimi, have you ever...

An other alt-right thing? Have you ever had a paw-paw before? I've never had a paw-paw. I've always... I mean, I've read about them. And when I heard about them as a child, like there's some song about a paw-paw patch, I just thought, that sounds nasty.

The paw-paws mentioned in the bare necessities in the jungle book, I think. Okay, okay. I am... I think the pawpaws, I only know as a, like, I think like a Hannah-Barbera cartoon from our childhood with, like, maybe looking back kind of problematic Native American teddy bear characters. Oh, okay. The paw-paw is a cheramoya-like fruit that grows in the Midwest. And there's only certain parts of the United States where they grow.

Yeah. but I know that they grow in the Midwest because it was paw paw season when they were there and everyone wanted to talk to me about pawpaws. And they don't travel well. So you just, you either have them in your backyard or in the backyard of someone you know or you do not have access to them. But I think that they grow in the backyard in such quantity that if you have one paw paw tree, you have to build a network of 200 friends to distribute the pawpaws to during the like one week when they're edible. But Hodgman and I ate them, and I mean, they're pretty darn good.

Good pause, huh? I support a pawpaw. Absolutely. I support Pop-pop as well, my wife's father. Sure. But Pawpaws are a real winner. Now, they're not as good as Cheramoy's. But, you know, given the Cheramoyas grow in tropical sun and papas grow in Michigan.

Yeah, it's probably, you know, some regional pride. I think there's poppaws in the south, too. Yeah, I think that's true. I think that's true. Gabriel, what regions are growing? Pawpaws. I don't want to get this wrong. Check it out. Let's do this. Gabe, research pawpaws. Yeah.

And we got another call on the hopper. We'll come back to you for that pawpaw information. Yeah. Can we play the next call? Hello, Jordan, Jesse, Gil. This is more of a comment, and also I'm high, which I'm like 85% sure you asked for. But have you ever thought about how the sun is super duper, duper, duper. duper far away, but it's like so hot. It can burn you. You can get like third degree burns from the sun because it's so hot. Even when there's like clouds and stuff from it. That's so crazy. It's so far away, dude. Wild. Love you. Love you too. Okay. Did we ask for this? Okay. I think we should

mention. I'm going to write that down. I mean, first of all, I want to say, anytime someone says this is more of a comment than a question. And what they say next is not about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I'm grateful. It's good. I want to say I'm grateful for it. I should say we banked some episodes. We've been playing banked episodes for a while. You know, the holidays. You're taking some time off. We have. So there are stuff that people are now responding to that we may be actually recorded two or three months ago. I have a vague memory that we opened up the door to this is more of a comment. Okay. Mimi, you're probably familiar. As someone who does book events, you probably

have a lot of people standing up and making something that's more of a comment. This is you're familiar with this. It's always fun to get, isn't it? My favorite happened at the Stavros, New York's New York Public Library. Okay. Stavvy's World. It was me and two other drawn and quarterly cartoonist on tour together, and we all did our presentations and then opened it up to questioning, and a guy gets up.

This is a, in New York City, a guy gets up, and he says, someone had referred to, you know, like, who's next at the podium? And this guy just gets up and he says, I just wanted to let you know, it's not really a podium. It's a lectern. Wow. That's an all-timer. You're like, that's worse than someone standing up and saying, this is more of a comment than a question. I think Hitler is good.

You've been calling this a podium. Frankly, I've been freaking out over here. This will not stand. Sure, someone had to say something. You stand behind the lectern on top of the podium. The podium elevates you. The lectern is what you put your notes on top of the. The dais elevates you.

The dais elevates you. Okay, thank you. And it can be podium is interchangeable for lectern. Okay. I looked it up. Wow. Because I'm that kind of person. So I think we are now fielding calls that are more of a comment.

Uh-huh. Did we ask people to get 85% high? I don't know, but I do. I think this caller did a great job of being like, I mean, what a classic stoner. It's classic. What a, what a, like from a, from a 90s. Dave's not here. Dave's not.

This is at a Dave's not. Because, you know, speaking of things that, you know, the cultural context has changed. You know, as a weed. It's everywhere. You can get it. Mom's, mom's vaping at the, mom's, she's vaping at this, the PTA meeting. Yes, at the quick stop. BTA meeting is.

Grandma loves her gummies. Yeah, but it's just nice to have our collar. From what it sounded like was just a classic, isn't the son weird man, dude. Bring back that. Bring back tie-dye shirts. I think this collar. This collar is a marijuana dealer.

Yes. Who insists that the people who buy marijuana from her stay and hang out. Yes. Uh-huh. Oh, my husband did a painting once called Pot Dealer's small talk. Okay. And actually, I feel

I feel kind of strongly about the way, you know, pot's been mainstream when, you know. Surely, mom's vaping at the PTA meeting. I mean, I don't like to go into wheat stores because they either they either look like a really nasty kind of 70s, you know,

head shop, stinky, patchouly thing, or they look like an Apple store. Yeah. I think it's important to get your pot from traditional sources like a guy we walking our dog. Yeah. You gotta get,

if the guy's, if you can't see his toenails and they're not a little gross, should you be buying your pot from that person? Yeah. Yeah. And yeah,

you want to make a little awkward chit chat with the guy. I never, in my life, bought illegal marijuana. Yeah. I only became the king of drugs post legalization. No, I,

I did not do much illegal. I became very excited about it when it became legal because I'm, you know, I'm kind of a rule follower. So, anyway. We're not outrageous zig when everyone else is zagging. Like me and me,

pawned. I'm drawn in quarterly. Of course not. But yeah, this call was nice. I like that we maybe have like some classic stoners in the audience, you know, some people with,

yeah, again, we got maybe some tie-dye, maybe a jean jacket with a keep-on trucking patch on it. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to hear from some classic jocks. If you're out there, you're going to beat Central this week.

Give us a call. If you're a nerd with tape on the middle of your glasses and a pocket protector. Please, hit us up. Tell us something about salamanders. Gabe, do you have any pawpaw information for us where they're grown regions, that sort of thing? There's a little map on the Wikipedia page.

It mostly is the eastern half of the states, south of Pennsylvania, around Georgia, only about the west is Missouri, and not in Michigan. Not in Michigan. And how did I get pawpaws? Maybe he made a trip. Smuggled pawpaws? Can you bring them over state lines?

Absolutely not. No. You will be shot on site. Jesse, that pawpaw was up that guy's ass. I hate to break it to you, but that pawpaw was up a guy's ass. We scooped out the soft, delicious flesh. Okay. Well, that makes it not gross.

You don't eat it whole. It does explain why it was so slippery. I mean, I said, why is this thing so slippery? Where was it? Probably I'm a guy in the house. Okay. Okay. What are you one of these state troopers?

It's out there looking for guys smuggling pauping paupers up to rest? No, I'm just a concert citizen. Okay. Don't talk to the. Amy Fawn is very upset with us right now. All you need is a wah-wah music. We do need it. We do need it.

JJ go at maximum fun.org or 206-844 for fun. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la. Sleep is important, but it's difficult sometimes. I'm John Moe. On sleeping with celebrities, famous people help conk you out by talking in soothing voices

about unimportant things. Maria Bamford on parking. I parked in a bus stop. That's just not right. I am not a bus. Roxanne Gay on airport. My favorite airport is Indianapolis. It has a really smart layout. Alan Tudick on yardsticks.

You hand somebody a yardstick. Yard sticks become part of the family. Granted, it's a weird idea, but it's lots of fun and it works. Listen, wherever you get podcasts. Hey, it's Sue the subway train. Hey, guess what, Sue? I just inherited a game show. and I have to continue it because there are people out there who like to curl up into a ball and listen to it. Yeah, it's a podcast where listeners submit game show ideas for others to play on air. Well, it is. In fact, the dumber, the better.

Right, right, it's called Dr. Game Show. Some curled up balls consider it a tradition, while others call it a train wreck. No, not you, Sue. It's Dr. Game Show. If you're the sort that likes to listen to people competing for refrigeration, magnets and curl up into a ball and listen to Dr. Gameshow every other Wednesday maximum fun.org. La La La La La La La La La La La La La La It's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective.

Mimi Pond, Costco officinado. How did you, how do you claim this title? Because I go there almost every week. Really? And I come of the clan, the tight Wahadi. I am a bulk buyer. I could be Mormon. What are you buying at Costco in bulk? What products? Is it just you and your husband celebrated artist Wayne White?

Yes, we have a freezer, and their meat and their seafood is excellent. You're talking about a deep freeze? Like a chest freezer? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And also giant bins of flour and sugar and rice and brown sugar and powdered sugar and laundry detergent and paper towels and toilet paper and all that stuff that that if you have the storage space, then you don't have to go to the other stores as often. So then you're saving money because you're not going to the store every other day to pick up something where you wind up spending. How many items are you purchasing in a Costco trip?

Because I'm also a Costco aficionado, but my philosophy is that I go once every three months or so and spend as much money as I can. Like, not on things I don't need, but like I consider it a victory if my Costco bill is like 1,200. dollars or something because it means I waited as long as I possibly could to go to Costco. Well, I find, like, my husband eats a lot of fruit, so like apples and bananas and blueberries, so I'm always there to get fruit. Do you not eat a lot of fruit? No, I eat a fair amount of fruit, but he just, like, snacks on it all day. Do you get the $1.50 hot dog while you're there?

Sometimes I do. Yes, I do. I enjoy their $1.50 hot dog. I used to really like the IKEA hot dog, but I think they changed their formula. It was kind of like the perfect hot dog. Really? It was like just, it was little. I haven't been to an IKEA in a minute.

It was just a little bit of Lingenberry sauce. It's a little Lingenberry. I love the meatballs. I love the cafeteria. My husband hates to shop, but I took him there, and he fell in love with it. He called it Shopping School. He really liked the cafeteria. I went to an IKEA for the first time in many years, just the day before yesterday.

I took two of my kids to La Jolla, California, because they wanted to see. sea lions. Okay. La Jolla, California, my experience there, possibly because it was in between holidays, a lot of people on the street, like,

chokes streets choke with tourists. Okay. A little bit of a nightmare town. Okay. But on my way back, I needed to charge my car a little bit. So the car chargers were at a IKEA. It was the most enormous IKEA I've ever been in in my life.

Even just going in to go to the bathroom while my car was plugged in, almost put me over the edge. Okay. I was like, I guess the part of my life where I can deal with IKEA is gone. A hundred percent gone. Maybe you haven't been doing IKEA in 15 years? Do you have a special time you like to go to Costco? Oh, midweek.

Midweek. I have my secret parking place. I'm not going to tell your listeners about it because then it wouldn't be a secret anymore. You're going to Los Felis Costco? Los Velas Costco. If people want to, if people want to act, quote, accidentally meet up with Celebration Offering the Pond. Either around like 10 o'clock, 930, 10 o'clock, of course, which I have the Gold Star membership.

I was about to say, are you taking that executive hour? Yes, I am. Or midday on it midweek is good. It's like nice and empty, breeze in, breeze out. I use the self-checkout. It's like really get out of there in a hurry. Oh, wow. I'm a pro.

The thing about the self-checkout at Costco is, I don't understand how anyone could possibly check out faster than the checkout people at Costco. The efficiency of the checkout people at Costco is breathtaking. Yeah, it's, I don't know. It's faster. I guess if you know where all the bar codes are, you know, you're not spinning something around looking for a barcode. You can probably get out there. You got out of pretty fast. Really quick. You're just buying a bunch of goddamn blueberries. Sure. A bunch of goddamn blueberries. What are you buying? Just a bunch of godfucking blueberries. You buy that giant bag of asparagus? No, you can't go through that. That's the thing about the, like the vegetables. You know, you can't, you can't go through those.

massive amounts if it's just a couple of people. So, but, you know, fruit. Believe in yourself, me. I don't know. I tried. But then I, I, yeah, no, you don't want to go in there and buy a big bag of yams. You're never going to get, you're never going to get through those yams. You ever been to the Costco business center?

You know, I don't think I have been to the, that's out in the valley, right? Well, if there's one in the valley, the one I have gone to is in the city of commerce, I believe. I recommend it if you're looking to go to Costco and also purchase an entire lamb on a home. Well. For your business? Yeah, for your lamb. I'm in the lamb business and business is good. Are you making a lot of shawmas there? Yeah, I make, oh, you wouldn't believe how many shwarmas I'm making.

I'm a swarma-making machine, Jordan, you know that. Oh, yeah, you're quick too. Get yourself a trompo, make some shwarma. Why not? Well, Mimi Pond, it has been a joy to see you. It has been a delight to learn a little bit about the Medford sisters. I hope everyone will run out and purchase the book. Do admit. 4444 pages.

You took six years to write this book. That's a great value. If you calculate the cover price of the book relative to the number of pictures that maybe had to draw. It's like six cents an hour. Yeah. I mean, this is why she has to do her own checkout at the cost. That's right. She spent all her time and money on Blue Ink.

Do you have any book events coming up? Will you be out and about signing stuff? doing your famous. Oh, sorry, who was your impression of, Helen Mirren? No, Jean's. I mean, Maggie Smith. Maggie Smith, one of the great dames. Mrs. Jean Brody, and she's in her prime.

Okay. Yeah, will you be out there? Well, I'll be in Oxford, England at the end of March at the Oxford Literary Festival. A lot of our listeners are reading philosophy there. Are they really? No, sure, why not? getting high and looking at the sun those are our listeners

you could get a third degree burn you could get a third degree burn that's a great point that the listener had that collar is dead right the sun is the furthest away thing that can burn you yeah that is freaky

it's like not even close I'd like to see something else right not even close hey North Star give it a try you know what I mean hey Cassiopea I'm freezing

here. Burn me, baby. Is Casio P.S.R. A constellation? There would be a constellation, I think. Does that sound right? I don't know. Gabe, look that up on the pop-paw map.

This is a lectern podium situation over here. Constellation. Well, Gabe was what I said, still funny. If it's any constellation to you. Dear Lord. That was funny. Jesus, Jesus Christ. Mimi Pond, always a joy.

Gabe Mara producing this week's program on behalf of Jordan cowling away this week, but still on the cuts and posts. Yes. Our theme music, love you by the free design, courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. Find us on social media. By all means, you can find me on Instagram, Jesse Thorne, very famous. Jordan is Jordan David Morris.

Jordan Jesse Go is Jordan Jesse Go Pod. We're also on Blue Sky. I am Jesse Thorne there. Jordan Jesse Go is Jordan Jesse Go there. And Jordan, do you remember what you are there? I think I'm Jordan Morris over there. I think you're Jordan Morris over there. Desky.social.org.

I also signed up for TikTok as well. Wow. At the behest of the Chinese government. Okay. So Jesse Thorne, very famous on TikTok. You want to get some of your data out there. Yeah, you want to watch some videos of varying levels of sincerity. Ooh.

That sounds fun. Jesse Thorne, very famous. pointing at ADHD symptoms. Yeah, exactly. I love it when people point at symptoms. I'm doing my favorite Beyonce dances. That's fun. With my grandma.

Mm-hmm. All right, that's good enough, huh? It is. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

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