Jordan, Jesse, GO! - High Value Treat, with Allie Goertz

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

On today’s episode, we welcome friend of the show Allie Goertz to chat about a good coat nap, a new lap cat, why Downtown LA is like 1940s Manhattan, and much more.  *Follow Allie on Instagram. *Check out Allie on Bandcamp.*Listen to Allie’s NIN cover on YouTube!*Celebrate 25 years of Bullseye!*Visit bit.ly/coolfight for the new comic series Predator Bloodshed, which drops Feb 25, 2026! *Order Jordan’s Predator comic: Black, White & Blood!* Order Jordan’s new Venom comic!* Donate to Al Otro Lado.* Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!JJGo MERCH ~Get Bronto Dino-Merch!Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On, and use CODE JJGO for 10% off.Follow beloved former producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Follow bedazzled new producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram.Visit GetSoul.com and use code JJGO for 40% off. Visit Auraframes.com and use Promo Code: GO for $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, here with a Canon update. Great. Is this the Western Canyon?

Have you been talking to Yale Professor Harold Bloom? Yeah, and he's here today. Oh, wow. He's here to tell us what's wrong with white teeth by Zadie Smith. No, it's an update to our personal canon, the Jordan Jesse Go universe. The one that we used to shoot our enemies to the moon? No, no, no. I'm talking about the fictional universe that this show inhabits.

Oh, got it. Thank you. Okay, that makes sense. And I, and I, let me just say, Jesse. It just got a whole lot bigger. Oh, really? Yes. Like the real universe that humans live in, so too is the universe of this podcast expanding.

Is it because of a sort of like semi-spinoff situation, like homicide life in the street and the, maybe the law and order universe had a character from homicide life in the street? Jesse, you're close. Okay. You're very close. You're closer than you think. Okay, so this is like something we were chatting about, and it takes it. I'll have to lay a little bit of track.

Usually I like to lay pipe, but I'm going to lay some track here. I like to lay down the log. Go ahead. Oh, I can't wait to hear what our guests likes to lay down. I like to lay down. Isn't it nice after a long day? You want to just bring in our guest immediately. She's an old pal.

She doesn't have to wait for the, you know, for the thing. She's a writer and a musician. She's the world's number one troubadour of all. things mill house alley curts hello how's it going well thank you where do you like to lay down alley where don't i like to lay down it's actually a longer list there's a lot of places i don't the grass it makes me itchy yeah um i do really like to have a secret nap at a party um have you ever done that yeah you know people i can't nap the coat room i don't get it like a very high level of napping yeah and i can nap but i don't get invited to parties

I didn't say I was invited to the party. Oh, okay. You're a motion. Yeah, I'm a napping crasher. Yeah. Don't let me derail you from this exciting news. It sounds like you were about to say that there's a Jordan Jesse go baby of some sort or something. Okay, well, I'll finish this and then we'll circle back to party napping.

Okay. So if people have been listening to our bonus series, podcast, movie, movie podcast, and sometimes we talk about shows for Allie and anybody who might not be listening. It's a series for Max Fund members where we look at TV shows and movies that have podcasting in them. We analyze the episodes and we critique, you know, how they use podcasting in the story. And, you know, the one show that everybody kind of demanded we do when we started this project was the Sex and the City reboot. It has a weird name. It has a weird name that and just like that.

And just like, you know, I always thought it was in just like that. Anyway, I said that in the episode, said it again, think it's good, think it's funny, think it's worth saying. Anyway. It took me a second. It's a thinker, Jordan. That's actually a very smart joke. Usually I'm a stinker.

I started by judging you for the stupid thing you said, and then I judged me for not getting it. Listen, Allie, we're all bad. We all suck. Jordan, you're a stinker. I'm a drinker. Oh, boy, Jesse. We've got to take away your AA chips. You're a problem. You're a problem, stinker.

Your stinking is affecting everyone around you. So we watched an episode of, and just like that. And Jesse, do you kind of remember how they used podcasting in the episode? it was like the main character, Carrie Bradshaw, it's like we're like finding her, you know, whatever, 20 years after the initial show ended and it's modern day. And they're like, columns don't exist anymore. There's no such thing as magazines.

They replaced writing podcasts. Now people have podcasts and she goes into this podcast because she is going to be like the, uh, she's going to be the gen X counterpart to the younger, hipper podcasters. Right. And when do they yell, they yell woke moment a lot at each other, right? That's the premise of the show. The premise is that they yell woke moment at each other. And also, I think the other premise is all podcasts are bad, which isn't incorrect. No. They got that right. woke moment. A woke moment.

Jordan Cowling, our newish producer, if you just go ahead and yell woke moment anytime you see fit, that'd be great if you kind of pick that up. Thank you.

Woke moment. Thank you. Good, good delivery. Good job putting some English on it. Can we get some options? Anyway. So, you know, so we watched this.

We had some fun. I don't think we particularly enjoyed it, but, you know, I don't think any of us had any like pre-existing I don't think anyone particularly enjoyed it. No, I think even the people who watch it don't enjoy it, right? Is that part of that show?

It's a hate watch. Yeah, Allie, have you watched any of this thing? I watched the first and maybe second season. I think I was surprised to learn how many seasons of just and just like that there are. I definitely was struck by the quality of it being different from what I remember the show in its original form being. Right. And oh, a thing about it is that. there's a lot of like, you know, they really try and cram in everything they missed when

the show was off the air. So there's a lot of like COVID talk in it. Like they really go, do a lot of COVID jokes. Like, I thought of one that I think they should have done. Like somebody at some point should have been like, I don't care much for Moderna, but I will take a mimosa. Oh, there you go. Remember when everybody talked about Moderna a lot? Remember like when that was a thing? Moderna. Yeah. Pfizer. Anyway. Another, those words don't mean anything. Astrozenica. Astrozenica, sure.

So, a loyal, a loyal listener, friend of the program. Jordan, what of our... I took the Russian one. I got the Russian one. What was the Russian one? I don't remember what it was called, but it was significantly less effective.

Oh, boy. That's why you kept getting COVID. Well, in Russia, it takes you. Yes. That's good. No, it's not. Yeah. So, loyal.

loyal friend of the show, one of our OG, most loyal listeners, Hannah, got in touch. Hannah used to work in podcast merchandising, and the set decorator of the show got in touch with them and said, would you send over, like, podcast stuff for us to have in the podcasting studio on this show? So if you look around the podcast studio, there's a lot of, like, you know, stickers and stuff from like real podcasts. One of those is the purr cast, which was hosted by Stephen Ray Morris,

former producer of this show. So Stephen Ray Morris exists in the world of sex in the city. And by the transitive property, a phrase I think I'm using correctly, we exist in the sex in the city universe because he produced our show. We exist in the sex in the city universe. And now we're icons.

He's cats sit for me once, which also means that my cat is part of the sex in the city. What? Yeah. What? This is huge. I got to go tell him. Yeah. And I've been on a bunch of stand-up lineups with that one character everyone hates.

Yes. So there you go. So this is really great for us, I think. Yeah, I think we're going to start to wear, like, iconic hats, chunky jewelry. Sure. I'm all about statement jewelry. Okay, let's hear about this party nap. Yes.

There's nothing to share. And if anything, I should pivot to who's taking a really good party nap in my lap right now. No, we're not pivoting yet. We can pivot later, Allie. How many naps at other people's homes or in non-your-house venues have you napped at? I can say with confidence that there have been at least, and it maybe doesn't feel high, but I would argue that over zero is high to some. I would say that there have been at least three times

that I've gone to a person's house with the intention of being a party guest and have found myself. Usually it starts with like finding a dog in a room or, you know, there's something else kind of going on and I'm like, I'm a little overwhelmed by the crowd. And then next thing I know, it's a little cozy coat bed situation.

Oh, the bed with the coats. Bed with the coats. But, you know, it's been a long time. I'm trying to break this habit. You don't tear up the coats like hamsters do newspapers, right? I don't think that's any of your business. The coats are soaked with urine when she leaves. Much like a hamster.

I don't know how they got like that. I mean, Ellie, it's my business if you ever want to get invited to a party at my house. Fine, I do it. But it's cute. I do understand the nesting element. Once I imagine it being in the coat. bedroom. The coat bedroom. And once the coats have all been placed in there, let's say the party has been going for two hours. So pretty much everybody that is coming has come. So all the

coats have been discarded in there. It's a- Yeah, and it's lined like a hamster cage. But no one is coming in to get their coat yet, because this is, we're talking about a three, four-hour party in total. Exactly. People are staying two or three hours at. Yeah, yeah, this is all adding up. These numbers are... It starts on your phone. It starts on your just kind of browsing TikTok and then, you know, it's a little cozy vibey. I personally am the type of person who loves the atmospheric sound of a party in another room that I don't have to be a part of. I find it very relaxing. I think I think of maybe my family having tons of parties when I was probably doing my own thing in the bedroom as a little kid who's not really welcome to... It makes it sound like they

were having orgies all the time. They were just probably being boring for a child. but so. But I like that the kind of the like soothing, the soothing knowledge that mom and dad are having fun. Yeah. They're having a great time. It's safe. I'm cozy. I remember having kind of feelings of falling asleep while the grownups are still having a good time. And I think that might trigger in me like a safe little like sleepiness if I find myself in a similar situation, which really has only happened a couple of times. That should be like a sound machine thing, like just a party. in the other room. Yeah, I wonder if there are ASMR videos like that. Just people going like, oh, I'm so busy.

I should have been so busy. Oh, I'm so busy. No, we should get that coffee. I would love to. I would love to, but I'm just been so busy. Jordan, was your family... Was your family hosting guests at your home as a child? Not really.

No, we didn't do a lot of partying, a party hosting. Yeah, we would have like kids over sometimes. we would like host sleep we would have like sleepovers um but yeah we didn't have a lot of like grown-up parties like that my my mom still hosts parties my mom is in her 80s way to go judy she is constantly raging like wow the number of times my mom is like sending me pictures of her friends who i don't know who they are uh in her backyard because she cooked seven different things but they also had to bring something and she's introducing her podiatrist to, you know, her friend from back in Washington, D.C. or whatever.

Like my mom, 100%. My father, I don't think he hosted a person at our house in my entire childhood. Right. I don't know. Yeah. Sounds like they were very different. That's a good point. Probably they should have gotten divorced. Oh, right. They did. Very acrimoniously.

Sure. Allie, your lap. We got to talk about it. Is this a new cat on the lap? There's a new cat. New cat just dropped. New cat. New cat.

Who did? Yeah, I'm very excited about it. I have a working name of Mia. I was thinking of Mabel because it would be a fun little Simpsons slash Gravity Falls reference. But Mia is just kind of a sweet little name. I'll bring her up to the camera. She'll let us. Is this a tortie?

Is this a... Yeah, she's called a tortie tux. Because she has like a little white, little white tuxedo chest, just super cute and the little mittens. I snapped her up from the street. She was just kind of running around in the street. Outdoor cat, clearly, there are a lot of folks in Frogtown who I think maybe don't know that you're supposed to get your cats fixed and they let the cats go in and out. And I'm sure that this little one and its siblings could have had like a decent short life.

But I felt like it was my obligation to go and go and make this little kitty be an indoor cat. Oh my gosh. It's insanely cute. She's like playing and cuddling. Yeah. She's been in my lap this whole time. That thing that happened to you, Allie, where you, and I want to hear the whole story of finding the cat because I love this shit. Yeah.

Um, we, we talk a lot on the show about subreddits that we're into, subredits where we go to escape the world. Um, I had to get rid of R slash cats because, uh, you know, I'm like, oh, this is great. This is perfect for me. Uh, but it, R slash cats is so much of like, here's a slide show of my cat that just died. I'll never be happy again. There's a lot of like that. A lot of like, look at all the photo. Look at the timeline of my dead cat.

Can't do it. Can't do it. Had to unsubscribe. Is there also a major conflict between people who have indoor, outdoor cats and people who think that they're history's greatest monsters? Oh, I didn't catch any of that, but I'm sure it goes on. I'm sure that that is a raging debate in there. I looked up on Reddit one day where my dog was allowed to be off leash in Los Angeles. Because my dog pulls on the leash. He really doesn't like, he really doesn't like being on leash, but he's really good off leash. But like, not so good that he would be off leash walking down the sidewalk, right? Like, I'm not going to let him run into traffic or whatever.

But, like, I was like, there's got to be somewhere where he can kind of, where I can go for a hike where it's safe for him to be off leash. I'm like, there's got to be somewhere. Los Angeles is huge, you know. So I Google that because I had like a real gallery. Yeah, exactly. He wears little weights around his ankles and wrists. And goes with all his friends and their little windbreakers. It's nice that he's staying active.

Yeah. They stay inactive. I had like taken him because, you know, I had taken him up to my cabin and if I go for a hike and he's off leash there, he's just having the greatest time in the world. But he's so locked. in on me, because he's a golden retriever, he just wants to come and be with me. So he'll go out and have fun and then come right back and be like, look, I had fun, dad. And I'll be like, it's okay, you can have more fun. He'll be like, thanks, dad, you know. So I searched on...

And you encourage him to call you, dad. That's something you're, like, encouraging? Yeah, but it just as a sex thing. Oh, okay. I know that I'm not his father. Not daddy, just dad? Oh, yeah. Give it to me, dad. Tired. Daddy, wired, dad. Father. Papa. Yeah, give it to me, papa. Fuck me, papa.

Jordan Cowling is letting us know in the chat that that was too woke. That's true. That is true. Sorry for the woke moment. So I Googled, I googled like off leash hiking Los Angeles or something like that. Because if Los Angeles is nothing. That sounds like a sex thing, sorry. Okay.

Well, if Los Angeles is nothing, it's a city of hiking around with your dog, right? So I'm like, there's got to be someplace where it's okay for your dog to be off leash. The cavalcade of people accusing other people of being a monster. Oh, boy. Like, even in, apparently in state recreational areas, there's no leash. law like a dam like yeah exactly like Hurst Castle like Angelus National like the outskirts of Angeles National Forest Kenneth Hahn something like this so but then first of all if you do it on in a they're like there is a park Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles

where there is an off leash area but if you let your dog off leash there you're a monster because they're going to get bit by a rattlesnake and die. Oh, my God. According to Reddit. Yeah. Then there are a variety of, you know, trails and stuff where it's technically an on-leash area because everywhere in the city of Los Angeles is technically an on-leash area except for dog parks or whatever. But there's a lot of people, they say, oh, but a lot of people have their dogs off-leash on this trail or with that trail, right?

Those people are monsters because those loose dogs are going to murder the dogs that are on leash or vice versa. And then it was, yeah, the point in the story is everyone a monster who has ever let their dog off leash for any reason. And I just assumed that if not the indoor cat people being like, oh, if you let your cat outside, it's going to, get hit by a car, you monster. At the very least, the bird people would have infiltrated the cat subreddit. You know. I did have to get rid of R-slash cats, but the cat subreddit that is working for me, big time, is R-slash cat distribution system.

Yes. This is how I justified stealing the cat. Right. I think the premise of this is that if you don't have a cat, one will, like, find you or the universe will give you one. It's very fun. The cats are really cute. They're fun stories. But I, and you know, kind of the premise is like, I didn't, this cat just kind of came in. When you pan through the slideshows, there will always be a picture of that cat they just found lying with 10 other cats. So I think these people aren't just like finding them. They are people who are grabbing cats and yanking them inside. Anyway, but it's a cute premise. What is the system in the cat distribution system? I just think the idea is that, like, cats are like a public good or, you know, like water and power or something,

and that if you don't have one, one will just be given to you. I think for the most part, the people posting in this subreddit are cat hoarders. And they are not accidentally getting these cats. I have heard. And I mean, I don't mean to harsh your mouth because I know you like this. I've heard that the drivers in the cat distribution system don't have air conditioning and they have to pee in bottles because they can't take breaks. Oh, my gosh.

Is Jeff Bezos responsible? Yeah, perhaps. That's just what I've heard. Ali, how did you find Mia? Mia. Mia? Mia for now. Mia for now is my favorite Noah Bombok movie.

Yeah. There you go. Um, yeah, I had like a lot of ideas for like pop culture inspired cat names, but then you look at her face and you're like, I don't know. She just seems like a sweet little Mia. Um, Mia presented herself to me when I was on my normal walk through Frogtown that I take every single morning. And I'm always very like happily distracted by like squirrels and flowers or like that's the tiniest thing. I'm like, oh, look how cute. And then my drugs. and then my mind genuinely like split in two because there were like two kittens that just like Mia in the front of the line just that plopped out into the sidewalk

and then I was like oh my god two kittens and then I turned over and then there were four more and I was like oh my God and I was petting them and I saw that there was a woman came out who like kind of gave cat food to the cat they all kind of ran up to the yard and I asked like oh, are these your cats? And she kind of didn't really respond, but shook her head. And I was like, hmm, no. And I was like, okay. And then I saw a cat go under the gate of a different yard next door that has a big dog in it. And I was like, is it okay that the cat is going under where the big dog is?

And she's like, it's not my cats. And I was like, okay, that's enough for me. And I kind of just kept doing my walk around the neighborhood for the next couple of days to kind of see, like, do they have a home? Are they just waiting to get little callers? Like, is there an owner? Are they kind of just going through different little areas? And something that I noticed was this cat that I catnapt, really liked to, when a car would come, go into the street and kind of chase the car. So I did get the feeling of like, if I don't take this cat,

certainly someone else will have my idea. Or a car will have a very big. bad play date with it. So I decided to also let some people, I don't know if you guys are aware of like the, what's it called? It's like CNR, like, or are, I forget the, it's basically rescue neuter. Do not recess. Thank you. Uh-oh. It's CCR. As good as music gets. The last great band, if you ask me. But I think it's like trap, neuter release, TNR. That might make more sense. And, yeah, basically, a lot of cats end up being little, they get pretty short lives because they end up not getting fixed or neutered. And, you know, they end up, there are too many of them than resources tend to allow.

And so it's better to try and at least reduce the number of kittens that are most likely going to not make it. I personally think stealing is always okay for any reason, but especially a cat. Yeah. Good to steal. Yeah. I do like, I do, you know, I do live in a fantasy world where cat just distribution system happens to me. Yeah. I never thought it would, but it did. Yeah. You're, you can't, you can't have it all. Yeah. Just like the gals from sex in the city. Jordan, you should start smoking Virginia Slims. Yeah, I should. I should. They're so smooth. But I just don't think it would work with my cranky elderly cat. I just think it's too late in her life. Well, I have, I have an elderly cat who's 15 Faraday, my love of my life. And I'm having to do the, the very slow, tedious process of

introducing a young cat to an old cat. It is not going great, but I have high hopes. What are the steps? The steps are basically to separate the kittens or the cats into different rooms and to let main cat, whoever the cat was their first, kind of remain in control, let it know like, hey, this is still your place. Just kind of ignore that there's like a lot of like high-pitched meows in the other room. And a piss smell you don't like. And you basically will get different blankets or little objects that can kind of capture the scent of the cat, preferably not the piss scent. And you basically like swap the scent smell. So you'll like give a blanket that the kitten's been sleeping on to the older cat or

vice versa. Even if you kind of like can comb a cat and get it's like fur and kind of bring it over, you then want to slowly start like doing high value reward toys or treats in front of each other. So they have that association. Like gold bullion? Yes. A blue rainbow. player. Yeah, it's favorite criterion film. Hold on.

A 4K player. Wow, Roshamon. Thanks, Allie. Meow. Yeah. You got me Cat Woman?

Ironically, I hate that movie. But yeah, it's been slow going, but it just takes some time. I could tell that Big Cat

Faraday is very curious. And this will be nice for me because I used to have two cats, and Faraday's sister Ginsburg looks a lot like this new kitten, Mia, which is very sweet. And I think that Faraday's missed having a buddy because, yeah, having a best buddy all the time and then not having one, I feel like is, yeah, it's a little lonely for sweet old Faraday.

And maybe your kitty would like to have a friend, possibly. Introducing a kitten is way easier than introducing, like, an adult cat. Oh, really? Oh, interesting. I would think it would, for some reason, to me, it seems like that would be harder, but the same rules, I feel like the same rules of, like, old men dating applies to cats, of like, you want them young. They won't do the same age.

Lero DiCaprio rules, yeah, sure. DeCatrio. Jordan, do you think that the, you think that bug would cause problems for the kitten because the kitten would get jealous that it wasn't getting subcutaneous fluids? I think so. Yes. I think the kitten would be like, why don't you stab me with a needle every day and inject a saline solution under my skin? That's high value. That's so high value. Yeah, no. I wasn't going to admit that I'm jealous of that, but since you brought it up. I know. Tally, you have to drink so much. I know. Listen, Ali, call me when your kidneys get bad. And then we'll talk. She's working on it. I'm working on fucking up my kidney. Jesse, is there a dog version of this when you have to, like, introduce the new dog to the main dog?

Yeah. They just sniff butts, right? And then it's done? It's just, yeah. You kind of, you kind of, you want them to do it. You want them to meet in a neutral place. Switzerland. You always want them to meet.

Alley's was better. Go to ground works. Get a nice table outside. You want them to meet, like, down the street. eat and then go to your house together. And yeah, the other thing is that the high value treat thing. So whatever it might be, you know, like, you know, dogs love freeze-dried beef kidney or if you have a T-206 Honus Wagner baseball card.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I guess you'd have to have two because you have to have one for each of them. So bad news for you, Todd McFarlane. you've only got one. Yeah, you've got to kind of introduce them. And like, it can change. Like my two previous dogs, Coco and Sissy, got along very well for a long time. And then when Coco got old, Sissy turned into a total bitch.

I mean, she was a bitch the whole time, obviously, as a girl dog. But she turned into a real heel and just started picking on Coco. Because she realized she could be in charge now, even though she was, like, littler. And then they were like... Is that how Jordan gets whenever you get a bad cold or something? Oh, yeah, I turned into such a rascal. You can smell my... It's in everywhere.

Yeah, yeah. But with my current dogs, they're not buddies, but they generally don't care about each other. Except that my smaller dog, Mabel, who is named after the character from Gravity Falls. But still, that is named after the Simpsons thing. So it is still a Simpsons reference. There you go. By the transitive property. A phrase, I think I'm using correctly.

I think so, too. Don't let me know in the comments. I don't want to know from you, listener. It'll annoy me. Yes. My middle child, Scarlet, only watches Gravity Falls and has seen every episode something like 20 times. Okay. I mean, she does other things.

It's just the only television show she's willing to watch is Gravity Falls. She's going to clean up at like Gravity Falls bar trivia when she's, you know, 22. She's going to break Gravity Falls bar trivia. but because my younger, smaller dog is like best buddies with my wife, whereas my older, bigger, fatter, balder, dumber dog. Now, hold on, now hold on. It's a Simpsons thing. Uh-huh.

Just saying Simpsons thing. It doesn't count of the symptoms. Your older, balder, fatter son. We're out of port license plates. Oh, my son is also named Bored. My dog sort of is junior and Mabel is sort of my wife's dog. We didn't plan it that way. I planned for Junior to be everybody's dog,

which is why I picked a big family dog that would love everyone, but I'm the only one that took care of him. So he became my dog. And then my wife was sad that she didn't have a little dog to carry around. And so we got Mabel. So my wife carries Mabel around because Mabel is a little tiny Chihuahua dog. And because Mabel now only loves my wife, she gets pissed off Mabel does when Junior is around. And it seems like Teresa might pet Jr.

Like she's like, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck this. But she doesn't know how to do anything, and she's not aggressive. So what she will do is jump in the air and bark and then run around in a circle, like a little circle while going like that. Sounds cute. I like it. It's a pretty cute way to act up.

Yeah, it is a pretty cute way. If you're going to be bad, that's pretty good, you know? Yeah. So it changes with dogs. It's fungible with dogs. It's changeable. Allie, is the, are you, like, where do the cats, where are the cats sleeping for now? Faraday still has full reign of the house, and so he sticks to business as usual, which is,

he gets to use the car. He sleeps in a racing car. He, he sleeps with me in the bed. And I, my dream is for that to be the case with the little one, too. I just need to kind of work my way up to it. but she currently wouldn't that be a dream that's the dream and then more more fill the bed with cats deliver delivery system deliver unto me but so far she has to kind of sleep in her own little bed she sleeps in this

little cat bed behind it's very cute can I ask you guys a serious question sure if a cat sleeps like not tonally kind of what the show is but yeah if you want to just take a hard left. I won't answer it. If a cat sleeps in your bed, what happens when it's time to... Does that make you gay? Yes, Jesse.

The first gay happened when a cat slept in a man's bed. They sucked the breath out of a heterosexual. Right, yes. If a cat sleeps in your bed, what happens when it's time to hug and kiss a human friend? Yes. I mean, you can remove, you can remove the cat. The cat, my cat has started to become, you know, like,

we'll do, like, really pathetic meowing when she's somewhere she doesn't want to be. Yeah, I think she, you know, has just gotten very cranky and maybe, maybe is seeing some sort of ghost or spirit, beckoning her. Maybe she's just talking to her ancestors. Yeah, sure, yeah. I love those guys. Are you talking about like adult hugging and kissing?

Yeah, I'm talking about romantic. Hugging and kissing below the waist. Yeah, the old below the waist hug. You just take the cat out of the room. Yeah, cat leaves. Yeah, you maybe give them something to do out there, some treats. They don't like scratch at the door or something. They don't want to be in your bed when they're out there.

That could happen. Sure, that's absolutely something that could happen. Cats are so, in my experience, cats are so, like, even affectionate cuddly cats are very independent and, like, definitely can do their own thing for the five hours that you're making out

below the waist. Listen, you set up... Can I get your boyfriend's number? You just set up the, you set up the Sega Genesis for him in the living room. Exactly. Tell them they can order a pizza.

Yeah. It's one of those high-value treats that I got them. Yeah. Fire up this Fellini film. You get a magnet. You put 20 bucks on the fridge. You tell them they can order a pizza.

At my house, I had trained Junior, who we had for maybe, I guess we had Junior a year before we got Mabel. I had trained Junior to sleep in his crate. And, you know, you guys may or may not know, but like if you feed the dog in the crate and have it be a special place for them, They'll actually like being in there, generally speaking. Yeah. There's a little genesis in there. Yeah. And so I had junior all trained so that he would sleep in there and he wouldn't be in the bed.

And so it was all clear for all kinds of husband and wife activities, ranging from snuggling to et cetera. and then Teresa got Mabel and Mabel never got crate trained and Mabel is really little and cute and so Mabel just sleeps in our bed Oh that's got a piss off junior

Oh I thought you were going to say me Which the answer is yes I call you junior It means that I call him Scooter It means that my wife likes the dog better than me Which you know I mean great dog

But you also sleep in the bed, right? Yeah, I also sleep in the bed But the dog is who is being cuddled by the wife And the dog is not interested in cuddling with me And so there's sort of been two results of this One is that if activities, if conjugal activities are going to occur in my bed, one of the steps besides like, you know, whatever husbands and wives do before that happened, like brush your teeth or whatever.

Get married. Say a prayer to the Lord. We do take a moment to pray together. Thank you, Lord. Please bless our lovemaking. I say to my wife, you want to make out tonight? She says, let me pray on it. Yeah.

Dear God, help me blast super hard. But one of the steps that's involved... That's God. You got it, bro. Thanks, God. It's God playing guitar. It's like God is here, cranking it with us. Yes.

One of the steps of engaging... So say we all. One of the steps of engaging in couples' romance now, is my wife picks up Mabel and then tricks Mabel into going to sleep while cuddling with one of our children. So she'll like, one of our children will be asleep and Teresa will pick up Mabel and go and spend, like, it will take five, ten minutes to get this to happen for Mabel to settle down cuddling one of these sleeping children. And then Teresa has to, because again, Teresa is the preferred person, has to like sneak out once, like, we have to get the children to fall asleep and then get the dog to fall asleep with the children. And both times, Teresa has to sneak out of the room. This is just like when the Grinch is

like taking little candy canes out of the Cindy Lou's hands. And then we'll close and lock our door and then just sometimes we'll be kissing. And then you'll just, you'll just hear this and the sound of somebody trying to shove a Christmas tree up a chimney The other thing that happened is like as an only child who valued my alone time It took me a long time with my wife before I was cuddle oriented in bed sure like to me it was always like might as well have two beds because the rest of us were cuddling with our siblings or whatever i don't know uh but like my wife all you know when we were when we were first together my wife always wanted to cuddle and i was like i'm trying to go to sleep in my area

but then i found myself i'm reading magazines yeah longing longing for uh you know the intimacy of a nice cuddle with my beloved wife. So now sometimes I will like wake up in the middle of the night like, you know, maybe I had a bad dream and I want to roll over and put my arm around my wife. But I can't because there's a little tiny dog there. And so at this point, I have just, I have just decided, okay, if we're not going to hug and kiss on this evening, then my fucking 45-pound dog is just allowed on top of the bed and I'm going to fall asleep cuddling him.

So this is just a dog arms race? You guys are just getting bigger and bigger dogs and putting them in the bed. I'm like, the thing of it is, like, Teresa's. Fine, the monkey's got to sleep with us. Is that what you want? You want the monkey to sleep in the bed? It's going to fall off and knock its head.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the rhyme is any indication. That monkey is definitely going to get him to add. But the problem with me bringing Junior onto the bed to cuddle with, first of all, Junior, if I can get Junior to cuddle with me, it's the greatest. Like, this is the only thing that Junior is better at

than any of my past dogs. Like my other dog, my other special love dog Coco is better than Junior in every category, was better than Junior is in every category, except for cuddle. because Junior is big and you can like put your arms around him. Yeah, we'll get in there.

And it's so warm and cozy. However, invariably, he turns around so his nose faces the footboard of the bed and just puts his butt in my face. Yeah. Like, I just have to decide constantly if he's on the bed how comfortable I feel cuddling with his butt. Mm-hmm. Well, if you... What's the answer? Get rid of your hangups.

I mean, it's a little better than cuddling with his ding-dong, which is... Sure. Listen, you guys want to take a little break, cuddle with our ding-tongs, and then come back for some more? Always. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective.

Every episode of Jordan Jesse Go is supported by the members of Maximum Fun. If you're not a member, get in on it. Get in on the monthly bonus content we've been making, including our recaps of films and television programs that are about podcasting. Yes, podcast, movie, movie podcasts, and sometimes we talk about shows. Do you think this year, this month, I think we're going to do a Christmas movie, right? I think, yes. I think we're deciding it right now.

Okay, here to, yes. We're going to do a Christmas movie. Something, something that I noticed recently is that the world of like hallmark kind of cheapy Christmas movies have caught up to 2025 and they are including podcasting in their plot lines. So we're going to do it. We're going to find a nice hallmark, a nice cozy Christmas movie with podcasting and we're going to review it for you, but only if you go to maximum fun. dot org slash join. There are so many podcasts about Hallmark Christmas movies that are really cramping my ability to find a movie with podcasting. Yeah. Anyway, we're also supported this week by the folks over there at ORA Frame. Speaking of the holidays, Jordan. Speaking of the holidays, Jesse, I need the

perfect gift. Well, great news. Ora Frames are the perfect gift. They're a gift that I have given to my family members, much acclaim. Me too. And I'm talking about buying them with money from my own pie. I'm not talking about handing out freebies that ORA Frames gave me. I'm talking about buying them with my own discount code. That's, by the way, the promo

code, go. I've been using my own discount code to buy these for family members. They love them. You can shoot pictures right into these frames. All they have to do is set them up and connect them to their Wi-Fi. You can pre-fill them. You can fill them without even opening the box.

Oh yeah. Me and my sister love to fill my mom's aura frame with photos. My sister, of course, fills the frame with pictures of her beautiful children. I put in pictures of cool rocks, I see. So either way, Gail wins. Gail wins. Yes, these are a great gift. They're so fun. They're so easy to use. If you're looking for a gift, or a frame might be it for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com, a-u-r-a-frames.com. get $35 off or as best-selling Carver Matt Frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code go at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code go. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

Terms and conditions apply. We're also supported by the folks over there at Seoul. Take it from me, Jesse Thorne. The King of Drugs, it's great to eat drugs and get high with Soul. Yeah, Soul is a wellness brand that believes feeling good should be fun and easy. Jesse, these are THC Gummies and Sotas that taste great. They get you just the right amount of chilled out. You can get them in a variety of doses and some nice balances.

I like, I got some gummies, and I was like, I'm not going to get gummies to get like blazed. Right. I'm going to get some gummies with like enough THC that something's happening and then a lot of your CBD and so your other cannabinoids. Right. To keep me fucking chill and happy. So now I got these sort of like, I can't remember, it's like two, two or three milligrams of THC and then a shit ton of CBD in there. And it's a real nice to eat it at nighttime and just be, and just feel chill. Because as the lady one time at the fancy dispensary, he told me one time. She's like, the THC makes it stick.

Hmm. So you can get, you can get a gentle 1.5 milligram microdose and a 15 milligram gummy if you want an elevated experience, as they say. Yeah, that'll get fucking Rogan high. Oh, yeah. There's out-of-office gummies and the new out-of-office beverage. I really like these beverages. They taste good.

And it's a nice alternative to, like, having a cocktail at the end of the night. If you want to, like, you know, if you want to avoid the, you know, the, you know, negative parts about alcohol. Yeah, and I also want to say, it's obviously the holiday season if you need to get Joe Rogan holiday gift. Right. This is going to be perfect.

It would be perfect. No, get it for somebody you like. Or you, who we hope you like you too. Yeah, because we like you. And if you like Joe Rogan, work on yourself. Take advantage of Seoul's Black Friday, Cyber Monday deal now. For a limited time, get 40% off your entire order. Go to getsole.com.

the code J.J.Go. That's getsold.com promo code J.J. Go for 40% off. Don't miss their best deal of the year. Jordan, speaking of best deals of the year, you know I have to put this on shop to put this on shop. I do. I made a discount code for Jordan Jesse Go listeners and Jordan Jesse Go listeners only 10% off anything you buy if you use the code J.J. Go. I just posted a bunch of cool stuff. We were talking about that cool stuff I bought in Mexico because I brought it to the Comic-Con that we did here in Los Angeles. A lot of it, almost all of it, in fact, is up in the put-de-sons shop now. Just posted it, and you can use the code JJ Go to get 10% off of it.

I already sold the Godzilla poster. I was going to ask, do you still have the Mexican Godzilla poster? But I got a great Mexican Dracula poster. That's cool. El Vampiro, we're talking about. And I got some posters for a movie called El Poder Negro, which is Black Pover. It stars a Cuban weightlifter. Great.

That our friend Bucky Sinister told me all about. Amazing. I got some, oh, I got, I got some great, great Mexican movie poster shit. Also, you know, some fucking beautiful jewelry and stuff like that. And some Mexican true crime magazines, if that's what you're into. Okay. All of that is it put this on shop.com, and you can use that code, J.J. Go to get 10% off. Can I tell you?

Oh, wait, I want to tell you about the... We've got Dinosaurio. What's that? The Mexican movie. Cool. Then we got a dinosaur? We got La Vesta de la Noccia Amaria. Great.

The monster of the yellow night. We got Poder Negro, I already mentioned. Isla de los Dinosaurios. Dinosaur Island. We got Boris Karloff in Pesadilla Sangrienta. What's a Pesadilla? I don't know. Sangrienta means of blood or blood.

Bloody. We got Frankenstein El Vampiro and Campania. This is his girlfriend. Yep. And my favorite is Aventuras de las Hermannas X.

Wow. The ex-sisters. The ex-sisters. Here they come. They're having big adventures. They're having big adventures. Check out these ex-sisters. I'd love to meet them.

I know, right? All I put this on shop.com and use the code, JJGo for 10% off. You know what I think people should buy for fans of snake-face spacemen? What?

They should buy the full run of your Predator comics with your autographs on them. Jesse, you can do that and listen, I know we're throwing a lot of URLs at people. One more. Bit.ly slash cool fight.

We'll put these URLs in the... You can go on the show notes. Bit.ly slash cool fight. I am writing a Predator miniseries for the good folks at Marvel Comics. Does this have cool fights in it? Jesse, I don't think I said the premise

of this last week when I announced it. Well, there's a snake-face alien guy. Snake face. He's a predator. He's an honorable hunter. Yeah. Their species is the yautja. Okay. Yautja? Yeah. I can't believe I didn't know that. Yeah, the yautja. Okay. So the yautja, or predator, is there sometimes known.

It sounds like a group of people that use slingshots to kill Khabibar is. The different thing. The yautja? Okay. Go ahead. So the premise of this story, predator bloodshed, is that the predator gets loose. at an underground fighting tournament, much like the ones that happen in street fighter and mortal combat, but for legal reasons, aren't those. So it's The Predator meets Mortal Kombat.

I was listening to an interview with Guillermo del Toro about his new Frankenstein movie. And, you know, this is something he's been wanting to do his whole life. And he said, we are born to only sing one or two songs in our life. Yeah. I believe Predator Bloodshed is mine. This is the song I was born to sing.

It's got some, I'm getting some art back. It's really gorgeous. Roland Boshi and an unannounced artist are working on the book. I hope folks check it out. Ooh, I hope it's Gogan. It might be. Just wait and see. Check the comic book press.

Yes, you can pre-order it, put it on your poll list. Predator Bloodshick comes out February 25th. Or if you don't have a local comic shop, or you just want signed copies mailed to you, bit.ly slash cool fight. bit.ly slash cool fight. And they'll get each episode as it is released will be signed by you and sent to them. Yes, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go down there to Collectors Paradise in Pasadena. I'm going to sign all the books before they pop them in the mail.

So you, they ship anywhere in the world. So if you're like, well, I don't know if I can, they can, they can ship it to you. Bit.L.Y slash cool fight or pre-order at your local comic book shop. What are you going to do after? Go to Old Town and get some lunch? I might go to Old Town and grab some lunch. I might go to the Los California Tacos truck. That's a favorite down there.

A lot of good stuff. A lot of great options. A lot of great options in Old Town Pasadena. That's Oldtown Pasadena.com. Yep. You can find a business directory and, of course, the seasonal events. And the Doodah Parade. Don't forget to line up for the Doodah Parade now.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Ali Gertz, girl with a cat. She is. She's got a cat. Oh, the cat's licking the Diet Coke.

You can't get enough. You're a little addict like me. Yeah. He loves the sweet taste. And low calories. Oh, yeah. Well, it's Wasteline likes the low calories. Can I tell you something great? Yes.

So Maximumfund.org is moving into a new office right now. Exciting. We've been in Westlake on MacArthur Park for 15 years. Our next stop on our grand tour of Los Angeles is downtown Los Angeles, the Broadway Theater District. Ooh. And we're doing Oklahoma. Yeah.

Yeah, we, we have discussed on Jordan Jesse Go the like special nature of downtown Los Angeles, which is that it's sort of like the way that people describe Manhattan being in like the 40s or something where, you know, they're like, and then there was, and then there was people wheeling carts of carts full addresses and you could buy flowers on every corner. And all that kind of thing, you know? Yeah. And there was a Wurlitzer district. Extra, X-Reat. Read all about it? Yeah, pretty much. And everybody was playing stickball.

Like downtown Los Angeles is in many ways just like stuck in 1947. Like you can literally buy a fish bowl with a baby turtle in it. There's people doing three-card Monty, everything. but also updated in that much of it is vape-related. Right. But like, yeah. It's a guy selling apples out of a cart and Rick and Morty Bonds. Exactly.

So like every block in downtown Los Angeles is just full of mysteries that are unfurling before you, you know, like blossoms opening before your eyes. And this block that Maximum Fun is on, on South Broadway in downtown Los Angeles is a great one. It's mostly full of jewelers, like low-end jewelers. There's dozens of low-end jewelers.

There is also a sex store that just has the most enormous sex electric chair in the front window. So a high-end sex store. He hasn't done low-end in all, Jesse. It sounds positively swank. Well, that's the thing, like, part of the thing here is that the, the sex store, I was trying to describe the, like, what the sex store's deal is to my wife.

She hasn't had sex before, so it was hard. Sure. Really have to start at the beginning. When a man in a chair love each other very much. Like, you know the kind of sex store where it has, like, lingerie and, like, pink sequined curtains in the front window and maybe it also has like a display of like stripper heels and it's called like this is not a good vibration yeah called like our little secret okay it's not that sure it's not that oh okay okay then you know the good vibrations the pleasure chest

that your lesbian owned well lit looks like a bookstore uh like a high end philosophy bookstore or something might have a cat in it might have a cat in it a little hipster portlandia type yeah yeah it's also not that it seems to have very high quality products in it but it is a store that is well lit but almost without features so i would describe its merchandising as almost identical to the store that is a few stores down right next door to the new max fund office building which is a store that just sells designer fragrances directly out of the brown cardboard boxes that they're delivered in.

Okay. Like pile. You like if you imagine like piles like in a, like in the back room of a grocery store on a law and order where you're opening it with a box knife and then handing somebody polo cologne. It's that. But with like this kind of S&M board

where you're sort of like hog tied to it. Like it looks a little bit like that thing that they tie to your back to keep your back stationary when you've had a spinal injury. But instead... Oh, yeah, those are great. Those are great for fucking. Instead, you're tied to it.

I'm basing this on the mannequin that's just right there in the window. You're like tied to it sort of like on all fours like you were a human dog. This sounds like this is a very advanced store. This is not for casuals. Oh, that's what's so great about it.

It's like, it's just like a board game store where they laugh at you and you ask for Scrabble. Yes, that's exactly. what it is. That's exactly what it's like. And what's great is, it is the bare bonesist version of that that could possibly exist. Like, it is just, it is that and only that. Like, there's no. What more do you need? Right. You're being creepy. Like, there's no sex show in the back. There's no window treatments. There's no counter. Public restroom. Yeah, exactly.

You got to buy something. That sounds great. Yeah, maybe this is a future, you know, just thinking ahead to the max fun drive. Maybe, you know, maybe there's a, there's a kind of a tie-in opportunity. Maybe we do a live show from the chair. A tied in. Oh, sure. Tied up, tied in.

Anyway, we'll figure it out. Yeah. In the meantime, let's take some calls. Here's our first call. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, go. This is John from Connecticut calling in for your ongoing segment.

over scenes that are too risque for stop podcasting yourself. As Dave Shumka reminds us, spy is, quote, not that kind of podcast. So I'm calling in to let you know the most unintentionally funny farm stand sign I've ever seen. We're in the middle of fall here in New England, you know, pumpkins, apple picking, hay bales. Driving past a farm stand this weekend,

I saw a sign where they were promoting their chrysanthemums and hanging flower baskets, but all the sign said was mums hangers. Anyway, love you guys. Keep it up. Whoa, check out the hangers on Mom. I'd love to do some stereotypical fall activities. It's going to be in the 90s this week in Los Angeles. Yeah, I noticed that.

Perfect time for cider, apple bobbing. Yeah, you know, it be nice if they, they should do, you know, they should do a thing where they like, for L.A., where they like truck in fall leave. and we can all, like, fall back. Cold air. Yeah, cold air. Some of a truck full of cold air.

Bring it from Maine. One time on a school field trip when I was in middle school, it was like an overnight field trip. We went to, like, an apple picking place, and some of the kids bought unpasteurized apple cider. Mm-hmm. And you have to keep that, as it turns out, refrigerated. Right.

because the kids that I was sharing a hotel room with had some. They left it in the bathroom, closed, and overnight it exploded. Okay. And they didn't tell anyone. And in the end, we got in so much trouble that we had to go in front of the entire school and apologize for ruining their reputation. What? It's not your fault?

Yeah. Why did you get roped into this, Jesse? Because I was in their room with them. Did they not have a clever rhyme about the cider? It sounds like it wasn't your juice. I know. Boy, fucking trash and hotel rooms like a bunch of Axel Roses or something. With our cider.

But I could really go for some nice cider. You think Haas Apple Farm has some cider at the farmer's market right now, Jordan? Oh, good question. Yeah, Allie, I don't know how much farmer's market shopping you do. but there's a man named Ha who sells you apples and is mad at you. Oh, good. For buying his apples. He's so awesome.

The apples are great. The apples are awesome. Yeah. But the attitude is, he's a bad apple. Sure. Although I like the toad. I think the toad works for him. It kind of works with it.

I'm here. He has immense dignity. Yeah. No, he just doesn't, he's just not interested in false friendliness. Yeah. Like, you know, it seems like there's the. There's, like, the farmer's market experience that you, like, imagine of, like, a friendly farmer saying, like, here are my wares. That's what Jesse wants in the sex shop next to Max Fun.

Here is my wife who helped me pick the dildos. Why can't people just sell shit, Jesse? Thank you. It's got to be a big show. You want a song and dance? But no, Haas just been at it too long. He's very curt. He doesn't want to answer questions about the apples.

He has hand-lettered signs to do that. Read the hand-lettered sign if you want to know what kind of apple it is. Yeah, and I tried to, I asked him once if I could get a Haas Apple Farm hat because he had on the Haas Apple Farm hat. And he said, don't have more. The same thing they said to me at the sex shop. When I wanted to buy the apple hat. I have a very particular kink.

You can send us a voice memo at JJGo at maximum fun.org. And you know what? If you just want to send us in calls that you would have called in to another better podcast, but they're a little too blue, fine. Fuck it. Oh, yeah. We're getting other people's calls now. Do you think everybody,

do you think everybody who listens to Jordan Jesse Go already listens to stop podcasting yourself? I think there's probably a pretty big overlap, yeah. I mean, I guess maybe it's not as big as we would think, because if they were already listening to stop podcasting yourself, why would they keep listening to Jordan Jessica? You know what? Let's just open this up.

This is, I'm making this official. 206-984 for fun. Give us a call and ask us a question you would ask another podcast. If you can't get through to the flop house, we will answer your questions about Gialo films. You want us to rank chain restaurant French fries. You can't get through to the dough boys. We'll do it.

Let's take one more call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to guess Alvira, Mistress of the Dark. This is Matthew calling in from New Jersey for your long-running segment Heathcliff News. I wanted to report that I went into a local art gallery in Asbury Park, where they're having a Heathcliff exhibit and among other things there was a comic showing Heathcliff

walking into a deli several ghosts flying out of that deli and then Heathcliff coming out with a ham and the caption says he orders the haunted ham love you take care, bye love you too

Ali are you aware of how weird Heathcliff is now? I feel like I was going to say, I feel like someone was telling me about this, but it has to have been you, right? Yeah, probably. I mean, it's not a ton of other people. I mean, you know, yeah, maybe.

It's a short list. It's a short list. I have heard it. It's come across my desk, but I haven't retained, like, what's going on with Heathcliff lately? Well, like, yeah. For example, there's a there's a Heathcliff

that just got published and it's two ladies in the window or in the doorway of a yoga studio and the window says gangster yoga and then Heathcliff

and I guess this must be Heathcliff's brother or something but he's wearing a striped shirt and hat are walking out with their yoga mats and then one of the ladies

in the doorway is saying it's catching on. I love it. I'll do another one. I'll do another one. I'll do another one. I happen to have a collection

of Heathcliff comics open in front of me. It's Heathcliff and like a construction worker. They're sitting on a girder. They're opening their metal like working guy lunch boxes. construction guy is eating a sandwich. Heathcliff's sandwich has sprouted wings and is flying around.

And the caption is, I prefer a whole wheat bread. Not flying bread? I guess. Heathcliff has gone from, you know, like yuck yuck, you know, Sunday comic strip that, you know, somebody at the bank tapes up in their window. and it is just this like adult swim-esque dadaist nightmare and it is both hilarious and baffling and infuriating all at the same time. The one that I'm looking at right now, and this would be the final Heathcliff that we just describe instead of hosting a podcast. No, no, this is the show. Is two like 1950s style ladies sitting in their living room, although this living room has no features other than two chairs.

they could just be sitting in two chairs in the middle of an otherwise empty room like maybe what that sex store was four days ago before the sex stuff moved in. But it's two ladies. And then Heathcliff has just entered the room and he has an air horn and he's blasting the air horn. You can tell because there's a speech bubble going to the air horn that just has a single giant musical note. And one of the ladies who's sitting in the chairs is like jumping up in the air like, I got surprised by the thing, right? Yeah. The other lady is saying to the jumping lady,

he uses the air horn when he's happy. I'm just glad Heathcliff's happy, you know? Anyway, me too. He deserves it. The other day I was on Instagram at Jesse Thorne, very famous, at Jordan David Morris, at Jordan Jesse GoPod. And Heathcliff went live.

Okay. And I was so excited. I guess I'm realizing now that I'm not following Heathcliff and your life was about to get 30% better, Jordan. I mean, you should see the thirst traps in the sky posts. But anyway, I see. And then just some stuff about Palestine and it's kind of a bummer. Your face went white when you realized you weren't following Heathcliff.

Heathcliff went live. And so I'm like, I got to see what fucking going on. Yeah. It was just a camera pointed at what I think must be the creator of Heathcliff. Maybe he was in this Heathcliff art exhibit that the caller called in about. Now, was he wearing a Napoleon hat and in a straight jacket going, he would bring a very normal like 58 year old man okay uh he was like signing something and all i wanted in the world was to know where i could go to meet the man that makes heathcliff there was no information

there was no sound was just you know vague party sound it looked like he could have been in any like Etsy ass fucking crafts market indoors in the world. Yeah. You know, just like people selling shrinky dinks they made or whatever. And he's in the middle signing something. God, all I wanted was to have to buy an original Heathcliff cartoon from this man or something. Anyway. One day.

One day. Someday, Jesse. I believe it. I believe you. 206. 984-4-fund or JJGo at maximum fun. for your voice memos. We'll be back in just a second

on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hello. Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. No, no, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye. It's a multi-award-winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long. I don't know what a Josie Long is,

and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get her shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones.

I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I? Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast... Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, Mother. This is a musical theatre, not a Parisian Bordello. Simply go to maximum fun.org. I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak.

Mother! Mother, not that hat! Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries is a weekly pop culture history podcast hosted by me, host Austin. And me, host Brenda. We've already tackled mysteries such as what happened to the puppets from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, a Snoopy Mexican, and why do people hate Barney so much? From theme parks to cartoons to 80s, 90s, and 2000s nostalgia, we tackle it all.

Check us out every Tuesday on maximum fun.org and wherever you get podcasts. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Forne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Allie Gert's girl with a cat. Should we be naming Allie's cat by listener Colleen? Yes. Yeah, I mean, me is good.

But it could be better. It could be better. It could be better. Now, let me give you some things that could help influence the name. Please describe the cat. So she, yeah, so she looks like a little, like Reese's peanut butter cup. Like she's chocolatey. She's peanut buttery.

She's got some, you know, little creamy white boots. A fun little thing that she does is it, when she's resting on her back, she kind of does biscuits in the air, which kind of looks like she's casting a spell on you. Or swimming. So we could come up with some swimming. names, some famous swimmers, some magician names. She'll name her. First and last only. Yeah, she needs a last name too.

It's just the same as a guy's last name. But, yeah, I'm very open to names. And they could be any gender. My last cat was Ginsburg, which, you know, that was a little lady cat. And she was named after Alan Ginsburg. but obviously people could also think it was Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And Faraday is...

I assume that she was named after Kennedy from MTV. Exactly right. Yeah, we'll open up the phone lines. 206, 984 for fun. Yeah, do you have a debate you want Mark and Howl to settle or have a name for Allie's Cat? We take other podcast calls and names for Allie's Cat. can be aquatic, yeah. If you have a name for Allie's cat, I'm going to need to hear the reasoning.

Keep it tight. But why are you suggesting this name? What's so great about this fucking name that you're suggesting? But call into someone else's show to say what my cat should be named. He'll think this is more a complicated. It's a complex game of telephone. Allie, you got any new things on the Internet that people can check? You got that nine-inch nails album in people's Spotify's and Apple Musics and so forth.

Yeah, right now I've just been slowly finishing my Kickstarter rewards that I'm like a year late on. So if I owe you a Kickstarter reward, know that that's coming. Because I unfortunately have to do that part before I could really kick into gear with my They Might Be Giants cover album, which is still something that I am very excited to do. But we'll take some time. So for now, we're just chilling out with the cat and the cat names. And, you know, being inspired by they might be giants. Beautiful. Mm-hmm.

The 9-inch Nails cover album is really great. Thanks. I love throwing it on. The videos are awesome. Thank you. You directed and edited the videos yourself, right? Yeah, I edited them. And then I co-directed all three of them with L. Schneider on Ruiner and Closer.

And then Ben Trandum on March of the Pigs. And, yeah, I learned I love directing and making music videos. So there will definitely be a lot more of that stuff, too, either to the nine-inch nails or just future upcoming things as well. I can't stand it. I just have Michelle Gondry. They direct all my music videos. He did direct my favorite flight of the Concord's video.

Carol Brown takes the bus out of town. So good. So that's what I'll plug. A 15-year-old flight of the Concord's music video. Yeah, you guys want to see. a great Chibo Motto video, Michelle Gondry's got a They were a Japanese two-girl rap group that only made songs about food, basically.

Okay, okay. Anyway, they did have a good Michelle Gondry video. That sounds like something that would have happened around that time. Jordan Cowling is the producer of our program. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design. Thanks to the free design. and thanks to their label Light in the Attic Industries.

You can find us on social media at Jordan David Morrison at Jesse Thorne, very famous on Instagram, as well as Jordan Jesse Go Pod on Instagram. Jordan Jesse Go on Blue Sky. Jordan, I logged into my fucking Blue Sky account. I'm Jesse Thorne on Blue Sky. Wow. I know.

It's going to go wild over there. What are you posting up there? What can people see? I mean, you know, just like, just responding to different stuff that made me feel bad. Cool. Just pushing breaches. Cool, yeah, nice. All right.

It's kind of business as usual on the internet. Yeah, it's really cool and fun. Maybe I'll think of a joke sometime. The part of my brain that thinks of a little joke to write has withered away and died in the time since I left Twitter. But maybe it will revive in time for it. me to use it on blue sky. Ooh, perhaps. So go follow me on blue sky at Jesse Thorne.

Jordan, you're also on blue sky a little bit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I am. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am. So go holler at Jordan on blue sky. Holler at me on blue sky. We're having fun.

Join us on Reddit. Reddit.com slash R slash maximum fun. And we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum Fun. A Worker Owned Network of Artist-owned shows.

Supported directly by you.