Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Horoscopes Are Back with Aya Cash

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

Aya Cash joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about their first CDs, being an elf at a  Mannheim Steamroller concert and Aya's memories of Jesse from high school.Check out Aya's new show " Welcome to Flatch" on Fox and Hulu!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Hanover Bean Boy Stan. Okay, so let's talk about the Hanover Bean Boy. I don't know what that is. He certainly sounds musical. Tell me a little more about him. Well, I think loyal listeners will know that my diet includes a lot of beans. I think literally anyone sharing a room with me knows that my diet includes a lot of beans. And I

had a, you know, kind of a difficult, you know difficult moral issue come up with my bean purchasing maybe about a year ago when my preferred brand of bean, Goya, it was revealed that the Goya Corporation was donating money to some causes that I didn't agree with. Right. Saving the whales. I mean, come on, right? No, how the fuck am I supposed to run my lamps? Thank you. What am I supposed to carve my scrimshaw into? You know how important cribbage is to me. Thank you. Nah, some shitty right wing shit. Anyway, so, you know, I'm looking for a new bean brand. And it's hard because if you're looking for a moral bean brand. Yeah. First of all, the free range label means almost nothing. Sure. Come to find out. Right. Yeah. No, these beans are all in tiny bean cages. It's horrible. They cut the beaks

right off the beans. Force fed pate. Yeah. You know, of course I like looked to Bush's, but of course I heard that Bush's did 9-11. So that was out. That's what I've heard. I've heard. Yeah. I inferred it. The pieces weren't adding up.

There's a YouTube link I want you to watch. Nice woman at the flea market the other day. I'm buying some jewelry from her. She just happens to mention to the other person who's standing. She says, I don't believe in global warming. The science just isn't believe in global warming. The science just isn't there. Fair enough. I bet in the flea market scene, you run across some fun opinions. Yeah. Let's say it's an autodidactic community. People are doing their own reading. Go ahead,

Jordan. Right. Yeah. So, you know, I've been using a store brand of bean for a while. It's been okay. It really hasn't been my thing. Is it the one the president would choose? Right. The president's choice. It is Dr. Star. Okay. I think it's supposed to remind you of Dr. Pepper. Yeah.

But it's beans. I don't know. The whole thing's confusing. But then the other day I saw, staring back at me from the bean shelf, the bean boy of my dreams, Hanover, a brand I was not familiar with. And I dropped in the chat the mascot of the Hanover Food Corporation. Okay, I'm opening up this little beanie boy. You want to take a look at this guy? You want to take a look at this fucking fly ass confident as fuck speaking of fucks he doesn't give any look at this bean boy first of all i want to note that you shared with me you know sometimes someone will share an image file directly. You shared with me a search engine image search. Yes.

And this top photograph of the Bean Boy appears to be from his LinkedIn page. Right. Yeah. So if you want to network. He has an OnlyFans. He's endorsed for Bean. Mm-hmm. Okay.

So let's talk about. Yeah. Maybe you can describe this. let's talk about this little beanie buddy he's got a big flat straw hat like a quaker hat and he's got what can only be described as a knife haircut like a haircut that was cut with a bowie knife or something. Right. Bowie knife? Bowie knife, maybe. How would you describe that knife? I think that it's a knife that kind of plays with ideas of gender.

Right. The bean boy is, to some extent, GNC, I would say. The rosiness of his cheeks cannot be natural. So he's kind of playing with people's expectations about traditional bean masculinity. Right. He's wearing little suspendees. So I think it's fair to assume that he's like, what would you say, like a mod, a skinhead? Right. You have to look at the colors of the laces on his boots right to tell if he's the good kind of skinhead or the bad kind of skinhead it was confusing when you started going to punk shows anyway i'm taking

a look at his sweet little puss and i think this i think this is the good this is an anti-racist skinhead this is an anti-racist skinhead a real working class he's also an anti-skinheadedness skinhead with these yeah and i think i think i am jesse correct me if i'm wrong but the expression on his face would you agree with me that it is little stinker yeah i would say if he's asking a question here with his eyes and his little rosy cheeks and his little lippies, he's asking, ain't I? Ain't I? You know I am. Ain't I? You know I am.

You love me anyway with my sweet, juicy beans. Yeah. If I finish my beans, can I have a candy? I love this little motherfucker so much. And I love his beans. The beans are great, by the way. Nana lets me eat as many beans as I want. One more story before bed.

One more. One more story before bed, please. All right. Now I regret even bringing this up. I don't know. I'm just making bean noises. Try as I might. I was hoping that this bean boy had a like a backstory. Could not find any information on this fucking stud. This bean stud, which was disappointing because, you know, and I'm sure there's like a whole Wikipedia entry for, you know, Toucan Sam and, you know, Cap'n Crunch.

But yeah, I mean, I think I just wanted to know the history of this bean boy. And I think the headcanon that I came up with is that he's kind of a like Stephen King child and can start fires with his mind. That seems about right. And he took control of the bean factory through fear. Like he created a living nightmare for the previous owner of the bean factory through fear like he created a living nightmare for the previous owner of the bean factory right maybe the bean man or the bean couple who owned the factory previously picked him up at the side of the road because he looked lost right exactly but he had just killed his previous family with fire from his mind i mean i wouldn't imagine that he immolated the bean couple immediately

no he like presumption would be terrorized them for a while yeah well he initially integrated himself deeply into their lives to the point where they were you know they were working with social services to try and get the appropriate paperwork and so forth. But yeah, I would say drip, drop, drip, drop, the madness creeped in until ultimately they were immolated. But again, this is not through any official source. This is just my head canon. So, you know. And again, those are drip drops of fire, not water. A lot of drip drops are water. These ones are flames. Liquid fire. Yeah, sure. So, you know, I just, I want, you know, we'll put out a photo of the Hanover bean boy on all our social media. And I just want to hear from listeners, what mind powers do you think he

possesses? Yeah, that's great. I'd love to hear a little bit more narrative about the bean boy that i don't already know i think one possibility and i'm throwing this out there is he's not acting alone he's fucking the girl from the utz potato chips bags okay so so they're both are they do they both have the jack disease where they're actually adults, Jesse? Oh, yeah. No, 100%. No, they are. Either they have the Jack disease or they're shapeshifters. That's true.

I would say they take the form of adorable children in order to ingratiate themselves into the homes of snack empresarios or empresaria. Would you call a bean a snack? I mean, I'm snacking on some beans right now, baby. Wow. You've never roasted a garbanzo in your toaster oven, my friend? I guess not. Add a little prime rib seasoning. That's a high protein treat. That's spectacularly good. Our guest on the program wandering away, by the way, just as I was about to introduce her. Regretting her choice to be on the program wandering away, by the way, just as I was about to introduce her. Regretting her choice to be on the show. Why don't we introduce her?

She's one of the stars of the super funny Fox television program, Welcome to Flatch. You might know her from her years-long acclaimed run on You're the Worst on FX. You might know her from feature films, from other television work. You might know her from going to my wife's parents' house one time in high school. And my father-in-law remembered that he had to clean up after her a lot. Aya Cash is our guest.

Wow. Wow. I'm just, look, I'm just spitting straight facts. Shots fired. He said he had to pick up your shirts behind, but you left a trail of flannels behind you. I mean, I have no memory of this, but it tracks. I'm a mess. That's how 90s kids found our way around.

We were going into the woods. We left a trail of flannels. And chokers. Yeah. Onks. And green jelly CDs. And now those shirts are worth $350 ungrailed. Yeah.

You know what people love to buy secondhand is like a NASCARar shirt or like like a dale earnhardt shirt or like a shirt with the camel cigarettes camel on it like one of the primary lanes of 90s retro fashion buying is just the most disgusting shit of our teenage years Just something that a gross uncle would wear. Those are the most popular things to buy at a vintage store from 1996, other than Sade t-shirts. Sade t-shirts, which I support unequivocally. By the way, my first CD player was a camel branded CD player because I collected the camel bucks from my mom's boyfriend who smoked in order, you know.

If mom's boyfriends are good for anything, it's Camel Bucks. Oh, yeah. I feel like half my wardrobe was Camel Bucks. All right. Let's talk about that Camel Bucks CD player. What was in it at the time? First CD player, first couple discs. What are you getting? My first CD was, I think, I can't remember if it was Lauryn Hill's first album or if it was a Fuji's album. Lauryn Hill was involved. I know that much. First of all, that's too high credibility. We're going to want to hear something more embarrassing. Oh, there's plenty embarrassing. At the very minimum, we want to hear Arrested Development. But also, you got to think CDs. I didn't get a CD player

till I was 16. So I had already culled my taste in order to be, you know, interesting and cool to boys. So I was already developed in that area. But all the, it's funny because I just did Bullseye. I talked a lot about music, I feel like most of the music that I would have been embarrassed by, then I am no longer embarrassed by. So yeah, I you know what, I was in a store the other day, Arrested Development was not my first CD, but it was among my first CDs. My first CD was Dangerous, Michael Jackson. But I spent a long time being kind of embarrassed that when I was 12 or 13, I listened to that Arrested Development CD so many times. And I really focused on the fact that like 18 months later, I got the second Diggable Planets album

and listened to that over and over. And that remains one of my favorite records. But other than occasionally prompting someone to say a game of horseshoes by saying a game of horseshoes and then say a game of horseshoes, I hadn't really listened to Arrested Development since I was 15. And I was in a store the other day and they played Tennessee, the great Arrested Development hit on the stereo. And I was like, oh, I think I still like this. Oh, no, I'm as corny as advertised because I think I actually just really like the Arrested Development song, Tennessee. I think I still know most of the words to Montel Jordan's, this is how we do it. Oh, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with how we do it. I'm just saying.

Jordan, what was your first CD? Boy, yeah, that's one where I can't quite put my finger on it, but I could probably tell you the first three one of them was hold on did you have a cd like did your mom or dad have a cd player in like the stereo or were you the first cd person in the family i was yeah first cd player in the house so yeah i had a tape collection i had a pretty big tape collection i think like you jesse i think probably one of my first tapes was michael jackson dangerous yeah so yeah that was one of the like, I like a song because I saw the video after it premiered during an episode of The Simpsons. Yeah. I mean, that's how we all came to discover the joy of popular music.

Sure. Yeah. Was through Magic Johnson dancing. I guess. Yeah. So yeah, I already had a little tape collection and then yeah, like 13, 14, maybe I wanted a, I wanted a disc man with skip protection. Oh wow. Cause I was a big skipper. I skipped everywhere I went. Yeah. And you were really fucking people up with that. Yeah. Super popular. They called me Barbie's sister cause I was a skipper. Right. Thank you. I guess they called me barbie's sister because i was a skipper right thank you i guess they called me

gilligan because i was your friend's friend yeah you guys just made the same joke at the same time hey if there's another skipper joke we could have made i want i want to hear it there's not a lot of options something about a baseball manager yeah it might have worked anyway but yeah i think my my first couple were and yeah and i think you guys tried to play embarrassing but you couldn't do it too credible i think i got you the ace ventura soundtrack oh yeah now we're talking because yeah i know like oh i'm so embarrassed oh look at my but like and then you say a really like credible thing that everyone likes first of of all, Arrested Development is not credible.

Are they not? I brought up Diggable Planets. Come on. No, not in the slightest. I brought up Diggable Planets to rescue myself. There's no doubt about that. Right. The only person here who listed credible records is Aya, who listed two highly credible records

in order to obscure, I guess, probably just the Empire Records soundtrack or whatever it was. I'm not embarrassed at all by that. So that's the difference. What's there some hits on the Empire Records soundtrack? Really need it, got to have it to get by, sugar high. Come on, that's a great, they have GWAR on there? Yeah, you know, I think there might be some GWAR on the Ace Ventura soundtrack too. Really? Yeah. Oh, you know, it might have been cannibal corpse what was guar up to that they were

i mean obviously they were wearing monster outfits and playing metal music but like what was guar's cultural impact circuit was it like because i had no idea i would have had no idea who guar was in 1994 yeah was it similar to like the george clinton revival of 1994 the guar thing in the early yeah i think so i mean i think i think part of it is you know our generation i think a lot of our music came from movie soundtracks right? Like there's the couple that everybody had, you know, everybody had the big CD wallet. You could probably count on Romeo plus Juliet being in there. I certainly had the Pulp Fiction soundtrack. Pulp Fiction soundtrack. Yep. Absolutely. And I think there's just like, maybe if you need, if you need a theatrical band to be

in your movie for one scene, so you can have a good soundtrack, you're going to pick George Clinton slash Parliament or GWAR. Do you think that GWAR didn't show up one day and that's why George Clinton's in PCU? Like originally that was going to be a GWAR-based movie. Right. Yeah. Like who can we get that also says they're from space? Who can we get whose backstory includes being from space? David Bowie has moved on. Right. Hey, I think the audience would like to hear from Maya Cash what her memories of Jesse Thorne in high school are. And Maya is my alternative name that i use for strangers oh i heard maya oh sorry i'll take all i was too busy uh thinking of people who would have

been on a soundtrack in the 90s i have for context i alluded to it but you already want to preface my my my interpretation of you aya was was a graduate of San Francisco School of the Arts, where I went to high school. She was one year behind me, Aya, I think. One or two. Yeah. And was also friendly with my wife, Teresa. We were all in the theater department together. I mean, the good news, Jordan, here, and I'll let Aya speak in a second, is that I definitely didn't do anything embarrassing in high school. I was kind of like one of the cool crowd known for being, and this might have been local slang in San Francisco, but chillaxed. I was known for how chill I was and not extra.

That would be hella chillaxed. Yeah, I was hella chillaxed yeah it was hella chillaxed i'm very confident that i was embarrassing in high school i mean we've already established that i was a mess i so jesse and i weren't uh good friends by any means but friendly i think i said this to you last time I saw you, which is that Jesse actually sort of called me out on being mean once. And it really stuck with me. I was like to some girl, I said, why are you wearing two shirts? Are you cold? Because she had like a tank top over her. Whoa, savage.

Her t-shirt. And Jesse was like, kids can be so mean. It's so cruel. Jesse was like, maybe it's because, you know, it looks good on her. And I was like, kids can be so mean. It's so cruel. Jesse was like, maybe it's because, you know, it looks good on her. And I was like, oh, I just like said something to like have an opinion and like feel cool. And Jesse sort of just subtly was like, nah. And I really liked that because I like to be, you know, talked down to. No, I really appreciate it. Later, we got into fin dom or financial domination where she gave me all the passwords to all her bank accounts. Still has them. Jesse, may I? No, Jesse was, I was describing you the other day, actually. I was like, oh, I'm going on this guy's podcast who I went to high

school with. I was like, we weren't really friends, but I think that's because I was really into drugs and he wasn't. Like, I don't know you're into drugs. Like, I felt my interpretation of Jesse in high school was we were all trying to be other and artsy in some way. So that we had in common. I feel like Jesse wore a lot of suits and ties and very dapper in a sort of winking way. A little Paul Feige. Tie it back to the show, Aya. I work for Paul Feige right now.

Talk about flash. You haven't talked about flash. Welcome to flash. Talk about the flash. This is promotion. And now I'm doing GWAR. Feig is actually texting us right now. And it's just whole blocks of the word FLATCH in capital letters.

The new GWAR song. Welcome to FLATCH. FLATCH is what we call cum. I'm going to Flatch. The story of Welcome to Flatch, for folks who haven't seen it, like the context for the sitcom, is that Aya is in a small town and she's a monster from outer space who's blasting jizz all over everywhere. Family friendly. PG. PG. monster from outer space who's blasting jizz all over everywhere family friendly pg pg there's a sort of nice will they won't they watch it with the kids it's a mockumentary so the cum is blurred the co-viewing show co-viewing but i thought i thought you were kind of cool in that way that

like when we watch high school movies like that's's actually the cool kid, you know, like if, if you do the movie of our school, you were the one who was like a little smarter, a little more together than everybody else who like maybe wasn't appreciated in the moment by the druggie kids, which is where I was, but like admiration for that. And I remember you being very into music. I would be intimidated by your musical knowledge. So I mean, I knew all the lyrics to Tennessee and Mr. Wendell. I was a regular Baba OJ. No idea who that is. The old man that was inexplicably in Arrested Development. It was like 12 people. You weren't really sure what any of them except the main guy's speech did, but one of them was just an old man who was there for his wisdom. Right.

If it's not like a painful, horrible story that you don't want to recount, what was your high school drug doing like? Oh, boy. don't want to recount, what was your high school drug doing like? Wait a minute. Yes, this is what we want. This is what we want. Daniel, pump up the tears. So you might just be acting, Jordan. She's an actor. I'm so talented. My drug years were fantastic. I actually feel like I'm so happy. I'm so not that person anymore. I feel so glad that I did crazy shit that would have gotten me in trouble. My best friend actually said to me recently, she was visiting and she like started tearing up. She was like, I got you involved in some dangerous situations as a kid. And I've always felt like I need to apologize. I was like, oh, thank you. It was amazing. We had

so much fun. You're like, I do knife tricks all the time now. Yeah. A little Russian roulette, a little. No, it was. I met my husband doing blood sport. I don't know what that is. I'm just laughing uncomfortably. You know, it's like a Jean-Claude Van Damme situation. Oh, got it. Got it. But yeah, I had a good time. A lot of psychedelics, a lot of what the young people call Molly, which I think is E, but I'm not totally sure it's the exact same thing. Yeah, they're about the same is it like a camel and a dromedary that's my feeling about about e and molly it's like a camel and a dromedary they're

they're adjacent or like an asian elephant an african elephant i think yeah i think yes speed yeah i think speed is the the difference maybe yeah ecstasy is, or Molly is less strong than ecstasy, is my understanding. Okay. Where does it, I guess I was a non-drug teen. I think it was a combination of like a little bit of religious fear, a little bit of regular fear,

but also just like basically no one ever offered me drugs. Like it never really happened. Where does a drug teen get them? By dating the drug dealer. That was my mistake. I should have been dating Chad. Jesse probably knows who I'm talking about. He told me one time about boxing.

I was like, how can you box? He was an amateur boxer. And I was like, how can you box? It sounds awful. There's so many other things you could do. You just do sit-ups or whatever. And he looks at me almost pityingly, this young man, sweet young man, look at me almost pityingly and said,

only the first punch hurts. That sounds like something he would say. I was like, all right, fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah, I think we should not get too into it. Let's just say at School of the Arts in San Francisco, not a lot of amateur boxers who aspired to be firemen, but were at the time drug dealers.

That was a small community, a small set of Venn diagrams at San Francisco School of the Arts. He was also the captain of the wrestling team for another school, even though, because we didn't have sports at our- He's a real high achiever. He owns a business, drug dealing. Plays a sport at a school he doesn't go to. The real answer to your question, Jordan. And now he's my husband. Mitt Romney. I happen to be married to my girlfriend from that high school.

Wait, I want to know if my interpretation of you was remotely from it like did you do drugs were you I was doing I was on horse yeah I mean I was strung the fuck out when you recorded your best jazz albums I was stealing from my nana to buy junk you know that was I had to look for new places to shoot up no I mean I was just as terrified as Jordan about almost anything and I didn't really have it together. I mean, that's the other thing. Like I, I think at our high school, there were so many fuck ups. Yeah. Different kinds of fuck ups that my particular brand of fuck upery, which involved never doing any homework and barely getting, you know, a B minus average in a school where literally showing up gave you a C plus average. That was my,

my primary mode of fuck uppery, but yeah, I didn't have any fun or anything. I didn't do anything cool or interesting other than Teresa, other than little shop of hearts. Other than Teresa, other than little shop of horrors. Yeah, that's true. Oh yeah. I did have a few cute girlfriends culminating in the perfect wife, but, but that was about the only success that I achieved. I mean, like Jordan, one of the, the reality of our high school is this, our high school was full of really talented people in a variety of fields.

You know, like there were really gifted painters, really incredible singers and musicians. Like lots of people went on to, people went to Juilliard and, and RISD and all those kinds of places. You know what I mean? And then there were other people such as myself who just like had it together enough to pass an audition when they were 13 like a certain set of whatever the field was just a certain set of projecting competence that could slide you in in the theater department it was very important that I was a dude. Like they had to get something like, there was always more girls than boys, but like they had to have something like gender parity. And there's just a real shortage of dudes that are auditioning

for theater school at 14 and or 13. So the like, the real thing that was going on was Aya was talented and I was not. That's the real, like there were some really talented people at our school, you know, like there are people who are not professional actors now who I know were really talented. But yeah, that Aya was good. I mean, she, don't get me wrong. Was she standing? Wait, there's a lot of really talented people who didn't make it in this industry. And Aya was good. She was fine. Yeah, I mean.

She was fine and she made it. And that is the story of Hollywood. I mean, would you even say that you made it? Let's be frank. Excuse me. I am no longer a waitress. I has made it to an extraordinary extent, but like truly there were people like Aya who were there because they were talented. And there were people like me who were there because they knew they'd get their ass beat

every single day at the high school by their house. That's why I actually auditioned for acting. My mom was like, you're going to get the shit kicked out of you because you're so small. So go to the arts high school. What do you want to do? Yeah, I was very small and somewhat sullen, I would say. Those are definitely, not always sullen, sometimes bubbly, but often sullen. I want to hear from Aya. And I like, I always like, you know, when we talk to somebody who was involved in high school theater, what your like, what your big roles were in high school? What were your big triumphs on the stage, on the school auditorium boards? I don't remember doing a single actual play.

I remember Jesse actually in, not Mother Courage, a Brecht play. Oh, the Three Penny Opera. Three Penny Opera. I remember Jesse in that. And I remember seeing that play and being like, theater's amazing. I'm thinking that, but I don't remember being in any. I am transformed. I am transformed.

And I think I remember Little Shop as well. I don't remember being in anything. I remember the Shakespeare competitions. And I remember doing a monologue from Midsummer Night's Dream, thinking I was doing a drama. And everyone started laughing. And I didn't know that I was being funny. And I was like, that was a real revelation. I was like, oh. Had you just memorized it phonetically, like Gerard Depardieu in My Stepfather the Hero? Basically.

And also great movie. My Father the Hero? Maybe it's My Father the Hero. Don't at me. My Father the Hero. At Jordan Jesse Go on Twitter. Was he like maybe, like, why am I now thinking he was like maybe like oh they were pretending to sleep together like dad and daughter right the daughter was katherine heigl this much

i know yeah and i think that it was really creepy he was like pretending to be her her lover so she could attract the attention i mean it turned out boy it turned out that like gerard Depardieu is just a chill, cool guy. Who doesn't want to pay taxes. Yeah, he's just a really chill guy, not insane at all, not completely off his gourd, and basically looking at everyone else around him like they're one of those fully dressed turkeys on a desert island, only it's one of those bottles of bookeys on a desert island only it's one of those bottles of booze with the x's on it does that make sense charlotte part two would drunk big drug yeah just carries around a jug of wine i did you start like auditioning for professional

stuff like while you were in high school like right after you got out or did it did it like come a little bit later they used to come to got out or did it come a little bit later? They used to come to our school to audition people a little bit because we were performing arts high school. So I didn't have an agent or anything, but I did get cast in an industrial called Immunization Day. Oh gosh, now the anti-vaxxers are going to come for me. Immunization day is here and it's all about control. Right. Yeah. But also contemporary topics, pay parity. The guy was getting $300 and I was only offered $150. And my father, my father negotiated it up. So I got $300. It was like a four day shoot. And, um, that was my, my first quote unquote professional job. And I just remember I had to

be like, get immunized. Like I kept doing the wrong, like the wrong emphasis. I'm sorry. I memorized this phonetically like Gerard Depardieu in My Father the Hero. Hey, Aya, can we talk to immunization girl? Is immunization girl here right now? Can we talk to her? Is she here? Is she available to speak to us?

We'd just love to talk to her. Talk to her? Is she here? Is she available to speak to us? We'd just love to talk to her. I'm 14 and I didn't get the Noxzema commercial because I wasn't pretty in the traditional way. But you should get immunized. Wow.

Wow. Where did Aya go? $300 is the official amount to get paid for semi-professional entertainment work. Like $300 is the amount of money I got paid for both of the local television commercials in which I acted and the amount of money I got paid to host each episode of the television show. But that was a lot of money for us back then. I also got paid a hundred100 to be an elf at a Mannheim Steamroller concert and met my college boyfriend. Wow.

Okay. Why didn't we start with this? I've had many jobs. I got paid $300 to be an elf at a GWAR Christmas concert. That would have been amazing. I wish that wasn't a joke. How do you get the elf job? Do they just send out a casting notice for people under five foot five?

No, I think it was, again, theater school. I was in college in Minneapolis and they were like, hey, would you do you want to make a hundred bucks? And then I ended up going on a date with the guy leading around a snowman because you couldn't see out of the snowman costumes. So he was just a snowman, like tender. Yes. in all black like i'm not here i'm just a shadow but like also let me help you pee i'll hold your snow dick it's a carrot or a corncob pipe both those would be pretty funny are you writing your name in your colleague? Right. I wasn't a sexy elf either.

It was like a full skirt to the floor, like red nose kind of vibe. Don't be presumptuous about what we find sexy, Aya. Oh, that's true. I mean, my college boyfriend. I'm pretty turned on by the idea of helping a snowman pee, honestly. Making me uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, sorry about our show, Aya. Wait, so what did you do at the Mannheim Steamroller concert? Like, how did the elf factor into the concert?

We just walked around in intermission. Okay. We were set dressing. It was really modeling. We just walked around in intermission. Okay. We were set dressing. It was really modeling. I could say I was a model maybe back in the day, like I did, like modeling. Yeah. Do you remember what you spent the hundred bucks on?

No, probably drugs. Still doing drugs at that point. Drugs. Okay. Yeah, drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you doing new drugs? The same drugs?

Mostly just the psychedelics and the weed. Ah, the weed. Blazing trees. Ah, the weed. Yeah. Look, I've never used psychedelics, but my wife Teresa once had a really nice talk with Jesus who told her that she was doing a good job. And since that happened 15 to 20 years ago, I have thought it sounds nice. If Jesus is going to give you a pat on the back, that's what you're looking for. You know, it depends. I mean, as a Jew, I feel like that would be really upsetting. Ah, fuck! Shit! I did it all wrong!

Aw, man! Aw, Nana! I kinda knew it! I kinda knew it the whole time! Hey, uh, you guys want to have a little chat with Jesus and then come back for more? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

First of all, I want to open this segment with a big thank you to the members of Maximum Fund. I don't know if you saw this, Jordan. segment with a big thank you to the members of maximum fund i don't know if you saw this jordan members of maximum fund who participated in our patch sale at the end of the max fund drive raised over fifty thousand dollars for trans lifeline i did see that i did see that that was awesome uh max fun really does have the best fans in all of the internet. The internet, it's mostly bad, but not the MaxFun part. It's good. I would encourage people, whether or not you're a MaxFun member, you can donate directly to Trans Lifeline. Trans Lifeline is a very cool organization. They are trans run. It is like peer crisis assistance. So both mental health crises and they also provide direct support for

things like legal costs for name changes. For example, trans people in the United States, one of the most at risk of any demographic group for violence, for poverty, for political violence, all these different things. Trans Lifeline does direct support by trans people for trans people. So whether you are trans or cis, you can go to translifeline.org and make a donation. Man, nothing feels better than writing a $50,000 check to charity, especially one as wonderful as Trans Lifeline. We're also supported this week by the folks over there at Stitch Fix. I got my Stitch Fix box this week, Jesse. Oh, what did you get? Okay, here's what Stitch Fix does. You go online, you take a little quiz, you tell them what kind of clothes you like,

what you're looking for, you tell them about your sizes, And every so often, they'll send you a box of curated stuff. I told my Stitch Fix stylist that I was looking for something for cold weather. It's getting a little colder here in LA. And I wanted some jeans that were a non-traditional color. These are the kinds of things you can tell your Stitch Fix stylist. Sent me a beautiful burgundy sweater that I've been enjoying all week it's been keeping me nice and toasty it looks great and also they sent me green jeans green so you're mr you're mr green jeans now no no i'm mr morris but the jeans they're green what's cool about the box is if there's anything you don't like, you can send it back. And they like, Jordan,

I hate returning things. It stinks. It makes my skin crawl because it seems like it's so hard and so much work. I have had this broken SSD drive that I bought from a major internet retailer in the passenger seat of my car, waiting for me to take it to Whole Foods for the last three weeks so I could return it. In the Stitch Fix box, there's just a bag in there. You throw your crap in there and dump it in the mail and it works. It is the most delightful return experience I've ever had. So anything that doesn't work for you,

you just dump it in the bag and send it out. If you keep everything, you get a discount. And if you want, you don't even have to sign up for boxes. They'll make a little store for you so that you don't have to sweat whether the stuff is going to be your style or whether this stuff is going to fit you. It's a wonderful service. Right now, Stitch Fix is offering our listeners $20 off their first fix at stitchfix.com slash JJGO. That's stitchfix.com slash JJGO for $20 off today. Stitchfix.com slash JJGO.

We're also supported this week by the folks at Trade Coffee. Jordan, my wife is a coffee fiend. She was also raised Catholic and feels bad about almost any gift she might get and also doesn't like things. So every year I find myself thinking, what am I going to get for Teresa? What am I going to get for Teresa? And the answer always is coffee because that is the pleasure of her life. That is the thing that Teresa actually, truly will be happy to get. And trade is the perfect place for me to get it because it is a coffee service that is going to personally tailor coffee to your tastes from roasters, specialty roasters all over the country. You can send just a digital code. You don't even need to get a physical thing. You just get a code,

send it to the special loved one who loves coffee, whether they're a fancy pants coffee snob or a regular coffee Joe, a regular Joe Joe, like my friend Jordan Morris. Yeah, I definitely just for most of my coffee drinking life have just kind of been very happy with grocery store coffee. But then I started using Trade and it's really kicked my mornings up a notch. I love the coffee that Trade sends me. It's like exactly what I like. These are small, independent roasters. So, you know, you're getting it from a good place. I think, yeah, if the person in your life who you need a gift for is coffee crazy, if they like notes, this is the perfect gift for them. But also, if you know somebody who

just kind of drinks grocery store stuff and you want to stoke them out, Trade Coffee would also be great for that particular person. Treat yourself or the coffee lover in your life with Trade Coffee right now. Trade is offering our listeners a total of 30 off a subscription and access to limited time holiday specials at drink trade.com slash jj go that's drink trade.com slash jj go for 30 off drink trade.com slash jj go i want to mention before we go you know i have to put this on chop it put this on chop.com where I sell not just pocket squares. Some people think it's just pocket squares and stuff, but all kinds of gift items for men and women, vintage and antique things, beautiful things, funny things, charming things, Gremlins 2 trading cards. All at putthisonshop.com.

Lately, we've been moving a lot of stuff on our Instagram at put.this.on. So if you're on Instagram, go follow me and put this on there at put.this.on and check the stories because we're pretty much every day. There's cool new stuff in there that is going to be a perfect gift for somebody in your life. Literally every single thing is going to be a perfect gift for somebody in your life. It's just how it works, Jordan. Yeah. Buy one person everything in the store. Make them feel weird. Yeah. If you're that one YouTube guy where your whole thing is how much money you can spend, but you're somehow became the

most popular YouTube guy on the internet, just buy all the shit from my store. Give it to one person. Yeah. Come on, that guy. And you know what? This also applies to that one YouTube guy with the English guy who looks at the outdated technology. Yeah. Techmoan. Techmoan, Rhett and Link, buy everything in my store. The Sekiro speed runners, Sekiro no-hit speed runners. Look, if you're making lore videos for one of Jordan's favorite games, he's got a PlayStation, I think. What are you on a PlayStation? I'm on a PlayStation.

I'm a Sony man. If you're doing any PlayStation lore, I guess PlayStation lore would be like, how come they have shapes instead of letters on the buttons? You know, you got to set yourself apart somehow. It's put.this.on on Instagram. And I'm going to be in person in South Pasadena at the South Pasadena Vintage Fleet Market on December 17th. Last time I did that, several Jordan Jesse Go listeners stopped by. I'll be there vending in person.

So come say hello that afternoon. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective and it's aya the bowl is cashed oh because she loves drugs jordan this young woman is a druggie high school that's what high school people's create i can't take credit for that brilliant Loves drugs, Jordan. This young woman is a druggie. High school. That's what people's create. I can't take credit for that brilliant name. That is definitely coming from the students at San Francisco School of the Arts circa 1996. Because you were blazing down everyone's J's.

You were taking care of everybody's. I mean, I smoked a lot of weed and watched boys play video games not to brag and uh i played a lot of video games so there's something we kind of have in common i didn't know we were using our high school nicknames let's well let's intro the show again i'll use mine okay but i don't know if i had it i mean I would probably know if I had a high school nickname, it was a hundred percent something that people were using behind my back, like dipshit or something. I think you were so well, I wish we could make jokes, but you were very well liked Mr. Jesse, the ties thorn. I don't know. I'm going to presume it was dipshit. So I'm Jesse Dipshit Thorn. Jordan Diarrhea Crybaby Morris. The diarrhea hurt.

It was painful diarrhea. Yeah. I mean, especially afterwards if you don't get cleaned up appropriately. Yeah. And I never did. Painful. You're still soiled. Yes.

I've been soiled since I was 13. I just had this whole debate with my neighbor. He was like taking his kid on the subway and they saw poop on the subway. And he was like, the kid was like, what's that? And he said, that's poop. And the kid's like, is that on purpose? And he said, I don't know. And then he was like, you know, but if you had to like go to the bathroom, you couldn't hold it.

And it was really bad. Like, then wouldn't you rather poop on the subway than in your pants? And I was like, no, I would absolutely shit my pants rather than take my pants down, expose my genitals and shit in the middle of a subway car. Like one is a newsworthy event and the other is a slightly embarrassing moment. And I'm just curious, would you shit your pants or would you take them down and let loose? Great question. Your suggestion here is that were you to take your pants down and shit in the subway? Obviously someone did.

Yeah. And we didn't hear about them in the news, but you're thinking there's something special about Aya Cash, star of Welcome to Flatch, that would make you the new pizza rat or whatever. No, I actually think this is about gender. I think this was clearly a man who pooped because men are also much more comfortable going to the bathroom in public in general because it's easier because of the appendage. Yeah, I guess pooping on the subway is a really extreme kind of manspreading. I'll give you space if you shit next to me. I definitely won't be like elbowing you out of the way.

For reasons that I can't quite recall specifically, I did once poop in an alley. I think I told the story on this show. It was a long time ago, maybe 10 years ago, but I did poop like in an alley or something one time, but it was a, it was a relatively private alley. It was like behind a convenience store that I had hoped would be open and have a bathroom. But I think that's the closest I've ever come. I think that's the only time I've ever done that activity outside of the confines of a bathroom or possibly a couple times on a camping trip. You know, I don't think I've ever even wiped my butt with leaves, which I think is something that you do on camping trips. I'm not an expert at butt wiping.

I really have a hard time with it. It's so painful. That's why they call me diarrhea crybaby. Hey, ah, man. Steal my nickname. Do you have a bidet? I used to have a bidet and it was spectacular, but there's no outlet near my toilet right now.

So I'm trying to decide whether to get one of those manual ones or I literally have considered what if I had the electrician put an outlet by my toilet so I could have a bidet because I loved the bidet so much. I feel like if you're a podcaster, you have a bidet because like they sponsor things. You've never had a bidet sponsor yeah no all these years i've got mattresses i couldn't get a match i tried to use my social media following to get a mattress once back in the day and they were like no it just gave you the i was like everybody's getting these mattresses you don't even get to use the coupon code. You're paying full price. Oh no, they gave me $100

off. And I was like, absolutely not. You're like, for $100 I would buy it, but not for $100 off. I'll pay the shipping. I'll find that shit on the street. Thank you. Lot of good mattresses. Lot of good mattresses on the street. Absolutely.

Perfectly good mattresses. A lot of fun little critters and i'm gonna get a bed bug tattoo if it's good enough for bed bugs it's good enough for me thank you you know they're looking for somewhere warm and cozy just like i am i would say that yeah i think if it was a subway car i think it would end up inside my pants and then i would desperately try and go to a horrific nightmare bathroom in a subway station to throw away as many of my clothes as i could while still making it home without being arrested yeah and i think i mean you know this is something that you know we're gonna get into it which know, we're going to get into it, which I think we should.

People love this universally. Exactly. Doesn't alienate anyone. This. You know, something that I've been working on in therapy is the fact that I think sometimes I ignore my own needs because I don't want to be a bother. I don't want to like be a bother to people. So sometimes I, you know, internalize things. I don't like ask for help. And so, yeah, I think that would lead me to just shitting in my pants on the subway. That instinct. Whereas I think three years from now, five years from now, if you continue on the path

that you're on, you know, this kind of self-actualization through therapy, you would finally find yourself in a position to ask an old woman to help you shit in the subway car, just drop trowel and drop a turd. Jesus Christ. Why am I so comfortable with cum spray, but I'm so uncomfortable with poops? Humans are complicated. Yeah, we're complicated creatures. You know, it's appropriate that you bring this up, Aya, because for many years on this program, we have been celebrating momentous occasions with our audience. And sometimes those momentous occasions are shameful, in which case they are moments of

shame. Someone has called in a moment of shame for us, and Daniel's about to play it. Hey, guys. I've got a moment of shame here. I'm a music teacher, and I teach online. And today I sat down to teach with my brand new classic trash T-shirt. And it's a little chilly where I live,

so I put on a jean shirt over the top of it. And I start my Zoom class. My student asks, does your shirt say ass rash? Yeah. So no cardigans with this one. Love the show, guys. Thanks. Hey, shout out to our Classic Trash t-shirt.

Yes. For your information, we love to celebrate on this show Classic Trash. We're talking Tin Can with the floppy top, banana peel, apple core. Classic Trash. And we made a t-shirt, and I

guess, and Daniel is saying there's a shared photo here in the chat. I guess that if you cover up the right parts of this classic trash shirt, it does in fact read as ass rash. Yeah, which I think we also like to celebrate. I think as we mentioned, we're big fans of shitting in your pants. And what causes an ass rash?

Like a pants shitting. What is a podcast if not saying words? What is an ass rash if not pants shitting? With the result of a thorough pants shitting. So, yeah, I just want to, you know, congratulate the listener. And, yeah, I mean, I think if you're out there and you have an ass rash, be proud of it. I think it's something that people might be ashamed of. It may be hard to talk about in public, but yeah, I think it's beautiful. Love a nice red ass. That's why I love baboons so much. At the end of the day, Jordan, there's nothing wrong with asking a little old lady on the subway if she's got some hydrocortisone.

Yeah. Help me. You don't have to internalize that. And people like to help. They like to, you know, I think that's a reason you should feel okay asking for help is that people like to feel useful. They like the connection. So, yeah, I mean, I think if you're on the subway and you're feeling a little bit itchy, don't think twice. You're a professional actor.

You're pretty well known. You run a long-running acclaimed program on FX. You run The Boys as Stormfront. You're now on Welcome to Flatch with Sean William Scott. Also as Stormfront, weirdly. Yeah, as Stormfront, which is an odd addition in the American adaptation of the original British program. It's interesting that they added that satirical super villain character from the show The Boys, but it makes a lot of sense. Well, every town has a Nazi, as we're learning. It's true. A Nazi with superpowers.

I'll say this, Aya. You're pretty well known. I think that you could probably get a PSA put together on this subject. Because there's probably a lot of people out there with rashes on their asses who are afraid to ask other subway passengers if they have any hydrocortisone. I feel like we do it in the style of the, this is your brain on drugs PSA, right? Like really serious. Where you put your ass in a frying pan yeah to scald it uh just called it or to stop the itch i mean oh yeah what will you do but like a really serious really like sort of sepia toned ad. Can I suggest something here? Yeah.

Obviously, we're targeting millennials here. Jordan included. But the 90s are back for Gen Z as well. That's a really good point. That's a great point. They're huge. So yeah, in the commercial, you definitely should do that thing where the top button of your blue jeans is unbuttoned and the waistband is rolled down. But yeah, I think given that we're targeting millennials, if I could suggest sort of like a direction to go with this, because it's about shame, right?

So you say, hi, I'm millennial celebrity Aya Cash, Stormfront from the boys. Yeah, I'm still one where you need to add i'm still up where who oh from there oh okay okay i haven't seen it i haven't seen it i hear it's great i've been meaning to watch oh there's so much tv there's so much so much can suggest, let's suggest this. Yeah. Yes. Hi, I'm Aya Cash. You might have recognized me in a movie that you went to a screening of because you're a public radio host, maybe a Mike Birbiglia movie. And you were probably excited because you're like, oh shit, there goes Aya Cash from high school.

That's what I would suggest. She's got a baby in a bar. Yeah. So you say, hi, I'm, I'm Iacash from Welcome to Flatch. If you're a millennial like me, you might have a problem with ass rash and it might be causing you shame. But despite the fact that you're a millennial, you don't have to eat the shame of ass rash. Because millennials love eating ass. Don't rim job your ass rash.

Don't rim job your ass rash. Avocado toast. Your home buying. Right. Horoscopes are back. P.S. I'm a witch. Crystal. I don't know. Rock.S. I'm a witch. Crystal. I don't know.

Rocks have magic powers. Gotta go. So on our program, we have been asking our audience to write and record vocal versions of the classic Looney Tunes factory song, Powerhouse.

That one. Mm-hmm. Of course, a lot of our listeners already know this, but there was one Looney Tunes show with little baby Looney Tunes that was not Tiny Toon Adventures, where they wrote lyrics to the song. We learned about this after the call-out.

But the reality is those lyrics were half-assed and sucked and those people should quit the business it's cute it's fine people who wrote the lyrics those people who wrote the lyrics should get out of the business weird glitch there's plenty of people who actually are gonna it's really cute put some heart and effort into one of these things and not just shit out a fucking garbage thing because it's baby Bugs Bunny or whatever the fuck. It's totally fine. It's cute. So we asked people to call in and we've had a problem lately, which is that there's a lot of people like a regular Jordan, Jesse go listener Hunter, who have been recording complex versions of this song with absolutely nothing about Rick Moranis or any of the cast members of SCTV.

Now, some would argue that's a requirement that we added much later, far into this call to action. But I don't think that's relevant here. I think at the end of the day, it's something, even if you hadn't heard us say it, you should have anticipated. We wanted to hear something about the Canadian comedy troupe, SCTV. So Daniel, God knows I hope that this one is about an SCTV cast member, ideally Rick Moranis. Go ahead and press play. So far, this is a 10 out of 10 for me. Yeah, it's rules.

I'm upgrading it to a 12. I'm having an ecstasy flashback. This is just a list of the cast members, but I like it. Okay, I'm starting to become mesmerized, so it's a good time to fade it out. But I'm going to go ahead and say that not only is this good, I am so happy that I did Ecstasy before this show. Like, it is fucking hitting so hard right now. Fucking, I am eating Vips VapoRub and having a tremendous time here at the home studio. I love Vips.

I'm wearing a wolf hat. I've got my candy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Plur. That's something. Nia, were you raving? Was that the context for your ecstasy use in high school?

Yes, it was. Did you have special rave pants? No, like I couldn't afford Jankos or whatever, like the big, like fancy pants. So I still was just like. Too much yardage. Yeah. And I wore a cape to school. So I feel like there wasn't a big transition from like school to rave. Jordan, you would have guessed that between me and Aya, the one who wore a cape to school was Aya, right? Hey, listen, I think probably the thing that unites all three of us, and we're three very different people. Sure. Is that we probably all wore a cape to high school.

I absolutely had a couple of cape days. Were you a black, like a black gothy cape? Like a British vampire type? Reproduction Batman? Great question. No, I think I was a like, you know, drama club goofball. So it was probably something, I think we did a lot of like wearing

stuff to school from the like costume closet so you know top hat you know civil war jacket etc kilt because we were a little bit random we were were kind of random. Totally random. And now Harry Styles has taken it all. Yeah, exactly. What I wore to school and got teased for, Harry Styles is being praised for. Ain't that always the way?

This is a classic Jordan Jesse Go subject, but did you ever have bowling shoes? I still have bowling shoes i still have bowling shoes i may even have some sort of collection of bowling shoes or shoes that look like bowling shoes but have rubber regular bottoms i love the the the tongue of a bowling i love the the laces of a bowling shoe and the yeah You're concerned about marking. I'm concerned about

marking. I like a little like, eek, as I walk. Uh-huh. Sure. You like a little slide in your step. You like to eat shit on the stairs by your locker. Something that happened to me. Well, I love to play victim. All right. Help me.

My shoes are too slippery. I never had bowling shoes. I should have thought about it. Too chicken shit to steal them. Had to settle for vintage Florsheim long wings. You know what? I still have a lot of vintage Florsheim long wings. So we basically haven't changed.

At least Jordan grew up and became successful and cool. And he's got that reading glasses t-shirt he's wearing right now. It's really cool. It's true. It's a sweatshirt. And I stopped doing drugs. And you stopped doing drugs. We're all doing okay.

We're all doing okay. Yeah. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. I'm sure you've noticed how giant corporations are controlling more and more about what we consume, whether it's our food, our news, or even the shows we enjoy. The Greatest Generation is a show that stands up to big Star Trek and says, no, we can laugh about costumes that fit too tightly in the groin area. We can make a Star Trek podcast that's basically only about that. The Greatest Generation, the show for free and independent thinkers about Star Trek. And the groins of different costumes.

Reviewing every episode in order. So subscribe to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org. You'll be doing your part in telling the Star Trek industrial complex that they can't control your mind. Hi, it's Kevin for MaxFunHQ. This year for Giving Tuesday, we're inviting you to a super fun tarot event. It's got some of your favorite MaxFun hosts, and it's for a great cause. Join Depresh Moth's John Moe, Carrie Poppy of Ono, Ross, and Carrie, Stuart Wellington from The Flophouse, Tom Lum from Let's Learn Everything,

and Ellen Weatherford of Just the Zoo of Us. Your suggested $10 donation supports National Casa GAL and their work advocating for kids in foster care. That's this giving Tuesday, November 29th at 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m. Eastern. Check out MaximumFun.org slash events for more information and tickets to The Tarot Show with John Moe. it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective i uh cash hawk i'm just changing them every time i hope that's okay i want more than one nickname that's reasonable i just got a message aya on my phone from Paul Feig. It says that he's going to beat me up if I don't ask you what Sean William Scott is really like. Which is, I mean, Feig used to be pretty chill, but he carries a cane around now. So I think he could take me.

Well, I'll tell you what Sean William Scott is like. I think he could take me. Well, I'll tell you what Sean William Scott is like. He impersonates Paul Feig on social media to harass and try to get publicity for himself. Wow. I've told him. Can't Elon put a stop to this? It's inappropriate. Well, he has the one checkmark, not the two checkmarks.

Now there's two, but maybe one. I don't know. I'm not on Twitter. Sure. Good call. But yes. So he's only once verified. Is that why I'm looking at Paul Feig's Twitter right now and next to his name, there's just a drawing of a dick, like a line drawing of a dick. Oh, no, no. That one's Paul. That's Paul. Great. Got it. And Sean William Scott is probably the most like his character of anyone on Flatch. I would say that is that is a representation. His character, we were talking about this in a break,

but like any time Sean William Scott shows up in something, it's sort of like Patrick Warburton showing up in something where I'm like, you know what? This is going to be great. I'm going to really like this. Like he's just one of those people that I'm always happy to see on screen. And his character on Welcome to Flatch is a sweet priest, a cute, sweet priest. And that's an unusual move for Sean William Scott, but fits him very well. Yeah. And he is very much like that in person. He is very sweet and very warm and known for being essentially on the show in a boy band as a young person. And of course, Sean is known for American Pie. So it's a funny thing to see like him. Yeah. And Sean William Scott in real life, extraordinarily chaste, known for his chastity. And for Fyndom, those are the two.

I've got all of his bank account passwords, Jordan. And I, you know, I let him, I let him use the money. It's not, but on my terms, that's the arrangement. It happens on my terms. Got to check with daddy first. Yeah. Well, Aya, thank you for taking the time to be on Jordan, Jessica.

It's always nice to see you. We're always so proud of your extraordinary success and it is all earned. You're so great on Welcome to Flatch. You've been so great in everything that i've seen you in and i'm always like fuck yeah way to go aya from school of the arts showing and proving making me look good by my vague association that you once left a lot of flannel shirts in my wife's parents' house in each room as you passed. He said as you passed through each room, he would go into the room you had previously been in

and pick up some clothes that you had left there and bring them to you in the new room that you were in. Yes. Well, first of all, I like to get naked at other people's houses. But secondly. Well, I mean, you had done a lot of ecstasy before you went over to the Hossfeld home in Mill Valley so hot in here well I just want to say since you just gave me a lot of nice things I just want to say

in Guar voice Jesse you're amazing I can't believe you made a career out of talking it's fucking cool I can't believe you made a career out of talking. It's fucking cool. I can't believe this is a job, whatever the fuck it is that you do. You're an inspiration. I hope you get a free bidet.

The shoot's come. Jordan, Jesse Go, produced by Daniel Zafranar. Producer Emeritus is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You should watch ION. Welcome to Flash. It is a delightful program. It is on the Fox network on Thursdays at nine, eight central. You can also find it streaming on streaming services.

Which one is it? It's on Hulu, right? Hulu. Hulu. Hulu. You can also find it streaming on Hulu. It really is a charming and really funny show, as we mentioned. Sean William Scott is also in it. It was co-created by Paul Feig, our pal, the wonderful director, writer, and sometime performer. It's a really charming, delightful show, so you should go check it out. You can find us on Reddit at maximumfund.reddit.com on Twitter at Jordan Jesse Go. Just make sure that it's not an impersonator. The way you can tell ours is real

is that it has a line drawing of a ball sack next to it. We are on Instagram at Jordan D Morris and at what dot this dot on that's me. I'm going to be at the, uh, South Pasadena vintage flea market on December 17th. So come say hi to me that Saturday afternoon in South Pasadena. It's going to be a nice time. I think that's all our theme music. Love you by the free design courtesy of the free design and the light in the attic records. Hashtag your Jordan Jesse Go tweets. Hashtag JJHO.

And you can email us at JJGO at MaximumFun.org. Jesse, it's JJGO. You're just trying to drive traffic to the Hodgman podcast. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of this. JJGO. I'm not doing this work so that Hodgman can get more bidet sponsorships. Send your sponsorship and membership checks to John Hodgman, Park Slope, Brooklyn.

We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximumfun.org love you.