Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Hypoallergenic Cat Man with Brian Posehn

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

Brian Posehn joins Jordan and Jesse this week to talk about getting fired from Tower Records, Brian's comedy shoes and David Duchovny nudity.Check out Brian's new special Posehna Non Grata right here!Don’t forget to pre-order the “Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe of Horrors” that Jordan wrote on using code JAN231229 at your local comic shop!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris. I now know the crankiest guy. Well, it's not a nickname technically, but it does sound like a thing you want to talk about. So we might as well just get into it then. That's kind of how we've been using the nicknames lately. It's just kind of an intro.

It's a way of avoiding planning for the show together. Well, I think we want there to be a little spontaneity. A little freshness. Sorry, we're talking about the podcast on the podcast bad form i know bad form it's like when i put some worcestershire sauce into the chili i made earlier i just saw it on the shelf i thought well throw it in yeah that'll boost the umami i said to myself jordan tell me about this cranky man that you met so yes i just i wanted to just start a conversation by asking you who you thought the crankiest kind of man was generally like of the not a specific man,

but like a category of man. Category of man. You know, obviously a lot's been made of, you know, the guy who works at the comic book store, a guitar center guy. I mean, we've talked about Al from Al's Comics in my childhood. Very cranky man. Right. But also a sweet man. I am going to say, and this is interesting because this is one of those that can go either way and never the twain shall meet. But I'm going to say guy behind the counter at an independent liquor store.

Good one. That's a good one. That is a cranky man. I'm talking about like a corner store type liquor store, not like a fancy type liquor store. That person's super silly. Yes. At the fancy liquor store. I'm talking about the man who may or may not own the place. Now, again, I don't want to paint with too broad a brush because I think there are a lot of those men who are notably nice. Yeah, but no, I know I have gone into those places, you know, frequently, and the guy can't help me because he is eating orange chicken out of a styrofoam container. Yeah, that absolutely could happen at any moment. Now, that said, it could be one of the best interactions of your day, especially if you

live in the neighborhood and you've got a relationship like I did as a child with the folks over there at K&D Liquors. You, of course, know K&D Liquors. They're on 16th Street right around the corner from Al's Comics. Should I say yes or no? I don't know. I don't have anything to add, so probably just no. Let's stop it cold.

I haven't heard of it, but I'll visit it the next time I'm in town. I'll make it a point to stop in. My mom told me they still work there. Oh, that's nice. So, yeah. So, I'm interested in men you can count on to be cranky. Other categories, Home Depot guy, Kinko's guy. Not a lot of Kinko's around anymore, but I guess they're FedEx Kinko's. Still filled with cranky guys. A Home Depot guy is also a guy that could go

either way. Right. You might think that I'm here to say they could be cranky or there could be like the most helpful guy you've ever met. But actually, they could be cranky or you could just not be sure they heard you. Just wandering away. You know what I mean? Just doing anything they can to not make eye contact with you. And, you know, it's a big cavernous place and maybe their hearing's been messed up by being too close to that paint shaking machine. Yeah.

Maybe they accidentally got caught in that paint shaking machine at some point. Yeah, sure. That'll fuck with your hearing, your depth perception. Yeah. But I agree with you. That's why I only shop at Jackson's Hardware in San Rafael, California. 100% employee owned. Ask for my father-in-law, Steve.

Have you ever been in that paint machine? Oh yeah, baby. That's why I actually started dating Teresa. She had access to the paint machine. Nice. And then the rest is history. Yeah. I still can't come without it. Go ahead. Going up to San Rafael two, three times a week. I mean, I got to do what I got to do. Yeah. Got a pilot's license like John Travolta.

Similar situation for him, actually. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You two both into paint machines, huh? Mm-hmm. So I tried to find a new frame guy recently. I had a beloved frame guy. I think you might have even recommended my beloved frame guy to me, Jesse.

I was going to Quick Art Frame on third street. Yeah, that's a great place. Very affordable. Great place to get something framed. You're not breaking the bank. They do a great job. Sometimes you just want a frame place that has some frames and they're willing to mat it for you. Yes. Yeah. And you know, you can pay a little bit more if you want some matting, you can pay a little bit more if you want to, you know, zhuzhed up frame, but if you just want a nice- You want a custom job, they'll do it. But otherwise they got some reasonably priced pre-made frames that they can mat for you. Yeah. So I, all of my framing was done there. You know, I found out about it early on in my

living in LA and I never strayed from quick art frame on third street so now that I live in the Pasadena Altadena area that drive is a little more inconvenient and so I'm like I got to find an in-town frame guy because I'm you know I'm killing a day getting something framed over there on third yeah so I'm like I just, I'll Yelp frame store. I will call around. I'll see who has comparable deals to quick art frame on third. So I called probably six places and kind of opened with, hi, I've got a couple different things I want framed.

Various sizes, you know, a couple different kinds of things I need framed. I was just kind of looking for an estimate. What do you charge for something that's like, you know, eight by 10 if I just wanted kind of basic glass and a black frame? Now this is, I was going to say, Jordan, I was- Have I fucked up at this point, Jesse? In your opinion, have I fucked up? Have I fucked up? I thought you were about to wade into the weeds. I thought you were about to get yourself into trouble with this phone call. 8 by 10, basic black, plain glass. They should have a quote right there for you.

No one would tell me over the phone, and five of the guys said some version of this. Yeah, there's no way I could tell you that over the phone. There's no way I could tell you that over the phone. There's no way I could tell you that over the phone. Just incensed that I would ask for a broad, you know, range.

Is it 50 bucks? Is it more like 100 bucks? And one guy even said, yeah, it sounds like maybe you just want to go to Walmart. Sounds like maybe you, you should just go to Walmart.

Thought I was some sort of fair weather art owner who just wanted some fucking basic ass Walmart frame. Where'd you end up going? Kmart? No, I just drove my ass down to quick art frame on third. Took me two hours there and back. Killed a day. But I knew, I knew what I was getting. I was so shocked that these frame

guys just treated me like I was, you know, like I walked into the guitar center and just said, like, give me what the boss plays or something. Jordan? Yeah. I don't want you to get the wrong

idea because I think we both know that you deserve to be treated like the princess you are thank you i let down my hair for nothing if there's a p under your mattress somebody should pull it out thank you if there's some p on your mattress maybe you should wake up all right that was one time. And I told you that in confidence. Well, it's too late now. I already spilled the beans just like you spilled the urine on your mattress. This is their art, Jordan. This is what

they do. They went to art school. They learned how to stretch canvases and make frames. And you're calling them asking them it's like you sound to them like the teacher on peanuts right only instead of going you're going walmart walmart walmart the whole time you're talking about 8x10 frames. End of the day, Jordan? Go to 3rd Street or go home.

Yeah. You want an affordable frame, you got to go to 3rd Street. Now, if you need a nice custom frame, you're going to want to holler at my friends at Frame Monster. Oh, man. Because I got a new spot, baby. Oh, my gosh. you're a frame monster man now i'm all frame monster all the time how will they treat me they're gonna treat you like a king okay they're gonna treat you like a fucking king but i'm a princess i thought we already

established i don't want to be treated like a king if you're lucky mike is going to show you some pictures of the last powwow he went to to do aztec dancing yeah that's right he does aztec dancing at powwows it's cool as heck it sounds cool yeah you talk to him about his hometown in texas but yeah i think you know the other guy is mike go ahead i think in my recent life i have seen the person who works at the comic book store move from you know brian posain like sure to there now that guy still exists but also there's a lot of like you know nice indie rock types who want to recommend an autobiographical graphic novel about growing up biracial yeah a friendly lady with pink hair works at the comic book store now yeah so comic book store clerk you've now been elevated to probably won't be cranky frame store guy that's where the assholes of america are setting up shop

well jordan our guest on the program this week is a legendarily sweet fella, but I think he could turn crank at any moment. Like I think he's got it in him. He is a standup comic. He's got a brand new special called Posena non grata, which you can get on all of your platforms. Jordan soup to nuts nuts any platform you please get it in the zoom marketplace brian posay hey brian what what store do you think has the most cranky employee man i wasn't thinking store the whole time i was like that sounds like an mc an older local club, cranky old stand-ups, but guys that have also just been MCing for 20 years. Yeah, right.

That's probably the crankiest bastard you're going to meet. Yeah, a guy who works in a strip mall comedy club. It is called the Chuckle Hut or something. Yeah. You still have to leave your name on an answering machine to get tickets. He's been working for the same club for his whole career. Yeah, he's crusty and cranky. Does that guy have another job, Brian?

Sometimes they do. Other times, no. Unless you consider alcoholism a job. Well, they're putting in the work in my experience that guy also still has some bill clinton jokes he's for sure he's still finding a way to shoehorn into the act waiting for there to come around yeah yeah come back anything any excuse brian you are a comic book store enthusiast. How have you seen the transformation from crankus to friendly lady that knows a lot about coming of age comics? they're like award winning.

They won the prize in Wizard Magazine for being like the best local shop, you know, and they're diverse and always have been. This place I went to today, yeah, it's so not the comic book guy. It was a cute little black girl with piercings. And I don't think it was blue hair, but she had some different shades going on in there and she was super happy to be there and it was like, it's a new thing. They're not cranky. They're the opposite of cranky.

I walked in and she was like, hey, how's it going? And I'm like, whoa. I have my dream job. I'm working in a wonderland of comics. You should, yeah, yeah. I get to recommend comics to people and they're happy because it's hard to know about comics. When I was in elementary school, my babysitter mentioned in the past on this program, Darius de Belgedere.

Darius de Belgedere worked for Al at Al's Comics. Come to find out, Darius worked just for comic books. Like he just got comic books in exchange for his labor. Oh, wow. I was going to say maybe he was, you know, relegated to comics. Like don't touch the baseball cards. Well, when I would go in there to get baseball cards, Al would just kind of look at me sadly. Like he'd sell them to me.

Sure. But he'd just go my favorite my favorite player was mark grace would say hey mark grace i saved some cards for you but he was mad that he did that he did this nice thing for me you know i think as i have grown and gotten more you know confident with myself i think back to those interactions and I'm like, you know, I think those guys don't know that they're being dicks. I think that they are just a way. Yeah. And it is a weird way. And I don't think they know. No, they're just cranky. They can't help it. Some of the guys I'm thinking of.

Back in the day, when I first moved to L.A., Golden Apple didn't hire like nerds. They hired just whoever. And so the people when they when I first started coming here or going to that shop in the early 90s, they didn't know what they were talking about at all. They were like punk people and like pierced. And there was this super hot girl with tattoos and piercings. Didn't know any comics, didn't read comics. Like a Suncoast video at the mall yeah if that's what it felt like you'd talk to them and and uh they'd go yeah i have no clue i don't know the jli from the jla and that my buddy jerry duggan you know the comic book writer sure he got

hired around then because he went into that shop he came here straight from jersey and uh he knew his shit he knew what he was talking about. And the owner's like, we could actually use somebody like you because these punk rock cranks don't know what they're doing at all. Send these attractive punk rockers to tower records. These people keep recommending Prince Caspian. But I was a,

I was a tower records person and that's, yeah. Talk about cranky. You worked there. Yeah. I actually got fired for person, and that's, yeah, talk about cranky. You worked there? Yeah, I actually got fired for being, or for attitude. Wow. And they hired people for attitude. Was it one?

No. Was it one instance, or it happened gradually? So they sent a shopper in, a corporate sent a shopper in during Christmas. And so I got fired during Christmas. And the whole time I'm like, aren't you guys hiring extra people right now? Like, how can you really be letting go of me? And they're like, you're so bad. Yeah, normally.

But I had gotten so many complaints at that point. And so the person that complained, the shopper that complained, I asked what they looked like. And my manager goes, you know, tells me who the person was. And I think about it. I go, I didn't say anything to them. And they go, that's why you didn't say thanks for coming to tower. You didn't say anything. You rolled your eyes. You sighed loudly. What other incidents had occurred? More like that. You know, just 20-something music snob attitude, you know. You're a very serious music guy. What were you mad at people for buying when you were 23 years old at Tower Records? Pop. Anything pop or country, probably at the time, but not good country, the pop country.

So you were telling people you were out of Shania Twain when you had a ton of Shania Twain's in the back? Probably. Yes. The big one was like, you know, Milli Vanilli, New Kids on the Block, all the big late 80s stuff, early 90s. What were you pushing on people what were you like trying to get them into well i was actually the rap buyer at my first one wow sacramento in the suburbs i was uh

the most knowledgeable kid they could find about hip-hop at that point so i was uh i was buying nwa i was buying all that late 80s stuff, the good stuff, and then selling MC Hammer and whatever else was popular at the time. The last guy was DJ Shadow, but he left. Brian, will you take over? And I was so, I had hair down or past the camera, way down here, and would wear Stussy and leather and shit like that to work. But, uh, I was the hip hop guy somehow. What was going on in Los Angeles though?

Were you sassafrassing? What do you mean? I mean, was it all ignoring people or were there any active activities? Oh, this was a Sacramento store that I worked at, but no, I think it was mostly just sarcasm. I'm probably, you know, it was probably just my eye rolling and just. Jordan, did you buy your records at a special record store when you were a teen? Uh, yeah, let me think. I did my record. So I think i did like a lot of like browsing at the chain the warehouse where they had a the warehouse that was their slogan where the warehouse always i'm i'm feeling nostalgic just doing the bit yes they had like a used section so you could get one of the pre-dukey green day albums for five bucks if you wanted to they had a big bin of those there was a period at the warehouse in

the later years of the warehouse as they were circling the toilet right that like the big thing of the warehouse was that you could bring them five cds and you could get any CD in the store and it didn't matter what five CDs they were. Right. Yeah. And pretty quickly. I mean, like it gets real rough, real fast when people can bring in any five CDs.

Right. You, you could just bring in an AOL 10,000 hours CD. That came preloaded with an Ace of Bass album, I think. Yeah. And then there were a couple of like, once, you know, like friends started driving, we could go up to kind of cooler parts of town and go to like a Bionic Records. And there was a place called, it was just called Cool Stuff, where you could also buy bongs and creepers. And that's a place where a guy would not let you leave until you until you

bought the bad brains even if you said you already owned the bad brains he would make you buy it before you left he would make you feel like a dick until you bought the bad brains which you know in its own way is a kind of a public service yeah so some some chains that we went to just to like dick around because we didn't have anything to do. And then some special trips. Yeah. How about you? Where did you buy your teen records? This is a nice look. 24th Street in Noe Valley in San Francisco, you're looking at a real nice streetlight records. You got double rainbow ice cream right there. And then, of course, you have the legendary store Star Magic.

Now, what did Star Magic sell? Number one, those glow-in-the-dark stars that you glue to your roof, your ceiling. Although I should glue some to my roof now that I mention it. Number two, they sold those clear plastic magic wands that you turn over and the little sparkles go up and down in them. You know what I'm talking about? So stars and magic. Yeah. That's all they had.

That's pretty much it. That store's still thriving, right? That store's only gotten more successful. At some point they started carrying Lucky Charms, but it was when they changed the mix of the marshmallows to fit in with it. Brian, did you have, you grew up in Northern California. Did you have a, as in like north of the Bay Area, did you have, was there like a place to go get metal records when you were a kid? Yeah, well, I was obsessed. So, you know, it was go to Marin with my mom when she would go shopping and I knew places at the mall there. I knew, you know, there was a small place in Sonoma proper in the small town I grew up in, but that didn't last forever. And, but I, you know, I wound up finding places. There was a place that still exists in Santa Rosa called the last record store forever. And, you know, back then there were a million record stores, but now not so much. Now that might be the last one.

They earned their name of their store. Uh, because at the time in Santa Rosa, there was probably 20, like, you know, they had all the mainstream ones. There was a couple of warehouses, a couple of music lands, at least one tower, there was a rainbow. And then in Sonoma proper, we had a rainbow that turned into a tower and I wound up working there. And then we also had a place called Record Depot that was independently owned and I worked for them too too. And we sold videos, too, rented videos. And then we were in an old bank, and our porn section was actually in the... In the vault?

In the vault, yeah. Wow! Oh, shit. Oh, man, now I want to rent porn. What were the hot pornos at the time? Late 80s, early 90s. I wish I could tell you. Like, did you work at the pornography store, Brian, before you were 18? Because my wife worked at a video store in actually in Marin, where she was like 16 renting pornography to weird dudes.

My wife had the same experience. Yeah. And we had girls that worked at my place. I was at least 20 by that point. But yeah, we had teenagers also working there. Most of the time they weren't in the porn section. And it was a small town. So I feel like people that wanted

porn probably went out of town to get it i i don't feel like it was a huge thing that we sold like it was their road trip right it was there but i don't really have too many experiences i was mostly selling running the ticket master thing and and a machine and and uh you know selling vinyl metal and punk records to people. Did you have people camping out to use the Ticketmaster best ticket machine? On the weekends. Yep, yep, yep. And then I would also, me and the manager would get tickets for ourselves. I remember, I feel like every sitcom around that era had a camping out to get tickets plot line.

I did that. So I was, I saw fast times at Ridgemont high and walked away going, sure. Mike Damone's an asshole, but I think he's got a good idea there. So my senior year, I sold concert tickets to kids in Sonoma that weren't aware how easy it was.

Cause at that point we, we didn't have the Ticketmaster. That was after I graduated. But when I was still going to school, I would go to Santa Rosa or Napa or Petaluma, bigger towns than where I grew up in, and purchase tickets and then bring them home and sell them to other kids that didn't know

how easy it was to purchase tickets. Wait, but they didn't know what store you go to? Most of these kids, yeah, yeah. I grew up with kids who never went to San Francisco. Like, they lived 45 minutes away, and my mom was from there, so was from San Francisco, and then I grew up in Redwood City and San Jose first. So by the time I moved to Sonoma, I had spent a lot of time in the city, and there were kids that-

You were street smart. You had some street smarts. Yeah. And kids that, I don't know why, their parents just weren't into it or whatever. And kids that just lived in Sonoma and never left Sonoma. Yeah. My mom taught in that region of the country. My mom taught at Santa Rosa Junior College. Oh, wow. Just like, you know, a couple of things North of the city. Yeah. I went there and Oh, now we're talking. And like, there was like these categories I would go because my mom was a single mom. Like sometimes I would just have to go to work with her and sit in class.

And it was weird. Cause she got the job when I was like 13 or something like that, 14. So on the one hand, these were 19 year olds. These people were like gods to me, right? Like I couldn't believe these people. On the other hand, it was a very motley crew. It was a very motley. There were some people who had been weird fuck ups in high school who were super geniuses. There were some people who were just doing whatever they had to do to get done with it so they could get their two year fire science degree and become firefighters.

fighters, there were a lot of like legit farmers, like people who grew up on farms and would return to farms after which, you know, we're 40 minutes from San Francisco or whatever. And then there was adults, the adults by far the best in the classes. Sometimes it would be a retiree. The retirees sometimes would be weird but a person who's going to community college when they're 38 is a person who maybe some shit has been fucked up in their life but they're fucking on it right like they're not at community college to fuck around and like do the bare minimum to get the fire science degree. They're there because they want to learn shit and get ahead in life. Brian, I have a question I wanted to ask you about,

and it came up about, because I was listening to your great new comedy album. Poseidon non grata. Am I saying that right? I'm saying it was a, yeah. So you have comedy shoes. Well,

yeah. So you have comedy shoes? Well, yeah. So I do have shoes that I use for the stage and I call them my comedy shoes. And they're just Jordans. I collect Jordans and I've got 20 something pairs. That's what I've been at this 20 years, Brian. I only got the one. One pair of Jordans? No, got the one one pair of jordans no just the one a single jordan jordan morris that's fun just having fun here what a fun show see what you did

yeah he keeps me wrapped in plastic and a special shelf on his closet i can't breathe don't scuff him yeah he was you lose your value if you get scuffed. What are your stage Jordans, Brian? They're all stage Jordans. All my Jordans are for the stage, yeah. Some I wear less. This is my latest pair, just a couple of Christmas gifts. Oh, nice.

Classic bread, as they call it. Yeah, I've also got Michael Jordan's Chicago shoes. I've got his North Carolina Jordans. All the various states he's visited. Other colors. Spider-Man. I've got the Miles Morales ones. They're also red, black, and white.

There are people who collect Jordans who have pairs on ice, they have pairs for the streets ice, they have pairs for the streets and they have pairs for balling. Do you have, I would say in this case, balling for you would be the stage. That's where you're, you're most elegant and athletic. Yeah. Do you have specific ones that only get used for that or does it just a full rotation? I have a ones that only get used for that? Or is it just a full rotation? I have a couple that I barely use, but most of my Jordans I wear for the stage. And then also that I say in my comedy act, if you're a friend of mine and you die, I'm probably wearing my comedy shoes to your funeral, too. Yeah, do they also double as weddings?

Oh, yeah. funeral too yeah do they also double as you know weddings and oh yeah brian you gotta go to you gotta go to cool stuff and get a pair of creepers yeah the only answer i don't think i could rock the creeper i mean i always had friends that did that was never my shoe i'm so vans jordans and then uh like asics or whatever for walking. And I say in my act for running, but, you know, clearly I'm not doing a lot of running. Do you go also go in and try and get the like limited edition, you know, specific drop time vans? Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. I have over the years, you know, because of the metal thing.

I've had the Metallica vans, Iron Maiden, whoever gets the vans licensed. Right. And there's been a lot of horror ones, too, that I picked up. What's your top horror van? What is the one? I got Exorcist and some Friday the 13th ones and It also. I also, I'm a big Vans fan. I'm a big like, you know, lifer Vans wearer.

And I also started kind of collecting the branded limited edition ones when they came out. And I started wearing them and I like get a little sad when they get too fucked up and I have to throw them away. But you know what? It feels good to wear them. It really does. It is freeing to take them out of their you know specific little sleeve they come in i have so many things that i do collect that i don't take out of the box like you know on my action figures if i just turn the i have a whole nerd wall over there of

stuff that's still in boxes with shoes i usually wear them i have a couple that I haven't. I got a pair of Fat Sal's Jordans from that sandwich shop. Yeah, but they're so rare, I was like, I'm not even going to wear them. Are there mozzarella sticks in the shoes like they put in their sandwiches? Yes, they do. Chicken strips and mozzarella sticks, yeah. It's a fat shoe. It's delicious. Better than a Dr. Scholl's, honestly.

It's great. It's great for the arches great for my back i know this is the only thing i talk about on the program but the only thing i ever think about is bobito garcia had a television show about sneakers called it's the shoes and there was an episode where he went to the late biz marquis house a dj right yeah yeah he's a dj former professional basketball player internationally oh okay he was originally uh a break dancer he's just an all-around hip-hop guy right and bobito aka cool bob love aka dj cucumber slice heads to biz marquis house biz marquis just lives in the suburbs in like long island or something he just lives in a

in a sort of medium to small mcmansion type house like a real generic house he goes inside and there's almost no furniture but there's just these rooms where it's just sneaker boxes on the floor like nothing on on the wall, nothing, just sneaker. And then he just goes like, do you got these? You got these? You got these for like the whole episode. And it's the greatest shit in the history of the world to watch Biz Markie get pumped about like different fucking Clydes he has or whatever. Just tremendous.

I got to meet him. How did you meet the biz? He was the nicest guy. Nobody meets the biz. Yeah. What's that show? Yo Gabba Gabba. They were doing live episodes and they had me do a thing downtown

or no, it was at Staples and he did it too and we met and he held my kid i have a picture of him holding my son wow a year and a half wait it's pretty amazing was it an arena show well yeah no so not the main staples center what's the other uh something live right there's a theater there okay yeah there's a smaller there's a smaller, no. It was still packed, but no, no. It was the smaller venue right next to it. LA Live, I think it's called. They booked you, The Biz, Celine Dion. No, it was for Yo Gabba Gabba. It was for their live show where I just came out and did a dancey

dance. It was this little segment they would do with celebrities. Brian, you mentioned Bismarck holding your kid. Is your kid into some of the same stuff you are? Do you guys share a love of horror and metal, etc.? He's 13, so he still likes everything I like. I know there's going to be a rift soon where I'm no longer funny i'm no longer cool but so far you know we're just letting him start to see some rated r movies and we're like we've always been like we call the shots me and my wife and we'll watch stuff with him like okay you can watch spanglish we just did big lebowski a couple months ago. So Christmas was almost all big Lebowski for him. He wanted a sideshow toy of,

yeah, of the dude. And he got the sweater, the Pendleton sweater that the dude wears. And yeah, he's a cool kid. 13 year old dressed as the dude is very funny to me. He's a cool kid.

And now we're super into bowling. We were bowling tonight and I realized, yeah, we were going to do another game. And I went, oh shit, I got a podcast. And we all came running home. Thanks. That's become a new thing for him. He's like actually into doing something outside, which is good because he's such a gamer too. So sure. My daughter who's 11 is super into horror movies and has been for several years. Nice.

Well, it's not nice for me because I'm afraid to watch them. Oh, are you not a fan? Not in the slightest. No, I did watch them. Oh, wow. We chronicled on this show that I did go. And my wife is horrified of them. Like, I don't want to watch them.

So how did she find them? Who's turning her on? want to watch so how did she find them who's turning around there was a kid at her school who was talking about it a lot and it freaked her out but then somehow that led to her being into other horror movies and i don't know exactly what the path was they do not bother her they don't freak her out she does not have nightmares yeah it is really it's part of my life she's less into it now right now her interests are at 11 already so she was watching those movies at 9 and 10 yes she did unbothered by them unbothered by them that's how i was but yeah look out now she's more into like, she's really excited. She got a DVD

for a movie called Tangled Up, which is, has nothing to do with Tangled. It's just trying to trick you into thinking that it's Tangled. So she's into the idea of that. She likes that and unrated cuts. I don't remember how she got interested in unrated cuts, but she collects DVDs of unrated cuts and she has a display of them on her wall. What's unrated cuts? I don't even know what that is. You know, like, like, I feel like it was a it was an advertising gimmick in the like. I mean, Jesse, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm what I'm remembering when I think unrated cut. I think it's like at the height of DVD, right?

At the height of you going to best buy and getting a dvd the week it comes out it was kind of a way to suggest that like old school has more tits in it than it did in the theater oh got it like unrated you know so it's not the r version it's yeah we almost got an x because there's so many tits yeah right exactly or yeah like half baked like you won't believe the shit they made us cut out of this like that right type of movie or like a horror movie it kind of suggests there's going to be more gore or something am i is that correct yeah and what's amazing to me about it is like with the horror films and not being scared of them.

And there were some horror films that creeped her out. And she's really good about stopping when she's uncomfortable. She will totally just stop and it's not a problem. But like with the unrated DVDs, she's just interested in the phenomenon. She likes the idea of like knowing what the difference between the theatrical and the but she doesn't care about the boobs. She doesn't care about the swears. She kind of doesn't like swears like she doesn't hate swears, but like she's not crazy about them. She just likes the idea.

She's really interested in the idea of the ratings board. Oh, what 11 year old isn't? I know. It's amazing. It's really, we all had that phase, right? Yeah. Different brains. But what time, how old were you, Brian,

when you started getting into horror movies? Nine or 10. So my mom, I was raised by a single mom also, but she in the seventies was doing a lot of dating and other things. So I was I was left alone a lot. And that's, you know, good things is that's how I found Saturday Night Live when I was 10 years old, the opening season, the first season and was blown away and was like, oh my God, this is for me, you know, and, and, uh, SCTV and stuff like that, that was on late. But that's also how I saw night of the living dead when I shouldn't have been watching it.

And, uh, were you scared of them? I was. And so was, uh, at the exorcist, but I also became obsessed, you know, and then, uh then horror is probably still my favorite genre. But I'm just a big movie lover in general. And I grew up in that time where, you know, you had to rent a VCR before, or at least we did. I was, you know, living in an apartment and my mom wasn't going to buy one. So I used my paper route money to rent a VCR, bring it home for the weekend, and then bring home as many videos as I could carry also, and then watch those movies over and over and over. John Carpenter was a big guy. A big inflection point in my life was when my dad's girlfriend gave us her Vcr i think or maybe she's like i don't know if it was an extra one she had or

something but it was fucking transformational to sounds like a hot vcr jesse yeah like yeah my dad's girlfriend was a box truck uh drove around our neighborhood with the back open yeah i mean like the idea that that having a vcr was a huge deal it was the same when like a big video store opened near my house as opposed to like the little tiny like store-sized video store that maybe had 200 videos or 300 videos. When the big one opened, you were like, oh, dang. Mind-blowing. Or the kids that had cable that you didn't, too.

I had friends that had HBO and Movie Channel before I did. And so I would covet that. I was into it more than they were. So I would spend the night at kids' houses. They'd fall asleep and I would watch The Shining or shit like that in their living room until their parents told me to go to bed. You know, like they'd come in and go, where's my kid? Oh, your kid went to bed hours ago. I'm just sitting in their living room, eating your food and watching your cable.

My my childhood best friend, Jody, his parents were English. And so they had a satellite dish. It was like very like middle-class urban family, but they had a satellite dish to watch East Enders. Oh, okay. Cause that was like a huge shoot. They would watch premier league football as well, but like EastEnders was a huge deal in their family. And the main thing that was on otherwise was Danger Mouse.

And I didn't have cable. And I was like, wow, this is very different from a She-Ra or whatever I was, whatever was going on in my house. She-Ra's terrible though that's his main quality you guys want to um watch a little our friends cables and come back for a little bit more yeah i'm i think red shoe diaries might be on oh hopefully this is the one where we see david dukovny's dick at the very least, I'm hoping for Dream On. Is that the one where- Was that a thing? Is that one where Duchovny hung dong Red Shoe Diaries?

Duchovny hang dong on Showtime, HBO? God, I wasn't aware. This is what our producer, Daniel, should be doing during the break, letting us know which- Daniel is sitting there with his hand under his chin like the fucking thinker when he should be tip tap tippy tapping

David Duchovny hang dong google.com it could be that Daniel just knows this off the dome and that's why he's so cool he's like I'm gonna shoot my shot when it's ready I don't have to look that up Daniel we're gonna take a break

go to Alta Vista and type in David Duchovny's dong. And let's find out. Ooh, go to Mr. Skin. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Hey guys, Jordan here with a really special treat. A rare solo ad break. Yeah, that's right. Jesse's not here and there's no telling what outrageous stuff I'm gonna say. The first outrageous thing I'm going to say,

get ready, buckle up. It's thank you to all the MaxFun members who went to MaximumFun.org slash join and kicked in a little money to keep this show and all the other great shows on the MaxFun network going. The MaxFun Drive is coming up very soon and we've got some really, really cool stuff planned. We always do cool stuff for the Max Fun Drive, but this year is extra super cool. So watch this space and social media for more info on that. And also we are very, very close to our live show at SF Sketch Fest. That's right. The San Francisco Sketch Festival will be hosting Jordan and Jesse Go on Sunday, February 5th at the beautiful Gateway Theater, 8 o'clock. We've got some awesome guests.

We've got Kevin McDonald of Kids in the Hall, Mary Roach of All of the Best Books, Jaleesa Robinson of Stand-Up Comedy, and LaDonia, hit maker extraordinaire. They'll all be with us at SF Sketch Fest. Again, that's Sunday, February 5th at the Gateway Theater, 8 p.m. Get those tickets at sfsketchfest.com. And I also want to tell you about the Aura Ring. That's right. Whether it's mental, physical, or emotional, we can all benefit from more self-knowledge. Understanding your overall health is essential. An aura ring helps you discover how your body is working. Okay, get this.

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episode. And hey, before we get back to the show, I wanted to let you know that the Archie comic that I wrote for, Pop's Chocolate Shop of Horrors, will be hitting shelves at your local comic book store on March 22nd. But you can pre-order it now. down at your local comic bookery to make sure you get your copy of Pop's Chocolate Shop of Horrors, the Archie Comics Horror Extravaganza, when it comes out on March 22nd. It's just $3.99. It's an all-killer, no filler, single issue of comics, two awesome covers. Maybe get yourself one of each of the covers. I't know this was super super fun to do the archie comics horror line is so awesome all your favorite characters in crazy horror scenarios and uh this one is a blast i've been looking at some of the early art and i am thrilled for people to see this once again that's pop's chocolate shop of horrors from archie comics out march 22nd

call your local comic book store and pre-order today. Okay, back to the show. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Brian Pesce, Megadeth rules. Do you think Duke Coveney got ripped for Californication, or do you think he was already ripped?

Because I'm looking at some shirtless Duke Coveney pics, and this dude has fucking stomach muscles. I mean, I think Duke Coveney probably, you know, stays pretty ripped in his day to day. I mean, obviously, you know, goes into overtime training when he's got a big TV role like Californication. But yeah, but I bet he always keeps it tight. He's the number 600 most man-crushed-upon-celebrity- man on mancrushes.com. Okay. So to update the listeners or, you know, for people who are just tuning in,

we were speculating before the break as to whether or not David Duchovny hung Dong in the Red Shoe Diaries, the erotic HBO, you know, mystery thriller from the 80s and 90s. So I think he was in it. Whether or not you can see his dong, that is another matter. I am on a website called leakedmeat.com slash David hyphen Duchovny hyphen nude. And I think I'm seeing some saucy photos of him with like a teacup and a book covering the goods. Jordan, I appreciate you giving the full URL there. I think it's been too long since people really abandoned giving out the full URL.

I would have liked to hear the.htm or.html at the end. Sure, you're right. Sorry, you know, just go to my Tumblr for these. No, so we have Dukovny, hashtag bulge. This is him in a speedo hashtag big dick bulge um hashtag penis hashtag shirtless hashtag oh david dukovny bent over cock and balls from the rapture so i think um there's never that's a long ass hashtag that's what the bible says is gonna happen jordan right first the four horsemen come

gabriel will sound his trumpet will show his cock and balls well bent over bent over cock and balls i'm taking a look at him in the speedo and i'm not it normal. He appears to be normal in that department. Right. Within the typical range and not as yoked as in the other shirtless pictures from Californication. Jesse Thorne, unimpressed. Look. Hard man to please. He's going to have to do a lot more to impress me.

I'm glad I'm not your kid, okay? to impress me. I'm glad I'm not your kid, okay? Can I say this about season two, episode seven of Average Body colon David Duchovny Californication? This is on mancrushes.com slash shirtless slash David dash Duchovny dash Californication dash season two, episode seven dash 2020 dash 11 dash 29. Butt look good. Butt look good but look good okay the butt here really is looking nice got nice shape nice volume but perfectly appropriate sort of a masculine muscular

quality to it i'd love to see this guy bent over with his balls out paws out while Gabriel sounds his horn. Let me just say this. I've never felt so jealous of Miss Taya Leone. Well, we solved the mystery. Hey, is it time for some telephone calls? Yeah, sure. Why the fuck not? When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or just send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org for momentous occasions.

This person has sent us a momentous occasion. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to guest Dan Kennedy of the Moth Podcast. Close. This is Jackson in Minneapolis. Viewer degrees. I'm here in the Natural Foods Co-op. And parked next to me is a roughly 2008 Prius that has

the following bumper stickers on it. One country oval sticker that has the picture of the Vatican City on it. One that says, clear the road, I'm 16. One with, I'm going to call an 80s babe sketch on it that says, cool to be Catholic. And that's two is in the number two, B is in the letter B. One that says, have you called your mother lately? With the Holy Virgin Mary, Mother of God on it.

One, Bush Quail 92 bumper sticker. One, and you thought Dan Quail was an idiot bumper sticker. One, Bush Quail 88 bumper sticker. One, my other car is Dan Quail himself bumper sticker. And one bumper sticker with the Republican elephant on it that says, I'm Catholic and I vote for Dan Quayle in every presidential election as a write-in.

Love you guys. Bye-bye. Are these homemade bumper stickers at this point? Apparently there's an attached photo. Let's, we can take a look at that. You, the listener, can't take a look at it. But we can take a look at it and try and describe it to you. I'm seeing all these.

You can find them. Yeah. You thought. Yeah. You thought Dan Quayle was an idiot. They're all here. Boy, we really we grew up in a real golden age of Dan Quayle jokes, didn't we? My mom never forgave him for talking smack about

Murphy Brown. Can I ask you guys this question? You may. Is there, first of all, I'm having a hard time telling if these are ironic, but I'm kind of leading towards not ironic here. ironic here uh i mean i think so i think so this is such a this is such a bizarre i mean the my other car is dan quayle himself this looks like a custom job because who would yeah who would make that how would that come about i think it's somebody trying to be funny yeah i think this is a someone maybe like got a dan quayle bumper sticker as like a white elephant gift one year at a holiday party and then just kind of like made it their thing. Do we know where that listener called in from? What city that was from?

So that feels like a Berkeley thing. Feels a little, yeah, feels a little Berkeley. Yeah. Like a total liberal who, who hates Dan Quayle always did, but thinks it's funny.

Right. To still like bring it up and put it on his car and still drives a Prius and is proud that he had the first season of Priuses or whatever, the first edition. Yeah, the Prius, I think, is a clue to Brian. I think the Prius, yeah, points to someone who would think that this is the funniest thing in the world. And it's not not funny. I mean, my other car is dan quayle himself if someone right had that made i'm i'm in favor of that it is funny wait jesse so what's your what's your case for this is this is sincere that this is just kind of a madness that it's the confluence of the two themes. So if it was just Dan Quayle stuff, I would say this is somebody who turned their bumper into Dan Quayle stuff. Right.

If it was just the Catholic stuff, I would say, well, this is just Catholic stuff. Oh, I forgot about the Catholic stuff, I would say, well, this is just Catholic stuff. Oh, I forgot about the Catholic thing. Right. Yeah. And I want to add here,

I did a Google search for the phrase. My other car is Dan Quill himself. All I found is a, someone who had, who saw this car and took a picture of it and posted it on twitter although it does not yet have the call your mother bumper sticker this is pre-call your this is from 2019 so it's a few years ago they've since added the call your mother sticker jesse i closed my other window would you search for dan quayle on leakedmeat.com see what comes up he did an episode

of the red shoe diaries yeah he did was that emmanuel did he do emmanuel which one did he do he was in one of those dream sequences from dream on with brian ben ben right i like the expression you were using that i'd never heard so So did Dan Quayle hang dong? That's kind of like a vocal warm up. Did Dan Quayle hang dong? Did Dan Quayle hang dong? I'm glad you brought up Berkeley, Brian Poussain my childhood and teenage years, probably still, there were areas where you could walk down the street and most of the sort of like how you walk down the street in New York and the sidewalk. It's like incense vendors and fruit vendors.

You know what I mean? That are like lined up along the sidewalk. you know what i mean that are like lined up along the sidewalk it's that but for visualized world peas bumper stickers and like the ones that say if the air force had to have a bake sale and everybody got free cookies or whatever right i think that's what made me think of it because yeah i did i did grow up seeing you know uh liberals with funny car or you know funny stickers yeah this is like a little bit funnier than visualize world peace yeah i mean this is a different category this is like if it is a joke this person is trying to go like this person watches a lot of tim and eric or whatever

you know what i mean like this is not like a creature eating the j fish. I feel like that's one that I saw. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nuke the gay baby whales for Jesus. Yeah. I'm going to look, I'm Googling cool to be Catholic. And if it wasn't clear, that's the number two and the letter B on this bumper sticker.

So, yeah, I think some of these are like, we're like purchased ironically and some were custom made. So I think we have a couple of, you know, like funny eBay finds or a couple of funny thrift store finds. Cool to be Catholic, I think, is probably one of them. Have you called your mother? I think that's something you could get at a cool stuff like store with your creepers

and your bong. I'm checking out... Jordan, I got to tell you something. I'm checking out the Cool to be catholic youth rally oh yeah guess where it took place a little place called altadena california wow right in my own backyard i missed it we missed doing a live show there do they have podcasts jordan it had to move indoors because of high temperatures. Right. But being indoors, according to angelusnews.com, being indoors certainly didn't stop the music, impromptu dancing, and lighthearted mood for the hundreds of area youth who came from

all across the Los Angeles Archdiocese for an afternoon of prayer and later pizza. Now, so what was the news source on that? That's Angelus News. That's A-N-G-E-L-U-S. This is a Catholic news website. Yeah. You know, Sister Gorman had a straightforward talk. She said that in today's society, there's so much information, quote, hurled at you.

I just want to give you two things that I hope will grow inside you. One is the story of a Catholic girl in China who was killed by communists, and also a modern-day prodigal son who leaves his home. Oh, wow. This is an incredible story, guys. Are you ready for this?

I'm ready to receive the Lord. Yes. Okay. Well, let me get my feet up. Just remember, when I give you these wafers, that's the literal body of Christ. She also described a modern day prodigal son story with a young boy leaving home. After a while, he wants to see his parents again, and with the help of others, he makes it back home. Still, he's scared whether his parents will accept him. He texts his parents, telling them if they want to see him, just leave a light on on the front porch. When he approaches his home, the whole house is lit up. approaches his home, the whole house is lit up. Beautiful.

So that's AngelList.com's account of the event. What does it say on- Cool to be Catholic. What does it say on LeakedMeat.com about it? I'll tell you this. And Jordan, I'm not trying to be rude or vulgar or of course not but the ass on sister gorman i mean this but the muscularity it's duke of any ask i can only describe it as duke of any ask i mean no i mean when and when i think about the love of the lord my meat's the one that's leaking. Yeah, absolutely. You indicated your nipples, baby. Did I just gross out Brian Posehn? Jesus Christ. Have you heard your act? Okay. So we have been talking

on the program and welcoming your calls on the program about the most embarrassing things you did on the internet in its early days. We've had some real juicy joints and i'm excited to hear this one but brian let me ask you this were you on the internet in the early days were you dialing up yeah i i used to have a bit about uh i i met a girl online who wanted to have online sex but uh doing it cat style and i don't really remember the bit but it really happened uh this girl was like something kitty something 69 or whatever and uh we talked and we met and she started to send messages to me that this is like dial up and you know when it would take forever to do this sort of thing probably i'm gonna say 97 or 8 aol does that sound about right sure i had that so wait hold on so so wait i want to this is sounding familiar to me this kitty style thing well i did a bit yeah

i did a bit about it and she was like yeah i can't remember exactly what was the bit and what was what she said and what it was exaggerated but it basically became you know dirty and like i'm licking your penis with my sandpapery tongue and stuff like that but that that's where i took it she was just like she was like i'm in your lap per and it was kind of it was we had a call a week or two ago not very it wasn't super sexual at first it was like oh she's being a cat and then then it started to get dirty and then i'm like but i don't want to fuck a cat was my thing in the deck was like this isn't my fantasy your fantasy might be to be a cat and be you know have sex with a man that's not my thing i would let a cat fuck me because of their incredible penis i'd just be interested to know you want to get those barbs in there if it was a cat man i don't i'm not a you know what i mean like i wouldn't have like from dc comics earth 2 cat man earth one yeah which one jesse which who's your who's your cat man of

choice it would be a bizarro planet cat man so dog man i don't like fur i like that kind of geodesic dome gray rock skin hy Hypoallergenic Catman. Yeah. I want to talk to Catman from Earth 3 where Superman is bad instead of good. So I think we had someone write in with a similar thing. Daniel is nodding, confirming. Brian, I don't know if this was like a popular online thing or you and our listener just happened across the same chat room or they stole my bit or they stole your bit yeah that could be it too people are just writing into

our show with your bits well yeah hey if you if you also had a run-in with a cat fucking lady please email us jordanjessiegoe at aol.com a real email address that we actually have. But this person emailed this confession to that address. Here it is. Back in the 1996-ish timeframe, I was responsible for installing and troubleshooting high-speed cable modem services for the company I worked for. While I did this work in homes, part of the process was showing the customer the service worked and how fast the service worked. During a trouble call for slow speeds after fixing the issue, I went to show the customer pages were loading and loading quickly. I quickly typed in the first web address that popped into my head.

And before I knew it, the middle-aged female customer and I were seeing a plethora of images of free porn videos. I couldn't get away from that site quick enough. porn videos. I couldn't get away from that site quick enough. Wait, so this emailer is the one who typed in the pornography website? Yeah, I guess so. I guess it was just kind of a muscle memory thing, you know? Like you just... That is pretty... I mean, when you consider that Brian Posehn got fired for silence, imagine how fired you can get for accidentally typing in a pornographic website at a customer's house inside their home. And also, to make this more appalling, it was 1996. So think of how low quality these images were. Extraordinarily so. They should have just gone down to Poseidon's video store and hit the vault.

Hey, you guys want to hit the vault and then come back for a little bit more? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. They can be anywhere. At your office. In your car. And they are wrong. My mom says that the Grey House didn't exist. But she's wrong.

He just doesn't wrong. Someone in your life is wrong about something. Something small. Something weird. Something vitally important. Only one person has the courage to tell them just how wrong they are. You know what you did was wrong, but your daughter is a liar who eats garbage. They call me Judge John Hodgman.

Listen to me on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. If someone in your life is doing you wrong, don't just take it. Take it to court. Submit your case at MaximumFun.org slash JJHO. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, I'm Alex Schmidt. And I'm Katie Golden. And we make Secretly Incredibly Fascinating,

a podcast about why seemingly ordinary stuff is actually the title of the podcast. Using tons of research, we take a joyful look at history and science and stories and jokes about the ordinary stuff in your life, because that's what makes those things amazing. Also jokes. So get excited about paperclips. Get thrilled about pigeons. Get all psyched up and running around the room about the imperial system of weights and measurements. For real, there's whole episodes about that stuff. Hear them anytime and hear new episodes Mondays at MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Brian Pessin, coupon the movie. Coupon the movie. That's my nickname. Coupon the movie, the person. A Mr. Show reference always endears anyone to me. If anyone can casually drop a Mr. Show reference in conversation, I automatically love them. It's such a specific little pocket of comedy nerddom. So I didn't watch it for years, but I've just been watching stuff lately because my son wanted to see. So I was watching, making sure which sketches were appropriate and which weren't.

And so, yeah, man, I'm still so proud of that. You should be. It's great. Just being a part of that thing. The other day, someone who was not a comedy nerd, as far as I knew, said something about Batman the horse. And I was able to connect with them by bringing up Mr. Fast Horse. It's not like his name at all. Real slow like and it was just a really powerful connection and then we both together just as friends did that move that van hammersley the teaching by billiards guy does where he snaps claps and then does a voila i'm so happy that the world is coming around to how fucking awesome bob odenkirk is because i've always been his biggest fan like working for him and and he yelled at me but i still not just in the context of every

comedy sketch he's ever done oh no no out making comedy sketches i get yelled at right or not greeting the customers no i got yelled at to quit being a fucking baby what kind of baby were you being posain uh in the room i'm complaining about something i don't know or you know my my feelings got hurt by something and he told me to man up and and by yelling at me you spilled your baggie of Cheerios everywhere. But I take it. I learned so much from him and laugh so much, you know, and still I'm his biggest fan and still since then. I will never forget. He was nice enough to come on The Sound of Young America. I think maybe that was after you had got moved to L.A., Jordan. But he was nice enough to come on the sound of young America in like his,

before he became a famous and celebrated actor when he was directing movies and stuff. And I remember him just unfurling reams of his carefully considered theories about comedy. I was like, this guy has more like thoughts and schemes about this than anyone I have ever talked to in my life. And I was just like, please give me more of your complicated ideas about what makes something work or not work with regards to what happens when you open and close the door on the set. That was one of the things. And I was just the greatest shit. And I wasn't even sure if I agreed or whatever. I was just pumped that he had

such well-developed ideas about it. Yeah, man. Anytime someone brings up Globochem to me in casual conversation, I'm all about it. Pit Pat. Yeah, well, so that whole first season, I was talking to somebody who didn't know this. I'm sure you know this, but those guys wrote the first season alone, the first four episodes this is awesome just shoot this and that's what they did and then you know then they brought us in for second season when they actually needed

some help but they didn't like i don't think they ever needed a writing staff they could have done you know four seasons without us and there might be some better sketches in there than some of the stuff we contributed but i was so happy to be a part of it yeah i love i love all your all your bits in mr show are so funny and uh yeah you've gone on to work in some of the fucking funniest shit in history so well done and you also do some really lovely like reflecting on your career in your new stand up special it's really nice it's really nice to like hear you express how lucky you feel on stage. It's a really like lovely moment that you don't hear in standup comedy a lot.

It was, it's, it was really beautiful. It made me misty. Thanks, man. I miss the special thrill of seeing Brian Posehn guy. I love from Mr.

Show have four scenes in an episode of a sitcom. Just the era when Brian's, like a huge chunk of Brian's non-standup career was just having a guest shot in two sitcoms a year. And you'd just be watching primetime television, a show you wouldn't ordinarily watch. And then you go, oh shit, there goes Brian Posehn from Mr. Show. Yeah. One of your accomplishments you mentioned being thankful for is knowing the two nice guys from Metallica. Yes. That's true.

I like saying things like that because then people are like, hey, wait, oh. It's Newsstand, right? It's got to be Newsstand, right? No. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Brian, the special is so funny. It's everywhere. You can stream a thing, you can buy it, you can listen to it on Apple Music, Spotify,

all that stuff. And people really should. It's so, so funny. And with some really sweet moments, too. Brian Posehn, one of the best. Thanks, you guys. Posehn and Non Grata is the name of the special. Go check it out. Get it on your information tunes on your whatever platform you please. Go grab it. And I know this will just fall on deaf ears. This is clearly not something I would recommend to our audience, but just, you know, for the sake of saying, and I don't imagine anyone will be interested in this, but you host a great D&D podcast with Blaine Kapach. I don't know if anyone would give a shit listening to this, but...

No one is really into that kind of thing. But nerd poker. It's a ton of fun. Yeah, man. Just so you know, Brian, most of our listeners are jocks. Right. Okay. Daniel Zafran, our producer.

Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, our producer emeritus. You can find us online at MaximumFun.org. We're on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. On Twitter at JordanJesseGo. We are on Instagram at JordanDavidMorris at put.this.on. On Facebook at Facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo. Daniel has been making some, I don't know if you've noticed this, Jordan, cool video clips and dank memes. Dank memes, cool clips,

shareable yucks, all kinds of great stuff. We will see everybody at San Francisco sketch fest. We're really looking forward to it. We're going to have a great time. We just booked La Doña, one of my favorite Bay area musicians. She's super cool and funny as well.

Look, we're bringing you a fucking kids in the hall. What more do you want than a kids in the hall what what more do you want than a kid in the hall yeah right if you recognize coupon the movie you will be glad to see we have a real life kid in the hall and you know what kevin mcdonald that's the one we got one of the assholes from metallica how about that try that on for size we didn't really god that would be great if we got one of the assholes from metallica that'd be a lot of fun huge for us if anybody knows one of the metallica assholes

please let them know you know what we'll take one of the nice guys we don't give a shit anybody from metallica or any band that every year sings the national anthem at the giants game and there's like a t-shirt that combines their logo with the Giants. I think it's just Metallica. Yeah. Well, now that the Grateful Dead are almost all dead, maybe the one surviving Grateful Dead goes there or whatever. Okay.

That's it. I mean, we're done, right? We'll see you at sketch fast. Goodbye. Good night. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.