Jordan, Jesse, GO! - I'm A Cumber-Bitch, with Drea Clark

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

Hot off the pod presses, JJGo welcomes back Drea Clark of Maximum Film to talk Benedict Cumberbatch, Minnesota accents, and curating Geena Davis's own Bentonville Film Festival.Pre-order Jordan's upcoming Archie Horror comic "Camp Pickens" at your local comic shop NOW with code APR231183! On shelves 6/21! Get your signed copy at Golden Apple Comics.Go check out all of the delicious options at Nuts.com/jjgo. New customers will get a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. What are you doing to celebrate the season, Jordan? Um, the spring season? May? May? Loquat season, Jordanordan get with the program oh my gosh i had no idea i i didn't write it down walk down one street jordan for once in your life walk one block

down one street i don't wanna i don't wanna walk down one block. Who knows what could happen? Does baby need a binky? I need a binky. Binky doesn't make me walk one block. Binky doesn't make me. I'm going to go live with binky. Jesse and I live together. It never comes up on the show. And Jordan's divorce attorney has very unusual strategies.

There are more loquats. First of all, do you think, does our audience know what a loquat is called? I think it's also called a Japanese plum or something like that. Do you know what a loquat is, Jordan? Yeah, I can kind of picture it. A cum quad is... I mean, when it comes to quads, I'm all about the cum. If we're talking quads, your boy's going to cum.

Young, dumb, and full of cum quads. My favorite line for Point Break. A cum quad is like a small small terrible tangerine sure it's like if a tangerine was a little citrus yeah much smaller and much worse like it tasted not inedibly bad but not far from it's it's basically coasting on the fact that it's got a great name. Exactly. Like that Lake Titty Caca. Let's... Actually, terrible lake. Awful lake.

But it's called Titty Caca, so everybody wants to go. You know, I got dunked in Titty Caca. More like Lake Inferior. Okay, hold on. I was having fun, but you just got mean. Aloquia. You're toxic, jesse you're a toxic lake fan looks a little bit like a like a half size apricot okay or like half an apricot half a guava it's a little guava shaped but apricot colored, sort of a small. And here in Southern California, where as our friend Nick Adams loves to point out, we live in a wonderland of free and available fruit, where just fruit is, because we've leveled in so many fruit orchards of various kinds to

build our city, there are miscellaneous fruit trees across our great city. My neighbor has a loquat tree. I don't know how anyone could ever eat as many loquats as are on a loquat tree. I have another neighbor a block away who I saw out in his front yard just cutting boughs off of his loquat tree to pile them in the street in case anyone wanted them. These are fruitful trees, it sounds like. But the problem is, Jordan,

loquats are awful so all so what so you're saying anything with the quad suffix is bad this is what happened so if you post something on social media what do you do about low quads there's too many low quads right it's a low quad population people don't know it's a fruit. They think you're being racist. Yeah. I took a hard right turn. Apparently this is a slur for the Portuguese. Um, I,

it's back to the early 1900s. Yeah. I, uh, you will find that you can make like a shrub to drink kind of shrub or you can make like a jam out of low quats okay but the reality is this jordan you can make a jam out of any fucking thing you boil it enough and add enough sugar anything's. Right. And if you can start with a fruit that's delicious on its own, it's probably going to be a better jam than this loquat that you got to gussy up.

The amount of fucking seeds you would have to put in skin, you would have to strain out of this loquat soup to make it into a jam. And at the end, it's loquat jam. No one wants it. No one even wants your fucking homemade marmalade. They just want to go to the store, get some smuckers, and call it a day. You know what I mean? Yeah, I hear you, man.

It's fucking loquat. Who's planting loquats? I don't know. Somebody. Maybe they're just kind of, it seems like maybe they're planting themselves. You know, just they're so, you know, they're so abundant that those. They're certainly planting themselves in my driveway. I'll tell you that right now.

Oh my gosh. Gross brown splotches. Are they attracting animals? Like it seems like something that, or do the animals not even want them? I don't know. What animal do you think eats a loquat? Probably an ostrich. Maybe an ostrich.

Yeah. That's my best guess. I can't say that for sure i haven't observed any fucking ostriches in the yard again chase them off with a broom and they kick you to death that one sharp toe in the middle oh yeah they get you with that oh man billy got eviscerated by an ostrich again. Well, they were in the trash. He tried to chase them off. Get back inside.

Get back inside, Billy. Fucking Billy. Jeez, how many abdominal surgeries do you want to have to get? Reconstituting your abdomen. You could just put, like, an orange tree. Sure. There's too many. Like, I'm not going to tell you there aren't too many oranges on an orange tree

There are I guess you know with a lemon too Nobody's biting into a lemon But it's a useful fruit You can use it for cooking If you got a lemon tree In your yard Great news

Whenever you need a lemon you just go out in the yard and grab it Grab a lemon Get yourself one of those finger Get yourself one of those finger. Zest up whatever. Have something that needs zest. Get yourself one of those finger poles. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah.

With a little basket. Those are fun. You can pull them down. Bring them down to the neighborhood food pantry. You know what I mean? You got a casual food pantry. Pick a bunch of lemons. Pick a bag full of lemons.

Bring them down there. Some little old ladies are going to love those lemons. They're going to make lemonade. What happens if you bring a big bag full of loquats down to the neighborhood food pantry? Those little old ladies are going to kick you to death like an ostrich. Exactly. They have one long claw.

A lot of trouble with ostriches is the first thing that's going to fucking happen. Right. I don't know why I'm so mad at these loquats. It's just there's so many of them and no one wants any of them. You've got to be mad at something, huh? Yeah. Otherwise, how can I deliver my signature rants? Right.

Andy Rooney didn't go on 60 Minutes every night saying, things are great. It's me, Andy Rooney. I like kumquats. I like how they're like little bitter oranges. I love my friend's bad jams. You know what they're good for? Quats? Still talking low quats?

We're talking about quads in general. Backyard baseball. Hit one of those with a baseball bat into your neighbor's yard. That's how you know you're living. Your neighbor will yell at you. That was my experience. But you know,

you've earned it. You've had some fun. That's right. The crack of the bat. I mean, the crack of the bat. The crack of the bat. I mean, the crack of the bat. The crack of the bat, the spray of the quat. That's America. That's my America. Talk about my wedding night. I don't know.

I just complained about fruit. Fuck it. Might as well. Might as well. Might as well just complain about local fruits. Our guest on the program is one of the hosts of Maximum Fun's own Maximum Film, Drea Clark. Hi, Drea. How are you? I want you to know I've just been sitting back here with an Andy Rooney, just primed and ready to throw into this conversation. And then Jordan Morris let one rip without me. Sorry. I beat you to the Rooney.

We're all in the same. You're not the first. You won't be the last. I'm so happy to be here. One of my favorite vibes you guys give out is old man yells at clouds and so to just be here right oh when it's at its most potent right we are the podcast version of many popular memes yes i'm gonna coast on that so thrilled sometimes like drake we look away from something and then sometimes we'll look at it like, oh yeah. Hold on, Jordan. I'm disappearing into the corn.

Sorry to be Simpsons guy here, but it's not corn. It's Flanders bushes. Ah, yes. Correct him. That's even better than yelling at the clouds. Yeah, this is my correcting that Simpsons meme makes me a different Simpsons meme. Yes. A meme semantic. We support.

I appreciate it. I always wondered what, what Homer was doing in Field of Dreams. Yeah. Make a ton of sense. He built it. I was wondering if someone was going to come. Ray Liotta's gained a lot of weight. I said to myself.

Ray Liotta is now a different level of dimensions. He died recently? Yes. R.I.P. to a legend. Disappeared into the corn of existence. Shoeless Joe. Shoeless Joe.

Shoeless Joe. He wasn't actually Shoeless Joe, though. Wasn't he? No, no. Shoeless Joe. He wasn't actually Shoeless Joe, though. He wasn't he? Wasn't he? No, no. Shoeless Joe was the doctor. No, wait. Shoeless Joe was a different guy.

And Ray Liotta was Costner's dad. Oh, you're right. And the doctor is Moonlight Graham. Absolutely, yep. It's been a while since Costner has cranked out a baseball movie. I'd love to see another. Let's spend that capital. No, Tin Cup is a golf movie. Yeah.

Spend the capital from Yosemite on baseball movies. Yellowstone? Yellowstone. Yellowstone. He's making a big-ass Western. That's why he's leaving Yellowstone. Really? Yeah, it seems why he's leaving Yellowstone. Really? Yeah.

It seems like there's three Costners. Within us all, there are three Costners. Two wolves, three Costners, and they do not get along. You know, you got Western Costner. Yeah. Right. Open Range is one of my favorite films. Great movie.

You got Baseball Costner. And then you have Sci-Fi Fiasco. We've been getting a lot of Western Costner lately. Anybody see Let Him Go? That's maybe a... Anyway, great movie. Great Western Costner. But yeah, now I think it's either... Because he's wrapping up this this yellow stone that if

by the way yosemite is the yosemite some call it yeah by the way jelly stone yeah jelly stone um yeah we have costumes always after picnic baskets but in a kind of a world weary way like he's a man who's stolen stolen too many picnic baskets and it's taken its toll when you steal a picnic basket a little bit of your soul leaves can i just say one thing jordan right this is related to both costner and what you were saying before i think we've been letting the Grand Tetons slide for too long. Wow. Based on their fun name.

Thank you, yes. And hey, is there a more overrated bird than the titmouse? No. It's coasting on that name. Big deal. Tweet, tweet. When I was growing up, in the basement, there was a poster from my dad's college days that said ski the Grand Tetons.

And it was like a skier going down cleavage of big boobs. Hell yeah. Your dad sounds great. Dick Clark. Yeah. One of a kind, but not one of a name. But he, that poster is embedded in my head. I don't think I've thought of it for like 40 years.

Did your dad have like a dad basement with like, you know, Ferrari posters and stuff? It was a hidden poster. And I'm pretty sure when I mentioned it, never seen again. Like it was like in things, in the crawl space. And he's like, no, those days are behind me. He's no longer that guy. He's a, you know, distant cycling guy. I went to my. Most middle He's no longer that guy. He's a, you know, distant cycling guy. I went to my middle-aged men.

I went to my childhood best buddies, Pete's wedding recently in New Orleans had a long conversation with his older brother. His last name is Fraunfelder, Swiss last name, I guess. And they had a big beer poster in their den that was uh an endorsement from the swiss family frauenfelder i was just so fucking jealous i didn't have a family yeah you're i'm a clark yeah i'm next thorn and morris you guys get it there's nothing exciting here you got a solid bar i do have a solid there's the bar nobody likes a clark bar you would be so furious you'd be like just give me a loquat what is this

get out of here dump some nougat on a loquat yeah uh wait i guess i don't know what's in a clark bar off the dome peanut butter bar isn't it okay i have to say as a clark who does not get any of the uh you know pay off the cl of the Clark bar, not trying to win. Are you really here to talk down about the first American combination candy bar to achieve nationwide success? So I brought you here today so that I can talk down about the first American candy bar that achieved any. I'm so glad that we're finally getting to the agenda item. I really wanted to bullet point. Thank you.

It's spun taffy surrounded by peanut butter. Honestly, this Clark bar looks pretty good. I can, yeah, now that you say the spun taffy thing, I can imagine. I think I've had some Clark bars in my day and I think I like them. I don't like any of those words together. You hate spun taffy?

Get out of here. Yeah, I wonder if spun taffy is different than pulled taffy. I'm looking at the picture. It looks I wonder if spun taffy is different than pulled taffy. Because you usually think about taffy as being pulled. I'm looking at the picture. It looks lighter. Pulled taffy is like that stuff that you can watch and make on a boardwalk, right? Where they're just like, wachaw, wachaw.

Like the big old armfuls of candy. Yes. You know, that classic taffy making noise. Wachaw, wachaw. Yeah, yeah. Yes. We all know the wachaw of the taffy machine, symbolizing the beginning of summer. I'm in for a case of Clark bars.

You want to go half with me, Jordan? Yeah, absolutely. Great. Sounds good to me. I'll take a gross. Can I return to one of our beloved topics? I would love to return to one of our beloved topics. It maybe actually encompasses two of our beloved topics.

Just to kind of reset here for new folks, folks who are occasional listeners. Andrea, maybe for you, maybe you have some thoughts on this. Jesse and I, I don't know if we coined this or not, but we definitely are fans of the rule. We sexualized it. We sexualized it. We were the first ones to crank off to this concept. People said it couldn't be done, but we cranked.

We, Jesse and I, are big fans of the etiquette rule. If you think someone looks like a celebrity don't tell them that unless that celebrity is famous for being good looking 100 it doesn't have to be the only thing that they're famous for sure but it has to be something that they are specifically famous for so that it's an inherent compliment for you to so like uh i met paul dano once he was on bullseye once years ago he's very handsome very arrestingly handsome man i would never say to somebody, you look like Paul Dano.

Paul Dano not famous for being handsome. He plays more character-y type roles, you know. And, you know, I think the characters he plays are supposed to be kind of weirdo, wacky outsiders. You will get back to you, well, I think Steve Buscemimi is attractive as though you have suggested steve buscemi isn't attractive and it's not about whether he is or isn't he's amazing he's a brilliant genius who's aesthetically arresting and you may or may not be into that but certainly his arresting quality is part of his extraordinary gifts. I won't deny any of that.

Not famous for being handsome, so don't tell somebody that they look like him. Don't tell somebody they look like me and Jordan. Yeah, oh God, no. We're extraordinarily handsome, but the audience at home can't tell. That has two problems. One, well, the first one is they probably won't know who you're talking about uh-huh yeah and then two you know our actual books yeah uh our looks are great jordan oh yeah they are we have incredible looks it's just that we're famous for being hilarious sure yes that

it's it's that it's not the top of the list, but it's certainly on the list. Trey, do you have somebody you've gotten throughout your life? I don't. Well, when I first moved out here, I'm Midwestern. I'm from Minnesota. And my accent's tampered down a bit, although it is my easiest way when I'm tired or if I think I'm being funny. I'm not being funny, but when I think I'm being funny, I'll do a Minnesota accent. But when I first moved out here in my youth, I got Joan Cusack a fair amount, which I got more of a vibe thing than like direct. Oh, you definitely resemble this woman. And I'll tell you, though, that the highest compliment anyone ever gave me is a filmmaker at a film festival one time told me that um i uh i reminded

them of like again more of a vibe thing of jenna rollins and i was like what's that internationally handsome actress jenna rollins i guess i don't know who jenna rollins is off the dome uh she's married to john cassavetes woman under the influence she's, you would know the older woman in the notebook. This is really, this is the kind of thing that you should focus on telling people at film festivals. We're going to need a separate, right. We're going to need a separate category specifically for cocktail parties at

film festivals. If you're two things you can say, if you are talking to someone and Elvis Mitchell is standing there. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I guess in that situation, you look like Jim Jarmusch is a compliment. That's I mean, Jim Jarmusch, that's always a compliment for sure. There's a few different situations where, I mean, I would say any talking heads concert, REM concert,

you can tell people they look like Jim Jarmusch. Right. That's fair. Yeah. That's a good litmus of the kind of social activities I'm interested in. Yeah. If I call someone Jim Jarmusch there, will they be pleased or clueless? I'm going to the pleased one. Yeah.

Dre, I want to take a quick detour into your, your accent that comes out. Um, I don't, I guess I don't know if you drink or not, but I feel like I hear from people that like, Oh, my accent that I kind of got rid of comes out when I drink. Is that something you find to be true? I don't drink a ton. I've I'm just naturally real square. It's, it's not like a judgment call or anything. Just I have the palette of a kindergartner. So it's more that. But it definitely does. But I regularly and I so I do it kind of subconsciously, but to like a punctuate something funny.

I'm like, oh, yeah, Chad Jordan, you got to be kidding me with that. Like, I find that very funny. But I've done that. Me, too. Thank you. I did my junior year of college i went to i was in studying in england i was traveling and i went to ireland or no i was in england and i did like the minnesota punctuation and someone was like that is the worst irish accent i've ever

heard and i've questioned my uh i was like oh no that's the accent? Oh, come on, guys. Oh, no. This is a horrible Norwegian accent. You sit down. You have a nice. Oh, Danny boy there. Exactly. Well, it's really. And I've been gone for so long that my own Minnesota accent has actually turned into like Maria Bamford doing a Minnesota accent. Like Maria Bamford meets Rose Nyland from the Golden Girls.

It's a, for me, a highly comedic sweet spot. Just the Maria Bamford, Rose Nyland. My stepmother is from Belfast in Northern Ireland, but she moved to, she moved to first France and then the United States states as like a teenager as a 16 17 year old and so she doesn't really have a strong accent except if she's pissed off at you at which point fucking no holds barred all just you feckin something. Feckin's my favorite. Jesus.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. She goes full dairy girls. Feckin'. Get your feckin'. Your feckin' father. Being yelled at by one of the bad sisters. So I'm experiencing a new wave of you look like this is because you grew a big handsome beard i grew up here and for the for the listener at home i don't casually describe jordan's beard

as handsome there is universal agreement that jordan is zaddy it's i'm not i haven't said it some have said it i'm not saying i'll back you up thank you i'll back that up yeah i appreciate it and yeah so reaction to the beard has been pretty positive and i'm enjoying it but it is inviting a new wave of here's who i think you look like from people on the street strangers in the comments that now mostly my experience jordan has been that anytime i have changed my facial hair in any various direction people just tell me that i look like a molester because it doesn't matter what change i've done To my hair Grow a mustache, grow a beard Shave off the mustache, shave off the beard

Always You don't get the Pringles guy? He's never molested anyone Well Oh no Oh no Let's just say he's got a really good lawyer Okay So Well, oh no. Let's just say he's got a really good lawyer.

Okay. So, you know, will I take a zaddy in the comments of my Insta? Absolutely. Love it. But I started getting Zach Galifianakis. You look like Zach Galifianakis. Okay. Now. Now let's start with a stipulation here.

Sure. Zach Galifianakis. A brilliant talent and at least in my experience from the time that the writer's office of his television show was in the same building as MaxFunHQ one of the loveliest guys ever. Just the sweetest dude

in the world and a level 10 comedy genius yeah one of the best so but and you know something else we should we should say going into this is my skin too thin absolutely yes 100 am i a baby. Jordan, no skin is too thin. No such thing as too thin skin. Is that a challenge? I can get upset about a lot of things. Hold on. Let me type some stuff into this Reddit search bar. I was on a podcast the other day, and they released it to their feed. And I looked at my my episode and it was a lot shorter than the other episodes

and then I felt bad. I'm like, what? Did I not do a good enough job? Yeah. The other one's 50, Josh Gondelman was 50 minutes. God damn it. How come we're not on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me?

It did a solid 15 more minutes with Gondelman than they did with me. Anyway. So yes. Is my skin too thin? Yes, it is. I don't know why. So someone has recently, at least one someone, if not more than one someone, has recently told you what they think is a compliment of, oh, you know that you look like Zach Galifianakis now.

Yes. And then after you go cry in your crib or whatever appropriate behavior you have. You go digging for your binky. Yeah, I go suck on binky in my quib. Um, so has it ever been that then they are like, they are immediately aware that you are not thrilled with that comparison? Is there a backpedaling? Is there a, do you bite your thumb at them?

Do you, you know, give them like, slap them with your glove? Yes, that's why I wear white linen gloves everywhere in case someone tells me I look like someone and I can swat them and challenge them to a duel. No, you know, I'm kind of just not responding to those sorts of comments. Just dropping the scrim across your face? Yeah. comments just dropping the scrim across your face yeah but so you know so i wasn't that's about zach galifianakis and then i started getting jack black and i was shocked that my feeling about those comments was totally different oh interesting because i think and this is something i sense in the culture and let me know if y'all agree i do think a lot of people are horny for jack black

oh i would french the shit out of both of those gentlemen i'll say that like get me out of french kissing what what's that no no you don't know about Frenching the shit. No. Spray mustard on someone. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about shit. It involves a white linen glove. No, I find all the fine intimacies do.

Yeah. Both Zach Galifianakis and Jack Black are empirically handsome to me that that there's like above and beyond. Jack Black are empirically handsome to me that, that there's like above and beyond, uh, they have the things that you want of, oh, that person looks like they would be fun to hang out with and therefore are automatically better to make out with. I think that they're both handsome, but you're right. The difference is Jack Black is sexy. It's a, it's a, it's a very, it's a thin line, right? Not every handsome person or at whatever level you want to call it conventional, not every attractive person is sexy. Not every sexy person is empirically attractive. Jeff Black, I think, ticks both. that a handsome person sings normally but a sexy person adds a lot of squibbity-doo sense

squibbity yeah squab squibby squab right there's a lot more lunging in a sexy person like just a lunge a performative lunge a casual lun, a lot of hand motions right near their face while they're singing and talking. Yeah, that's just built in. Bo Derek, known for that. Sure, Billy Blanks. Yeah, sexy people across history are known for all of those things. The squibbity-doo lunge. Lunges, hand movements, saying squibbity-doo.

I've never heard Billy Blanks sing but I presume that he would add squib based on his propensity for lunges and hand movements yes yeah I feel like I want to like amend my own rule in some way to allow for like

yeah there are some people who are more comedy character actor type people who do invite a certain horniness and for that and i guess i'm okay with that i don't know it's a it's a hard thing to put my finger on no growing really fast for a baby i just want you to say no that like good for you watching this evolution in real time. As we've been talking, I lost my soft spot. My fucking hell hardened up as we've been speaking. I want to express something here, though.

Sure. And I think it's okay for me to say this, because I think that these, both of these guys are wonderful examples here. I would be offended by being told I look like either of these men. Now, first of all, again, obviously, there's no – the thickness of my skin currently asymptotic to zero. it's approaching zero infinitely small numbers and i think this is a great example for this reason i think that both of those guys are good looking guys and i think that there are plenty of people who are horny for both of them yeah agree either of them are they famous for

being good looking no they're famous for their talent okay they're of course they're good looking they're in film and television sure but they're not famous for being good looking may i ask then of celebrities who are working beyond just being models, if we take models out of the equation, who do you then think qualifies as famous for beautiful? Almost any dramatic film and television star. Like, if you're top lining an American, I'm excluding British film and television here, obviously, but if you're top lining an American dramatic film or television program, almost certainly you're famous for being good looking in part.

In part though. I mean, it's, but it's fine. It's okay for it to be in part. In part though. I mean, it's, but it's fine. It's okay for it to be in part. You don't have to exclusively. Does Benedict Cumberbatch fall under that? Okay.

So that, okay. Benedict Cumberbatch is the, is the, is he is the real, he's the, this is where things get sticky. Yeah.

Absolutely. Because we're all jacking off on Benedict Cumberbatch. It's the Cumberbatch line. But I think like for Jack Black, I think Benedict Cumberbatch does play more character-y roles. He plays more eccentric weirdos, but- But they're lead characters too.

Yeah, they're leads, but also just kind of built into the public idea of Benedict Cumberbatch is the fact that there are a lot of people who are horny for him. Yes. And I think that has not always been the case with Jack Black, but I think for whatever reason, and maybe even his his kind of like social media presence has something to do with it because he does like run around in a speedo a lot in a way that is like both hilarious and kind of arousing you know like it is a kind of an arousing confidence you just described a speedo my guy right here hilarious and arousing yeah here's something about benedict cumberbatch that i think is what makes him such an edge case in this situation i would say

benedict cumberbatch is famous for being good looking i think i don't think that well i think people may want to get extra credit for finding Benedict Cumberbatch attractive, which can be a little exhausting. That's fair. That's fair. What you're saying is fair. I do think that he's famous for being good looking. If you gave me the choice to have someone say, you look like Jack Black or you look like Benedict Cumberbatch, I think I might pick Jack Black, which is because... You hate the British. Benedict Cumberbatch is doing a high wire act. The point of Benedict Cumberbatch's good looks is how weird looking can you be and still be conventionally handsome? Like Benedict Cumberbatch has the face of a space alien, but it's a beautiful space alien.

Yes. And when you are being compared to someone, the assumption is that you're a worse version of that person's looks there's no no one is no one is ever saying to us you look like x celebrity who's less good looking than we are right you, that's never going to happen. So the problem is that if you take Benedict Cumberbatch as a 10, but if you knock one point off him, he doesn't go to a nine. All of a sudden he's a two because of the high wire act that he is working. Fascinating. high wire act that he is working fascinating all of a sudden he is someone that that like jumps out at you from behind a corner in victorian england like from a from a smelly garbage shirt he's just been in an opium den he has one of those plague doctor um hook masks in his hand that he's just taken off. Truly, if you take Benedict Cumberbatch, who again is gorgeous and deservedly famous for his good looks, you take him down one or two and he has to cover his face with a half mask. And that's why I don't want to be compared to him because the presumption is that I'm less good looking than him. I know I'm not as good looking.

I know I'm not as good looking as Benedict Cumberbatch. But if I'm a slightly worse looking version of Benedict, like let's say Jack Black is an eight or a nine or something. You know what I mean? In the context of normal human beings. You take him down a one or two. Hey, great. I'm a six or a seven. You know what I mean? I'll take it. Now with Cumberbatch, one down is all the way down. There's just a slide. There's just a dipsy do as our Australian friends would say sure there's no in between there's no tate in the cumberbatch the cover so the cumberbatch line it defies numerology like there's no got you and i think cumberbatch is really special because like like i said i've met dano who's also a gorgeous alien right and dano is really handsome like charismatic, but not famous for being handsome in the way that Cumberbatch is. And I maintain that line.

But Cumberbatch to me, there are very few Cumberbatches in the world. There are very few people famous for being good looking where I would have any concern about being a three out of 10 less good looking version of them. Let's go around the horn. What's everybody's favorite funny word we've been saying a lot this episode? Cumberbatch, quat, or titty caca. I'm going to go, I'm a quat man. Yeah, I'm all quat. That was easy. Drea? Yeah, I'm a cumberbitch here. I can't step away from that. One time I posted the interview I did with Benedict Cumberbatch on Tumblr. You guys remember Tumblr?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. And I had never, I've never done anything more successful on any social media outlet ever than posting an audio interview with Benedict Cumberbatch on Tumblr. The type of media that people most despise on all social media platforms. But you put Cumberbatch plus Tumblr into internet and it just comes back infinity. White hot. Yeah. But I think the, the number you're missing from that equation is, uh, 2011. Oh yeah. I was going to suggest 69. Yeah, two. You guys want to, uh, do a little Cumberbatch 69 and then come back for some more. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. A Jordan Morris boy detective. Every episode of Jordan, Jesse Goh is supported by the members of Maximum Fun, who, by the way, are probably not even listening to this right now because they're too busy listening to Stash Rules Everything Around Me, our members-only podcast about Burt Reynolds movies. Yeah, more eps coming to your bonus feed very soon. So, you know, if you're already a member, keep that membership going.

And if you want to get a membership to hear these exclusive bonus episodes and many, many more, MaximumFun.org slash join. Now, Jordan, I think it is all led to this. 15 or whatever it is, years of Jordan, Jesse, go the 20 plus years that you and I have been working together. This is our Avengers end game. Literally all of this started, not because we wanted to be podcasters or even radio hosts. It was just, we sat together in a dorm room. We had a giant whiteboard and a dry erase marker. And in the center, we wrote nuts.com.

And then we wrote an arrow pointing towards it. And then a question mark. What do we do? What do we do to get to the point where we're sponsored by nuts.com? We have slew Thanos and retrieved the infinity stones for we today are sponsored by nuts.com whether you're someone on the go who needs a quick snack to grab on the way out or someone who spends time at home and needs a stocked snack drawer nuts.com has you covered nuts.com is your one-stop shop

for freshly roasted nuts, dried fruit, sweet pantry staples like specialty flours and more. Their wide selection means there is something for everyone. Jordan, as you know, I suffer from migraine headaches.

One of my biggest triggers is missing a meal. So even if I'm going to be late, even if I'm going to eat lunch at 1.30, I have to have a plan to have food with me just in case. Nothing better for that than a nut stash. I got nuts stashed all over everywhere thanks to nuts.com. I got nuts in my center console. Yes. I got nuts in my special drawer in my kitchen. Throw some nuts in the gym bag.

Got some nuts in the gym bag. I got nuts in my desk drawer, both here and at the office. And of course, I got nuts in my trousers at all times. All thanks to nuts.com. So the snacks from nuts.com really are awesome. They sent over some stuff. I couldn't have gobbled this stuff up faster. You got trail mix.

You got salted nuts. You got some treats like chocolate-covered gummy bears. So, so good. Dried mango. Jesse, did you try the bourbon pecans? I've been eating the dried mango. My wife has been eating the chocolate covered gummy bears. Tell me about these pecans. Jesse, this is

this rocketed to the top of my greatest snacks of all time list these whole bourbon pecans i'm you know i like a pecan i'm not crazy about pecans these bourbon pecans are so good they're so tasty what an awesome snack i i could not have emptied that bag quicker. They are particularly great, but everything I got from nuts.com was really, really good. Super fun. Lots of gluten-free options, organic choices,

and other diet-friendly products. Go check out all the delicious options at nuts.com slash JJGo. New customers will get a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more. That's Nuts.com slash JJ Go. Love that URL. That really rolls off the tongue, don't it? Go check out all the delicious options at Nuts.com slash JJ Go. New customers will get a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more. That is nuts.com slash JJ Go.

History's greatest URL. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Oh, my good friend, Judy. Yeah. Your good friend, Judy. She and I had a tremendous time. Mexico city just owns, like, it's just a awesome place to visit. And we went to a baseball game. We went to a, the giants were the San Francisco giants were playing a game in Mexico city. That's sort of how we landed on the time that we were going and got some tickets to the game, went to the game. I realized that like, as long as I have been a huge baseball fan, which is, you know, since I was seven or something like that, maybe I have been to very few baseball games with my mom, who is not unsupportive, but let's just say sort of vibrates along her own frequency. So there was a lot of like her encouraging me and my friend Adam Katz to take the 15 3rd Street bus 90 minutes to get to Candlestick Park and then buy $1.75

youth tickets to get into the bleachers. So now it occurs to me, yes, granted, other people's parents took them to baseball games. Mine just encouraged me to take the city bus there by myself. But my mom did come with me to this game and i mean you've met my mom jordan she's has her own unique way of investigating and relating to the world right that's a fair way to describe my mom right i i would call her a hoot. She is. You genuinely never know what she's going to say. And in my experience, always awesome. Yeah. No, there's no doubt about that.

I mean, I could come up with a few examples. Sure, I'm sure if you lived, you know, if you grew up with, you know, someone who sees Judy two or three times a year. If you're the kind of person who can tolerate her particular form of eccentricity, then it's a bottomless well of delights. Some people are just upset because they're like, how come I have no fucking clue what's going on right now? But anyone who's not like that is going to have a great time. clue what's going on right now. But anyone who's not like that is going to have a great time.

This was my mom's review. When I was on the, there was like a, the stadium in Mexico City is in this park and it's sort of like a little ways from the road. So we took like a little golf card ride back to get back to the road. And my mom was telling me about her experience of the baseball game. This, and I like sad to say, I was sitting with her on a golf cart. Like we were sharing a little bench seat on a golf cart and my mom's like almost as big as I am. So we're, I had to like sneak my phone out to write this down verbatim because I didn't want to, this is my momim because I didn't want to. This is my mom's capsule review of the baseball game.

That was an amazing game. It was slow. It was really fast. There were a number of high fouls. I actually liked it a lot. That's one for the book of Judy's bathroom wisdom. There were a number of high fouls. A number of high fouls.

That's how you know a good game. Yeah. That's why we come. Yeah. We come for the high fouls. You get home, somebody says, what? How many? How many?

High foul. Quite a number. What do you think she was thinking of? Do you have any idea? I think she must mean like... Because one of the things is, in this game, there was a bananas amount of scoring in home runs. Like completely off the charts.

Who did they play against? They played the San Diego Padres. Okay, which is in mexico city yeah in mexico city but real games and you know mexico city is like 50 higher than denver like mexico city is like 7 500 feet or something like that so the ball goes completely bonkers there and there were think it was, it tied an all-time record for most different guys hitting home runs. 11 different guys in the game hit a home run. And I think what my mom was talking about was things that seemed like they could be a home run, but weren't. Oh, okay. Oh, sure, sure, sure. You think it's going to be a home run but weren't oh okay oh sure sure sure i think you think it's gonna be a home run and it goes foul i think that it meant yeah like something it's something exciting happened that turned out not to actually be you know what it probably took her back to

is all of the the loququat batting in your backyard. Right. It was probably a loquat. The glory days, you know? Yeah, that seems right. That had to feel really good. Just sort of nice. It felt nice.

You know, it was just nice to connect to your mom. Yeah. And you want to be able to have a chance to talk to her, you know? Yeah. But you don't want it to be boring. So what you're hoping for is that the game will be slow and very fast and very fast. Yeah. Not one, but both. Yeah. My family are huge baseball fans. And so many of our family road trips when I was young was us driving across

the country to different baseball parks. Um, and my mother knew, or still does like knows how to do the like scoring thing that's like you do the whole i don't even know it's like this piece of paper thing whatever it's called scoring yeah are you familiar with the concept of scoring yeah linda clark's all over it your mom really knew how to score the ball my mom can score i you what. But there's photos of me at baseball parks. Oh, mom's itchy again. We got to get to a ballpark. She's feeling the twitch. There's photos of me at ballparks across this fine country, bored off my tits and reading.

Like Judy Blume after like- I think I brought a couple of narnias to baseball games in my day oh yeah i was deep in that wardrobe when we were at like fenway or whatever yeah but that's a fun that's a fun trip you just got to take yeah it was a great time it was a it was a real jordan if you'll forgive me momentous occasion what how'd you'd you get there? How did you get there, you sneaky fucker? When something momentous happens to you, 206-984-4FUN, or just send a voice memo to jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Let's hear one. Hello, Jordan Chesico. This is Gabriel calling from Toronto, Ontario, with a momentous occasion. I just wrapped up my 30-minute commute walk to work this morning,

dressed business casual like half the people out there on the street. And after walking the first block, a gentleman rounds the corner, walking towards me, dressed just like me, but just absolutely wailing on a flute, without a care in the world. That's it. It's hard not to start the rest of my day not feeling like it's going to be absolutely magical. I had to share that with someone. And of course, it had to be you too.

Take care. Love you, boys. Have a good one. Love you, boy. I thought he was going to say turn the corner and it was Benedict Cumberbatch in 1800s London he had been listening to this episode the whole time

is this proof that the multiverse is real? out there do we all just have a flute a flute version of ourselves there's the Jethro Tull in all of us right that is awesome I'm glad he shared that I'm glad i got to hear that and everyone else did because that would absolutely be the kind of thing that i'm like

i don't know there's what the word is for the emotion that that just inspired in me i'm sure there's a good term for it in german germans yeah you know the germans have a word for writing it all day after that right what would you say is the lowest level of formal garb that's appropriate for playing flute right okay like i think maybe we can all agree can't play flute in shorts yeah it doesn't seem like you could play well what if it was like those kind of tom brown short suit like pharrell wore to the grammys one time hmm he doesn't still doesn't seem right to me no it doesn't seem right seems unnatural yeah i'll say too i i'm not exactly privy of course as

none of us are to the full details of the business casual he was sporting i don't see a polo shirt i don't see a polo shirt near a flute in any kind of respect i could see fluting in a khaki trouser yeah maybe you got a maybe you got a dress shirt you roll up the sleeves if you really want to wail on that little fluty. I can imagine also like an Oxford shirt, like a button down collar shirt. Sure. Which is relatively casual for a long sleeve button up shirt. But I don't think that's wildly inappropriate. Even if, as Jordan, as you suggested, the sleeves are rolled up. I just, I don't want to see sneakers.

Right. See a hard sold shoe. You also don't want to see sneakers right you want to see a hard sold shoe you also don't want to see toes there's no no bared feet sandal situation i don't care how expensive or nice the leather i didn't say that treya okay i'm just i didn't say that it felt a lot to me i really wanted to jump in there with it if you have if you have on a nice you've got a wing tip you got a spectator you've got a darby you've got a if you got a nice pair of hard sole shoes yeah cut out the toe let me see a little of your tiddlywinks if you're if you're rocking a flute then i might as well get some toe cleavage out of it. Hang the pinky out. Yeah, hang pinky. Hang pinky. Sorry, this whole conversation's really, really, really icking me out, guys.

I have to say something. This just seems so elitist. It seems so ivory tower. I mean, do we need... The flutes are for the people. Okay. Treya mentioned Jethro tull is there a more populist act in all of music i i don't know about acts a more populist act that obviously everyone

worldwide loves and is familiar with jethro tull absolutely oh yeah oh but i will say the instrument of the people is the recorder i i don't i don't know what people love hot cross buns yeah the only song that's ever been played on a recorder i don't know you might get a little uh man jordan had a little lamb yeah jordan you joke but have you ever been in a wedding where the dj drops hot cross buns and seen that fucking floor light up oh yeah intergenerational madness everybody gets out there grandma and grandpa are cutting a rug all the little kids are hitting the floor every aunt is doing the chuck berry sort of hop across the the floor yeah i let's let gen z-ers are making tiktoks sure they love it they can get enough. Let's make the flautists.

Let's give the flautists permission. When you're out there, rip it on that flute. Wear what makes you comfortable. Wear what makes you feel good. If you want a flute in jean shorts and a half shirt that says dump them out that is wonderful that is beautiful and as long as you feel sexy that's what you should wear that's my position that's that's my position live your best fluting life thank you yes exactly i disagree completely completely wow i do like the idea of any kind of formal where uh it's just given automatic the the looking at the flute as an accessory the quickest inroad to whimsy you're ever gonna find like

what's another accessory that could do that heavy lifting no no no talk about me shaving off my beard or growing a mustache or whatever leading everyone to send me a note that i look like a molester the quickest path to looking like a molester is adding a flute to almost any okay it really doesn't matter what you look like it doesn't matter your gender expression it doesn't matter what you look like. It doesn't matter your gender expression. It's the Piper. It's right there. Yeah. As soon as you have that flu. Literally does nothing but attract children and rats.

Yeah, I get it. You guys want to attract some rats and then come back and finish this off? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. La, la, la, la tears of the kingdom diablo 4 final fantasy 16 street fighter 6 balder's gate 3 starfield spider-man 2 master detective archives raincoat for nintendo switch no is that just me it's a huge time for video games. You need somebody to tell you what's good, what's not so good, and what's amazing.

I'm Jason Schreier. I'm Maddie Myers. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of TripleClick, a video game podcast for anyone who likes games. Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye! Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Trans voices, especially black trans voices, are rarely centered in our own stories. That's why we bring you a new limited series called We See Each Other, the podcast, co-hosted by me, journalist and better half of the Max Fund Podcast, Fanta,

Trayvon Anderson, and me, award-winning journalist and media personality, Sharjah Sell. All of it is based on my book, We See Each Other, a black trans journey through TV and film. Now listen, folks, we're having a very different kind of conversation. It's giving kitchen table talk. We get into the discourse, honey. Tune into We See Each Other, the podcast at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get Slayworthy audio. It's Jordan, Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Drea Clark, number one fan. Now, Drea, we mentioned at the beginning of the show that you are a film podcaster, obviously with the Smash It podcast, Maximum Film. Indeed. And of course, anybody who's interested

in keeping up with the world of film and getting in-depth knowledge should tap in to the Maximum Film pipeline. You ended up on Maximum Film because of your work as a film festival programmer, and you currently have a film festival that you have programmed. I mean, it's all right there. It's all right in my title. I sure did. Yes, Maximum Film is me and my buddies, Ify Waterwayway who is a writer and comedian and then film critic alonzo duralde and so it's our sort of disparate perspectives and viewpoints

into film i am people would let me sorry to interrupt oh yes jump in people would know if he from his appearances on this program alonzo they would probably know from the smash hit ifc television show the grid um starring Jesse Thorne and Jordan Morris. Yeah, they would know them from the most top of pop culture references, which are, of course, the two things you just referenced. Yeah. So, yes, delightful talk with them about film every single week. And as mentioned, yeah, so I program,

I've been programming for like 20 years. I ran slam dance programming for a long time. I've been at Sundance last seven years. And currently I'm the film curator for Gina Davis's Bentonville Film Festival, which is taking place next month in Bentonville, Arkansas. We're really proud of the films that we're showing this year. And we focus entirely on films by underrepresented artists and underrepresented voices in front of camera as well. So a good range of things. And one of those films is a film I produced will be world premiering. And I'm super excited and very proud of it. It's called A View of the World from New York. We'll be starting our festival run in June and hopefully coming out in the next year. So keep an eye out.

It's inspired in some part by Metropolitan. And Whit Stillman is in our movie and has been a delightful support. I sure did. Okay. Jordan, you're familiar with Whit Stillman, the director of Metropolitan and Barcelona and all these different. Last Days of Disco. Sure, yeah, yeah. Impossibly mannered comedies.

Right. When Whit Stillman came on, Whit Stillman made that Amazon movie at the women's college. What was that movie called? Oh, with Greta Gerwig. Damsels in Distress? Damsels in Distress, yep. Which I thought was a hoot and a

half i really enjoyed it that's 50 percent more hoot than my mom jordan wow yeah um a bigger hoot than judy yeah possible he came in and was on bullseye and i just i just couldn't help but treasure. He was speaking of Oxford cloth button-down shirts. He had one with just a deeply frayed collar, which is like the classic. It was like the amount of classic wit Stillman that he was giving me upon appearing in that tiny recording studio. Just 12 out of 10 Stillman. Just full Stillman at all times. A fire hose.

They're like, oh, these movies are like that because they're just all him and no other authorial voices at all. No, he's fantastic. A dapper man, very generous artist. But also I'll say out of the many filmmakers that I admired growing up in learning film, one of the few men of that age who also predominantly worked with women who does not have red flags around him now and still has actresses singing his praises and working with him for decades and decades. So, yes, very excited. He's imprinted much on the film.

So, yes, very excited. He's imprinted much on the film. Drea, I just saw today, in fact, this morning, in fact, my friend Jeff Yang wrote a film that is called A Great Divide. I found that film. I invited them to submit. They are opening and it's a world premiere. Ken Jeong is in it, Margaret Cho, and then an amazing array of actors that might be discoveries for you, which is part of our film. Yeah. And it's also, it's beautiful. It's this Asian American family that has moved to Wyoming and is dealing with the pandemic and cultural differences and being ostracized, but, oh, it looks beautiful. Wonderful performances. And yeah, it's Jeff Yang's first screenplay in Deborah, I think.

Really psyched about that one. I'm pretty pumped about it. Did you get to hang out with Geena Davis at all? I have hung out with Geena Davis. We're sadly not best friends. It's like she has a whole other life without me somehow. Geena Davis has like nine deals i imagine it's like it probably you know tough to tough to squeeze in as a new friend when they're

also juggling archery and being in mensa yeah i'm right right i'm like okay well i'm never gonna keep up i'm just gonna be here and i'll be here. I'll be the flute to whatever she's doing at any given moment. There you go. I feel like I couldn't even squeeze in, like leave aside being in Mensa, leave aside archery, leave aside advocacy for women in entertainment, especially film and television. Leave all those things aside. I don't feel like i could find room to squeeze in between gazing sternly and lighting the world with her smile yeah just those are enough deals just those deals and then you'll still take an offshoot onto like the long kiss good night and you're like oh she'll also destroy everyone here with quickly moving knives. I mean, what can't she do?

She was Madam President, you know? The only thing she can't do is not at all. Yes. Thank you. Perfectly said. Thank you. It made sense and it was a good thing to say. Absolutely.

Wouldn't change a bit. You know what, Jordan? A lot of people, I get a lot of feedback about Jordan, Jesse, go, our show. And usually the feedback that I get, I'll say, well, what did you, they'll say, oh, I listened to your show for the first time. I'll be, well, what did you think about it? And they'll say, well, it made a lot of sense and was a good thing to say. Sure. Everything said was a good thing to say.

Yeah. Jordan, Jesse, go. It's good that you said those things and all those things were coherent and meaningful. So fun. Please leave me alone. Now Jordan's sinking into the shrubs. Yes.

Disappearing into Flanders. Not the cornfield. Oh my God. I still can't believe Jesseesse got that oh my god jordan i gave up my dream of returning to the major leagues to take care of that little boy and now you're insulting my simpsons knowledge sorry you've led a hard life jordan jesse go is uh produced by matt lee brian sunny dedy Fernandez overseeing our recording on this occasion. Thank you, Brian.

We appreciate it. Matt had to take care of some fucking baby. I don't even know. Where, where, where? Oh, I need my binky, Uncle Matt. Jordan's the only baby. Even though you're my dad. Stop doing that impression of me.

Our theme music is Love you by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records you can find us all over social media on reddit you can chat about the show maximumfund.reddit.com we're on instagram at jordan david morris and at put.this.on and you can find jordan jesse go on facebook at facebook.this.on. And you can find Jordan Jesse Go on Facebook at facebook.com slash jordandjessego and on Twitter at jordandjessego. I think that's enough shit, right? Yeah. Did I leave out any major categories?

No. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.