Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Juke Hernandez, with Steve Hernandez

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

This week, we’re joined by comedian Steve Hernandez for a conversation on junk journaling, Christian clowns, car-buying, and much more. *Follow Steve on Instagram. *Grab tickets to see Steve in Portland on April 11.  *Grab tickets to see Steve in Austin on April 24. *Visit Steve's website to get the latest news.   *Catch Jordan Morris at Metro Entertainment in Santa Barbara on April 10 or at Now or Never Comics in San Diego on April 11. *Pick up Jordan's Web of Venom comic, out now! *Check out what’s new on Bullseye with Jesse Thorn. *Check out more Amazing Spiderman content from Jordan. *Check out Jordan’s comic Predator: Bloodshed. * Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood! * Order Jordan’s new Venom comic! * Donate to Al Otro Lado. * Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!   ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~ Get  Bronto Dino-Merch! Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store. Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug! The Maximum Fun Bookshop! Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes! Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On. Follow producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram. Head to Factor and use code jjgo50off for 50 % off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details).

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Jordan? Yes.

Bet you're jealous of me that my beverage is full of this true orange. Oh, man, you're still on that citrus powder kick, I see. Yeah, well, citrus crystals, yes. I think your original, the original flavor that caused you to bulk by citrus crystals was lime. Are you, do you have a new favorite flavor? I saw, you held up orange. How's that going? Yeah, right now I'm kind of all about orange crystals.

Although grapefruit crystals can be very fun, Jordan. Grapefruit crystals can be like, if they don't, if they don't interact with your medications, be careful. Some grapefruit crystals may interact with your medications. Is that true? Yeah, I think so, probably, right? There's a lot of pills you can't eat grapefruits with. I didn't know that. Boy, that's probably why you're so ill.

That's why I have grapefruit madness. That's why I'm always eating a boring but sensible breakfast. Fuck, it's the grapefruit madness. I could have been having waffles this whole time. Jordan, we're recording this episode of Jordan, Jesse, go remotely. I'm sitting in my office. in my backyard in my shed. My air conditioning is out.

It's probably 90 in here. And I'm thinking about different trials I've gone through here in my shed. Various feats, various ordeals. I think I can kind of see where you're going with this. I mean, obviously I did that shed triathlon. Right. Which is, what's a shed triathlon? Watching movies, jacking off.

Yeah, untangling a hose. Yeah. But I think there's a more important ordeal that you and I just completed. Yes. We are, I mean, we're, I think if you're detecting a kind of a different chemistry, if you're, you know, a long time listener and you're like, the chemistry's a little bit different. They sound a little broken. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and I think what I was getting at is I think we're bonded in a way that, you know, we just haven't been through, you know, almost 20 years of friendship and working together. We've been in the shit together now. Yeah, sort of like the Beatles all jacking off in a circle in Dusseldorf or whatever. Yeah, I was going to say like soldiers in a foxhole, but yeah, either way. Sure. So we, for bonus content, for subscriber content, we, to complete our series podcast, movie, movie podcast, and sometimes we talk about shows, the bonus show where we critique shows and movies that have podcasting in them, we did a mega. for real three-hour episode where we reviewed the back half of Zach Braff's failed podcasting sitcom Alex Inc. We reviewed every, we have now reviewed the whole series, the back half in one turbo mega, not even kidding, three-hour episode.

I texted my daughter, Grace. Do you want to watch Alex Inc. with me? She was in my office before she even said yes. Like she just bolted to my, and like, not even now. I was just asking in general. So my daughter and I together, we joined, we sat together here and watched five episodes of Alex Inc. Wow.

Which was a nightmare. Yeah. I think kind of one of our hypotheses going into this project was like, well, the pilot was bad, but a lot of pilots are bad, even pilots to great shows. And, you know, this show has sitcom pros, both in front and behind the camera. It'll surely get better by the end. By the end, it'll be a, you know, probably mundane but competent, watchable sitcom. Nope, it sucks to the end.

Yeah, it sucks all the way through. All 10 episodes were fucking awful. Yeah, it was really bad. So when you find a 10 episode really awful sitcom that's about your career, what you should do is watch all 10 episodes while getting progress. aggressively more and more upset. And if you can, take those last five. I mean, that's a good two, two and a half hours of Alex Inc. Take those last five and just watch them all at once. Just watch them one after another, boom, boom, boom, boom, not like picture in picture. I'm not

suggesting that you watch them with sports bar style. I'm just saying one after another you watch pow, pow, pow, pow, in a long list until you've consumed them all. And you're, uh, and you're You're blind like someone who looked into the sun. Yeah. Oh, and you know, just here's a fun fact. They do sync up with Dark Side of the Moon. Uh-huh. That is nice.

You start Dark Side of the Moon when Alex gets hit with a Nerth football and says, Ow, my Nards. Yeah. And they will start it. Interestingly, both Alex Inc. And the Wizard of Oz have a part where an Umpalumpa commit suicide in the background. Right. A lot of people don't know that.

A lot of fun facts about Alexing. So this three-hour episode is currently being edited by Jordan Cowling, our producer. And by edited, I mean expanded. She's just putting a little extra air in there for recovery. This three-hour episode of Jordan Jesse Go is going to be Jordan Cowling just texted us. I deleted it. Here we go again, which is also my favorite line from Alex Singh. Yeah.

You were supposed to put it in the containment unit. Jordan Cowell. So we did record an entire three-hour episode about Alex Inc. That will be out the first day of the Max Fun Drive, which is April 20th. But, you know, it's also springtime. And during spring, a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of renewal. And for that reason, we need your help to decide what we are going to do for our next bonus content series. We've now watched every episode of Alex Inc.

And there's no more movies about podcasting, let's say. Yeah. Why not? Why should we say that? I think there's one more Godzilla movie we could watch, but I'll do that on my own time. We have three ideas for 2026 bonus content. We want you to vote on them at tiny URL.com slash JJ GoPoll. Okay.

Here are our three ideas. first of all, Gracie's Game Gauntlet, Modern Mania. This is a return to our show where my daughter, now 14, forces us to play the worst video games she's ever heard of. In this case, rather than playing antique retro games, we'll be playing more contemporary games. Not only, look, we're not going to make ourselves exclusive to the Xbox 3 or whatever is the newest Xbox.

Yeah, the Xbox 3. All the kids are playing their Xbox 3 these days. But we're going to keep it, we're going to keep it new. And that's crazy. That was Gracie's title pitch was Gracie's game gauntlet, modern mania. One is called TBW to be watched. This is the don't torture Jesse and Jordan option. Yeah, is this the, you like to hear us having a nice time option.

We realize that a lot of our bonus content has been trial-based, has been. an ordeal based. So we thought we'd throw one in there. Just if you want to, you know, hear us talk about movies. I think the premise is that, hey, we've all got those movies. We've heard are great.

We haven't watched them yet. This is an excuse for us to do that. So we're going to go back and forth. We're each going to pick a movie that's in our to be watched pile. We're going to watch it. We're going to talk about it. Maybe we'll welcome on a guest

to have something from their TV watched pile. I haven't seen Sheen Godzilla yet. I'd like to see that. Oh. I like Sheen Ultraman. You know? Maybe I should watch Sheen Godzilla. Zilla.

Okay. Listen. Yeah. If there's Sheen, if a movie starts out with Sheen, you're going to have a nice time. Yeah. The only trouble is then you will accidentally watch at least a couple of shin movies. Like movies about the shin bone? Yeah, yeah.

The part in between your knee and your ankle. Oh yeah. It's connected to the knee bone, right? Yeah. That's correct. That's my understanding. I remember when there's a song about that. And then our final option is going to be a show called Stash 2 colon, no

stash. This is another grace pitch, right? Yeah, Grace. Grace is full of ideas. Yeah, Grace is a second producer at this point. A second producer without any skills per se, but a lot of enthusiasm and insistence. Her pitch is this. My daughter is very interested in misbegotten sequels. Yes. And when she started learning about Bert Reynolds movies, after we had our show, Stash, Stream, excuse me, Stream, Stash rules everything around me. What happened is she started looking up which of Burt Reynolds' movies had sequels. Then she realized there were really kind of a lot of Burt Reynolds movies that have sequels that don't have Burt Reynolds in them. And for Stream, we watched a lot of movies that had, as their only redeeming quality, the presence of Burt Rennels in them.

Reynolds. Right. Burt Reynolds disinterested in a poor film is still pretty watchable because of Bert Reynolds. Yeah. But Grace has identified, she's told me at least eight, that's a direct quote, movies with Burt Reynolds in them that have sequels that don't have Burt Reynolds in them. And so we're going to call that stream to no stash. Stash rules everything around me being the original name of the original show. So, We're going to leave it up to you, the Jordan Jesse Go enthusiast. All you tupies out there, go to tiny URL.com slash JJGo poll and cast your vote. And when the MaxFund Drive begins, we shall announce the Victor. Cast away, yes. I think it's probably going to be the Bert Reynolds one.

I don't know. No one are sickos. What about people that want us to play new terrible video games? That's, you know what? Okay. I don't know. Listen, I think, I think no matter what happens... We still haven't played the Babe Pig in the City video game that was developed for PS2 and came out on PS4 or something. Listen, no matter what happens, it will be infinitely more fun than watching Alex Inc. So whichever one of these wins, I'm doing a little fucking dance in the streets. Oh, speaking of more fun than watching Alex Inc. Jordan? Yes. How about talking to the great Steve Hernandez? He's a... Oh, my God. He's a stand-up comedian. He's a...

a bartender. He's a pansexual polyamorist and of course a father. Steve, welcome back to Jordan Jesse Go. It's so nice to see you. Great to be here, fellows. How are you? We're thrilled. We're thrilled. You're coming to us live from the chatterbox in Covina? Live from the chatterbox. We have our shows. We're recording the show. It's going to, right when we're done recording, the shows, people are going to be lining up. So I want to record here. My internet is very spotty right now at home. So I'm here. I'm ready to rock. You guys are hilarious. What I like about this, Steve, is that this gives us a chance to see you as though you are shot for us on a hidden security cam inside a strip club. Steve, no touching.

You look like you're in a terrifying Softie Brothers film sequence. Can you see the unlit disco ball? behind me? Yeah, absolutely. I think I, I, I, I, I, I, another thing, not to just sit here talk about what the lighting looks like. Actually, that's a pretty good use of our time. Let's do that. Uh, it looks like, you know, when you see a video from like 1981 of the talking heads on a British talk show. Yeah, sure. Yeah, where every light is causing lens flare. Yeah. Every light in the entire thing. Something happened to me. I went through a different kind of ordeal, a non-Alex ink ordeal recently. It's called car shopping.

Have you guys done it recently? Car shopping for cars. For cars. But I wanted to, before I laid out the, you know, my humiliations, I wanted to ask Steve and Jesse, when you encounter like a salesman or an Uber driver or something, a barista, you know, these people, these people you come across in life, and they ask you what you do. What do you say? do you say because I don't I don't want to talk about what I do it usually when I say it invites a lot of weird questions or stories that I don't want to deal with but when you encounter the the Uber drivers and the baristas of the world do you say Steve do you say I'm a stand-up comic and Jesse do you say I'm a bartender and I will forever keep one shift so I can always say that everyone knows what that is everyone likes a

bartender. Yeah. Yeah. Nice and simple blue collar. I'm a working man. I'm a man of the people. It gives you some cred too. Hey, this is Jeff Wilson in foreign. Oh my gosh. The touch tube. Hold on. Now we go up in the touch tunes add and cleans it white from your seat. You can also play directly on the jukeyes. Listen to the music you love. Oh my God. I thought you guys started playing like music for me to start like riffing on as a blue colored bartender. Wait, yeah. So, okay, Steve, what happened? the touch tunes went off at the bar. Dude, they totally jacked. They condes into getting an updated touch tunes here at Chatterbox.

It plays commercials randomly like throughout the night and throughout the day. So even I'll be like doing stuff here in the day and a commercial will come on and it's terrifying. What is a touchtunes? Touch tunes is a is a jukebox and you could you could download it as an app and you know, you put money in it and all. that kind of thing. Yeah. I, Jordan,

in answer to your question, yes. My biggest problem is when people ask me, it may be in the, it might not be cold, like it might be in the context of where the clearest answer would be for me to say comedy, but then I have to explain why I don't do stand up

and why I have been cast into things in my life. I mean, a plus one web only. You know, and that is a very tricky thing. What is, I mean, you have, I mean, one of your characteristics, not unlike me, we all have a bunch of different weird jobs. Yeah, you know, one, a modern person must have many hustles these days. And I do have a lot of different hustles, but all of them invite bad questions. I don't want to talk about any of them with a random person, you know. Comic books. Comic books, animation, podcasting. I have been going with animation lately, because people know, what it is. And yeah, like if they, and either they don't know anything I've worked on or they have kids and they have a vague, either pleasant or slightly annoyed feeling about the stuff I work on. One of the two. But it usually stops them from talking to me. Do you say that you write for animation

or do you just say you work in animation? I'll say I work in animation and hope that stops it. Yeah. But then sometimes they follow up. They're going to ask if you're a bugs bunny or something. Right, yeah. What's Elmer Flet really like? Is Yosemite say I'm really that angry? Anyway, so I, but I've had to do, I've been car shopping recently. So I've had to like tell a lot of people who are making chit chat with me because they want to sell me a car, what I do. And Steve, when's the last time you shopped for a car? Have you done it recently? I won't with my friend Honor last year to look for a car. And I cannot believe how expensive everything is now. Yeah, no care. Like a car payment used to be three or four hundred dollars in now. It's a car payment. It's $8 or $900, correct? Yeah, it's, I mean, it's up there. Yeah, but we went to CarMax, so they don't, you know, they don't mess around at CarMax.

They're not changing that price. Does CarMax have a Touchtones for cars? Does a CarMax car come out of a vending machine of some kind? Is that correct? One of those brands has a vending machine that the car comes out of. That is so funny, you did not know what the Touch tunes is. It's so funny. Touch tunes is such a big part of my life.

Uh-huh. Has touch tunes made your life better? I think it's worse. You know, everything you've heard about, I love a jukebox with the CDs, a three plays for a dollar. This thing, they just keep getting you more and more. You get like, I don't know, you'll get like eight songs for five bucks now. It's awful. It's really rough.

You think car shopping is bad? Try hanging out with these touch tunes guys. Yeah. Also, Steve, you don't want one guy picking a. songs. It's too many songs for one guy to pick. He's going to make a bad choice. He's going to steer you in some weird direction. It's going to be all seals and croft or something. No, no, no. Here's the thing, though, you don't want, this is, you know, this is a neighborhood dive bar too. So a lot of young kids, so they're very cheap. So you don't want silence. So to me, it's, I'd rather have bad music than

no music. What is the typical chatterbox customer picking on the touch tunes, just to give us an idea have the vibe. You know, this is, uh, we're in Covina. This is the suburbs, but it's also like, the further east you go from Los Angeles, the more conservative you're going to get. Like, it's a pretty conservative area. So a lot of country music, like the kids still love rap, pop stuff, a lot of bad bunny, that kind of thing. But yeah, I mean, you know, you will get a punk every now that who just puts on like all metal for like six songs in a row. And, you know, he's just scaring off the women. I was just on my Instagram looking at my favorite, baseball team, the San Francisco Giants, they posted everyone's walk-on songs. Like batters,

they get to choose the song that they walk up to and the pitchers, they get to choose the song when they make their entrance. And sometimes it's like a sweet story. Like, there was a guy who played for the Giants called Wilmer Flores. And his walk-up music was the theme from friends. and you'd think that is like a weird ironic choice, but actually it's because he taught himself English watching friends. And so it's like a little nod to his like challenge that he set for himself. His American story. Exactly.

And for some reason, the very sweet white guy starting pitcher for the Giants, Logan Webb has been using a song called Kill a Whale by Andre Nicatina, the very intense Bay Area rapper for quite some time, which I enjoy a lot. But the reality is that other than reggaeton songs that I'm not familiar with, there are multiple baseball players on the San Francisco Giants who picked songs by a guy, different songs by a guy who I then typed into the internet to find out who it was. And it was a white Christian rapper. Wow.

It's a cool crowd. a cool crowd there at the ball game. All these baseball players are all born again Christians. It's like bumming me out more and more about the Dodgers. I'm a big Dodger fan. But I'm just like, God, these guys love Jesus so much. Of course they're going to go visit the White House. You almost can't like, I mean, if you were a pro baseball player, if you had all, if you

were like 23 and just, you know, gifted with you got that delicious body too, you would believe in Christ too. Right. You're like, yeah, Christ is doing a. great job, as far as I can tell. By the way, Carvana is the one with a vending machine. Right. There you go.

I'm ripped. I got this thick dick. Of course there's a guy. And of course he sent his son to die for us. Steve, you did a little bit of time as a Christian rapper. Am I wrong about that? You guys know that's real. Yeah.

Did any baseball players ever use your music as a walkout song? Not yet. I could have. I think about it all the time, guys, like giving my life back to Christ and just making a bunch of money. Yeah. Because what a testimony I would have, you know, all the gay stuff I've done. And yeah.

Steve, would you say you would be compelling. Would you say that you took your life from Christ? I took it back. Right. I took it back for sure. Yeah, Jesse and I do talk about going right wing podcaster. Like, we think we could do pretty well if we just got on and talked about how, you know, you should call Marvel the MCHU from now on because of all the women. I mean, we have

medium talent. Yeah. We don't have to develop that. You guys are too smart. There's like this certain level of dumb that you have to be to be very successful. And you're too smart. You might be right. I watched a video of a baseball player who just signed, he's 19 years old, and he just signed a $140 million contract. And he's getting called up to the big leagues. like a very rare for a teenager, very, very talented guy, very rare for a teenager to be in the big leagues. And they did, the Pittsburgh Pirates did like an introduction video where he answered questions. And he announced what his walk-up music would be. And he says, because I got a rep my faith.

You're like, all right. And then they asked him what his favorite television show was. And he said, Duck Dynasty. And then- In 2026, Duck Dynasty? Yes, a 19-year-old in 2026. Do they even make that show anymore? Apparently, this is a 19-year-old with cable?

I don't know. She's like, I only live in Hampton Inns. Like, I was going to say, he's probably spent a lot of time in hotel rooms, but still. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Duck Dynasty and Family Guy, I guess. And I thought his best answer out of all the answers that he gave was, they asked who his famous female athlete was, his favorite female athlete. And he said, that's a good question. He thought about it for a minute and he said, I got to go with my wife. Okay.

He's 19. He's 19 years old and his favorite female athlete is his wife. Gotta be his wife. He has a wife and she's his favorite female athlete. He's 19. Is she a professional athlete or does she just, you know, jog for fun or something? I think they just really go to town on each other because of the gorgeous body that Steve mentioned. I mean, she's 19, you know.

The things these two young bodies are doing, you know? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely outrageous. So you were car shopping, Jordan. Yes, I'm car shopping. And so I... Did you go alone? Did you go alone?

I'm going alone. This is a solo endeavor. First, I encountered something I had never encountered before, which was a woman car salesman. Wow. I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to do it. I think it's great. I think that she's a queen. I just saying that I personally have never had a woman.

try and sell me to car before. So would you say that she in some ways is a car saleswoman? You know what? I would. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. Who's your favorite woman car salesman? It's got to be Steve's wife. A queen. That would be amazing if Connor what's his name and said his favorite female athlete was my wife. That would be extraordinary. I mean, it's great. You know, she still finds time to get to yoga with three kids and a husband who's kind of a handful. I'd be like, am I into this? Not sure. Okay, go ahead, Jordan. I mean, look at that body straight from Christ. I mean, right? So, yes, I am, I am getting, I'm getting the car sales pitch from, from a woman, and she's, and she's being a little flirty,

which I understand is kind of part of the part of the thing. Right. She did ask me what I did, and I did say animation, and she kind of pretended to be interested for a minute. And then I test drove the car wasn't for me, but I, I, you know, everybody calls to follow up. And I, I pick up the phone. I didn't know the number. And she didn't say like, hey, this is Crystal from Toyota. She was just like, hi, this is Crystal. And I was just thinking about those drawings you told me about. They sound so creative. She, she didn't, those drawings. So, yeah, she, she, she, she, kind of retained animation, but in her brain, they were just drawings. And she's like, I can't

stop thinking about the drawing. I got to call this guy. These drawings have been on my mind. She was probably what happened is she got home and her roommate said, hey, Crystal, do you know any really creative drawings? She's like, I know a guy who does. I know a guy. Okay, so that was one. And then the second one, this was a man car salesman, but couldn't have been more than 22. Could not have been more than 22. He was just the first guy I saw on the lot.

I said, I wanted to drive this particular car. I kind of already had, you know, picked out the one and I wanted to drive. And so this guy is just standing on the lot. I'm like, excuse me, can I test drive this car? And he turns around and he's like, did you see me dancing? I was listening to Michael Jackson. and also oozing cold sore so you know

I don't want to shame anybody who's got STDs but this guy came to work with a very oozing cold sore get that prescription go to the go to the Planned Parenthood get the prescription have it on hand in case something starts up it'll take care of it for you

so yeah we're test driving the car and he's just saying a bunch of 22 year old shit to me and he's like I can't wait you get off work because I'm going to a party later, you know, so I'm like, well, we got to get this over with this guy's got to get to a party later. Yeah. And then so we like go in the office and I do want to like, I do want to hear about how much the car would be. I'm like interested enough in it at this point. I like, no, you're not supposed to like go into the office because that's kind of a trap and blah, blah, blah, but I'm like, I do, I am interested enough in this car that I do want to like, here's some numbers.

And this guy sits down and, you know, you do for the loan have to tell them what your job is. So he's like, what's your job? Are you an engineer? And so I said, I'm not an engineer. And then I explain him. Like, I just said writer to this guy. He's like, writer, do you write books? And I'm like, I've written some comics before. And he's like, what? And he pulls open his drawer and dumps out an armload of loose Spider-Man comics onto the desk. I didn't tell him that I have worked in some Spider-Man adjacent comics. He just had these in his desk. And he dumps him on the desk. He's like, do you want one? And I said, I think I'm okay. And then he showed me pictures of Spider-Ban on his phone for 10 minutes. And then yeah. And then I'm like, okay, I have written some

comics and I've written some stuff that is kind of adjacent to Spider-Man. And he's like, what? Can you give me exclusive early access? And, what do you think I am, an American Express card? I know. You get Rihanna tickets early because you have a platinum card. Yeah. So this was the wackiest guy I've ever been in a room with. And then he, and this is just a car salesman thing, I realized. He like left for 30 minutes and then his like sweaty boss came in and tried to sell the car. Anyway, crazy experience shopping for cars. But then I did legitimately use our sponsor car guru, who I don't think sponsors this episode. And I found a car I like and I feel like I got a

good deal. That's fantastic. I have a question for both of you guys. Yes. I know, Jordan, that you've been a cheesemonger. Have either of you ever had any other sales jobs? A brista for a minute, but yeah, that's as close as I've gotten to sales. Did you have to do any selling when you were a brista? Like, did you have to suggest a pastry? I think they did want us to push the pastries. Yeah, you got to push the pastries. But no, it wasn't like it. It wasn't a, you know, like, B, PPP, always be pushing pastries. Oh, and I worked at Nordstrom for a while. So I worked at Nordstrom for a little bit.

And there was a little bit of a like, you know, try and upsell people thing. But a pretty good retail job as far as retail jobs go. Yeah. When I worked at Macy's, there wasn't any, there weren't any like special sales rules. But when I worked at Borders Books and Music, we always had to put the book they were looking for into their hands. We weren't allowed to just point to it. and we always had to suggest something when they bought something. It could be anything.

We suggest anything, but we had to suggest something. What about, Steve, I feel like you're such a charmer. You must have at some point had a weird sales job. I've had so many jobs that's mostly in restaurant and fast food and stuff, but I did fall for a pyramid scheme where I got involved with prepaid legal for six months. I guess I don't know what prepaid. legal is. It's a set of knives. I really don't know what the hell I was thinking, man. Well, actually, it was kind of right after I quit being a pastor, so I was in a very desperate,

vulnerable situation. Prepaid legal was this thing where you sell, I think it's like 25 bucks a month or something like that. You buy this. It's a card, and it gives you access to like various legal services if something should ever happen to you. And the service is really like not good for anything. I can't imagine it is. But they really like the way they sold, they're like, man, this is such a litigious society. Imagine you, this happened to you or this happened to you. Now instead, you could simply like go and talk to your lawyer and do this kind of thing.

But I like, I don't know, I like, I really fell for that. And I got like one guy. I think I got one guy. And I think about him all the time. He's a friend that I used to work with at McDonald's. And he was under me. But it was a very sad, desperate. thing. He was doing a lot of light fraud though, right?

Not that McDonald's, no. Not selling knockoff purses on the side or something? Yeah, I mean, I remember I went to my aunt and uncle and tried to do it and they were just like, no. And they like, all to this day, I remember it was like such a sad look. And then I was like, oh my God, what's happening to me right now? To do that, it does seem accusatory in a way. It's like, hey, I know you're up to some shit. Well, that's the other thing even about the prepaid legal that was not

good is that it covered no criminal stuff. So if someone tries to sue you or something? It gave you this one card. It was called like a police shield or something. This card so if you got pulled over you just showed the cop this and is like,

hey man, you better watch what you're doing. I've got lawyers on hand, that kind of thing. But it was really, I mean, I urge you to look it up. I don't want to talk about it too much because I feel so bad about it. It was such a bad time. But our, I feel like our parents' generation were like got a lot of messages about how everyone is trying to sue everyone else all the time. Like I feel like I'm remembering the like

conservative talk radio that my parents used to listen to in the car. And there was a lot of like, you'll never believe who's suing someone. And the like McDonald's coffee woman was like the great example. The woman who like spilled McDonald's coffee in her lap and it was too hot and she sued. I think that was the thing that broke all of their brains and just thought that like everyone will try and sue me at all times. Yeah, and I think that woman like almost died of her skin burns or something like that. Yeah, I think it was actually too hot. They just like poured lava on top of her head in the drive-thru window or something. Yeah, it was awful.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan. Jesse go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Jordan, every episode of Jordan Jesse Go is supported by the members of Maximum Fun. All of you, Jordan Jesse Go listeners who join Max Fun, you are the reason our show exists. And indeed, we hope that if you are not one of those members, that you will take the opportunity to become one. when the Max Fun Drive starts on 420.

I say, get blazed, lower your inhibitions, and join Maximum Fun during April 20th and May 1st. We are also this week supported by our friends at Factor. Now, Jordan, it just so happens that today I got a giant pot of beans on the stove. Uh-huh. But what do you do when you're like, tired and grumpy and hungry. And you can't just go put your face in the bean pot.

Well, Jesse, I flip out. I flip out, start running around the neighborhood, shoving everybody. There's no solution. I'm just, I'm hungry. There's no beans. I can't, I freak out. I've become a public nuisance. I've been to jail more times than I care to admit.

But there's no solution to this. There's no solution. I just don't have any food. You're willing to admit, Jordan, to like five or six of them. Oh, yeah, sure. but any more than that, and I'm going to seem like kind of a weirdo. Yeah. An unhinged weirdo.

What's nice about factory meals is that when you get to that point where you can't cook anything and there's no big pot in the stove to put your mouth into, you can pull something out of the fridge that is a full, complete, nutritious meal that's going to taste good, that's going to be ready with a couple minutes in the microwave. And it is such a blessing when you have that available to you. Oh, yeah. And this isn't just like a one thing you're putting in the microwave. You know, this isn't just like one.

This is a balanced meal. It's got a protein. You got some real veggies. It's really tasty. It's really fast. And hey, you can get meals around your nutrition goals, including high fiber, high protein, and carb-conscious options. My wife doesn't eat a lot of wheat. And so I like to order pasta dishes from Factor because then I just get to eat the pasta that I love without my wife having to endure it.

Oh yeah, that's nice. A Factor, it's a perfect meal for one person. And yeah, really tasty. Delivered straight to your door and ready to eat in two minutes. So you have time for everything you love. Head to FactorMeals.com slash JJGo50 off and use code JJGo 50 off to get 50 off and free. Daily Greens with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. Factor Meals.com slash JJ Go 50 off. Jesse, can I recommend some comic book related

purchases and events that people could look into this week? Yeah, for me, it's got to be Batman, colon, the killing joke. Well, Jesse, if you've already read that Alan classic, maybe consider picking up a web of venom out this week at your local comic book store. Yeah, written by me, art by Ramon Rassanis and Luke Ross. This is a Marvel Comics one shot featuring a surprising character, getting some magical venom powers, noteworthy to our audience because it is the first ever Marvel Comics appearance. This is 616, Jesse. This is mainline continuity. the first appearance of Diphtopsin. Wow.

Yeah. Incredible. So if you're any kind of Jordan Jesse Go listener, this is a priceless collectible that you're going to want in your home. And yeah, and it's, hey, and it's a pretty fun, cool, funny, exciting comic book as well. If you're in the Southern California area, you can see me at many places this week. If you're listening to this on The Day It Comes Out, 410, I am going to be at Metro Entertainment in Santa Barbara from 5 to 8 p.m.

And on 411, I'm going to be at Now or Never Comics in San Diego, noon to 4. Please come out. I would love to see you. And if you can't come out, grab Web of Venom at your local comic book store. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Four in America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy, detective.

Steve Hernandez's old dad. Just so you guys know, I'm losing water weight like I was like in Florida spring training in 1934 and I was running laps of the field in a rubber suit of like Lefty Gomez or something. So I have gone and gotten a new glass of water and I went with grapefruit this time for my for my crystals. Okay. I can't have grapefruit because of my blood pressure medicine. So when you said that earlier, Jess, I was like, I'll never know the flavor. Yeah. Yeah.

Jesse, when you held up your water to show us, it looked a little cloudy. Are those citrus packets cum? It's part of it. It's not like there's real citrus. That's why it's called true citrus. Okay. But the cum is part of the crystallization process. Oh, okay.

It's sort of like how if you want to make masa from corn, you have to cook it with lime. And then once it's cooked with lime, which is called in each stimulation or something like that, you can then dry it into or concentrate it into masor, which is what's used to make tortillas. So if you want to make true citrus, you have to have a real fruit and just like a little cup full of semen.

You know, part of why I love this podcast is like, I'm laughing, but I'm also learning. Now, watch out. Here comes Jesse and Jordan, teaching lessons. Teaching important lessons. We're coming, but not too fast. We're, you know, you're fine. You're probably still out and comfortably out in front.

You know, we're in our 40s. We come at a very reasonable point in the whole experience. Like, right, yeah. You know, we don't just go off. Oh, you're talking about ejaculating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, into the little cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Into the little cup.

Are you feeling like an old dad, Steve? You don't strike me as particularly old. I'm pretty old. And the kid, you know, my daughter's two and a half now. And she's running. It's just so fun. She like jukeed. She juked me today in the backyard.

And I had to like keep running after her. Like she's straight up jute. Your daughter, Barry Sanders, Hernandez. Yeah. And I mean, I'm just still like running after her. Or like walking fast and she's just running. It's like, I got no chance. I got no chance with this kid.

If she really wanted to get away, she could get away. Just run off into the night, weapon style. Yeah. She's just laughing. It's really funny. I have an important question for you. You've been a bartender for some time, including, if I'm not mistaken, some time at a TGI Fridays. What are the most complicated behind the bar beverages that you could make without checking a little laminated folder?

I don't know. Nothing's that complicated, you know? I read up in books, and I'm always trying to, like, bone up on my cocktails and new stuff. the death and co books. But there's really not, there's not too many things. But I'm not making something with like three, three or four different liquors if it's not an Adios or a Long Island, you know. Of the like mixed drinks that are not, you know, just like liquor in a mixer,

what is popular at the chatterbox? This is a dive bar, you know, neighborhood bar. It's a very young, a lot of kids come in here. So right now I like make shooters, you know. These are like fruity shots. kind of things. The green tea is hot. Have you guys ever had a green tea?

No. What's green tea? It's Jameson. It's peach snaps and it's sweet and sour or lemonade and it tastes like a green tea. Oh my gosh. Mexican candy shots. That's a watermelon pucker, a sweet and sour and a vodka with a tahine rim. So this is what I'm, this is what I'm belting out.

Okay. You know, people order five Mexican candy shots. Okay. Yeah. I like a teen rim. I know it's kind of a trendy thing to have on a drink these days. But I think every time, yeah, I'm realizing this about myself as I'm talking about a teen rim. Every time a food trend gets annoying, I'm like, yeah, I love it though.

Like hot honey, hube, red velvet. I'm like, I love all this shit. I love all this annoying shit that's everywhere. Yeah, I do. It is, the kids don't know. It's young, so they don't know anything, you know? If we even say well liquor or do you want a well, we have like $4 well drinks before nine. And they go, and they go, I'll take a well drink or like, give me one of those wells.

And I'm like, oh, they don't know anything. And they're not saying well tequila. They're just like, one well, please. And I go, oh, okay, this is called the well where I'm at. And it just means kind of like generic liquor. Everything you hear about Gen Z is true. They are drinking less. But I think it's because they're broke.

I don't think it's when in human history. history is, you know, mankind found out something's bad for them that's fun and they stopped doing it. They're just broke. Sounds like they got to get their ass to the chatterbox. Four fucking dollars. Jesus Christ's deal. I mean, I'm like, I managed the place. Like, I started maybe three years ago. So I'm like, I think about this place all the time. I'm thinking about new deals. Check out this deal. Can of Takati and a shot of well tequila or whiskey, $6. I mean, that's an impressive deal. Frankly, those.

Take one of those. They're coming back. And they are not keeping their tabs open. I'll tell you that much. They're closed them every time. I'm not a bartender, but I offer that same $4 well before 9 p.m. deal in my dowser business. Oh, it took me a minute, but Jesse.

That was good. Thank you. A fork stick. That's to be before 9, though. He's got to be before 9 p.m. Night dowsing is extra. Yeah. Speaking of night dowsing,

If Steve said to us, by the way, right now, I was a dowser for a while, 100% I'd be in a, like, it would probably have to be after he was a pastor just because it's witchcraft. But maybe like dowsing is what got him out of multi-level marketing. It's a nice, yeah. It's a good exit strategy. Good way to make some money. They got me. The dousers got me. Everybody needs a well.

It's water. You know, everybody needs it. if something momentous happens to you, like you finally fucking dig a hole in the right place to build a well on your property, give us a call at 206-984-Fund or just send us an email at JJGo at maximum fun.org as has this person. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. And let's say the dog trainer from the new Lassie movie. This has been up in Alaska. And my momentous occasion to share is I got to go to a naming party this afternoon. This was for a seven. six-year-old little girl. She had a boy's name before, and now she has a girl's name and had requested at a party to celebrate this. I got to be the balloon guy at this party. This was something that I did a lot before in college, but it had been a few years. And I went all out. I made a giant ride inside pony. I made a jet pack. I made balloon flowers. I made bows and arrows.

Made all the stuff again. It all came back. and there was a spruce tip cake with buttercream frosting and a karaoke machine and a lot of running around, a lot of silliness, a lot of yelling. And yeah, it was a lot of fun. I've never been so flattered to be invited to a party. And, yeah, just if anyone was ever wondering what's going on at little kids naming party, that's it, a lot of fun. Love you guys. We love you, too. I'm going to tell you this.

Yeah. I don't think that young people should be riding inside ponies. Okay. I maybe missed that part of the call. Or is this an unrelated? He said that he made a ride inside pony. Uh-huh. Oh. I don't think that's appropriate to teach children to do. I got a little hung up on jetpack and I feel like I stopped listening once he said jetpack. I'm like, how do you, what is that? I mean, you just put a little hole in the balloon, right? Right. Yeah, if you use cartoon logic, sure, that'll work. But yeah, no, I think that young people should stay out of ponies.

Sorry, sorry if that's too woke. Okay. Yeah. Stay out of the pony. I think the same. I wish I had a skill that was suitable for party work. You could podcast at a party. I guess I could podcast at a party.

My, the producer of Bullseye, Kevin's wife. Kelly. She's also a person. My friend Kelly, let me have other. My friend Kelly, there you go. Is an early childhood education teacher, but she has a caricature agent, I guess, who just texts her sometimes and says, want to go do some caricatures for 50 bucks an hour or whatever? Wow. And she just goes and does it. And would it be a situation of like, if she gets Disneyland, she can quit she can quit education and say, fuck it, I'm the Disneyland characterist. What do you think is like the good money in caricature drawing? I'm going to leave aside like, oh, I'm doing illustrations for the New Yorker or whatever. But if you're just talking about one-to-one caricature drawing. Drawing somebody with a big head doing the hobby that they tell you.

Kicking a soccer ball, chasing a lady. It would be like at a central park. You think so? Oh, yeah. Because Disneyland, these places, you got to pay rent. Do you? Oh, I didn't know that. In my mind, that was the big one. That's like the fuck it.

I'm done with my other job. I feel like you work at Disneyland doing caricatures. You get paid the same as every other motherfucker at Disneyland. You don't get to keep any money. You're just getting $15 an hour.

Yeah. Wow. I had no idea. I guess I have bro's colored glasses when it comes to Disneyland. You're telling me that the Jungle Cruise Skipper isn't making more than the Chiro guy?

Nope. I mean, I think it probably takes five years of working at Disneyland to become jungle cruise skipper. And in the in the course of that time, your salary pay rate has gone up $4. Okay. Just because you've been working there that long and not because your job is more high profile. Yeah, exactly. I think they all get paid the same amount until you get to at least Roy Disney. Okay. Then. They really, they really cash in on that Disney name. It's like they cast a spell over all the workers. But, they're tight. I have never stopped thinking about, I had this friend named Dallas, may he rest in peace,

who hosted a podcast with Just Blaze, the hip-hop producer, the legendary hip-hop producer. And Just Blaze would be there, you know, half the time or something like that. And I said to him, like, Dallas, what's the deal with Just Blaze? What is his like, why is he there half the time, but also why does he not produce very many rap records anymore? Like, I know he doesn't make as many hits as he once did, but you don't, you don't hear about, you know, Just Blaze beats that aren't hits either now. And he just explained to me that Just Blaze, instead of producing rap songs, would just get paid $100,000 to DJ at an EDM festival.

And the same was true of Bismarkey before he passed away. Like, Bismarkey didn't do a lot of concerts because he made so much money DJing private parties. Like he could make $5,000 or whatever doing a concert, but he would get paid $100,000 to DJ a party. And so what I want to know is for a caricature is, for a caricature is. what is the, you know, DJing at the Met Gala job? Yeah, right. Is there just something where Jeff Bezos's kid loves seeing himself with a giant head?

So Bezos just pays you to fly out to wherever they are and draw the kid with a giant head. Maybe that if you can, you know. Do you think there are like ultra-premium non-professional entertainer? party enhancement agents. Like, do you think that there's a person that you call if you're Martha Stewart and you need someone to do balloons at your party? Like, to do, to make animals out of balloons? Yeah, maybe there is a, like, this company provides the best of the best.

I bet there is. And yeah, if you can get in with that group, then you're fucking set. Jordan Calling, could you, could you get us in on that? Jordan Callan, could you go ahead, send us in. for, we'll make balloon animals. Oh, no, no, no. Here's what we do, Jesse. We don't have to learn about balloon animals.

Tell them we're a pony. Yes. We'll get one of those. We'll get one of those two guy horse costumes. Yep. Bezos flies us out and we let Bezos's kids ride us around. Well, we'd have to have an orifice of some kind for them to climb into. Kids are into riding in ponies.

They don't know. They're not getting in ponies now. We've discussed this already. They're not getting in. They're getting on. Kids riding ponies now. There do has to be like a balloon animal. The scouts then, right?

Like they hear about a new hot balloon person. Right. Just a guy in like a suit with no tie who hangs out in the back of the kids party watching. And he's like, hey, you're good. Give me a call. Steve, you ever work with a Christian clown? No. And I'm not even just saying this.

That doesn't seem like Christ would fuck with clowns. Well, bad news because there's definitely, definitely 100% Christian clouds. All right, let me tell you this. I went on a mission trip to Paris, France once. And there was a... Pretty fun place to do some missionary work. Oh, yeah, it's a godless country. This is for real.

There was a group there called Mimistry, and they would mime on the streets. Mimistry. Mimistry. So instead of ministry. Yes. My mystery. They would, like, act out like, Amy Grant songs. And one would pretend to crucify the other one?

Yes, exactly. Truly called Mima Street, not making it out. Wow. Okay. Can I just briefly read from the website of the World Clown Association at Worldclown.com? I wish you would. Okay. This is just sort of a statement of purpose. I'm only reading a selection.

This is towards the end, okay? Oh, and one more thing. Really, this is the last one. I am not a Christian clown. I like to think of it like this. I am a Christian, a Christ follower who uses the art of clowning to serve people and to minister the good news. Therefore, I am a Christian and a clown who is involved in clown ministry. And then finally, in conclusion, they say, this must be like the keynote speech at the

World Clown Association Convention or something. The final statement is, to those who are involved in ministry, I say, yes, well done. Carry on and let's work together to become the best clowns we can be and help each other to become better ministers. If you feel like you want to get started using your clown character to do ministry, let me know. I'll do what I can to help. That's really nice.

Clowns helping clowns. No jealousy. Let me lift you up. Clowning Christ. I like that this, and I like that this Christian clown seems to have a similar hang up that like, if you are a like woman in a band, they call the band a female fronted band. And then, you know, reasonably they'll say like, hey, just call us a band. This like clown is like, hey, I'm just, I'm a clown and I happen to do Christian stuff. Doesn't mean I'm any less of a clown.

I like that. Do you think that whenever they do an interview? you somebody's like, what's it like for clowns in Christianity? Right. It's like, you're not going to ask me about seltzer. Like you ask the atheist clown. As to the same questions you would ask the atheist clown. If I squeeze this ball, does my flower not spritz?

Right. We're all the same. You know, my favorite atheist clown, Ricky Jervais. Mm. Because he makes us laugh and he makes us think and he makes us wonder if the office was actually good in the first place. We got another call in the barrel? I think we have one of our famous long running segments, right? Hi, Jordan and Jesse and I'm going to guess Chris Fairbanks.

This is Jack from Phoenix. I'm calling in for Jesse's Bug Not Eating Challenge. I just got done listening to Episode 581 with Josh Gondelman, where Jesse starts the episode. episode talking about not eating the fly in La Croix Can. When I was 13, my mom and I got lost on a hike in the mountains for about four hours. During that time, we were in the brush, and it was very hot, and there were flies everywhere, hundreds of flies, and they were clinging to anywhere that had moisture. And I would say, I'm going to be conservative, that there were about a dozen flies desperately trying to crawl into my mouth

over the course of that time. I just kept purseing my lips and trucking along. However, when I did get home, I had to wash several flies from my armpits, my private areas, as well as my hair and behind my ears.

So I would put that at Jesse 1 and Jack 12. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm so fucking sick of Jack's bullshit. Oh, boy. Jack thinks everything's a fucking conduct. Here comes a rant.

Jack. Jack thinks everything's a contest between me and Jack. If it's not a contest between him and the bean giant. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Jack, if you're out there, maybe think a little bit less about Jesse Thorne. And maybe think a little bit more about Mr. Fifi Fum that's coming up behind you, okay? Hey, Jack, look over your shoulder.

I think there's a bean giant back there ready to eat you with his yellow teeth. Yeah. Do bean giants have yellow teeth? I don't know. That was a very specific detail. I wondered where that came from. Steve, you ever get any bean giants coming into there? Can you tell us about their teeth?

They have yellow teeth. They're not going to have white teeth. Yeah. One time Steve traded prepaid legal services for a handful of magic beans. And the guy one level up the chain was so mad at him. He's like, come on, man. Come on, man. What am I going to use these for?

I like that this collar is jumping off a something we talked about in like a three-year-old episode. I don't even remember what it was. Yeah. And apparently you ate a fly when you were drinking a LaCroix. It sounds like I didn't eat. I thought I didn't eat a fly. I don't know. Did I eat one fly?

Listen, this would mean going back and listening to an episode of our podcast and I'm just not prepared to do that. We have strongly recommended that people not go back. back and listen to episodes of our podcast. It's one thing to listen to the new one. We don't endorse that. No. But we discourage people from listening to episodes from the past. Yeah, we've grown and changed a lot since those episodes.

I mean, I wouldn't say that, but like... No. I want them to believe that, Jesse. I want them to think that. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse. Maximum Fun, bringing you the finest of podcasts from the worlds of comedy and culture. Almost a perfect episode. Made by real people.

Oh, no, that mic hit's gonna cost them. You hate to see it. Supported by people just like you. They're only five seconds away from the longest stretch about saying, um, two, one. And he's done it, folks. A new world record. Amazing! Max Fun Drive is coming soon.

And they hit three. acute interruption trifecta, cat, dog, and sleepy toddler. The best two weeks in podcasting starts Monday, April 20th, bonus content, gifts, games, and great episodes, and so much more. Follow Max FunnHQ and all your shows on social media so you don't miss a thing. I'm Emily Fleming. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Matt Lee.

We are real comedy writers. Real friends. And real cheapskates. On every episode of our podcast free with ads, we ask, why pay for expensive streaming services when you can get free movies from apps with weird names? Each week, we review the freest movies the Internet has to offer. Classics like Pride and Prejudice. Colt classics like Point Break.

And holy shit, what did I just watch classics like Teen Witch? Tune in every week as we take a deep dive into the Internet's bargain bin. Every Tuesday on Maximumfund.org or your favorite pod plays. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Steve Hernandez, fat bad. Have you guys heard of something called junk journaling? No, I have not.

Tell me more. I went to the Paper World Stationery Expo yesterday. Okay. For content? This was for content. This was for a few. A bonus episode of Jordan Bullseye with Jesse Thorne.

Bullseye with Jesse Thorne, the name of my public radio program. And we did like a thing where we said, instead of doing it in the studio with celebrities, we'll do it out in the world with regular people and where should Jesse go? And Paper World Stationary Expo won against, it beat Digimon Championship and it beat Lego contest.

And it beat Lego contest. And it beat. Renaissance Fair, the classic of all classics. Art slash your listeners can still surprise us. I am shocked that that's the one that won. But I went there, and, you know, as you would expect, it was just a room full of just real nice 30-year-old ladies. Just the nicest people on Earth.

Also, achy-breaky heart playing really loud. Okay. I don't know where they got like a middle school dance DJ. Like it was like they played cha-cha slide All right It was nuts But anyway I went there and the main trend

That people are involved in there Is junk journaling Like every single person I talked to Was into junk journaling Which is like You have a notebook And you fill it with trash Like you tape

Receipts and shit in there Yeah Like or just Some people were like Or just stuff I found on the ground. Why do you do it? It's an art project?

All right. Yeah. Yeah, more power to you. I guess it's, you know, getting rid of litter, which is nice. It could be a good idea to keep a junk journal if you're a heroin addict. Sure, yeah. Ah, where's that heroin? Oh, yeah.

In the general. Where not put that heroin? It's in the journal. How much heroin have I injected into myself today? Let me check my junk journal real quick. I mean, it seems that like, you know, the thing about journals is, is that you see it at the stationary store. You're like, ah, this is beautiful. This is the start of my new life as an organized person who, you know, writes everything down.

And also, like, does the thing that your therapist always recommends and do a little journal in to start your day? Like, it's this, you know, it's like an aspirational purchase, just buying that journal. My therapist has never had the guts to recommend self-reflects. to me. Oh, good, good. Good honor. They know how they'd be received. No thanks. Yes, I will not journal. But yeah, is junk journaling like a reaction to that? Like, we just have all these journals that we're buying and not using because we don't really want to do any of this stuff. So let's just fill them with trash. Is that like, is that part of it? I kept asking people how many journals they had. And they would say, like three.

And I'd be like, you have three and they'd be like, well, three active. And then I got Bankers boxes with 45. Of course, yeah. I'm just thinking of how thick they get. You can't really stack them because they're full of junk. Yeah, right?

There was a woman... Not all junk is thin. There was a woman there. I mean, if I'm in my way. There was a woman there who had like a layout that she had made with like a pen And, you know, like she had drawn it with rulers and pens with little squares that were maybe an inch and a half by an inch and a half that were taking up multiple pages of her journal.

And I'm like, well, tell me what this is. She's like, this is my coffee journal. I love coffee. And I was like, wow, I looked at it. I'm like, oh, these are all coffee logos. And I'm like, do you cut these off the cups or something? Like, this is really impressive. She's like, no, I make my own coffee stickers.

So every time she drinks coffee at a restaurant, she makes a sticker of that restaurant to put into her coffee journal's sticker book. JK. through a junk journal from Reddit, R slash junk journals, threw it into the chat. And this is printer calibration marks from food and drink packaging. This does actually look kind of cool.

This has a cool look to it. I can see how it's probably fun and relaxing to organize these. Can I just read the statement for this? So this is like a couple of journal pages that are all the cut out like little bars of colors from the bottom of packaging of different things. And it says, it's been super duper shitty out and I haven't been able to take my recycling in for months now. What? This is a perfectly normal reaction to not being able to bring your recycling in for months to cut all of the printer things.

things this is like I mean talk about grapefruit madness thank you uh yeah I'm thinking the it being shitty it might just be this person's excuse to the world for collecting and organizing trash in this way Steve if people want to come see you in Covina what can they do well I will say this I'm recording my special at the Lyric Hyperion on May 15th hell yeah oh seven 30 show nine 30 show five tickets left to the seven 30 show that's it But I will be in Portland next Saturday, April 11th, and I will be in Austin at the, I forget, look it up on my page on Instagram. I'm going to be Austin on Saturday, April 24th. I'm sorry to interject here, Steve.

We do not have any listeners in Portland, Oregon or Austin, Texas. Sorry. Confusing us for. I mean, the Rogan, Jordan, Jesse Go, I know that's the. There's a, I know there's a few who love both of you guys. That would be interesting to hear from the listener who listens to both. No, it's stick with girlfriends who don't like the show. Yeah, that's true.

Steve, we have opened up the phone lines recently, too. Any romantic partner, yeah, or spouse who doesn't like our show. But as always, you know, come to the chatterbox every Sunday night. I rarely do comedy here, but I'm always bartending. And this is a great bar. I love this bar. It's going to be my, can you believe it's going to be like my legacy? this bar in Covina.

Beautiful. Beautiful. I think that's great. Proud legacy. But also the Lyric Hyperion, May 15th, and Portland and Austin in April. Where are you playing in Portland and Austin? The Fallout Theater in Austin and then some little, I want to say it's called the Covenant Cafe. Christ-sounding, but it's not.

And that one's almost sold out too. but that Austin one, if you have any Austin listeners, I'm very worried. I think we probably have a few. I think, yeah, and yeah, I've seen Steve do stand up. He's one of the funniest guys around, so hilarious. Yeah, me too. You're going to want to go to that show. Thank you.

I'm not saying that I am also one of the funniest guys around. I have also seen Steve. Jesse, you're very funny as well. Thank you. Steve Hernandez, always a joy to see you. Jordan Cowling, our producer, our theme music, love you by the free design. courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. A, if you want to vote on what our 2026 and to 2027 Boco should be,

go to tiny URL slash J.J. Go poll. Tiny URL slash J.J. Go poll. Those three choices are stream colon no stash. That's a show of all sequels to Burt Reynolds movies. They don't have Burt Reynolds in them. Gracie's Game Gotlet. modern mania modern mania

that's where my daughter makes us play horrible video games but contemporary-ish horrible video games rather than ones on the Nintendo entertainment system

and finally what do we decide to call that show meaning to watch no we decided to call it to be watched TBW TBW to be watched

and so it might be on too B it might not be and get ready for April 20th when that Alex Inc. Mega App is going to drop in your Bocco feeds. If you're already a member of Maximum Fun, make sure that you're subscribed to that bonus content feed, which you can access in your member portal or whatever it's called. And if you're not yet in a member of

maximum fun, well, look forward to the Max Fun Drive when you can become one. You can find us on social media on Blue Sky, Instagram, Facebook, and elsewhere. We hope that you will. We hope you'll join us at reddit.com slash R slash maximum fun. And we will talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you.

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