Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Mecha Golden Girl, with Claire Lim

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

Happy New Year! On today’s episode, we welcome host and podcaster, Claire Lim, to the show to chat with us about convention culture, Arnold Schwarzenegger comedies, and the rise of late 80s/early 90s SoCalsploitation films, and much more.* Follow Claire on Instagram. *Check out Jordan’s appearance on Pop Culture Happy Hour.*Follow Jesse’s Tipping tips on TikTok.  * Celebrate 25 years of Bullseye!* Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood!* Order Jordan’s new Venom comic!* Donate to Al Otro Lado.* Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Get  Bronto Dino-Merch!Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow new producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jesse. Yeah, Jordan.

You didn't, sorry, I started to start off on like a weird note that's going to be weird, but like you didn't mention my beard trim. Oh. You didn't mention that I got my beard trimmed. Oh. So, I know, usually you're a pretty thoughtful guy. I don't know. Maybe you just got something else going on.

Should we start over? Here's the thing, though. I mean, I got my beard trimmed. Okay. And it was by the world's weirdest man. Okay. So I want to make sure that, like, let me help you. Let me do it.

It was worth it because it was kind of an ordeal. So I wanted to make sure the beard looks good. Jordan, is it all right? I'll just go ahead and say, Jordan, your beard looks very shapely today. Thanks, Jesse. I had it trimmed, but boy, I went through quite the ordeal to get the trim. I'd love to hear about, when you say ordeal, are you referring to the man who gave you the beard trim? Jesse, this guy was wild, and I can't wait to tell you about it.

Thank you. That was seamless, by the way. You bet. Really? I worked for Seameless for a long time. Oh, yeah? Podcasting was not working out for me. Seameless is food delivery? Yes.

Okay, I'm sure you make your own hours. That's good. It's a good part about working for seamless. Good points. So, I, you know, I moved a couple months ago, and I've still been, like, going back to my stuff from my old place. I haven't gotten new stuff, right? So I'm like, okay, I had a barber beard trim guy that I liked in Pasadena. I see what you mean.

I thought you were suggesting that when one moves, one just, like, burns everything one had. Isn't that how you do it? Then buys a new set. Sure, sure. Like the velveteen rabbit. Right, yeah, I don't want anything to have the black plague attached to it. Yeah, we should explain that you left your previous house because you had scarlet fever. Right, yes.

It was a ring around the rosy situation. So, no, but... That explains your pocketful of posies. I was wondering this whole time. Well, I just love the fresh scent. Okay. And so, yeah, so I had been going back to Pasadena from, like, the east side of L.A. to get my hair and beard trimmed, and I'm like, this is...

I like, this is... I like my guy, but I need to find someone closer to home. Yeah. And my new place, there's a ton of barbershops. So I'm like, why am I not trying these places? Yeah. Go on Yelp, find a barbershop with good ratings that I think I had had a driven past a couple of times. I'll make an appointment.

Are you, so you're not just, for me, when I would go to a barbershop. Yeah. After my man, Jerry retired. Yeah, Jerry. I don't know if Jerry's still with us. Yeah. If you're out there and you're listening, Jare, I love you, baby. He used to call me babe.

That's what you want. A SoCal guy that calls you a babe, completely unironically. Anyway, when Jerry retired, I used to go to the barbershop just right by our old office. I like this barbershop because it cost $8 and no one spoke English. Sure. That's a good option. And I kind of maybe thought that was the kind of situation I was getting into. You have more hair than me, though.

This is the thing. That's true. Ultimately, I was looking for an $8 to $12 situation simply because I've got to do it every 10 days or whatever. And eventually I gave up during the pandemic and just started shaving my hair down really short. But that wouldn't work for you. So you got these beautiful curly locks. I got the locks. I like to get the beard shaped.

And you used to have locks, of course. You used to dread them out. Oh, I thought you said, I thought you were going to do a thing where I smeared my head and cured fish. Oh, yeah. My beautiful locks. Sure, why not both? Why not both? Sure.

Both are equally good, which is to say not that good. Yeah. So, yeah, so I make this appointment. I go to where I think the barbershop is. And I'm like, oh, this is two doors down from this. And two doors down is just like an office building. Okay. And so I text, you know, I texted the number.

Wait, did you go into? the office building? I couldn't get in. I had to get the guy to buzz me up. I go to just an, like, in this office building, it's one of those, I'm sure the things change every two weeks. There's a notary there. There's a body scan place. Yeah. It's one of those. Wait, a body scan place? Yeah. Like to check for tumors? I think so. I think this. Is it live scan? Live scan is where they make sure that you're not a sex offender so that you can be a little league baseball coach. I think it's body scan. Okay. Uh, and Anyway, could be wrong, though.

That's just a finger up the box. Sure. Oh, man, well, maybe I'll head back to the office building. It's great. On my birthday. Don't neglect the prostate. You must not. So, this is just this, so I go into this, this guy's office, this small office that's the size of a pretty big bathroom.

Right. And he has his barber's stuff set up in there. Yeah. The decor is figurines of pennywise and similar clowns. I mean, that's an number. one thing you want to see in a barbershop. And, uh, and then a lot of Kanye stuff. Oh, perfect. In 2025. So this seems like a cool slash chill guy. Yeah. And then, so I sit down, uh, and on the TV, so he clicks on the old TV, goes right to Joe Rogan.

I was about to say what did you get? And so, okay, so I, you know, despite razz and the old guy here on the show, I've never listened to or watched this thing. I've, I'm aware that it may be contributing to the destruction of society, but I don't actually know what goes on on the show. As far as you're concerned, the college dropout was great. News Radio was really funny. Sure. And that, yeah. Pennywise was great in the circus. He sure. Right, exactly. I don't know what happened after he left the circus. Who knows? And who knows where those kids went? I don't. Certainly don't. I don't know if Pennywise is involved. So it's a bit of Rogan that I sat through.

while getting my beard trimmed by this guy was Neil deGrasse Tyson. It was Billy Bob Thornton, another three-named man. And I'm like, okay, are these guys going to, like, talk about vaccines or how to live off the grid or why the government should burn? They just had the most fucking boring conversation about classic rock. It was just them listening classic rock songs. It was just Billy Bob Thornton going like, oh yeah, radar love. Hmm, great song, great song.

You know, cheap trick I saw in 1979, the Bakersfield arena. And just fucking that for, I'm like, okay, now, the pot's calling the kettle boring here. I realize we just list stuff on this show, but we're appropriately popular. And we, we're for the, you know, we list and, you know, we've reached the heights that a lister should. The items of, the items that we list, they're distinctive items. Types of whale. Sure. Tooth, Bailey.

The two types. So, okay. So I'm like, oh, God, fucking this. Fucking this. This is what, anyway. And yeah, but maybe that's like, that's the like stoner conversation that's not what is blue look like to you. Maybe it looks different to me.

Right. It's just like listing things you like. Right. Anyway, so I sit through Rogan. This guy's shaving me without saying anything. Uh-huh. And then maybe. Full body?

No, no, just the beard. And trimming, not shaving. Trimming. Yeah, I'm, you know. Um, and in 20 minutes into this, this guy just goes, so, you want to buy a puppy? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck. It's the only thing he said to be after like me telling him what I wanted to do for the beard.

So, you want to buy a puppy? I'm just like, I panic. I'm like, is this code? Where are the puppies? Are the puppies okay? Should I help the puppies somehow? I'm like, oh, I'm just a cat guy, but do you also, I'm like, do you also sell puppies? And then I could kind of tell he didn't want to get into it.

And he's like, no, I have a friend that's selling a Labrador, great dog. Anyway, I just said, no, I got a buddy who's selling a Labrador, real B-minus. Oh, boy, this Labrador. So he did the beer, and I think it looks nice. I think it looks pretty good. I think the guy, I think this psycho did a wonderful job. He brought out the straight razor to do the neck. I don't think I want this guy doing it.

No, when you say do the neck? Pennywise? Pennywise. Yeah, he's going to penny wise me. Although I like if he was going to murder me, he just gave me a nice trim first. Yeah, that is nice. Anyway, what do you think this guy's deal was? Do you think he has like a puppy mill somewhere?

Yeah, I mean, Jordan, you're speaking as someone who's just moved into a brand new office, with a Puerto Rican barbershop two doors away, who last got his beard trimmed in Puerto Rico and got like a full Rick Ross, like straight lines everywhere, like perfectly shaped. I'm going to say from now on, you're getting Puerto Rican haircuts. Okay.

That's the only solution to this. I don't know, are they open on Sunday nights when we record this program? Listen for the salsa music. That's how you can tell. Yeah. A tremendous, tremendous operation. They're running two doors down.

You can stop one door next to that? Get yourself a man cage. Oh, that's right, at the wholesale sex shop. Exactly. This is incredible downtown Los Angeles. What a block. A land of wonders, as Khrushchev once said about the baked Alaska served to him by Gerald Ford, possibly Richard Nixon. Our guest on the program is a, well, let's say a host and presenter.

Ooh. Hi, Claire Lim, how are you? Hi, I'm fine, and I'm slightly scared about walking back to my car now. No, it's great. It's a great place. You can get a discount. Great. Everything is a value here.

Great. Perfume off the back of a truck. Yep. Gold plated jewelry. Got it. Sandcast silver. Yes. The land of dreams.

A cage for a human. Yeah. That's what I was looking for. Yeah. That's the thing. Claire, what do you need most in bulk? What's the thing you need the most of? Cheapest.

I just, I like thrift store jewelry. like I'm really I'm like a magpie yeah like and I'm I'm a bit obsessed with looking like a golden girl in my old age Claire you're wearing a sweater that is could not be more on theme I just got shoulder pads like I picked out and I was like yes this is the flavor I like either dressing like an extra from saved by the bell or looking like a golden girl there's nothing in the day that's called a day to night look yeah to make the transition thank you thank you I feel seen. I feel very seen. I sex caged myself just the other day. I was sitting on my back stairs out back behind my house. I think there's standing water in somebody's yard near my yard, either my

neighbor's yard or in the tire yard that's right next door to my house. There's been a lot of skaters, which is what I call mosquitoes. This is Americanism. You wouldn't understand. And I have been aggressively murdering the mosquitoes. And I was just sitting there reading the New Yorker and myself. I whacked a mosquito and then realized that that mosquito, while I had successfully killed it, had been resting upon mine balls. Yes. I fully hit myself in the nards, just square in the nards like I had paid someone $200 to do it for me. Wow. Is that what people say when they mean when they say cutting off the nose to spite the face

touching the balls to spite the mosquito. I also like that you called them nards. Nards. Nards. Do you have a favorite euphemism for balls?

In Scotland, we would say baws. B-A-W-S. Oh, wow. Boz, yeah. See, I thought that was a street arts who made vinyl figurines. Boz, yeah.

Now, I would say a gie my kick in the boz. Oh. I'm doing, I know why I felt the need to like start kicking but yeah like we're a very we're very violent people we're not a friendly

the Irish are friendly and jolly and we're not we are we are just not yeah but yeah boss we've got lots of colourful words for lots of things but I quite like

like my my boyfriend is from SoCal and he says things like sick and things like bro and I'm like I feel like I'm in a point break movie. It's so good.

And he's always wearing that Nixon mask everywhere, right? I asked him to. No, no. Leave it on. Leave it on. After you've robbed the bank. And serve me baked Alaska. It's interesting with Sick and Bra, because, like, there's the guys who say them,

who say them earnestly, who that's part of their thing. Yeah. And you can, you can say those kind of semi-ironically, and they'll just make their way in. say sick now. Yeah, but here's the, the real, the thing about bro and brough in particular, sure. Like, I think sick, you're getting into Spicoli territory, and that's fine for Spacoli. Sean Penn from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, holds up, by the way. But I think the really good thing is like when a guy is talking to you about something

important, but he's putting that in there? Like, he'll be like, bro, I'm so sorry, bro, that your mother died, bro. Yeah, sick. She let us sick life. She was totally rad. She was totally rad. Do you think your boyfriend is doing it with a little bit of irony, or do you think he just grew up around bro and bra and sick that it just is in there?

I think, I think it's real for him. Okay. I think he's a very, he's very chilled out. It's funny because we, I think Scottish people are the opposite of chilled out. We're naturally angry. We come from a very cold place. You're probably upset about the poor taste of your sausages. What?

There you're right. Just you guard your balls. Watch your fucking balls, mate. Sorry if I swore. Sorry. It's okay. But that said, our cameras were very offended. Thank you for apologizing to that. Yes, we got them from a Christian audio video store.

I'm sorry, Keith, George, and Kevin. The three cameras. The three cameras that look really imposing right now. I think genuinely, he just does it like sick, whatever, rad, bro. But, you know, I grew up watching a lot of, like, I watched Speed, you know, Encino Man. We called it California Man in Europe. Encino Man, Point Break. All of those films I loved growing up.

See, this is, this is the problem with Southern California. In 1992, Southern California was traveling the world via the highways of superculture, telling everyone that Californians said sick bra when we were in San Francisco reading the New Yorker and saving the whales. It is interesting. Yeah, there was that kind of SoCal exploitation movie. And like this character, like, kids just love. love this, like, in kids, like, entertainment today, you still get this guy, this voice. Are there, are any of them good besides Bill and Ted?

Bill and Ted, I watched relatively recently, and outside of a loose slur in there, uh, Bill and Ted, I was like, I might like this better than I did when I was 11. Yes, this rules. I had that exact same experience this year when I watched it. And like, you know, in the other, in bogus journey. Yeah. their acting got really out of control. But I would say in the first one, their acting is kind of naturalistic.

It does just, because Keanu Reeves wasn't famous, you just think they got those guys to be in the movie. 100%. It's a small nuanced performance in a weird way. Anyway, they're doing waiting

for Godot on Broadway. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually. Yeah, good question. Is Encino Man good? I was recently. What did you think? And I enjoyed it.

But then sometimes I don't know if my enjoyment is colored by the fact that I'm old and I like nostalgia now. Sure. So sometimes I think, you know, it's like the rose-tinted glasses where I'm like, is this good, though, or am I just being transported back to like my, you know, 12-year-old state kind of thing? Point break is good, right? It is.

Yeah, point break rules. Yeah, it's great. Did you get the, so you mentioned Saved by the Bell. Did Save by the Bell air on television in the United Kingdom? Yes, it did. And I was under the impression that all high schools in America had those red lockers. and I was obsessed with them and I just thought everyone was either

in high school in America a nerd or a jock or there was these like If it helps I was a jock Great, okay you've got big jock Jock energy And I was principal belting What about Pacific Blue

The Surfing Coral That was what it was called right Pacific Blue? I don't know that I remember Pacific Blue I don't remember that either I might be getting the name wrong. It was the surfing guys saved by the bell. It was like the, it was like Baywatch meets saved by the bell. You're thinking of California

Dreams. California Dreams, thank you. I never watched that, but that sounds amazing. I think it was soapier. I think it was supposed to be a little more de Grassee. I interviewed the guy that plays, played Zach Morris, now his name, bloody escapes me. Mark Paul Gossler? That's it, Mark Paul Gossler. He was a really, this was a few years back in

Virginia of all places and he was a really chill, sweet, nice man. Really into Confederate history, which is why he was there, which seems... Yeah, well, how do you interview that guy in Virginia? What are the circumstances? It was at a convention, a comic con. And, you know, I just get my schedule through whatever. And, like, oh, crap, it's like, Zach Morse from Saved by the Bell.

That's great. And he was just very sweet and really intelligent. And his wife has Scottish heritage. So we talked about that for a long time. But it's interesting when you do those conventions, you know, I've interviewed people like Jamie Lee Curtis and all these folks, but at conventions, it's like a mishmash of whoever it could be like, you know, freaking Mark Paul Gossler and then Brendan Fraser. What is the Mark Paul Gossel? Like, was he on Babylon 5 or something? Like, what is the, was it just for, was it just the Save by the Bell connection that brought him there? I mean, he like starred on network TV shows, but they were like really regular ones. Yeah, people were asking all sorts of questions. about everything from Safe By the Bill to,

oh, that show, he was a lawyer. Franklin and Bash. That's Franklin and Bash. That's Camille Nogiani's TV show. Or was that Nick Adams' TV show? Is it both? Maybe, I think Nick Adams was a writer on it, and I think Kumel was a recurring character.

I'd probably watch two of them. This could all be wrong. It's, I mean, like, people were asking all sorts of questions, and it's, like, interesting to see when the audience, when the audience get up and what they're asking the person, like, what they've latched up. on to as like fans I guess but yeah he was like one of the nicest folks I reckon we did a show once at a at san diego comic con catastrophic show of a long uh long legacy of telling us that same story over

and over on jordan jessie go the short answer is I made a pussy eating joke two minutes in and they shut it down yeah they cut our microphones they're not telling us that we had to keep it clean and it turned out that that little woman that was yelling at everyone was the worldwide vice president of marketing for Warner Brothers. Oh. But anyway, later on in that morning, there was going to be alias things happening on the Warner Brothers stage. And I remember just being like, alias, that feels like a stretch for Comic-Con. But then I saw the fucking alias nerds turn out. Yeah. I was like, okay, I thought we only gave a shit about fucking Babylon 5.

No, alias is like, the fandom is huge. It's so weird when you go to conventions because I often think, I'm like, is there going to be anyone in the audience for this? I'm like, what point are we just having a Matlock panel? You know, wasn't there a thing for a while at San Diego while it was on the air that the biggest gathering of, you know, people for one thing was, like the bones meet up. Oh my gosh, yes.

Like the bones panels. Which is a medical show, a medical procedural. People love it though. People love bones. But if you, when you were younger, did you go to conventions? Were you like, big and- I went to a few baseball card conventions. I mean, look, I was a job.

A job, right. Established that. Yeah. I went to a few baseball card conventions. And you were there to bully people, right? Yeah, exactly. Pull down pants, get lunch money. Like twist their nips. Is that what?

Twist the nips. Yeah. Twister nirple, yeah. Mick kick into balls or whatever you just said earlier. A kick in the balls. Yes. That's it. Knip in balls.

That's what you're, I don't know why I'm doing. The first time. You think you had to crank while you kick, I guess. For the folks just listening to this, she made a car starting motion. 100%. Something's wrong with your alternator,

Claire, is what's happening here. I need new shocks. I've never seen nips or balls, clearly. The first time. You simply must. Google it when you get home You'll thank me when I went to a con Was as an adult

I think I was probably 25 I went to San Diego Comic Con Or 27 or something like that And I expected it to be More like a baseball card convention Which is to say that I really just expected it It to be a bunch of people With long boxes of comic books

Selling comic books Like I just thought it would be like I got to find a way to get Amazing Spider-Man 2-14, but I know that if I go to Comic-Con, there's going to be enough guys. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's an alien sippy out short. Yes, I know. Oh, I know.

But, like, if I go to San Diego Comic-Con, there's going to be a lot of comic book dealers there. I'm going to be able to get this one back issue that I've been looking for or whatever, and there would just be like Frank Thomas of the Chicago White Sock signing autographs. I also assumed it would be happening. whereas I was overwhelmed by the scale of it and I think also by then it was already roughly what it is now and so I was overwhelmed by the number of just like like the thing that I remember the most vividly the first time I went to San Diego Comic-Con was that there was a probably 20 or 25 foot high sign for the movie Good Luck Chuck. starring. Oh, right. That was when Dane Cook was starring in movies. Starring Dane Cook. It was like the Dane Cook. Dane Cook sex comedy. Sex comedy. There was, and it was Dane Cook's, uh, business

area. Something was, I think it was like a head in front of his dick or whatever. Something gross. Yeah. And it was literally 40 feet high. And I just was like, can we please just have a lady that was on, that was on Stargate? Can we please just get a lady from Stargate right here? Get Adam West out here. Yeah. Claire, did you go as a kid? We didn't really have anything like that when I was growing up, you know, in the 80s and 90s, like I was like a closeted nerd and I just like sat and I would like... I had pushed her into a closet.

Yeah, yeah. Taking her lunch money, sure. You would have stolen all my shit. I just would play sad girl songs about boys not liking me on guitar and like I read comics on my own and I drew. I was like quite quiet and quite introverted when I was young. So I don't really have anything like that. The one thing I remember going to, it was Walter Koenig, who played Chekhov in Star Trek.

He came to Glasgow to this place called Verbin Planet, and it's a comic book store in Glasgow. There's a huge one in London, but the one in Glasgow was kind of small. And I remember him being there, and my mom took me and my little brother, and there was barely anyone there to see him. And I was like, this is Chekhov. Oh, my God. That was Walter Canig.

This is Danielle Caning's dad. I was like, and I brought my Star Trek Encyclopedia because I just Star Trek. Oh, that's great. And you said, will you read this to me? Father, I mean, Walter, will you read this to me? I'm sure he gets called Father, a fair amount. I just love Star Trek so much. And, you know, and the Star Trek Encyclopedia is one of those really dorky things where it tells you how to eject a warp core and stuff.

like proper, like deep cut. The answer is, Jordan, you got to make sure you get plenty of fiber. Sure. Yeah. I freaking. Drinks of black coffee if the warp cord gets stuck. Oh, and I lost that somewhere. I signed somewhere and I lost it.

But yeah, he signed that for me and that was like the greatest nerd day of my life growing up. I never went to anything like that. The next time I went to something like that was when I was also my 20s. I was with my friend and it was in London. And I've been living in London for a few years. And I was like, whoa, there's like, cosplayers and you know I really didn't know what it was all about and then years later I start working at them kind of thing which is a whole other different experience now I don't go out

to the floor I'm like it's too I find it really overstimulating and it's a lot yeah it's a lot and you might accidentally see a lot of anime tiddies and then that'll just ruin your whole day I I'm not a huge anime fan but my friend is really into what she says it's a whole thing seemingly white-haired anime boys that's like a whole I didn't I had no idea tell me more about this I can't

I wish I could I am kind of familiar that it's a it's a thing I have been going there's a certain kind of there's a lot of different categories of anime hunk and that is one of them

I've gone to a couple of anime expos I don't know basically anything about animas other than you're like Miazai And, but my eight-year-old was obsessed with anime. And so I took him. And the vibe is so pleasant at the anime Expo compared to the Comic-Con. Not that the Comic-Con is bad. The Comic-Con is fine. But the anime Expo, everyone is so cheerful and pleasant with each other. It is less smelly, I would say. and like there are these like shows going on and the because there's no broadly popular

entertainment occurring at the anime expo only the narrowest of narrows right um there are like these shows of like like i saw this woman sing anime themed pop songs and it was baffling to me, obviously. There's no question. Some of them had been in anime's or in video games, but mostly they were just sort of around that theme. And she was sort of like half pop star and half regular standard attendee of the anime expo, not to paint with a broad brush. But she had a, she had a sweet girlish dork quality as well as a little bit of being a pop star. And her putting on this show for like 22 people sitting in folding chairs next to where you get a soft pretzel, like just her in a backing track, but she's like doing choreography, going out in the crowd, taking pictures with everyone that wants to take pictures with them, like being so nice to like grown up like hyperfixated super nerds, being so nice to little kids. being, I was like, this is the best.

And then all of the visit Japan tourism ladies came in in their outfits. It was fantastic. It was incredible. They backed her up on a number. It's really, I can agree with you. I've only done one anime expo before. But like I find them, even conventions as well, I actually find them to be really joyful spaces because it's a bunch of nerds getting together and just obsessing.

about like really small things to do with their fandom and meeting up. And I always leave feeling a little less cynical, you know. I feel like as I've got older, I'm like, I can't unsee shit. I'm like, this is crap. But like, you know, and then I go and I work at these places for three, four days. And I'm like, everything's lovely. The human race isn't going to kill itself. I had the most wonderful nerd experience over the weekend. I drove to Riverside, California, because my friend Noe Montez has a show at the Riverside Art Museum. If anybody's out in the Inland Empire, go out there and see it. Or if you're living in L.A., go down there, visit the Cheech, the new Chicano Art Museum, Cheech Marines from Cheech Marines collection.

It's right next door to the Riverside Art Museum. There's a very cool punk rock exhibit of Inland Empire, punk rock stuff. Apparently sponsored by Travis Barker. Oh, okay. Anyway, it was neat. It was the opening night. You know, it's full of punk rock guys and ladies. and everybody's got spiked hair and shit.

It was great. And it was a scene from a punk rock nightclub in a movie from 1989, I guess is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, it was a blast, and it was Riverside Art Walk. And I'm like, well, this is a great museum. And I had gone to the Cheech, which is a really cool museum. I was like, this is awesome.

But what is the rest of Riverside Art Walk? Because it's supposed to be a walk, right? And so it's basically downtown Riverside, pretty jump. in, Riverside, not the most cosmopolitan city broadly. I think it's fair to say, though it does have these wonderful museums in, and I guess they're highlighting that. And the most of the exhibits or the booths at Riverside Art Walk were, you know, basically selling like crocheted penny wises, right?

It was mostly just that kind of... Yeah, cute stuff for Goths. Yeah. And a certain number of, you know, cute stuff for goth's non-goth moms, you know, signs, live, laugh, love signs and such, right? Except for two things. One of the things was just right there in downtown Riverside amidst a sea of just Riversideans, you know, just local guys that are friends with Travis Barker, was just some furries having a meetup. Hey, that's nice. And I love the idea that on their, let's say, Facebook group, it's a Discord.

On their Discord, they're just like, you guys want to have a big meetup, like get together 25 or 30 of us? And they're like, yeah. And they're like, when should we do it? Probably Riverside Art Walk. Riverside Art Walk. We could get some crocheted penny wises. It's a great chiro truck. They were hanging out.

They were taking pictures with Normies and Cholos. It was very sweet. And then right next door, there was just a booth for the falconry club that had a fucking falcon and a fucking owl that you could put on a big sleeve arm glove and hold a bird and they'd take a picture with you. And just some real kind of like chain mail-making nerds were there. I was great. I was like, nerds, you are doubling the value of Riverside, California to me right now. This is wonderful. Claire, when you do these conventions, do you go in full golden girls' core?

That is my normal core. Yes, your standard core, your daily. I'm just going to call it we Clairecore. Yeah, I do. I try and like, you know. You've completely subsumed Golden Girls' Corps into Clairecore. You're saying the golden girls, would you say the Golden Girls are Claire Corps? I am Golden Girls.

Right. Would you say the Golden Girls are Claire Corps? I think that's the real ultimate last step. I feel like I want to become like a kind of. Mecca golden girl or something as I got older and just like, Right. You're going to need to find six other clairs of different colors so that you can form together. So that we can just blob together.

I need a blue, Claire, a red Claire. Yeah. And then right when it looks like somebody's about to kill you, that's when you pull out the sword. Heck, yeah. Right. Oh. Yeah.

No, yeah, I go, I just, I try and just dress up for stage, I guess, which is just, like, ridiculous colors. And, like, I kind of try and look like a big flamingo kind of thing. So, which is fun because living in California just got me in shirts and t-shirts, shorts and t-shirts every bloody day. Here's the thing, Claire, I would be concerned. Even as a 25-year professional cultural interviewer, I would be concerned to be in your position,

not because the people that you would interview would be difficult or unpleasant, although we once interviewed a cast member of Saved by the Bell, Dustin Diamond, and he was a monster. Hell. But... Mario Lopez seems cool. Yeah, Mario Lopez seems great. Probably voted for Trump.

Maybe. Although, at one time, Christella Alonzo, our recurring guest, posted a photo of the new Mario game on her Instagram, and he commented, It's a me. Oh, well, then he's amazing. He's fine.

For whoever you watch. He voted for Bernie, apparently. Oh, okay. 10 out of 10, no notes. No notes. So, anyway, my concern would be in your position. Yes. In your position.

Like, it would be that you are interviewing someone in front of 300 people who are the 300 people on Earth most likely to know more about that person than you. Yes, true. I mean, when I did the Loki panel, there was 5,000 people there. Wow. It was like a football seat. Loki the Marvel guy. Yeah. Okay.

It was a Tom Hiddleston, Loki cast, or some of them anyway. And sometimes they're like two, like, yeah. So I do think about that. I try not to. Thank you for reminding me. But I don't know. I like to go up. My whole thing is let the nerds ask the nerd questions.

And I do know a lot about the things I'm talking about because I am also a nerd. But I can't possibly know about every single thing, right? But you know how to eject a warp. score? Yes. It's black coffee. Black coffee. But like I think my thing is when I go up having interviewed so many people after about 15 plus years is just go up and talk. Like we can all talk to people, right? Like just go up and like chat. I'm, that's it. I can't really talk to people. Hit a home run, slam dunk a basketball. That's right. Listen, Jesse, Jesse needs to shove us in a phone booth. So we do that, take a break and then come back for some more. Let's take a quick break.

back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. Happy holidays, happy new year to everyone. This is super producer Jordan Kaling, aka J.K. aka the last airbender, Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorner on vacation this week for the but I just wanted to step in and say thank you to all of our listeners. Thank you so much for a wonderful 2025. And that's all for now. I hope you're all having a safe, relaxing and happy new year. Back to the show. It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Claire Lim, aka We Claire, Not Small. We have an update. We have an update. Jordan, on Pacific Blue. Yes. Pacific Blue was Baywatcherbub.

Was the strand of weed I smoke, man. Oh, man. Jordan, you're so blazed again. I'm always token that Pacific Blue, buddy. Jordan, you have a real problem, and I'm genuinely worried about you. Yeah, cheap trick. I saw him in the way of your work. It's getting in the way of your work, Jordan.

A Danish band opened for them, a Danish band. That's Rogan, anyway. Yeah. It's really, it's so long. Yeah. It's so long. People, sometimes people post on the podcast. I'm going to give the Pacific Blue update in a moment.

Sometimes people will post on the podcast. So you know, explain Pacific Blue. People are going to get Pacific Blue Ball. Thanks, I'm. oh man Claire, sorry Jordan is super blazed It's all right, it's fine

But the beer is incredible Thank you Jordan's been puffing the homegrown Yeah Anyway On the podcast subreddit People will sometimes go in there And be like, I decided I'm not going to listen

to Joe Rogan anymore Can anyone recommend a different show I could listen to And people will be suggesting Something good, you know Comedy Bang Bang or something and then the person will always reply to them and be like, I just feel like it's not long enough and it's too focused.

That's what they like about it. It's just people listening. It's just people being boring for three hours. Anyway, Pacific Blue was an adult show, not an explicit show, but a show not for children that was like Baywatch, but they were bicycle cops at the beach. Thank you, Jordan Cowling, for clarifying that on our behalf.

Jesse, I'm actually looking at the cast here, and it looks like part of the cast is none other than Mario Lopez. Wow. Full circle. Here we are. Holy cow. Was he one of the bicycles? He played Officer Bobby Cruz. Bobby Cruz.

That would be an incredible show. If it was just Baywatch, but it's bicycle cops, and one of the bikes is played by Mario Lopez. Hey, guys, quit messing around. We got crooks to catch. We had to find an actor who had incredible presents, who had the chops, and also was strong enough to bear other actors on his back for a long shooting day. Oh, in my mind, he was just voicing an animated bike. No, no, he's on screen playing the bike. I mean, he probably has like a bell clip to his ear.

sure you know something like that bring bring that kind of like you know what I'm talking about yeah one of those bring bring oh yeah so Claire obviously you put a lot of work into your career as a con host we also put a lot of work into Jordan jesse go we don't so one of the things that we do on the program is we come up with our own segment ideas for the show we don't just have people call in and then say whatever they wanted to say to us but then at the beginning they say this is for your segment blah blah blah that they made up it's actually something we worked very hard on It's not. So here's a perfect example of that.

We're hardworking, and it's a good show. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest, which this week I'm guessing is bug, Jordan's cat. This is Bill from outside Seattle, and I'm calling in for your famous segment conversations with a Target employee. It was just in Target and wanted the last six-pack of Diet Mountain Dew, which was up on a high shelf and all the way in the back. Can you pause for a second, Jordan? Do you think that this maybe is like a jingle all the way story? Oh, this guy in Simbad are going to chase each other around for the last case of Diet Mountain Dew? And then if I remember correctly, someone's going to turn out to be a real-life super villain?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know that I've seen Jingle all the way, jingle all the through. Not long ago, thanks to my child's obsession with watching a bad movie. And it is horrible. It is so awful I put it on One of those You know

Just one of those like Streaming services That mimics cable Right Like those flip around ones They had a Christmas movie channel And I stopped on jingle All the way for a minute

Because I did know it as a like You know famous bad movie It's one of the Schwarzenegger Comedies that they let him do Right God I even watch I watched kindergarten cop Not that long ago for

Similar reason No it sucks It's so bad. Yeah. I mean, there's like the, there's like that one little like when Harry met Sally documentary style montage scene where the kids are saying cute things. Yeah. It is, it is, otherwise. I have penises, girls have vaginas.

Yeah, exactly. And that part is very charming. The rest of it sucks bowels. Bowels. So twins, maybe is. Bows. Baws. If we're raking the Schwarzenegger, bowels.

It took me a minute because I was like, why are you saying bowels to me? Bowels. Bows. Is there something wrong? Baws, buzz. Claire, you were about to rank the Schwarzenegger comedies? Number one.

Twins. Twins. That's probably good, right? And then, what else? I was like, does end of days count as a comedy just because it's terrible? I haven't seen it.

This is the one where he fights the devil? Yeah, he's just, oh, um, can we count his characters as comedic characters like Mr. Freeze? Like when he just turns in... I mean, nothing funnier than Mr. Freeze. Than a nice pun, yeah. He just goes, there's a cheer coming.

That's good. I'm just, I think Twins is up there for me. And then I don't know. Like, what are any comedies are there? There's kindergarten cop. Maybe it's the three. Maybe those are the big three if you're not counting Batman and Robin. Yeah.

And anyway, I remember stopping on Jingle all the way for, you know, 20 minutes on one of these. Flip around. Last Action Hero. Last Action Hero. You know what? I studied film and television at university. Right. And I went there to, I was like, I want to become. We studied it on the streets, but go ahead. I was like, I want, and I didn't last, I left after a year. I was like, I can't do this.

But I, I went there and I thought we're going to, I'm going to learn how to make films and we're going to watch a lot of movies that are great and blah, blah. And the first movie they showed us was last action hero. And then it was Battleship Potomkin. Great double feature. But they showed us last action hero first. And I mean, as an example of like this, this is. They do back C fourth C's. So they'll do Last Action Hero, then they do Battleship Potemkin. Then they do Demolition Man, then they do The Passion of Joan of Arc, et cetera. It was like their whole thing was it was like a kind of like satirical look at that genre of film.

Right. I... It has its defenders. Yeah, it does. I rewatched it recently and I'm like, this is a bold eye. idea. This is a funny idea. No one involved in the making with this was funny. They just did not ask one funny person to help with this and it is therefore not funny, but it is a wild, cool idea. But I love an irony film. Like, I am partial to an irony film. I mean, I love all sorts

of films. Like, I'm a big film nerd, but like Total Recall, Running Man. I re-watched that original running man recently. And I'm like, this kind of kicks ass. It's kind of cool. He's a genuine Awful actor. Like, he's one of the worst actors who's ever been the star of a movie. Like, I watched Terminator 2 not that long ago. I watched it last week. That was my take home. I'm like, even in Terminator 2, the, like, universally acclaimed everyone's favorite

Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger is awful in it. Like, it's not a bad movie. I'm not saying, like, they, you know, they build the ship around. him to protect him but yeah he's truly abysmal I kind of like those looking back at it now as an adult in the 90s I was like

wow John's Connor so cool he can steal money out of an ATM with a basic weird machine It takes us a basic weird machine I would have to use an advanced weird machine This guy can do it with a basic weird machine And again I was like wow California is so cool Oh that is kind of another like

SoCal exploitation movie It is in a way right and I like the kind of arcade thing and everything. I love an arcade in a movie. When John Conner cries and then at the end, Arnie goes, I know now why you do this. And he points to the tear. I mean, I was laughing my ass off.

Like, it's a funny film. But it has some good moments. Like the best death scene when Dyson, the Skynet guy is dying and he goes, is the breathing. That part where, yeah, like he holds the Skynet family. hostage is genuinely terrifying. That's a really like traumatic like rips off the skin. I think I like thought of myself as the kid in that scene anyway. I mean I'm a big dork for those kinds of

movies you know but like I watched again I was laughing a lot but also again nostalgia and I watched it with my boyfriend and we both love that film and I but I turned around to him and I said but do we still love it because we're old and tired and we just want to enjoy something like junk food You know, I mean, like, because I'm like, I don't really want to think in this moment on a Saturday night. And so sometimes I question that. Have you seen Pumping Iron? I feel like I should watch the movie Pumping Iron. The documentary about Weight Lifters that, like, made him fame.

Yeah, I've never seen it either. I've seen, like, scenes from it and thought, okay, if I saw that, I would say, this guy can be in every movie forever. But sometimes I feel that way when you watch him just do a little thing where he calls himself the governorator. Sure. And you're like, yeah, I mean, like, did I agree with all his policies? We'll never know because I'm a public radio journalist. However, I do see his charisma when he's just talking.

And I mean, I'll buy any issue of cigar efficient. Oh, yeah. He's on the cover of. I mean, this guy knows his cigars. He knows his stogies. Okay, sorry. We're about to hear about some guys having a hard time getting Mountain Dew. Yeah, it was a six.

It was a six-pack of Diet Mountain Doe, and he was getting it in a Target employee, and he was yelling at the Target employee for being a DEI higher. Oh, right. Go ahead. Oh, and to close the loop, I stopped on 20 minutes of Jingle all the way, and I laughed like three times, and I'm like, well, anyway, so I've not seen the whole thing, but anyway, okay, let's go. The last six-pack of Diet Mountain Dew, which was up on a high shelf and all the way in the back,

couldn't get to it, would have had. had to climb onto the shelf, and I had a vision of the shelf falling over on top of me, and I wanted to avoid that. So I got an employee to get a step ladder. He retrieved the Mountain Dew for me, handed it to me, and he said, huh, I've heard about this stuff. Is it pretty good? And I said, yeah, it's pretty good.

Okay, that's it. Love you guys. I've heard about this stuff. You work at Target. We've gotten in like 10 years. It's not just somebody describing a bumper sticker. That's actually funny. Huh.

I heard about this stuff. What is it wet? Eat the can or is it in the can? I am so confused. What did we just listen to? We're basically... Okay. I'm going to give you an executive summary here because I know you're a busy executive.

You don't have time for the full run down. This man went to Target. Yes. There was one six-pack. of Diet Mountain Dew on that shelf. But it was too high and too far for him to reach without having to climb the shelf. So he went to get one of those target employees.

He looked for a red vest and he found one or possibly he picked up that phone that you're supposed to call to say there's a customer in their store that might need something. Then that person climbed up on a step ladder, got the six pack for them. But the shelf fell down.

No, the shelf never fell down. That was a vision he had. He did not mention the ayahuasca. This guy is a character in a final destination movie. Not a great one. He wakes up in the staff room like, oh, oh, my God, Mountain Dew. Okay, no, don't touch it. Okay.

Call the Diet Mountain Dew people because we have a pitch for a final destination. Right. Then he got the drink that he likes, and the guy said, I've heard about this stuff. Is it any good? Great. Okay, great. And there we are. And now here we are, having the time of our goddamn lives.

For a long time, Jordan, this guy thought that there was only standard Mountain Dew. I think there is a new thing. I think Target has been so, you know, pummeled with boycotts. Sorry? Oh, they pummeled with boycotts because of their bad politics and policies. Yeah. That there's some sort of new, like, employee behavior requirements. And I think they do have to make eye contact with you.

and I think they have to chit-chat with you now, like the Trader Joe's employees. So maybe the, I've heard of this stuff isn't good. I don't like that. I don't want that. I know. I also don't want that. Just, yes. But yeah, more, even more, if you didn't, another reason not to go to Target.

Because that is a thing a Trader Joe's employee will say to you. Sure. I haven't had this yet. How is it? Yeah, exactly. No, it was a culture shock when people were like, oh, go to Trader Joe's, the first time I went into one, I was like, I don't want to just, I felt too,

exposed and I was like, I don't want you in my space and like, why are you being exposed? Because you didn't have the protection of the name brands you rely upon. But I just, I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to talk to anyone. When I get to the till, I get the fear because I'm like, usually when I open my mouth, I go, oh my God, where are you from? I'm like, oh, no. I'm sure that's tough.

Like, yeah, I just don't like talking to people. Yeah, I also don't. I mean, you know, I like, yeah, I like a, you know, smile, thank you. you know, if something happened, yeah, but I also don't want to be chit-chatted with. I'm like, look, I'm in my pajamas. Yeah. Um, like, I look like a, like, little house goblin. Do I look like, I just look like I got up. I don't want to talk to

anybody. This is, try, just trying to buy some wantons. Yeah. Just trying to buy some fucking walons. I know. And the thing about that, too, is like, I know you don't want to employee. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do. It's like those, like, ice cream shops where the people have to do the dance when you tip them. But what if we, I sometimes daydream

about that and I break it down I have these moments of breaks from reality where I'm like, what if I just went look, we all know what's happening here. We don't want to talk to each other but you're paid to do this thing that they have asked you to do because they... Joe, who's this

Joe even? Who's this Joe? Do you really want to pay... Do you really want to do what Joe says or do you want your own mind, your own brain, your own spirit, your own... You know, I don't want to talk to you. Let's just have a transaction. I don't know if you know this because, of course,

you're originally from Scotland, lived in London for a long time before you moved to downtown Burbank. Okay. But, see, I'm paying attention. Okay. I don't know if you know this, but Trader Joe trades human lives. Right.

So these people are actually the property of Joe. They're frightened? So these people, I mean, they're beyond frightening. Well, many of them are frightened. If they're not friendly enough, he hunts them on his property. Private Island. Yeah, many of them have just had their spirits broken,

so they're more dead than they are frightened. So since you said the private island of them, I'm imagining them getting released. They all run out and they're like getting... Well, there's like a big like a gate like in Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah.

And they get a head start and then Joe and his, you know, in his cronies. Jeff Bezos. Yeah, Donnie Whole Foods. We are Trader Joe's. We are Trader Joe's. You know what? Pass me that blunderbuss, Kroger!

I would have watched that movie more. I watched this on the plane on the way back from London recently. Jurassic World Rebirth, or whatever it was called. After birth. After World Placenta. Oh my God. I would have watched this Trader Joe's movie that would have been more interesting. What's the Jurassic World that I watched?

I don't know. This is the most recent one. Oh, the Woman's Carlott Johansson? Yeah. Yeah, that one. I know the, God, the Dreamers. Jurassic Park movies, which I love, have gotten so crazy with those goddamn subtitles. Someone should start a podcast about Jurassic Park.

I wonder who could do that. I wonder who might do that. Jordan, get on that. Start the podcast. Crush your enemies. Gosh, I saw it and liked it, and I kind of don't remember what it's called. Yeah, I don't remember what it's called, and I also saw it. Maybe it's rebirth.

Rebirth, okay. We got it. No, I don't know. I'm going to disagree with you because I kind of like that. That's true. took that opportunity traveling to London and then back again

this past week to watch all the films I didn't see this year like the surfer with Nicholas Cage How is that? Actually, didn't mind it. That kind of seems like

it's, I did, I have not seen it but I saw the trailers and I'm like, oh, this seems like maybe a little a little riff on the SoCal exploitation of our youth. I like, it's based in Australia and so they're Australian surfers

and I really, I quite liked it. It was very weird. I like a weird off-kilter kind of odd film like that. So I did enjoy it, the Mission Impossible film, which is basically just, it's become them coming together as a group going, we have to do these incredible strange things. And Ethan goes, I got this. Then he does the thing. He does it.

A giant stunt. And then they go, wow, you did it. Now we have this. There's more to it than that. There's more to it than that. He also sometimes looks like young Tom Cruise and sometimes looks like old Norm MacDonald. And then there's 10 double crosses per film. Yes.

You have to have a double cross every 10 minutes. I have no ambivalence about those fucking movies. I fucking love those movies. In a way, I do love them because I just like, they've become so bombastic and ridiculous. I kind of love them for that. But at this one, I just kind of got bored of the running. I was like, he's running again. Yeah.

Like, I can't. It's like he knows that the running is a meme at this point. And it's like to the point that Tom Cruise can be aware of like the outside world. Yeah. He does know people like the running. and now I think he's probably demanding more running in this movie. He knows people like the running in the same way that he knows that some people like eating bananas.

Sure. He's like, people like, let me ask you this, Scott Rudin. Some people like eating bananas, right, Brian Glazer? Right. Yeah, which is the people he hangs out with. Brian Grazer, I think you're thinking of. Brazer? Yeah.

Brian Glazer's the guy that makes the donuts. You're out here glazing Brian Grazer. I like watching films on planes I don't know because you have to really you know focus there's no phones whatever like I think we've become so freaking I don't know we're just looking at other things all the time being on a plane just like sucks so bad

it does thank you movie thank you for giving me something to think about that's not this plane I'm on and you can kind of I can like enjoy hate things I like to hate stuff like as I said from Glasgow we really love hating stuff but like that it was I know what you did last summer, the new one, as well.

As soon as it started, I was like, I want them all dead. All of them dead. That was rough. That is like, I saw that movie. I have a lot of affection for the original. That was, I think there was an element of like, let's make them kind of root for people to slay these annoying assholes. I'm like, there's such annoying assholes, though.

It's like a movie of poochies. If you were. And it's like everyone is just saying internet slang from the year it was written, which is probably like five years before it came out. Yeah. So it's just people. saying like hashtag girl boss all the time. If you guys were in a group

of people and you were being hunted by a murderer of some sort picked off where are you down the line? Or do you survive? Are you a survivor? Or where in the lane are you picked off? First, third, fifth? Immediately while crying.

So fucking quick. Or do you fight back? No, I'm the Drew Barry Moore. I just get it right in the opening 10 minutes. Really my only shot is in the present company is completely determined by institutionalized racism

so the fact that Jordan is that Jordan Cowling is African American I think means that by the rules of those movies she has to die first. Is that correct? These are racist movies, right? All horror movies the black person dies first? Isn't that part of it?

I don't know about that because Brandy actually survives the sequel, sir. She did. And little cameo in the post credit. Yes. So, you know what? Okay, well then, I'm going right alongside Jordan then first. Jordan Morris.

Okay, so you guys are okay, right? So if it was us like four, I don't know, I had to go one, two, three, four. Well, you got to count Kevin, Jerry, and Bob. The cameras, the cameras. I think the cameras, they're definitely survived. I think maybe all of us just go at once. That'd be nice. So I don't have to watch my friends die.

And Claire, I consider you a friend now. That's it. I think I would, you know what, I, I was, I've thought about this question often and it changed, my answer changes according to how I feel in my life at that moment. And I'll tell you right now, I think I would fight back. Really? Because I went to one of those, and this is the basis of the reason why you guys. So a few years back, I went to one of those horror mazes that you guys have here. We do have those.

I want to be clear that I don't have any. In your back, you don't have them in your backyard. You don't, like, in your, like, so back in the UK, we have them, of course, but not. we don't do Halloween as big as you guys here. Yeah, our buddy recurring fan favorite guest, Sarah Morgan, always periodically complains about the UK's lack of Halloween. Or it's kind of shitty, you know, B-minus Halloween. It is B-minus. It's not great.

I like how crazy and big and vivid everything is here. So I love the horror mazes. I like being scared. I like horror video games. I love horror movies. And so I went with this with a group of friends. and we're walking through this meat locker. Did you forget to invite us?

I forgot. I'm sorry. I think it's because we've only became friends now. I'm sorry. We're friends now, right? We are friends. So if Claire goes to any future haunted mazes, we'll expect an invite. Jordan, are you and I friends?

Yeah. We've been for three years. Yeah. Okay, great. It's walking through this meat locker. And you know, you know what's going to happen because you've already had like five jump scares. You're like maybe there's not one in this. room. Maybe. This really lovely, dimly lit meat locker will be the safe space. This might be the one where

there's no mania. You know what I would be doing if I were in there? I'd watch out for spiders. Oh, don't... They love meat. No. Oh, do they? I don't know. Okay. That's what I feed to mine. She's doing great. She's really thriving. This guy jumps out behind, from behind a pig. From behind a meat. From behind some kind of fake meat. And he starts doing. his thing. And then, can I swear again? Yeah. And it became very Scottish. I went

fuck you. Get the fuck away from me. And I started like going crazy. And then he stood still. He went I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then he Homer memed it, you know, like Homer Simpson meme. He just rescinded back into the bushes. He went back into the meat.

And I went, yeah, okay. Okay, cool. We kind of walked on. So I thought about that and I was like, no, I would be the crazy one. have a fight response in you. I have a fight. Yeah. I'm all flight. Yeah. You'll flight. I'm all flight. Yeah. Put me first. Okay. Like, I'll protect you guys. Yay. Put me first. Yeah, Claire, you got to understand. I grew up in the hood. So I know that what you do is give them your money and leave. Or that. No matter what happens, they're getting my money and I'm going the

opposite direction. There you go, ghost face. Or we could try, like, we could stand in line, right? So I'll go first, whatever. I might die. So say I die, then you're not. next maybe you just die immediately and then you just go hey do you want money yeah well i'm i'll just be i'll just be standing there waiting for penny wise to say pocket check bitch yes and then it's a boy pocket check if all of these if all of these movie killers your penny wises your ghost faces just wanted your money these characters aren't just unloading their wallets and that stops blair witch just wanted your money yeah yeah like oh okay you why much you'd be talking yeah all right 40 bucks we have

We have another call. Let's take another call. Thanks for the $40. We have another call. Let's take another call. Okay. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. My name is Joe with a submission for your long-running segment. What is my cat looking at? My cat was staring very intently out the window. I went to go see what she was looking at, and she was watching a squirrel in the front garden. I took a little closer look, and I saw that the squirrel was eating a chicken wing, specifically one of the flats. and then I also stood there with my cat and watched for about another minute or so it was a little weird but also kind of cute of the show take care I'd like to see I'd like to see squirrels get drumsticks I think they deserve it oh yeah I think I mean

I think a flat's great I mean dromets drumats do you not like a flat I just feel like it's too much work for the squirrel okay the squirrel wants a nice mouthful here's the thing Like I would give to my spider. Here's the thing about the flat. I like the work. Really? I like pushing out that middle with my tongue. Oh, yeah?

Oof. So, that way you're always tying cherry stems into my eyes. Yes. Okay. I'm imagining the squirrel. Like, I was imagining a Canadian, have you seen Canadian squirrels? Oh, those, the big black guys. Yeah, they're like black squirrels and their freaking hench and they stand up, like little muscle guys.

You said they're what now? Hinch. Is that a word? we use here? Is that a word you know, Jordan? I don't think I know hench. Hensh is like just buff. Like a henchman, like a thug, like a goon. Yeah, it's like the kangaroo of the squirrel world

is you. I'm just talking about... Oh yeah, those kangaroos are buff, right? They're jacked. They're hench. Okay, they're hench. Fricking... Now I have always said... I have always said that they were hitch because they reminded me of Kevin James. Kevin James and that, yes. So I'm imagining like a squirrel.

I've always said they're minch. They're a great guy. Those squirrels are a great guy. Well, they're mensch because you're always feeding them locks. Yes, from my hair. We're saying things from earlier in the show. You like it, listener. You like that we did it.

Thank you for your letters, saying that you like our show, and it is good. We agree you didn't need to write us a letter because we already knew. Yes. So why do we do this? Why don't we give our listeners chances to get their stamps in order? Yeah. They can mail us all those letters. and come back for some more.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Good evening. Thanks for tuning in to 101.1 Max Fun. It's midnight here on host to coast, and we've got Sarah for Michigan on line one. Hi, I'm calling him for some help. I used to love reading,

but between grad school, having kids and the general state of the world, I can't seem to pick up a book and stick with it anymore. Sarah, this is an easy. one. Just listen to Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better. Brea and Mallory will get all the pressure, shame, and guilt out of your reading life. You'll be finishing books you love in no time. Great. That sounds amazing. Also, I do think my husband is cheating on me with Mothman. Can you help me with that one? Ooh, I don't think they cover that. Reading Glasses

every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Hey, do you have a favorite episode of Star Trek? If you do, you should also have a favorite Star Trek podcast. Greatest Trek is about all the new streaming Star Trek shows, and it's a great companion to The Greatest Generation, our hit show about Back Catalog Star Trek that you grew up with. It's a comedy podcast by two folks who used to be video producers, so it's a serious mix of comedy and insight that fits right into the maximum fun network of shows.

And Greatest Trek is one of the most popular Star Trek podcasts in the world. So if you're following Lower Decks, Prodigy or Strange New Worlds, Come hang out with us every Friday as we roast and review our favorite Star Trek shows. It's on MaximumFun.org, YouTube, or your podcatching app. La, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, Sweet.

Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. And I am Claire Lem, aka We Clear, Not Small. Claire, I just want to let you know, Jordan, just so you know, I was reading the New York Times during the break. Joe Biden made a powerful speech indicting the Trump administration in President Donald Trump's behavior. There was 10 minutes in the middle

where he just talked about how George Jessica was actually a good show. Right. So there was a little while where he was like, hey man. Thanks, Joe. Hey man. Listen, Jack.

There's this podcast you gotta listen to. Foot on the sin glasses, walked out, then came back and said, wait, sorry I forgot I was going to talk about Donald Trump. Yeah. Sorry, I forgot. She'd date Jenny's ice cream for 10 minutes. Jill's hot.

You should see her in a bikini. Listen, Jack, you gotta check out my wife. Claire, where can people find you on the internet and in real life in the upcoming months? Okay. On the internet, it's just we, Claire, here on Instagram, on Twitch. I don't do TikTok as much, but I'm pretty medium-sized, Claire. Yeah, I'm pretty, I am average. I'm average Claire. I should maybe change all of my hands. Standard Claire. Yeah, lying

Claire. This is a mythical Claire. I'm a lie. I'm a lie. So it's just we Claire here. And then in the coming months, well, I'm planning to do some live podcasts and live shows next year. So that's in the works. And then I'll be at Fan Expo, San Francisco in November. And then again in Have you been assigned your saved by the cat? saved by the cat. Have you built screenwriting technique if you need someone to like a character they have to get saved by a cat.

Have you been assigned you're saved by the Bell cast members yet for Fan Expo San Francisco? I have not and I don't think any of them will actually be there. I will not know my schedule to like about a week out. So I'm going on Thanksgiving weekend.

So that's when I'll be there. And then yeah, like I'm planning my own life stuff next year, which I'm very... They hold the Fan Expo over Thanksgiving weekend? Yeah, so I'm literally going to have Thanksgiving. I've never had a Thanksgiving in American. I've been here for two years because I always do that show. But this year I'm going to do it.

They have thanks. I'm from San Francisco. We have Thanksgiving there. Yeah, but people go. It's available to you. You can just go to Boston Market. Yeah, no. You know what?

Just go to Boston Market. I want the family thing and then I want to see what it's all about. So I'm going to do it this year. So I'm going to do that. And then, yeah, at some point, I'll get back to stand up. And so just follow me and I'll post it out there. Great. That's what we're looking for.

Just plugs for future careers. Yeah. Things you're considering. Stuff and things are going to happen. Things will happen. If there's one thing I know is that things will happen. Follow Claire. See what those things are.

I don't know. They're probably going to be good. And maybe they won't happen. I don't know. Sure. No way to know. You've got to follow. She's one of America's top class wegeons.

as far as I'm concerned. Yes. Thank you. Jordan Jesse Go is produced by Jordan Cowling. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. Our thanks to them, you can find us on social media. We're on Instagram at Jordan Jesse Go pod. Jordan is Jordan David Morris.

I'm Jesse Thorne, very famous there on Instagram. We're on Blue Sky, where we are Jordan Jesse Go. I am just Jesse Thorne. And Jordan, what are you on Blue Sky? You're on that blue sky. I've seen you on blue sky before. I'm in. I'm over there. Follow the podcast.

Search for it. How about this? You'll find Jordan on blue skies by looking for Jordan Morris and then being confused about why there's extra stuff at the end after Jordan Morris. Right. Why these us are so long? Why are they so complicated? I don't know.

You can find us on social. Facebook at facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse go. And you can find us on Reddit at Reddit. Reddit. Reddit. Reddit. dot com slash r slash maximum fun and that's good enough we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse go I'll hug you and kiss you and love you love you love you love you love you

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