Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Milk In The Morning, with Ren Q Dawe & Carlos Kareem Windham

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

On this week’s episode, we welcome comedians, Ren Q Dawe and Carlos Kareem Windham, to chat walkie-talkies, tour life, ghost roommates, and more!Ren’s Here To Pee Tour Dates!See Carlos in Portland on April 17th! See Carlos in Lafayette April 18th -20th!Live Jordan, Jesse, Go! in Chicago at Sleeping Village on April 11th!Jordan’s new Spider-Man’s comic is out now!Pre-order Jordan’s new Godzilla comic! Jordan will be at C2E2 and WonderCon this year. Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, narrowly escaped death? Question mark? Oh, exclamation mark. Oh, question mark, question mark. Oh, well, I don't know if I may have narrowly escaped death. I'm adding an exclamation mark because I didn't know that my friend Jordan may have narrowly

escaped death. Yeah, thank you for your punctuation. Thank you for your concern. Is the question mark here because you may still be facing death? Listen, she comes for us all, does she not? That's true, she do. Said the great poet Shakespeare. They should have sent a poet.

They should have to my death, which almost occurred, I think. So what happened? So, and listen, is there going to be a little stealth brag in this death story? Yeah, there is. You know who you're talking to. Did you die from too big of a dick? Yeah. I was killed by my own dick.

It almost broke my back. No, I am living, listen, I am living with big dick. I live with it every day. It is my cross to bear. Literally, you should see the shape of this thing. I'm a freak. So, I did a comic book signing in Newberry Park, California. I know, I know. Jordan, I'm only a medium Star Wars guy. I think it's Kylo Ren that has the like things shooting out from the side of his lightsaber. Is that correct? Yeah, that's that's what my dick looks like.

Okay, so you got one of those Kylo Ren's lightsaber. Okay, so you did a comic book. In Newberry Park, California. I like to hit all the cultural hubs to sell my wares. That's where Bruce Springsteen got his start, right? You know, I think that's Newberry Park, New Jersey. Newberry Park, California is the home to a beautiful Chili's. Okay, great.

Where I ate those thick mozzarella sticks we discussed on a previous episode. So, I'm posting up ads for this comic book signing. At Arsenal Comics, they're in Newberry Park, beautiful comic book shop. If you're in the area, visit them, they're great. Ask for Timmy. And so I'm posting these things and I get a slide into my DMs.

Okay. And I look at this DM And so I'm posting these things and I get a slide into my DMs. Okay. And I look at this DM and it appears to be from a Funco Pop fan account. Uh-huh. The avatar is a Funco Pop. Right. I do not know of whom. And the username is something like funco, underscore fan, underscore JP or something.

Right. This is the message. Hey there, Jordan. I saw you're doing a signing at Arsenal. I was wondering if you'd like to do a private signing before or after a flat rate of $1,000. Please let us know my number is and the number. So a private signing.

What's that? Yeah. That's what I ask. I ask in my response to you. I don't say what are you talking about, but also I want to know what they're talking about, but I also want the thousand dollars. Right. So you wrote... If the thousand dollars is real.

So you didn't just write what is that? You wrote back on a scale of one to 10, how murderous are you? Sure. And this is the response that I got. Please be honest. How are you sure and this is the response that I got please be honest how how are you doing Jordan so what we do is what we do normally is live stream everything if you're comfortable with that if not we could just do the signing without the stream but yeah we could do something before or after your arsenal signing I have a location about 10 minutes away from

there okay and then I stopped responding because it, this felt like a plot to kill me. Yeah. What do you, did I miss out on a thousand bucks or was this, because they didn't say where, it's just like, I know you're gonna be at Arsenal. Right. I have a location 10 minutes away from there.

Yeah. Or. What's the angle here? Right, yes, I know, it's been driving me fucking crazy I do still want the thousand dollars if you're out there send it to me. I want it Show business is hard. I need the thousand dollars. So okay. Here are my here are my theories. Yeah one That H-Vac guy She's I know!

My place has smoke damage! Anyway, so okay, so it's like, is this just a pure scam where he's like, hey, and I'll transfer the thousand dollars to you, give me your routing number. Is this, so your one possibility is that this is one of those Craigslist scams. Only it specifically applies to people who are doing comic book signing. I guess. Or did the guy think I was a Funko Pop maker and thought I could come sign Funko Pops and then didn't look into what I was actually signing?

Can I ask a question? Yeah. Do you think this would be a good opportunity for us to announce our Jordan, Jesse, go Fun Co Pops? Oh, yes. Those things we haven't planned, to my knowledge. Yes, I think this would be a good time. Look, Steven, get the licensing deal together by the time this episode comes out.

Oh, yeah. So there you go. And yeah, and if they ask why they should pay us to make fun copops of us, just say we're from the Guardians of the Galaxy. Totally, yeah, underrated lineup. Groot's friends. Yeah, tell Steve A.G. to take a picture with holding up today's newspaper

and that'll prove that we're in Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes, full-proof plan. Is that how that works? Or would it just be he would give me an address and kill me? Were you signing Spider-Man comics? I was signing Spider-Man comics, yeah. So maybe he wanted you to sign Spider-Man Funko Pops. Could be.

On a live stream. Yeah. And he didn't know that you're not Todd McFarlane. Yeah, I have been telling shops I am Todd McFarlane. And I've been getting a lot of disappointed looks when I show up and I'm not. I bet if you could get Todd McFarlane to sign a fun copop, that'd be a big crossover collective. Oh, Jesus Christ, I bet I could get

a fucking thousand dollars for that thing. I need it, I need a thousand dollars! One time Todd McFarlane slid into my DMs. Really? Yeah. He was saying that he has a location near Arsenal Comics and you should come to him? He offered me a thousand dollars. Wow! It seemed weird.

I was like, can I just have that Mark Maguire home run? Did he, what did he like want to be on Bullseye? I think he wanted to go on podcasts. Oh, okay. Nice, yeah. And he didn't get us McFarlane? I know, I should have got us McFarlane. I was focused on Erik Larson.

Oh, yeah. That's the end of my Spider-Man knowledge. It all came from when I was between the ages of 10 and 14. Right, yeah. That's what I've got. I was more into Eric Larson than Todd McFarlane two guys that drew spider-man sure anyway anyway McFarlane invented high-end sports toys of some kind oh yeah yeah he's got his thumbs in a lot of pies mm-hmm that McFarlane mostly famous home run balls yeah if you're out there and you're a scam artist,

let us know what scam was almost pulled on me. I think a lot of scammers and flammers listen to Jordan Jesse Goh. Oh yeah. Scammers, flammers, jammers. What about, do you think there's some- If you're out there and you're in a jam band. Do you think there's some G-men or revenuers

who listen to this podcast? I hope so. They probably know a lot about the different scams that are happening. Oh yeah. Oh and so. They probably know a lot about the different scams that are happening Yeah, oh and yeah And if you are from like the government and you want me to go undercover to bust funko pop murderers Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, I'll wear a wire. Okay. Are you willing to wear a funko proof vest

Someone tries to kill me with one. Yeah, I think so those little have you seen those things You can't kill somebody with a funko. I guess you could sharpen their little heads Yeah, I think you would sure they have like a little point on that's what they do in prison, right? They can sing the commissary you can only get plastic packages of mackerel, right? cigarettes, well not even cigarettes anymore in the federal prison system and Funko pops Wow, so you could get shanked in the shower with a little Stewie Griffin. Well, the thing is, it's not the desirable Funkos.

So it's sort of the overruns. It's the Madame Web Funkos that you can get in the prison. Sure, sure. Yeah, all those Sony Spider-Man movies. Wow, a Craven. Now I won't get beat up by the Aryans. Craven the hunter. Should we introduce our guests on the program?

Maybe they know some good scams and flams. Three Morbiuses and I won't kill you in the lunchroom. Our guests are Stand Up Comics, currently crisscrossing the country's secondary, tertiary, and quadriary markets on the Here to pee comedy podcast tour. Sorry, edit this on the here to pee. Leave it in. Leave it in. On here to pee a comedy protest tour. Ren Q. Daw, Carlos Kareem Windham. Hi Ren. Hi, Carlos. How are you? Hi y'all. I'm so happy to be here. Fantastic. Fantastic. We're thrilled to have you here. You guys know anything about scams and flams real quick? You know, coming into Hollywood, I came into murder.

I got to see a murder. So I think, you know, you're not alone. I mean, what do you gotta do when you come to LA, right? You gotta hit Universal Studios, of course. You gotta grab one of those late night bacon wrapped hot dogs, and you have to see our famous murder. You gotta watch Steve Martin pick up his morning newspaper on his front lawn from a open top van.

Sure. That's sexy. Yeah, no, walked in and walked into a murder, and if I'm not mistaken, it may have been done with a craven. If I saw it correctly. It was a sharp craven. Right, you see the outline of the body, and then you see the little outline

with the huge head next to it. That's how you know. A bunch of guys are lining up for some reason. Yeah. To be fair, you didn't see someone get killed, but there was a crime scene near your Airbnb. I thought maybe it was a film, but it was not a film you know a lot of lot of films You would think so then in the in the nation of lums here in filmination here in Halali wood

That's the one we're always shooting for lums. That's what they call it. That's what they call it, but the I guess it's in the film now Yeah, yeah, yeah But you're you're crisscrossing you're on tour I asked Pre pre record if y'all were doing it in a van, you're not doing it in a van. I hear no we have a Number of cars in a bit of a caravan that we're taking. Okay. Yeah, it's more of a freedom ride. Do you stop, here's the real question. Do you stop at the same truck and rest stops

in between your destinations? Like do you have walkie talkies? Are you coordinating? Oh, definitely no walkie talkies. We can barely coordinate as it. That would be cool though. That would be neat no and for the most part it's like okay see you in Boise in seven hours like that's mainly been the

the vibe which is like you know not been terrible it's just been it's been a lot can i just tell you too walkie talkies are shockingly affordable in 2025 a really high quality set of walkie talkies you can get for like $30. I think it's time. Is it time for walkie talkies? Of course. We're gonna drive Jeff and Jeff is our documentarian who's helping us film and cover the tour, which is really cool. And I think that that would be wonderful. Jeff is gonna love this. Jeff just needs to get an audio receiver that's on the same channel as the walkie talkies. He can record it all.

For a while there in college, Jordan and I went to the Radio Shack, and there was a wired intercom on sale for like $12.99 or something. So I bought a wired intercom. And Jordan's, when Jordan was an RA and I was an RA his room was immediately above mine So we just installed the intercom in between That's adorable the two rooms so that we could do Jordan Jesse go whenever we wanted. Yeah Who knows like breaker breaker good buddy. I got a new bootleg VHS of Mr. Show

It's very like kids from stranger things grew up into adult people Yes Who never went on any adventures or did anything cool? That's fun and didn't save anyone anything interesting But if you did you would have the way to let them out You would have exactly I went on the Jonathan Coulton cruise a couple of weeks ago and there's no cell reception at sea and

So and I had my 13 year old with me. So my wife bought us walkie talkies so that we could check in with each other if we weren't in the same place or needed to find each other. And they were very impressive. The only problem is that it turns out that boats are made of metal. That was like the fatal flaw in the plan. Like we could go truly,

these $30 Amazon walkie talkies, if one of us was in the state room and the other one was on the far end of the ship, you know, four football fields away or whatever, it was crystal clear. But as soon as we went up one floor The yeah the metal entirely broke it completely It's like a house it's That's right It feels like the opposite of like grind or geo location But it's like sometimes you'll be in a really tall building and you're like zero feet away

And you're like looking around like where could they be that's because they're just on a different floor It's like the opposite of that. You're just like don't go on on any floor though. It's like, I've got you for two miles. It's impossible to hook up at sea. It's just as impossible. It really is. Nobody's fucking on the Jonathan Colton cruise. Just kidding, everyone's fucking the entire time. I am fascinated by life on the road.

Something I've always wanted to do. We've done some like little Jordan, Jesse, go kind of mini tours where we've like rental car driven from show to show, but like I've never done anything this extensive. Where are you stopping and where are you staying? I'm curious about both. So many Airbnbs you've gotten us.

Yeah, it's usually cheaper to get an Airbnb that's for like six people than it is for us to get like six hotel rooms. And so for the most part, also just out of both time practicality and some safety considerations, we usually drive about like two hours after a gig to get a little bit away from the city and to kind of be able to reduce the level of driving the next day. And reduce the level of being hate-crimed after the show. Exactly. We wanna bring that down to a minimum. Yeah, sure, you wanna keep that lowest possible minimum.

As long as we can. A gentle hum of erasure. Yeah. Yes. So that's been kind of currently. Steven, can you turn down the erasure in that, folks? Oh, sorry, I've been playing that all morning. Can you turn up my eraser?

I want to drop a few ad-libs here real quick. Screech, screech. I mean, part of the, like, part of the, so Jordan and I have driven a little bit for our tours. Your tour is an all-trans tour. So when you're running an all-trans tour between Boise and Missoula, that's the one yeah, that's when that's when the logistics of the drive start to really The stakes really get raised. Yeah, my car got keyed in Montana They meant they meant they meant it.

They were like, we're going all the way to the medal with this one. It was. Definitely on their vision board, and they really actualized it. Yeah, apparently. Set your goals and go for them. Set your goals and go for them. Yeah, but besides that, I mean, for the most part, it's been pretty welcoming. We've only had a couple big trucks posture at us a few times and besides that everyone's been quite friendly

But I'm also happy to like be kind of here than gone. Yeah, even in friendly spaces Have you have you had any coal rolled? Really with coal rolling coal roll. You know, I feel like I'm from West Virginia I should probably know what that is because like we're big coal people but like I don't actually know that it's very gay We're big coal people, but like I don't actually know that it's very gay It sounds to me like that ice cream that they like scrape off the flat Yeah, no, this is definitely some that's going down in West Virginia right now, but it doesn't actually involve coal it involves you know how sometimes people will drive around in like, absurd lifted pickup trucks? Like not just huge work trucks,

but ones that are that look like somebody's art project only that's hostile to art. Some of them will will put in exhaust pipes up the sides that look like the exhaust pipes on a tractor trailer on a semi. And then they will make it so that they can over, they can like push a button to over enrich the fuel and it spouts out Extra exhaust so you're telling me that these trucks got some you know like surgical affirming So that they could you know shine as like bright as a pollutant as they possibly could and just really hard all over You know what I love that for them. It really is keep on shining

I love that. You know what? I love that for them. It really is good. Keep on shining, cold rollers. Keep on jizzing. You crazy trucks. It's perfect. Oh, speaking of, by the way, speaking of sexual trucks.

Time for our weekly segment, sexual trucks. Thank you to man minus one on the Maximum Fund subreddit a few weeks ago on the show a Few weeks ago. Hold on A few weeks ago on the show. I Someone called in a momentous occasion. I believe that Someone had put a sticker that said anal on their Ford Explorer, right? So I just creating the phrase anal Explorer. Yeah. I just want to thank man minus one on the reddit for making this list of Ford vehicles that you could put anal on. Oh, okay. Let's hear some of your favorites.

So the obvious one is going to be probe. Right. But also focus expedition Ranger Transit escort Fusion and Raider Anal Raider, yeah, it's like Tomb Raider What everyone wanted it to be anyway Yeah, it was also really nice of man minus one just expanded, you know, like there's a lot of was also really nice of man minus one just expanded you know like there's a lot of there's a lot of rivalry between the big three American you know vehicle

brands you know what Ford stands for fuck or repair daily exactly that exact same thing yeah oh really so no no first Chevrolet you you got Blazer, Groove, Spark, Tracker. Tracker is one of my favorites. The only problem is sometimes you're on different floors of the building. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, track anally. Seeker, Express, Avalanche, Venture, Celebrity,

which I like. Sure, I subscribe to that OnlyFans. And I'm going to be honest, the one that appeals most to me, master. Very sure. Anal master. Anal. Anal master. You earned that. Yeah.

You earned that degree. So thank you, man minus one on Reddit. Thank you, man minus one. Yes, I guess American cars are the most sex positive cars we're finding. You know, the people on Reddit, they're finding lost children and doing other important work. Yes, exactly. That is the Lord's work.

Finding the anal tractors. How have y'all's Airbnb's been? Have you found any like diamonds in the rough or is it all just like drawers that bang into walls? Carlos, I'll let you have this one. I feel like you have harder opinions. You have bigger opinions about this than I do. Listen, when we wake up, it's lovely.

It is lovely. I love waking up. Because you know you didn't get murdered in the night. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's hot, that's hot. Plus, there's probably a scratched up non-stick pan you can use to make those eggs.

Oh, there is. There always is. Is there a spatula? No. Don't need it. Don't need it. Use your fingers. Sure.

We were at one of these. And there was a road in on a dirt road, and visually through the very, very, very large window was playing almost a cinematic level screen of Rambo First Blood. Oh, okay. So sort of like how sometimes you check into a Hilton and you gave them your Hilton Honors number

and it says,. Mr. Thorne Yeah, they had just welcomed you with Rambo first blood on me was Here I are to serve you blood and To to serving blood by the way sure First blood yes first blood and to Sure. First blood to be specific. First blood. Yes, first blood. And two German shepherds to say hello. Oh, my God. Also behind the window, so that was lovely.

I was promised that when I woke up, I was going to see roosters. Yeah. And instead, I woke up to, I opened my window and there was a donkey. Oh, hey! That's fun. It was.

It's not fun, You didn't like it. Something? It was precious. I loved it. Okay. We matched our Eeyore energies. It was very, you know, we synced in. Tapped on your tails. And we left as fast as we possibly fucking could. It was... I don't know. I'm pretty into this donkey part. Were there any goats? There were goats. Yeah, see? Now we're talking. Now we're in business. I mean... I used to work on farms all time

So I'm just like oh, this is nice like I was like this is adorable What were your what are your favorite farm activities? I was promised cock out the window, and I got a donkey Goats fam love taking care of goats. Oh, yeah, love taking care of goats. I used to Work at a goat farm, and I got sick hair baby goats on the night shift God the dream it was it was a man. It was like getting paid to take care of baby goats on the night shift. Oh god, the dream. The fucking dream. It was like getting paid to go to therapy at two in the morning. It was a goat farm? Yeah, we made like cheese, mostly.

Because goats are usually a very ancillary creature on the farm. Like, goats are just like, I don't know, this goat wandered in and it was willing to eat tin cans so we let it stay. That's right. And so then when you have a bunch of them, it's like that, but like it's kind of like working with comedians. They'll eat anything. They'll eat everything. Their eyes are sideways. That's right. They'll eat anything. They're kind of just going to like yell at you. Like they're going to just be like loud and laugh at you, but like they're actually just very like sweet creatures, they just don't really know how to exist on this planet.

You know what I mean? What kind of supervision do they need overnight? Super, so it's mostly for the, so the babies need to eat every like four hours to not perish apparently, and which then they're very cute, they're very small and cute and jumpy, and their hooves are still very soft And so it's like fine if they're jumping all over you

But the moms need to be actually monitored because if they go into hold on hold on right they start with soft You can pet the hooves they feel kind of squishy They feel kind of like the palm of your hand and over time they get calloused into What feels more like kind of a hoof hoof that we know is right like a thick nail Oh, you know yeah, but when they're young they're just like kind of springy And so they'll be like jumping all over you and so if they hit you in the head It doesn't really hurt because it kind of just feels like you got like bopped with like you know a little funky A dull one

Where did the will goats eat a can I mean that's that's the best listen that's the that's the joke from 1910 or whenever but is it worth will they and also where did that comes because if we find out they won't we will move on to humor about phosphates and soda so yes they will eat pretty much anything. And I don't really know why that is a thing, but it just seems to be like at a certain point they're just like, I'll try it.

Sure, they're open-minded. I can try it, and then once they try it, they're just like, no, I could do it, I could do this. I kinda like it. And they'll just get through it. I kinda like the can. Yeah, yeah, and I am that way also. Just defy it. I am also that stuff. I'm eating it because it's good. That's right. I like it. And they'll just get through it. Yeah, yeah, and I am that way also. Just defy it.

I am also that stuff. I'm eating it because it's good. That's right. I like it. It wasn't a mistake to eat it. This is delish. I don't want syrup. Sure, no.

What'd they say? I wish you'd eat syrup with your can. Like, can black? Did you milk goats? I did. I milked goats. I mostly helped with the mamas and the babies though, so I would get to just feed the babies. I milked the papas. That was...

Hey, papas gotta get milked! Papa needs milkin'. Look, this is starting to sound like California dreamin' over here. Right. But the mamas would, they would give birth during the winter and sometimes they get so like large when they're pregnant that like they can't like get up. And so it was really sad, like that was the worst part of the job. But it's like, I feel bad, but it's like for a good reason.

You have to like kind of go and like be like, all right, mama, you got to like get up and walk around every couple hours. Like no, you got to get up. Otherwise these legs, these legies ain't going to work. Like I need you to do it. Like this really is like comedians. That's amazing It is like sure get up. We're going to boys I was doing that to rent this morning just two hours off for no goddamn reason sure just sit eight in the morning

Get up. We got to go around the corner. Yeah and get lost. Listen. It's impossible to get a goat on a podcast We've tried Scott, you know, clearly you ain't talking to the right people. Can you help us book a goat? It's all about who you fuck. Ryan, I'm sorry that I'm sticking with this milking topic. Was it a manual milking or was there a goat milking machine? There was manual milking. Manual milking. Is there a goat milking machine that you declined to use? No, it was not an option and also I don't necessarily even know how that would,

I mean, I guess I'm just not creative enough as an engineer. I'm just kind of like, what do you mean? I can't do this with my hands. Well, in the era of AI. Yeah. You know, I think we humans want to milk ourselves. Gotta do the milking. You know, like, beer chat GPT.

Yeah, exactly. Jordan, no milking out so milk, I've already once this morning Oh yeah Is that why you're so chill? Not all full of milk Gotta milk in the morning so you can fuck all night Thank you, thank you That's our new t-shirt

The Boise Homo's are just so friendly It was fantastic That crowd was great. It was fantastic. That crowd was great. The club was fantastic. Big shout out to the lounge at the end of the universe, also known as the Comedy Lounge Boise. Run by incredible people. The atmosphere was great. The audience was great. They were super welcoming. I've never seen that many people walk in as door tickets in a club before. People were just streaming on in. Everybody was so ready to laugh, like yes.

Yeah, they made us take pictures after. Wren was very uncomfortable with that. It was watching a group of autistics being forced to like sit together and hey, look up in the camera and touch these strangers was not very successful for everybody, but they got their photos, they got their photos. I love that.

Do y'all try and like, get, here's something, when I'm visiting a place I've never been, I like wanna research what the like delicacy of that place is. I wanna know the num num. And I just wanna get it before I leave. It's, I have an almost obsessive need to do that. And I, can I just confirm like, Jordan is not being hyperbolic.

I've seen this play out in real time. I also want to be clear, I support it. I love to ride in Jordan's wake to the Juicy Lucy in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Is that something y'all do or is that like, you know, we'll grab Taco Bell on the road. Oh god. No, okay. What no no no no no no I've been looking for the best avocado toasts or whatever the local delicacies for the morning sure You're exclusively touring Portland. Yeah, yeah, I just bring it with me. I bring the Portland with me I don't know if you've heard this, but it's gonna prevent you from buying a house. Sorry Sorry to break this to you

It would have been easy from being a stand-up comedian Yeah, a stand-up comedian driving themselves across the country. I was already in That's the reason fucking ass can't give it up Yes, that was I mean and we've been for, I've been looking for like the sweets, myself and our filmographer every morning, Jeff and I are like, okay, where is the bakery? The bakery. Oh, okay, yeah, sure.

We need to know where's the baked good, and we don't want the one that, you know, they're shipping in, you know, pre-packaged chip. No, no, you don't need that. No, no, no, no, no. I wanna see Lucy baking. Yeah. Because that is something you can kind of reliably have in every town, you know, like, you know You don't you don't need to seek out the best Mexican food in Boise But everywhere probably does have a bakery that is like famous and the people kind of line up for cardamom buns cardamom buns

Cardamom buns, which is now my nickname buns, cardamom buns, cardamom buns, which is now my nickname. Breakfast is such a priority for me when I'm traveling because of headaches. And like I, if I am on the road with people who can just, you know, grab a grab some coffee and figure it out at lunchtime. Uh, I have to like insist, but I will eat a, uh, I will eat a ham and cheese croissant anywhere. There you go. That's safe. That's safe. I eat no ham and cheese croissants in my day-to-day life because they're poisonous.

Like it's basically just eating a stick of butter plus some other things that are worse for you than butter. But, like, I know that even at a Starbucks or something, I can just eat a ham and cheese croissant and I'll be okay until lunch. Yeah, it is the quick breakfast thing that has a little bit of protein. I think with your quick breakfast thing, sometimes you're getting briefly satisfied, and then you're like, oh, my God,'s 10.30, I have no protein in me

and I'm mad at everyone. And I need four lunches now. And now I need four lunches. And it's one hour till the next rest stop. Oh. Yeah, that's been the other thing. Amazingly, I've lost weight on the... You look amazing.

Oh, thank you. I've never met you before, but you look better now than you ever have. I agree and you Oh, and you. This old thing. Come on. I'm pointing at my body. Stop it. That's a swimmer's body. I'm so glad that your complexion cleared up for this radio But listen, let's let's take a minute let's admire each other's bods. Grab a ham and cheese croissant We'll come back for a little bit more. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Goh.

It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Hey, if you're in the Chicago area and you're listening to this the day it comes out or the day after it comes out, we better see you on Friday night. That's April 11th at Sleeping Village in Chicago. We're going to have a fucking great show. Jordan, don't learn anything about Juggalos because I wrote a Juggalo quiz. Oh my gosh.

Well, whoop whoop, I guess. Yeah, whoop whoop indeed. Sorry, I guess that's something about Juggalos because I wrote a Juggalo quiz. Oh my gosh. Well, whoop whoop, I guess. Yeah, whoop whoop indeed. Sorry, I guess that's something about Juggalos. Should I try and forget that they say whoop whoop? Just wipe it from your mind. Okay, done. Done. Just forget the phrase, blaze ya dead homie.

It's gone. Just forget that. I don't even know what you said. Forget that. Okay, so we got a Juggalo quiz, we got some great guests. Just forget that. I don't even know what you said. Forget that. That's okay. So, we got a Juggalo quiz, we got some great guests. Sam Riegel, our buddy from Critical Role will be joining us and also Peter Segel from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

So, that's going to be a blast. Two of our best buds. We're going to goof around, have a great time and there's a little after party after. Yeah, I'm DJing Soul 45. So they like having a, it's like a cool bar club, Sleeping Village, and they like to keep the party going after the show ends. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

So they said, would you DJ? I said, look, I'll bring my crates. You provide the cartridges, I'll provide the crates. So Soul 45s it is after the show. You're gonna be throwing those crates on the plane? Yeah, I'm gonna bring a crate on the plane. I mean, it's just like a little, it's 45, so it's just gonna be a little, it's a little, you know, it's like a little, but I'm, it's gonna be, I packed everything else into a backpack so that I could bring it with me on the plane and not have to check any luggage. Hey, Jesse's gonna be, Jesse's gonna be spending records. I'm gonna have books and comics to sign. So if you want some signed

books, come hang at Sleeping Village. It's gonna be fun, fun, fun. And we are of course always supported by the members of Maximum Fun. We are also this week supported by the folks at Zoc Doc. Jordan, you got a little bit of a weird cold right now as we record this. Boy, you got a little bit of a weird cold right now as we record this. Boy, do I ever. Now you could, you could try and call, try, first of all, try and remember whatever the last general practitioner doctor you went to was. Sure.

Then try and find their phone number, then call them and make an appointment for three weeks from now, which will be the next time that they're available to make an appointment to check out your cold. Or Jordan, you could use ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. So like Jordan, for example? For example. You want a doctor that takes your example. For example. You want a doctor that takes your insurance. Of course. You want a doctor that's nearby. That's what

I want. You want a doctor that specializes in in hot foreheads. I want it so bad. Well great news you can filter by all those things on ZocDoc and then you can see their actual appointment openings, choose a time that actually works for you, and click, click, click, book a visit, and then just go to the doctor. It shouldn't be hard to go to the doctor. It should be easy. No, going to the doctor is too hard.

This sounds wonderful. I am genuinely constantly struggling with finding a doctor who takes my insurance, so I cannot wait to plug it into ZocDoc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash jjgo to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash jjgo, zocdoc.com slash JJ Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. I am Ren Q Dal. You're supposed to have a dumb nickname, Ren. A dumb nickname? Oh my God, I've had way too... Fam, we've had way too many names in our life to be going to dumb nicknames now. Caudalus Kareem Wyndham, Ophilary Goddess. Thank you.

I love it. I love this for all of us. I love Ren's refusal to pick a nickname. Yeah, you know, isn't a refusal kind of the ultimate nickname if you think about it That is you know, I've been thinking about it Jordan I think refusing to pick a nickname in a lot of ways is the ultimate nickname I've also been thinking that we've all been thinking hold on. Hold on Yeah, I thought it cool See that's where we're at in podcasting, just thinking on mic.

Link it through. Listen to us think. I just want to think of the words. Yes. Yeah, we can go back to just asking questions. Not answering them. Hey, before we continue on the program, can I just say thank you to everyone who joined Maximum Fund during the Max Fund Drive.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Thank you to everyone who was already a Max Fund member. Thank you to everyone who boosted and upgraded their membership. You are our heroes, and we are so immensely grateful to you. Yeah. Thank you so much.

We love doing this goofy goofball show that has no reason to exist And we hope to keep doing it for many years to come and you you the listener you the joiner are the reason it happens I expect that I will die this year. Oh How give us a taste give us a tease. How will you die? The Oracle has foretold so Sure, a crow dropped a mouse onto a plate yeah yeah well here then I ate the mouse and I'm allergic to mice yes that's your first I just can't resist those tiny bones yep they look good oh when something momentous happens to you like the oracle foreells your passing. Give us a call at 206-984-4-FUN or

just send us a voice memo at jjgo at MaximumFun.org as this person is done. Hello Jordan, Jesse and guest. I'm gonna guess Actress, comedian and high school classmate Kate Mccoochie. Absolutely right. This is Bridget from Pennsylvania and I'm calling with a momentous... Can you pause this for a second? Do you think Kate McCoochie, I've never actually met Kate McCoochie, although we travel in similar circles. I have, she's great.

Do you think that she went to high school with Bridget, is that the caller's name, Bridget, with Bridget? Or do you think she's just saying that Kate McCoochie probably didn't go to high school so much? Right. That'd be an odd thing to just drop into a call, but you know, a fun fact's a fun fact. Yeah. We wish Kate, Kate McCoochie, come on Jordan Jessica.

You're welcome to come on Jordan Jessica. Yeah, sure, we've met a few times. Anytime. Pennsylvania, and I'm calling with a momentous occasion. I'm about to eat my very first Satsuma. So being from the part of the country that is less blessed in the citrus department, I had never even heard of a satsuma until Jesse began talking them up on the show, but I have been wanting to try one ever since. Well today I was at the flea market getting my stepdad's cuckoo clock repaired and on my way out PAUSE! PAUSE THE CALL! PAUSE IT! PAUSE THE CALL!

What is all this Satsuma bullshit about? Let's talk about the cuckoo. The momentous occasion is I got my stepdad's cuckoo clock repaired at the flea market. At the flea market. There's a cuckoo clock repair at the flea market flea market. There's a cuckoo clock repair at this flea market Can I just say a wonderful? Flea market guy is a guy who's sitting there next to a sign that says I will fix your cuckoo clock That's the one it's just it's just speaking of autistic guys. It's just an autistic guy that has found his passion Monday through Friday. He's a CPA. On the weekends he dons

those little magnifier super eyeglasses that slide down in front of your regular eyeglasses and just fixes cuckoo clocks all day if you had a hundred bucks a pop. I love that. Yeah, it is confusing though when they do sit at the table and have the sign that says I'll fix your cuckoo clock, change my mind. What's that? Yeah, why wouldn't you? You're like, is this an offer or a threat? I cannot. Unclear.

Can we hear the interview? I wonder, will the caller live taste a Satsuma? What I love about this call, Jordan, is we've often asked people to call in their momentous occasions as close to the occasion occurring as possible in a live listen. What a dream. My only concern here is that Bridget, I'm sure, every time I look at Stephen, like he remembers what the caller's name is and he just goes, yeah probably. Great name. Bridget's in, I believe, Pennsylvania, is that correct? That is correct. I do remember that.

In Pennsylvania. And Mike, my worry is, first of all, this is going to be a Louisiana Satsuma. It's no California Satsuma. It's interesting. On my recent trip to New Orleans, where we say, Benye done that. What do they say in New Orleans, Jordan? Benye done that. Okay. Satsumas were all over menus there. Yeah. They were everywhere.

Yeah, because Louisiana is a big satsuma producing state. It's the other part of the United States that produces satsumas. But you know, satsumas don't travel well, which is why you don't see them a lot around the country. They don't ripen off the vine. Also why we don't take them on tour They do not travel

Too much crowd work, you know, I mean, I'm just trying to have a fucking fucking get an act. Yeah. Thank you We're gonna ask fruit might rap ass fruit What kind of work do you do says the satsuma? Come on? Okay, I mean it got a Netflix special off it. It's very handsome. It is very Yes, the problem that's what people want handsome crowd work you go to a flea market and someone's just like I haven't even heard of That's it Writing that in the comments I Only like Nate Barghazi they write sure I only like Nate Bargazzi, they write. Sure.

It's not about, there's nothing wrong with Nate Bargazzi. It's not about Nate Bargazzi being bad. It's tough to peel though. No, I can't hear anymore people tell me about Nate Bargazzi. He's a funny guy, he's a talented guy. It's not bad, it's just, okay, anyway. It's a ton of... I'm just a little worried about this session where maybe being out of season or maybe being

too far from home. I'm just worried. The stakes are pretty high here. You're worried it out of season or maybe too far from home. I just worry the stakes are pretty high here. It's lonely. It's too far from home. No, I'm worried about my reputation. I mean, I've really put in a lot of my sort of brand equity with Satsuma. You have given them the Jesse Thorne bump. That is a fact. Satsuma you have given them the jessie thorn bump. Yeah, that is a fact easy peels the easy peel high flavor citrus to light so Let's hear it. It also say I did not get great satsuma's this year in California. Mm-hmm. So okay anyway go ahead But selling them so I bought a bag and here I am about to eat my very first one

I am peeling the satsuma now. It's gonna be a really easy process for her. I'm eating the satsuma. I love that the caller is narrating this like they know good audio. Yep, that is a delicious fruit. Yes, there we go. Thanks so much for the show and thanks for the citrus inspiration.

That is a delicious fruit. That is my t-shirt. I want that on the t-shirt. So many t-shirt ideas in this episode. Wait until Bridget tries cherimoya's. Oh, boy. That's gonna be a call. A big thing that happens on r slash fruit

is somebody just posts a picture of a fruit and says, what fruit is this? Just a big fan of r are slash fruit for for the post to say what fruit is this somebody always knows what fruit it Is usually it's from Thailand It just got a lot of different fruit also sounds like my grinder What fruit is this this is from Thailand I mean that's right. Yeah, seems good See we got another call in the old call bag. Hey Jordan, hey Jesse, hey Go.

I have a spooky, romantic occasion. I work at a local history museum and we have a lot of people coming in or calling in who want to research the history of their house. Today, I had someone do that, but what they were trying to find out was the names of people who had lived in their house before them because they were trying to confirm if their three-year-old had been talking to a ghost. Thanks. Love you guys. That was Bluey.

Bluey they were talking to. I think I know enough about Bluey to understand what you're talking about. It's just a character that three-year-olds like. Right. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. I thought maybe there had been some twist where Bluey was dead the whole time. Yeah, the parents are crazy. They're crazy with grief. M. Night Shyamalan's Bluey. M. Night Shyamalan's Bluey. Yeah.

They think it's their fault. They think it's their fault. Do y'all believe in ghosties? You know, I don't. But I do like haunted stuff, and I think we were talking on a previous episode that I really love taking a haunted tour when I'm in a new city. I should explain. I feel like there's a clarification

that needs to be made. When Jordan says, I really like haunted stuff, what Jordan means is, I really like thick goth chicks. Yes. I like putting myself into a situation. Yeah.

Yeah, I like don't, I've never had a ghost experience myself, but I think the people who are having them are sincere, and maybe I just don't know enough about energy. I think some people who are having them are probably being sarcastic. Ew, I told a cold bitch. You said that.

On the Queen Mary. You said that, you're like, maybe, okay, you're like, now I'm not an engineer Are y'all ghost people I definitely believe in ghosts I live in the oldest town of West Virginia for like growing up and like It was just very I mean it was just like a fact of life like I didn't realize other people didn't like believe in Ghosts what are you just live? We just lived with them. What were your big ghosts? We had an apartment, we called it the Fairmont House, and our ghostie there was like a watery spirit,

so we would just lock the doors and turn all the faucets on. Cool. And we would get locked out and be like, buddy, can you please? It was just kind of living with an obnoxious roommate. And then we had a couple of really poltergeisty ghosts that like lived in other apartments that I just refused to like sublet from because they would be like, oh yeah, like we found like this random skinned dead animal in the basement. Wait, hold on. When you say you refused to sublet from, are you suggesting that these ghosts are signing leases?

Essentially, yeah. Well, I mean, you have to make the decision to live with that. You're just trying to, they're like, yeah, so you know, it's like you're kind of going through and you're doing all the apartment stuff. They're like, the dishwasher works, but you can't overload it, and make sure that this is on, otherwise the bathroom will get weird. And you always have to, and the back door

doesn't lock really well, but you gotta do this. And also, Jerry, who died in 1758, is probably gonna try to kick your cat outside So just be like mindful, you know and like yeah Yeah, it was just really real and like I don't know I think that for the most part they were not Malicious, but like they were definitely a few houses where I was like I ain't going that party Carlos How do you feel about a ghost? I?

Hey, I want them back If I just feels like if ghosts were so you want to find new bodies for is that not what we're talking about what's back oh sir hi this year Apple bottom jeans Apple bottom jeans go sessom and sriracha. Numb. Yeah, I mean, I deal with spirit more than ghost, which is, you know, dealing with the weird Zs that drive us all, I think. I just assumed you were gonna say

that's when you turn some form of natural sugar into alcohol to drink. Absolutely, duh, slup, slup. Fun with language. Slup, slupup is that words? It is now. I'm really good at this. You gotta sell it. I'm really good at this. Slup slup slup. You're like I drink slup slup Bottomless mimosas slup slup party babe here slup slup

Sound of catching nuts. Slup slup slup slup. Everyone knows I have friends Well let's do this. I'm very normal. Let's take a break, list all our friends, and then we'll come back for a little more. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Dr. Game Show is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners with callers from all around the world, and this is a game to get you to listen.

Name three reasons to listen to Dr. Game Show. Kyla and Lunar from Freedom, Maine. Dishes. Folding the laundry. Doing cat grooming. Okay, thank you. Great. Oh, things you could do while listening. Yeah. I love that the rea- I'm like why do you listen to the show and Lunar's like dishes? Fantastic. Manolo. Number one is that it'll inspire you. You're gonna be like oh I could do that. That's all we have time for but you'll just have to find Dr. Game Show

a maximum fun to find out for yourself. Say you like video games, and who doesn't? I mean, some people probably don't. Okay, but a lot of people do. So say you're one of those people, and you feel like you don't really have anyone to talk to about the games that you like. Well, you should get some better friends. Yes, you could get some better friends,

but you could also listen to Triple Click, a weekly podcast about video games hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton, me, Maddie Myers, and me, Jason Schreier. We talk about new releases, old classics, industry news, and whatever, really. We'll show you new things to love about games, and maybe even help you find new friends to talk to you about them. TripleClick.

It's kinda like we're your friends. Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Ren Q. Dawes, Silly the Pooh. Carlos Karim Windham, very confused by what Ren said. Silly the poo. Lot of great poos out there, Winnie, of course.

Winnie. And now, silly. Yeah. And that's why I have a travel bidet. Well formed. It's well formed. Do you have a travel bidet? I do have a travel bidet.

Oh, I'm so jealous. With you on tour? Absa fucking Luley is. Wow. Is travel bidet here with us right now? Shlup, shlup, shlup, shlup. Whoa! Travel bidet's here!

What even is a travel bidet? It looks, uh. Don't tell me that it's not a glorified water bottle. It's, it. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, it's just a Nalgene bottle of a hose. Oh my God. That's all you do.

You just put a little straw in the Nalgene bottle and squeeze it. Yeah, that know like I learned from our friend Cristela Alonso that there are humidifiers where that you can take on the road with you. Yes. Where you just screw a plastic water bottle into the humidifier. So the humidifier itself is really small. Very much the same thing. It looks, in its package before you take it out, it looks like a dick and so you pull it out and it still looks like a dildo but you untwist the bottom of it, slide that out and the top of your dildo is where you put your water, put the bottom of the dildo back on it

And then the top flips out and you can slide that right under your right under your little your little your little your little Butter yeah, yeah, and and it's got low or high so you can put whatever Does it I started going on Amazon halfway through you know? So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's coming in the mail tomorrow. Is it battery operated? It is. It is so much better than the first one I had was like a squeeze. Well, I like that one too much. So like years ago at my former home, I decided I'm going to go on to the popular product review website wire cutter. I'm going to purchase the top rated bidet toilet seat.

So not a bidet toilet, not a toilet, but, but where you just take the seat off and put on a new seat. I install it myself. You know, it's not that hard to just plug it into the wall and connect it to the water line on your toilet. And this thing was revolutionary to my life. I was like, this is, I'm never using another bathroom again no matter how long I have to hold it. Yeah. Like this is a wonderful machine. But then I moved to my current house and none of my toilets are close enough to an electrical plug to plug in the plug. Incompatible. And so I literally-

Burn it down for the insurance money. I literally had to, I had like had a conversation with an electrician. He was at my house for a different purpose, for repair. But I was like, hey, could you like knock on my wall or whatever it is to find out where the conduits are to see what it would take to get an electrical plug close enough to my toilet so that I could plug in a plug-in bidet. And he's like, okay.

And it was like, it wasn't like a $10,000 thing, but it was like a $800 thing or something, you know what I mean? So I was like, it is so life changing that if it was just the price of a dishwasher, like a $600. I mean, what is the ass but the dish of the body.

Thank you. That's right. Gotta eat often. You must. Gotta eat often, clear your plate. It's gotta Thank you. That's right. Gotta eat off it. You must. Gotta eat off it. Clear your plate. It's gotta be clean. Clear your plate.

Have you considered an extension cord? OK, but then the thing is, is the extension cord would run through the, like, it would be such a mess. Like, it would go past my, the door to the bathroom. I would have to, I would, maybe I would like run it up above the door frame, then over, then down, then into the like sink plug. But that would be such a fucking ugly ass disaster mess. And I would do a very bad job.

Like I want to, I can't emphasize enough what a mess it would be if I tried to do this or how? Big of an asshole I would feel like if I had a handyman come to my house to run an extension court I What I'm hearing is that we're not investing in our booty hole care Yes, because I'm just like hanging and I have to make it I was like you're like it's gonna be such a mess It's gonna be such a mess and I was just like and a mess, and I was just like, and so are those anal fishers, my man. Come on now, we have to take care of business.

Ren, can I tell you something? The more I hear you speak, the more I understand that I have been thinking about this as an expense and not an investment. That's right. And I think that's the problem. Ultimately, this is about passive income. Yes.

It'll make a big money. Big money there. Yes. It's make a big money. Big money there. Yes. It's like an NFT you shit out of. By the way, speaking of bathrooms, the Here to P Tour is the tour that you guys are on. This is like, this is a bunch of, the basic idea of this thing is this is a group of trans comics. A gaggle. Wren you're the leader of the, you're the front person for this operation, but there are both regulars and people phasing in and out behind you.

And you're going to all 50 states? Yes. That's wild. Thank you. We think it's the first time it's ever been done. We tried to look up if there were other like trans people that had performed in all 50 states and we couldn't find it. Did you call the Guinness people?

I tried to call the Guinness people actually because I also want to put our name in for the bucket when we finish it. But like yeah. They did have furthest a trans person has thrown a football. Indeed. Eddie Hazard hit 50 yards Eddysard hit 50 yards Longest a trans person has kept a top aloft

A lot of fun records out there That's right I, yeah, so I feel like it's like we have some sort of kind of like record breaking thing to it because it's just I don't know Maybe it's not a metric that we track but I'm like we track everything Like we did, like we know how many like, you know, we're just like Oh, this was the first person that rolled a peanut up a hill with their nose Sure, you know And I'm just literally a thing that we have and I'm just like then we have to have this so like I think

That's exciting that we get to we get to do it's been really cool to get to work with a bunch of local Performers and see that trans folks are just everywhere making art and making making jokes and that's been really neat And they're so young. Yeah, they're so young. I love them It must be fun to like not that way get to know. And they're so young. Yeah. They're so young. I love them. It must be fun to like... Not that way. Get to know... Thank you.

I just clarify. Sure. Yeah. It must be fun to get to know like the like vibrant queer communities of every city in America with a population of 180,000. Yeah. Every single, every single area has that community. And right now, I mean, not to be sincere,

because this is not the place, but. You know what? If there's any time, it's the end of the show. All right. I love it. I love it. You know, it really, seeing community come together and recognize not only themselves,

but humor that is neither self-deprecating none of us is that I am gorgeous I can't do there's no room there's no space I smell fantastic yeah can confirm right what am I gonna do so notice that upon entering the office thank you very much it will be here four days after, I'm sorry. It lingers. It lingers. But honestly, seeing these folks who are, it was wild. You know, I was fucking around about Ren not being comfortable at the door

during the photo shoot, but people were weeping. And the love and seeing folks who clearly had not been embraced, right? If not by their families, certainly not by the nation as we stand, as we are celebrating a D-transition day, we're going to D-transition together from Jews to Palestinians. It's just seeing folks who know that they have a place where love is the only thing being served.

And doing it with joy and humor and urine. And Wren has facilitated that. Yeah, it's been really neat to see. And also just surprising that there's so many queer people everywhere. There's so many of us everywhere. The Youngs are on bashful. Yeah, they're ready to go. And it's been nice too, because a lot of it is making fun of the current situation, making

fun of ourselves in ways, and kind of poking fun at politics. That's definitely a big theme within the tour and the content that we're pulling but Like a lot of it too is also just being able to be like, you know, we can approach this with a sense of humor we don't have to be like just as Offensive and aggressive and like, you know awful back because I don't think that's gonna like it's clearly gotten us so far I'll forbid people have no sense of humor. That's right And apparently we have a we have a good bit of it and we get to spread it around and that's really been neat.

So yeah, we're also raising funds for LGBTQ nonprofits for every show. Every show. Yeah, 50% of the proceeds go to a regional nonprofit that does direct service or advocacy work for the LGBTQ community and especially the trans community as well, which is cool, because they are also being starved for funds right now as well so it's it's like a nice kind of addition who's

somebody cool that you've met on the way who's a cool person you met come on who's a cool person that I met along the way um man trans Jennifer Gotti oh my god was he was phenomenal she was fantastic she was a drag queen came in did a really fun Harry Potter like bit and that's been I was like really cute to get to like poke fun at I was a really good one speaking of which I got attacked by a bunch of Harry Potter actors when I got it I don't know what the fuck is going there's a Harry Potter play on Sunset Boulevard or something huh yeah we didn't hear anything about that very upsetting and maybe more so than the murder.

Unexpected Harry Potter is a hate crime at this point in the history. We just have to prepare ourselves for Harry Potter anytime Harry Potter is. Well that's part of why we travel in a group. In case there's a loose rowling on the streets. You know what I mean first towel That's right I gotta gotta watch out for JD gotta watch out for JK right like we know that And I know that I look a little bit like you know just kind of the amalgamation of like

Daniel Radcliffe and like Draco Malfoy if they like decided to have a this is very child. This is very fair Which I know everyone on the radio can confirm As we speak, but yeah we speak. More visual jokes. That's right. That's right. Yeah, I don't know. Who's been cool for you? I honestly, it's been so many good people.

Who? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Last night, I met a comedian named Libby. Libby fucking killed it. It was funny, it was smart, it was concise, and it made me very, very envious of the ability to write jokes. It was, I mean, those were jokes, and they were good. I say words. Libby, great, great comic, great library app.

Yeah. True on now. Yo, I'm all up on that, Libby. Oh, well, I mean, if you're on a road trip, Great great comic great library app yeah now Oh, I mean you fear on a road trip you're definitely gonna want to download some audiobooks on Libby I'm the yeah We've been powering I've been powering through audiobooks on this trip because I'm just kind of like okay Tell you me some sort of like input because I am dying of boredom And we've been having Libby just read every single one of those two ran, and he has been doing a fantastic job. His voice is a little worn out.

There really is like, when you are touring the country, there is no more vivid reminder of the variance in population density in the United States than touring. Because you're in the Northeast, and you're like, great, our next show is 90 minutes away and you're just like, doop, doop, doop and then you have the whole day to fuck around. And then if you're in any other part of the country,

you're like, okay, well, 14 hour drive. Exactly, exactly. Yep, yep. Can confirm. We've been, as we said, like you get done with the show, you go three hours, four hours to find your donkey and then wake up in the morning, drive seven hours to your shell.

To find your Shrek. Find your Shrek and have that affair, do the appropriate posting because Shrek porn is what it's about. It's all about, at the end of the day, it's all about Shrek pornography and to a certain extent, Puss in Bo right? All of which can be found on Libby Where else is still where else is still on the docket because this is like a year-long project

Oh my god, we've only gotten through eight. We there's there's a State Tenth tenth show and seventh state I think so far Yeah And so we have on the because we're breaking it up into kind of legs So we have we're currently in the middle of the West Coast leg and then we'll do East Coast in April we have the northern leg in kind of August and then the southern leg in like November and Then we fly out to anything remaining but right now on this like part of the tour. We only have three places

Phoenix and then yeah, we have a Reno Phoenix Phoenix and then Albuquerque Salt Lake Oh, I can't wait for Albuquerque. Oh, okay. Wait for a cookie local food. I am yeah I've got family from there. It's gonna be Christmas style, all day, every day. Beautiful. Until my asshole explodes. But I've got the today. Is this an NBT situation, nothing but tamales? Nothing but tamales, all time. It's gonna be fantastic, it's gonna be fantastic.

Yeah, I think Albuquerque's gonna be a great show. And, really quick, just a quick back step. Really cool performer that I wanna shout out. And really quick, just a quick back step. Really cool performer that I want to shout out. We got to, we had people that requested ASL interpreters in Salem. Which was really cool. And I usually will kind of throw sign into my sets

because I'm deaf in my left ear, but I was like, oh, we have interpreters. So I don't need to do that, that's great. And one of the interpreters ended up being a trans guy. It was just like a totally circumstance. Yeah, it was like really oh, we have interpreters. So I don't need to do that, that's great. And one of the interpreters ended up being a trans guy. It was just like a totally circumstance. Yeah, it was like really happenstance. And I was just like, this is the spirit of the tour. This is so cool.

So I'm hoping that we can actually hire him to come out and do a couple shows with us back East. I wanna hire that lovely white woman who was my translator because I made her say nigger so many times. And it just was fantastic. Because the whole thing of distinguishingishing between N word and nigger. So we had to go there. And boy oh boy did she. She kept up with you. She kept up. She kept up. She kept up. She got cancelled. You find volunteers and you get them cancelled. That's it. That's the goal. Well hey, if this isn't reason enough to come

out to the tour I don't know what is hopefully people are just fucking sold at this point absolutely if you're not you're a fool Really a fool your social media is like the number one place to follow if we're looking for dates Mm-hmm. Yep, it's at Ren Q comedy or at here to pee on All socials and also rank you comedy comm and here to pee calm well Yeah, thank you both so much for joining us on the podcast. What a joy to get to talk to you. Thank you so much for having us.

Thank you, thank you. What a pleasure. Really, really appreciate it. And of course, Carlos, thank you for your many years of support, a long time Jordan Jessy. Hey, oh my God. Oh, I'm wearing a fistful of rings from the PTO shop right now.

That's true, I noticed. Don't think I didn't notice. That's right, that's right. Stephen Ray Morris is the producer of the program. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design. Thanks to The Free Design, thanks to their label Light in the Attic Records. You can join us on Reddit, reddit.com slash r slash maximum fun. You can join us on Instagram, Jordan Jesse Go Pod. Yes. You can join us on Instagram, Jordan Jesse go pod. Yes, you can join us on Instagram on our own Instagrams. Jordan David Morris, Jesse Thorne, very famous. And on Facebook at facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse go. We're also on blue sky. Hey, at Jordan

Jesse go. Just Jordan Jesse go. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. ["Joy to the World"]

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