Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Munched Gecko, with Jordan, Jesse, and Go!

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

This week, we've got a jumbo-sized mailbag episode! Jordan, Jesse and engineer Daniel Speer chat about gas station heroin, flight rates to Abu Dhabi, and Jesse finally learns the chords to a classic Danny DeVito standard.  *Check out what’s new on Bullseye with Jesse Thorn. *Check out more Amazing Spiderman content from Jordan. *Pre-order Jordan’s new Web of Venom comic. *Check out Jordan’s comic Predator: Bloodshed. * Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood! * Order Jordan’s new Venom comic! * Donate to Al Otro Lado. * Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!   ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~ Get  Bronto Dino-Merch! Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store. Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug! The Maximum Fun Bookshop! Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes! Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On. Follow producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram. Get your next Lambo (or any car, really) with CarGurus.  Thank you to engineer Daniel Speer!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Under the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Jordan, during the Max Fund Drive, which is coming up April 20th. Can't wait.

We're going to be bringing back our hit show, The Subdoms. Yes. Every weekday at 9 Pacific, noon eastern, we will be... We will be just going... ape shit on each other's sack. Just really bringing the sack torture. Pling, bling, bing, boing, bong. Good dunk, gondunk, ro, ral.

This is this... This is the... This is the show. Yeah, exactly. This is the show, although clowns probably got a great sack to go nuts on. Oh, yeah. And imagine, what about an elephant? Oh, yeah.

One of nature's mightiest sacks. Yeah. This is the show where we, each episode, we pick a subreddit and explain it to Tother. That's the sub. That's the sub in the subdom. Subredits. And I think people who listened to that show last year during the Max Fund. If you're a Max Fund member, you can go back and listen to it in the member-only feed. Yeah. So this is us going deep on niche subredits like R-slash marbles, R-slash root beer, R-slash-Gazzilla.

just, you know, seeing what those weird little subcultures are chopping it up about. Now, I think that on the last season, we discussed one of my favorite subreddits, R-slash fruit. Yes. Now, a few different things go on on R-slash-fruit. The main thing that happens is someone posts a picture of some fruit and says, can I eat this or has it gone bad? Uh-huh. And then someone else says, that's copaganda. Yeah, that's all cooking and food-related subreddits are just someone asking, can I eat this or has it gone bad?

Then there's a guy who posts his dad's fruit salad every day. It's a really, makes a really nice fruit salad a day? Yeah, every morning for breakfast. Wow. Okay. And then just different people who got their hands on a mango stain. Okay. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's just like I got some nice strawberries, but usually it's like, oh, I got my hands on a mango steen.

Maybe I don't know what a mango steen is. I don't know. I mean, don't ask me what a fucking mango steen is. Is it a piece of equipment or is it a mango? It's a type of fruit. It is not a mango. Okay. It is a tropical fruit. Gotcha.

Or sometimes somebody will post, I ate a dragon fruit. Are they always this disappointing? And everyone else says, yes, especially the white ones. They look so beautiful. The rosy flesh, I think, or maybe taste a little better. But they mostly are watery and incredible looking. So this was a post with a tag that I had not seen. You know how you can like tag?

a Reddit post with like a category or something. Yeah. Depending on the subreddit. This one was tagged medicinal. Okay. Which I don't think that had ever come up in my eyes. But they have a tag for it. Well, Ben the God 1324 was glad to use that tag.

The subject line is scurvy. Question mark. It starts out our matees. Thanks for checking out my post. he says, so I'm like really quite scared of getting scurvy. So I've been eating like one to two bags of easy pealers per day. Does anyone know if your body makes a stock of the vitamins or anything?

Or potentially if I could end up with scurvy due to an overly high tolerance to vitamin C? Why is this guy so concerned about scurvy? Open parentheses, I also love, well, as he spelled it, I also love easy peeler. Right. Close parentheses. If he didn't love easy peeler, God, what a hell to put yourself in. Now, I got to tell you, one of my autistic children loves easy peeler's. I mean, I think we'd call them cuties here.

Sure. I think I've seen them tagged as easy peelers. Okay, great. Those will disappear at a rate of a bag every two days. Right. Is part of your kids concerned scurvy? Now, no, and I also want to be clear, a lot of people replied helpfully. A lot of people were nice enough to point out that he's probably confusing vitamin C and heroin.

That you don't build up a tolerance to vitamin C. Right. You just pee it out. If you got extra vitamin C, you just pee it on out. You get to the, you get to a point and you're just, you're just crushing up and snorting. What's that stuff you take to get on the plane? Airborne. Right.

Just doing lines of airborne because you can't feel any vitamin C anymore. I've been taking drama. By the way, no guess this week on the program. No guests this week. Yeah. Hey, hey, listener, who do you think canceled? Let us know in the comments. It was Tina Faye.

Tina Faye canceled. We hope to get her back. And yeah, for some reason, this is your, you know, first episode. You go back and check out one of the guest ones. Yeah, what would be somebody you like? Paul F. Tompkins, probably. Paul F. Tompkins. It's always great on the show.

But yeah, for all you, for all you heads out there, this is going to be fun. Yeah. Buckle up. Take a look up our asses. See what's in there. I also like, I understand now that. Ben the God, one, three, two, four, was saying, does your body store up the vitamins? Right. Right. But I like the idea that your body is making a stock out of whatever you put in.

Sure. Kind of an orange soup inside yourself. As somebody who always has a gallon bag of trimmings and bones going in his freezer so that I can make my own stock. Right. Which, as I recall, our friend Nick Adams declared, made me very fancy. and pretentious in the kitchen. Uh-huh. I don't know. Maybe I'm just frugal. Well, we need to get Nick in here. I'm not getting in the middle of this, okay?

Anyway. Neutral territory over here. I like the idea of my body making a stock of anything, making that there's a soup inside me. Could you make a soup of easy peelers? And I poop out the trimmings. Take those peels. Yeah. Soke them.

Because you're just tossing the peels. But the, don't you think that it would, the pith would make it too bitter? I don't know. I bet it would be healthful, don't they say that the peel of the citrus has a lot of, you know, nutrients or whatever? We have Daniel Spear on the boards this week. Daniel, can you look up orange peel soup? Orange peel soup, comma, healthful is. Parentheses, pith bitter, question mark.

Close parentheses. Stock hobby, comma, pretentious. This is getting kind of long. Just look up if there's a soup that you can make out of oranges. Right. Can we make an orange soup? We'll come back to it. Okay.

So, yeah, we're, we're, uh, we're, uh, we're in the middle of this, uh, of this scurvy question, scurvy drama. Then I was like thinking to myself. Hold on. I'll admit, I don't really know what scurvy is. I know it as a poll for a pirate disease. And I do know that vitamin C cures or helps it. It's a really know what it is.

It's a horrible disease that you get when you don't have any vitamin C. Okay. You have to not have vitamin C. for months. Okay. And you have to really not be getting any vitamin C. Your teeth all fall out. You go insane and die in horrible pain. And it doesn't have anything to do with being at sea. No. The reason that the reason that people at sea get scurvy is because they don't have access to fresh food. Gotcha. So the reason that British people are called limies is because at some point, Britain, the greatest naval nation in the world for hundreds of years, figured out that they

should give limes to their sailors to suck on and that they wouldn't get scurvy. Okay. And the limes last a long time. So you can suck, if you suck on a lime, you'll not get scurvy. Fascinating. This should be the podcast. You saying interesting things and me going, wow. I know.

Imagine if we did a show with the format that people liked. Sure. Can you imagine how much less funny we would have? have to be if people were learning anything. Yeah. I'm sorry, that's the premise for the dollop. Okay. Oh, got it. Okay. Okay. Got it. We wish them the best. We do. We wish those guys the best. You had Garrett on the show. We had Garrett on the show. You know, I'd never met Dave Anthony. Guys, a giant's fan. Okay. How come I've never met that guy? I don't know. There's only like three celebrity giants fans in our circle. Right. Al Madrigal. Dave Anthony. I can't even come up

with a third right now. I think you'll, I think you'll go to a game together. I want to go to a game with Dave Anthony sometime. I never met the man. Okay. So anyway, I looked at this scurvy thing. Uh-huh. And I thought, Ben the God, one, three, two, four. Is this the God or the God?

The God. Okay. Ben the God, one, three, two, four. Gotcha. Presumably, Ben the God, one, two, three, four was taken. I thought, is this, is this guy just stirring the pot? Sure. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's a fine theory, I think. I looked at his post history. This is, I brought this up on Jordan, Jessica, before, but a great passion of mine is to run into a weird post and then think, I wonder what kind of person this is and go into their post. And really find out what they're posted on R slash Calgary. It's nice, because, yeah, if someone, you know, and if you see something on Reddit where someone is talking shit about you, it is nice to click over to their post history and see the evidence of a sad person.

Oh, what a treasured is. I don't want anybody to be sad. I don't want people to be sad. But I don't want anyone to talk shit about you. No. And if someone is talking shit about Jordan... They should be sad. No one ever talks shit about me on Reddit, just so you know.

Just me. It's not a whole subreddit for that. But if I should happen to see someone... R slash stock snobs. Yeah. If I happen to see someone, talking shit about my friend Jordan and I click back and I see that just they spent the previous day talking shit about a particular Digimon.

Right. Yeah. Then I feel a lot better. Or it's like, or it's like yelling, yelling at an only fans model who's posting in a cosplay forum. Yeah. I think that's exactly. That they're just there for the attention.

So I went back and looked at Ben the God. Keep posting hot cosplay only fans model. Please. I enjoy it. Yeah. Don't, don't make. them stop. Yeah.

Anyway. We want them to want the attention. We want to give them attention. Sure. They're dressed as hot predator. Yes. This came up when we were on reading smut. Yeah.

The great podcast with Brea and Mallory where we read a smut and talked about it. We had so much fun on that chest. Had so much fun on that show. But yeah, in advance of writing the Predator Comics miniseries, Predator Bloodshed, Issue 2, in shops this week. I hope you have issue one.

If not, grab those of them. I have issue one. I got to go get issue two. I did hang out a little bit on R-slash predator, and there is a, you know, there is a prominent predator cosplayer who does a fucking fantastic job with the armor, does the helmet, does all the weapons, makes them, has like a couple different predators with different color schemes. Also, this person has giant jugs. Uh-huh. And by and large, I am really.

pleased with the predator fandom of being positive to this cosplayer when they post. I always enjoy the post, so keep them coming. But the first one I saw, you know, lots of upboats, beautiful predator costume, huge jugs. The top post was just all caps. Take my spine, queen. He wants his spine taken.

So horny that he wants his spine. removed and put on the wall. My, Carl Weddard. Like happened to Carl Weathers. Yeah, poor Carl Weathers. Okay. So I looked at Ben the God 1324's post-history. I can confirm this is 100% real.

Wow. It's a real person. Is Ben the God just posting about scurphy and other forums? Well, like, no, but Ben the God is posting about lots of regular but unusual concerns. Okay. Like, for example, it was clear, there was, like, there was a post that was a meme of, like, English foods. They seem to, they seem to live in England. Yeah.

And there was a meme of English foods in R slash casual UK. Uh-huh. And Ben the God wrote, Yorkshire pudding is top tier, towed in the hole is God, and Haggis is top tier. Okay. So, by the way, Toad in the Hole, they spelled W-H-O-L-E. Oh. They are British. They post a lot in, I mean, it is never surprising when I find this out.

But they post a lot in different, really specific psychedelic drug forums. Okay. Like, I think I am often shocked at how many Redator's are there to talk about psychedelics, really specific marijuana stuff. Yeah. Or like drugstore heroin. Like gas station heroin. Like cratom.

What's gas station here? Just like... There's just all these, like, there's all these synthetic pseudo opioids. Really? A gas station? Yeah, yeah. Like rhino dick pills, but heroin? Yes.

I had no idea. Yeah. You could just buy them behind the counter. I'm not saying this. they're not made of... I'm high on life. He was Ben... I'm crazy enough without the drugs.

Okay, I'm crazy enough without him. Ben the God was having a hard time getting his poppy seeds to germinate. Uh-huh. So he may be interested in regular heroin. Sure. But there's a lot of different, like, you know, they're like synthetics.

I have no idea. It's like synthetic drugs are out of control. It's a real problem for our country. Yeah, sounds awful. But then the other thing that really confused me about this guy because he posted sometimes in like he didn't seem to be a sophisticated adult yeah however and maybe the scurvy concern is some psychedelic you know related paranoia that's going on maybe

could be yeah he he did post in a year ago posted in r slash what car should i buy uh-huh oh i was there recently which should i choose i'm trying to choose between a 2018 point Porsche GT3 or a 2018 Mercedes AMG GTR, which would you guys choose and why? Mostly road use. Sure. Mostly road use. He's not taking these to the track. I also would consider stolen lime scooter.

Yeah. Even at 2018, I looked it up. I'm like, because I don't know the specific models that good, but I'm like, well, in AMG, that's like the Mercedes like luxury racing cars. This is used a 2018 is an $85,000. Yeah. This Mercedes. So I don't know what's going on with this guy.

But here's, I'm ready to present to you, Jordan. Yeah. A segment called top five posts I found in the, and I couldn't figure out what to do. Because the scurvy one, obviously, no one has ever posted a more baffling and amazing thing than this guy. He seems to sincerely be worried about scurvy. It is like haggis and that it is god tear. Yeah. Is that what he said?

Was God tear, Hagus? There were a lot of comments where he would, like, reply and be like, oh, thanks. I was really worried about that. He also went into the anti-vax, the no unvaccinated subreddit, and said, I am pro-vax. Just curious, why are you anti-vax? That's really funny. And then just helpfully replied to everyone, like, oh, that's, I'm surprised to hear that because of this. Yeah.

I was like, all right, if you got the time. Okay. So this was a post is number five. The like, that type of post is always baffling like, like an R slash Star Wars. It's just like, what does everybody think about the last Jedi? You know, someone just like, you know what this is going to be, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Why are you doing this? Yeah. EWox are the coolest Star Wars character, right? They say? No, no, it's not even that. It's just like, what do you think of EWox? You know, it's just that. Like in a page, it's not even like, hey, I love the EWX.

It's, anyway. This is number four. five. Okay. This is a, this is a, oh, sorry, what are these, the top five, the top five, bend the God, posts, okay. One, two, three, one, three, one three, two, four posts. Uh, number five. Okay. It's from R slash teenagers. Uh, it's a post, it's a reply to a post titled, Help Me Name My Cat, prayer hands. And then there was a series of beautiful, adorable pictures of a sort of, Maybe just pre-adolescent kitty. It's a gray kitty, beautiful gray kitty.

Yeah. Ben the God. Also Reddit, maybe shut down our slash teenagers. Yeah, it seems weird. Maybe, maybe just, I don't, you know. Seems weird. Ben the God, one three, too, four. The teens have a place at the library.

They can go. They can go to a little, a teen scape. I've taken a teen scape, teen corner. You can go. Everything's, everything's Aqua. You can go hang out there. I got that Los Angeles Public Library. email newsletter.

There was a section about teenscape. Yeah, you sent it to me. That was very interesting. God, I blew my fucking mind that the characters from Archie Comics

went to visit Teenscape. Yeah. Pretty cool. Help me name my cat prayer hands. Okay. Ben the God 1324 says

Anger dingus. Anger dingus. All one word. Anger dingus. Great. All right. The next one was from R slash male living

spaces. One of my favorite subreddit. This is subreddit. This is subreddit that is like a mix of guys with like tastefully appointed luxury lofts

with a lot of houseplants and a lot of art of like Jimmy Hendricks or something like things that are sometimes in those cases like just short of distasteful these guys have nice nice places they look good and then sometimes as in this case

It'll just be a gaming chair, three monitors, and a mattress on the floor. Sure. Now, when people do that on R-slash male living spaces, do they know how sad it is and are goofing on themselves? Why do that? Sometimes it's teens. Uh-huh. Like, sometimes somebody will be like, I'm 15 and. This is like my first room.

Right. People will be like, I'm 19 or I'm 21. I just got out of the army. is a broad variety. Sometimes people are like, I really live this way. Roost me. And then sometimes it'll be like somebody,

like a really highly upvoted category post will be, I just got a place I had been homeless for X length of time. And then there's like people that have that live in a bus. There was somebody that lives in a bus today. People really like,

people were really interested in his bus and, you know, how he vents the diesel from the diesel here. Sure, yeah. And that kind of thing. Anyway, this poster, the original poster, it was a picture of a very bare, like, efficiency or studio apartment with just like a gaming chair and two monitors. Right. Just nothing on the walls, nothing, nothing, nothing, anywhere.

And everybody was roasting this person. Sure. Like, get your fucking shit together, bro. You're never going to get any pussy in your life. Yeah, frame a poster. It was like, or other. stuff from other people, if that's what they prefer. Right.

Be presumptuous. There's all kinds of pussy out there. Yeah. It's all kinds of pussy. Okay. Yeah. Ben the God wrote, I'd recommend just a shit ton of posters, movies, TV shows, songs, cars, whatever.

Songs. Your favorite song poster. If you have enough of them, they won't look tacky or out of place, and it can add character. That is really. That's the secret, Jordan. Yeah. Volume. Lots of posters.

Posters. Postures about songs. You got enough song posters. Yes. Okay, that's number four. Number three is from R-slash welding. Okay. Wow. He gets around.

Well, I also know, by the way, he is someone who uses one Reddit account for both his hobbies and his pornographic interests. Okay. I was going to ask about porn. Yeah, I mean like, predators with huge tits. I, I, um, there's like an impulse within the man primarily. I'm speaking broadly, but I'm going to say the man to reply to a pornographic thread on Reddit with thoughts and comments. Yeah. And like I've, I think I've, uh, I think I've mentioned that I subscribe.

to a subreddit called R slash sex over 30. This is the fucking best. These people are so positive. They're helping each other. Is there any things that would see, that would you would call porn on that? This is not porn.

Okay. This is an adult. Sure. And I don't think, I probably have never commented in there just because my username is my name. Sure. You know.

But like, I could see commenting in there, just encouraging somebody to stimulate the prostitution. state? Sure. Yeah. You know, these are things I'm really passionate about.

And I'm not above seeing pornography on Reddit. We've got a lot of that on there. Sure. All kinds of people going wild. You know, I'm not going to go on the fucking worldwide web if I'm looking at pornography on my phone. Sure. You know what?

Fucking nightmare. Yeah. So maybe I've seen pornography on Reddit. But I don't know what lies in the heart of a person who, who uses their regular Reddit account to comment on porn threads. Like somebody will all, at some point when OnlyFans became popular four years ago,

all porn threadets on Reddit became a person who works on OnlyFans asking a question in, like a clickbait question in the title. You know, like if they all came, would you come on the tits of an Asian 42 year old question mark? Shout out to Gone Wild over 30, by the way. Sure, yeah. But like, I don't.

Is it true that no one likes Latina nurses? Yeah, exactly. No, we do. We do. We do. People are right. It's not true. It's not true.

It's not true. It's not true. So, anyway, I know two things. I know I'm a two. It's like the hottest person you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. I know two things about this person other than that they're English and that they're into welding. And they have a lot of free income for cars.

One is they asked a question about what to wear for a wedding and they said that they were too thin for a coat. So they were going to have to wear a waistcoat or a vest, what we would call a vest. Right. Which I don't know what that means, but it's incredible to me to learn. for a coat. Too thin for a coat. Coat would crush me. And I know that he's very interested in pornography related to women who are gaining weight.

Okay. It is like a growth plus. Right. It is like big, beautiful women. Uh-huh. Just like a hefty lady porn. Yeah. And then that plus getting bigger.

Right. Okay. Like, eat on. Queen or something. Yes. Eat the spine, queen. Anyway. Okay, so this is the welding one.

This one's from R slash welding. And there's a picture, there's a picture of like, how would you describe what this thing is? This is from the original post. This is a like terrifying sculpture, like made of found metal, made to kind of look like kind of a robot with lightning coming out of its head. It's a bunch of stuff

welded together and yeah, maybe the goal is a little Star Wars robot or something. I mentioned that thing about commenting on the... Because I only know that

because he commented on so many... Sure. Like having a discourse about... Uh-huh. Yeah, it's like a robot guy. He's got like hands

going like, oh! Yeah. And he's got a head that looks kind of like one of those dinosaurs that's got a sail on his head.

What's that called? Maybe like a... They got him in a Jurassic Park. Hadrosaurus. Yeah, sure. Anyway, the original poster just says, can anyone tell me what the hell I just made? Which, you know, fair enough. I mean, this thing's got 715 upvotes, 417 comments.

People are having a great time with this. Ben the God 1-3-2-4 said, Not sure why, but my immediate thought was, cursed toaster. Not sure why. Not sure why. Not sure why. A little weird like that. I'm kind of random.

A little random. What was the name of the cat that he suggested? Anger-dingis. Anger-dingis. Anger dingus. Five, four, three. Okay. Ready for number two?

Yeah, number two. Number two was from a, the original post was about somebody, uh, I think sneezing and making a mess or something. Okay. Ben the God commented. Relatable.

I once sneezed while already having a nose bleed and had to repaint my wall afterwards. Wow. Yeah. Holy shit, right? Yeah. From my blood. What if that's like in a CSI or law and order?

Mm-hmm. they get to the scene and... Right, they're analyzing the blood spray. Yeah, and it's just somebody who sneezes. I think this is probably just someone who sneezed too hard. Yeah, this person sneezed when they already had a nosebleed. Sure.

And then the rest of the episode is just them having a nice lunch. Yeah. Because they solved the crime. Number one post from... Ben the God, one three, two, four. By the way, do not bother this man. Do not bother this man. Do not bother this man.

This man is just trying to live his life. He's just trying to jack off to a woman who's getting heavier and heavier. It's fine. Sure. He's in England. It's tough over there. It's hard in England. The economy's crashing.

Oh, boy. There's a lot of turfs around. Sure. A lot of trouble. The godtier food is haggis, I guess. Yeah. Which, by the way, does not taste very good. No.

I've eaten it. I'm not saying it's, like, wrong to eat it. Somebody's stuffing toads and holes, apparently? Apparently. There's a toad in a whole W-H-O-L-E, according to Ben the God, 13-2-4. Do you guys know the National Dish of England? Daniel Spear, what's the national dish of England?

It's a real colonial answer. Chicken Tika masala. Oh, yeah, that is the national dish of England. And it's all good. You know, in Ireland, they got in a Chinese restaurant in Ireland, they'll take all the stuff that they fry, like a takeout, like the kind of place that's the Irish equivalent of, you know, glooping some orange chicken and chau on a plate.

Yeah. But I think in Ireland, a lot of those places are associated with or formerly were chip shops. Okay. And so everything is fried. Okay. Everything is deep fried. They just put all the different stuff in a brown paper bag and then put a bunch of curry powder in there and shake it up and give it to you. Okay.

Fucking sounds great. That sounds really good. We'll take one of those. Okay, anyway. It's called like a mixed bag or something. Mix bag. I don't remember what it's called. I don't remember what it's called.

I love a mixed bag. All right. So this is a post from two years ago on R slash funny memes. Okay. And as you can see here, Jordan, the original meme is deleted by the user. Okay. So we don't know. We don't know what the meme was. It was funny or at least, you know, trying to be funny.

I mean, it's got 7,000 comments. Okay. So this was probably a pretty funny meme. This meme was probably Kind of random Was probably pretty funny Yeah The comment from

Ben the God 1 324 I'm such a bad friend Oh no I bet he's a great friend Ben you're a good friend to us Yeah We love you Ben

And to And to women who are increasing Their size everywhere Yeah Eat on Queen And friend on king Sure yes Okay

What was that the thing that we asked you to look up. Can we make an orange soup? Can you make an orange soup? Looks like there's a couple of recipes I found. There's carrot, orange, and ginger soup. That sounds all right. Does that, do you, but do you make an orange stock to make that?

Juice of half an orange, it says. Four carrots peeled and sliced. Six orange segments, just the fruits, not the membranes. You're not soaking the peels, though. No, but I do, when it was just the juice, I was going to say this is not what we're talking about. But I do, if you are going to put segments in, that kind of counts. And I mean, shout out to Blue Gene Chef. Do you like that Blue, this recipe blog, Blue Gene Chef, has like the clean modernist all lowercase logo of like a website you go to buy dick pills directly, but legally?

Yeah. If the chefs in Blue Jeans, they're not. They're the opposite of pretentious. This is a cool, approachable chef. Also found a Scandinavian recipe, pumpkin and orange soup. Okay. And this is on a website called Yuzu. That's a citrus in and of itself. Sure.

Is this all citrus recipes? I didn't get that deep into it. First of all, I'm glad you were taking the time to watch those levels. This one is a pumpkin and orange soup and you dip bad brown Scandinavian crackers. into it according to this. I kind of like the look of that cracker. I've never had a Scandinavian cracker, but I'd like to dunk that into something. I don't think I like those crackers.

They're too... Nordic. Nordic. They taste... Fishing. They taste like suffering. Okay. Seasonal suffering.

Right. This was the most orange involved, carrot orange and ginger soup. Okay. No origin on this one, but the recipe person does tell everyone that everything is kosher on their website. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Jamie Geller. So we think this could be an Ashkenazi carrot orange and ginger soup. Potentially. I didn't want to

assume. Right. Fascinating. Is this one involved soaking any oranges in water? No. Juice of half an orange. Yeah. Juicing the orange doesn't count. Find out what happens. You did great, Daniel. Thank you. Daniel, I'm not so sure.

You did the assignment. How about this? We, something exciting. because the guest canceled. Yeah. We're doubling down on the calls. Yeah, we got double calls. You want to take a little break and then shove the listeners' faces and ears full of delicious calls? You put lemon slices into liquor to make limoncello.

Right. Right? You do. That's what Danny DeVito would do. This is what Danny DeVito does personally for his limoncello that might not be around anymore. Yeah, I don't think it exists anymore. That's a bummer. It was a fine limoncello.

Yeah. There's a taste of life from this famous fellow. From that famous fellow. Okay. The theme song told us. Let's take a break before I start singing that Danny DeVito Limoncello song. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I am Jesse Thorne America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Thank you to the members of Maximum Fun. We got some cool member news coming up at the end of the show. Stay tuned. Stick around. Fun stuff coming up. If you're a member, if you're not yet a member,

circle April 20th on your calendar because that's when the Max Fun Drive starts. Jordan, this is the official week, I think, of actually using in our day-to-day casual live sponsors of Jordan Jesse Go. I found a doctor on Zock-Doc-Doc the other day. Yes. Jordan, you used this week's sponsor? Oh yeah, car gurus. Jesse, loyal listeners know this. I am car shopping. It's been really hard and frustrating. going to a car dealership and asking to see the cars is a bad way to do it. Yep, because they'll be weird about it. They'll be weird!

One time I went to the car dealership, I asked to drive one of the cars. They told me no. Sure. I'm surprised how often I've gotten shut down. Like, I want to see the car. Anyway, it's exhausting. Do you want to sell me that? I'm a local businessman.

I was having such a hard time shopping for cars. I'm like, wait, what's that ad we've been reading on the show? show car gurus, I downloaded the app. It is so fun and easy to use. No BS here. I'm not BSing. You're not an artist. I've been using car gurus. Here's what you do. You type in the car that you want. Yeah. You can put the specifications. You want a hybrid. You want a gas power. You want an electric. You want a new. You want to use. What color do you want? And then they show you, get this. Okay. Cars that exist.

Yes. The cars they show you exist at a dealership at a certain distance you put in the distance. And then you can contact the dealer through the app. It's so easy. It's really fun. You can comparison shop. It'll give you a little dingling when it's a good deal. That's really helpful.

No wonder. Car Gurus is the number one rated car shopping app in Canada on the Apple app and Google Play Store. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Does it only work for Lamborghinis or does it also work for car brands that our listeners might be looking for? I don't know. That's what I'm shopping for so I can say it works great for Lambos. You're going to get a little kuntosh.

Is that correct? I don't know. I'm pricing the kuntosh. We'll see. But yeah, I think no matter what kind of car you're looking for, car gurus is a really fun way to shop. Again, I was very frustrated with this, and Cargooros is making it so much more fun and easy. Buy your next car gurus at Cargooros.ca. Go to Cargooros.ca and make sure your big deal is the best deal.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. Danny DeVito's Lemon Chello. Remember when we talked about that on the show? And then a listener wrote in and said, my dad wrote that song. I don't remember that. Yeah.

Sounds amazing. It was fucking incredible. He's like, my dad wrote it and sang it. He was really proud of it. Oh, my gosh. It's probably a huge moment for us. When I learned to play the ukulele, learning to play relative, of course, I thought, wouldn't it be fun? It's sort of like how when Tenacious D was new and they didn't have enough new song of their own songs, they would sing like the lyrics of the theme to Star Trek.

Yeah. Because of Star Trek theme music has lyrics for music publishing reasons. Yeah. I was like, well, if I'm going to like do some shit on a fucking Judge John Hodgman show or whatever or maybe even on George. and Jesse Go Show, I should learn to play the Danny DeVito's Limoncello song on the ukulele. That can be like my ace in the hole. Sure. Anytime things are going bad, I'll be like, well, great, I'm going to bring out my ukulele and sing the theme from people who are going to love this.

This is a great song. I'm going to have a spirited rendition. Right. So I posted on social media, hey, can anyone who's good at the ukulele tell me what chords are in this Danny DeVito's Limoncello song? somebody whose name was I don't want to say Dr. Yucke-A-Layli. Okay.

You know, I mean, somebody who was a real... Sir Yook! Yuc-hunt. That's what the guy was called. You-Cunt. He not only gave me the cords. I mean, he did like, like it looks like... Sounds like a real see-you-next-Yook's day.

Thank you. He put it, uh, see-Uk next Tuesday? Yeah. Oh, well, but that's sort of the same as the... Yeah, okay. They're both great. Yeah. Both are good.

humor. It looks like I bought it from the music store. I have it on my computer. Do you have any fucking idea how many fucking chords are in the Danny? Is it a complex song? It is so, and all the chords are like weird jazz chords. It's like, it turns out that the most complicated songs in the world are Stevie Wonder songs and Danny DeVito's Limoncello. Where you think it's just going to be CDF CDF or something. And then it turns out to be fucking, I'm never going to learn how to play these chords. Never in a million years. I'm too bad at music. Anyway, when something momentous happens to you, give us a call, 206-984-4-4-1 for our segment momentous occasions. Did we find out, by the way, Daniel, whether Danny DeVito's Limoncello is still available in stores?

It was discontinued in 2018. It says here. Going blind. But it It did use real lemons from Italy. Okay. He went hard for it. Do you think we could, and this is, we'll come back to you for this. Can we score a case on eBay? Is this a thing where it's like ecto cooler or something where we could? They're selling bottles.

I can find people selling the bottles, but no actual, like. What's a bottle going for on the resale market? Like $30. Okay. Not out of the realm of possibility. Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to spend that kind of money.

Well, it was discontinued, so I wonder if it was for health reasons. Maybe. I mean, Danny DeVio seems like he's in fine health. He does seem like he's in fine health. He's got a nice glow about him. He does. He doesn't ever seem drunk in public appearances. Anyway.

Yeah. All right. I have a voicemail for y'all. Yes, thank you. But specifically, I was told by Jordan that it is a Nirmal update. A NERAL update. A NERAL update. So we were, what were we wondering about NERML?

I don't know. This is NERML from Garfield. Yes, I do remember we were. talking about Nirmal. And someone told us a surprising thing about Nirmal. Did you see Heathcliff today? I didn't see Heathcliff today. Today on Heathcliff, Heathcliff is in the foreground.

And there's a guy in the background. And the guy in the background has a fishbowl with a fish in it on his head. And he's saying, bro. Yeah. And in the foreground, Heathcliff has a fishbowl with a fish in it on his head. and he's saying Probably also bro Yeah

Nice, I love it Another classic Heathcliff The caption is an observer Uh huh You know the observer has his mouth open Yeah But no word bubble You want to guess what he's saying

Boy It looks like it's a My trickney's acting up So it's gonna rain ham It's something totally unrelated No I say bro Bro They're all saying bro

One guy doesn't have it on his, so Heathcliff has the fish on his head. So you would, one guy has a fish on his head. The other guy doesn't have a fish on his head. He's also saying bro. All three of them are saying bro. So bro is something you say when you have a fish on your head.

But I think the joke is that obviously, if you have a fish on your head, you're going to say bro. But it's ironically, it's the last thing you'd expect that that's what you would say about someone that's got a fish on their head. In a fishbow.

A classic fishbow is so funny. Okay. Normal update. Normal update. Here we go. Hey, Jordan Jesse Go. This is Rick from Roanoke. I've been in the Abu Dhabi airport for a couple hours and no sign of normal yet.

I'll keep you updated. Yeah, I mean, normal's going to be at the post office. Yeah, right. He's getting mail to Abu Dhabi. Yeah. Also comes with proof. We do have a nice... Oh, wow.

Okay, so whoever called in sent in this photo, proving they were indeed at the Abu Dhabi duty-free shop. I would imagine it's pretty affordable to fly to Abu Dhabi in 2026. I think so? What do you think? I don't know. I mean, I think that there's obviously there's war in the region right now that might complicate things.

Right. But I bet you can fly to Abu Dhabi for under $1,000. Okay. Daniel, you got to get to pricing some of this stuff. Where is you, what do you think? I'm just talking, I'm talking basic economy here. Under $1,000. I think it's, I think the cheapest you can go is,

$1,500. Okay. I got $9.50. Okay. We'll see. What about Timbuktu? What do you think it costs to get to Timbuktu? So there's going to be three categories here.

I'm going to stop through Kalamazoo. I'm going to have to have a layover. We're looking for three prices, okay? Number one is Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi. Number two, Timbuktu. Number three, Albuquerque. You're right.

Places Bugs Bunny made a wrong turn. Okay. So Abu Dhabi, I'm going to say $1,500 minimum. One way? This is round trip. Round trip. Round trip. I'm going to say Timbuk 2 is $2,500.

Yeah. And Albuquerquee, uh, I bet it's, they have an airport, you might have to rent a car. They got an airport. They got an airport in Albuquerque.

They got a hot air balloon festival. Okay. Where do you think they're launching those hot air balloons from? It's a great. A field? Almost certainly, yes. It's a great point. Yeah.

Probably not an airport. That sounds very dangerous. And many would be killed. That's for the airplanes. And I'm going to say Albuquerque, $600. 600 bucks. Okay. Albuquerque, round trip, I'm going to say, from Los Angeles, $400.

Okay. Timbuck 2, I'm going to say $1,800. Okay. Mm. Yeah, I'm going to say $1,800. $1,400. 22. I'm going to say $2,200. $2,200. Let's take the next call, Daniel, and we'll circle back.

All those flights for us. Leaving in like a month or something. In the month? Okay. So I have to change all the dates I just put in. Okay. Not tonight. We're going tonight, boys. You can put flexible, we can put our dates are flexible on Google flights. Oh my gosh. Okay. On Google flights, you can put flexible dates. Yeah, no, it's fine. You can't use Hipmunk because they closed up hipmunk. I was on Expedia.

You're on Expedia? That's good. Is that count? Yeah, let's play the next call, and then we'll talk about some flight prices. Who needs a guest? Who needs a guest? It's a good show. It's a good show.

Who do you think canceled? Yeah. Hello, Jordan. Hello, Jesse. And I'm going to guest Joel Osteen. This is Steph from Fort Worth, Texas, calling for your segment, favorite books of the Bible. Mine is Jeremiah, especially chapter 4 verse 19, which says, My bowels, my bowels, I am pained at my very heart.

My heart maketh a noise in me. I cannot hold my peace because thou hast heard. O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. Destruction upon destruction is cried, for the whole land is spoiled. Suddenly are my tent spoiled and my curtains in a moment. I'm 97% sure that is about massive diarrhea. Okay, love you.

Bye. Explosive diarrhea. That's an explosive diarrhea verse. Gotta be, right? And they say Song of Solomon's the horny book of the Bible. Tell me about them squirts. Eat on. Yes.

So they're hearing the Battle of Jericho horns? I think so. Boy. I have not retained a lot of Bible stuff. I'll be honest with you. Man, we got to get celebrity pastor Rick Warren. We have to. We definitely would like that guy and get along well with him.

Sure. He would like us. Exactly. It would be an easy chemistry on the show. All right. Well, keep calling in your favorite Bible verses. Yeah, let us know. We'd love to learn more about the Bible.

And read them in a quiet, haunting voice like that caller did. Yeah, like a little bit like you're in Rick Warren's basement and he won't let you out. Sure. Yeah. And he says you're making. too much noise down there. Okay. Pricing. Are you ready, Daniel?

I'm not ready. Okay, don't worry about it. Let's take another call. We'll come back to the pricing. Okay, got it. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and a guest. I'm calling in with a momentous occasion. Oh, my name's Ryan from Pennsylvania. So my son,

10-year-old son, got a new car racing game for the PS5, and he was showing it to me, and I was setting up my account, and the character creation setup, you can enter your own custom license plate. So I, of course, went with full Chort and then had to explain that to him. And then as soon as I finished explaining it, he said, oh, I should have done Bort on mine. And I was very proud.

Anyway, love you guys. Bye. I'm really glad. My son's name is also Bort. Yes. The best license plate joke of all time has to be. My son's name is also Bort. My son is also named for it?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. There it is. Thank you. I feel like you were humoring me because I said it wrong. You didn't want to make me look bad. Yeah, that's, I know. And you did look bad, Jesse.

I'm going to, people are laughing at you for slightly getting that Simpson's quote wrong. I mean, can you imagine anything that would upset our audience more than getting that Simpsons quote slightly wrong? I'm always heartened to hear, you know, like parents our age talking about, you know, watching the Simpsons with their kids. It's always really cute and fun, I guess, you know, that those great Simpsons seasons really endure. Yep. You did that with your kids. You watched a bunch of Simpsons? Oh, yeah, that's great.

And you know what? Now you can watch Bob's Burgers with your kids, too. Yeah. I mean, is it as funny as the Simpsons? Nothing is as funny as those, like, the best episodes of The Simpsons, those, you know, seven years or whatever it is, nothing is better than that in the history of American entertainment. Sure. But you know what's great?

Bob's Burgers. Watch that with your kids. And what's great about Bob's Burgers? is they're in season 75 of that. And that's still really good. Yeah. It's really impressive how they've maintained the high quality of Bob's Burgers has not collapsed.

Anyway, yeah, those are nice things to do with your children. That sounds good. Yeah, Frankie's into the Simpsons right now. Oh, nice. Okay. That's great. Do they kind of like rotate in and out of the Simpsons? Yeah, but it's also like, it's always there for you.

I would say the main problem for me is that like all the good episodes. of The Simpsons I've seen probably three or four times. Sure. And I know that they are like your ultimate comfort watch. The experience of watching them has at this point been diminished for me. So I'm not a big comfort watcher in general. Like if I'm going to watch something a second time I want there to have been 15 years since the last time I watched it, which is working great with me right now for Larry Sanders.

But yeah, I mean, even why the sixth time. I'm watching Mr. Plow. I'm not going to be mad that I watch Mr. Plow. I'm happy I watch Mr. Plow. You've had some flights coming in. Oh, coming in for a landing. On our monitor. We have a monitor.

You turn your tray tables to the upright position. We have a monitor in the studio now. The reason we have this monitor in the studio is because we heard that all of the most popular podcasts are hosted by two dumb fucks who tell their producer to put on the monitor the research they should have done ahead of time. Oh, cool. Jamie, can you pull that up for me? Okay.

So first of all, what are we looking at first? Abu Dhabi. There's Abu Dhabi. I said you could probably get there for under $1,000. Jordan said $1,500. What was the answer, Daniel? Prices right rules, Jesse wins with 1371 of their lowest price. Hold on.

The thing where people say prices right rules, they just say that to be cute. That's not the best way to do it. It's a bad way to do it. I'm sorry. I'm not that I don't want to win. I just think people default to that because it's fun to say prices right rules. It sounds like you want to win. I think Jesse did actually win them.

Price is right is also a bad game. Like it's a fun thing to watch. You know, they've got a lot of parts of it really down in terms of tone. Drew Carey does a great job, et cetera, et cetera. But like, you got hunks and babes now. Just guessing the price of something, it's not a great game. It looks like, okay, so it looks like the median price. And so I went for a week, a trip, a round trip, and this is in June 22nd.

So median price, let's say, is probably somewhere between 1371 and 1540, let's say. So I think you're closer, Jordan. I think I may have gotten that closer. I win. Next one. And it was good that I complained about that price is right now. Because it made me win, me, Jordan. Number two is going to be.

Timbuktu. What did we say? What do we say? I think I said 2,500. And I think I went above. No, did I say 1900? I think you said a lower number than that's 2,500. I think you said 1900.

1900. Let's say I said 1900. We're looking at under 1,000. $818 can get you to Timbuktu? Buy him. Geez, look at that. Why are we going to Timbuktu to do Jordan Jesse? Do we have fans in Timbuktu?

Let us know. If you're in Timbuktu, you're willing to put us up. We'll come to Timbuktu and do your show. Yeah, geez. We'll do a show for you and your friends. like we were doing house concerts, like we were folk singers. Sure.

It goes up from there, but yeah. Right. But no, it's like, I mean, that's, what times that leave? It's 625. A little early. Midnight for the police. And then we got Albuquerque.

Albuquerque. Now what do we say for Albuquerque? I said 600 bucks for Albuquerque. Okay. And I believe I went lower than 600 bucks. I think I said 400 or 450 or something like that. All right. We're looking at about 300-shunds.

Oh, okay. Yeah, because you can fly southwest. See, you can fly nonstop on Southwest. Jeez Louise. If you can fly nonstop on Southwest, you're going to get an affordable flight. Well, the Jordan Jesse Go Tour has two stops now. Albuquerque and Tim Buck 2. Wow, American also fly.

How many airlines fly direct? The Budge Bunny Wrong Turn Tour. How many airlines fly direct to Albuquerque? Quite a few, it looks like. Delta's got a nonstop? This is three months in advance, yeah. Holy shit. I got to go for this air balloon festival.

More airlines fly direct to fucking Albuquerque than fly Burbank to San Francisco. Yeah, no kidding. I don't know. Maybe any pilots out there, know if it's a hub or a sub hub or a sub hub or something? Maybe it's a hub. It could be a sub. It could be a sub. I'd like to get a sub at that hub.

I'm starving. Maybe we've got something with some chilies. Who needs a guest? Do we have one more call in there? One more call. Will it be as thrilling as pricing flights? I don't know. It's at the bottom of this barrel here.

Hold on. I have to grab it. It's really scraped. Really scrape the bottom. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to go ahead and say, Lisa Gilroy. I'm calling for your long-established segment,

things cats eat while people are in mourning. I'm currently in Maui for my grandfather, who's unfortunately unwell. And we were just watching the Buddhist March for Peace ceremony in D.C. And during that rousing prayer, you know, I was really kind of going through some emotions. And my grandparents' cat, Shadow, or Puchkala, came in with a gecko, brought him in. And just as, you know, the monk was telling us to let us be free from sea, suffering. Let us not hold on to resentment. She munched that gecko. She munched it, chewed it, swallowed it, separated the tail. The tail was wriggling on the floor. Suck that thing up like a noodle. All right. Love the show, guys. Take care.

Wow. We love your show, too. We love your show, too. This is, I think, a reflection of the value of multiculturalism. Yes. Mm-hmm. The melting pots, USA. You know, you go to an incredible multicultural place like Maui, where you have people from all over the Pacific. Yes. You have people from the mainland United States.

You have, of course, native Hawaiians. Maybe people from all around the world go to visit Maui. You have this old grandfather. May he recover or have a peaceful transition. Yes. You have some Buddhists doing a rousing prayer, which, by the way, as soon as he said it was a rousing prayer, I imagined like, and the pieces! You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

I was still like a real bully pulpit situation. I definitely imagined a Baptist of some kind. Oh, they'll rouse you. Baptist will rouse you. And then you got this cat full on consuming a lizard. Right. If your cats ever In the time, you've only had one cat

The whole time I've known you Yeah We had a childhood cat as well Okay Talking about Lucky Did Lucky or Bug ever eat An animal in front of you? A bug killed a lizard once

And she did not eat it But she killed it And thought it was cool So that's what I picture Yeah I picture people's cats Because you hear about them Catching something

And then bringing it Yeah And our So our childhood cat Lucky, named after Alf's cat, or the cat from the Alf family that Alf was always trying to eat. And then you named her that because you were always trying to eat him. Because I don't always try. I want to eat that cat. It's delicious. But yes, she was... It's so funny that Alf likes to eat cat. It's great. It's so funny. So Lucky was an outdoor cat,

so she would occasionally bring the like dead bird or something to the doorstep. Yeah. But yeah, Bug has only had one confirmed kill as far as I know, and it's that one lizard. But she didn't eat it. She did not eat it. No. Sounds like this cat ate it all up. Are other people's cats eating animals in front of them? I don't know. Like glug, glug down the hatch? I think, I mean, I think a, you know, domestic cat is probably full and hunting for, you know, sport and to give you something.

So I don't think they would eat the thing, but I don't know. John Hodgman at his house had his daughter's cat who's visiting. I love it when a cat comes to visit. And it's a Maine Coon cat. Maine Coon. Have you ever met one of these Maine Coon? They're real big, right? Big and fluffy.

Fucking incredible. Oh, yeah. This is one of the coolest animals I've ever seen in my life. Fucking Maine Coon cat. Anyway, that thing could eat like an entire Dagwood sandwich. Sure. Down the hatch. Glug, glug.

Scooby-Doo, look out. Yeah. Because this cat could probably... Could eat you. Could eat you. Could eat you. What do you think is the animal most likely? Speaking of how good.

this show is. Yeah. What do you think is the animal most likely to kill and eat Scooby-Doo? Boy, I think it'd be pretty easy to kill and eat Scooby-Doo. So cowardly. But he would run away so fast. Or he'd jump, I guess he would jump into Shaggy's arms. Right. I think you could, like, lure him with food. Okay. I think he just has such incompetent criminals. But what animal do you think? Oh, would be most likely to kill and eat Scooby-Doo? Yeah. Oh, well, I can't figure this out now. Daniel Spear is putting YouTube videos of Maine Coons on the screen.

Look at this great Coon! Yeah. Oh, these Main Cooners are tremendous. Main Coon, you have to say the whole thing, Jesse. Thank you. You have to say the whole thing. The longest domestic cat ever recorded. Thank you, AI, voiceover.

It's bigger. Wait, that's a bed. It's bigger than a bed. Fascinating. What's the animal most likely to kill any... Because I got one in my head. Mine, I think, is the majestic bald eagle. Swoop down, grab him, take him back to the nest, disembowl him, feed him to the chicks.

Do I don't know, my name? What's yours? Yetty. Yetty. Yeah, or abominable snowman. Because I think with the Yeti, Scooby-Doo probably at this point assumes it's, you know, a industrialist in a mask. And then get too close. Yetty chomped you.

Yeah. I mean, I just think, yet he's big. He's very big. He's hungry. That's why he's down in the foothills. Right. Rather than up in the peace. Down at the abandoned carnival, yes.

You know, they don't want to eat you. No. It's just if you threaten they're young or they're really hungry, they don't have access to food. Right. Like if there's been a blight. Right. Oh, like a potato famine. Sure.

They eat mostly potatoes. But they have to come because of global warming. They have to come down from the potato. potato hills and eat mystery-solving dogs. Tourists are always feeding them so they get the idea that they can come down to town. Just don't feed the yet people. Do not feed the Yeti. Don't take them home and flush them down the toilet when they get too big.

No. These are just, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to be up on my high horse. It's supposed to be a comedy show. If they let themselves into your house, it's okay to give them a swirling. Sure, yes, because they're such nerds. You don't flush them. Lock them in there a lot. Right.

Right. And close it up. Take their lunch money. Send them on their way. 206. The nerds of the cryptids. 206. 906.

984. For fun, give us a call with your momentous occasions. JJ, go at maximum fund.org. Send us a voice memo with segments for the program. Uh, give us a call with your, uh, give us a call with your favorite Bible verses. Yes. That means you, Joel Osteen. We're looking at you.

Dean. Creflo Dollar, are you listening? Reverend Creflo? Now, Jordan, producer Jordan, J.K. Yeah. Is the one that screens the call. So I don't know if we've gotten any, and she's saving them, or if we,

you know, we just haven't gotten a good one yet, but we have not heard any calls from spouses who don't like the show. Yeah, that's a good point. And I just want to put it out there again. And our partners. Sure. Oh, yeah.

It doesn't have to be. You don't have to be legally married to this person. No, we know, we don't. that you have all kinds of romantic relationships and entanglements. You know what? If you're having a dangerous liaison. Right. Yes. Have Jeremy Irons or whatever. Yes. If you're, if you're, a rich man paying a poor man, a million dollars to sleep with his wife. Get Robert Redford to give us a call. Get a call. Yeah, but we'd love to call from Bobby Reds. Sure. But yeah, no, we are opening up the phone lines to partners and spouses who don't like the show and would like to

hear why they don't like it. Speaking of Robert Redford, if your spouse is on a boat that's sinking in the middle of the ocean, and then he has to get into a life raft. Sure. And he's trying to get the attention of big ships. They're not paying attention to him. If you cohabitate with the Sundance Kid. Yeah.

That's great one. Let us know. 206.9-84-Fun. Let's hear from those partners. We need notes, I think. We need notes. My daughter, the thing that is giving my daughter grace, my oldest child, the most joy in her life right now. She's really into Siskel and Iber.

Oh, like re-watching old Siskel and Iber. I've talked to many people who do that. I loved Siskel and Ebert, you know, in the heyday. It was always such a fun thing to, like, catch on. But yeah, watching old ones. I love hearing about people who do it. I cannot bring myself to do it. You used to watch it, my friend.

Pete Fields from Slow Motion Cowboys House. with his dad. His dad called it gurus. Guaroos. Gueroos. Guys want to watch gurus? They were great, though. Yeah, Mark, we'll watch it.

Anyway, it turns out if you re-watch it, they really do seem to dislike each other. Yeah. They really seem to have serious static between them. I just watched the old clips of David Letterman. No, that's fun, too. Just watch old clips of David Letterman. I mean, I know you got a lot of family feuds to watch.

A lot of family feuds. You know, Letterman throws stuff off stuff. Yeah. You know. But anyway, the thing that makes my daughter really happy is there's just this clip of Siskel and Ebert. And they agree with each other. They're shocked that they agree with each other completely. And it makes them so happy.

And you can see in the clip that they really love each other. And the thing that precipitates it is, they both hate Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Oh, wow. Which is like, what? Universally agreed upon great movie. Yeah. That's really funny. Yeah.

Anyway, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Max Fun Meetup Day is on Thursday, April 23rd. Max Funsters from all over are getting together to hang out and celebrate their favorite podcasts. Want to go and meet some friends who like similar stuff and care about the same things as you? Head to Maximum Fun.org.org slash meetup to see where and when your local meetup is. Don't see one nearby? Host your own and make some new pals. All you need to do is pick a place that could hold a small group,

a bar, cafe, park, library, wherever. Then fill out the form at maximum fun.org slash meetup. We'll add you to the page and help get the word out. So go to maximum fun.org slash meetup and maybe we'll see you on April 23rd. Hello, this is Alden Ford. And Mujanzo Fagari. Two of the creators of Mission to Zix,

your favorite improvised obsessively sound design sci-fi sitcom here on the Max Fun Network. And the news is, we're back. With an all-new miniseries set in the Zix universe, the Young Old DIRF Chronicles. Well, DIRF, find his own killer before it's too late. To find out how that question could possibly make sense, well, you just have to tune in. And as always, it's ambitious and labor-intensive to, frankly, absurd degree. Indeed.

So if you are looking for a little break from your own galaxy, we would love for you to check it out. That's the Young Old Durf Chronicles. Search Mission to Zix, Z-Y-X-X, and your podcast app. on maximum fun.org. Keep it fresh. La, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweet. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Well, we've had a lot of fun. We have. And, you know, it's like, sometimes it's actually a blessing

that Clarence Thomas's RV breaks down. Yeah. We were looking forward to hearing about, you know, The founder's intent. The founders intent, all his new hobbies, and his show coming up at Larko.

Yeah, he's got a cool. It's sort of, it's not just comedy. Yeah. There's other elements to it, too. Amy Mann is going to be there. Oh, I don't think we were supposed to say that. John Bryan. But I think that was supposed to be a drop in.

Were we allowed to say John Bryan is going to be there? John Bryan is going to be there. And Paul Luf Tompkins is hosting. It's going to be a fun night. He's going to sing Danny Boy. Beautiful. And a duet with a triet with a triet. with Clarence Thomas and Ginny Thomas.

What a show. Yeah. Anyway, Clarence couldn't make it, but please, you know, check him out at Largo and they're taking it to the Bell House later. So that'll be fun. Did you know that Clarence Thomas's old college friends with Judd Apatow? That's how we ended up at doing stuff at Largo. Oh, wow.

Okay. Cool. Yeah. That's great. It's really fun. Fun bit of lore for one of our great Supreme Court justices. Anyway, my point is that we've done a great job hosting this show. It's a really good show.

Who needs a guest? Daniel Spear did a great job on the boards. Oh, yeah. Thank you. And pricing everything for us. And pricing everything for it. And you know what? Give us a call.

If you want to know what it costs to fly to us somewhere. Yeah. Let us know. So it's not urgent that you book the flight. If you don't need to book it, like, right away, call us. We'll price it for it. We'll guess what the price might be. You got to be flying from Los Angeles.

Yeah. Because I don't think we want to. I mean, you can fly from where you can fly to, we're going to, we're going to give you the price from Los Angeles to wherever. But you can then fly to Los Angeles. I mean, it's a hub. Yeah, it's a hub. This thing's a hub. Yeah, it's a hub. In some places, they call it a hoagie. Right. Some places it's called a hub. Some places it's called a hoagy. And who needs a guest?

Yeah. Finally, who need, who do you think canceled? Yeah. Anyway, what a time we've had. Daniel Spear, anything to plug? You got to show at Largo coming up? Oh, we've got lyric hyperion for bullseye a little open mic situation i don't know if i'm supposed to say are we not supposed to say that i think that's happening before okay isn't that happening time travel it's it's the day it just happened it just happened okay well yesterday i did a i did a bullsai i did a bullsay interview with guy brand i met an open mic okay the lyric hyperion it went so well something we promised to do for them for the max fund drive last year i'm also going to go to some sort of crazy event this coming weekend to do a field piece for Jordan Jesse Go, for Bullseye.

Okay, check it out. Like I was some kind of young Jordan Morris. Do you know what the event is? There's a voting and the Lego convention is way behind. Oh, no. So it is sort of neck and neck between the Renaissance Fair and the paper goods and stationary convention. Wow.

What do I vote for? I know. It's really tough. So you're going to make that call and then you're going to go to one of these things this weekend. Yeah, and then interview people. Gosh, I kind of, I kind of wanted to be the paper goods.

So we tried to go, we tried to make it, people are voting for this. So we'll find out. And if you're a member, you'll get to hear it. But we tried to go to the 7-Eleven franchisees convention, which I thought was going to be, I was like, this fucking great.

This is a great idea, Kevin Ferguson. I said to Kevin Ferguson. And Kevin called, and they said, said, we'd love to help you, but they've all signed NDAs. Oh. So, I mean, it's from fucking shit. If any investigative reporters are out there.

Trying to find out what the new slurpy flavors are going to be for 2027. Talk about secret sex parties. What the fuck do you think's going on at the 7-1? Everybody signed an NDA? Showing slim jims up each other's asses? Absolutely. Okay, anyway. It's got to be wild.

And, you know, speaking of, we could, we could, you go ahead and plug some of our bonus content here. I think that'd be fun. Yeah, we all got school stuff coming up for the MacSundrive and for next year. Let's reveal this. Okay. This month's bonus episode for podcast, movie, movie podcast, and so much to talk about shows, we reviewed the surprisingly delightful bodkin, a murder mystery show starring Will Forte,

about a true crime podcaster who, get this, Jesse, becomes a part of the story. This isn't. What are you talking about? He's just a storyteller. So he starts out reporting on the story and then becomes part of the story. This guy becomes part. He gets wrapped up in the tale. I know, Jesse, it's so crazy.

It's like they've only done it for 10 or 12 other shows. Can I say, it's so crazy? Yeah. It just might work. It just might work. No, surprisingly, charming. Yeah, a pretty pleasant show. We watched it.

If you're one of the people out there who's like, I can't listen to Jordan and Jesse suffer anymore. Good news. We watched this show and it was pretty good. And we liked it. But if you are one of those nasty, I want to hear them hurt people. Well, good news. Okay, it's going to be kind of an endurance challenge.

We watched all of the episodes of Alex Inc. That we were required to watch after the Pledge Drive. That we had contractually, we used our blood to sign a contract with Satan. Where we would watch five episodes of Alex Inc. There are 10 episodes total. If we were to be allowed to be paid to do this awful program, the devil said we must watch five episodes. episodes of Alexing. A really bad sitcom starting Zach Brath about a podcast. But there's a total of what?

I think there's 10. So I think the plan is for the Max Fun Drive. We're going to release a mega-sized bonus episode where we review the remaining five episodes of Alex Inc., which we will have to watch. Oh, boy. Yeah. So maximum fun. It's not a good show. It's a very bad show. Worse than we thought. Yeah. It's not getting better like we hope. It's fair to say that it's worse than we thought. We thought it would start shaky and then get pretty good because of the general competency of everyone involved, but that's not the case. It's a highly professionally produced show. Sure.

Created to be a relatively pre-st for network television sitcom probably on the prestige end. Absolutely. It's not like this is, it's not like this is that Tim Allen show that's called like Black People Are Too Powerful Now or whatever. I think that is the title. Starting to delightful Cat Dennings. Yeah. So yeah, it's a, so we're,

for you. So we have something for everybody for people who like, oh, I just want to hear them talk about a show they really liked. We got that episode for you. But if you're like, I want to see these nasty stock snobs suffer, we got a big old bonus episode coming for you. So go to maximum fund.org slash join. That's how you hear it. Can I say right around the corner on our social media? We're planning for our new series. Yes. For 2026 and beyond. We have some great ideas. So make sure that you're following us on Blue Sky, following us on Instagram, because we're going to be putting it up to a vote. Yes. What we're doing. We're not prepared to announce it the options right now. We're going to have options for you. So we want this to be, we have the bonus shows to be something

you want. Yeah. So we're going to give you, we're going to give you some dozies and you're going to vote for them and you're going to have a fun time listening. Yeah. And you can't just vote for whatever you want us to do. Right. You're going to get three choices. You get three. Yeah, you can't just say like... Dump them out. Sure. Suck dick on Mike.

We're not going to do it. We're not going to do it. We're not going to do it. That's for us and our wives back home. We'll suck their dicks. You know what? Fuck it. We'll suck dick on Mike.

Yeah, sure. I don't know. Make that one of the options. We're not so great, you know? Yeah, sure. We're not so precious. Yeah. We're not so heterosexual that we can't.

We're open-minded guys. Choice A, suck dick on Mike. B, rewatch Northern Exposure. Yeah, I just watch. Recap Northern Exposure. These are all bonus things you can vote for. Yeah. Probably the stakes are pretty low on Northern Exposure.

Maybe some episodes are slower than you'd expect. It'll be fun to dive back in with the crazy crew from up north. You're not going to believe what just happened in Sicily, Alaska, Jordan. Oh, I bet I would believe it. The Yeti just killed Scooby-Doo. in front of Fleischman? Fleishman.

Fleishman. And my childhood favorite baseball player Mark Grace's wife. Well, who needs a who needs a guest? Or a show. Or a show? We shan't have one for long.

Not at this rate. Nope. Jordan Cowling, the producer of the program, Daniel Speer on the boards this week. Thank you, Daniel. You can join us on social media where we will be selecting our next special series.

We got some good ideas. The ideas are good. We got three real good ideas. Um, dingers. Three ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dongis. Um, me dingings.

Uh, follow us on social media. That's on Instagram, Jordan Jesse Go pod. That's Jordan Jesse Go on Blue Sky. Facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse Go. Mm-hmm. Um, we're talking about probably some other fucking apps, too. I don't know. Who knows?

We're not really on X anymore. Not on X. I mean. The everything app. It's not the everything app. Because we're not on it. So that's another thing you can sue Elon Musk for. Yeah, it's the Everything Good app.

Yeah, well, everything good, yes. Yeah. Okay, our theme music, love you by the free design, courtesy of the free design, and light in the attic records are thanks to them, and we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum Fun.

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