Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Nepo Burger, with Josh Gondelman

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

On this week’s episode, we welcome back comedian, Josh Gondelman, to chat about his new special (Positive Reinforcement), gundam dogs, news from t-shirts, the Stankus Test, and so much more!Go see Josh in New Orleans (10/24-10/25) and Minneapolis (11/23) and then going on Aimee Mann and Ted Leo's Christmas Show tour the from Thanksgiving weekend through mid-December!Subscribe to Josh’s newsletter That's Marvelous.Photo of Josh by Sam Brooks.Jordan and company are going to be at L.A. Comic Con this year, September 26th - 28th at table JO7September 26th - Jordan and Jesse!September 27th - Jordan and Eliza!September 28th - Jordan and Rob!Pre-order Jordan’s new Predator comic!Pre-order Jordan’s new Venom comic!Donate to Al Otro Lado, any amount helps right now.Buy signed copies of Youth Group and Bubble from Mission: Comics And Art!~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you Don't be afraid to be young and free Undo the locks and throw away the keys And take off your shoes and sucks and run you It's Jordan Jesse Go! I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy, detective. I just lost a fight with a satsuma tree, Jordan. I'm bleeding out here.

There is a... In my yard, there's a satsuma tree that originally was in like a pot on my front patio in my former home. And my mom, I think, bought it for me at Costco or something. And she brought it down. And it never quite fruited. And it never got bigger than about, I don't know, two and a half, three feet tall. First of all, just going to want to, you know, go back, mind this for all the possible details.

Thrilled to hear that Judy is a Costco fan. So your interest in Costco is like a, you know, it's like a family tradition. Yeah. So, I mean, I think I've mentioned before that my original passion for Costco came when my father first got his disability certified and had like a $20,000 inheritance from a dead aunt. And the combination of those two things, my father's service disability and that $20,000 meant I got a color television cable, a two-year-old Honda Accord wagon for our family to replace the metallic brown Chevrolet Nova. that we had previously been driving. And then we joined Costco. My dad also got subscribed to CD DJ, which was like the cable digital music service. He's like, well, never have to buy CDs because I'm getting digital music right through my cable box. So this is like if you turn to channel negative zero zero zero six, you could hear country and Western classics.

And then... Yeah, there was like 12 channels. of distortion-free, crystal-clear digital music that you can get. Yeah. Sounds posh. So, anyway, my mom and I have shared a Costco card since I went to college. My mom lives at my house for purposes of college. If anyone from Costco is listening, my mom.

They always are. They always are. We used to alternate years paying for it, but then at some point I realized that I should just start paying for it every year. Is it a, is it a Mrs. Doubtfire thing when you go to Costco? Do you dress up as Judy? No, but she dresses up as me. But that's more as she just likes the attention.

Sure. I remember a pretty significant celebrity. Yeah. So this sat suma tree sat on our front patio and never fruited and never got any bigger than three feet tall for, I don't know, 10 years, something like that. And we brought it with us when we moved into this house three years ago. And I put it in the ground. And it's now like 25 feet tall.

tall it's so huge something something about the soil but i do not know enough about animal husbandry to get it to produce edible fruit okay i think it involves hand expressing the cows semen the bull's semen i suppose you're so you're treating you're treating the tree like a cow for some reason yeah no because i presume it's a matter of animal husbandry okay okay so okay okay hold on i'm going to start writing this stuff down tree is cow go ahead thank you for writing that down but here's the thing i don't know about any of this i'm not i you know i got my real brown thumb when it comes to this stuff it is well you the guy who can't i don't need to tell you what you've been sitting around doing yeah sure let's i uh i kill all my house

plants because my thumbs up my ass yeah so it's it hard to water him i um i i it had it grew some fruit on it but it wasn't fruit you'd want to eat and it turned sort of it's still looks like Satsumas. It's like it didn't wrinkle, but it's sort of brownish and leathery. Right. But it never came off. So I went out there with my fruit picker to take the, because there's new ones starting to grow, because Satsuma season is right around the corner. You know, once the, once the weather gets cool, that's when the Satsumas should become ripe. So I had to take last years off. I went out there with the fruit picker. It turns out these Satsuma trees have spines. Yeah.

Like a freaking porcupine. Do last year Setsumas still say like Brat Summer on them? They do. That was also, that was like, that was kind of embarrassing. Yeah. They said they were H-O-T-2-G-O also. I don't even remember what that is. That's how last summer that is.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that my milkshake brings all the girls to the yard. Oh, Jesse, that's like 20 Satsumas ago. Oh, okay. Anyway, I did manage to get last year Satsumas off the tree, the ones that never turned into tasty edible satsumas. But the tree hurt you.

But the tree hurt me. I am literally bleeding from tree. My God. I never thought that satsumas would betray me, so. Well, we were saying tree is cow. Sounds like tree is bad. You know what? Tree is enemy.

Oh, boy. Enemy of man. Tree is enemy of man. Violent crime. Hmm. Why aren't they sending the National Guard to this tree? Thank you. Right.

They're too busy sending them to sanctuary cities. Yeah. They should start setting fire to all our evil trees. That said, if there is. Has the National Guard never seen poltergeist? I will say this, Jordan. They never seen evil dead. So many evil trees.

I will say this, Jordan. If there's anybody out there who does not have immigration status, it is a sanctuary tree. So feel free to climb up the tree. Sure. I'll pass you up some bread and fruit. Maybe some slices of cheese. No problem. Go for it.

If you're out there. It's really cool of you. Well, it's really cool of the tree, too. Well, hold on. I thought Tree was in it. Jesse, you need to get consistent with your messaging here. Do you like the tree? Do you hate the tree?

Fuck, I don't know. Let's find out how our guest feels about Tree. Our guest is one of our favorite friends as well as a wonderful stand-up comic who has a brand-new, hilarious special called Positive Reinforcement. Mr. Joshua Gondelman. Hi, Josh. How are you? Hi, great to see you.

I'm doing a right. Thank you. Just following this emotional roller coaster of your tree whose Satsumas are still riding with Biden. Oh, boy. Wait until they hear the news. They are really going to take it hard. Yeah. It's going to be a roller coaster for those guys.

First, they're going to find out about Kamala. Then they're going to hear from Jake Tapper about what Biden was hiding from us. Yeah, it's really going to be hiding with Biden. How are you, Josh? I'm doing well. It's very nice to be here remotely with you all. I'm doing okay. Are you a plant guy?

Do you grow and tend to plants in your home? No. We got, we had a beautiful piece, Lily. And my wife doesn't like care for, okay, our dog passed away last October. Our dog busy, who was wonderful. and was 17 years old at the time of her passing. We were so sad to say goodbye, but couldn't have asked for more time with her. And people sent so many flowers.

It was so beautiful. We did not care for the flowers. I mean, we liked them, but we did not tend to them at all. They died and withered very quickly, except for one really lovely piece, Lily, that my wife, Maris, maintained and was like a really lovely fixture of our home. And then as soon as we got, we got a new dog who is four years old, her name's Maggie, also a pug. And as soon as we were preparing to bring Maggie into our home, we Googled like, is a piece of okay to have our own dogs? It is not healthy for a dog to munch on.

And my wife threw it in the trash so fast. It's, you know, it's almost too potent a metaphor. She was like, moving on. She just yelled, closure. and threw in the garbage. But we're not really plant people. But that does sound harrowing. And Jesse, I do think you're offered to shield someone from ice in your tree that will

injure them when they climb it. I think that's really open-hearted and open-wounded. To be fair, it will also injure ice if they climb up after that reason. Oh, okay. I mean, it's so ironic you being injured by the Satsumatree, given how much you love satsuma. It's like me choking on one of those really thick mozzarella sticks from chilies. Yeah, exactly. It's like that time of cheramoya bit my dick off. Your mozzarella stick tree is fruiting at this time of year. Is that correct, Jordan? I faked those

photos. I fake them. I'm sorry. I know. I faked them. I used AI. They have all those mozzarella sticks have five fingers. Wait, Jordan, what about the thousand dollars I gave you to me a jackaloupe. I used that to fake the photos. You fake the, oh, oh, oh. I thought you used to use the jackaloupe to make the photos. To be clear, Josh, what happened is Jordan verbally described a jackalope to me. Right.

I believe that was real and that he could get me one for $1,000 without even having to see a picture. Then later, after I gave him the $1,000, he used the $1,000 to create a false picture of a mozzarella stick tree. Yeah, this timeline checks out. Yeah, I gave the $1,000 to a teen who knew about GROC. Oh, GROC generated the picture.

Well, a teen who knew, I don't know how to use GROC, okay? I'm still trying to figure out how to program my VCR, okay? So I found a teen who knew about GROC to fake the tree. And where did you go to find this teen? Listen, community center, right?

Did you just go to the community center? Yeah, he was breakdancing in order to save it And so you stopped him from breakdancing to save the community center I'm like there's an easier way to save the community center Help me with Grock I need to fake the existence of a mozzarella tree I have $1,000 from my friend who I lied to about a jackalope Yeah, this is the timeline

Who swallowed the spider To catch the fly I feel like if Bob Dylan If Bob Dylan heard these words in a row he'd be like Well that's a song right there And you would just sing that story in order. I'm such a mystery. Oh, Joe went down to the mozzarella tree.

Bob Dylan is still touring, right? I think so. He's like 90? How old is Bob Dylan? Got to be. Got to be in the 90s. We can get a teen to ask Grog. Yeah.

You guys want to just hang up Zoom, reconvene at the community center. 84. 84 years old. I just feel like it was like 15 years ago when you would see him sing, it would seem like he was too old to sing. Like not that, not even that he didn't know the words to his songs. Like he didn't know words anymore.

Like physically incapable of doing more than sort of like making the sound if you like poked a hole in an accordion. There's definitely like you want to see, we've talked on the show about like going to see the legends while they're still alive, you know? But I think there is probably a point where, like, maybe don't see the legend. You know, maybe the legend seems like they shouldn't be touring and are perhaps being exploited by a child who needs money. Jacob Dillon of the Wallflowers. Yes.

He's like, they won't make any more Godzilla movies for me to write songs in. Right? Yeah. If you have a song in the 1998, Roland E. Yeah. movie? Yeah, or either that or third eye blind. That's one of the two.

Okay. Stephen, look into whether or not the Wallflowers had a song on the soundtrack of the 1998 Roland Emmerick Godzilla movie. It was Heroes. The cover of the David Bowie song. Oh, so I'm good then. Yeah, it sounds like Jordan is good. I had an experience.

I'm good and worth listening to, yes. The other day, I got invited to go to the opening. of the Blue Note Jazz Club here in Los Angeles. Okay. Ryan Gosling finally got it off the ground? Yeah, he did. Yeah. Thank you, Ryan, for all you've done for jazz.

And I was so excited to go. Robert Glasper was the headliner. Hell yeah. I don't know. I don't know much about jazz, okay? I don't know a trumpet from a crumpet, okay? Okay. It's good.

It doesn't know a trumpet from a crumpet. I don't know. Listen, when it comes to jazz. You also don't know much about pastry. Look, I personally don't know much about the French I took. Don't even get me started on a science book because I will stop quickly. I know nothing. I'll try and eat it.

I won't stop until it's all gone. It's a crumpet. I don't know what a crumpet is. Stephen, how old is Bob Dylan? What's a crumpet? Now, I don't know a lot about jazz, as I was saying. But the blue note, that sounds, I, from, you know, the little bit of jazz knowledge that's not going to round up in the old brain, isn't that a famous club that's been around? He said the opening.

Is it like reopening? So this is the opening of the Los Angeles version. So there's a famous New York one. And there's also maybe one in Paris. And there's one in Orlando, too? Yeah, there's one in the Epcot Center. I think there's one in Hawaii. Yeah, there's one in Hawaii.

There's one, I believe, deep under the sea. Does that sound right? Oh, yeah, the Atlantis Blue Note. Yeah. So I went to the opening of the Blue Note. It was wonderful. Terrace Martin was there. Lettucey was there.

It was a blast. And I was sitting there. What part of town? This is, do you know where the Cinerama Dome was, is? Oh, I do. But is no longer operating? It's a sort of like the Cinerama Dome is currently closed, but is this incredible gigantic dome to movie theater with an enormous 7,000 foot wide screen.

And it's in Hollywood, which is, you know, it's like very squarely in Hollywood, which is a great place for that. And it is surrounded by this sort of mid-range shopping center. And that is where the blue note is. is a very odd choice to put it in this kind of like it does have an entrance to the street but it's basically in like the same place where you would find a borders or like a half price books but that's los angeles i guess it's very nice inside but when i was in there i was thinking like i should go i should be going to things like i'm a public radio host i should not be ignoring

the invitations in my inbox because i like going to things and maybe some of the Some of them will be dumb, but, like, I could get into things for free and, you know, maybe I would start getting invited to even better thing. You know what I mean? Like, maybe soon I'll be invited to movie premieres or something, you know? You can start shoving your face full of past apps. Exactly. I'm, honestly, I'm waiting for future apps. Apps to the future.

I just want to know what app technology is going to bring to us soon. Just mozzarella sticks too many fingers. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, mozzarella sticks. So I had sort of like resolved that I would be like a say yes guy to these invitations that I get. Because I don't get a ton. You know, I'm not on that many lists. But like I'll get invitations to like concerts and stuff, you know.

But immediately upon resolving that I would say yes to these invitations, I got an invitation to go see Rob Thomas live in concert. Of Matchbox 20? Of Matchbox 20. Or Veronica Mars. Yeah. The Veronica Mars. Wait, hold on. Is he the famous Crumpet?

I don't know what they are. Somebody asked Grock. Somebody asked Grock. I immediately got invited to see a Rob Thomas concert. And I just thought to myself, of all the things that I could get invited to. That I don't think I could. even enjoy ironically, I think it would be hard to top Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20.

Like, I think there are plenty of things that I could go to as like a cultural experiment as like, I wonder what this kind of thing is like. But I feel like if I went to see Rob Thomas, I would just be mad the whole time. Josh, have you ever scored any freebies to events based on your status? Occasionally, I did as a child, I won, which I was not a high status child, but I did win a radio contest that gave me tickets to the local premiere of the movie Tin Cup and then was immediately told I couldn't go because it was rated R. Did you like call in? Were you like the 10th call? I love to call into radio contests.

And I won just two tickets to see Tin Cup. And I think, this is the Kevin Costner golf movie. Oh, yeah. Renner also. Well, I wouldn't know. There's just a... Oh, they still won't let you watch the movie? Well, no, now it's a grudge that goes the other way.

You had to go see Pushing Tin instead. I was like... Air Traffic Controller movie, right? That's right. Was that Billy Bob Thornton? Yeah, maybe John Cusack? John Cusack. It's part of the larger Tiniverse.

Yeah. TZU. With Renton Tin. With Renton, 10. And Cat on the Hot Tin Roof. There's some pretty solid tin movies now that we... Yeah, yeah. I mean, people talk about there being like tin fatigue now and like, oh, is it over?

Like, did they do too much? Where the Disney Plus shows too much. It's not going to be over until a tin movie comes out and it doesn't gross $500 million. Right. That's true. That's really true. What do people say versus how do they act with their, how do they vote with their dollars? Did you get anything else besides the, you were starting?

to list the things that you actually did win from calling into radio. No, no, no. That's the only thing I ever won on the radio. So you, this was a hobby of yours. Yeah. Did you stop calling after you couldn't go see Tin Cup or did that fuel you to call more? There were other things that I called and then I think would have won. And then they were like, you can't have that you're a child.

I think I was pretty close to, if not winning, I think this was like a contest situation. But from the local Emerson College in downtown Boston, they had a really great underground hip-hop radio show when I was in middle school and high school. And they were giving way two tickets to see Atmosphere downtown. And I was like 16 or 17. And I called and they were like, no, you can't have the easier child. They won't even let you in. And I was like, nah, tin cupped again. Always getting tin cupped.

But it does feel, it feels good to win, even if you can't see the thing. You should have just dressed up like Jesse's mom. And then dressed up as her as Jesse, which a Costco run. When Jordan and I were in college radio in Santa Cruz, there just weren't that many venues for concert promoters to promote their shows. And so every show that came to town, they would give the college radio station a bunch of tickets to give away on the air. And I remember like one of the first sort of rude awakenings about our radio career was how hard it was to get someone to call in to win the tickets that we were trying to give away to the point where like often we would just have to make up a fake name and write it down on the thing. I think yeah, a couple of times I like told friends to call in for them even if they like couldn't use the tickets so we wouldn't look bad. I think I was the beneficiary of such a situation at one point.

Really? How was that? I don't know what the statute of limitations is on college radio call-in contest fraud, so I won't name the name of who did it, but I did because of a roommate who was trying to give away tickets and I think probably didn't have that many people to give them to get to see Green Day in Worcester, Massachusetts. Oh. That was pretty good.

Did you actually go to the show? I did. It was great. Cool. What era of Green Day was this? This was American Idiot era. Okay. Okay.

Our friend Gene, who used to co-host the Sound of Young America with us, the predecessor of both this show and Bullseye. It's kind of the tin cup of our universe. It kind of started it. It kind of was like the first one. It kind of planted the seed for, yeah. Exactly. We were having a hard time giving away tickets on the show. And so we actually dedicated an entire episode to, and Gene was single and looking to mingle.

So we dedicated, we had tickets to a movie, I think. And we dedicated an entire episode. It had to have been, I'm going to take a wild guess, supersized me. Yeah. You're like, polling for Columbine. It's one of the two. One of those kind of stinty documentaries. Yeah.

And we dedicated an entire episode to win a date with Gene. So rather than just giving away the tickets, we were giving away the tickets plus Gene had to go with you. Now, was that an enticement, or was it another obstacle towards a challenge? So we assumed it was a challenge, but this woman called in who really wanted to go on a date with Gene? Wow. And they ended up dating for quite a while.

Like, I'm going to say six months. Like, they ended up being boyfriend and girlfriend for real. You try not hooking up with somebody after you sit next to him and watch Morgan Spurlock scarf down a big Mac. Oh, man. And talk about a sexual image. Ooh, la, la. And at the end of that movie, I'm just trying to remember, McDonald's, eating McDonald's every day, that was ruled to be not great for you? No, it was supposed to be good.

Oh, good. Oh, I forgot the head day. It was SponCon. You may remember, Morgan Spurlock gave a big public apology, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was because it turned out he was on McDonald's payroll the entire time. Right, right, right. Wow. And we're all still supercisen to this day. His palms are being greased by big clown.

Being greased by big grease. How are things going in New York City, Joshua? There's been beautiful weather here. It is like summer is starting to taper off a little bit. and it's been really nice I've been so our new dog Maggie is so cute

and loves every person and she wants nothing more than to fight every dog she sees she weighs 16 pounds she is the shape of bread and has no muscles and just like there is not a dog that will walk by that she's not like

you can catch his paws and it is she's throwing paws she's ready to throw throw paws and she uh the problem with it is that it's so funny and i laugh every time and other people whose dogs are like well i guess now i have to fight this little idiot dog and start yelling at her don't think it's funny but that's kind of the big news of the summer we um we got a trainer who to come to our home and she was so nice because the dog is overweight

she's a little peanut our last dog was overweight and the vet kept being like you should get her to lose two pounds and I was like I don't know how to do that this dog medical she rejects exercise like a bad organ match we had to trade her and then the stuff that she was like oh just do this and and uh and this is like some stuff that'll that'll help get her acclimated to like focusing on you instead of the dog she wants to fight and immediately my wife was like dog doesn't seem to like that I'm not going to do it it was well to be fair it was wear this ham costume yeah and your ham costume

was kind of worn out from all the times that you'd worn it previously and I am bigger than her so it is stretched this is not this was too big yeah she was swimming in that thing swimming and ham do you take the dog to the dog park do you have like a regular dog park where you like know all the neighborhood people no we we take her out and around so there's some dogs that we see on our walk it's like our neighborhood in brooklyn in the

five months we didn't have a dog i don't think i talked to a single neighbor and now that we have a dog again i'm like hey good to see a spaghetti and i'm like you person how with a little meatball yeah that's right and it's like i feel like so enmeshed in the community again Except for I'm always, like, I've had to say, though people will be like, is she friendly? Or sometimes they don't even ask because she just looks friendly because she's a pug. I don't have to be like, you, you aren't picking up on this because she likes you, but your dog knows she has real bad vibes. She is not happy to see your dog. My mom is the queen of her neighborhood when she walks around with her dog.

Like a few times I have like visited her in Richmond, California, where she now lives. And she has this little dog named Chewy, who's like a little like, he's like a blocky terrier chihuahua mix. Like if a terrier chihuahua mix was, I think the shape of bread is a fair description. He's a little bigger than bread, but about that shape. And he just loves my mom so much. And it turns out that like the secret to my mom being. accepted in a community was just her being elderly.

Like before, people were like, what's this weirdos deal? But now people are like, we love this colorful elderly person. That's beautiful. My wife's mom has they, she does not have a dog any longer. But when she goes for walks, which is often, because she likes to walk, she brings dog treats to give to neighborhood dogs. And sometimes people are really amenable to that. Like, oh, of course. Like, you're a nice lady.

Give my dog a treat. We'll talk. Nobody's like, you know, she doesn't seem sinister at all. And then sometimes they will be like, oh, you can't. He's on like a diet. He can't have these peanut butter treats. And then she will argue with them to get you like, come on one treat. My dog is on one of those.

My dog, Jr. is on one of those diets right now because who's, who's having some digestive issues. So it's like a total exclusion diet. So he can only eat this like miracle food that comes exclusively from science with no natural inputs. You know what I mean? It's like made of quartz or something.

Right. Just like the chilies and mozzarella sticks, the really thick ones. Exactly. And there's door dashing chilies twice a day. I'm also like working with him at the park on like his, his like recall, you know, getting him to come back to me when he's off leash. like getting him to give me the ball instead of like me having to wait for him to drop the ball when I'm throwing the ball for him, that sort of thing.

And that usually involves training treats and he's so disinterested in the in the like medical science treats like just completely doesn't give a care about them. And so I just put into my e-commerce shopping cart cricket-based treats. Okay. Because I don't even understand. cricket. And my British friends try to talk to you about it. No, no, no. Hold on. Josh, I don't know a saxophone from cricket, okay? I don't know a cricket from a crumpet. They're made out of crickets. So they're... So you're getting little crumpets made of crickets.

I'm getting cricket rumpets. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm wondering if that will... Will that work? Like, do dogs, like, the reason you do it is because dogs are usually allergic to, like, different kinds of animal proteins, but they're not apparently typically allergic to insects. so but will my dog want to eat it I don't know yeah great question

I know yeah the piquiness of animals is always always kind of amazing do you think he's how does he feel about exoskeletons I mean he's been

sort of like building one it's robotic oh okay it's like are you concerned that he's maybe no I always wanted a no I always wanted a Gundam dog

yeah all right I need your mom never let you have one exactly yeah exactly and yeah and there's a dogs who have like the hurting instinct right and there's the dogs you know yeah who build gundams Josh who's out on the street in Brooklyn when you're walking your dog who's who's who's the spaghetti that you're interacting with spaghetti is a tiny little dog spaghetti is a tiny little dog it's not a man it would be so great if that was a guy wait hold on I think I can say this I don't think this is a secret I there is a really kind lovely woman who older woman who lives in my neighborhood and I see her all the time and it we would just kind of nod on dog walks and chat a little bit and so spaghetti is a dog but her name and I can say I think I can say this because she's a public and a figure her name is Annie Hamburger wow okay what when you say public figure what what might we know she's a theater producer she has like a Wikipedia page and stuff yeah

She's super, super nice, and she did used to forget my name a lot. So I would see her, and she would be like, hello. And she was so earnest, but she'd be like, hello, Greg. And I would be like, Josh, but nice to see you too. Greg's a pretty good guest. Whose name I will never forget. I mean, let's back up a little bit to the fact that both Jesse and I just assumed you were talking to a guy named Spaghetti. Maybe that's a little like what people from the West Coast think about New York

is that you just walked down the street and meet guys named spaghetti. I was also going to ask. I'm covered with cheese over here. I was going to ask if also... Hey, Casone, get over here! I was also going to ask if while you were walking, if a green grocer would toss you an apple. Yeah.

That's a great question. And then I flip him a quarter. Yeah. He bites the quarter to make sure it's real. I'm looking at Annie Hamburger's Wikipedia. page right now. You should have mentioned, I mean, as a comedy person, you should have mentioned that she's Neil Hamburger's mother. Well, he doesn't like that getting out.

He doesn't want to sound like a Nepo Burger. Have you had the Nepo Burger at Chili's? Oh, you don't fool me. I just, that was the AI created the Nepo Burger. Oh, fuck. Okay, Brooklyn, New York City. What are your top, what are your top destinations? on foot in Brooklyn, New York City. Josh, you walking on the Park Slope Food Co-op? What are we talking about?

I, we walk to the waterfront. King Kong Shelter. Again, I don't know a lot about New York. I assume the ear. Ed Koch's grave. That's right. Andrew Cuomo's house, if you want to walk fully outside of the city. Yeah, if you want to walk to a different county.

Yeah. Yeah. I've called satire, folks. Folks. I'm not, I don't hesitate to get political. I'll say where, we're, what city a politician lives in. We, my wife and I will take a nice walk to the waterfront. Oh, that's like a nice.

Yeah, that's fun. We live not too far from the, the piers, and it's like fun to walk, and you get to gaze over at Manhattan, and it's a lovely walk by the water. Where else do I walk to? Oh, I live walking distance from a bunch of comedy venues, so I walk to Union Hall in Brooklyn where I do shows frequently. That's very nice. Wow.

Yeah. Can you just show up? Are you bumping people like Prime Dane Cook? I'll bump people do seven hours of material. I guess not material. Jab them with the super finger on your way out. I've been, now, I don't like to talk about this because the science isn't there yet, but I am, I have been working on a super duper finger.

Okay, okay. Now, this is a fault, Dane Cook's Superfinger. This was a two in the pink one in the stink situation. I don't know that it was. Was it? Yeah, I think it was two in the pink one in the stink. And I think the super duper finger is going to have to be two in the pink two in the stink. Are you suggesting that the human stink can hold two?

Okay, Dr. Stellar. I think you're flying too close to the sun, Icarus. Unless you're considering, Josh, and I think this might be a step too far, unless you're considering touching a clitoris. You think I'm in a TSC? I thought the super finger was just two fingers. I don't think it was like a shocker type situation. Oh, maybe the super finger was just two, the middle two fingers, the ring and middle finger.

That was my memory. But what of the stink? So you're neglecting the stink in this situation? I don't know if this was about. I don't know if this was about fingering. I think that might answer the thing. No, the stink was involved. Okay.

Stephen Ray Moore, a super producer, created his job. The super finger producer. Superfinger producer. This guy's, you wouldn't believe how many of this guy's got in the stink. He's, so the Dane Cook Superfinger is a, uh, uh, two middle fingers and then the thumb sticking out and then the other two fingers kind of tucked up like balls so i don't know maybe i was wrong about the stink being in play i think the super two in the stick two in the pink one of the stick is like uh how are financials

looking oh it's two in the pink one of the stick um but i do uh i think it was just a more powerful middle finger to give to people. I think that was the premise. I don't think it was about digital penetration. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was at someone. Well, yeah, God.

I mean, the legacy of Dane Cook isn't as mighty as it once was. Do you think that there's a statue of Dane Cook outside Madison Square Garden? I can tell you for a fact there is not. Seems like a missed opportunity. When was the last time you were at Madison Square Garden? I used to work right across the street.

So, okay. Yeah. So it's possible that maybe the day because I've put it out one up. Gone up since then. What's across the street, Madison, Round Garden? There's my, the Deasus and Mero offices. Ah. And studio.

Yeah. So you're, you're asking if you, if Madison Square Garden or someone has erected a statue outside the venue in the three years since Deas and Mero was canceled. Yes. We're asking that if there's a funny answer. If it's not, we can just move on to something else. Or we can take a break. What do you think about that?

Yeah, let's take a break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Our thanks to every single person out there who is a member of Maximum Fun and listens to this program because you support our show directly. Thank you.

If you're not yet one of those people, go to Maximumfund.org slash join. We promise to use the money to fight against the robots. That's right. For every dollar you give, we kill one robot. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I want to mention also that if you're getting ready for fall,

you're getting ready for gifting season, remember to put this on shop. It put this on shop.com. I have all kinds of beautiful things. things, lots of gorgeous antique books. I just got in a bunch of books about caring for canaries. Okay. Just canaries, not all birds?

The thing is, is they were so delightful. They're just so delightful. I also have a lot of books about like puppies. I just like puppies, Jordan. They're cute. Just like puppies. A bunch of novelty gifts from the mid-20th century. So if you're looking for oversized novelty condoms,

Okay. That come with a shoehorn. I got that. Yeah. Don't use them to fuck. It comes with a box that says for the big proud fellow. Okay. What you hear those from?

Probably like 1960-ish. Cool. Yeah. That's great. Online at Put This Onshop.com, along with many other wonderful and beautiful things. Hey, if you want to get some of this stuff and you're in the L.A. area and you're listening to this the day it comes out. Good news. Jesse and I are both going to be at L.A. Comic-Con on September.

26th, come see us in Artist's Alley. I'm going to be selling and signing books. Jesse's going to be selling stuff from the Put This On Shop. We're at J-O-7. That's Jackoff, 7. Come hang out with us. I'm going to be there all weekend. I've got a new cool pal at the booth every single day. But the 26th, that's the main day you're going to want to come. We're both going to be there. Come say hi. Come get some books. Come get some cool stuff from Put This On Shop. I'm going to bring some vintage Lucha Libre magazines from Mexico that I've brought. brought back from Mexico. Incredible.

And all kinds of other cool stuff. Maybe I'll bring some Gremlin's two cards. Ooh, okay. Maybe I'll bring the Gremlin's two trading cards. You got to come see us, LA Comic-Con, the 26th. You can take a picture with us for free. If you want to take a picture with Adam West's corpse, it costs $200. Yeah, our picks are free.

Free picks. What happened is Adam West was the first person that you would take a picture with at the Comic-Con that I thought of. And then you realized he was dead and then you. Exactly. I realized that's why I switched it to corpse. but William Shadder, I guess. Yeah, Bruce Campbell works.

Oh, Bruce Campbell. You know, yeah. Madam West's corpse, great pull. Yeah, okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective.

Josh Gondelman, the human Setsuma. Okay, I've got a big Dane Cook update here. Ooh, I can't wait. Apparently, Dane Cook hired his brother Daryl as his business manager. And it ended great, and his brother did a great job, and Dane Cook's financially sound. Uh-oh. This, Jordan, this story, you're going to be a surprise meeting into this story as I was by the end of Super Size Me. The twist in that thing.

Sure, M. Night Shyamalan didn't direct it. His brother stole $12 million from him. My God. And went to jail. Okay.

Yeah. Holy cow. It's tough being Dane Cook. And then I heard that he was like kind of rowdy in jail and they threw him right in the stink. One in the clink. One in the stink. Oh my gracious.

I mean, Dane Cook has to have a podcast with a five camera set up, right, where he has takes? One presumes as much, right? I guess if you're trying to make back your 12 million that your brother stole from you. You got to at least have a podcast with a five camera set up, right? Yeah, I think that seems right. Speaking of podcasts and filming them, we are, we're recording this with our buddy Josh via Zoom, who's in New York. This is kind of a rare, kind of early evening record for us. I think Jesse and I look great in this golden hour light.

What is it a fucking Transformers movie? Look at this. Look how good we look in this fucking golden hour shimmer. Really good. Oh, Steve, take a note. We're only taping at 5 p.m. from now on. Golden hour, yeah. I got another Dane Cook update.

Oh, okay, sure. Dane Cook is married to fitness instructor Kelsey Taylor, who is 26 years younger than him. Oh. Apparently they started dating when Dane Cook was 46 and she was 20. Now they are married. Okay. Just a quick. Unlike Dane Cook's hand gesture, not a shocker. Yeah. Or much like Dane Cook's hand gesture. Much like James. Anyway, not a shocker. Thank you, Josh, for making that make sense. One more quick update. Again, I just say things. We just say things on the podcast. I just want the super finger to get the respected dessert. Right. It's not just a finger. It's two fingers. Game Cook has released three singles.

I'll never be you in 2006, forward in 2007, and drunk girl backed with Red Car in 2010. These are musical singles? That was my question as well. I'm not entirely. Sometimes they'll just release one joke, right? Not sure at all. And sell it on a seven-inch vinyl record. Yeah, why are you selling singles, Josh?

Where's the Josh Gondelman Kassingle? Oh, man, I would love a Kisingle. Yes, one joke on one side, another joke on the other side. And then a remix of the second joke after that. The remix of the second joke, yeah, club mix. Dog walks with spaghetti, club remix. I was just like, I was on the Dane Cook Wikipedia page. Was it hyperlinked from Annie Hamburger's Wikipedia page?

Yeah, exactly. And I was looking at, like, I had gone through the singles, and then the, like, first citation in the list of citations. You know, they got a list of citations at the bottom of a Wikipedia page. Yeah, you got to cite your sources. Is an AP article from November 9th, 2006. So a 20-year-old Associated Press article. And the subject line, I mean, the headline is Dane Cook, hyphen, Not funny, question mark.

And 2006 was like right around his peak, I think. Yeah, I think that's probably a hot take at that, at the time. Yeah, maybe his peak was 2003, but like 2006 still pretty squarely. I mean, the money was still rolling in for Daryl. Yeah, Daryl was still embezzling up a storm. I wonder what genre of those singles. are in. Huh? I know. Yeah. What do you think would be the best and worst case scenario for genres? I'm going worst case scenario reggae. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Doesn't get much. I would, I mean, obviously like,

you know, funny rap probably pretty bad, but funny reggae probably just a notch worse. I think the best case scenario would be graduation talk songs. Oh. Oh, yeah, sure. Like, inspirational talk song. You know, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a dark horse worst for you. Zytoco. I don't know. Maybe he's from New Orleans. I don't know. He's not from New Orleans. He's from Massachusetts. Oh, okay. Massachusetts is its own. Yeah. Okay. I met him years ago at the laugh factory. And like when I was, because his kind of a sense. was like my late high school, early college, really. And so it was big. And there were, I think, many of his jokes that I thought were very funny. And then I think that he didn't, his act didn't have necessarily a staying power that I maybe hoped when I was 19. But I met him at the laugh factory in Los Angeles.

And I went up to him, I was, yeah, I was probably 24. And I went up to him and I said, hey, no, I started to bother you. I'm Josh. I teach preschool in Arlington, Massachusetts, which is where I know you grew up. And people always say, when they find out a comedian, they go, so, oh, Dan Cook is from here. And then he said, people always used to tell me, Olympia Dukakis is from here. And that was the totality of the one conversation I had with Dane Cook ever. As soon as you said you were 24, I assume that the conversation would be you going here and say,

hi, Dane. We're from the same town, et cetera, et cetera. and he says, what are you about 24? And you said, yes. And he said, sorry, Han, too old for me. And bailed. Do you have any younger sisters I can marry? Yeah.

Well, at least I know your intentions are honorable. Oh, I love to marry him. I love to marry a young babe. You know, guys, he spent $25,000, his life savings to build a website in 2002, Danecook.com, an avenue few. if any, comics then considered. He also set up a MySpace.com page, where he now has over 1.5 million friends. Now?

I got my balls busted for a long time when I first started the website. Well, it's 2006. Cook recently told the Associated Press. Those same comics that were busting on me were coming back to me five years later and asking, hey, how do I set up a MySpace? And that's how Dane Cook started his successful web development business. I mean, Jordan, it worked for us and podcasts. We're going to read some ads for Dane Space later.

People need to help building a website. Dane space. Facebook. Face Cook. They drop the the, it's cleaner. Okay, here's what I'd like to happen. Let's take a call. While we're, you know, listening to the call, talking about the call,

Stephen, would you look into one of Dane Cook singles and tell us what the genre is? Sure, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so I think we'll probably play one of our calls. That's one of our beloved segments that people call in about segments we pre-planned because we're good show business guys and we plan things. It's not just people calling in, not just people telling us a story. No, it's just people want to tell us something. It's not.

Josh, we're not created. We don't work on the show. We are. It's not just people calling in saying a thing they want to say and then saying it's for your famous segment. And it's technically sometimes they record a voice memo and email it in. Listen, there's a lot of ways people can contribute to our famous segment that we did and came up with that we'll tell you what it is after the call. Okay, play the segment. Hey, Jordan.

Hey, Jesse. Hey, hey guest. I'm going to guess if you want away. Close. I'm calling in for your long running beloved segment. I sang it on the internet. I was listening to your most recent episode regarding the topic. of a cot of fornication.

And, you know, ever since then, I've had a little earworm stuck in my head that I haven't been able to get out. So I'd figure I'd try it here. I want to get down with a mistress while my wife is on vacation. But I got to get sneaky when I'm trying to get freaky so I'm having some frustration. So I went to my local Costco and got a cot of fornication. Dream of codifornication. Dream of codifornication. All right, that's pretty much it.

Love you guys. Pussy's still good. Yeah, pussy's still good. Love you too. It's important to neglect your child while singing, while calling in to Jordan Jesse Goh. I like that he was both on key and out of breath, which is my karaoke style. I feel like this call needs a like Stanley style asterix.

Like, C, Jordan Jesse Go, episode 355. I got one last Dane Cook update here. Oh, yeah, please. When I describe my act, I always tell people, if you like your iPod shuffle on random, then you'll like me, Cook says. That's tough. Using the correct MP3 player of choice to describe his stand-up style. Could you imagine if this clown had said, if you like your creative Rio set to shuffle. If you like your Zune and you don't know what tunes come in next.

If your friend shoot you some tunes on your Zune and you open the file without looking at it on the surprisingly clear screen to the Zune. That was this, that's such a specific timestamp on that because that was the era, it was like a few years long when people just used random to. mean anything they wanted to imply. Sure. Yep. It was, yeah, it was a way to not have to describe something. That is so random. Can I describe the cot of fornication first just to give some context.

It's a couple of episodes ago, Josh, we someone posted to Reddit and ad on Facebook marketplace that someone put up selling their husbands, quote unquote, caught a fornication that he was using to cheat on. It was a cot from Costco. Anyway. Oh. And we had, we had a lot of fun talking about that. I can only imagine.

You better believe that discussion was random. I got to share one. Random and awkward. I got to share one more Dane Cook quote because it's just a gem. I can only imagine that this person talked to Dane Cook for three hours and then chose the least self-aware things that Dane Cook said in that entire time. But Dane Cook apparently also said to this person, There's just certain people that give off an energy. As Red Fox once said, if you know what makes you likable, anything can be funny.

Dane Cook, a student of Red Fox. Yeah, a student of what can be funny if you're not funny. Probably a fan of Red Sox and Red Fox. There you go. He's from Massachusetts. See, there you go. It's from Massachusetts. Steven, any updates on what his music is.

like well yeah the one i will one of the singles i can't find anywhere on youtube um but the i'll never be you the first one kind of sounds like a stained or like that was i honestly that was my prediction was kind of early aught's butt rock like dun dun dun dun dun like that kind of thing they are music singles yes are the least that yeah yeah is it like a novelty song or is it a sincere your song i mean just from peeking you know while taking a listen it kind of sounds like it's supposed to be a parody but i don't it doesn't nobody's laughing when he's playing it so he's playing it live there's one where he is playing it live at like madison square garden people just groove into it yeah i i shouldn't have made fun of the idea of him having a statue

there but yeah that the and then the other the other two i can't find so i don't know if they So they've got to be good. It's like full Chris Gaines where he's like tried to scrub every evidence of that, of that from the internet. You're a Dane Cook single collector out there and you will sell us these one-track CD. Jordan has one thousand ill-gotten dollars. Yeah. I feel like Dane Cook might be the least canceled comedian ever to headline Madison Square Garden. Yeah.

She really wants to take his career into the stratosphere. He should get canceled. So, Josh, so Josh, I think you got a pretty good taste of how we're always coming up with ideas for our show. You know, just leave it to our listeners to do our work for us. So here's another perfect example of that. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Go. And I'm going to say Elliot Kalin. Much closer.

This is Jack. I'm calling in for your long running segment. It just dawned on me. I've been a listener for about three years now, and it just dawned on me while, listening to your stankus the rat episode with Mike Drucker that I don't know of any of the things you guys talk about. I don't know any of the bands or movies or most of your guests. And I don't know exactly why I listen to your show, but keep it up and I love you.

P.S. I'm also not a graphic designer or a librarian, so I might just be lost altogether. Anyway, thanks. were you looking for MySpace.com slash Dane Cook? Right. A lot of people, because our website is so close to that. Let's be honest. I don't know what we're talking about on the show.

No one does. Yeah, it's fine. You're not missing anything. That is the nice thing about no one knowing what you're talking about is you're never missing out. It's like, okay, it's like, you know, when you go to see, you know, if you haven't seen a tin movie in a while. And you go to see one because all your friends are going. And you're so like, let's say you're going to see Captain Phillips. Yeah.

Fuck you. CAP. Yes. Uppercase T. I in. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, obviously, like, you're missing all this context. You haven't, you know, you haven't seen the Disney Plus shows.

You're like, who's that? Who's the captain now? I don't, you know, you're lost. That's the one thing I know this. explain in the movie. The captain now is. I would have to get popcorned. I don't know who the captain is now.

I guess I'm thinking it up from the way he's piloting the boat, but I wish somebody would come on and say it. This is not that. This is not that. You're not missing anything. You know, this is the show. And yeah, it's a little bit random. It's a little bit awkward.

Once in a while, people say, should I, like, go back and listen to the back catalog so that I'll get all the jokes in the new episodes. And the answer to that is, no. No, you should do something more productive with your time. Although I guess this episode did have a reference to, you know, caudafornication and stankus. So, you know, there's a little bit, there's some Easter eggs for the fans,

for the eagle-eyed fans. How come none of those eagle-eyed fans have found the stankish voice? Speaking of bands, our listeners might not know about. That's a real guy. Our listeners are more n-n-n-natured types. Right. Here's my question. If we have such great listeners and so many of them are freaking librarians,

how come nobody's found the stankus boys? Yeah, it's a great question. Josh, for your information and, you know, all those wonderful new listeners who we love, thank. We love that you here. Please stick around. Stankis. And I can hold this up for you, Josh.

The home listener, you know. Thank you. We'll have to, yeah. That sucked real bad. Yeah. Josh, I used to consider us friends, honestly. Did that stop around Captain Phillips? This is a homemade, a homemade zine-style comic book that Jesse bought for me at a flea market made by some kind of pre-teen boys, right?

Would that how you would describe? Yeah, I would put their ages at maybe like 9 and 11, something like that. Sure. Kind of a tween zine. Yeah, kind of a tween zine. Yeah, they were trying to save a community center by selling homemade comics. Comic is about Stankis the Rat. It's the story about how his mom was corrupted.

C-U-R-R-U-P-T-I-D. Oh, not K-U-R-U-P-T-E-D. No. They weren't there with some other people from the dog pound, though. Lady of Rage was there for some reason. Um, and we, we've been on the hunt because we want to make some stankus co-lab merchandise. J.J. Go X. Stankus. Uh, we feel like it'll be big in the streetwear community, who we're always trying to reach out to.

Uh, we love those guys. Yeah. So yeah, but we have not been able to find them. I guess they have not been back at the flea market. Uh, no one seems to know them. Oh, so the Stankest boys are the artists. Yeah. They are the writers and artists.

I thought, I thought they were the character. So stankis is the character, but because we don't know the artist's names, we refer to the two of them as the stankist's voice. Yes, this is about stankus, the rat. Well, you assume it's kind of like an autobiographical kind of, you know, an Allison Beckdell kind of thing. They probably do a comic passes the stankist test. So that's two rats that have a conversation that's not about a man. Yeah. Right.

With two rats. And the two rats have to have first names. It can't just be rat one and rat two. Right, right. And they have to really rip a poisonous one. Just, oh, yeah. And a mom has to be corrupted. That's how you passed the stankest test.

By the way, corrupted moms is probably one of the top genres of children at the flea market created comic books, as well as homemade pornography. Right. Oh, man. Mom got corrupted when she got stuck in that washing machine. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. Hi, I'm Alexis. I'm one of the co-hosts of Comfort Creatures, and I'm here with River Jew, who has been a member since 2019. Thank you so much for being a listener and a supporter of our show.

Yeah, I can't believe it's been that long. Yeah, right? As the MaxFund member of the month, can I ask what sort of made you decide to be a member? I used to work in a library, so I just used to listen to a podcast while I resh shelved all the books. It really helped with, you know, doing at work. So I just wanted to give back to what's been helping me. Yeah. It feels good to be part of that.

As the member of the month, you will be getting a $25 gift card to the maximum fun store, a member of the month bumper sticker. And you also, if you're ever in Los Angeles, you can get a parking spot at the MaxFunn HQ just for you. Yay. I'm actually going to L.A. in September, so I'll get to use the parking. Yes. Thank you so much, River, for doing this. This has been an absolute blast. Yeah, of course. I've been so glad to be able to talk to you, too, and I'm so excited to be a member of the month. Yay!

Become a MaxFund member now at MaximumFund.org slash join. Hey, everybody. I'm Jeremy. I'm Oscar. I'm Dimitrate. And we are the Eurovangelists. Or a weekly podcast writing the word of the Eurovision Song Contest the most important music competition in the world. Maybe you already heard Glenn Weldon of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour talk up our coverage of this year's contest. But what do we talk about in the offseason?

The rest of Eurovision, duh. There are nearly seven decades of pop music history to cover. We've got thousands of amazing songs, inspiring competitors, and so much drama to discuss. And let me tell you, the drama is juicy. Plus, all the gorillas and bread baking grandmas that make Eurovision and so special. Check out your evangelists

available everywhere you get podcast and you could be an Eurovangelist too. Ooh, I want to be one. You already are. It's that easy. Oh, okay.

Cool. La, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Josh Gondelman.

Two in the pancus, one in the stankas. Josh, can I ask you? Beautiful. I have a question for you who's Jordan and I. I just had a wonderful live show in San Francisco the other day. Had a great time.

Wonderful time. That is, of course, my hometown. And Jordan, luckily enough, had an off day. So Jordan and I went and did some tourist bullshit. Stephen Ray Morris came with us for a little bit of it. But then he had to go visit a sick friend. Have some soup. Num, num, num, num.

Oh, slurp, slurp. It's my impression of Stephen. Slurp, slurp, you freaking sicko. So anyway, Jordan and I went on a San Francisco Bay cruise to the Golden Gate Bridge and back. And we went to Pier 39 and went pee at the Hard Rock Cafe. Oh, yeah. Is that like a famous tourist thing to do? Oh, yeah.

Listen, you can wipe with Santana's scarf. Yeah. Rob Thomas will be so mad at you. Jesse. The only thing that I show. I would apologize. We didn't not know that hard rock cafes still existed as like businesses, as cafes, you know. But the one there still does exist.

And the only piece of memorabilia that I noticed while we were hastily walking through the dining room to get to the bathroom because we had to pee and weren't sure where else we could pee was a guitar strap that once belonged to Joe Satriani. Pretty good. Not a guitar. A guitar set. You would think as the hard. Rock's shudder in mass, constantly closed, you could, you know, concentrate all the best memorabilia. Like the few remaining hard rocks, I don't know, there's probably, I don't know, 40 of them. They should be just crammed with the memorabilia from all the other closed hard rocks.

So why are we getting guitar straps? Yeah. Everything should have a Prince jumpsuit in it at this point, right? Yeah. Yeah. You probably had so many jumpsuits over the course of his career. Do you think they closed that hard rock cafe and bag down? at Iraq where Saddam was hiding, according to T-shirts?

Yes, I do. Okay. I think it's been closed. He's at the planet Hollywood now. I get most of my news from T-shirts, and there haven't been a lot of updates lately. That's really true. Too few T-shirt news. I guess we're probably, I feel like there was a golden age of just guys walking around with T-shirts related to what was happening.

Yeah. And I know that there's been some downsizing the federal government, you know, some real slashing of budgets. Right, right. The female body inspector department has just been decimated. I haven't seen one of those guys in years. Completely doge went straight for their throats and tore it out. It's all drones. It's all drones now just zooming around, inspecting the female bodies. The surveillance state makes me sick. It used to be a person's job. Thank you. I know. Now it's just, yeah, now it's just a feelingless drone scanning. Big Naturals. Man, I heard that Elon Musk. It was a job.

That was a union job. That was a good. You got a pension for being a female body inspector. I heard that Elon Musk personally murdered Fido Dido. No. The stuff it up. Spokes cartoon. Yeah.

And T-shirt character. Yeah. All right. Anyway, this was my question that I was going to ask you, Josh. But Big Johnson is now the Secretary of Transportation. Big Mike Johnson, speaker of the house. Is he the guy from the shirt? He is the guy from Big Johnson's casino, liquor in the front, poker in the rear?

That big Johnson? That's Mike Johnson, yeah. Wow. Yeah. He got really religious after the t-shirt business went south. And J.D. Vance is the dog from big dogs. Wow. That's J.D. stands for just dogs.

lead follower get out of the way so I had I had never done this bay cruise I had a great time hanging out with Jordan and I'm not just saying that because at one point Jordan fell over backwards yeah that was pretty great no no no no just on the day I had to be saved but I had a great time in general

loved the views of the bay and the you know the Golden Gate Bridge and all this stuff and I had never done that despite being a native San Franciscan are there any New York or Boston area, stupid tourist attractions that you either would like to do but have never done or have done and actually sincerely recommend? Oh, that's a good question. Have you ever been in the Statue of Liberty, for example?

The classic New York hack for the Statue of Liberty is you can see it pretty well from the Staten Island ferry, which is free and runs every 30 minutes. So that is the closest I've gotten, I think, to the Statue of Liberty was the Staten Island Ferry. Never, like, chilled in the head. Never chilled in the head. Although, dude, I consider myself chilled in the head, bro. Can I ask you, Josh? Have you ever been in a stink?

We've had a little of that sticky stankus. And we're all trying to do our own callback. That's fine. Whatever. They're all about as good as the other ones. They're all better than if we had thought of a new good joke. That's what's important. I mean, I don't know about better, less satisfying.

But Josh, what have you been, what have you done of classic, classic activities and actually support? I've sat in the green monster seats at Fenway Park. That was fun. Okay, okay. My favorite Boston specific thing is the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, which is like not a tourist trap, but it is like a local attraction. Do you guys know about the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum?

What is that? It is the site of the largest unsolved art heist in history. Uh-huh, yes. And it was the home of, like, one very particular rich lady who just gave her, her, like, home and private art collection to, like, set up a trust for it to be a museum. But one of the conditions was nothing changes, which is extraordinarily Boston of her, to just be like, it stays like this forever and then die. But she, there was this art heist.

And because the trust says that nothing can change, there are places where, like, paintings were cut with a razor blade out of the frame, and the frames are still there with no painting in them. Wow. Yeah. And there is lots of great arts still there, but there is also art that is missing, and they did not, they do not conceal that fact. I feel like if you're an art thief and you cut the painting out of the frame with a razor,

at that point, do you just like put it on your wall with that kind of like tacky, gummy stuff They used to put up posters in your dorm room. Yeah. Well, yeah. The art thieves don't want to lose their deposit. There's a great podcast about the heist where they kind of run down the kind of leading theories from over. This was in the 91 or 92 was the heist. Early for a podcast.

Oh, yeah. They were way ahead of the time. It was a telegraph. I was late for a telegraph early for a podcast. Right. Got it. They, but the podcast came out a few years ago. And they run down these.

It was a single. Isabella Stewart Gardner featuring Dane Cook They They Lady of Rage Lady of Rage would have been the callback Go ahead, Josh, tell your thing It's a great

It's a great podcast But one of the things that really stuck with me From this podcast last scene that WBUR did Was they were like You think of art thieves as like Kind of dapper gentlemen They're just guys that would steal other stuff But they happen to see art

And I think about that all the time You think about the Thomas Crown affair And really it's just a guy being like I think they left that fucking door open kid I'm gonna steal that fucking chalice guy Move the stereos from the back of the van Yeah I've got a Rembrandt

Rembrandt's only seascape They stole that? I believe so Okay I mean did Rambert paint one seascape And then it's just like Not for me I'm a landman

man myself. Call me Billy Bob Thornton. I mean, some say that the career of Rembrandt was, Rembrandt was kind of like putting your iPod on shuffle. Right? It's kind of random. I did love Rembrandt summer, though. Last year.

Brat summer. Yeah. Sir, why the fuck not? Who gives it shit? Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck me. Fuck them all. Flunk of the pink, two of the stink. Yeah. Josh Gondelman, where can people find your stand-up comedy special positive reinforcement? It is on YouTube on Blond Medicine's YouTube page. If you search Josh Gondelman positive reinforcement, it'll come up. Wait, so people can just go there and watch it?

They can just go there and watch it. I don't need to subscribe to Cinemax. You don't have to subscribe to Cinemax. It is easier to find than two of Dane Cook's three music singles. maybe all three i don't know yeah wow yeah i would love for people to watch it's also an album there's a little bonus content on the album one or two uh extended tracks that you can find wherever you listen to things wait but the the album i can't just go into my apple music or my spotify or whatever and just type in josh gondelman and listen to the album i got to do something you sure can and if you

put it on shuffle it'll be a little bit random it'll be a little random wow this is incredible well josh it's always it's always a joy to see you sir thank you and like Why, it's such a pleasure. Give our best to spaghetti. I will, because I see him. Our producer on the program is Stephen Ray Morris. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. You can find us on social media by searching for Jordan Jesse Go or Jordan Jesse Go pod on Instagram.

Jordan Morris very, no, Jordan David Morris and Jesse Thorn very famous is who we are on Instagram. You can also find us on Blue Sky at Jordan Jessie Go and at Facebook.com slash Jordan Jessie Go. If you've got a momentous occasion for us, give us a call at 206-9844 fund or send it in at JJGoat Maximum Fund.org. We are also accepting moments of shame. We are also accepting calls for any of the many segments that we've thought of. And please find those Stancas brothers. Please find those Stancas brothers. What did you what do you think they were called Wolf Gone? Yeah, there is a, looking a little closer at the comic, there is

a little logo and that I believe the font is very tiny. I think it says Wolf Gone Bros. So if that's a clue, if anybody knows the Wolfgon family, let us know. They're close

enough to go to the Pasadena fleet market, right? So there you go. Neros it down. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.