Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Nuts For P, with Janet Varney

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

On our second MaxFunDrive episode of 2025, we have the one and only, Janet Varney (E Pluribus Motto, The JV Club, The Legend of Korra), back on the podcast to chat the JoCo Cruise, hermit crabs, Knott’s Berry Farm, and more!Follow Janet on TikTok!Become a MaxFun member today or upgrade your membership!Live Jordan, Jesse, Go! in Chicago at Sleeping Village on April 11th!Jordan’s new Spider-Man’s comic is out now!Pre-order Jordan’s new Godzilla comic! Send us your niche Subreddits for MaxFunDrive jjgo [at] maximumfun.orgJordan will be at C2E2 and WonderCon this year. Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right! MaxFunDrive ends on March 28, 2025! Support our show now and get access to bonus content by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Give a little time for the child within you don't be afraid to be young and free Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you It's Jordan Jesse Goh I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy detective How you doing buddy? I'm doing good I have a hotel chain update You know I think we talked about hotel chains the last time we had- Bon Voy to Jordan Jesse Goh.

Bon Voy to all of you. Well, as podcasters say on every podcast, we'll get into it. Okay. It's unorthodoxed, but I think we talked about this topic the last time our guest was here. Okay. She's a beloved regular. And she's a Max Fun compatriot. It is the Max Fun Drive. That's right. Why don't we introduce our guest from

E Pluribus Motto from the JV Club podcast, from the Legend of Korra. That's right, Jordan. She's an anime celebrity, Janet Varney. And my new podcast, Let's Get Into It. And Janet's new podcast, Let's Get Into It. Let's Get Into It, followed by, yeah, you can swear on this. Oh no. Now podcasts are like over the air TV and one follows another. Yeah. Janet Bonvoy to you.

And Bonvoy to you. Why do we just say Bonvoy? Why is it Bonvoy instead of like... Is that like... That is the... That is the... Marriott? I mean, it's definitely the Marriott.

Yeah, I think they copyrighted a way of... Bonvoi. Great. It's a way that they invented to invent a word that they could copyright for their people to say to you. Okay, got it. So it's not... So if it were a dot com, it would just be missing its vowels. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it, got it, you. Okay got it. So if it were a dot com it would just be missing its vowels.

Exactly. Yeah yeah yeah. But if dot coms gave you cookies I would love dot coms a lot more. I'm always clicking accept cookies. And I'm never getting any. The first guy to say that. The first guy. Jordan thank you so much for saying that because none of us were thinking it until now. No one has ever said it. Such an original thought. Constantly on Twitter since 2005. Get the conversation started. I love to start the conversation.

Ideas, opinions. Discourse. I love it, ugh, discourse. What is the little jingle that plays before Hotel Chain Update sound like oh the podcast Stephen Where's the jingle wait? I'm not Matt With all these jingles Stephen. Why did why did you spend that long weekend in the Brill building? If you didn't write, that's a jingle. I just wanted to meet Leslie Gore

You know what you're better than me. So yes, we need a hotel chain jingle. It's just one of these things I'm going to be harping on. Hold on one second. Sorry. Steven? Yes, I'm here. Did you fuck Carole King?

What stays in Vegas, you know. Okay. Yeah. Is that where the Brill building is? What stays in Vegas happened you know, okay. Yeah What stays in Vegas happened in the Brill Bill, right? Yes with Carole King Third leg of that table buddy's favorite tourism slogan Okay, so yes, do I love to say Bonvoy of course I do maybe But the My Hotel chain of choice, and we've been over this, I'm just just setting the table here. My Hotel chain of choice is Hilton. And you've been traveling a lot more, so it behooved you to make a choice to say I'm gonna stack up these

points so that I can get free internet question mark. So I think I think as a Hilton gold member. Okay. question mark so I think I think as a Hilton gold member okay Hilton I'm a Hilton octopussy sure maybe fat bastard would have been clear yeah whatever awesome powers and that's a James Bond thing anyway do you want to go back and say fat bastard I don't want to say anything okay I don't want to say anything. Okay. I don't want to be here. Oh Yeah, it's not that fun here So you're a Hilton so I'm a Hilton gold member and I'm getting Automatic upgrades so that's you know, if you get a regular room, maybe you're getting a suite Maybe you're getting a lovely view. Maybe you're getting both and you're getting a certain amount of money Per day to spend on like food and amenities

Which is really nice. What kind of amenities are you going for it? So a lot of breakfast Sometimes I'll have a little drink at the bar On on the good folks at Hilton. We won't tell no, please don't I'll go to jail because I'm a child Don't tell Conrad I'll go to jail because I'm a child. Don't tell Conrad. So yeah, so you can you know, it's like it's food and you know stuff like that and that's come in come in really handy It's really really nice to have. Is it considered points or is it considered like? Hilton books. Oh

No, they are just called points. You don't have to spend your points though, right? You just they just they when you check in're like, here's 20 Hilton dollars. Yeah, you like accrue them and then you like, you know, you need to do a certain amount of staying per year to keep your status. And if I ever lose my status, I will have a heart attack and die. Because I need it now. I have only had it for a couple months, but now being a gold member is part of who I am. It happens fast that identity spot. Switchy. I have only had it for a couple months, but now being a gold member is part of who I am. Yeah. It happens fast, that identity swap.

It's witchy. I think we did chat about this the last time you were here, Janet, but just to know where you're coming from, as also someone who does a lot of traveling, a lot of con-based travel, do you have a loyalty program? No, not at all. Janet. A lot of the time, I'm getting booked by whatever whatever the convention Then they already have their agreement with Marriott I think there are several chains that like I'm not even on top of like

Telling them what my account number is all of that feels Like something someone else does and that I don't somehow have access to or have the understanding but it's very actually very simple I have a broad variety of points, and I don't know what they're for. I am there with you, my friend. I give them all of my personal information so they can track me from cradle to grave and get nothing. And the occasional text, the occasional weird text.

On the outside, they're also selling that information to other people. I have a lot of Virgin America miles. Does that help? You know what? I did. And now we're having a a lot of Virgin America miles. Does that help? Uh-oh. You know what? I did. And now we're having a real conversation. Didn't it get bought by Alaska?

Now it's all Alaska. It's all Alaska. I don't think that I've flown Alaska once. Alaska is a nice airline, but it doesn't go very many places. I guess that's why. It's not usually an option. Up and down the West Coast is primarily what you got with Alaska.

Maybe Hawaii? I think with your y'all's Virgin points, you can get a free CD at the Virgin Megastore Virgin America points, it's you that has virgin points. Oh my god Wait, can you curse on this? Oh, yeah Janet we'll get into it We'll get into it. And yeah, you can curse on this So I had a I had a lovely trip to Oakland this weekend I did a comic book signing at Cape and Cowl comics a great comic book store for in the area shop with them. They're lovely

So I'm you know, I to put up my Hilton app. And I'm looking for- You have the app. He has the app. I got the app. Janet? There's an app for that. There's an app for that.

And there always is. Let's get into it. Boo. So I'm on the app, put in the address of the comic book store. Where's the nearest Hilton? Shit's 20 minutes away. Holy cow. Oakland.

Wait, is that bad or good? I can't tell. Sometimes 20 minutes is great, sometimes it's too far. Not for my purposes. I would like to be a little bit closer. I see, I see, I see. Okay. Oakland's a Marriott town.

Oh, wow. Fucking, there's Marriott's all over. The people of Oakland, they walk down the street and they lock eyes and they shake hands and they lean in close and whisper, Bonvoy. It's like Hail Hydra over there. It's a company town and that company ain't Hilton. Yeah. So I wish anything you said described Oakland, as I imagined it. Yeah, I know you guys have been, you know, you guys haven't lived in the Bay Area

for a while, Janet, you- Yeah. It's been a while. Yeah. And Marriott has taken over everything. So, Marriott and Big Tech. Okay, all right. So, yeah.

They took over from Ricky Henderson. Sure, yeah. The late Ricky Henderson. He's out, Marriott's in. So I bite my tongue and stay at a Marriott. And of course I make all my hostel reservations with my tongue on my smartphone. You sign in, you type with your tongue. Oh, I type with my tongue.

Move that out. Yeah, yeah. That's a little something called the sweet life. Mm-hmm and so I stayed at a a Marriott like Concept chain called moxie. Huh? Has anyone stayed at a moxie? I love that What hotel companies have decided to do is have decided to do is buy every hotel in the world and most office buildings, then call them the something by something. Oh the something by something for sure. Every

hotel is the something by something at this point and I cannot disti- there's so many of these brands that I'm supposed to have such a sophisticated understanding of and I couldn't tell you the difference between Hilton and Marriott much less any of the rest of us right now pop quiz who has the garden in let me help and Janet I'm sitting here with Hilton man. Yeah. I mean, what am I even doing? I was going to say Motel 6. Who has a double tree?

That's Motel 6. And I don't know what the answer is to that. I think- That's someone. That is also Hilton, as is Homewood Sweets. Okay. Homewood Sweets. If you're looking for a waffle bar, it's going to be Homewood Sweets.

You know, Janet and I just went on the Jonathan Colton cruise. Oh, yeah. And had to stay in Fort Lauderdale, Florida to do thatwood sweets. You know, Janet and I just went on the Jonathan Colton cruise and had to stay in Fort Lauderdale, Florida to do that. Okay. As I said, you know, I shared this on a previous program, beautiful country, Fort Lauderdale. It's nice because it combines all the best of strip malls and swamps with people wandering around looking dazed. You've seen more of Fort Lauderdale than I have because I have I have to do a

thing where I'm like, where am I again? Because it's just like going to an airport to a hotel to get on a boat. Yeah. So it feels like it could be anywhere. That being said, I can confirm swamps. Can I just say all of Fort Lauderdale that I visited, which was a not insignificant amount because the day after the cruise, I spent the whole day swamps. Can I just say all of Fort Lauderdale that I visited, which was a not insignificant amount because the day after the cruise, I spent the whole day in Fort Lauderdale waiting for my airplane. Got it, have been there. And the day before the cruise, I flew in.

So I had a whole day. Got it. In Fort Lauderdale. It all is basically the ride between an airport and a cruise. There you go. There's no other category. It's not like you found the hidden pocket that's... I presume there's some abandoned gator attractions. I'm sure that's true. I was going to ask, I hear swamp, I'm thinking fanboat ride, right? Is there a fanboat available for you? It's like tiny, like the size of someone's half of a backyard swamp. It's like, and there's a little swamp.

That's what's so weird about... And then there's that, and there's a little swamp. That's what's so weird about it. And then there's that, and then there's like some, maybe some mobile homes, and then there's like another mini swamp. You're just walking to the Tommy Bahama Cafe. Yeah. And there's a weird patch of swamp just sitting there in between things that might as well

be Irvine. Yeah. But not enough for a fan boat or a lot. No, not even close. Maybe a tiny, cute child. Child, okay. Yeah. But I definitely should have planned,

like I think if I had planned a fan boat adventure, I could have gone on a fan boat adventure. It's just that fan boats are noisy and I don't want to run into Burt Reynolds. Sure, yeah. Guys full of trouble. Yeah, yeah, sure. He might rope you into some sort of bootlegging scam.

Yeah. I took a fan boat ride a few visits ago in New Orleans. I had a fucking blast. I'm gonna say, if you ever get a chance to go on a fan boat, you should do it. Jordan, which would you recommend? Let I got I got a weekend to spare Okay, there's a variety of bodies of water. Oh, here's your big three choices Because I've never been on any of these okay number one fanboat mm-hmm number two

Seed you okay, okay, and that's like a ski-doo, but it's a sea-doo? Yeah. Got it, so it's like a... A jet ski where you sit down. Right, sitting down. Everybody's doing it. Sea-doo. I saw a lot of them.

Number three, tubing. Oh, tubing. And I'm not talking about the masturbating New Yorker writer. That's right. Oh, I am. I would like to. Let's see, I haven. I would like to. Let's see.

I haven't see-dude since maybe like junior high. Somebody's dad took us on them. And I didn't have a, I think I have a vague positive memory of my one time on a see-due. OK. I also have not done any of those three. I really wanted to go on a sea-doo I really thought that this cruise was gonna be my chance to go on a sea-doo people were renting them

I think I know but those people didn't have Children with them who needed to go back to the boat or if they did shame on them. Yeah Wait a minute. What is the Joko Cruz if not a fan boat? Oh Right. It has fans on it. It's not powered by them Wait a minute. What is the geocouple cruise if not a fanboat? Oh, right? It has fans on it. It's not powered by them. I don't think it's a fan ship Sure, so wait, it's a French It's a friendship I just heard us get rich.

Watch out, Colton, we're coming for you, fucker. And I guess I still haven't had the like authentic tubing experience. I've had the one disastrous tubing experience. That might be a typical tubing experience. I don't think so. Mine was pretty harrowing. Alright. I wish we had the comic book editor C, you know,

Swingin' Stan says C, Amazing Jordan Jesse Go issue 149. I talked about it on a previous episode. I had a failed tubing experience that was harrowing. Did the tube deflate? All the things happened. Were you bit by a snake? I'm not sure

Oh, no, what would all the things be? I'm sorry. I said all the things I am now realizing they did not all have malaria some things. Yeah pirate attack that happened That's cool. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I'm still friends of the pirates to this day. Oh friendship So what are we talking about? About how pirates elected their captains. Yeah. I had a great time on my fan boat. I do want to have a relaxing tube and float with a beer or something.

When you went on the fan boat, what did you see, wildlife? Yeah, a lot of gators, a lot of beautiful swamp birds. I didn't see a single fucking, what are those things called? Marmosets that swim around in Florida. You were doing an accordion gesture. I'd see what, you know, those rats that you squeeze.

These big, well yeah, manatees. I didn't see a single manatee when I was in Florida. A nutria? What's happening? A marmoset's a monkey. An anaconda. I wanted to see a manatee and I didn't see a manatee. I didn't ride on a, I didn't ride on a thing, A nutria? A nutria? What's happening? A marmoset's a monkey. An anaconda. I wanted to see a manatee and I didn't see a manatee.

I didn't ride on a thing, but all I did was eat those coconut shrimp at the Tommy Bahama Cafe and see Paddington 3. No manatees in that either. No. That's a shame. Not a single one. How's the Tommy Bahama Cafe? The coconut shrimp was a little overdone, but it seemed to be the best place to eat

within like 20 minutes of where I was staying because I really did a lot of research. Yeah, if you've arrived at like, well, yeah, I did the work. Yeah, I mean, I had eaten a B minus smoothie earlier in the day in the same area and I bought myself a sandwich at the at the supermarket that was not that far away. Stale bread. Sorry to hear that. Well, now that you're if you're willing to crack open the stale bread comment, then I feel justified in asking you what constitutes a B minus smoothie for you. Like what is not pulpy enough, too pulpy? Is it tastes too fake, like protein powdery?

Because for me, that would be like a C or a C-. Like, hmm. Yeah, it wasn't protein powdery. It just had a little bit of like a tastes more like a sweetener than it does like fruit. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yeah, there. Basically. So maybe like too much juice, not enough fruit.

So it's like an excuse to make it sweeter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think I still want to tube and I think I will really like it once I do. Maybe this summer, maybe this is the summer when I finally tube. Where's the, do you have a place in mind? Like I know I gotta hit that Russian River.

Oh, the place that I fucked up was in Bakersfield. And I feel like I wanna conquer it. Maybe I'll go back to Bakersfield. Bakersfield known as the Fort Lauderdale of the West. Very much so, very much so. It's a real desert Fort Lauderdale. A little more landlocked, yeah. Slightly more landlocked.

So yeah, maybe that's where I'll do it. Okay. So yeah, but I do recommend the fanboat. I think if you're ever in New Orleans or another place that has a swamp that is long enough for a ride, you should do it. You feel very powerful on it. Did anyone talk in a broad Cajun accent on your fanboat? No, our guide was like pretty southern guy.

So yeah, everybody go on a fan boat. And I'd like to hear from people who have had good fan boat experiences. And yeah. Gator size, give you a span, a range of size of gator? All size. Oh, size. Little guys, big old daddies, and medium mommies. That's right, the mommator? All size. Oh, size. Little guys, big old daddies,

and medium mommies. That's right, the mommies are medium size. This feels wrong. All size gators, hooray! All size gators. All size. I had to wait for a flight in Fort Lauderdale, stationed at whatever hotel where, you know,

your stuff's there and then that's where you're gonna be leaving from one day. Hobby Lobby. Like every aisle of Hobby Lobby. I scoured every aisle for just something to be entertained by. So many fake fruits, so much scrapbooking. I bought some shorts at a Nike clearance center Mm-hmm once that was done, you know once I had gotten my stale bread sandwich That was from a premium grocery store. This is like one of those fancy Grocery stores not a Whole Foods, but a Whole Foods adjacent grocery store I know right and a premium. I know Place I would understand.

Do you guys want to know what the Moxie is like? Yeah. So the experience... Okay. So I came up with my two things that I could think of that were something by something. This is Moxie. This is Moxie by Marriott. I've been to one that's called like Yearbook or something like that. It's a chain of hotels that we end up staying at

on Judge Sean Hodgman tour because they're all near college campuses. The graduate? Yes, in college towns. Yearbook. But that did it for me, that's all I needed. And they're all fine. And they're all because they're in college towns

and near college campuses, that's where the theaters are that you play. We just stay in whatever is closest to the theater. But that has key cards that are themed by famous graduates of whatever university the hotel is next to. OK. What's the thinking there?

Because who's I guess it's like if the parents are coming to visit they'll want to stay there and feel proud of the college It's like a hip. There's like a hip boutique chain. Okay I would say my my experience with graduates and you can tell me if this is true Agree with everything you're saying very nice lobbies like agree with everything you're saying, very nice lobbies, like deceptively cool hip lobbies, that you're like, oh, this place is great. And then you go to the rooms and you're like, oh. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure.

They did a lot of work. This is a very old building and it has its charm, but that means that there's like a shrieking radiator. Or like, the room is like in a shape that you're like, a room has never been this shape before. I mean, ultimately, like when you are looking at a hotel, there are really two hotel experiences I'm looking for. Right?

One is someone else is paying for me to stay in a genuinely fancy hotel. Yes, yeah. I don't use a concierge. And what any of the differences between like a three star hotel and a five star hotel are ones that are irrelevant to me. But if you want to, if somebody else wants to put me up in the Langham in Pasadena, great, sold, right? The other thing is just a fucking courtyard by Marriott or whatever, something or other sweets, but it's not in New York.

And so you're just like, I feel like they gave me an apartment for $99 a night. Yeah, for sure, for sure. And if I can just get free breakfast out of that, if I can just get an apartment and free breakfast in Pittsburgh, which I got on this last Judge John Hodgman tour. We just booked some fucking other other sweets next to the venue. And my room that was $89 or whatever was basically in Mel DeMarcos' shoe closet. It's a timely reference, Jordan.

And you're like, I can make a can of soup on this little stove. Exactly. I know, I'm a sucker for like a full-size fridge. Yeah. I know. I'm a sucker for a full-size fridge. Yeah. I'm staying here one night. I'm going to load this up. Sure.

I can live here. I can live like this. Yeah. And so the Moxie, the vibe is? Should we guess? Yes. You know I like to gameify. Oh, yeah, please.

Let's do it. Let's gameify. What do you, when you hear Moxie. The Moxie is? I'm thinking, first, my first thought is Ted Williams, because he endorsed Moxie soda... I'm thinking first, my first thought is Ted Williams because he endorsed Moxie Soda in New England. It's, that's cheeky.

That's a cheeky kind of a cheeky name. It is very cheeky. Is it pippy long stocking theme? That's pretty cheeky. That would be fun. Amelia Bedelia? Harriet the Spy. You can spy on all of the people.

The things go, the people go the other way. So yeah, and there's the people on No, yeah. You can spy on all of the people. The things go, the peepholes go the other way. So yeah, and there's the peephole on every wall. On every wall. And a little glass you can hold up to every door. The moxie is like, hey, you got a lot of moxie, kid. I'm imagining it like ace hotel where it is designed to be hip, but also it's a little

shitty. You're close. I mean, I think that what they were going for was, what if you were inside Instagram 10 years ago? Okay, yeah. Oh, the Museum of Ice Cream. Yeah, yes, exactly. It exists, everything.

There was a neon sign on every wall. They didn't all say girl boss, but they might as well have all said girl boss. Right. So yeah, just a lot of like- This wall is green and has angel wings on it. Quick, let me stand up against it. Sure.

Take my picture. Art is life, or just something like that. All who wander are lost. Those sorts of sentiments. Wait, they are lost? They're totally not the best thing. Holy shit. Not All who wander are lost. Those sorts of sentiments. Wait, they are lost? That's probably not the best saying. Holy shit! Not all who wander are lost.

Holy shit! All who wander are lost. All who wander are lost. Enjoy your stay. Uh, you're a fuck up. The sign just says you're a fuck up. No one graduated from this hotel. Wait, what?

I've, I've, I've... Hi, is this the front desk? There's a neon sign in my room that says, get a real job. Your, your, your dad had a job, a house, and two kids by the time he was your age? What is this? Yeah, and like you, like you were theorizing, Janet.

Yeah. Wild lobby, trivia on Wednesdays, yoga on Thursdays called Namaste by Jay. No. Yeah. Namaste by Jay. I was not there on a Thursday, so I was not able to attend Namaste by Jay.

Did you get to meet Jay? No, Jay wasn't even there. Jay only comes on Thursdays. He doesn't come on the rest of the days? I guess not. I just figured he worked in the kitchen or something. No, yeah, he's the bellhop. No, and the lobby was wild and the room, a little bit shitty.

I was watching the movie. When it turned on the air, like a dust came out. That's a place where you're going to spend a couple hours in your room sleeping. The whole rest of the time you're going to be at the cafe or in Namaste with Jay or in the crazy funky lobby doing trivia. The room where you sleep is an afterthought. There was a foosball table that had a lot of stickers on it, but not like stickers for anything, just like a gecko and a yin-yang symbol.

So it's like someone at corporate said, we need stickers on this Right, but it can't be for anything. Anyone has an opinion about we can't put a band sticker on here Just a sticker of a soccer ball a sticker of a foosball game Yeah When I was this is when I was on the cruise my daughter and I watched the movie high anxiety the Mel Brooks movie high anxiety and there's a lot of hotel content in High Anxiety.

And watching 70s hotel content really made me realize that I came of age in a bellhop in a hotel era. I also was in that era at a time when I would go to literally any length to interact to avoid Interacting with anyone I might have to tip not because I was opposed to tipping but because I supported tipping But also was unable to do so right, right? So my worst nightmare was for someone to pick up my back I'm like no, I got I got I got it. I got it same and now It just it occurred to me as I was watching this movie like I'm like, No, I got it. I got it. I got it. And now it just it occurred to me as I was watching this movie, like I'm 43 years old, I have three

children. If I'm going anywhere, I mean, we're not staying in a hotel realistically. But like, if I'm going anywhere with my three children, all I want in the world is to give someone a dollar a bag to carry my bags up to the room. Like that is the most like to get out of a fucking rental car with all your fucking children. It's a nightmare. And they don't exist anymore. It's not a type of person at a hotel anymore. What are the hotel silly guy do?

I know. I know. There's still a wow. I remember my my wife's cousin, Luke Luke was a bellhop for a while. And he was in a fancy hotel in downtown San Francisco. The fucking amount of cash money that guy took home at the end of the day. Wait, he wasn't at like the Drake, where you have to wear like a whatever that weird meat

eater outfit is, something like that. Yeah, dressed as a London meat eater. What's the difference? I don't even know why it's called a meat eater anyway. A meat eater is just any carnivore, so you could dress as a lion if you want to. I believe he did have to wear a uniform, but I think it was a standard uniform. I don't think it was like a costume uniform. A Renaissance fair. Yeah, but he kept that job well into his adulthood simply because it paid too good to give up.

I mean, that's definitely a thing. And that's also, I feel like San Francisco maybe isn't now, but you could sort of get away with stuff like that in the same way you could get away with that. In London, in Paris, in some like Strasbourg, like a place where it's like, no, the service industry is actually a career that, you know, people are matri-d's until they die. Yeah.

And it's like, that's legit. That's not even like a placeholder job. That's like, no, no, no, you're good. My best friend from middle school's dad was a waiter at a fancy hotel in San Francisco. That was his career. He retired as a waiter and it was a union house. So he was in the SEIU or whatever, but also was getting tips on high end meals and like that combo fucking retirement benefits plus tips on fancy meals that's heavy money

that's nice also they work really hard so yeah why would we deny them that Janet as you mentioned you you cruised the Joe Hucko cruise what are your favorite cruise activities I well I regret that I never played ping-pong there's shuffleboard there's I never I've never even saw a picture of the shuffleboard on Facebook or something. I think it must be on the final deck, you know? The final deck. It might be up by the basketball court.

I saw the basketball court. I saw one man playing basketball on the basketball court and just thought, yeah, not a basketball crowd. It's not a basketball crowd. I don't think the gym is very crowded either. But even I, who sometimes enjoy a gym, that's not something I feel like doing on the cruise. But I do like walking the large oval of the third,

the promenade deck. I like how low you are to the water. I like that you can sort of keep passing the same people eating over and over again. The dog pee area is on that deck. The dog pee, the tiny patch of grass, much like the swamps in Fort Lauderdale. I like that you're going one direction and you feel great and then you turn and then you're going against the wind

and suddenly it's the most miserable experience I've ever had. Like there's something about that feels like, aha, I'm on the sea. How do you feel about the sea? I find it very scary, very large. Mm, yes. Uh, the first cruise, when I was first asked to do that,

I've never been on any other cruise, except for the JoCo cruise, and when I was first asked to do it, like, genuinely, the first image that popped into my head was the... Like, and the feeling that accompanied it was like instant agoraphobia, like, just, like, standing in a confined area, looking out at just a flat expanse of water, and then just open sky without any clouds. And I immediately started to have a panic attack.

Janet, I'm so happy that there's someone else who is discomfited by the seeming infinite nature of the sea. It's so creepy. I mean, if you can lean into it, sometimes I'll go out on the deck and sort of get that, like, allow a little bit of that creepy, awful, what if I just jumped in?

I mean, of course you're not going to, that's a thing. That's like a genetic, there's a word for it, I can't ever remember what it is. Same thing with heights, people are like, what if I just threw myself off? We're not gonna do that, but I might. Like that feeling, or if I tumble in or whatever, and then you just sort of quickly imagine

how awful that would be, and then you remind yourself, like, I don't, that's not going to happen. And then maybe you can turn that into something that's a thrill. I can't tell you, Janet, what celebrity astrophysicist made fun of me for having that feeling on bullseye once. Uh-huh. But I'll just say a celebrity astrophysicist.

I have some ideas, I guess. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I mean, that's a real... I should clarify, this was after Stephen Hawking died. Okay, go ahead. Oh, then I don't know who it is. Okay. No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, I feel like that made... I was worried. I was really worried about that. I thought I'll feel trapped. I will both feel trapped and also like existentially in crisis by just the blankness, the blankness of that. And I didn't feel that way. But I think it helps that you do go into port.

I take advantage of that. I do like just go for a walk. What are your top ports? I mean, they're all uncomfortable for various racist reasons. Like for various, like we've ruined everyone's life here. Yeah, I mean, the tourist money, but the thing about a cruise ship terminal is that it ruins whatever is near it. Yeah. So I know I'll say like a like a moxie. San Juan is very special. Like, I mean, San Juan like a moxie. San Juan is very special. Like I mean, San Juan is its own lovely place with like,

you know, it's a whole city and wonderful. If you made a plan to get into San Juan, I mean like old San Juan is where the ship lands. And old San Juan is a relatively small area. It's very beautiful, but it's also choked with people from the ships. I feel like you could make up because when we were in funky Nassau, I think on boatparty.biz, I like prepped myself. How do I get to something interesting, right? went to interesting things, and I was like, oh, I'm having a cool travel experience because I figured out what bus to take or whatever

that I can get back in 10 hours. But you really got to have a fucking plan. If you don't have a plan, you're fucked. You're just wandering around looking at trinkets. And that's why they do a lot of shore activities too, which I also, I'm just not a planner. I just feel like, I feel like I'm, like whatever thing I'm going to pay money for in advance, it's a guarantee I will not feel like doing it that day. Like, oh, the horseback riding seemed like such a great idea, but then I hurt my neck the night before.

And then it was just a thing I had to do. Oh my butt hurts. Yeah, it was an obligation, sorry. I ate all the carrots I brought for the horses, so now I have nothing to give them. Now I only have the stick, and that's me. Oh, I should've eaten all those sugar cubes. No, I, on San Juan, so my friend Adol, who is,

Adol and Jemma, his wife, from Hey Riddle Riddle was there and his Jemma's sister Takes the cruise every year and she's also like quite a traveler and she's been to San Juan many times like not on a cruise And so she took us to a place like in the city deeper into the city That was wonderful. We had an amazing meal. I saw more of the city then, you know, and that's why I had that experience where I really was like, oh, I was with people who are not getting on a cruise ship. I actually shocked myself in San Juan, like where the cruise terminal is, you know, old

San Juan is like maybe like two miles across each direction, something like that. Yeah, we do that. Planked by forts. Yeah. I mean, it is beautiful. And I walked across the opposite side of San Juan, and there's a hill too in the middle. So you walk up and down, I walked to the opposite side and then San Juan is like a walled city

or old San Juan was a walled city or old San Juan was a walled city. There's the rest of San Juan spreads out across the island, but like old San Juan was a walled city and there were like what were once the sort of like outskirt port areas beyond the walls and I went down through one of those when I got to the other side of the island, just a little tiny community, but like abandoned houses and stuff, which is not anything that you're seeing 50 feet behind you. Yeah. And then I found a trail that was along the base of the walls.

I mean, I was pretty confident the entire time I would be swept away to see. Mm-hmm. I saw so many fucking iguanas and hermit crabs. Oh, cool. I mean, like looking down at the ground and seeing literally like swept away to sea. I saw so many fucking iguanas and hermit crabs. Oh cool. I mean like looking down at the ground and seeing literally like 40 hermit crabs within the sight of, you know, within your field of view.

That's a lot of crabs. It was great. All rushing at you to pinch, pinch, pinch. Yeah, and they're all just pinching your balls. It's great, they go straight for the nuts. That's a soft tissue. Really? They know where the soft tissue is. Right up the pants, Jordan.

It's really something. So hermit crabs are nasty? Yeah. I mean, in a good way, in a party way. Wow. You know, would you think that these are not nasty freaks? They're getting up in other people's shells? I mean, that, yeah.

I mean, if you'll live in another man's shell, you'll pinch his balls. Right? I love to see a lizard. I do too. And we saw an iguana. I'm sure not as many as you, because I only saw one. But it felt very exciting. I mean, the color, what can I say?

I've lived in Los Angeles 15 years. I still get excited to see a dumb Los Angeles lizard. Oh, for sure. I'm definitely. I was listening to recent guest Alan McCloud's podcast Walking About, and he had our friend Tim Kalpakis on as a guest. Tim Kalpakis was talking about how when he sees a lizard, he and his buddies text each other,

they got a good LL, which is lizard look. And that's why, A, that podcast is now in Maximum Fun. It's the right home for it. Yep. Number two. I was the first episode. Oh. I was the first guest on Walkin' Bout.

Where did you walk? I took Alan to kind of just the Batcave. Oh, yeah. He had never been into that. We actually, it was a much longer hike than that. Yeah. There's a park in LA where the Batcave that the Batmobile drives out of in 1966 Batman You can just go hang around in it. Yeah, it's and there's a like a there's sort of a side secret way that I took him and

Really like tried to show off my knowledge of local plants because I had taken a walking tour of local plants in Griffith Park Several years ago. I have to say, it all sticks with you. Because if you hike a lot, which I do, you're constantly just seeing the stuff that you already was pointed out to you. So when I was taking the walk, I was like, I'm never gonna remember any of this. What's your top local plant?

Top local plant. Top local plant. And remember, you said that this knowledge sticks with you. No, no, no, I mean, if you want me to rattle off a bunch of things that aren't my top local plant. I can definitely be like Sage there's greed sage. There's those little like monkey paws They give you a wish but then it's ironic and it bites you in the ass. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They bite your nuts also

There's coffee berry. there's Mormon tea. This herb they call Mormon tea, because Mormons make tea out of it. I'm gonna say there's broom, there's wild oats. I'm gonna go with wild oats. Wild oats. Love to sow those. Or maybe buckwheat.

Are those natural or? Maybe California buckwheat. All of that, everything I just named is naturally occurring. Then you start getting into the eucalyptuses and all the things that were like brought in that are not. I just assumed the wild dogs had been sown by my friend Jordan. Everybody got to sow their wild dogs. I'm waiting till marriage!

Everybody got to sow their wild dogs. Virgin points. Guys, it's the Max Fun Drive. Sure is. I love to celebrate Max Fun. Stephen, great jingle by the way. That was a really nice jingle. You're more talented than I thought. You're almost as talented as Matt.

We have a new stretch goal to announce for them. Okay, so obviously, first and foremost, all of Maximum Fun, supported by people like you who go to MaximumFun.org slash join. If you haven't already gone and done that, well, what are you waiting for? MaximumFun.org slash join is just waiting for you. Five bucks a month, we'll do it. We have made a brand new Janet. Yes, a brand new Jordan Jesse go members only series.

Okay, it's called podcast movie movie podcast. Great. And sometimes we talk about shows. Great. We are going to be covering pot pot movies and shows with podcasting in them. Ooh, okay. Yes, reviewing them in terms of their authenticity. Okay, so like this true crime reporter got involved in the case she was examining. Exactly.

That's a wild idea. I think nine different people should do that. I think they may already have. What? They did the most obvious idea? Yeah, so we are gonna watch stuff like that. We're gonna report back. So you guys have like less than 20 years worth that you're pulling from. It's all gonna be very recent, very hot, very now. Very fresh, very hot, very young, very now. We recorded our first episode with Linda Holmes from pop culture happy hour. And we reviewed the pilot of the one season

Zach Braff sitcom, Alex Inc. Where he plays a podcaster and a goofy dad who does a lot of lying in the pilot. This sounds rough. And we have a very important announcement about Alex Inks. Yes, so here's what we decided to do. We, you know, spoiler alert, hated it. Yeah.

It was a pretty- It was spoiler alert, horrible. Right. But we realized, and we should say we're doing, this is gonna be a monthly series. So once a month, we're gonna be putting out an episode of podcast, movie, movie, podcast, and we also talk about shows.

And we realize that there's a part of the listenership that likes to listen to us in chain. Yes. Okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They like it when we're not having fun. Yes, indeed. As evidenced by the popularity of last year's special show, Gracie's Game Gauntlet, where Jesse's daughter made us

play bad video games. Yes. Just truly, nightmarishly unplayable video games. This is very sweet. This is a wonderful thing to be talking about during Max Fun Drive, because it's really like, hey, this is how much we love you, listeners. Yes.

This is what we'll do for you. Win's World for the Super Nintendo is how much we love you. That was actually one of the better ones. That hurt everything in me. So yeah, we know our listeners out there are a bunch of nasty hermit crabs who like to go for the balls. Right up the pants. In cheap inch.

So, for every 300 new and upgrading members we get, we will add one episode of Alex Inc. to the series. So, you out there could make us get through the whole fucking thing and maybe we'll like. to the series. Yeah. Oh my heavens. So you out there could make us get through the whole fucking thing and maybe we'll like it by the end. Yeah, we'll probably get Janet to watch one of them with us. I absolutely will because that's how I love the listener. I love the listener and I love being pinched in the balls, let's be honest. Pinch pinch.

It's just kind of my thing. Pinch pinch. So yeah, okay, so we're doing it here. Pinch pinch, I stole my house. So if you want to listen to this show, if you want to listen to us suffer through episodes of Alex Inc. Right. I mean, I just-

One with Janet. I can imagine how bad it's going to be. I don't want to imagine it. I don't want to confront it unless I have to. And that's going to be up to all of you. Yeah. Making it happen. And because it's not streaming on any service,

you'll have to pay a buck 99 for it. Can't wait. Can't wait. Yeah. Is that a rental price or is that I own the, I quote unquote own the episode until Apple dumps it and is like, sorry. That's unlimited viewings in a 48 hour window.

48 hour window. Okay. And now my algorithm is very fixated now on the fact that I watched one Alex Inc. And now every time I like turn on anything, it's like, you guys want to finish up Alex Inc? Continue watching? Continue watching?

I'll just put it on. I'll just put it on for you. It's fine, it's fine. Yeah, so anyway, maximumfun.org slash join. You can listen to that. You can listen to the Gracie's Game Gauntlet. You can listen to Stash Rules, Everything Around Me, Artbert Reynolds podcast.

Janet, you've been on the network for a while now. I'm sure you've recorded a lot of great bonus content. There's a lot of bonus content out there from the JV club. There's already bonus content out there for ePluribus Motto. What is the bonus content that you're making? So ePluribus Motto with our friend John Hodgman is the podcast you do about states, starting with their mottos, but expanding into their official other things Yeah, they're official muffins. They're official

Muffin there's so much there's so many official. Oh, can I just say my official soil gotta be loam got You wish there was only one kind of alone There are so many different kinds of loam you will not care any more about it But yeah, we are so we've been covering all of that most of the time if it's like a juice or a very cute bird or a muffin School children will have been involved in that thing becoming official right our understanding is that Assembly people and and anyone else would be involved in that thing becoming official. Our understanding is that assembly people and anyone else who would be involved in that

resent the children for wasting their time by bringing things like this to the table. Therefore, I encourage it to happen as much as possible. Apparently, our state academic subject is recess? It sure is. Prrrring! Is that the sound of a school bell? I forget. Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. So we have... I don't know. I've never been. It sure is. Prrrring! Is that the sound of a school bell I forget?

Oh yeah, sure. Prring. Yeah, so we have- I don't know, I've never been. Oh, elitist. We didn't have a bell at the school of hard knocks. Wow. Yeah.

We had like a, my high school had like a really long bell. It was like the ding, dong, ding,-dong but like the most electronic version of that you can imagine but why was it so long? Yeah. Why was the bell so long? My school bell was the part of that one new metal song that goes ooo-waaaah! Very confusing, very jarring. Mine just went

baa-baa-baa. And you were waiting for the chica-chica? Like come on! So we've had interviews with people both on from Maximum Fund Network and outside of Maximum Fund Network talking with us at length about their state and why they love it or why they resent it. And so you can find that. But I would go ahead and say expanding out from there, hundreds of hours of Boko.

Hundreds. What we call Boko. Hundreds. What we call bonus content. Hundreds of hours of Boko. Not just the podcast we've discussed, but every podcast on maximumfund.org. And all you need to do is go to maximumfund.org slash join. You're going to have access to all that Boko. Starting at $5 a month, you could boost, upgrade, gift.

Can I just say, hey, Susan Brossio, who's one of the producers of Bullse eye with Jesse Thorne my hit public radio program He announced last year at the Max Fund Drive that he was gonna put a folder on his desktop called Jesse bloopers. Oh and just drag sound clips into that folder anytime I fucked up right and he is he has compiled them into a special members only episode of Bullseye. Wow. That's a good idea. Oops all bloops. Just me fucking up burping. Yeah. How many burps do you think are in there? Hundreds. Oh my. I burp so much. Okay. Are you drinking sparkly water?

I'm drinking sparkly water, which is very unprofessional. You're guaranteeing those burps. But that turns out to be the bug is a benefit. What am I saying? Exactly. The bug is a benefit. Something like that. Because people are going to get to hear your burps now.

And that's just one of the many, many benefits of being a Maximum 5 month. We also have gifts, Jordan. Yes, so at five bucks a month, everybody who gives that and up gets that bonus content. And the gifts are cumulative, by the way, so if you give up a level, you get everything below that. 10 bucks a month, you get a show-specific, beautiful enamel pin.

Give me that pin. Oh yeah, ours this year is a beautiful summer boy pin. If you want to celebrate summer in style, get your summer boy pin. Janet, do you have show specific pins that you're digging? I think yeah, the JV Club pin is, I just had my 13th anniversary, so my show became a teenager. So we went back to the old school original logo, which is like a little smiling, closed eye face with braces. And then, and then for E. pluribus motto, it's a pin that says state snack. Double meaning. You and John are both state snacks as far as I'm concerned. Stop it right

now. I won't. That wasn't me. That was actually something that Stephen just played. That's just what they have. They have to stop it right now. Good job with the drop Steven. Thank you Now I'm taking credit Now I'm taking credit. Yeah, you know just don't over you stop it right now Steven I was gonna say don't over you stop it right now Steven. This is getting you can't stop me Don't do that. This year we, for bullseye, we made a pin that looks like a tote bag.

Hell yeah. Oh, very good, very good. It's the Public Radio. It's the greatest of gifts. Yes, indeed. What else? That's the pin. That's the pin, for 20 bucks a month,

you get a choice, either the Max Fun Rocket Hat, which is fine, it's a very nice hat. This isn Which is fine, it's a very nice hat. This isn't, look, it's a really nice hat. It's very tasteful, it's good looking, it's navy blue. It's just that I don't understand why you wouldn't choose this fucking insane fucking towel. There's a Max Fun psychedelic unicorn beach towel. At least Lisa Frank inspired

It's got a bunch of crazy references to max fun shows It is handsome It is crazy and you can get it for 20 bucks a month and then you also get the pen you also get the bonus Content 35 bucks a month you get a max fun cooler the coolest cooler bag There are higher levels you can give that if you're just rolling in the dough. But if you only got five bucks a month, that's awesome too. Yeah, most people give at those lower levels and it's what keeps the shows going. Yeah. Go to maximumfund.org slash join. That's where you can do it. That link will also be in the show description for this episode. And it's very easy to sign up.

And it is a direct way to support shit that you think is good. It is not about supporting someone's corporate overlords. The corporate overlords in this case are a worker-owned company that does things so that we podcasters don't have to do them so we can focus on making stuff. Co-op, baby. Yeah. Yeah, it's really nice.

It's never been nicer to work for a cool company with good values. It means that you can feel good about where your money's going, and it also means that stuff actually gets made and doesn't get just randomly taken down, and cool people can make shows that they like, and they don't have to have millions and millions of listeners. They just have to have some, a handful of loyal freaks and perverts.

And people who like really cute gifts and bonus content. And people who like gifts. Also, it sounds like there's some sort of theme. Like if I had all of those things, if I got all those things, I'd have a great spring Oh, we're spring break and we're just wanna make sure just wanna make sure There you go our collection of drop

No. Our collection of drops. That's the second bell. That's the you're late bell. Listen, we're all late for lunch. Let's take a little break and we'll come back for some more. Maximumfun.org slash join. Maximumfun.org slash join. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morse, Boy Detective.

Janet Varney by Hilton. I just got an update, Jordan. Oh, I love updates. We have 70, 12,000 new and upgrading members, so we have to make new episodes of Alex Inc. I call Alex! Yes, I called it! I'm. I call Alex! Ha ha! Yes! I called it!

I'm gonna be Alex! Oh! Oh! I wanna be no character traits wife! Ah! No! You guys are gonna have to write this too, you know. I thought you were like, I'm gonna write only Alex's lines!

This stuff writes itself. That's true. It's easy to make a good television show. It sure is! Everything has taught us that. That's why everyone It's easy to make a good television show. It sure is. Everything has taught us that. That's why everyone does it all the time. All the time. Oh.

Who do you want to be in Alex Inc., Janet? I want to be the podcaster who's making a podcast about watching his life. What? It's gonna get so meta. Oh man. Trippie Severance could never. Can I just say, she went there.

Oh, yes I did. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Wait, can I curse on this? Yeah. Fuck yes I did. Fuck yes. Ooh, bong, bong.

We could just do this for 40 minutes, and then the show's over. That's what podcasts are, Jordan. You didn't know that? I'm in the podcasting hall of fame, so I can tell you what podcasts are is going bong, bong. Yeah. That's what podcasts are, Jordan. You didn't know that? I'm in the podcasting hall of fame, so I can tell you what podcasts are is going, bong, bong. Yeah. That's what they are.

More jingles. Hey, I guess we got some momentous occasions to respond to, don't we? Yeah, when something momentous happens to you, send it to us at jjgoatmaximumfun.org via voice memo. Or just give us a call, 206-98-984 for fun. Here's one. Hi Jordan, Jesse and Dest. I'm guessing someone whose work I'm not super familiar with, but by the end of this episode, I will feel like we could be friends.

Her work is literally legendary. I was driving to an appointment this morning and I was listening to the episode, most recent episode with Alan McLeod and Osvaldo called in with a momentous occasion where he was driving with his dad and there was a sticker above the car name of the car in front of them that said anal. And so the car back of the car red anal Explorer, and super intrigued by this idea and driving along a busy highway, start looking at the cars around me wanted to share my list with you. What I saw this morning. I'm imagining the word anal above every car name. So here goes anal expedition, anal maverick, anal armada, anal ranger, anal trailblazer, anal traverse, and finally anal ram.

Yeah. Oh, thanks so much for the new driving game. Love you. Can I just say first of all, love you too. I really like anal maverick. Anal maverick's real good. Because an anal maverick does not play by the rules. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Also, isn't there a rogue? There's got to be an anal rogue. There's got to be an anal rogue. Yeah. an anal rogue. I don't know why. I'm an anal paladin, by the way. Sure, yeah. You can start adding it to D&D classes.

The fact that there's a car named after the city I was born in, just not, it did not seem like it would ever be named a car. So I'm looking for an anal Tucson. Anal Tucson, if I can find an anal Tucson. Would you say that was the part of Tucson, that was the circles that you traveled in? I would say there's really just one circle that's anal Tucson here. Would you say that was the part of Tucson, that was the circles that you traveled in Tucson?

I would say there's really just one circle that's anal Tucson. Oh, got it. I love- You're talking about Frank? I certainly am. I love momentous occasion, talking about different persons on momentous occasion.

It's like using this as connective tissue. Yes, it's just, I mean, we're all just communicating. Anal connective tissue. Yeah, it's just, I mean, we're all just communicating. Anal connective tissue. Yeah, it's meta-textual, like our podcast about the pod, your podcast about the podcast inside of Alex Inc. Well, that's gonna be my new stretch goal, just for me personally. Do I have to have it attached to either of my podcasts?

Can I just say what my new stretch goal is? A NATO armada. Baby. Get in here, fellas. Right now, I'm just a standard. I'm able to, but if I just really stretch, you can get the whole. You're gonna need a little namaste by Joe.

The entire Queen's Navy could set sail. Rum, sodomy, and the lash, Jordan. Rum, sodomy, and the lash. I'd be the King's Navy right now, is it? I don't know how that works. If you wanna support great art like this, Yes, I saw to me in the last yes, I think the King's Navy right now is it If you want to support great art like this go to maximum fun org slash join were the Picasso's of our generation Momentous occasion. Yo Jordan Jesse Steven yes This is Zack. I'm driving through Boston right now, and I'm pretty sure I'm stuck in traffic right behind.

So like Grand Master Freemason, really expensive car, bunch of like Freemason emblems, got like a G in the Mason symbol, got an MN, got a Masonry license plate. This shit's going to be, oh, he's blownMS, got a Masonry license plate. This is crazy, oh, he's blown over, all right, I gotta go. A lot of car, a lot of automobile related, is that a- You know what? Requisite?

Yeah, we only want people to call from their car. We only want you to call if it's kinda dangerous. I want all of our calls from now on to start with a really solid hook, like Zach here just went, yo. I like it. Yo. I gotta know, right, exactly what's Zach looking at?

Yeah, and I will just say about Zach, I mean, I love all of our listeners. Sure. And I think all of our listeners are great. All our listeners love you too. That's what I thought he was gonna say. Opinions are split on me. But I do think Zach is the rare caller that sounds like a real cool dude. Like a real classic cool dude.

The way you framed his yo, it almost seemed like he was like, I'm gonna call without anything to say with the faith that a momentous occasion is going to hit me while I'm leaving this voicemail. And it was like, I don't have the yo. Whoa. Hold up, hold up, hold up.

The universe provides. You know what I mean? There was a Freemason. I feel like he did give a hold up, hold up, hold up. Yo. His yo was a hold up, hold up. Yeah. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Forget what I was going to say. Blup, blup, blup, blup, blup. Forget what I was gonna say. Forget what I was gonna say. Now I gotta talk about this Freemason shit. I have to say. I was just gonna call about my first orgy and then this Freemason thing happened. The charisma with which he delivered, the charisma and conviction with which he delivered his yo

at the beginning really left me disappointed when it didn't end with peace. Zach, please call back. Call back, say peace. You could do everything exactly the same. You could say peace in the Middle East if you want to, that'd be fun. Exactly the same. Oh no, oh no. How many Freemason, does that mean Zach that there were like, are there multiple different identifiable Freemason emblems or was it like a person were, like, are there multiple different identifiable Freemason emblems, or was it like a person who was like, I need seven of the same emblem sure represented in different types of stickers?

First of all, fancy ass car. Let's just say fancy ass car. Fancy ass car. Just want to say first and foremost, fancy ass car. I don't know if this will be a hack observation or not. Yeah. But why don't they make the planet out of the black box? I don't know if this will be a hack observation or not, but I was under the impression that Freemasons were a secret society.

Why do you have so much branding? Jordan, to be one, ask one. Mmm. Freemasons are not very secret. You have to be invited to become a Freemason. You can't just waltz on in. Right. And they have some secret rituals. Hand shakes. Stretch goals. Milk shakes.

Stretch goals. Little kisses. Have you ever done one of those little Masons' kisses? I'm waiting for marriage. I told you, I won't even kiss. To be one, ask one. To kiss one, ask one. To be one? To kiss one, ask one. Ask for the kiss, and you may receive.

The Freemason thing is like a compass that they make you use in math in school, and you're like, what? I don't need to draw this circle. I don't know what it is. Yeah, and I believe Rotarians use a protractor. OK, great. I got it.

I got it. Yeah, it's the sacred. There's a t-or. Okay, great. I got it. I got it. Okay. Yeah, it's the sacred Yeah, there's a t-square and a compass but it's secretive enough that I don't know what that G stands for I don't either it stands for good ass Goddamn, this is a secret society All right, well Zack I hope you know that person to their home and have stories to tell.

I've thought of a new thing that says, say that again. Which thing? The thing about the G. It must be very secretive because I don't know what the G stands for. Oh, it stands for good podcast, Jordan Jesse Cohen. Yes. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows good podcasting is. Janet, a lot of people all agree,

all everyone thinks this is a good show. Wonderful. With good content. Oh, why does this feel like a joke? It's a good show and we do a good job. It's not. I'm a little suspicious. No, it's a good show. Everyone is calling Steven to say

how good his show is that he works on. Steven, was your mom excited when you started working on her favorite podcast? She was, but unlike the other podcasts I work on, there's no murders related to this podcast. Well, there's a first time for everything. Hold on, hold on, hold up, hold up, hold up. Yo.

Yo, let's do murders. Yo, let's murder. We do some killing on this podcast. You know what I mean? You're killing it, boys. You're killing it. We step on a bit till it dies. We're doing a great job. Folks, here's a real momentous occasion. The Max Fun Drive. In fact, we're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive.

We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive.

We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream of the Max Fun Drive. We're going to be doing a live stream. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Folks, here's a real momentous occasion, the Max Fun Drive. In fact, not just the Max Fun Drive, but the final time that we will ask you to join Maximum Fun.

If I may. During the 20. Ta-da-da-da! Stephen, how did you get the Ohio players? Oh God, we spent all of our money on that We need to raise money Yes maximumfun.org slash join Wait hold on I just did my stretch goals

Oh Maximumfun.org slash join Hey yeah the shows we do, they got fans, people listen to them. But they're not something anyone in show business wants to pay us to do. Sure, yeah. They're too busy making shows like Alex what?

Alex Inc, yeah. Alex Inc. Right. So, you know, when giant mega companies get into podcasting, the shows have to have millions and millions of listeners and you know, you just need Meghan and Harry. And so, you know. Or Anne Obama. Or Anne Obama.

Anne Obama. Or friend Nick works for Obamas. They make podcasts. Yeah, it's gotta be. So listen, we don't have an Obama, we just have us saying stuff. And I think something really, really cool is that when smaller podcasts get enveloped in those giant companies, a lot of times they just go away because the company doesn't need a podcast that has 10,000 listeners.

But with Max Fun, if those people want the show to continue, it can continue. Yeah, a great example is Walking About with Val McCloud. That show came from a giant mega company and now it's here on Max Fun where if just enough weirdos who want to hear Walkin' want to hear it, it can continue. And that's so, so cool. I love it. It's great. I love that fucking Walkin' podcast.

It's a great podcast and I'm not just saying that because again, I was the first guest, the first guest, the very first guest. The first guest. So who was the first guest the first guest So who is the first guest on that podcast Janet because I don't know first guess That's magical G. That's on that free mason's test Correct also A-H-N-I-T. And that is correct. And that is correct. Also, 10,000 people still feels like a lot of people to me. Like, you know, you're like, that's a lot of people who want to listen to a great thing. What a great place to be a part of that group

and listen to wonderful content. This is a real thing. When Jordan graduated from UC Santa Cruz and moved to Los Angeles to work for Fox Pictures. I remember this, I have known you both for longer than that. Yep. Then, wow, yeah, that's true.

I questioned to my wife whether I should continue to do the radio program that Jordan and I had done together. Because in order to do it, I had to borrow my mom's car and drive 90 minutes to Santa Cruz once a week and I was not getting paid. And in fact, I did not have the $30 in gas that it took to go to Santa Cruz and back. And so I asked my wife, she said, very famously, you're not doing anything else. No. And but the real math that I did in my head, lo those many years ago was Jordan and I were doing sketch comedy at the time. You knew us then, Janet.

I sure did. And I figured if we were willing to do the show at a theater in San Francisco that is also a cafe where 100 people show up. If I could get 100 people to listen on a podcast, that would be worth doing. And to this day, I think that if we work hard enough, we can get 100 people to listen. I can feel it. Triple digits. Here we come. 2025, our year of triple digits. But in all sincerity, the reason that we do this podcast is because we really love doing it. And the reason that we're able to do it is because you support it directly, right? Like, this is something that I am genuinely passionate about when we talked about this,

you know, we talked about this a couple of years ago, but like when my life during the pandemic was just really, really, really fucked up and down, like really, really major, major, major traumas happening in my life, both Jordan and John Hodgman offered to find fill ins for me because they love me and they're good friends. And what I said to both of them at that time was, please do not find a fill in for me. This is the only thing in the world I like. Yeah, I mean, for sure. I can relate to that very deeply. Absolutely. No, it's a place that we I mean, this is the whole network is like just a community of people that I've

never met a person who came aboard the Max fun. Friendship that I didn't find to be delightful and kind and sincere and great and talented and committed. And it feels so good to be able to ask for money and support for a thing that I really believe in. Because this is also a city in which you may be asked to do things that you don't believe in as much But you need to pay your rent sure and in this case like guess what I feel great about it And you should feel great about being members. Yeah maximumfund.org slash join I think so something max fun does every year is for the people who are members you can kind of buy the pins That you didn't get a hold of in the drive

So yeah, that's happening again this year. If you pick the JV Club pin, but you still want the Summerboy pin, you can do it during the pin sale. And I want to be clear, every single net penny of that goes to charity. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of what I was going to say is that like, it's really telling that MaxFun has these charity things that supports these great causes. You've supported El Troloto in the past that helps migrants. The Pinsale is supporting the Transgender Law Center. So it is really nice to know that MaxFun is a company that believes in good stuff and supports good stuff when many of our

companies are not doing that these days. So yeah, your five bucks a month is going to stuff that really needs it, and hopefully it's people who share your values and are out there doing something good. So maximumfund.org slash join. Your five bucks a month means so, so much to this network, and it would not mean that much to a giant mega streaming service. So if you have a giant mega streaming service that you're not really using much, yeah, maybe kick a little bit that money to MaxFun. It really, really makes a difference. Maximum fun as an institution, right? Once in a while, I will hear from like,

I will hear from people who are like, why does MaxFun get a cut of the money? Why doesn't every one of my pennies go directly to the podcaster? First of all, MaxFun takes a very small cut of the money. But I feel like I can now, now that I'm no longer the owner of Maximum Fund, now that I'm an owner of Maximum Fund with my fellow worker owners, I feel like I can speak to that. MaxFun provides all, in fact, I built the company specifically because I hated doing business stuff and was bad at it. It worked out fine. But like, I wanted to be a creator. I wanted to focus my energy on being a creator. Making a podcast independently requires so much more than just

making the podcast. And that's all the stuff that Maximum Fun is great at. We have a staff of 20 people here at MaxFun HQ who are worker owners whose job it is to support every single one of the creative people that makes the shows. That's why everyone who makes a show at Maximum Fun is part of Maximum Fun voluntarily. There's no ax being held over the neck of any podcast like you have to stay in Max Fun.

The reason these podcasters are with Max Fun is because they believe in it as an institution and because they want the support that they get and because it's a great deal for us. Like, I love the fact, the ways that, the million, billion, trillion ways that Max Fund supports our show and Max Fund makes us making a living doing our art possible. And that is possible because you become a member at maximumfund.org slash join.

It is the best. Must agree. I also agree. And there's no acts being held over my head to say that. You know what the G in the Freemason symbol is for? Best. Oh. The best.

You just have to be smart enough to realize that the letter doesn't start the word that you think it's going to. Right, yes. And that's how you're a Freemason. Exactly, the first lesson of Freemasonry. Uh-huh. Beautiful.

What's the second lesson of Freemasonry? Protract, motherfucker. Yeah. Protract, okay, so. I was gonna say ass gas or crap. Then what's number three? Oh, always use sunscreen. Yeah, that's so true.

You gotta use sunscreen. My neck is a little sunburnt right now. Why you gotta use sunscreen. Yeah, you gotta use sunscreen. My neck is a little sunburnt right now. That's why you gotta use sunscreen. I went to the flea market this morning. Ooh, that's fun. A little sunburnt. I like flea market, but you do have to put on sunscreen.

You gotta. Put some on, but I don't think I put enough on. And don't use the sunscreen that you would get at a flea market. That's gonna be expired. Sure. You know what I mean? That's not what you should be looking for.

That's been in an attic. When you go to shop at a flea market, there's a few things you should, I wouldn't look for prescription medication. I wouldn't look for sunscreen. I wouldn't look for what else is an old thing? I would never want a nice a nice bedside table. That's a great thing to get That's a great thing to get! Wouldn't look for civil rights Well, hmm, I guess no You don't want those old civil rights No, you don't want those, those are expired, those are expired

It won't have the same charm as the old ones It's a nice new civil rights It's a nice new civil rights It't want those old civil rights. You want new ones. Those are expired. Those are expired. Nice new civil rights. It won't have the same charm as the old ones. Well now.

Anyway, if you're already a member of Maximum Fun, thank you so much for being a member of Maximum Fun. You absolutely fucking rule and you're the greatest and we love you so much. We're so grateful to you. If you're not yet a member, just think of how good it'll feel when you become a member and then you listen to that shit I just said just now, knowing that you're a member now. You can high road everybody in your fucking family and I know you like to high road. Well, you Stephen can't because his mom's a fucking golden platinum angel. Oh man man level member. That's right. I heard that This is her favorite podcast

Hypothetically, okay. Sure. Let's just set up a hypothetical scenario. Let's run this through some hypotheticals I'm making an emergency manual. So let's run through some hypotheticals. Hypothetically, I just want to feel like we all understand Hypothetically, I can be listening to this right now. Yeah. I could pause. Yeah. I could go to maximumfun.org slash join. In fact, you could just click on the link that's in the show description. I could?

That's easy. Could I then go back a few minutes and listen right after I joined? Oh, yeah. And just listen to those things that you just said? The only thing I would say is don't do that if you want your pants to stay dry because you're gonna be creaming your fucking jeans because you're gonna feel so good about me complimenting the members of maximum fun we apologize to your pants yes sorry

you're gonna need some I'm gonna need to put $5 a month towards a new pants fund. I don't use that cream as sunscreen. It's not the same thing. No, that's not a sunscreen. That's a tanning oil at best. Tanning oil at best. Or hair gel as we were taught by. Yeah, that's gonna be refractory foam.

It's not gonna be reflective. I'm so glad that that Pledge break. I'm not sure where we are. I thought you were gonna say I thought you were gonna say I'm so glad that that all definitely made sense Listen, let's do that. Mostly was going to say that I was just gonna say I don't think any of my pledge breaks have included creaming anyone's Must be on Jordan. Jesse go. go. This is gonna be our year. It's gonna be a huge year.

Maximumfund.org slash join. Let's take a quick break. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And Jordan Morris Janet Varney going to enunciate more than Jordan did I don't have a Traditionally great voice Janet did some great singing on the cruise. Did you know that no Janet you sang? Yeah, you sound great

What did you say? You did some really good singing We don't have to get into that. Oh, that's a real stays on. Oh, we gotta get into it. Oh Let me just say it ended in tears, oh no, yeah, there was a lot of people crying was this Was this that part of celebrity karaoke? It was and I just was I felt very I Usually do kind of jokey stuff, and I did not come to take me away What have I been sitting on that people are gonna be in the fucking My favorite karaoke song! I'm Henry VIII, I am, I am.

No, it was a series. No, she sang Candle in the Wind. Candle in the Wind. Dedicated it to Princess Diana. I was gonna say it was absolutely the goodbye Norma Rose note. That's wrong, I apologize to all you, I apologize to everyone who loves Marilyn Monroe

and everyone who loves Diana because I just combined them in a sweet mashup. The amazing thing that happened on the cruise, there was in the celebrity karaoke portion, which featured many professional singers and many of us normal non-professional singers, was Aaron Keefe, Janet's colleague in Hey Riddle Riddle and in the improv shows on the ship, was roped into it at the last minute or at least pretended to be, then said, I don't know if I know the words to this.

I don't know if I know this song well enough. And then did like a Broadway quality performance of a song from Guy St. Dalhousie with a fucking little voice and. Dalhousie. I love that move. With a fucking little voice. I love that move. And like the whole nine yards. Good move.

It was unbelievable. I wanted to hit her in the back of the head with a frying pan. I think you can only, you have to, I think I did sort of, I was like, I don't think you can say that and then do that. She was like, who me? I feel like you have to admit it.

Yeah, you have to. Who me? A professional musical theater actor? You can't. Shee! It's a dangerous move. It's a dangerous choice. Do you typically karaoke?

Like in your personal, okay. No, I do not. I've never ever participated in karaoke, like willfully in my regular life. Oh my gosh. What about on the ship? Have you done it in the past on the ship? I have done celebrity karaoke every time.

Yeah, because it was my first time singing karaoke ever in my life of any kind. I've heard you, well, I heard you sing a music man song at one of the Max Fun finale. I've sung before. Yeah. I've sung before. But here it's true that that wasn't really karaoke.

Yeah, it's not really my, it's, I don't, yeah, it's not for me. But I do enjoy that one. And also, Suborin tells me every year that it's mandatory and I don't know if she'll stop. We will toss you off the side. He's lovingly telling me that it's fake mandatory, but I know that means it's mandatory. Well, that's the thing. When the whole thing is run by Paul Sabourin of Paul and Storm, the fucking acapella celebrities, and that guy comes out and he's saying that fucking

Wanted Dead or Alive song or whatever. Yeah. This guy's singing it like he's a fucking, Whitney Houston at the Super Bowl. Oh my gosh. You're like, yeah, no shit, you think everybody should do it. Oh my God, last year or the year before,

I can't remember, I think it was last year. Sometimes they do a Disney one, like Disney musical stuff. That's not, I'm not before I can't remember. I think it was last year Sometimes they do a Disney one Like Disney musical stuff. That's not I'm not I don't or even just wow So you don't think adults should go to Disneyland and that is what I'm saying You think adults should go to Knott's Berry Farm? I do need to go back there because I'm a huge Peanuts fan. Yeah, oh, okay. I did Knott's Berry Farm karaoke,

which is just where I go, do do do, do do do do do. And then I step in, wah wah wah, wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah, and then only adults know what I'm saying, okay. Yeah, who let the teacher sing? Yeah. Sorry.

Recess. Yeah, those were, ones ones where I was like, and I just sat and swayed, because you're sitting on stage. And I was like, yeah. Shout out to these songs. You don't even have a Hakuna Matata in your back pocket? I'm sure. I don't have anything in my back pocket,

because you have to do karaoke to have your karaoke song or have it in your back pocket. For sure, if they wanted to do like a... How many thingamabobs do you have? 20 or so? Maybe like a... The Mary Poppins? The Aristocats?

Ooh, yeah, I could do like, when you're the best of... But I wouldn't be able to get through that either. I'd start crying from the fox and the hound. Come on. Those guys were so cute. They were so cute. Those were cute guys.

Why can't they just be friends? You know what I mean? If you're an adult, just go to Knott's Berry Farm. Exactly. Yeah, I think guys were so cute. They were so cute. Those were cute guys. Why can't they just be friends? You know what? I mean, if you're an adult just go to knots Barry farm exactly Not say that yeah, I said it was a peanuts head Very different. Yeah. Okay. Can I ask you a peanuts question before we go? Of course. You said peanuts, right? Yeah Don't call up and pitch my balls about this, Jesse. You know what I mean? They call him the hermit crab for a reason.

He's always pinching balls. Who's better? I don't think I've asked you this before. Who's better, Snoopy or Charlie Brown? Oh, I mean, you can't do that because they represent different aspects of the psyche. Thank you. Yes, you cannot have one without the other. You represent different aspects of the psyche. Thank you.

Yes, you cannot have one without the other. You cannot have one without the other. Right. Well, you could have Snoopy because if you had the Red Baron. Now, so it would be Snoopy against the invisible, never see him, Red Baron. Yeah. It's not enough. You'd get too lonely.

Yeah. At least throw Woodstock in there. Okay. Yeah. So it's Snoopy and he has to fight Woodstock and the Red Bear. I have two people I prefer to both those characters. One, Snoopy's alter ego, Joe Cool. And of course his desert cousin, Spike. Spike has a tiny mustache. He has a little mustache. I found out, the reason I ask is that I found out recently that Jennifer Marmer, the producer of Judge John Hodgman, who's a total peanuts nut.

I mean, she is nuts for peas. Sure. Give me those peas. She strongly prefers Snoopy to Charlie Brown. And I thought that everyone liked Charlie Brown better, and that was the point of Peanuts, is that it's interesting because it's the only comic strip where the main guy is sad all the time. First of all, so many more of the characters are sad than just Charlie Brown.

Let's be clear. The dark world in which they are happy. Minus is not very happy. Minus has not very happy. I think Sally feels like not great. She's anxious in her own way. Not sure what's happening with Peppermint Patty other than You Go Girl.

Yeah, she's pretty cool. Schroeder feels misunderstood here. If she was a grown-up, I would want to date her. You know? I mean, this is a complex group. It is. They've got a lot of real... This is my best example of why I love peanuts is that as a child, reading peanuts

and reading a panel that's like, like Linus sitting, don't know what he's doing, he's just sitting there, Linus sitting, don't know what he's doing, he's just sitting there. Next panel, he looks alarmed about something. Next panel, Lucy walks in and says, what's wrong with you?

And then the final panel is him saying, I'm aware of my tongue I was like these fucking kids Crisis check they're trying shrooms for the first time body for no reason other than you have anxiety check Yeah, I I probably have said this on on Jordan Jesse go in the past But my physical theater teacher in high school, Jeff Raz. I did not know there was such a thing called physical theater. Yeah, he's a professional clown.

He was a former professional clown and Commedia dell'arte performer. And he performed at like, he was in the Pickle Family Circus, who was a big deal alternative circus in the 1980s in San Francisco, 1970s and 1980s maybe. So he was like at the top of the clown game, right? Like in your non Marcel Marceau type classy clowns. Anarchist clowns. Yeah, exactly. Anarchist clowns, the kind of anarchist clowns that both cause anarchy and believe in the devolution of power and collective action.

And then, uh-huh, uh-huh. Exactly. So Jeff Raz told me, told us in class one time, that he had performed on a variety show with the Whistler, who was the Whistler who played Woodstock in the Peanuts television specials. A full-time professional Whistler whose deal was he would go on and perform like opera arias whistling. Okay. And Jeff Raz and his clown partner had done a clown bit before early in the show and Jeff had thrown his back out, had injured

himself very badly. There was only one like backstage. And so Jeff was lying on the bench because he had thrown his back out. And the guy who played Woodstock came and said, hey, I need to sit on the bench. I'm about to go on. And Jeff said, I'm sorry, man. I hurt myself earlier. And the guy who played Woodstock said, get off the bench. I'm sorry, man, I hurt myself earlier. And the guy who

played Woodstock said, get off the bench. I'm about to go on. Wow. Why did he need the bench so bad? If he's about to go on. He was probably parched. His lips were dry. There's some whistle specific reason that you need to be just a dick.

Just a dick. Can I tell you something? I don't even remember that Woodstock made any noise I didn't really either so utterly forgettable whistler utterly forgettable he whistles no okay not my Woodstock listen you'd know this if you went to not very far no like a fucking grown-up listen there's a lot of divas in show business. But not at maximum fun. It's just creative people who wanna make a show and they wanna do it. We're whistling for the fun of it.

Exactly, thank you. Please don't ask me to whistle, I can't whistle very well. Knott's Berry Farm is a theme park based on jam, is that correct? A jam park. Originally just a jam park. I don't even know if there was any rides.

You just went and like went, weee! And then took a spoonful of apricot jam. Maybe you could be eating while you're walking or running. So listen, if you can't make it to a jam park, but you still wanna have a lot of fun with podcasts, you can listen to Maximum Fun. You can just jam with us at MaximumFun.org slash join! I mean, what are we doing but jamming, buddy,

but with our mouths and words. Steven, you're new to Maximum Fun. How's it going? Fantastic. Do you think people should join Maximum Fun? Oh, 100%. It helps me in particular, but also all the wonderful shows. Yeah.

This one's for Steven, everybody. For Steven, yeah. This one's for Steven. I know. We don't mention it enough, but A, Steven Ray Morris doing a fucking great job. Wonderful work. Steven Ray Morris is, if I may say,

a famous podcast producer. Yeah. And he came to work at Maximum Fun. This guy could just take his fucking ID card from when he was the producer of My Favorite Murder and go to fucking Theo Vaughn's house, show the card, and they would give him a million dollars. Yeah. it's really

cool like a big part of where your memberships go is like the producers of the shows doesn't just like go to the host it doesn't just go to max fun but like the people who edit the show and put it up and make sure it's there on time folks who who your donations are going to and I want to be clear Stephen would never go to Theo Vaughn's house So thank God would go to Nate Barghazi house and tell him you can tell Nate Barghazi He could make him the next Theo Vaughn. Yes, that's what would happen. Make Nate Barghazi a not jerk Very popular. Oh, yeah You get the million dollars one way or another.

My point is that you work at MaxFun because you like MaxFun. Of course, I love MaxFun. Yes, MaximumFun.org slash join. You help great work around co-op and you help all the lovely producers behind the scenes making sure these shows come out. And you help LJV, little Janet Varney. Who, me? Yeah.

Even I benefit from MaximumFun? Uh-huh. Oh yeah. Brr-brr! Max Fun Drive! Brr-brr-brr! Wait, is Cora here? Can she tell us about the... That's my Cora voice!

It's me, Cora! Brr-brr-brr! Cora's always saying, it's me! Here I am! Here I go! Hi, it's me, Avatar, the meme guy from Avatar! Oh my gosh, hi Avatar! I'm the last Airbender. None of you fuckers is gonna bend air

once I'm done with it. Everybody's just saying all the lines along with us right now. These are all the famous lines. Everybody knows. It's me, Pikachu. I love to say it's me, so you know who it is. Boing, boing, boing, boing, that's me getting a hard on from checking out Pikachu.

Alright. I'm not Avatar from Avatar anymore. This was one of the stranger Avatar episodes, yes, when we had the crossover with only Guy and Pikachu. Now I'm just Jesse. Alright. I'm guest starring on an episode of One Piece. Why are you not talking in your normal voice?

Okay, maximumfun.org slash join. We need money to pay for all this. Our theme music is love you by the free design, courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. You can find us on social media, where we will be still streaming every morning all of this week, all throughout the Max Fund Drive. We will be streaming every morning at 930 Pacific, 1230 Eastern, on our social media platforms. You can find us at Jesse Thorne, very famous, and at Jordan David Morris on Instagram, as well as JordanJesseGoPod.

You can also find us on Blue Sky. You can find us on Facebook. You can find us all over everywhere, wherever you want to look. And we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Goh. MaximumFun.org slash join. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you