Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Podcast Pantheon, with Dan McCoy and Elliott Kalan

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

On today’s episode, we welcome Flopsters Dan McCoy and Elliott Kalan (Sorry, Stu!) from The Flop House to the show to chat with us about Italian Brainrot memes, Jumbo’s Clown Room, fruit-on-non-fruit dessert crimes, and much more. * Listen to the latest episode of The Flop House Podcast here.*Follow The Flop House Podcast on Instagram. *Get your Flop TV Season 3 tickets here. *Purchase the Podcast Pantheon: 101 Podcasts That Changed How We Listen, featuring The Flop House, here.* Celebrate 25 years of Bullseye!* Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood!* Order Jordan’s new Venom comic!* Donate to Al Otro Lado.* Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Get Bronto Dino-Merch!Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow beloved former producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Follow new producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Well, aren't you lucky, Jordan? I am.

Stephen, you're lucky as well. I am lucky. Your friend, of course, Stephen, you're lucky because your life is rich with love. Oh, so musing, dripping with love. Jordan less so, but... Well, I did win the lottery, so that's pretty lucky. I just got back from Mexico City, Mexico, and I brought you guys a present. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, it's the same, it's the same, almost the same for each of you. Here you go, Jordan. Wow. It's a plastic gorilla with one eye. Yeah, so... Thank you. This is beautiful. What a beautiful boy. Yeah, it might be a lady.

I mean, look at them tinnies. Oh, yeah. Oh, and the dumper. That's a ladies' dumper if I ever seen one. There's some hips on this go-go-girl. But I haven't. That's what I call lady gorillas. Right.

Go-go-go girls? Yeah. Okay. The go is short for gorilla. Yeah, sure, sure. Guerrilla girls. So this one doesn't have any eyes. No. The one you're giving to Stephen has no eyes.

My wife said to me, when I noticed that the two gorillas had a total of one eyes, my wife said to me, well, you should take off the one eye. so that none of them have eyes. And I just feel like you don't have to make everybody, you don't have to cut off your nose despite your face. Right. You know what I mean? I think one is enough eyes.

I think, yeah, I think one eye makes the gorilla beautiful. All gorillas are beautiful to me. All gorillas are beautiful, equally. Eyes are not. Can I say this? Beautiful gorillas have curves. Thank you. And this one does.

Bo boom. It's also possible those aren't. aren't tits, the gorilla's just holding two pancakes. He's like, a breakfast is a surprise. Guess what I've got. He's also doing a deep squat. He or she or they is doing a deep, a deep squat. Could be pooping.

Could be pooping. And the squat is such to where the knees also resemble tits or a butt. Yeah, that's a good point. This could be, now it's Stephen. be ready to look this up a double butt gorilla could be a yeah a DBG

look up double butt gorilla double butt gorilla find out where they live and if it's Mexico city and how many eyes see how many eyes they have too yeah so I can put coins in here then well there's a slot I mean you can put whatever whatever fits in there sure anything about this size

like a coin a bus token sure my bizarre malformed penis yes You got a slag dick, right? My disc-shaped penis. Some of your smaller fralphing discs. Sure, yep.

My little frolfers. I'm going to fill this gal with little frolfers. I'm teaching baby to fronf. Sure. Yeah, you just say stuff on a podcast and that's over. Whatever. Thank you, Jesse. This is a beautiful, this is a beautiful gorilla.

I love it and it's one googly eye. We should say it's a googly eye. Yeah, it is one googly eye. What happened is they had them on a shelf, and then there was a bin full of them underneath. Yeah. At Neiman Marcus? They don't have Neiman Marcus in Mexico City. Okay. Is it Barneys?

Barneys. Sure. So they had them on a shelf, and the shelf one had eyeballs, and then I, but I pulled the ones out of the bin underneath that was full of them, and I did not check for eyeballs. You got to check for eyes. And I got home, and I saw there was. one eyeball out of the two guerrillas, and I said to myself, well, I'm not going back. Jordan and Stephen can go fuck themselves. So these are spiked gorillas. Or, well, Stephen could go fuck himself.

Jordan, you can fuck the slot in the gorilla. Because of my malformed penis, which we've talked about. Yeah. No, this is gorgeous. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. Did you get any other treasures in Mexico?

Yeah, I got all kinds of treasures. I mean, it's not a trip to Mexico if I don't buy a. a stack of Lucha Libre magazines from the 70s. No, it's not. That's like the main thing. I'm going to Mexico. The number one activity I'm doing is trying to buy stacks of Lucha Libre magazines. Right.

I mean, I'll buy like, occasionally I'll buy like some Mexican silver or whatever, but mostly it's Lucha Libre magazines. Right. And Liquados. Yeah. I mean, those are all investments, sound investments. I like papaya is my favorite. Likwato.

You have a favorite? No, I don't. You know, I don't know that I know what it is. I was just kind of yes anding you. It's like fruit and milk and a little bit of sugar blended together. Oh, okay, sure. Yeah, I've had those. Yeah.

You got a favorite? Fraser, strawberry? Oh, yeah, strawberry's good. Papaya's good. Mango. I've had a mango. Anyway. Let's just list drinks.

Hey, we got a couple of guests. Do you think they want to list drinks? They're probably resenting you two for getting those sweet gorillas. Yeah, we have two guerrilla-less guests. Suck it. Yeah, that Steven's right. Suck it. Guess what, Dan?

Wait, what? What? You get coconut soap. Oh, thanks. Wow. It's made out of real coconuts. Our guest on the program. We said it.

Two of the three hosts of the flop house. Stu can go suck 11. Oh, wow. Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalin. Hi, friends. How are you? Hello. Hello, it's great.

I love that you brought a living example of the famous phrase in the land of the blind gorillas the one-eyed gorilla is king I want to say speaking both of gorillas, great apes and insults to an absent person so I have a

I have a bone to pick I want to bring this up right off of that Oh yeah! Let's get picking! So Elliot... Steven, can we play the picking theme song? That's not it. There's the one Depeche Mode wrote for us. Yeah, that was the theme de banjo song. Depeche Mode, mostly known for their picking music. It's not, the song doesn't have picking in it.

It's about picking. It's about picking bones. Isn't it banjo picking? It's a fistopopopop. That every song is named what it is. Yes. Well, I'd like to change that because I find a lot of songs very confusing. Oh, here's my favorite song, accordion.

Come on. You're like symphony of destruction This is not a real symphony There's only one movement You're right, Dan, you're right Elliot was recently On your bonus Content podcast, movie, movie podcast

You know it Discussing versus KK Yeah We should say If you're not already Max Fund member You should join

Because we do a podcast called podcast movie movie podcast where we review movies and shows that have podcasting in them. Elliot joined us for a episode about Godzilla versus Kong. Yeah, I'm glad that you picked up what I was putting down, which is really driving people

towards those memberships. But I was listening to it. So they call him Boko McCoy. Otherwise, we'd have to think of content for the show, Dan. That's true. I was listening to it, and right off the bat, Jordan said, you know, we've got one of the funniest, if not the funniest, here, or something along those lines, Elliot Kalin. and Jesse says

Fuck you, Dan. Yeah. Because I knew you'd be listening because you're such a thoughtful guy. So considerate of your friends. You listen to the podcast. You said me a nice text about something we said every once in a while.

Those things are all true. But then Elliot said, I don't think even Dan would argue with that. I think you would accept it. And I'm just, I'm here to say, like, yes, that is true. But not necessarily just. Just because I think Elliot is very funny, it's also because I have no self-esteem and I don't like arguing with things.

It's very easy to state that you are better than Dan at something. So it could be anything. It could be, I'm better at being Dan than Dan. He'd be like, oh, I don't want to cause a plus. Is it possible that you were only able to bring up this dispute that you have here, Dan, because despite the fact that Elliot is one of the one, two, three, four of the five of us

who lives in Los Angeles. Elliot has traded spots with you. You are living in, you are in Los Angeles right now, and Elliot is on the East Coast. Yeah, that's true. Elliot, I came to L.A. to visit, in no small part to maybe see a little bit more of my friend Elliot.

Yeah. And he immediately decamped for the other coast. I assume because he's more comfortable relating to me through a computer screen now after all the years. It's the physical proximity that makes me uncomfortable. Yeah. Now, we had a very nice, we had a very nice day before Elliot had to leave for personal reasons, but we had, you know, we did stuff. I'm in beautiful Florida visiting my father in a, in a, the kind of place where you just look out at a long, long straight street of the

same exact house over and over again into infinity, as if two mirrors have been placed on either side of one house and it just went on forever. But it was not for that, if it was not for visiting for these personal reasons, there's a reason I had to come now. If not visiting these personal reasons, I surely would have hung around and spent more time with my best bud, Dan.

It would have been great. What thing? Fuck you, Stuart. It's okay. Stuart doesn't listen. No. What kind of stuff did you, in the little time that you did overlap,

what did y'all do? What did we do? Well, first, well, I mean, first there was a crisis because I had double booked. I'd gotten days mixed up. I thought I was seeing Dan on a Saturday. I was really seeing him on a Sunday.

But we were doing Russia-Shana dinner on Sunday. Sure. Well, I mean, in this case, it truly was. My God, fixed Saturday. So it worked out pretty well. I had brunch with Dan and his wife. He had brunch with me and my wife and my younger son. And then I drove him over to the car rental place.

And then Dan came over later. We recorded some flop-housin. So he actually got to spend a fair amount of time together that day. And then you hung out with us for a little bit when my in-laws were over. I carved off a little of the hollah for myself, even though I was not celebrating my Shana with you. And it was good. And I got to for your son. We would have invited you.

We would have invited you. We would have invited you. We just know that you were a horrible anti-Semite. We hate my religion and the people who celebrate it. You always try and paint me. Listen, you got to, listen, when you do a podcast as long as we have, you know, you got to have a couple of running jokes about your co-hoes. Exactly. For Dan for a while, it was the, you know, he's kind of the leader.

He keeps things on track. He's a little dull. And now it's just anti-Semite. So I feel like there are times when we're on the show and me and Stuart are just as jokes, we'll talk about like, Dan, what was that thing you were saying before the recording about immigrants? And he's Dan's like, please stop. And we're really going to talk about how I'm boring or something. It's that sort of tired sort of Alan Arkin energy that I'm bringing to the please stop. I think it encourages even more of this.

No, please. Dan, what was this? You never finished that story you were telling me about your visit to Epstein Island? And he's like, please don't do that. No, no, it doesn't. It doesn't. Never happen. Could you please don't do that.

Yeah, so I think we should stop. I think we should do less of that on the Flop House. No, but I had a great time drawing memes that your son wanted me to draw so then he could color those memes. So my younger son is obsessed with Italian brain rot. So I've heard this, but I don't know what it is. I'm still trying to figure out exactly. So people take two things, an animal and a thing. They mash them together in an AI picture.

Okay. And then they give it a name that sounds vaguely like what something might sound like an Italian. Okay. And then somehow, a elaborate lore starts to build up around these. But they're not like, it's not a property or a brand or a show or a comic or a book. It's not attached to anything. So it's like, it's like I described it to someone earlier today as being, my son is like experiencing, this weird semiotic experiment

where the signifies nothing like it's a brand with nothing behind it and it seems to be crowd like sourced like I don't know that anyone owns it I mean people merchandise stuff off it but I don't think there's an official I am I'm sorry I don't think the deadline article has dropped yet but I am writing the Italian brain

rot movie for Dreamworks oh wow James Gordon is going to play the Italian brain rat I also feel like it's really important to point out that Elliot's son is Noam Chomsky legendary linguist Noam Chomsky that's why he's so interested in. He's always, he's always like, father, father, the signifies nothing. We have reached the endpoint with human language.

And I'm like, uh, gnome. No, actually, no, he's not the linguist, Noam Chomsky. He's Nome Chomsky, a gnome who lives in a mushroom. Oh, right, yeah. Yeah, he wears a tall, pointed hat and stuff like that and clicks his heels and says, he-hee, my ginger muffins are ready. He's always eating little bits of the toadstool. That's the chomping part.

That's the chomping part. That's the chom. Nome chomp ski. Yeah, exactly. See, he also likes to ski. Dan, you were going to say something stupid? Because it can't be any super than we were already saying. Thanks for bringing that home, Elliot.

You should want to, like, say some words and then that's a podcast, I guess. No, it's true. What I was going to say had just a minimum level of content in it. And that was that I don't think you mentioned, too, that these memes, then the AI things that are mashed up, I guess, then get a vaguely Italian-sounding name. And I was explaining this to our friends who we were also seeing here in L.A., who are Italian, and they're like, huh, I think I'm actually a little insulted by this. I'm like, you're insulted by Chippanzini banana nini? Yeah, it is a little, I mean, yeah, it's always like, oh, here's, here's blueberryini optopini. It's a blueberry octopus.

And it's like, if I was Italian, I would be a little, a little insulted by it. You know, yeah, but that's what he, but Dan was very kindly, uh, my younger son would say, look up this one. And Dan would look at a picture and then draw it and then my son would color it. And it was very sweet to see them playing together, these two little boys, you know, scraping their knees, catching fireflies. Oh, you'll be careful out there. Do you, and Elliot, this, for you and Jesse, uh, you know, you have kids.

Do they like this is a, you know, I know, I know skibbitty toilet, that's something. Yeah. Do they know or have any, like, any awareness of, like, what maybe we would think of as classic memes, like a distracted girlfriend, something like that? No, I've been trying to teach him, but he's not interested in. I mean, like, is distracted girlfriend? Like image macro memes? Yeah. Or like the anime guy with the butterfly.

Or are those? I don't know about, I don't know about you, Jesse, but my older son, I don't know. At this point, he lives in a different kind of media world with his. Actually, you know what? I bet he doesn't. He and his friends mostly talk about sports. but my younger son I don't think he's interested in that stuff he likes the memes where there's like an animal or a character

like that's supposed to be something rather than a meme that's communicating like an idea through a form that is reused and reinterpreted so so he'll that when he meets distracted girlfriend or uh you know Arthur's Fist yeah exactly yeah Drake likes one thing but doesn't like another thing that's true Drake does sometimes not like the first thing

though but he likes that second thing These are classic memes. They never got me better than when we were kids, right fellas? When you were kids? When I was 36. My 11-year-old has like a group of friends

with whom she plays video games and they do very classic tween things. They will, they play horror games together and get scared together. while on a group chat, like a voice chat. And they have like a constant stream of messages that I think involve some classic image macro type memes.

But what's interesting is it like, when you're 11, you can't quite generate a coherent version of that. So it's like it all has a little bit of a brain rot element simply because they're trying to make something that makes sense but can't quite meet that standard. Yeah, it's like when you kind of understand the cadence of a joke when you're a kid and you kind of try and tell a joke. But yeah, right, that math doesn't hit you yet. Yeah, and my youngest, I think, just has a rotted brain. You should have that looked at.

Well, shouldn't have left it out in the sun. Yeah. Yeah. Dan, we, this isn't our only time hanging out this week. We hung out last night. You're revealing so many secrets. That's right. We hung out.

I had a glass of wine. Someone will be able to stalk Dan if they go back in time. Yeah, Dan's younger self will be able to close the loop. And I always enjoy like when you and Audrey come to L.A. Because I like hearing about what you do because it's always really fun. I feel like you guys are good L.A. tourists. Oh, thank you. Any highlights from this trip so far?

You know, we hit all the important cultural things, like going to a studio tour, going to the Academy Museum, going to Jumbo's Clown Room, like, all of the L.A. things you've got to do. Jumbo's Clown Room is, like, in the Los Angeles, Jumbo's Clown Room, first of all, how would you describe what Jumbo's Clown Room is? It's like a strip club that's not a strip club because no one's getting... Oh, what is Zen Cohen? What is the strip club? Not a strip club. Tell us. The women dancing are getting down to, you know, small clothes.

But there's no... Yeah, like a t-shirt you're not supposed to put in the dryer. Lilipusian items that still cover the bits and pieces that normally are the focus of a strip club. And they do pull dance. But because of that small but significant change, like it feels a lot less creepy. Like, you know, we were there with our, with our Italian couple friend who were insulted by Italian brain rot and felt like we're just like, oh, we're at a fun bar where there's also like athletic dancing going on. It was good. In the, in the Los Angeles subreddit, it's a meme that will happen is that almost any question.

will be answered by someone just posting the letter j then someone replying to that with the letter you until jumbos clown room is spelled out uh like it really doesn't matter what the question is people will just answer jumbos clown room interesting um like it can be like oh what's the number to call for a large item trash pickup people will be like j to m b what if the question was what's a small clown room. Oh, it's a good question. I mean, the actual clown room is pretty small. It's a, it's like kind of a one room bar. Jumbo's the name of the owner. Oh, really? Yeah. There's nothing to do with the size of the bar. It's legal for elephants to own bars in Los Angeles,

as long as they close by two. Nothing in the rulebook that says they can't. He won it in a poker game. But that's why they can't be full nude. It's because an elephant owns it. You have to keep your tops on. Even, like literally, even if a Dramidary owned it, they could be showing snaps. Yeah, sure. Fine.

It all has to do with the legal definition of must, the elephant mating period. That's a good point. Yeah. But it wasn't all like so hedonistic. We went to the Huntington Gardens today, which was gorgeous. That's a pretty horny botanical garden, though. As birds and bees. As botanical gardens go, I guess.

What studio tour did you go on? We went on the Warner Brothers tour, but we went on the TCM-branded version of it. I want to do that one, the classic movie one. I got to say, I didn't notice much difference other than... Yeah, there was a lot of stuff about Paul Blart, right? They're like, I don't know. At the beginning, we did watch a seven-minute video that featured a lot of Ben Mankowitz, and that was the main TCM quality of it.

How much of them did it feature? well an elephant owns the studio tour so you can't show snatch I will say the WB tour is one of the better of the studio tour things partly because they have real stuff to show but I've been on it a couple times the last time I was on it was great but one time I went on it and they talked about friends and they talked about like other current TV shows and they'd be like anyway so that building over there

that's where they shot you know pretty little liars or whatever you may remember from season da da da da da da da also John minute's last movie, the shoot is there. Moving on. I'd be like, wait, wait, let's like you're like

in the town square where the music man was shot and they're like, yeah, some other movies were shot here too. And I'm like, mention the famous old movies. But the season finale of Chuck.

There was a lot of old movie mentioned, but there was definitely still a lot of mention of friends throughout the entire thing, even though it was a TCM-1. I did not realize what a live piece of media friends still is until I took that tour. They're like,

now you can take, your picture at Central Perrick, and people were like, we can, what? Hold on. We get frolic in the fountain. But also the depressing thing about it was, and the tour guide was refreshingly upfront about this, was saying, like, oh, any sort of new thing that you see that looks expensive.

Yeah, it wasn't shot here because we can't afford to do it that way anymore. Like, it's too expensive to shoot in Hollywood. So, like, that's why you can. tour the back lots and everything else is in Canada or Atlanta or Croatia or something. Just for folks who don't work in show business, what they mean by it being too expensive to shoot things in Los Angeles now is specifically that in most other places, the state government refunds the entire budget of the production plus 25%. Yes, there's an unfair playing field is more of what's the truth of. I was just saying my Warner Brothers tour experience was better than my Universal Studios Tour Experience

where I kept nudging my older son and saying should I go correct the tour guide about that? And he was like, Dad, stop it, stop because the tour guide kept getting things wrong. It was really getting me. I was getting so mad. My, you know, I know what you mean, Eddie. I know what you mean, Elliot.

Eddie is my tour guide name. I know what you mean, Eddie. I know what you meet, Ellie. I also had kind of... I'm sorry to correct you, but his name is Ellie. I know I'm just going to do like a Should I finish it up? Yeah, go for you.

Okay. It's fine. It's a six or a seven. You know, Elliot, my Universal Studios tour experience was a little lackluster, too. Jaws attacked the tram. What? And then Dominic Torretto and his gang of street racers endangered our lives trying to catch Shaw. I have, okay, so the better of that was I thought the things happening were real.

As someone who also took that tour, I love that bit. Thank you, Dan. Can I say... I think Stephen was laughing at it, too. I've never been on the studio tours, and I am sincerely curious, to what extent is it an actual tour of the studio? Which one? Either of them. I mean, the Warner Bros. Story, you're walking around the sets that they have.

It's the standing street sets. You're looking at, at one point you go, you're going, like, very quickly through where some of the, like, the wood shops are and things like that. So you really see, like, where the stuff is that they would be making stuff. It was not too expensive to make things. But then there's also, like, now here's the building where you look at a room with all the betmobiles in it. You know, here's a collection of, you know, Justice League costumes. And that's more of a gallery exhibit. But you do get to see where they shot stuff.

Yeah, I stood where Hoyt Axton walked down the street to, you know, go into a small Chinatown shop and get himself a Magwai. Wow, Hoyt. Yeah. One time I visited the Conan O'Brien show when our friend Jimmy Pardo was still working on it, Lori Kilmartin was working on it.

And Brian Stack, the great Brian Stack, was nice enough to show me around. But the tour was like, we went to, you know, we went to one of the famous street sets that was down the street from where they shot Conan. And, like, you know, a small town square that you've seen in a thousand movies, you realize as soon as you step into it. And, like, walked past, you know, the kind of, like, New York exteriors where they shot all the exteriors for Seinfeld or whatever. And then he just pointed over there and he says, over there, they shoot Big Bang Theory.

You can tell because all the cars parked outside are Tesla's. I will stick up for the informational content of the universe. Universal Studios tour. It obviously is maybe more known for like Jaws Attack and the 3D King Kong thing. I would say the Fast and Furious thing, but I think they took that out. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. But I do think... Maybe it was too fast. Yeah, I mean, also... Worth too furious? Yeah, worth considering that it was also too furious. I guess also enough of the people taking the tour saved the thing that they were supposed

to save or whatever. Yeah, they found a tour that finally did help them. Did the thing. I think, I mean, they are, they were, the last time as at Universal Studios, they were about to shut down the animal actors stage show, which had been going out for about 40 years. It was the last day of that. And I think they were putting in a fast and furious roller coasters. So maybe they decided that it had been promoted to its own line.

So you actually got to see them euthanize the animal actors. Because they cooked them and served them to the final audience. They say, if you say, if you say, you can watch them be put to sleep and you do. get to taste them. We do have enough to go around for everybody. And it was, I got to sample a couple different, very talented animal actors. They're, yeah, yeah, the meat was so tender from the years of standing on tippy toes pretending that they could be ballerinas, you know? Right. Which is what they do. We saw one time, I don't, I feel like maybe you were with me, Jordan, but maybe it was, maybe it was just Teresa, but our friend Al Madrigal put on a comedy show.

that had a dog act in the middle of it. Oh, yeah, no, I was not there for that. Oh, this dog act, man, this dog act, like the calling card of this dog act was that the guy who trained the dogs was the guy who trained Eddie from Frazier. Oh, wow. And I was like, this is going to be terrible. I don't want to watch a dog act in the middle of a comedy show that has Maria Bamford and now Madrigal and shit on it.

And then this dog act was way better than the greatest comedian of all time, Maria Bamford. Like, it was the best thing I've ever seen in my life. I've thought about it every day since. Because Jesse, here's what you've got to think. It's not, I can't believe there's a dog act in the show. It's like, how good must this dog act be? If it's sharing the stage with Maria Bamford, this must be the greatest dog act. Like, if when you go to a restaurant and you see some kind of innards on the menu, you're like, this is going to be the best dish in the restaurant.

Because the guy who makes this food wants to put this on here. Like, he really wants to make this, you know. So I guess what I'm saying is don't think about how those dogs probably got, you know, hit really hard. Okay. No, they did it. They were all rescission. That was part of it. They were all rescue dogs, and they all got positive reinforcement.

And also, the trainer's daughter was there, and she was hot. How did they taste? Okay. Not as sweet as you would think, given their ballerina costumes. I love how every now and then this turns into a kind of AM shock-shock show just for like a word or a phrase. I never know when it's going to happen. Anyway, yaboes. Flush sound, flush sound, flush sound.

So anyway, Noam Chomsky. So should we take a break for traffic and weather? Yeah. We are on the twos right now, so we probably should. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Boy Detective.

Jordan, you know who I thank every day? Who? My lucky stars. And you know who my lucky stars are? Who are they? The members of Maximum Fun. I look up in the sky and blow them little kisses. Thank you for joining Maximum Fun at MaximumFund.org.

You are the supporters of Jordan Jesse Go. Yeah. But you know what? There were a few other celestial bodies in the sky, Jordan. Ooh, tell me about these twinklers. One of them is our friends at Factor. Yeah. Jesse, it's fall.

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Yeah. I actually just, just yesterday, I ate one of the two and a half. Because they gave us some choices. They sure did. What strength do you want? I said, I'm going to try one of the little ones. There's one that have two and a half milligrams of THC and more of your CBDs and other compounds. And I ate one of those yesterday.

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JJGo for 40% off. Do not miss their best deal of the year. Thanks to everybody who came out to our live show here in Los Angeles. We had a great time. If you missed the live Bullseye show, that I have been doing for the 25th anniversary of Bullseye, you can check them out on the Bullseye YouTube page. So if you like Roy Wood Jr. and Jason Manzuchus and Adam Scott and Boots Riley and Tony Shaloo and all these wonderful people and performers that have been on these shows, go subscribe to the Bullseye YouTube channel. I think you are going to find something you like.

I also want to say, Jordan, if folks are out there, they're looking for a holiday gift for someone they love, somebody that's tough to buy for. Check out my store to put this on shop. Oh, yeah. Vintage and antique items, not just clothes, although we have a lot of clothes these days, but not just clothes, but also gift and decor and jewelry items for men and women all online and put this on shop.com. It is beautiful, special things for someone that you like.

And also, I think we still have some pro set music cards left. Amazing. Yeah. So if you're wondering, if you want to combine maybe like some, tax go silver with some of the possibility of pulling apollo abdul oh boy that's a Christmas right there yeah put this on shop.com it's the place to go let's get back to the show la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la it's Detective.

Dan Richest Duck McCoy. Elliot Kalin, horrible thing from beyond the stars. Wow. We got the richest duck and the horrible thing from beyond the stars. How do we keep it? How do we keep the relationship working?

I don't know, but maybe it's the sex. Yeah, it's probably the sex. I mean, and keeping 3,000 miles between you on a rotating basis. Keeps up hot. Keeps it hot. Do a Zoom call. where I erotically unbuckle my spats. Yeah, yeah, just the spats, though.

How'd you get so rich, Dan? Well, mostly, you know, stealing stuff from other cultures. Oh, okay, okay. Got it. Yeah. I read some of those. They got to protect their stuff. Sorry.

I tried to get my children to read those Donald Ducks with me. You know the Donald Duck family? Yeah, sure. You know these guys? I'm familiar with the Ducks. Yeah. I could probably draw you a family tree of them, actually. The Duckberg Ducks?

Yeah. And none of my children would read them with me. No. I'm like, I'm kind of into these. Yeah. Elliot is not as into the Duck comics. We've talked about this on the Flop House. The Duck Comics are not quite exciting enough for me as adventure comics and not quite

funny enough for me as comedy comics. Well, they're almost not funny at all. Yeah, there's very little humor. These are like a light adventure. comics from the 70s 50s mostly yeah but these are and earlier a few of them like this is the carl barks stuff especially right yeah i have had to come to terms though with the fact that like two of my great heroes of childhood uh uncle scrooge mcduck and indiana jones are tomb raiders who steal stuff from other cultures i've got some bad news for you about laura croft those jugs were fake everything else was great but them jobos

Dan it was a different time when the world was divided into people and people like objects and those people like objects had expensive valuable things that the people wanted so you know Yeah a different time Elliot certainly very different than today's time

I mean, the pendulum swings a little bit, yeah. Dan, there's no such thing as moral treasure baths. Oh. Yeah. Well, as I say to my kids all time, I go, no one becomes a billionaire without hurting somebody. And you know that Uncle Scrooge hurt a lot of people to get that money, a lot of people. And, I mean, he hurt himself when he jumped into those coins. They didn't part easily. No.

And here's a thing. There's a lot of crowns in there. Yeah. People talk about him jumping into coins. You look at it, it's a lot of crowns. It's a lot of crowns. Pointy diamonds. Think about jumping onto a bunch of crowns. That's not fun either.

There's a lot of crowns in there, Jordan. There's a lot of crowds. I'm trying to replace, I got to get his son. I'm tired as I got to get a son. And I'm trying to make, that's a lot of crown. You're like, if I say it with the same intonation, maybe Jesse won't notice that I've replaced it. He'll think it's the same. catchphrase. Right, exactly.

It's about delivery. It's not about content. Dan, are you... So, Elliot mentioned he would read those comics with his kids. Dan, do you read those with... Yeah, read them to my cats, but two cats. Do you have a son that you read those with? Oh, boy.

Try it. Try it on precise. You can have it if you want to. I got to get a son. I'm pretty good. That was pretty good. Yeah. Are you going to do anything about it? I'm working on it That says my stamp of approval Yeah

Oh, pretty good He put his own He put his own jeze on it too I do have to say This is like the period When Gallagher approved of Gallagher too Right I am Gallagher

A lot of my enjoyment of recent Jordan Jesse Go episodes Has been sort of trying to parse out Like how annoyed is Jordan That he's being piqued into doing this? I'm not for I'm not I'll alleviate I'm not actually annoyed

I like doing it, and it's fun, and, like, when I'm annoyed, when I play annoyed, you know, Jesse setting up the calls being fake or I like, I like that. It's fun for me, so don't, if you're worried out there. You like when I talk about the bunny calendar. Well, I don't want to do that. Let's not go crazy. I do like to do the show, and it's fun, and sometimes I'm acting annoyed. It's, I'm just having fun, and it's like a little bit. It's not like on the flop house

When they act annoyed with Dan I've worked on emotional regulation a lot in my last few years You know, I think I'm finally equipped to do a podcast with Stuart and Elliot After all these years Ironically, it was a better podcast, I think, when you couldn't handle it Yeah Well, I'm not going to kill myself for art No, I don't think you should

Very few people should. And you know, at the end of the day, not that great either way. Yeah. You know, who's complaining? It's a B-plus. It's all right, but speaking of running bits, do you want to listen to some calls? Yeah, let's take a momentous occasion call. If you have a momentous occasion, give us a call 206-984-Fund or just send us a voice memo at J.JGO at maximum fun.org.

Here's an example of same. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I guess this would be momentous if it was Christella. Alonzo earlier today while I was working at work I was listening to one of the episodes with Cristella Alonzo. Can you pause this for a second, Stephen?

Does this guy's blinker on? No. I think he's I think he's using a metronome. So he's teaching a piano lesson and making a right turn. I don't care how good of a recording you're trying to make on your voice memos to send it to JJ Go on Maximumfund.org. You don't need a

click track. Just use a live drummer. Let the music breathe, you know. And in that, Jesse mentions that he saw a murdered-out Tesla's cyber truck with the license plate veneers. I happen to be it behind right now. A murdered-out G-wagon that has the license plate fat loss. I thought that was kind of serendipitous. maybe we could make a

segment called serendipitous occasions all right I love you guys it does make this call easier to dance too I'll give us that

I don't know it tends to remind me of the seconds ticking down until death which I love in my calls how long does this light this guy's at

geez now he said Gwagon I'm afraid I don't know what a Gwagon is that kind of like Mercedes It's the Mercedes SUV that sort of looks like a military vehicle. Okay.

You know, the one I'm talking about, sort of like has like creases on the side and it's really square. Missiles on the top, yeah. It's got a butt on the back and one on the front. Okay. Yeah, I can picture it. Sure. What else about this weird car? What other weird things are in the car?

Yeah, if you're out, look, if you're a Jordan, Jesse, listener and you're out there and you see a vanity plate on a murdered out vehicle that has cosmetic surgery or other medical cosmetic intervention custom license plates give us a call 206-984 for fun but seriously seriously if they haven't even bothered to get like the black vanity plates or to tint their windows don't bother calling us I don't want to, I don't care if the car's all black. If you can see through the windows, it's not murdered out. I don't care if the license plate says H-A-R plugs.

Dan, you're a New Yorker who doesn't drive a lot, but now you're in L.A., you're scooting all over the freeways. That's true. This is big news. My wife just got her driver's license, you know, fairly late in life for a person. I mean, you know, she's not, she's not elderly. She's still very vibrant. You guys live in an adult, active adult community. Yeah.

I'm not a passive adult community. As a full-blown adult, she finally got her driver's license. And I used to drive, you know, quite a lot when I lived in the Midwest, but I've lived in New York City for 20 years. I've taken buses and subways basically everywhere. I've done... Car services. Dan just rides in our car service. Yep.

Just throwing money around. I've done almost no driving. And on this trip, I've done a lot of driving, including some freeway driving. And it was terrifying, but exhilarating. What kind of rental car you're rocking? It is a, it is a car of a brand that I'm so unfamiliar with that the title has not stuck in my. I mean, that's a rental car for you that. Yeah.

It's like a Mitsubishi fish. I got some shows coming up Bullseye 25th anniversary shows Maximumfund.org slash events if you're in Los Angeles, New York, or the Santa Cruz area, the Monterey Bay Area. And I had to rent a car at the San Jose airport

for this upcoming Santa Cruz trip. And all the cars were about the same amount, like the compact and the standard and the full size were all about the same amount. And then I saw that for an extra five bucks, I could get the premium. And I'm like, well, I've got to drive my colleague. Richard, I want to impress him. I wanted to be comfortable.

I'm going to upgrade to the premium. Premium was a Nissan. I was like, no offense to Nissan's. But like, right. Nissan or equivalent. Yeah. I was saying to Audrey, though, when we were driving, that, like, I felt like a full adult while driving. in a way that, like, I'm like, has this been what I've been missing for the past 20 years?

Like, is this why I feel just like a child man? Exactly. I feel competent all of a sudden, now that I'm driving, it's very weird. It's a wonderful feeling. What's it been like for your wife, Audrey, who just learned to drive? Has she been behind the wheel in Los Angeles? It's, I mean, she, I think, really loves doing it. She is very insistent that I, you know, I'm navigating.

and I tell her, like, everything that I see on the GPS way far in advance and then several more times as we are going. Yeah. But in a weird way, I feel like... Let me know where there's a raising canes. I might want to pull off and get chicken fingers at raising canes. But again, I think it's been, like, good for the relationship. That's my Audrey impression, by the way.

Yeah, he's screaming about chicken fingers. Audrey's great. But it's like, it's not like we have a bad relationship otherwise, but it's like, Oh, we are really working as a team right now. This is a team building exercise. And it's good. That's something that my wife and I cannot do. Really?

My wife and I have a close to conflict-free relationship. We've been together since we were 17 years old, very much in love. Like, we are just not at loggerheads about almost anything. My wife is like kind and patient, and I'm, you know. Trying your best. Yeah. Yeah. I do okay.

Yeah. But if I am driving and my wife is giving directions, catastrophe. True catastrophe. Because my wife can't read a map. And my wife can get anywhere from memory. So, like, if we drive somewhere, she can get back without, looking at a map or anything like just from her inside her mind a magic trick i can't remember what the next turn i'm supposed to do is like if she says turn right i'm like tell me three times like

tell me in advance tell me when we're almost there and tell me when i'm supposed to do it because i will disappear from my mind like if i don't have the little navigating screen in front of me to like check when i've already forgotten it three seconds after i checked last time uh i am fucked and so when my wife like has the map unfurled and is like turning it in circles like a 1960 sitcom and I'm like getting more and more anxious just absolute catastrophe so I'm really happy that this is bringing you and your wife together Dan yeah I think so we have it we have a similar routine where if I'm driving and my wife is in the passenger seat I will put I'll wrap kind of like a like a necktie around my head to cover my eyes and then what I do is I take kind of these sponge pads and I strap those around to each ear and then I'll even put ear plugs in my nose and then I'll have one hand on the wheel and my other hand my wife will hold and she'll just kind of direct me by pressing her thumb on my palm in the direction that I need to go. And I know by the amount of pressure she puts how if I need to slow down because there's another car in front of me and we've only killed

a couple thousand people. It's a sort of a mentalist act. Yes, yes. This all makes sense and is worth the trip. Yes, this juice is delicious. Truly, it was worth the squeeze. Dan, you got XM Satellite radio on that rental car? Mostly, we have

Audrey's Pandora Station. Okay. Yeah. Well, check out 80s on 8s. Okay, I will. I had to bail from Pandora because it didn't matter where I started. It always ended up

wanting me to listen to George Benson. it's just like no matter what I plugged into Pandora it was just like by the end of it they're like you want to listen to some light fusion right yeah and whenever I turn it on all of the world's evil flies out so that's a problem too yeah we're supposed to open it yeah you're supposed to press the button on the outside

they don't open Pandora it is funny that they named the company after a thing that had to bad stuff came out yeah they're like you know what our music we're going to bring you the best music It's actually the worst. Every time I open Pandora, I have to mine from Unobtainium. I mean, I don't quite say that right, but you guys kind of get what I was going for. Yeah, we get.

This juice is good. Yeah, some more juice. Unoptanium. I stopped using Pandora years ago when I think I put in a, I made, I was trying to make like a Talking Head style channel and started playing Salisbury Hill by Peter Gabriel. And I said, you don't know me and you don't know what I like. I'll shut it down. That's my purse.

I don't know you. Stephen, we got another call in there? Pandora, not incorrect about the sort of like ultimate landing place of algorithmic media taste projections. Definitely did end up being one of those famous boxes. Thank you. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and lovely guest. This is Mark from Louisiana, calling in with a momentous occasion. I had to travel last week and was cutting my plane flight a bit close.

I hadn't eaten anything all day, and it was getting to be late in the afternoon. So I ran to my gate. I found a burger place right next to it. I just want to say to Mark, first of all, Mark, this is an extraordinary performance of this call. You're doing incredible work. I do feel like from the level of clarity of vision and speech, and generally, general geniality that at the end of this, I'm going to have to hear the good news. If there's no Christ content in this.

I mean, I feel kind of insulted as a podcaster who's been podcasting for 18 years and cannot speak with this level of clarity. I had a few minutes, sat down, and when my food came, I ate it in a big hurry before getting on the plane. While I was sitting there and other people were boarding, a guy going by saw me and said, yo man you smash that burger i was there that was amazing well it's good to be recognized for doing something well get him get him get him that's what an incredible what an incredible experience that must have been for mark god all the burgers i've smashed in in my life never once has someone recognized me no that's the kind of positivity that i think really would just make the rest of my

day. Yeah. This is why, you know, if Jimmy Kimmel had been able to generate that kind of positivity Right. Yes. Oh, I'd look to smash a burger right now. That'd be nice, and I'd like to be, I'd just like to be told I'm doing good at something. Ironically,

it was a thick sort of pub style burger. Right. Not one of those flatters. Right, not a smash burgers. Yeah. So. Fucking destroyed it, though. Life's funny like that. Oh, that's a lot of crowds. What?

Do you guys have a food? Do you guys have a food? Do you guys have a food that you eat in an airport? I always like, here's the thing. Like, I always think like, oh, maybe there's something. Right. Like, there's always the dream that there's going to be something. And then ultimately what happens is no matter how long I have before I have to board the plane,

I am so scared of, you know, not being there when I need to board the plane that I get a terrible sandwich on a baguette from like a Hudson News. Oh, and they're so bad. There's always one ingredient too much on the sandwiches, I feel like. Right. One too many. I feel like I, my move now is to like just get that snack box to maintain. You know, the snack box on the plane that has almonds.

cheese, maybe a little meat snack. But sometimes they're out of that box. Yeah, and then you're fucked. Then you're absolutely fucked. Yeah, and that's a risk. Yeah, I think for me, I would'm like, I'm going to have this and just wait till I can have a real meal. Because, yeah, those airport meals are so bad. I think if I need

to, I am now fine with the like warmed up Starbucks or similar breakfast sandwich as like a functional like hunger getting rid of her protein delivery system.

I've learned to be like kind of fine with those and for certain chains maybe even a little excited about it. When I'm at an airport or if like when I tour with Hodgman we're often in like an SUV like a rented SUV driving you know like it would be like a three

four hour drive. Look at G wagon. Like we get murder out of Gwagon and it says leg lengthening surgery cat implant yeah and like my my strong preference

is like I want to be the guy who is in there on my phone on Google Maps and Yelp finding the like local food that is good right like I really want I'm like I'm not going to be in North Carolina again sometime soon I want to eat

some of the you know mustard barbecue I don't know maybe that's from South Carolina I apologize But you know what I mean? Like I want to eat the thing that I can get there that's good and a nice place. But sometimes it's a four-hour drive or a five-hour drive instead of a two-hour drive or a three-hour drive. And then you're like, are we going to make it to sound check? Oh, the fuck, we got to do it.

And in that case, I don't really eat in my day-to-day life fast food ever, like other than tacos and like maybe like every other month and in and out. but I will fucking destroy chicken mcnuggets in that situation like chicken mcnuggets are so consistently fine like nothing could possibly be more consistently acceptable and unremarkable than chicken mcnuggets yeah exactly and like I'm so they do job one yeah I do it well yeah I live my life in terror of becoming hungry because it's like my number one migraine triggers so like if I'm if if I'm at a fucking travel plaza in new jersey uh i will just spot and i don't like when i say chicken mc nuggets the entire genre okay a burger king chicken french fries or whatever they're called breaded chicken tender or fried a compressed chicken product yeah it's chicken scraps with breading it push together into a mush and then bread it around it but i agree i'll eat that Any time of day, any day the week, any week of the month, every month of the year, every year of the decade, every decade of century, every century, the millennium, any millennium of the Eon, I'll do it, you know? So, ride me down in the Sinozoic era, I'm already here, I'll do it.

Put me in the Mesozoic era, get me those chicken nuggets. Put me in the paleozoic era, yeah, give me a chicken nugget. Chickens haven't been evolved yet? I'll still have one, yeah, sure. Elliot, have you tasted this juice? This is incredible. Squeeze it right in my mouth. Well, Elliot squeezes so hard, though, that it turns into sort of juice diamond.

I feel like. As for me, when I'm at the airport, I go into every, I go into every restaurant. I say, how are your muscles? Are they fresh? Elliot,

do they come with bread? Elliot, is there any like Florida stuff you're going to get while you're there? What's the Florida thing? That's sweet, sweet manatee. I mean,

mostly, mostly I think it's spending time around older people who are drinking a lot. I feel like it's the, Florida thing I'm getting the most. But I don't think there's like a Florida cuisine or anything. It's any dinner that you eat at 515. Yeah.

Yeah. My younger son has demanded that I bring home a stuff, an alligator stuffy. So I'll do that. That's a Florida thing. Okay. But yeah, otherwise, we're not in like a, we're in the part of Florida that has no distinct regional flavor. Right.

So, and most of the people I'm meeting are transplants from the tri-state area. So I'm not, I'm not getting the authentic Florida. Right. Because I have only ever, my parents for many years were going to the Keys during the winter. So I've been to the Florida Keys several times. I know what you have there is, you know, stuff that would be at like a Jimmy Buffett-Margariterville, but like the good version of that, like what they're trying to do. A James Buffett, Margarita. And also, it's 5 o'clock there right now, if I'm not mistaken.

always Dan I When I was asking you last night About the food stuff you've done when you're in L.A You went to a A thing I've been wanting to go to Which is a Let me know if I'm getting any of this wrong

A Korean fried chicken place Owned by a guy who used to direct Softcore porn movies I don't know if they were like I don't know if he would define them as softcore porn movies What are some titles I think he only did two And so the same

Discrete obsessions They've come up Several times So I will give them They're due Seducing seductions I'll give my friends their due With their proper names

Shout out to Chris and Sarah This is the same friends We went to Jumbo's Clown Room with Same night Look anytime we can talk about Chris and Sarah On this show I love it Is this the same night?

Is this like one night out? This is one night full of chicken and jumbo clowns. But they went to this place and the director gave them this movie, like at the end of the meal, like a copy of the movie on DVD. And they went home. They're film people. They went home. They're like, oh, let's see what this movie is. And it was very sexual.

There was like a scene of like people having sex on the back of a horse. that was riding through the and Sarah was like and the horse was beautiful it was like this beautiful white horse that they're having I mean let's just take them

during this high difficulty level very high difficulty level yeah for you that's true a similar thing happened to me when I went to Michael Baye salad bar

so we had this chicken we had this delicious chicken that Elliot would not have liked because it was covered in fruit as well no thank you and then

wait hold on what the chicken was covered in So it was like essentially, you know, Korean chicken tenders. Yeah. But then there was also like slices of mango. There's slices of peach.

There was some blueberries, some raspberries. I want to get this so bad. And very fresh fruit. Like it was for someone who is not a fruit hater, unlike Elliot, it would be delicious. Right. We call ourselves. Yeah. But then at the end of the night, Chris and Sarah were like, do you have a copy of your movies?

Like we want Dan and Audrey to have the movie. and he got so excited. He's like, did you watch it? And he was very good. We watched it. We liked it very much. And he got so excited that they actually watched the DVD that had been pressed into their hands. And so now we have another movie.

We got to experience the magic. So you have the movie and you've signed it for horseback. Yeah. There was a, when I went on the Jonathan Colton Cruise in Florida, when we got back, we had like the day in Florida. Florida to do stuff before our airplane. And I was like looking through the things to do. And it occurs to me, the thing that I wanted to do and didn't end up getting to do is the thing that would be Elliot's worst nightmare, which is they have... You're in the bathroom and you're trying to pee, but you can't find an angle where people can't see you. Yeah. And the problem is, my dick's so big. You can see it from any angle.

Yeah. See it from the space station. Yeah. I, in Florida, they have these, like, tourist destinations that are farms, but they're farms for trees of exotic tropical fruits. So, like, you go to a place and they have, like, a durian tree and, like, you know, both colors of dragon fruit tree and all this different stuff. And, like, to me, I'm like, yes, bring me to the place with six kinds of mango, but it hadn't occurred to me that my friend

Elliot Kalin, who's in Florida right now, is a man who three different times has told me the story of how they put fruit sauce on his chocolate moose at Yankee Stadium. It was, this is, this, no, it was I don't like it when they put fruit sauce on

chocolate things. This was at Yankee Stadium. It was a chocolate pudding. He did not mention in the menu that was filled with berries. So it was me digging berries out, fishing the mountain and watching the level of the chocolate pudding sink dramatically as the berries were as your heart sink along with it classic classic story am i right oh boy no boy listen you guys want to dig some berries out of pudding and then come back for a little bit more

we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go la la la la wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like that's hard to sell in a promo like this so we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar billy jolt to tell you about some of the topics we've covered take it away real Billy Joel. Teddy Rock's been on Lake Sign, Whorleson Shire of Circle Time, Sega Dreamcast, he's a salad tower of annoy.

Keep me up, eight time capsules, Wayne's World Cheese Bulls, Wallace Stevens' stonkey gone, fun-size almond toy. They didn't start the podcast, except that's not true, they didn't 22. They didn't start the podcast.

No, they actually did. That was in fact of him. Listen to Wonderful every Wednesday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, Real Billy Joel. No problem, Griffin. What's more action-packed than prestige television? With more continuity than comic books?

And more reality than reality television? It's professional wrestling. And to better understand wrestling is the ultimate form of entertainment, you need the Tights and Fights Podcast This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love a lack of toxic masculinity

and just the right amount of butts, cats and spandex listen to Tights and Fights every Saturday on Maximum Fun It's Jordan Jesse Goh I'm Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris

Boy Detective Dan, world's richest duck, McCoy. Elliot Kalin, the horrible thing from beyond the stars. It's not that horrible. I noticed something interesting. Jordan and I spent the day tabling at L.A. Comic-Con. Thank you for the invitation, Jordan. No problem, Jesse.

What are you going to do with the thousands of dollars you get? I made almost $100 gross, Jordan. Almost $100 gross. More than $50 gross. Well, yeah, but that's a story for another day. Yeah, so Jordan is in the midst of a three-day weekend at L.A. Comic-Con. So I spent Friday with him at the table, and our friend Eliza is going to be there on Saturday, and our friend Rob Cutner is going to be there on Sunday of this weekend.

It's a very, very cool plan that Jordan came up with. Rob Turner's going to be there? Oh, that's great. I know. Great guy. Always good to see Rob. I mean, Eliza's great, too, Elliot. but whatever.

No, I worked with Rob for years, so that's why I'm, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. But I'm not a fan of Eliza. Not a fan of Eliza. Maybe you should try working with her for years. Yeah, that would be bad. That's the only reason I like people is if I've worked with him.

Yeah, sure. I worked with Eliza a lot. She's great. Then how do you explain me, Elliot? That's true. I did work with you, but it was not a pleasant experience. It's been literal decades since I've had a job. I don't even remember what it's like.

so Jordan has two had two lanyards to get in and I gave Jordan my lanyard on the way out because I didn't want to forget it Jordan currently wearing two exhibitor lanyards

Thank you for bringing this up Give to the Magi I thought about it Yeah And I'm like I will absolutely fucking lose these if I don't wear them I

I clocked it And I'm like if I Because now I'm not just me That needs to get into Comic Con tomorrow This other person who might be lugging some shit down from another neighborhood. And if I don't have the badge, I'm going to look like a real dork.

Yeah. Or idiot. Yeah. And if you are wearing two badges, you won't look like that door. You look cool. Virile, highly sexual. Ready to fuck a gorilla bank. Yeah, I know.

I know. Wearing the badge in general feels very dorky. And wearing two, when you're not even at the con on a podcast, feels more so. It's one thing, I feel like it's one thing to wear your lanyard badge at a Comic-Con, because at the Comic-Con, they will give you a hard time if you're not wearing it, because they think that you have, like, snuck in. Like, that is, like, an actual issue. But when I am at, like, a professional conference, I'm like, do we all have to wear these, like, outside of our, like, no one is trying to sneak into the public radio program directors conference, you know what I mean? I'm like, I hate wearing a lanyard around. Can I not do that?

Is that okay with you, people? Oh, also, Jordan, I have a TCMWB lanyard. If that will help it any. Oh, I would love it. I'm a lanyard guy. Slide that over to you. A huge lanyard head. Did you make any, like, top priority activities, Dan, for your Los Angeles visit?

Like, was there like a Los Angeles thing that you're like, this is the Los Angeles activity for us? Well, you really wanted to get your picture with Elmo, right, Dan? Elma, but he's stained. Elmo with a lot of stains in his fur. It's the stained Elmo. Yeah, seeing me, which unfortunately I put the guy botched on. I apologize. No, no, no, no.

We saw you. We saw Hallie. You know, it was great. I know, honestly, one of the reasons why this has been such a great L.A. trip is we did not do that. We were like, we've been to L.A. several times. We know we've got good friends out here. We can see our friends when we see them. And then otherwise, like, we'll,

like figure a lot of it out and we will feel chill about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a really great because I, when I saw you last night, I was like, Dan seems like he's having a great time. Well, I also, I mean, this is going to sound like Elliot's going to, Elliot's brain is going to explode because I know how hard Elliot's been working and he looks at me as if I am a man of leisure because I have to make my own, I'm my own boss right now. And your own grandpa. I was going to tell it I was about to say that But

It's about to open my mouth To say it in your own group But the fact that I am my own boss Means that like I am constantly feeling guilty If I'm not doing something that I count As work And I'm like super hard on myself about it And that combined with like the state of the world

Has made me so stressed out So having a week of not thinking about anything Has been great Yeah all you got to do is drive the freeway for the first time in 20 years. Wee! Yeah, just say we, and it's fun. As long as you're saying we, you're having a good time.

There was this period. So I just got back from Mexico City with my family. I was there with my wife, all three of my children, and my wife's parents. And you were there to source guerrilla banks? Yeah, exactly. A lot of the guerrilla banks in Los Angeles have too many eyes. Oh, right, right, yeah. Yeah, you hear that.

Yeah, that's what they say about Los Angeles. It's tough to get a good bagel. Yeah. And the gorilla banks have too many eyes. It's the water. It's the water. That's what removes the eyes from the gorilla banks. Yes, you just say things.

That's the podcast. Jordan, we're podcasting. We're saying things. Don't embarrass me in front of our fellow professional podcasters. They know what podcasts are. So do why. I. So like all three of my children are autistic.

And like their idea of a big adventure day is to like walk to the corner. during a day where the rest of the time they were just in a room playing video games or equivalent, right? Like, my daughter, it would be watching, like, Vincent Price movies, but mostly playing video games. And so, like, we had gone to an entire other country, right? And none of them could leave, but also they all need, like, so much care and support that even with my in-laws there and my wife there, I would feel like an asshole leaving and doing something without them. So, like, to me, I just went to a foreign country and just, like, so desperately. I was like, can I, like, go get groceries?

Like, I'll do anything to do stuff. Because, like, as far as I'm concerned, if I'm going somewhere, I'm fucking chocka block with activities and adventure. Just until I'm angry and hungry and, like, I have to be doing stuff. stuff. There is no world where I am relaxed about what is happening. And it's not that I like make a perfect plan ahead of time or whatever. I'm not that. It's just I have to be doing stuff. I'm like, why are we here not doing stuff when we can be out there doing stuff? So I admire. That's why you have for these guerrillas. I know. I admire your, I admire your relaxed, your relaxed pace and your casual enjoyment. Yeah, well, it's a new thing for me. We'll see how long it lasts. Yeah. And probably

until the trip is over. Yeah. I recommend going to Chupultepec Castle if you get the chance. Okay. It's in Mexico City, so you're going to have to go there

first, but it's really cool. Did you go to that one lake where all the axolotles come from? We didn't go to the axelotel lake, and I couldn't understand why my children would go to the fucking Axelotel lake with me. Because it's hard to say three times fast.

That would be first stop. First stop for us. Where axelotles are from? We also didn't go to the ancient ruins that are there. I was like, I said to my wife, do you want to take a hot air balloon? to the ancient ruins and she's like

honey do you really think the kids will want to do that and I was like oh right no we will have to try and talk them into going to the park next to our Airbnb so Elliot and Dan what kind of dog should have you guys watched on the flock house recently

I mean we did watch a movie called an Easter bunny puppy which did have a dog in it most of the movie yeah Easter bunny puppy yeah you'll have to listen to the episode to find out what that means yeah regular puppy can't have sex with dogs

but Easter bunnies can and then that's what you get It's from the same As long as it closes it at 2 a.m., you know, yeah. It's from the O'Toole behind a talking cat. Oh, okay, okay. Wow. That's a legendary film.

From a brand you trust. And not too long ago, we watched the new world for the worlds, which I think I said it on the podcast late again is the dumbest movie I've ever seen. Wow. I listened to that episode and I, like,

I had seen like a little clip online, like a little viral clip of that movie online. And I thought that it was a parody. Yeah, you think it's like a big movie or a comedy. Yeah. Like I genuinely believe. Like, I'm not saying that I'm like, like, I was like being, I'm not saying that be cute. I actually thought it was like a parody until I heard your episode and learned it was a real movie.

Well. Like I thought maybe it was like a thing. that, you know, like, sometimes they'll be like a commercial that's like six minutes long that runs during the Super Bowl or something. That's what I thought it was. Yeah. Then at the end, Tostitos come out. And save the world, yeah.

Yeah. I know it was a, it was, I think it's well worth listening to the episode. It was, it's a movie that you think has reached a certain level of being dumb. And then it just keeps getting dumber. And you're like, all right, movie. You know what? This is a challenge you set for yourself. And they pull it off, yeah.

Yeah, they were like, all right, Jim Carrey, I think we can make dumbest. A question unanswered until now, but answered. We have, the Flop House. It's one of the funniest podcasts ever, I think. I understand, tell me if I'm wrong, I understand this show is in the podcast Pantyong. I was like, should I bring this up? Yeah, we're in there along with a bull's eye and several other wonderful shows. And, yeah, we're, so if you didn't, you know, if you're not convinced to listen to the show based on all this nonsense, maybe the fact that it's in some book will help.

The Flop House. In Some Book. Most people get their recommendations for podcasts from books. Sure. Especially some books. I am, not Moby-Dick, no. I am pretty sure that Jordan Jesse Go is in that book as well. It should be.

I should be clear. I didn't look. Yeah. I didn't check, I didn't, but I figure it probably is, right? We're not raters. What do you, what do you think we are? Newspapers in Chicago? Yeah.

Aya. Ah, yeah. There's a lot of rounds. Guys, we're doing a podcast. The saying thing. In funny ways, often. Yeah. I'm amazed at how much you've been able to make.

I've got a lot of crowns that work for you. Yeah, thank you. I think we can all agree it's working really well. I mean, there's septors in there, too. There's also a couple of septors. They reminds me, there's a, if you guys have ever listened to the Goon Show, the old BBC radio show that Peter Sellers is on, there's a character in it who is a little kid or a baby,

who just says the phrase, he's fallen in the water, and that's it. And every time that character would show up, the audience would go nuts. I'm like, they just cheer. They're like, yeah, and it's literally just that one line of dialogue. There's nothing else's character. character does and just loved it. So catchphrases, get one, won't you? Well, Dan, Elliot, it's always you are two of our favorite podcasters.

You are two of our favorite guys. And we are always so happy to see you. It's so nice to have you here in real life, Dan. And it's so nice to be so far away from you, Malian. This makes me feel almost as good as if someone complimented me smashing a burger. You still in L.A. for a couple more days, right? You can smash some burgs. The Flop House truly is one of the funniest podcasts of all time.

I listen to every episode, including the minis, even the minis that are profoundly half-assed. I listen to the Maxis. The ones that are almost, they seem to have worked almost too hard on, and the ones that they've clearly not worked hard enough. You can really tell how busy the person who's doing the mini has been that week based on what's going on in the minute. Yeah. Our producer is Stephen Ray Morris. You can find us on social media at Jordan Jesse Go pod on Instagram as well as at Jordan David Morris and at Jesse Thorne, very famous.

You can find us on Blue Sky at Jordan Jesse Go. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse Go. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, thanks to the free design and light in the Attic Records. And we will talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum Fun. A Worker Owned Network of Artist-owned shows.

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