Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Raccoon Dash, with Brian Wecht

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

On today’s episode, we welcome comedian, musician and actual theoretical physicist Brian Wecht to the show to chat with us about a sequel to an all-timer newspaper comic, name some cars, and much more.*See Ninja Sex Party in Europe.*Follow Brian on TikTok and Instagram.*Celebrate 25 years of Bullseye!*Visit bit.ly/coolfight for the new comic series Predator Bloodshed, which drops Feb 25, 2026! *Order Jordan’s Predator comic: Black, White & Blood!* Order Jordan’s new Venom comic!* Donate to Al Otro Lado.* Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!JJGo MERCH ~Get Bronto Dino-Merch!Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On, and use CODE JJGO for 10% off.Follow beloved former producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Follow bedazzled new producer, Jordan Kauwling, on Instagram.Visit Auraframes.com and use Promo Code: GOVisit FactorMeals.com/jjgo50off for 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for one year.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy, Detective. Jordan, you know how I'm in the podcasting Hall of Fame? I do.

And it's nice to be reminded of that constantly. Okay. Well, first of all... I love to be reminded. First of all, we're going to get you in the podcast Hall of them. Oh, don't say it if it ain't true. Don't say it. Oh.

You got to keep working on it, okay? I know. I stay up night wishing on stars. Tis not enough. Podcast Hall of Fame. So when I got into the podcasting Hall of Fame, I could not go to the ceremony. Now, of course, did I want to go to the ceremony? Who doesn't want to meet Dr. Drew?

He's maybe an asshole, not sure. Yes. anyway I couldn't go to the the ceremony few different reasons number one it was in Orlando very funny yeah when you think where do podcasts take place

you know L.A a lot of comedians New York a lot of like media people Austin of course where comedy is legal so you know but Orlando is of course the fourth pillar of podcasting Yeah, well, most talk show podcast these days. I don't know if you knew this are hosted by Mickey Mouse and the Prince from Aladdin.

That's Aladdin, by the way. Sure, yeah. Talk about Aladdin. Okay, so I wasn't able to go to Orlando to go to the dinner. They were having a dinner. They were not willing to pay my way to Orlando, but it was irrelevant because I had a judge John Hodron show in San Francisco the next day, as it turned out. And I was like, as much as I would be willing to consider going to the podcast, Hall of Fame dinner at my own expense.

If I was free, I wasn't going to fly to Orlando, then get up at 4 o'clock in the morning the next morning, and to fly back across the country to San Francisco and hope that I made it in time for a show. So I didn't go, but they were nice enough up two months later to send me a beautiful trophy, which I was very grateful for because, you know, having been a podcaster for two decades, it was the first trophy I had won other than the joke trophy that PRX sent us when we made a public radio

version of WTF that was for most bleep swears in a public radio show ever. Okay. So I had never won anything. I think at one point, our producers won a third place in the Los Angeles Entertainment Journalists Awards or something like that.

But I had never won anything, so I was excited to have this trophy and like put it. What's the trophy look like? It's, thank you for asking. It's like a Lusite, kind of a clear thing that they clearly chose from six options at the trophy shop. Okay. But doesn't say anything particular, you know, it's not a, it's not shaped like a microphone,

I guess is what I'm. No, it says best local businessman Orlando Lions Club. Okay. No, it's, you know, it's not shaped like a microphone. It's not sculptural in any way. It's just sort of a monolith. Right. A Lusite monolith.

And, but, but I was very excited and proud about it. it. I'd love to get a monolith. I don't have a single monolith. I don't have a single monolith. I don't have a son. Jordan, can I recommend banging some bones on some rocks? It worked for those 2001 monkeys. Sure, it did. Okay. So I got this trophy and I gave it like it came just as I was setting up my shed office at home and I had a nice shelf and I just put it right in the middle of the shelf, just square in the middle of the shelf. That's where the trophy goes. And I would like to, sometimes if I'm on a Zoom or whatever, it's in the background,

making me seem competent and professional. And I was very proud of it. Now, for the 25th anniversary of Bullseye, which, by the way, Jordan, you appeared on a recent episode of Bullseye, along with our friend Gene. A couple. I think I did Jordan and Gene talk with Jesse. Oh, and then you did 25 interviews.

Yeah, it's very fun. 25 interviews. Check out all that Bullseye anniversary content, listener. But I did some press for the 25th anniversary. But it wasn't, I didn't actually, the press was not interested in me. But I did browbeat some of our comedy friends into having me on their shows. You're on the media, right? I did on the media.

That's a good. That's a get. That's a booking. Thank you. I browbeat Brooke into that one. Sure, yeah. And hello to all our new on the media listeners who are no doubt tuning into this because of your appearance on On the Media. Are you an elderly person with strong feelings about the narrative bias in news? Enjoy these cum remarks.

So I did, I went on Never Not Funny with Matt and Jimmy. Always a good time. I went on the flop house. Awesome. With our friends, the original peaches. I went on the dough boys with our friends of the dough boys. All these wonderful, hilarious shows. And I did Hollywood Handbook with Hayes and Shawna.

You've done a few Hollywood handbooks. one of the funniest shows. Of course. Absolute genius is. And the premise of the show is that they are asshole know-it-all monsters who know everything about show business. Yeah. Essentially. And I thought, well, it would be funny if I went to the show and brought my trophy and just put it on the table while we were recording the show.

Which I did, and it was funny. Successful. Okay. Congratulations. I brought it in a tote bag and I wrapped it up in towels so that I wouldn't break it because I'll tell you why

my dad won a trophy once an NGO grant program something called the Stockholm Challenge for development NGOs Now is that shaped like a microphone? No, it's shaped like two halves of the earth Yeah, that's pretty impressive

but my dad broke his on the way home from Stockholm Okay He broke it in his luggage So I was like, I got to wrap up this trophy. I'm never going to win another trophy. Do you think they would send you another one? Do you think there's probably a replacement fee? God only knows.

Okay, so. You got to steal one from Theo Vaughn. I wrap it up. I wrap it up in towels. I put it in a tote bag. I put it in the back of my car. Great. Now it's like a week later.

And I'm looking at my Zoom because I'm recording a Judge John Hodgman from home or something. And you're like, why do I look like such a. failure is that what I was noticing was why is there a big open spot on the shelf behind me where's my credibility you say yeah there there's three things on the shelf and the side things were there but the center thing wasn't there right I'm like fuck where is my fucking trophy and I have this anxiety that comes from having two homes as a child as my parents were divorced which is it's like when you can't find something, it's probably at the other parents' house. But if it's not at the other parents' house, that means it's gone forever.

Because you'll never, by the time you figure out it's not at the other parents' house, wherever you left it, they're not going to be keeping it for you or what, you know what I mean? Yeah. So you're always like 70% confident that something that you don't have with you is at the other parents' house, but it might also be gone forever. Right. lives in between i immediately went into that mode with this so i'm like it's got to be in the back of my car gotta be i go to the back of my car there's nothing there my god i realize that in

the backseat of my car had been three tote bags full of crap two of which i had to bring to the goodwill oh my gosh and i'm like there's no there's no way there's no fucking way it's got to be somewhere it's gotta be fucking somewhere i'm like tearing up my house looking for this fucking trophy yeah and i said to my wife i'm like i'm gonna give it a week but i think i fucking donated my podcasting hall of fame trophy so there's some so there's some amateur ass podcaster out there somebody with you know 25 apple podcast reviews who does a battle star galactica recap podcast with the guy they met in improv. Yeah.

Who was just browsing the Goodwill one day. So say we all. And now he's got that thing on his shelf. Okay. Next to all his fucking Funco's. I'm like, I'm going to give this a week because, and I can't freak out,

but I was freaking out the entire time. But did you know, I mean, you know where the Goodwill is, right? Did you think of going there? Here's the thing. I had gone to a few, you know me.

I'd go to the thrift store anytime I, there's a thrift store between where I'm going and where I am. So I was like, I think I gave it to the, goodwill by my office, in which case it's definitely gone. Okay. Maybe I gave it to this.

I had tried to give it to this small thrift store by my house, but when I went there, the guy told me they were moving. Okay. So I was like, I don't even know which thrift store I would go throw myself on the mercy of. Okay. Because I couldn't remember where I had even given these bags of stuff to. So I am like losing my fucking mind. And I'm trying not to, but I'm caught in that in between feeling of being a nine-year-old

that doesn't know where his homework is. Okay. And I gave it like another week. And then I was just like, fuck it. And I had a meeting with my bookkeeper, Amity. Keeps the books for the new corporation that I operate. Noah's Arcade Incorporated. And I'm like, Amity, I can't bring myself to do this.

But will you email them and ask if I can get a new trophy? Right. I'm like, I can't. Emotionally, I can't do this. They said, you can call the trophy place and order one. And I'm like, well, it's not the same juice, but I'm grateful that you're willing to, you know what I mean? So I said to Amity, I said Amity, just by two.

Just by two. That way, there's a backup and fuck it. I'll put one in my office at the office and I'll put one at the house. and then it's like having an off-site hard drive backup. If there's a fire, I'm still in the podcast Hall of Fame. Right, but the only achievement of my career. So she says, okay, I don't remember what they cost,

but, you know, they cost $125 or something like that. Shipping probably. Like, not nothing. Yeah. But I'm like, fuck it. Just fuck it. We're just going to do it. You know, tear the Band-Aid off.

I don't want to not have it. I don't want to feel bad about having lost it for the rest of my life. So I just order two of them. And then like that was probably two weeks ago. Like three days ago, I'm sitting at my desk and I look over my shoulder and there is the trophy one shelf up. There the whole time, huh? I had moved it. I had accidentally put it one shelf too high.

And because it was clear, I didn't see it. So now I'm going to have three podcasts. Three. Hey, you want one of them? That says your name on it? Yeah, why not? Sure. Our guest on the program this week is a comedy music legend.

He's, uh, do you think he's the first guest on our program ever to have a PhD? I don't know. That's a great question. I mean, we know Cristella Alonso has a PhD from the streets. Right. Dickerson, does Dickerson have a PhD? No, he just has a nice necktie. Okay.

He is from Go Banana Go. He's from Ninja Sex Party. He's from Harvard University at one point. Brian Webb. Hi, Brian. Hi, guys. Thanks for having me. Great to have you here.

What's the PhD in? PhD is in theoretical physics. Okay. So specifically string theory, supersymmetry, quantum field theory, particle physics, that kind of stuff. Couldn't cut it in an actual physics, huh? No, I had to do the math version. Like I tried real hard But yeah

Before you got into comedy music Were you pursuing a career in that So I left a job as a professor Okay Like a you know in England So there's an a An asterisk here which is in England I wasn't allowed to call

No There's literal street orphans like Please sir May I have some more of your papers You just give them because I built me Adron Collider I did I did So in England they're very

this might come as a shock to you they're very class conscious yeah you know it's weird you know what now I'm remembering every comedy thing they've ever done that's exactly right that's what I'm referring to you it's the national obsession and so I was a lecturer

and then after a couple years a senior lecturer but I didn't make it to reader or professor or barrister so if I told a yeah if I told a British person I was a professor they give you a wig to wear I wish what kind of gown had you

I never, disappointingly, no wigs, no gowns, no accoutrements, just, you know, civilian theoretical physics clothes. Did you, did you sew on just a few gold bars at the cuff of your regular pants like William Rehnquist? Yeah, the inside, yeah, that's right. Okay. Do you miss the English aisles? I miss many things. When you close your eyes, do you hear the whisper of the aisles? We lived in London for three years, and it was the best.

Do you hear that, sir? Tis the sound of meat pies. You know, I'm not kidding. The meat pies were legit, one of the best parts about it. We used to go to this place called Pie Minister, which was in Borough Market, took me a solid two years to realize it was a pun on Prime Minister. Yeah, not the strongest pun. No, it's a grower.

And we used to get, you know, meat pie, five meat pies at a time, take them home, me and my wife, Rachel, and cook them up. Just house them? Yeah, just right there on the streets of London. it. I love pie culture. Absolutely. Oh, what would you say is your favorite pie culture element of pie culture other than, of course, Sweetie Todd? I was going to say the pies. I haven't tried the pies.

But yeah, it was great. It was great over there. We had a good time. And then I quit once this comedy band, Ninja Sex Party, started actually looking like a career. Okay. Yeah. Have you made it back on a tour? Have you gotten to let go back and tell all your old colleagues to suck it? So, yes. Actually, when I told them the first time, you know, so I had to quit this job.

I work my entire academic life to get to this point where I have a faculty job. And what that means is six years of doing a doctorate at San Diego. And then various temporary research jobs called postdocs, which I did for eight years. And, you know, eventually you land this faculty job. The only thing you've been working for your entire life, tendered, you know, that sort of stuff. And also dragging a very tolerant and nice wife around with me each time saying, hopefully this is the last one.

We finally get to a permanent job in London. It's done. The career is settled. And then three years later, I quit and move back to the States with her kind of permission. There had to have been some overlap where you are both working as a professor and performing in Ninja Sex Party. That's correct. Did you ever have to like address it with your colleagues? Yes. And so the couple times I knew it was reaching an inflection point when I would travel to give research seminars and fans would start showing up at these talks in front of fancy professors. Did they think it was a show or do they just want to see you? I think they just wanted to see me. So I remember at some point, you know, going to give a talk somewhere and someone coming up beforehand and like the fanciest professors in the world. I forget where it was.

some, some, you know, nice institution. And like these people who I have idolized, you know, the thought leaders of string theory are right there. And this kid comes up to me and says, I just wanted to say, I really like ninja sex party and no reason boner is my favorite song. You know, and then I was like, I think I'm going to need to make a choice. Sure. At some point. Our friend James Richemeth is a medical doctor, but he is a doctor of psychiatry. And he works in the brilliant sketch comedy group, Casper Howser.

But then his real job is working in a hospital in the, like, wing for the seriously mentally ill. So he works with like schizophrenic people, like seriously schizophrenic people and so on and so forth. And I have had some conversations about with him about the lengths to which he will go to make sure no one knows that he has a comedy career. Yeah. Yeah. Well, for me, this is a big part in the ninja sex party. I am the ninja, Ninja Brian. So I wear a mask. Like, you can't see my face. And we mostly just did it because that was what was funniest. But also a definite positive side effect was that nobody knew what I looked like, unless I wanted them to. But yeah. I mean, there's a long history. I mean, when I say there's a long history, I'm really thinking only of our former UCSE professor Tom Lair of, uh, nerd professor comedy entertainers. Are there other nerd professor comedy entertainers? I think there are a lot of nerd professors who want to be comedy entertainers.

Oh, God, yes, I'm sure. There's a lot of quipping, shall we say, in the lecture hall. But I can't think, Tom Lera is the, you know, the, er. There's a lot of people bringing lists of puns to class. Yes, a lot of quite droll slides being shown at talks. People love to put up little cartoons, you know, like single panel comics, far sides. Far sides, yeah, most of the far sides, probably. And the thing about these, they never work.

It's never funny because you have to pause while everybody in the... And they all read it at a different speed. That's right. And then you have to explain why you're showing this far side cartoon in your talk. So I think there are a lot of people who... That said, can you imagine how much fucking action Gary Larson would get if he showed up at like a biology conference? Oh, huge. Larson would be drowning it.

Oh my god Whatever he wants Any act Yeah and at physics It would be Bill Amand Who does Foxtrot There's a lot of physics jokes in Foxtron Which syndicated

Newspaper cartoonist Fucks the most at what conference Let's go around the horn Dick Brown at all of them Obviously That guy that makes Heathcliff Is fucking his way through That doesn't make sense conference

Right yeah Sure he can go to Yeah Dadaist clown convention The King The other day Can I just Can I just recount a Heathcliff

That I read the other day? Are you Before we Are you aware of where Heathcliff is at This was kind of new to me So I Let's see

Is it Peter Gallagher That sounds right Yeah And he's the son Of the original guy or something Right? Yeah Yeah

And I mean I don't really I only remember The Saturday morning TV cartoon Heathcliff Heathcliff, no one should. Like, I don't even really remember it being. Do you remember Heathcliff and Marmaduke?

Were they friends? What a wacky pair. A rough little, tough little alley cat and a lovable lap dog as big as a bear. Wow. So there was a, there was a quite the mismatched pair. Yeah. You know it. At some point, there was a comic strip animal shared universe.

That's correct. Wow. Although I guess the Heathcliff maybe that we remember also was paired with U.S. Acres. No. No. Garfield was paired with U.S. acres. They're both Jim Davis.

I mean, my point stands that there are comics. I bet that at some point, Marmaduke put one of those long strings of sausages into his mouth and then pulled out a sausage skeleton. A great gag. So, right. Yeah, so Heathcliff has gotten insane. It's just these random collections of images and words that don't make sense. And they are kind of bafflingly hilarious. There was a Heathcliff.

It was just Thanksgiving. And there was a Heathcliff that I absolutely fucking adored. I don't want to get it wrong. Look, I already searched. The last thing I searched for in Instagram was Heathcliff. So it only took a moment for me to. It's images with essentially non-sequitur words underneath them or what? They don't track as jokes per se.

Yeah, great. And it's not clear. It seems. They don't even have the structure of Joe. Is that what I'm... So he wears a... There's just a weird thing happening. There's a recurring cast of characters.

There's a frog. There's the sort of a garbage ape. Yeah, the frog is a sort of prima donna, but no one is into it. Ham comes up a lot. And the frog existed in the prior Heathcliff? Great question. No, the frog is new. The new guy created the frog.

Because we're on year 60 of Heathcliff or something like this. I mean, you told me that like Heathcliff was a thing during the Great Depression. Like it lifted our spirits during, during, I'm like, oh, like a, you know, gasoline alley type thing. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, what's the Heathcliff? There is a family and they're around their Thanksgiving turkey. Okay. So Heathcliff does topical stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is very, this is very topical shit. Mm-hmm. Um, they're around the Thanksgiving turkey. You know, this is a beautiful golden brown Thanksgiving turkey. Oh, let me add it. Oh, yum, yum. Can I see this?

Let me add it. Oh, look it's full color. I didn't know. I was expecting black and light. Wow. And don't get me started on the sides. Oh. And the old bald man who's probably the grandpa is saying, wait, what happened to the gravy

helmet? Okay. So pretty good so far I'm already laughing Listen to me I'm already yucking it up And then you look up You notice at the top of the frame

Leaping through the air is Heathcliff And he's wearing a helmet That says gravy on it He's leaping through the air How is he flying? I guess he stole the helmet From the family And he flew away

I guess the family had And then he hung up on the flying Do all the okay Now you remember the ham limit Right Jordan Maybe can just can you you refresh my memory? I do not know the ham limit.

Well, Heathcliff is... Except, of course, the theoretical physics version of the ham limit. Right, which is a concept we're all taught. Well, you learn that in practical physics. And, of course, it was Shakespeare's child who died prematurely. Ham limit. Yeah. So in the ham limit, it's Heathcliff and he's driving on the road in what appears to be a

ham car. He's wearing a helmet that says ham. Can you define ham car? Yeah. So if you just imagine a heathcliff-sized car, but it's a ham, but it's a ham. But it's a ham with wheels. Right, check.

He's got the bone. And no, he's got the bone. It's a cross section. You know, if you imagine the front end of the car. Yep. Looks like a bullseye because it's got the bone, the ham, and then the rind. Okay.

Okay. So he's driving down the road. He has a helmet on that says ham. And then there's a sign that says ham limit, 25. And then an onlooker is saying to his wife, he's going way over the ham limit. That got me. It's what I got me. So anyway, this one is fucking legendary. That's a good one. Not just because of Jordan Jesse Go, but I think in the Heathcliff fan community, there's a huge one. Like, I would definitely buy a t-shirt with the ham limit on it. But again, just recently, it was the Thanksgiving holidays. and there was a fucking sequel to the ham limit follow up to one of the greatest heathcliffs of all time

wow this one has this one has Heathcliff and he's not driving a ham this time Jordan Cowling Heathcliff's driving a yam whoa wow a sweet potato uh-huh this guy's driving a sweet potato he's wearing a helmet his helmet says yam that's good because I feel like it wouldn't be able to recognize a sweet potato without that. Right. So he's wearing a hat that says yam, a helmet that says yam. But then the sign still says ham limit 25.

Okay. But the same guy is there. Other side of the frame this time, they flipped it. And the guy saying to his wife, not sure the ham limit. Wait, not sure the yam limit. Not sure the yam limit. Not sure the yam limit. I mean,

people didn't think it was possible, but Godfather two was better than Godfather. Sometimes you can. It's true magic. Now, I have to say, when you said, do you know what's up with Heathcliff, I did not expect anything near. You just figured he came out or something. Yeah, right.

He's woke now. Everybody knows it. Yeah. Are these woke? These are a waking dream. Yes. And there's like an active Heathcliff fan community that. I mean, I consider myself to be a part of it.

I would imagine these were, at least initially. polarizing? I have. I mean, here's the question. What would polarize the audience? Like, you just have to figure that any newspaper comic strip in 2025 is just a death spiraling money machine. Like, on the one hand, it's still probably making a lot of money. It's in massive syndication. Because it's just in newspapers around the world. On the other hand, it's probably making 20% of the money that it made at its peak, and it's just constantly slowly declining. And very few people, I would imagine, are going on, to look at web comics of Heathcliff, right? I don't know.

I interviewed Bill Griffith, the creator of Zippy the Pinhead. Zippy the Pinhead makes less sense than Garfield. I love Zippy the Pinhead, but it makes less sense than Garfield. Heathcliff. Then Heathcliff, thank you. Well, it makes a lot less sense than Garfield. Sure. But it makes sense.

yeah yeah it makes less sense than heathcliff um it is just it's usually just you know zippy the pinhead talking to a road sign or whatever and that has been in like hundreds of newspapers since like 1970 yeah and just at some point somebody said we should throw something in for the long hairs and ever since then it's been his job to make this weird jokeless insane comics absurdist in Saturday again like those are things that I like about it I want to be clear it's a wonderful wonderful comic strip but like you see it next to Sally 4th or whatever and you're like what even is this but that has to be the whole comic strip page right like just people that have had a comic strip for 50 years yeah I wonder what the newest comic strip is I probably

boondocks right but I think he quit the boondocks pretty shortly into creating the boondocks or get fuzzy maybe yeah That was a spin-off of Get Shorty, is that correct? Elmore Litter. He gets up every day and he writes get up. Pullers a belt of scotch. I bet there's a thing too now where it's like every couple of years when the option expires. Like someone who wrote on Rick and Morty gets $100,000 to write a Heathcliff movie that will never get made.

And then it just gets revised until the rights go away. The idea of making a syndicated comic strip. seems like hell. It seems, like, a time's a billion. We all do things regularly and those are hard. Yeah.

This is hell. I'll say it. I'm having a great time with my friends. We have fun. We have fun with friends. Can you imagine? We do a good job. The reality of waking up every day to a character that's been around for 60 years or whatever

and having to come up with something, quote unquote, new. You're like, Oh, fuck. I had a great idea for him wanting a baked ziti, but it doesn't fit the carriage. Sure. You can't put wheels on a ziti. Yeah, I can think of nothing less appealing than having that as a job almost. Yeah, I think to do that job, you have to be a level of antisocial and naturally.

I mean, I think the perfect expression of it is like Charlie Brown. the miserable fuckwit, who is at the center of peanuts, just like the world's, the world's least happy person. Right. Uh, who just slogs his way through the indignities of his everyday life. And that's what like the sweetest comics guy ever came up with. You know what I mean? You read Charlie Brown as a kid.

You're like, at least I was very into newspaper comics as a kid. And specifically peanuts, I had those peanuts collections that were all numbered and everything. Like the, they had a strong background. color and then like a single image on the front. Big time. And you read them as a kid and you're like, oh, that's fine, you know, I like Snoopy, et cetera. And then you read them as an adult and you're like, Jesus fucking Christ,

this is bleak. It's so sad. I recently found out when I was talking to Jennifer Marmer, the producer of Judge John Hodgman, that there are people whose favorite guy from Peanuts is Snoopy. Yes. Jordan Cowling raising her hand.

Your favorite? Big Snoopy. Hey, big, big snoophead. My dad is a musician. And in the eight, when I was a kid, he would go on tour in places like Japan and he would always bring me a Snoopy back. So I love Snoopy. Oh, I thought you meant he would like meet Snoopy or they would just play the songs from Peanuts. He had a second family and it was, it was Snoopy. He was fucking Snoopy. Wow. Wow. Cool. I mean, if you have a second family and you're fucking Snoopy, it's really like fucking three people. people because you're fucking your wife, you're fucking Snoopy, and you're fucking the Red Barron. Oh, yeah, sure. I thought you were going to go with Woodstock, and I'm really glad you did. No, no, I would never. I would never. I would fuck Snoopy all night.

Who's his uncle that lives in the desert? Spike. Spike. I watched the, I watched a holiday peanut special. I was reminded of what a fucking jam the peanut song is. Oh, it's great. I fucking love that shit. That whole Vince Guraldi album is incredible.

But I have to say, like. to me Charlie Brown like there's reasons that you would like I like peppermint Patty because even though she pretends to be in love with

Charlie Brown like clearly she's a cool lesbian. Absolutely. She's just like friend goals. You know what I mean? Like you want to have a cool fucking friend that talks cool like that. Yep.

And like you know you could like Linus because he's you know Christian. Because that's why I like Lyme. They're all pretty Christian. They're all pretty Christian. You know, there's reasons to hope Heathcliff gets Christian.

I hope that's the next step is him getting really preachy. There's reasons to like all of them. But like, to me, Snoopy is a fucking dick. And Charlie Brown is a pathetic sad sack like me. Yeah. I always liked, I found it was thrilling when one of the deep cut characters like rerun or wasn't a character named Five? At one point, I believe, I might have been three, but I think there was a character who was just named a number as a.

If they wrote peanuts today, it'd be six, seven. Thanks, Jordan. Yeah. There's my friend Jordan over here. It's got his finger on the pulse of American popular culture. Six-seven, they say. Do you get yelled at for referring to six-seven at home? I have an 11-year-old, and I get scolded.

Because you're ruining it? yes i got yelled at for slicing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today i one child will only eat it diagonally sliced one child will only eat square slices and the other child i learned the hard way will only eat it unsliced so what do you do you just cut them different i just don't know i uh i get yelled at for comedy basically uh my daughter had a friend over the other day, they're working at some school project, and I made some dad joke that made her friend laugh. And you're like, dad has five million YouTube subscribers.

This is interesting, though, because like, okay, like, I understand if you worked in, like, another kind of media, you know, dad's job becomes uncool no matter what it is. But, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but YouTube is still cool, right? Like kids, that's just like what kids watch now. Right. Yeah, my daughter mainly when she watches that sort of stuff is YouTube shorts, never TikTok. Sure. I mean, she doesn't, she has no place to get TikToks.

But YouTube shorts are accessible to her. So, yeah, she loves, you know, YouTube as a concept and thinks it's cool to be a YouTuber and has YouTubers that she's into, none of which I can stand. But, you know, but yes, I think to her being a YouTuber is like, still cool. So do you get cool points or are you just still dad? No, I'm just still dad. So the end of this story, as I make some joke, her friend laughs. Audrey, you know, groans. And as this friend finishes laughing, Audrey looks at her friend and says,

he does jokes for a living. And, oh, that's exactly what you want. Yeah. I was thrilled. Thrill. Listen, should we all take a break? Yeah. Think of some jokes to do for a living.

Oh, yes, please. And come back for some more. Come up with some various. nationalities of brain rot. That would be fun. I'm told that's something that maybe I don't want to explain to me. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan,

Jesse Goh. It's Jordan, Love you, Love you, Love you, Love you, Love You, Love You, Love You, Love You, Love You, Love You, It's God, I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweetheart, Jordan Morris's Boy Detective. Every episode of Jordan Jesse Go is supported by the members of Maximum Fun. We're going to watch this. We've got a Christmas podcast, movie, movie podcast coming out. Yeah, a special holiday edition featuring a movie from the Hallmark family of films. Of films and greeting cards.

Or similar, yes. And commemorative ornaments. Uh-huh. What don't they do over there at Hallmark? Yeah, we like to celebrate the holiday season, Jordan. We're going to celebrate. We're going to watch a Hallmark. Christmas rom-com that involves podcasting.

It's going to be fun. Might have a special guest or two popping by. Yeah, Santa Claus. Santa Claus and an elf. If you're a member, make sure that you're subscribed to that bonus content feed, which you can find by logging into your membership. And if you're not a member, how about becoming a member at maximum fun.org slash join so you can enjoy those shows.

We're also supported this week by the folks at Factor. Jordan, the holidays are a crazy time of year, an insane food time of year. You never quite know what you're going to end up putting into your mouth. Yeah, I'm just there fighting the crowds at the local shopping mall, trying to get deals. And I'm like, what am I going to eat here? What am I going to eat? Funco pops? It's all they have here.

I keep getting into fights with Sinbad when I'm trying to choose a particular toy. Oh, that's right. The movie Jingle All the Way was based on your life, right? Yeah, my life had that of Sinbad. Sure. and your constant yearly struggle Arnold Schwarzenegger played me Sinbad played himself

because he's already had an acting career Right But I mean we're We're all over the place here But basically our point is The holidays are insane And sometimes you don't know what to eat You're running around

You're popping in a handful of junk food You're getting takeout It's all too complicated What if right there in your refrigerator Was waiting for you A complete, tasty, healthy you know, multi-part, multi-course meal. All you had to do was just heat it right up in the microwave.

We're talking about Asian-inspired meals, China, Thailand. We're talking about Korean beef bowls, Thai curries. We're talking about all kinds of stuff if you want to take a break from classic holiday stuff. They also have classic. Look, if you just want to eat a piece of a bird and some mashed potatoes, they can hook you up with that as well. Oh, yeah, factor. And I don't know if we mention this. It gets delivered right to your house.

in a big box. It's a great box, too. It's a wonderful box filled with wonderful food that is easy. You just throw it in the microwave. You throw it in the oven. You got something nice to eat right there. Eat smart at factor meals.com slash j.j.go 50 off. And use code J.J. Go 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.

That's code J.J. Go 50 off at factor meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year this exclusive holiday offer won't last long lock in your savings before the new year rush offer only valid for new factor customers

with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase we're also supported this week by the folks at ORA frame Jordan folks close to you it can be very difficult

to get something personal for them because probably you've gotten them 25 Christmas presents in the past maybe they are like sick of snoopies sick of getting snoopies

even though at one point They did mention they had three snoopies. Now they have 23 snoopies because you've got them 20 consecutive snoopies. It can be tough to pick something out that will be special to them. But what if there was a machine, Jordan, I submit this to you. What if there was a machine you could put on a shelf and things that were special to them lived inside that machine they could visit with them any time they wanted? This sounds like an amazing machine, Jesse.

Here's my concern. Okay. What if me or my extended family members or the people I'm buying for, what if we're not tech gizmo heads? It's easy. Just submit to the machine. The machine will do the work for you. Aura frames live inside of them people that your loved ones love. Why?

Because you can shoot photos right into them, right from your telephone. You can set them up without them even having opened the box yet. And then all they have to do is plug them in and connect them to Wi-Fi. It is that simple and easy. And I will say, I have ORAFrains in my house. It is genuinely that simple and easy. It's not a trick. It is totally fun.

It is totally cool. I have given ORAFraM's as gifts in the past. The gifts have always gone over like gangbusters. It's one of these things where you give somebody the gift and then you go back to their house. And the gift is there. You can see the gift because they're using it because it's great. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visitingoraFraimms.com to get $35. or is best-selling Carver Matt Frames, named number one by wirecutter, by using promo code

go at checkout. So that's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code go. This deal is exclusive to listeners, frames sell-out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Speaking of technology that you can look at and something you care about is there, Guess what? We got something up on the Jumbotron this week. If you want to share a message with our listeners, you can go to maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. If you are already a Jordan, Jesse, go listener. We'll share your message very affordably. Up on the Jumbo tron this week is Chaco del Mar. They say, hi, Jordan, hi Jesse, hi guest. I'm guessing Sully the Seagull, professional crumb enthusiast and longtime friend. It's Cleo Otter here. I make Chaco Del Mar award-winning Chaucer.

inspired by adventure art and whimsy, visit chaco del Mar.com and sign up for my newsletter to follow along. Sounds like a nice chocolate. That does sound like a beautiful chocolate. And thank you to Cleo Otter and we're really sorry that we couldn't book Sully the Seagull. Thus far, I've only tried Chaco della Tierra. But I'm interested in checking out Chaco Del Mar. Me too. It sounds like a great chocolate. If you're doing holiday shopping, check out put this on shop.com. We have tons of beautiful antique. and lots of vintage clothes and lots of silly nonsense. Look, you can just buy yourself some pro set music cards if you want to.

But it's also like, you know, if you want to buy gold jewelry, like real things. I've got a lot of really gorgeous things is all I'm saying, Jordan, and put this on shop. Sounds like there's a wonderful variety of things up there at put this on shop.com. Use the code JJ go get 10% off. Jordan, you have some comics coming out. People can go to Collectors Paradise to pre-order them. Yes, Predator Bloodshed, a real-life Predator Comics miniseries from the Good People at Marvel Comics, me, and some wonderful artists. If you like that thick-thied, killer of men, why not go to bit.ly slash cool fight?

He's a snakehead from space. Yes, and many people want to have sex with him. Some people want him to leave the mask on. Some people want him to take it off. It's their preference. Bit.ly slash cool fight. You can order signed by me copies from Collectors Paradise Or you can just pre-order at your local comic book store

Put it on your poll list That really helps the book It helps all the creators who make the book And yeah, you're going to get yourself Some very cool, very gory Predator Comics Hey Jordan, yeah You know what's underneath that mask? I don't know how familiar you are with the canon

I presume not that friend on there Yeah, I'm just kind of riffing You know it's underneath that mask if you take the mask off Mr. Denzel Washington Whoa, hubba, hubba, spoiler alert. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Laugh. I'm Jesse Goe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart.

Brian Wecht, Wect, not mad, but disappointed scientist. I understand. I understand. oh shit jordan i almost forgot this uh we have a new sponsor on the show oh cool um and i i got this very last minute i don't think jordan cowling's even seen this sponsor but they asked me to just do this read straight they didn't want us to do like an interactive kind of thing or anything like that yeah usually on these are like oh kind of make it sound natural and make it sound like part of the show no and this is they sponsored one episode and i thought that they maybe were disappointed

with the read or something. This was a couple of years ago. Okay. But they're actually back. Oh, good. So is it cool if I just read a quick thing before? Yeah, sure. Yeah, Brian, hang out.

This will be quick. I'll be sure. Okay. Okay. Jordan Jesse Go brought to you this week by Network Television. This week on Network Television, this guy has a short-length beard and there's a white girl missing. So get in the truck. Let's solve this thing.

You're watching sports already. Just don't turn it off. Network TV. Your grandma needs it to sleep. Network TV, 57 and washed out of the movies, point a gun at something. Two hands. That's Network TV. Who's that guy? That's some football guy, but he's wearing a polo shirt. Sometimes there's two shows on, on two different TVs in the same room at your cousin's house while she's prepping a dump meal. Network TV, we got Brian Cox talking about McGrittles, Ellie Kemper's shopping

at Coles. Want to know what dryer sheet to use? We got a little cartoon guy, he'll tell you. Kevin James is a firefighter probably. Network TV. Your sister has a crush on Tracker from Tracker. That's network TV. It's after 10. There's way more rapes than you expected. That's network TV. Big screen from 1992 in your uncle's basement three feet deep like a goddamn light up chest freezer. Picture and picture technology? Double it up, baby. Network TV. We found Tia Carrera and we gave her a show where friends with Heather Locklear, Mark Paul Gossler's numbers on our phone. I swear to God, we'll show it to you right now. Network TV. Motion smoothing. Built for it. Go to town. Network TV. Now available on Paramount Plus and certain cable packages, it says. Good to have network TV back. What a sponsorship.

Grateful to have network TV back. Grateful to have network TV back. I happened to they gave me a call as I was watching the football game earlier today. They let me know. They wanted to tell me about a new NCIS they have. And to Boston. There was a show that was called Boston. badge. Boston Chicago's Boston. Everybody loves this thing. Something about Boston. I was like, yeah, I guess they haven't done a Boston one. Yeah. You know, I think they're just, I do

think that at the office of CBS or whatever, they just got a list of cities. Yeah, and they just put words out because there was Boston public, Boston legal. Maybe it's one of those like magnetic poetry kits. Oh, and they just

throw it on the board and see what shows up, yeah. I think that seems right, right? They have a list of cities and then a list of, like, you know, masculine jobs. And then you squunch those together. Uh, yeah, throw on. Right's itself. Yeah, throw on somebody who was on saved by the bell. Yeah. You got a show. Wait, touched by a firefighter. That doesn't seem right. We got to move these pieces around. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Touched by Seattle. That's a show. Brian, on our program, I mean, I'm sure you know this because you're, of course, immensely popular YouTuber. You're a popular occasional podcaster as well. You're a popular live performer. You're headed on a tour of Europe. So you know a little something about being

creative and working hard. That's right. Yes. We do that on our show. We don't. So we come up with our own ideas for segments on the show. And then people call in for them. It's not just people calling in to tell us something. And then they say it's for a segment, whatever the fuck that fits the thing they wanted to tell us. This is us coming up with ideas. And then they're just responding. So here's an example. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest, this is Sam in Seattle calling him for your beloved signature segment. Things I saw while waiting to get picked up at the airport. So I was standing at the curb and this guy pulls up in one of those new corvettes that kind of looks like a Lamborghini.

And he picks up his lady friend and they spent probably five to ten minutes trying to figure out how to fit one carry-on-sized suitcase into either of the front or back luggage compartments on this car, which are about the size of a personal cooler. Anyway, they finally figured out how to get it in, they pull away from the curb, and immediately after that, this older guy in an airline uniform comes kind of shambling down the sidewalk and grabs out of the top of the garbage can near us a Dunkin' Donuts bag, and he holds it up to his ear, shakes it, looks disappointed, throws it back in the garbage can, and keeps walking. And I noticed that he was actually eating something in his other hand, which I have to assume he got out of another garbage can. So anyway, that's it. Bye. Bye. Do we think these are related? Do you think that the way that they fit the bag into the back of the Corvette was to get rid of one Dunkin' Donuts bag that was.

And this guy was waiting the whole time for them to see it. This guy's like, oh, shit, he's got a guy at the Andrews to the airport. We got a Corvette coming in, Jim. Get ready to score some donuts. A few donut holes. A few donuts. You seen one of these Corvettes that looks like a Lambert. I have it. That sounds like something Tim Robinson would say. I've seen a corvette that looks like a Lamborghini.

I've seen this corvette that looks like a Lamborghini. And every time I see it, I think, I guess, you know what? I guess I don't know what either of those cars should look like. So this is exactly what I was going to say. I'm not a car guy in any sense. I know sports cars. Those are both sports cars. Is that right? Yeah. I feel like that was my like stock answer as a kid who didn't like cars. When other kids would ask me what kind of car I wanted, you were just supposed to say, a Lamborghini. I still don't know. Probably a Lamborghini Diablo at the time. Maybe. Lamborghini Kuntosh is that one? There you go. I remember that from stashing it away in case asked. What's the fastest car? Just as I know that an SR 71 blackbird is the fastest airplane. Sure. Yes. If an older boy asks you, you have an answer. The new corvettes are yellow. Okay. Great. Or electric blue. Is there a Corvette look? Do they all look the same?

Yeah, like a shittier Lamborghini. Okay, yes. But like what, like I know that a Corvette is a like a, like if you're looking for like a loud fast car, a Corvette is indeed one of those, right? Like it is loud and it is genuinely fast. Like it has a giant engine and it goes really fast. but A, like, all electric cars go faster than basically any gas car. Now, like, I have a, I drive a Hyundai, and if I press the mode button twice to put it in sport mode, it's like driving a fucking rocket ship. But also, like, I wonder about these dudes that go buy this Corvette that looks like a Lamborghini and just think, like, what if you got a different car that's not just the world's shittiest Lamborghini?

You know what I mean? What have you got a good? What do you got yourself a nice Malibu? You know, just get yourself an entry-level Audi. You know, enjoy the nice solid sound it makes when you close the door rather than buying yourself the like one-fifth the price version of a Lamborghini. Yeah. I know what a Diablo is.

Yeah. That's a devil. Sure. What is a kuntosh? That's a pussy. is it a book? No. Well, that's why I don't know what it is.

Okay, let me. Jordan, you're working on it. I'm working on it. And that is a real word. I guess, is it? I don't know. Never heard it before right now. Yeah.

So you, as a kid who also didn't like cars, did you have a stock answer to that? I'm like, oh, I don't think anything obvious. The car from Roger Rabbit. You know what? My dad did have a 1980s before it was cool. diesel Mercedes. Oh, yeah. And that, I think, they told me was cool.

So I believe them that it was cool. He probably bought that in order to force his children into a future English physics professor track. Yeah, got some of it really early. J.K., would you Google Kuntosh and let us know what that means? Yeah, but you're already doing it over there. Don't click on the images tab. Yeah.

This is a professional environment. Did you want the literal definition of Kuntosh or just what it is? I'll take both. Go translate that shit. The Lamborghini Kuntash, this is what AI says. It's a rear wheel drive. Yeah, no, we know what the car is. We want to know what the word.

Don't sass us, J.K. Rock has some things to say about who drives one. The Kuntash name comes from the Piedmontese exclamation Kuntage, which expresses amazement. It means plague or contagion. Wow. Oh, wow, what a name for your sports car. Yeah, the Black Death. The plague.

Today, my daughter, my 14-year-old, and I, went to the beach where the final scene of Planet of the Apes was shot. Okay. Where is that? I mean, I would assume it was in L.A., but I... Yeah, it's in the far reaches of Malibu, California. Malibu is a largely burned down city. of rich people's strip malls. It's like visibly bur-you know, like you can just see it everywhere.

I haven't been there since the fires. There are a lot of cleared lots. There are a lot of cleared lots. But it is a beautiful state beach. It's just a regular state, it's regular old state beach. I parked on the street. Did you go as like Planet of the Apes tourism? Yeah, that was the idea.

Folds-A-Is. Made the hiking a lot sweat. I had promised grace long I had mentioned to grace long ago that I thought that beach was somewhere in Malibu or something we looked it up and I told her I'd take her some time so we decided to go today because we just had a Sunday to do it the weather was nice so we drove out there and as I parked on the street there's like just a block of parking spots before you get into this the official parking lot of the beach and I'm like oh shit here goes a parking spot. I better park in this. It turns out I should have paid the $8 because

it's literally like maybe six-tenths of a mile or a mile. Yes, I've made this exact mistake. Yeah. But anyway, as we're on this on this like long forced march to get to the state beach through the world's longest parking lot, like it was like it was like parking outside Disneyland and walking in. Like it was just an indefinite like a forever length of time. We got passed by a Lamborghini and I just thought oh and this is on like fucked up state beach

parking lot roads you know what I mean I just thought oh right like if you live in Malibu you go to the beach in your Lamborghini because that's just your car I guess right get in the Lamborghini we're doing some off-roading

Brian have you had to do any tourism because of stuff your kid likes have you had to like go to stuff So, yeah, we've, well, we've done tide pooling in Malibu, which is awesome. Tidepooling is really cool. I got those little crabs in there. Little crabs. Giant, what I'd never heard this term before another parent said, it's sea hair, which is like a massive

slug, and it's a dare to kiss the sea hair, I guess. But you pick up this giant, like, kind of formless blob of sea slug. And you kiss it? That's, there was some kid was daring people to kiss it. Now, was this a thing that this kid just made up? Or is this a known, like, I mean, this kid is a pretty famously a fucking asshole. Looked like it, too.

This is a kid I'm thinking of. Little octopus, if you're lucky, right? You're crawling all around. Wow. Did you get to see a little octopus? No. This is the dream, Jessus, to see a little octopus. That's Brian.

I've always wanted to see a little octopus in person that I've never been. It'll happen for you. Someday, like you're tied blowing. Jordan has been saying the same thing. He's working on it. I'm working on it. You want to see Little Octopus?

I want to get a little of that Coomtosh. I'm trying to think of other things. We, I guess, my kid is now obsessed with going to Vegas. Anemimmy. Yeah.

Anemimony. Yeah. You can see anemone, yes. Yeah, you put your finger in there. Your kid, you're 11-year-old is obsessed with Vegas? She's obsessed with Vegas, yes. What is she, tell me what's her interest in Vegas?

Because you have a smooth jazz residency there, as I understand it. I do have a smooth jazz residency there. You're short in the Britney Spears of smooth jazz. You know, I'm toxic. How many costume changes do you have in your smooth jazz show? None, unfortunately, but I could work some in just for you. Thank you.

That would be great. Because I'll be coming right from seeing Bet Midler. Oh, that's great. Yeah, very similar. You to have as many costume changes. That's right. Well, we both do it for the boys. Well, of course.

Yeah, so I took her once. You're known as Smooth Jazz's man of a thousand points. Yes, right? We had the exact same trajectory. I started in the bath houses and moved up to Vegas. I took her, we have family friends who for years have been like Vegas rules with kids. It's like, there's no way Vegas rules with kids. Sure.

This literally can't be true. Yeah, speaking is a non-drinker, non-gambler, which most kids are those things. That's true. Vegas is terrible to me. Yeah, I don't gamble either. Like, it's, you're stuck in the casino. It's smoking. Like, you can legally smoke in the casino.

It sucks. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that part. But it turns out there are, this is not exactly a surprise. a million awesome shows and things to do that have nothing to do with the casino, you know, kind of vibe in Vegas. And so we just go see shows. We just, we go for like three days and we go see stage magic and dance shows and, you know,

they have an amazing, uh, it's like the history of atomic energy in Nevada, uh, museum right next to the strip. That's awesome. They got the punk rock museum now. I thought you were going to say there was a musical or something or like a stage girl type show about the history of a time. Oh, that would be incredible. I mean, that's an opportunity just waiting to happen. Did you ever get to go to the Liberace Museum? I have not yet, but I really want to. I believe it's closed. I believe it's, I believe it's gone forever. No, I would love to

see that. The other thing I'd love to see, uh, you know about David Copperfield's private collection of magic memorabilia? No. I believe the rumor is that. I've heard about his private collection of European pornography. It's very tasteful. Yeah. Uh, artsy. He's, I think it's not even rumor. I think he talks about it. He has a huge private collection just of stuff for magic. Houdini's, you know, Iron Maiden or something. That's right. And because he's a literal billionaire, he can just get everything.

Is Coppelt a billionaire? I think he is a billionaire. I mean, he wrote one of the most popular books in the history of the himself. And I understand it is, because I think his dad was like, ran a laundromat or something. The entrance is through a laundromat and there's a secret door. You like pull

a hook and you go in and it's this library and exhibit, which is not open, I know, right? You have to know the secret passphrase, which is, of course, Nicholas Nickleby. Nicholas Nickleby, right, right, right.

But yeah, Vegas is really fun with a kid. The last time I was sitting in this studio, it was to talk to the director and celebrity nice man, Ryan Johnson, about his great new Knives Out movie. And Ryan and I had once many years ago, had a long conversation about our admiration of the slight of hand performer Ricky Jay. They're the best.

And I had just been thinking about Ricky Jay because I had watched his stage show, Ricky Jay and his 52 assistants on YouTube the other day. Yes. Glaney copy, right? Well, there's a new, there's a new better one. There is? Yes. This is extremely exciting. Yeah, it is, it is still like a, you know, 480P. but it is a well-upscaled version.

Okay, good, because that old one was bad. Yeah, and my wife and I had gone to see that show in Santa Monica many years ago, I guess, 15, 20 years ago. And it was one of the best things I ever saw, and I was so excited to watch it again. I watched it with my kid. And I was thinking, oh, I'm seeing Ryan this week. I should talk to him about Ricky, because I had, like, he had been on my guest on my show a couple times, and I had a business lunch with his wife was a TV producer one time.

I was like, man, I'm basically best friends with Ricky Jay. I had his books as a kid. I mean, the greatest books in the history of the world. Fireproof women. Are you a, you're a magic guy, it sounds like. I guess I'm adjacent to a magic. I was a magic guy as a kid,

had the Blackstone magic sets and all that stuff. But yeah, you know, like any nerd, I have a passing interest in magic. So I was like, I am going to talk, I'm going to talk to Ryan about Ricky Jay. And then I'm reading, I'm prepping for my interview with Ryan. I'm reading the New Yorker profile of him that came out a few months ago. And in it, it just mentions casually.

Ricky Jay died five years or so ago. And he was also like a legendary collector of magic and unusual performance stuff, ephemera, paper goods. And there was just this casual mention in this. article of Ryan sitting in his office and on the wall behind him is a handbill for Matthias Bukinger, who was a guy with no, a tiny man with no arms and legs, who was a like a performer in the 17th century that Ricky Jay was obsessed with from the collection of Ricky Jay. Oh my God.

And I was like, yeah, of course fucking Ryan John. That's what he did with his fucking Star Wars money. I thought it was bad that one time when we were talking about making ice cream and I like, I just got for Christmas the fucking Brebel with the refrigerator inside of it so you don't have to freeze an insert and he's like, oh, I got the Italian one. What an asshole.

This fucking guy. When you do a Star Wars. Nice as you get. Nice as kind show business. Such a nice man. Okay, let's take, let's get you in one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and Go. This is Sarah from Pennsylvania calling in for your segment

Things I saw on my way to work at the kombucha brewery. First was a fairy ring of mushrooms in somebody's front yard. A very ring being like a patched mushroom New Jordan, Jesse, go listener job just dropped. Cambuchieri? Cambuchia brewery. Cambocha brewery. Yeah.

I thought it was like an aviary for kombucha. No, this is a place. Cabucha brewery. It's going to happen somewhere. Yeah. This is like a microbrewery only librarians work there. Gotcha. Right, right.

Yeah. Sounds like fun. Got an MLS? Want to work in a brewery? Combucha brewery is there for you. Not cool enough for beer? Yeah. Too cool for beer.

Some might say. Yeah. Were you into beer and then sobered up? Yeah. But you still have energy to put toward something. Yeah. Yeah. Got an advanced degree.

Want to drink something with a blob growing in it? Okay. Sorry, Jordan. Go ahead. Let's go. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and Go. This is Sarah from Pennsylvania calling in for your segment Things I saw on my way to work at the kombucha brewery.

First was a fairy ring of mushrooms in somebody's front yard. A fairy ring being like a patch of mushrooms growing in a perfect circle. Second was a raccoon scurring across the street. in front of me and diving headfirst into a storm drain, which can only mean teenage mutant ninja raccoons. And finally, a dog in a raincoat. Thanks. Love you. Bye. Now, on my way here tonight, I had a raccoon encounter,

which is very rare. So I don't know. If you do this, when I am near my home and driving, I will call my wife and hopefully daughter who is at home and say, oh my God, I just saw a fill in the blink. So I'm pulling out of my driveway tonight. A shooting. Pulling out of my driveway

And two gigantic raccoons scurry down a telephone pole And run into the neighbor's garden Towards his large persimmon tree And I was So we never see raccoons at this neighborhood I was fucking thrilled To see, I know And then they ran outside to try to see the raccoons

And yeah So I just had a raccoon encounter They're round little guys, aren't they? They were these were as I say, Heckin Chonkers Hecken chunkers When it's fucking persimmons season, buddy Oh yeah

That's when you're gonna get chonkers And you know who loves those persimmons are the crows Oh The crows are always after those persimmons Are these hotches or food use? Tell me more! He will give away persimmons And he has a very

Because he has a giant tree of them And one man can only eat so many persimmons And I mean in Bersimins season In my case, I'm gonna say four a year Yeah and even that is Half a persimine is kind of my limit You get one spoon full and you're like, it's okay, pretty good, try a little more.

And then it's so sweet, it's a little much for me. I forget which presuming is which, but I like the crunchy kind that doesn't have to get mushy in. Oh, this is the mushy kind that it was too much. Recommended that you refrigerate them, so you get this like soupy slurry. Yeah, my mom likes to make a persimmon pudding from that, which is not like a dairy pudding,

but like a British, you know, like a bread pudding kind of thing. and I don't like eating it. Sorry, Mom, love you. Yeah, I'm not into them, but we get them foisted on us several times. Well, it does appear to be one of those fruits where there is nothing for 11 months and then 5,000 pounds way too much. That's correct, yes. And then nothing for a further 11 months. Yes, and why you'd want a whole tree of them is beyond me.

Topps, I would grow half a tree. Yeah, no. That's the way to do it. Pro-strap. When I see them, I burn them down. Too many per semen. Well, that's mainly to jack off. Well, I love to feel the flames.

You want to see those fat raccoons. Oh, yeah. I love flames, and I love frightened raccoons. You're like, one day I'll see a real cuntosh. In the meantime, I'll see a raccoon dash. I do feel like we move quickly past the dog in the coat. He said raccoon dash. Right, it's such a coon taut.

I want to see a raccoon dash. He said a raccoon dash. Yeah. Which is like a pie minister situation over here. Except now I got it real time for this one. For kutosh, but raccoon dash? You should teach theoretical physics. Don't want to.

That's actually the first step of doing it. Right. You got to want it. I know. I should do, I should do the other way. I should do comedy. academia. Wait, are we skip, what you think we're skipping the dog

in a raincoat? Well, we didn't mention it. Yeah, yeah. That was the last thing. Yeah, I mean, we said, well, what about the first thing? We haven't talked about. A fairy circle of mushroom. We haven't talked about when mushrooms grow on a perfect circle. A lot of great content in this call. What's it called when mushrooms grow on on tool? Or

a different rock band of the time? Yes. Yes. Yes. I can't think of it. Alice and Shale. Alice and Chains. Alice and Chains would have been a good one. Yeah, Allison Chains. Let's go with Allison Chains.

You know what? Delete the show, Jordan. Let's just start with him saying Allison Chains. And then we'll go from that. And then we'll do plugs. And then that's the show. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse. Go.

La, la, la, la, la, la. Hello, this is Alden Ford. And Mujonzo Fagari. Two of the creators of Mission to Zix, your favorite improvised obsessively sound design sci-fi sitcom here on the Max Fun Network. And the news is, We're back!

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And this is a promo for Schmanor. It's extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary occasions. Every week, we're going to tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette still applies in the modern day, all that stuff. We also love to do biographies and histories of and, you know, general procedurals. How to do etiquette in today's society. So come check it out every Friday on Maximumfund.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

Manners Schmanners. Get it? It's Shorten, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio, sweetheart. Gordon Morris Boy Detective. Brian Wecht still here. And you're going on European tour? I am going on a European tour. Yeah, we're a ninja sex party, the band in which I am a ninja. You dress up as a ninja.

I mean, you've got a- Which you haven't talked about too much. You got a ninja outfit, ninja mask. Got the whole ninja everything. I do not have the ninja shoes. Okay. Because they're very uncomfortable. Really?

Yeah, and they also have a name I can't remember. Is that because you have web toes? It's because I'm running around in this costume all the time. What do you wear on stage? What are you think ninjas are doing? I don't wear brown merrill boots. That's just theoretical physicists. Yeah, it's just practical, right?

Actually, you know what? It kind of is, you're not really wrong about that. Yeah, I mean, if it's not, if it's not toe shoes, it's going to be theoretical. And you, because of your web, because of the web's on your feet, you're not going to be able to wear those toes shoes. Anything with a divider in the middle of it. Theoretical physicists, not known for their fashion sense. Right. Just practical.

Is that so? Yeah, I know, right? Yeah. Learn something today. So a lot of physicists I know just wear hiking shoes all the time. So yes, but I do have all the ninja stuff. I have a ninja shirt. I have a ninja mask.

I have ninja pants. And I have my role. Have you met real ninjas before? Not that I'm not suggesting. I'm not suggesting you're a false ninja. No, well, I believe me, I do think about this. I did meet actually about two months ago. I had a brief crossover video with the Ask a Ninja guy.

Oh, okay. Because they're back. They're making videos. Shout out to Kent Nichols from Asken Ninja. What a nice man. And Douglas is who I met from Asken Ninja and just the sweetest guy and yeah, we did a little Ninja Brian

and Ninja from Asken Ninja crossover event. So there's a relatively small club of YouTube Ninjas, I think. And, you know, maybe I'm top three, I guess. I don't really know. But certainly Asken Ninja is number one. Dr. McNinj is probably up there too. Yeah.

You see, number one's going to be Vanilla Ice. Oh, Dana Ice is going to be number one. He did a whole wrap about it, yeah. Yeah, that is true. Incredible. I mean, you want to talk about comedy music. Yes. You got to talk about it.

Yeah, but yeah, we're going to Europe in April, 2026. You're doing 20 European dates. Yeah, yeah, all over. And we might have, might throw in some smooth jazz dates around there, too. Okay. Yeah. Tell me about your smooth jazz act. What inch are you playing in the smooth jazz band?

Suprano saxophone. Jesse. That's the one. It's the dumbest one, which is why I picked it. I was a music major in college and did a lot of jazz and just wanted to get back into it. And I decided to get a saxophone, which I hadn't had for a while. And I picked soprano because it's the stupidest one. It is very stupid.

And I realized a few years ago, all of my favorite music was the same genre, which was, is this bad? And I was like, I want to make that kind of music. Succoor. Yeah, it's like, it's music, what I, smooth jazz is what I find, it's the, like, the best musicians in the world making the worst choices possible. Yeah. Have you seen the Kenny G., the Penny Lane, Kenny G. documentary? No. Oh, my God, it's so good.

Listening to Kenny G. It's like the best. And so, yeah, I decided to start making pseudo-comedy smooth jazz in an effort to make something that's targeted to appeal to literally nobody. My late uncle was genuinely one of the nicest human beings I've ever met in my life. Miss Wayne very much. And he had been some kind of engineer in his career. But he was a lifelong music nut, like a passionate music player played in bands. I think he was in the band when he was in the service.

But like played in bands throughout his career, his favorite movie was Drumline. Hell yeah. I like Drumline. And Wayne and my aunt, Deb, missed my wedding because they were on the Dave Cause Cruise. Oh, okay. The Dave Cause Cruise. I really want to go on a Dave Cos Cruise. I had a, you know, I travel with the saxophone around.

I had a lovely conversation with a airline, you know, a check-in person in Kansas City about how she and her husband for their 50th anniversary were about to go on the Dave Cos Cruise. Wow. And it sounds so fun. Have you seen the... This is, because here's the thing. You could be toting around that soprano saxophone. You could have been a music major in college. You could be into jazz fusion.

Oh. Going full smooth jazz is some next level shit. It is a choice and it's, that stuff is so fascinating. Could just be you listening to Weather Report, which I've done my fair share of course. Right. But yeah,

there's something about smooth jazz, which is just like fascinating. You're like, throw some strings on this bitch. Yeah. Like, let's use the worst keyboards we possibly can to make, to do this. No Creed Taylor, no Creed Taylor domestic. We're going all international. We, I just got back from a making my next album for that in Toronto.

And the fun part is you get to use all these like vintage 80s since you're talking M1s, DX7s, Juno's, all the stuff. Because that's, that's the sound. Yeah. You're by the way listing Lamborghini. No, that's right. Okay. So that's, that's the fast car I want, is an M1. Is an M1.

Which, do you know what? M1. Do you have any context of this? No. It's the thing that does the slap bass from Seinfeld. Oh. That is the chord M1. Yeah. Do you like bring in do bring in ringers? I mean, I guess the ringers is a broad category now that every person that ever went to Berkeley School of Music has their own funk band. Yes, pretty much. And they're all with a white lady singing. And they're all playing like I saw snarky puppy at the orfume down here. They're playing these. When I was in college jazz was like dying. And now these amazing bands are playing

like these huge venues. It's awesome. These soulless hyper-competent monsters. I did see you at the Snarky Puppie show. The opening act was a guy in a trio lead instrument hammered dulcimer. Oh. Oh. Yeah. House of Leaves. Is the theremin back?

I think the phermin never went away. That's first of all. Look, we went to UCC and a cruise. You don't have to explain to us that the hermin never left. I just put out a song with a theremin. Okay. Ninja Sex Party, our Halloween song this year was called Zombie Handjob and features a

brand is strong. As a layer a therman. Can I tell you something? We just did this Santa Cruz Bullseye show. Yes. And I had to, we had to book a music act and we ended up booking the Merman who were amazing,

a fantastic sort of psych surf band. I heard them on your... Santa Cruz Legends, they were so great. But before we figured out, that the merman were bookable we had this long period of time where we were desperately googling the phrase santa cruz band and failing to find anything that we would be willing to put on the radio willing to put that that's like just just the just anything with a fucking kazoo and a banjo is a fucking santa cruz band apparently yeah it was a nightmare and so i was just

like fuck it and i said to my colleague richard works on bullseye i was like richard call the music department and ask if they have somebody who plays the theramen. I'm like, as long as they're willing to play short songs, everybody will watch the theremin for two minutes and 30 seconds at a 100%. Because it'll be so neat to see somebody doing it. It's the best thing in the world to see someone who can like nail it. Yeah, it'll sound cool as long again. We can't let them play for five minutes or seven minutes. But for two or three minutes, we can have somebody play the theremin. It will be neat. There's an electronic music major at Santa Cruz. Just call the department. Apparently, Apparently right now, there's no theremin players.

So we booked the mariachi ensemble, and then they canceled on us because the Gittaron player graduated. I guess that's what happens when you book college students. Thank God for the Merman, because I really felt like our alma mater had dropped the ball on there. I totally agree. Do you know about the room-sized theremin? What's the room-sized theremin?

It is exactly what it sounds like. Are we in it now? I can only hope. Wow, you are you? God only knows. I guess Theraman, left Theraman, also invented a room you move around in that makes sound. Wow. And it's essentially a room-sized theraman.

That's great. Isn't that, Brad? Oh, my God. That's the sound of ejaculation. Yeah, that would be nice. That would be nice. Oh, zombie hand job. Zombie hand job.

Zombie hand job. Six, seven. In math, this last week, I should say. a fraction came up that they had to divide by which was 7-6th. Oh. And in class, the teacher... Oh, you're talking about in your child's math?

Yes, I'm sorry. Not your math class. In my mind, this was like in the math industry, the field. Which I'm a part of. Like mathematicians were all got together and they're like, we got a new fraction, we got to work on it. We discovered a brand new fraction, that's right. Yeah, a new fraction.

The math teacher refused to divide by. 7-6 because she knew what it would do the class and even that caused a riot wow

yeah it's exciting times in English they refuse to read the biography of skibbitty toilet yeah okay people are gonna freak out

Brian people can find ninja sex party on tour in the great continent of Europe yep including we're talking about we're talking about northern Europe we're talking about

the United Kingdom we're talking about Ireland Ireland yes which is a different country different country we're talking about We're talking about mainland Europe? We're talking about Norway.

We're talking about Norway. We're talking about Sweden. We're talking about Germany, France. Belgium. Belgium for the first time. Will you do me a favor? Yes, of course. Say how to Tintin for me. Hi, Tintin.

Okay. Oh, he does listen to this show. So that you're working out. Hi, Snowy, the dog. Hi, Captain Hattick, the drunk dad figure. Yeah, and a few other countries that I'm forgetting as well. And, of course, people can find you on YouTube and social media as well. YouTube and social media.

They can find my podcast late and night with Brian Wecht on podcast stuff. And if you want to come to Vegas to see me play smooth jazz, people, I have a monthly show there that's going on at the Virgin Hotel and Casino. That's you. That's a hotel and casino for virgins. One room. That is once I get there. Yes. Yeah.

So I'm doing that too. Okay. Great. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design. Thanks to Free Design. Thanks to their label, Light. in the Attic Records. Jordan Cowling is the producer of our program.

You can find us on social media. We are on Reddit. That's our slash maximum fun. We're on Instagram. Jordan David Morris, Jesse Thorne, very famous. We're on Blue Sky. Oh, and we're a Jordan Jesse Goe pod on Instagram. Jordan Jesse Go on Blue Sky.

I'm Jesse Thorne on Blue Sky. Are you Jordan Morris on Blue Sky? I think so. Yeah, we think he is. We're not 100% sure. Why not search for it? Uh, we're on Facebook at Facebook.com slash, uh, Jordan Jesse go. Great place if you want to interact with my aunt Debbie. I'd love to post a lot of memes there. Sounds fun. Yeah, like I said,

RIP, Wayne, we love you. We miss you every day. Debbie's still working her match there on Facebook. Other Dave Cause memes? Oh, I wish. There's got to be some Dave Cosmeans. I can tell you exactly the source for them. There is a live performance on YouTube of his hit song together again. Right. He's really giving it to that drummer. So I think that's the place you want to get. Wait, when you say giving it to him, you're talking about plowing him? That may be the case.

He's rubbing his little head as he's taking the soul. What happens in Vegas? He's doing wide claps like this with the slow wide claps. He's wearing a little vest. It's amazing. You know what? I was at this thrift store today, Jordan. We're ending the show.

I was at this thrift store. This is just for my buddy, Jordan. And they had two saxophones for a song. I picked one up and I carried it all the way over to where Gracie was all the way across the store and I just went

sax on my phone Oh, from the Simpson It's your favorite show, Jordan That's your favorite show Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Goff I'll hug you and kiss you and love you Love you love you

Love you Love you Love you Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.