Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Rank the Darths, with Nick Wiger

Starting point is 00:00:00 Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, loving this weather. Okay, Jordan, let's talk about this weather and what you're loving. Well, it's raining here in SoCal and let me just say we needed it.

Starting point is 00:00:24 SoCal, Southern California just say we needed it. SoCal, Southern California. But something I like about- Wait, hold on, Jordan. Can I just say one thing? These SoCal drivers, they don't know how to handle the rain. Yeah. I mean, it's like they've never seen it before.

Starting point is 00:00:39 405. 405. 405. 405. To the 134 So yeah, I mean in addition to we needed the rain, you know fun to fund it fun to fund to wear a cardigan fun To wear a sweatshirt all this stuff. Look at me. I'm wearing a cardigan right now. You are a sleeveless cardigan Oh my god, that's a show of my god

Starting point is 00:00:59 Yeah, it's a sleeveless cardigan. No shirt. Yeah It says dump them out in the back No pants. Dick out. Can't lose. No pants. Dick out. Can't lose.

Starting point is 00:01:13 Sure. Friday Night Lights, I guess? I never watch it. Yeah, that's Friday Night Lights. I know. I need to. I need to. There's just so much TV.

Starting point is 00:01:22 So something I like about The Rain is that there's a built-in casual interaction that I think is always a hit. OK, let's hear it. So I used this today, pulling up to MaxFud HQ. There's a parking lot, and there's a parking lot guy. Yeah. It's the same guy. It's always the same guy.

Starting point is 00:01:39 Always the same guy. And he has not learned my name, nor have I learned his. But we've been interacting awkwardly for 10 years. He's both friendly and suspicious. Sure. Like of others. Right, yeah. And I get it.

Starting point is 00:01:52 You run this parking garage in this high traffic urban area. You probably have people trying to sneak in, park for events for free. Plus, if you're going to be the king of something, be the king of it. Of course. Yeah, exactly. So I always have a hard time interacting with this guy but since it's raining I pulled over and you know

Starting point is 00:02:11 knocked on his little kiosk to get his attention and I and I dropped a stay and dry? Yeah. And he's like I'm trying trying okay, and it went great. I love staying dry I love I love staying dry as a casual interaction. That's really one with a guy Can I tell you the casual one sentence experience that I had to know I would love to hear you know My daughter grace is obsessed with common-sense media Yes, remind me what that is like a Christian organization that reviews movies. So I don't think they're Christian. It is like a parents organization that reviews movies.

Starting point is 00:02:52 So they're just uptight for no reason? Yeah. So part of it is... Come on, at least have The Lord as an excuse to be... There's Zoroastrians, Jordan. It is actually, I think it's a great website. They make like little reviews of media and then they tell you about what is in the media

Starting point is 00:03:12 so that you can decide whether it's appropriate for you. Kids, they do a great job of doing that. And it's not super preachy. It's not super preachy, it's not super prescriptive. They're not weird. But my daughter got obsessed with them as a small child and has just been obsessed with them ever since and she usually is just getting mad at them. And for some reason, for some reason-

Starting point is 00:03:31 That's me like me in a GamePro magazine. Exactly, exactly. And for some reason she was looking at the reviews of the film Yogi Bear, starring Andy Daly. You know the film. I don't think I oh, yeah sure This is like this is like mid mid 2010s. Yeah mid 2010s live-action Yogi Bear And there was a review that she just sent me from reviewer Raptor 69 mm-hmm, which

Starting point is 00:04:02 What does that mean it's to say this, this is not a common sense media employee, this is like a user, right? This is a user review. So kids and grownups can each leave their reviews and say what age they think it's appropriate for. And so then part of the information you get is parents say that it's for on average kids 12 and up, kids say it's for kids 10 and up, whatever.

Starting point is 00:04:24 So is it possible that the 69 is not part of the username, but the age that they feel Yogi Bear is appropriate for? Respect your elders, Jordan. Sure. No, I will. I do. That's why I want them to watch Yogi Bear. This is an adult.

Starting point is 00:04:41 It's marked as an adult. Yeah. They said age six plus, two stars out of five, with all due respect to the great Andy Daly, maybe the funniest person in the world. A fair review. I've seen the film. CGI? CGI is not the answer to every movie. That's the review. I don't know. Maybe they should have got a real but a real hat on a real bear Making me a real picnic basket sure got a real bear. I got a real bear That's all just that's CGI is not the answer to answer to every movie. Is every movie a question?

Starting point is 00:05:19 I always like the idea of like what's what's the answer to Yogi Bear? How do we yeah, It's a time when- This timeless tale. You know, if they had said T.J. Miller is not the answer to every movie, that would have been both temporally in terms of where we were at as a country, it would have been an important point to make, and it would have been accurate in terms of the film Yogi Bear. Anyway, Jordan, it's the Max Fund Drive. It sure is. Congratulations to us, by the way. Yes. Here's to us on the Max Fund Drive.

Starting point is 00:05:49 We have created a brand new podcast only for Maximum Fund members. And we are here to announce it is probably the most important podcast ever created. Yes. It's called... Podcast Movie Movie Podcast. Podcast Movie Movie Podcast. Parentheses, we also sometimes talk about shows. And this is a podcast where we recap and review movies that have podcasters in them. We then grade them as on the quality of the representation and whether we would listen to the podcast that the podcasters make. The inaugural episode, we've already taped it, should be in your Max Fund bonus feed as we talk. Yeah, maximumfund.org slash join if you haven't joined yet.

Starting point is 00:06:41 We recorded it with Great Linda Holmes, a podcaster herself who has written... A novel set in the thrilling world of podcasting. And we watched the pilot to the one season Zach Braff sitcom, Alex Inc. Which you'll be surprised to hear fucking sucks. It sucks maybe worse than anything I've ever watched to talk about on a podcast. Truly excrucible.

Starting point is 00:07:03 And I had the incredible experience, like just an absolutely breathtaking experience, which was we talked about the show. We watched the show, we talked about it with Linda. We bought the show too. It's not streaming anywhere convenient. You got to pay two bucks an episode for Alex Inc. We're probably going to have to go back to the Alex Inc. well at some point. We're going to pay two more bucks to watch other episodes of it.

Starting point is 00:07:26 Anyway, we watched it. It was horrible. It was a fucking nightmare. And then my wife and I went out to dinner. That's nice. It was really nice. It's, look, I got, my kids have a lot of needs. Gotta have me, ma, and pop pop in town, plus a babysitter for my wife and I to leave without them. And so it's really special when we get to go out to eat. I gotta say, if there's one thing I love more than an easy, casual interaction, it's dinner with a wife. Wait a minute, what wives are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:08:01 Any wife! If you're out there and you're a wife and you want to grab dinner, give me a call. My wife and I went out to Children's Hospital of Los Angeles for a little protest, did a little protesting. That was nice. And then we were in Silver Lake, went to a nice restaurant in Silver Lake. I hadn't spent any time in Silver Lake in quite some time Out at this nice restaurant sort of you know upscale restaurant Look over at the table next to us. Yeah, it's the female lead from Alex. Ink. Whoa I had been just been talking about how horrible Alex. Ink was to my wife I hope she didn't hear because she is pretty good in Alex

Starting point is 00:08:44 Not her fault not Yeah, not her fault. Not her fault. Not her fault. She seems nice. She seems nice. Hopefully she got health insurance points. Yeah. Anyway, should we introduce our guest on the program?

Starting point is 00:09:00 This guy's probably, this guy probably wrote the pilot for Alex Inc. He's one of podcasting's brightest stars, Jordan. One of podcasting's brightest young stars. A star on the ascent as one of the hosts of The Doughboys, as well as one of the hosts of Get Played, our old friend, Nick Weiger. Wow, hey buddy, thanks for having me. What a hoot. Can I just say, for people who are already familiar with the Nick Weiger brand, you know,

Starting point is 00:09:26 people who have some familiarity with the Nick Weiger brand, and they're wondering, is this a show that Nick is putting on for the people? You know what I mean? Is this just some fucking facade that he's pulled over his face to hide the real Nick Weiger? Am I a fucking phony? Is this guy a fraud? Is this guy the worst kind of person which is a fraud or hypocrite?

Starting point is 00:09:48 not a bad person? Right. That was we know from the internet being a hypocrite much worse than just being bad And the answer is no, this is the real Nick Weigert That's the fifth time since I saw him 20 minutes ago that he said hey buddy. Wow, you've been tracking Okay, well you said it when you came in, I said, there's there's our friend Nick Weigars famous catchphrase. I heard it before I even gave you a welcoming hug to Maximum Fun. Then I heard you say it a few more times. I was just thrilled to get the full Nick Weigar. I haven't seen you in

Starting point is 00:10:20 person in a while. Really glad to get the Nick experience. I'm thrilled to be here. A longtime Maximum Fund supporter. So thank you, Nick. So I'm wishing you well with the drive as always. I am so intrigued about Alex Inc. Because this is, I think, the first I've ever heard of this show. Okay, so.

Starting point is 00:10:38 What is the premise? This show was based on the early, like second podcast wave hit show startup that was the origin of Gimlet Media. Okay. A non-fiction show about the creation of a podcast network. Yeah. That, you know, with all due respect to the man who created it and started that network, who from everything that I understand is a good guy.

Starting point is 00:11:09 I've never met him, but he came from public radio. People I know in public radio that know him like him. So we wish him the best. Bases covered. Okay, great. I just want to, and I never listened to the podcast startup, but nothing made me angrier in my life than people telling me about that podcast. Or just the general idea as an entrepreneur myself that entrepreneurs are fundamentally

Starting point is 00:11:34 good people and not fundamentally bad people. Nick, I bet as someone who hosts the food podcast, you maybe have a similar phenomenon like every time Wendy's puts something new on fries, people probably flood your various channels. I'm getting a lot of texts on whatever new abomination has been crafted by some fast food chain or whatever new crossover. SpongeBob is doing a new shake. I'm getting a million texts about that, which is fine. I'm happy to receive them happy to answer. It means people are thinking of you.

Starting point is 00:12:07 Yeah, it's nice. So Alex Inc combined that sort of vibrant, powerful intellectual property, a nonfiction podcast about entrepreneurialism with another vibrant cultural force, beloved sitcom actor Zach Braff, and filmmaker Zach Braff, at the peak of his powers, desperately mugging, just desperately trying to get anything funny to happen, into a hybrid workplace family sitcom about a guy starting a podcast network that featured in its trailer which was the only part of the show that I watched when it was on television a Scene from the pilot where the son says to the dad Nobody thought radio was cool. And then you did it

Starting point is 00:13:03 No, but when you did it, it was magic. Right. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody thought radio was cool, but when you did it, it was magic. It has the flawed premise that people think podcasting is cool and not something that losers do. Right. Is it single cam? Is it multi cam? It's a single cam. Okay. It's a single cam. So it's going for kind of like a little bit more of a prestige-y sort of feel to it. It's very network television. Yeah. I think it is probably trapped betwixt the two in an awkward way.

Starting point is 00:13:33 I think that there is mugging that would suggest there's a studio audience, but also some awkward kind of dramatic stuff that doesn't really... So yeah, I- It's one of those things that came in the wake of the office and modern family and the idea that like maybe network television sitcoms should be good in a way that people who are snobby about TV shows might like. And that's how like by being so good, that's how you would make a successful TV sitcom. Whereas I think now

Starting point is 00:14:14 they just make CBS sitcom, like everybody just makes CBS sitcoms. They're all trying to make a Chuck Lorre simulacrum. The thing that I was realized that I was picturing in my head when you're talking about Alex Inc Inc And I guess Zach Braff was not a part of this But there was a weird sitcom where the premise was about like a call center in India that they sent like a it was a fish Out of water like American to go manage right and it was by all accounts Weirdly racist in its entire conception. I'm sure yeah, I think there's probably something that happens when You know when something becomes zeitgeisty.

Starting point is 00:14:46 Podcasts, call centers, someone with a lot of TV credits. Cavemen. Cavemen, yes. Cavemen selling car insurance. I think there's probably like, if you reach a caliber of showrunner guy, you can just go into an office and say like, Stanley cups, and they have to at least consider your show. Right, wasn't everyone trying to pitch like an Amazon warehouse show for a bit?

Starting point is 00:15:09 Like I feel like that was it. Yeah, I feel like you hear a lot of that. And then I also think it also happens the other way around which is just an executive hears that listens to that Gimlick podcast and is like, oh, I wanna make a show about this and then just solicits pitches and green lights one of them and it sucks. I think that one of the things that has struck me lately, I happened to go to a show business

Starting point is 00:15:37 meeting. It was regarding parents of transgender children, strategy for parents of transgender children in public. But there was show business people that were there other than myself and maybe a spouse or two. And there was a guy there, very nice, who had two shows on CBS right now, currently has two shows on CBS. and I was like, oh right. There are CBS shows still Like yeah, I other than Yosemite Which you know, you can't you can't miss that Yosemite. You know, Yellowstone me Yellowstone. There you go There should be a Yosemite though other than Yellowstone and like that's the that's the gritty Yosemite Sam live action show

Starting point is 00:16:24 And like that's the that's the gritty Yosemite Sam live action show Jordan CGI is not the answer to CGI is not the answer. Listen, can we get Sam Elliott put a big red mustache on him? Yeah You know, maybe you got a slowed down version of the Looney Tunes song for the trailer like Wow And then you see these kind of Western scenes. Just pitch the biggest college humor video of 2011. And then trailer ends with him looking into the camera going, I hate that rabbit. Boom Yosemite. Outside our office the other day, they were shooting the Fox network show 9-1-1. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:17 Which is its own special kind of network television show. It is not like a CBS show because it is that sort of insane semi campiness of Ryan Murphy that reflects Ryan Murphy's aesthetic, I think. And you know, our old pal Brian Safi is on there. You know, it's a very interesting show in many ways. Base is covered. But I have nothing bad to say about it. I just was out, they just had a bus on fire outside the office and I was like, oh right,

Starting point is 00:17:46 there's still TV shows that have buses on fire. Sure. Like just some, but there's still like, there's still a few places in show business where they're just like, well it's gonna cost a million dollars to light this bus on fire. And somebody's like, yeah, write the check, we got all these ads from The Prudential or whatever.

Starting point is 00:18:05 Right. You can throw an ad on the side of the bus. Yeah, please do. Hey, there you go. That's using your noggin. I think that's one of the things, too, though. It's like, oh, wait, that's actually shooting in LA. So I'm like, I guess I'm in favor of this.

Starting point is 00:18:19 Why not? Who cares? Let's get some people paid. Yeah, sure. You know what? If you would like to see your favorite podcast light a bus on fire, maximumfun.org slash join. It's the Max Fun Drive.

Starting point is 00:18:31 We'll light a bus on fire. We don't give a shit. We're not even going to wait until the Kings win the Stanley Cup, like most Angellino's. Nick, you got Darth Maul socks? I do have these Darth Maul socks. Wow. And I'm not trying to show them off. But my cuffs of my pants are just kind of sneaking up a little bit. So yeah, you might see a little Darth.

Starting point is 00:18:49 I've got a this cut this sock company Stance has a had a few Episode one tie-in pieces. So I got these I got some Jar Jar socks and I got a Jake Lloyd shirt. Pretty happy with all of them. I got some Simpsons Stance stuff. Yeah, so what's Jake Lloyd? What's that guy? Jake Lloyd is Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker in episode 1 the Phantom Menace got it So it has his child. So you have you have Boy socks socks with the boy. Well, it's it's a shirt with a boy Would you say Darth Maul is your favorite Darth a Great question ranks rank the Darth's

Starting point is 00:19:35 It feels I mean it feels like the obvious choice, but I think it's got I think Darth Vader's gotta be my favorite Yeah, it's a you know it's a safe. It's a safe answer, but it's the right. It's the correct answer I'm probably go mall second. What about that Darth from? That show girls It's the correct answer. I'm probably go mall second. What about that Darth from that show Girls? Yeah, that Kylo Ren. Not a Darth, right? Is he technically a Darth? I don't know. I think he's a Darth.

Starting point is 00:19:54 It's okay. Well, here's the, and maybe someone who has spent more time in the extended universe can help us out. Is Darth a title? Yeah, I believe it is. Is it like Lord or is it like, yeah. I believe it is or is it like yeah, I believe it is I mean he had no hey Siri is Kylo Ren a Darth Let's see

Starting point is 00:20:13 No, Kylo Ren is not a Sith and therefore not a Darth Wow cuz he is a you know Anakin Skywalker is anointed as Darth Vader It's not when he beat we nice has this like, you know Android form that he it's it's prior to that when he gets the title. So yeah, I think it is a thing that someone is bestowed upon you. Now here's something that you might not know. Not all Darth wear special hats. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, do you consider Darth Sidious's hood a hat? Is a hood a hat? Is a hood a hat? Hey, Siri, is a hood a hat. Is a hood a hat. Is a hood a hat. Hey, Siri, is a hood a hat?

Starting point is 00:20:50 A hood's a type of headgear that covers most of... Well, that doesn't answer the question. What about the hood of an uncircumcised penis? Is that a Darth? That's a type of penis hat, wouldn't you say? I'm thinking in role-playing games, Jordan, like oftentimes a gear that would be a headpiece. Thank you for directing this question to me.

Starting point is 00:21:09 Yeah, a gear that would be a headpiece might be a hood. But also like a cloak that maybe has a hood could also be like going to the cape slot. Nick, you're pointing the wrong direction here. Jordan may be the video gamer between the two of us, but if someone here is talking about which headgear in a video game role playing game, it's gonna be me,

Starting point is 00:21:28 cause I'm the fucking king of Skyrim. Wow. And that's all about wearing hoods. Would you consider, so in that context. Novice cloak, the whole nine yards. Black mage robe. But those are fitting into like your armor slot or like a designated like, you know,

Starting point is 00:21:43 like cape or cloth slot, right? That's not going into the headgear slot. That's going into the armor slot. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if we have an answer here. Yeah. I think it's like, does it provide a stat boost?

Starting point is 00:21:55 If the hood itself provides a stat boost, then it's a hat. But if it doesn't, then it's part of the cloak. You know what's almost never a mechanic? I actually don't know if I've ever seen this as a mechanic in a game, is like having a hood that you like raise and lower. That would be interesting, where like it changes something about your character when you lower or raise your hood.

Starting point is 00:22:13 You've done that in Assassin's Creed at some point? You can put up the hood while you're sneaking through the crowd maybe? I'm less familiar with the Assassin's Creed franchise. I've played a ton of them either. I'm more of a Creed guy. Right, regular Creed. Creed, Creed 2. Standard Creed. Assassin's Creed franchise and put a ton of them out there. I'm more of a Creed guy, right regular creed Standard okay. I thought you were gonna do the the sneaky Christian rock band. Oh, yeah. Sure. They're all good. We like all What would you say is your favorite Creed I think I'm maybe the Creed movies actually like I like the Creed movies generally more

Starting point is 00:22:43 Than the Rocky movies. I like they're good good they're a blast very well. I fucking love those Creed movies I saw when I saw Creed one and they're riding around on those fucking ATVs. I started crying I Fully started crying. I was like this is what I want from cinema is the world's most moving DMX video And I think like Creed the band Creed it also has a sneaky Christian themes Cinema is the world's most moving DMX video. And I think like Creed the band, Creed also has a sneaky Christian themes. Sure. Maybe wouldn't necessarily know it until you go deep. No, I don't know that about it.

Starting point is 00:23:14 Could be. Could be. Could be. Mike, I wouldn't put it past Michael B. Jordan. On the topic of video games, Nick, I was talking about, on a previous episode, a recommendation that I got from you that I've been really enjoying, Dave the Diver. That's right, Dave the Diver is a real hoot. Yeah, and I think maybe this is the closest

Starting point is 00:23:34 I've come to ever enjoying, a cozy game, which I typically don't enjoy. Yeah, I mean, I'd say that's a reasonably cozy game, but it's got like that sort of rogue light, you know gameplay loop So you sure you do have a lot of of action and I think there are The thing that maybe maybe makes it not so cozy is there there are those moments of like being underwater running out of oxygen Which are pretty tense and shooting a shark with a rocket Pretty cozy though that was one of my favorite scenes on All Creatures Great and Small. Right. The new, the rebooted All Creatures Great and Small is when they shot that shark with a rocket launcher.

Starting point is 00:24:08 And let's not forget the Frasier where he gets an electric harpoon. Some of our favorite cozy shows. Get over here, Niles. I want a harpoon, yeah. But, but Nick, you'll do a cozy game every now and then. You'll do like a cafe simulator or something like that. Yeah, sure. I mean, I had a lot of fun with Coffee Talk, which is very cozy.

Starting point is 00:24:31 There's a sequel out and that's just a game. You're kind of just chilling in a coffee shop managing it and having conversations. It's basically a visual novel, having conversations with all manner of high fantasy creatures, although I guess it's a low fantasy setting because it's like kind of like an alternate reality Pacific Northwest coffee shop. Yeah, so don't at Nick. I corrected myself. This guy doesn't know the difference between high fantasy and low fantasy.

Starting point is 00:24:55 There was a... Nick, what's your top fantasy? In the words of Ludacris. Yes. So there's a... There's... You know, you're doing this, it's just real chill vibes throughout and a big part of it is you're just making beverages for people that come in and then so there's like a little bit of like whatever, you know, someone's ordering an oat milk latte

Starting point is 00:25:17 and you're figuring out how to make that on the fly. But other than that, you're mostly just talking to like a mermaid or whatever who's having problems with her ex boyfriend. And then, And then the- I fucking hate that guy. I will say there is a character who is a, you know, like the fantasy race of dwarf who is a cop in it. And so I was playing this when I was Twitch streaming a while back and he's a cop and

Starting point is 00:25:41 he specifies that he's lactose intolerant. So you should take that as like, okay, so I know for his coffee order, I don't wanna include any milk. And then everyone in the chat was just saying, milk, milk. So I kept just serving this guy milk every time. He's like, oh no, I'm gonna have diarrhea. Give the pig diarrhea.

Starting point is 00:25:54 Yeah, that's what the Black Panthers would have done. Yeah. If you would be nude and Nick playing this cafe simulator. All pigs get diarrhea. But I think, you know, in terms of like, like more mainstream cozy vibes, I mean, obviously there's the Animal Crossing, but Stardew Valley, I think just is zeitgeist-y,

Starting point is 00:26:17 and Stardew Valley is just like so chill. And that's probably what kind of got me into it. Stardew Valley is the furthest thing from chill for me. You don't feel chill in that game. I don't because I feel like, because I did play a lot of Stardew Valley, but I was playing it so compulsively. Like I was getting nothing out of the experience

Starting point is 00:26:37 other than obsessively clicking a button to get a, you know, to get a grape. If you try to min-max it and you're playing it with a spreadsheet You're trying to optimize it. Yeah, it can be a pretty stressful endeavor and you are time limited So yeah, it's I I get what you're saying, but there's a way to play that game. That is very chill So what so I guess going back to Dave the diver like a big part of a cozy game is kind of what you make Of it because you can turn any of these into a stressful experience. I made them optimize them I made the mistake of for years. There's a cozy game is kind of what you make of it because you can turn any of these into a stressful experience. Try and optimize them.

Starting point is 00:27:05 I made the mistake of for years there's a baseball video game called Out of the Park Baseball and it has a weirdly complicated interface and I had like downloaded it one time and then been like, this interface is too complicated. Fuck this shit and deleted it. And I made the mistake like Nine months ago of learning how to use the interface now just I'm throwing my entire life down this shithole Pretending to be own my own pretend baseball team right talk about doing something compulsively with no payoff at all There's not even fucking graphics

Starting point is 00:27:44 There's not even like I. There's not even like... I know, I like a game with an end, you know? I like some sort of end screen, some sort of credits to roll, you know? You want to accomplish something. Yeah, sure. I want to know, I want permission to stop playing. I just came, by the way, guys, from game heaven.

Starting point is 00:28:01 I went on our friend Jonathan Colton's cruise this past week. The Joko cruise, Joko of course, short for Jonathan Colton. And this is like he has- What's cruise short for? Cruceteen? Oui baby. Right. You know, we had a cruise years ago. Decade ago, we had BoatParty.biz, the Max Fun cruise, but we had a couple hundred people

Starting point is 00:28:30 on a big cruise ship. Jonathan has all of a medium large cruise ship, so thousands of Joko people. Everyone there is a Joko person. And the main shit that's going down is they have on this fucking cruise, I swear to God, I talked to Paul Sabourin of Paul and Storm, who's one of the guys that runs this thing. They have over one ton of board games. Jeez, that's wild. How do they weigh the board games?

Starting point is 00:29:01 They have to bring them in like fucking containers, like ship containers. This is a ship container of board games. These aren't the board games brought by the people on the cruise. These are like board games that have been shipped in. Yeah, they ship in a ton of board games for the purposes of this thing. It's like shrimp and board games. Yeah, exactly. And then there's a bunch of, you know, Nintendos. Cool. There's a bunch of Nintendos. I've played a little bit of Teenage Ninja Turtles

Starting point is 00:29:29 number three, Turtles in Time. Four Turtles in Time? Anyway. Yeah, which one is Turtles in Time for Super NES? Was the second one of those? Yes, TMNT, the arcade game was followed by Turtles in Time, which also was a cabinet. Yeah, I think that was the second one in Super Nintendo.

Starting point is 00:29:47 Anyway, I played a bunch of that with my daughter. Went to see our friend Bill Corbett and Janet Varney and Paul F. Tompkins. All passed Jordan Jesse Gokes to a movie riff of Supergirl the Movie. I think the most magical moment for me of the JoCo cruise, there was an improv show with some of our friends from the Magic Tavern. Oh, yeah. And Janet and Paul and a couple of other folks. And there was a monologist there. And at some point the monologist said, I have a lot of problems with proprioception,

Starting point is 00:30:26 which is if folks at home don't know, that's a sense of where one's body is in space. Yeah. Fucking applause break. Okay. Like five second applause break. Somebody said, I have a lot of trouble with proprioception. The crowd went apeshit. Like, woo!

Starting point is 00:30:44 We also run into things! Aaron Ross Powell So I mean, it's just a very elegant sentence, too. It's just nice to hear. But I might have been among those cheering onlookers because I feel like I can relate to that. I'm always hitting my head on shit. I'm spilling things all the time. I feel like that has to be proprioception related. Yep. A lot of people on that boat, not modulating the volume and tone of their voice effectively. It was a really great time. There was an amazing moment where the cruise, it's like a week, something like that, and

Starting point is 00:31:29 there's three of the days you're on land. So we had a day at an island that's owned by the cruise line. Honestly, that's my shit. Big land guy. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, definitely more of a land guy. Nick, would you cruise or have you cruised? I've never been on a cruise. I don't think I could bring myself to be on a cruise.

Starting point is 00:31:50 Right. Yeah, I think I'd be too... I think it'd be a combination of seasick and claustrophobic. You don't really get seasick. You'd be surprised that you don't really get seasick because the ship is so huge That what rocking is happening is very gentle and you get used to it very quickly got it But rocking is happening is in your cabin. Yeah When you got a ton of board games, you know, you're gonna fuck There was a oh I got a Monopoly hotel in my ass there was a moment We got off in San Juan, Puerto Rico which I didn't make it past old San Juan old San Juan very beautiful place and

Starting point is 00:32:42 There is like a cruise terminal there place. And there is like a cruise terminal there. So multiple ships are there. And there was another ship even bigger than ours that was the totally eighties cruise. Wow. Nice. And just watching all these people who were there for Sheila E and Men at Work, which fucking enough respect to both Sheila E and Men at Work, both great acts that I would have loved to have seen. Just piling out with their, you know, retro electric orange and green t-shirts and- Or workout jumpsuits, things like that. Non-ironic mullets, etc., etc., like, you know, striper t-shirts and shit, next to just everyone who's just wearing mermaid tails and shirts that say, give me the code and nobody gets hurt, just parallel as they walk down this long, just a really magical experience.

Starting point is 00:33:43 And then just they would, their eyes would lock and they would say, I have nothing to offer you. I have nothing to offer you. I have nothing to offer you. Exactly. It's like T-ball team. Exactly. Saying good game.

Starting point is 00:33:53 I found myself wondering like as that was taking place, if the people from the 80s cruise would try to take Amy Mann from us on the nerd crews. Oh yeah. Wow. I think if you're right, if you are a part of enough different fandoms, you could probably just like get off an island, jump onto the next cruise. Yeah. You know?

Starting point is 00:34:16 It was a trip to be there to see Amy, another past, beloved past Jordan Jesse Go guest, of course, one of the only Jordan Jesse Goh guests to ever record an original song about your cat bug. But it was a trip to see Amy on that cruise because like, they might be giants were on the cruise. So Flansburg says hi, by the way. And there was, you know, for that crowd, I would say they might be Giants, probably the rockinist band that's going to go over really well there. People like, there was a lot of fans of theirs there, you know, like it was, it landed really well. And but to this crowd, legendary singer-songwriter Amy Mann is just Colton's bassist. This experience of watching

Starting point is 00:35:09 Amy sing, she did a full, like there was a review the first night where everybody, all the musicians on the boat did like one song. And Amy sang, I can't remember what song it was, but it was a full parody song. Like it was some song with fully rewritten lyrics about Jonathan Colton and the Colton Cruise that Amy Mann was- It was not a cover of Eat It. No. That's kind of what I thought. I'm like, oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:35:37 But like to just watch perhaps the most dignified human being I know on earth, just be a full-scale novelty musician, much more of a novelty musician than Jonathan is, for example. Jonathan, very emotional novelty songs, or very funny not novelty songs. But to see Amy Mann be the coolest, most beautiful person I know on earth, just stand next to Jonathan playing bass for these people that know every word to Jonathan's songs about zombies was just gorgeous. Just tremendous. I just thought, what a nice thing for her to take a break from winning Oscars and shit. I feel like we all kind of missed a boat. Whenever I hear about the themed cruise,

Starting point is 00:36:31 I feel like there's an alternate timeline for all of us where we become a Vice journalist that goes on the cruise and reports back on it. Oh, sure, right. And I kind of miss it. I should have put in the effort, gone to journalism school, whatever, and then I could have gotten a free ticket to the Juggalo cruise to write about it for Vice.

Starting point is 00:36:49 I spent a week on the Babylon Five cruise, here's what I found. Right, sure. But it's a thing you can pay like- On mushrooms, and heroin. And then you got paid like $150 for it. Right. Yeah, I'm just fascinated by, A, the economics of it.

Starting point is 00:37:04 There are enough of these cruises where I'm like, I guess there just is an audience for of enthusiasts of hardcore fans that will go to, you know, a bunch of these to sustain this. Um, you know, culturally speaking, I am not aligned with the idea of going on a cruise, right? Like I'm definitely, I'm not even aligned with like going to Hawaii for vacation. Even that makes me uncomfortable. I'm a hundred percent to let's go to Budapest person when it comes to my trips, you know? But the thing that I learned when I went on my own cruise, when I had my own cruise was, oh, yeah, that's pretty fucking fun.

Starting point is 00:37:46 Right. This kind of rules. And you can have as many cheese fries as you want. And it kind of get I imagine like the the gimmick of the hook of someone you're a fan of gets people who wouldn't normally go on a cruise to commit like, all right, whatever, I'll go on this cruise. And like, imagine if you're if you're if you're the guy at your office or the lady at your office that loves Jonathan Colton,

Starting point is 00:38:06 you get to go on this cruise. It's 2,000 sweethearts just like you. These people, they're fucking the ocean of sweethearts. Yes. Yeah, like I work at a Best Buy in Omaha. Where am I going to meet a bunch of other Kevin Smith fans? Like, oh, on the US skew cruise. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:38:24 Instead of a ton of board games, a ton of hockey jerseys. Palettes of hockey jerseys. But is that a thing where you're on that cruise and you're at the food court Jamba Juice waiting for a smoothie and Amy Mann is just like in line behind you? Like do you just see all these acts? You just stumble upon them? Yeah. Wow. just stumble upon them? Yeah. And I think Amy is like really, like there was a lot of,

Starting point is 00:38:46 there's a lot of great music acts on the show. There's a woman named Daphne Always, who did a sort of like Daffy Cabaret act that I've loved. She'll come on Jordan Jesse Goh sometimes. She lives in New York. But Amy, I like kept waiting for Amy Mann night. Sure. Like the night when she sings her heartbreakingly beautiful award-winning singer-songwriter songs. But then I was like, oh, no, she's just here because she's buddies with Colton and she's just going to play bass in Colton's band.

Starting point is 00:39:21 This is kind of amazing. Right. I want to say, is part of the reticence to go on a cruise. Yeah. Buffet based. Well, I'm a big hygiene guy. So yeah, anytime I read any of those things about a bunch of people getting whatever, E. coli from a cruise or something like that.

Starting point is 00:39:41 Are you anti-neurovirus? Yeah, I'm pretty anti norovirus Wow fan so like like when I see that those sorts of things that kind of spooks me a little bit I'm also just like I don't like what am I doing? Like I'm just gonna go in this building You are eating soft serve. Let's just go out on this boat and I come back. I'll tell you what I'll tell you what I like up anywhere do you want to only go on a boat if you're moving to the place? I can wrap my head around the brutalist. We're gonna take a boat from from Hungary to So you'll get on a cruise if you're fleeing if I'm fleeing

Starting point is 00:40:17 You're fleeing something a regime, I don't know I I Found first of all, I ate great, ate some tremendous mafongo in San Juan, Puerto Rico. That's fun. Ate like a king. I think like a piece of the cruise experience that I think sort of encapsulated part of its appeal to me was this. I'm there with my kid, we get there and they give you like a hotel style laundry bag and like laundry order thing. And it's a little cheaper than

Starting point is 00:40:55 a hotel, but still, you know, want your sock clean to cost $2. Right. But if you give them $59, they will do your laundry for you all week long and return it all to you like pressed and folded. Okay, that's nice. So I just gave them the $59 and just all week long, I would just, whenever my clothes were dirty, I'd put them in this bag and then they would show back up in my closet pressed. Wow.

Starting point is 00:41:22 That is like a level of luxury experience that while disgusting and possibly immoral for labor reasons is nonetheless a great fucking time. That's interesting. So you don't pack enough clothes to cover the week? Oh no, because they were doing laundry all week. Wow. Yeah, it was incredible. Wow. I mean that does sound luxurious and I do like taking advantage of luxuries if I'm on vacation. Like I'll lean into that. I'll spend that does sound luxurious. And I do like taking advantage of luxuries if I'm on vacation. Like I'll lean into that.

Starting point is 00:41:47 I'll spend money I don't need to spend. Try this on for size, Nick. You sit down in a restaurant when you're on a cruise and look, I don't know. To be fair, I've only gone on a cruise, I did one weekend cruise immediately after the economic collapse and I think that cost $180, which is why I did it. But other than that, I've only gone on a cruise that I was going to for work, the cruises that we did, and then this cruise that I was going on with Jonathan as a semi-performer. But you sit down in a restaurant, they hand you a menu, there's no prices on the menu, and you can order as

Starting point is 00:42:25 many things as you want. Yeah, this I've heard. I've heard it's just like, it's like a free restaurant, which sounds like a little kid fantasy. So I do get the appeal of that. 100%. Like every element of this is for six year olds or people who have regressed to their six year old selves.

Starting point is 00:42:44 Like every piece of this puzzle is all six-year-old shit. There's no sophistication going on in this. Like, other than, you know, a joke that Paul F. Tompkins does on stage, everything else is just shoveling food into your mouth, laying on a deck chair, these types of activities. But it's pretty fun. Wow. Pretty fucking fun. I mean, I will never do it. But I do like I do it. You know, well, unless you're fleeing unless

Starting point is 00:43:14 I'm fleeing. Okay. If you got a fleet Jordan, it's the max fun drive. Let's talk about the max fun drive for a second. So we'll take a quick break from our friend Nick Weiger, because we need people to go to maximumfund.org slash join. Go there now. Because Jordan, it's the Max Fund Drive. We love it. And we love folks who go to MaximumFun.org slash join. It's the Max Fun Drive, the one time a year when we go to you to ask you to support our show so that we can eat.

Starting point is 00:44:09 Thank you to musical guest Adele. Thank you for singing the Max Fun Drive theme song. Adele, America's songbird. I think she's British, actually. I believe she's Welsh, maybe. Might be Welsh. Anyways, we're not here to talk about where Adele is from. Yeah, Welsh of course is part of Great Britain. Wales.

Starting point is 00:44:30 Anyway, is this pertinent to the Max Fund Drive? Yes, that's why we're talking about it. But now, we're moving on to tell you about all the stuff you can get if you support this show and all the great shows on worker-owned co-op MaximumFund.org. Yeah, if you have not been a long-time listener to Jordan, S.E. Gold, or you just need a refresher, most of the revenue that supports this program and its production comes from people who sign up to send five or 10 or $20 a month to the shows that they listen to by joining Maximum Fund during the Max Fund Drive. That is like a significant majority of the revenue that allows us to, you know, pay for

Starting point is 00:45:12 these microphones in this office and for Stephen's salary and our salaries and all of the costs of making Jordan and Jesse go, paying our guests. All of that comes from your membership. So once a year, we ask you to join us by going to maximumfund.org slash join. It's very simple. When you join, you fill out a little thing, you click off the boxes for the Maximum Fund shows

Starting point is 00:45:36 you listen to, and those are the shows that get your money. It is a pretty straightforward and direct system that is built to be that way because we want to work for you, basically. Totally. And I have never been more delighted and relieved to work for MaximumFun.org, a worker-owned co-op that is not a tentacle of a giant evil company. Yeah, especially in these days when giant evil companies have decided that the best way to make money from media is by taking it down and writing it off on their taxes

Starting point is 00:46:19 somehow. Yeah, so it's really nice not to make something for advertisers or not to make something for an algorithm But it's just here is something for weird perverts. Yeah, here you go weird perverts. It's your show You're listening to it. So yeah, it's really nice not to have to think about Yeah, exactly how to you know hook into a trend or Something like that because Lord knows nothing relevant happens on this show. And the fact that we work for you is the reason that we can keep the entire, you know, decade

Starting point is 00:46:53 plus catalog of Jordan and Jesse Goh up on the internet for anyone to access at any time for free is because people like you pay to join and pay to support our work. And like as artists, what we want is for our work to be in the world, right? Like the pain of, you know, Hodgman's stand-up special getting pulled down from Netflix or all the daily show episodes that Elliot Kalin and Dan McCoy worked on being pulled down from Paramount+. Most TV shows I've worked on. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:47:30 Like, is the, you know, we're making art that we're proud of and we want to share. And this is a system that allows us to share. So go to maximumfun.org slash join. Don't wait and do it. You also get all kinds of cool stuff when you join. We've got our brand new show, Podcast Movie Movie Podcast, and sometimes we talk about shows. That is a beautiful new recap show where us and our fun friends talk about media that contains podcasters and we rank its authenticity. We've got Gracie's Game Gauntlet, which is our show where my daughter Grace made us play

Starting point is 00:48:09 half a dozen horrible video games. We have- Stash rules everything around me, our Burt Reynolds review podcast. So much fun, weird stuff. This isn't just something that we do, but every single show on Max Fun does this. They put up bonus content, weird kind of off format funny stuff that we think you're going to love. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:33 You want to hear us do a Jordan Jesse Goat drinking game with Ben Harrison where I got super high off of marijuana soda? We recorded an episode on a little boat out in MacArthur Park Lake. There are video episodes, there are live episodes, all sorts of stuff, hundreds and hundreds of hours of bonus content from every single show. You get to listen to all the bonus content, not just the ones from the shows you support, but let's support all the shows. If you're already a member, you can boost or upgrade your membership, or you can buy

Starting point is 00:49:06 a gift membership, either for somebody you know or for somebody you don't. At the end of the drive, we usually have anonymous gift memberships that we give out to folks who can't afford to become a member and want to access that bonus content. All of that is at maximumfund.org slash join. And relatively new is if you don't wanna pay every month, you can prepay for the whole year. So if you wanna join a $5 a month, you can sign up to just pay $60 for the year,

Starting point is 00:49:35 get it all upfront. And that's actually even better for Max Fund because it's only one round of credit card processing fees. Yeah, hopefully, that is far less than your average streaming service. And that money goes so, so far for Max Fund's bottom line. And it's not a drop in the bucket to your average streaming service.

Starting point is 00:49:57 So yeah, really think about it. If there's something that you signed up for that you're not watching, that you're not listening to, but you do like this show and Max Fun. Maybe consider throwing that money our way. It really, really helps. And just like the reason this show happens is not just because of the folks who give a ton of money, but there's a handful of people who give five bucks a month and that's why

Starting point is 00:50:20 there's a show. Yeah. There has been a real crisis in the podcasting industry the last few years. And it has led to a lot of shows that I love ending, a lot of podcasts, networks going out of business, and a lot of people getting into other lines of work. And at Maximum Fund, the fact that we

Starting point is 00:50:47 are independent and supported by listeners has been the thing that has carried us through that crisis. You know, things are very tight at Max Fund for sure. But the reason we were able to become a worker on Cooperative and the reason that we have been able to weather this storm is because of your direct support. And I hope that you will take the opportunity to join the thousands of other Max Fund members who support this company and these podcasts directly by going to maximumfund.org slash join. That's maximumfund.org slash join. Join.

Starting point is 00:51:33 It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Nick Weiger, autonomous car convert. Okay. So Nick Weiger came here in a robot car. That's right. Which a Waymo. I took a Waymo here. Which I wouldn't have I wouldn't look, Nick Weigert, this guy is

Starting point is 00:51:51 a I know this guy's concerned about the last mile. That's right. Comes to transit. It's a big issue with with public transit. And you know, you're pretty close to the MacArthur Park station, which you know, you can have a it's a short walk, you can get here in 12 minutes. It's a it's very doable. But for a lot of the city, yeah, there is there's a part where like, I can get almost all the way there. But then it's another 20 minute bus ride that I get to wait 10 minutes for to to get to my final destination, and final destination that not in the, you know, ironic death sense. Right. So the I so but I have to go past a like, a shaky truck that has a bunch of construction equipment on it. Your ironic death is purely coincidental.

Starting point is 00:52:37 So I took away... This is the Max Fund headquarters is within the current Waymo service area that they're testing in LA right now. And so I could take go from my home on the west side to here in a Waymo. By far I've taken a few Waymo trips, but they've all just been like, you know, whatever, like a couple of miles just to see this thing, just experience it. This is the first like substantial trip I've taken like, like intra city trip. And and so I just want to see what it was like. And you know what? Incredibly smooth experience in the rain.

Starting point is 00:53:07 I was, I was like, it's one of those things where Waymo is, I don't want to give tech assholes any credit. And basically everything that's happened in tech in like the past, you know, 10 to 15 years has, has gotten worse, right? It's like, it's like, yeah. Can I just say, before you get into that, Please.

Starting point is 00:53:22 Give me the code and nobody gets hurt. Sure. Go ahead. There's a but this is a thing of just like, fuck, this is actually nice. I kind of like it's it's a it feels like a better experience than Uber. And like, like, like, and it like it's statistically safer than Uber. And also, it feels safer than Uber, which is huge for the for the user from a user experience. I mean, the the ride share apps have taken a hard turn towards taxicab in the last five

Starting point is 00:53:53 years. For sure. Like, there was a time when you were like, where you felt like you were, you know, riding with somebody's aunt that had a few hours off. And then in the last five years, it's taken a hard turn towards is this person on crank? you know riding with somebody's aunt that had a few hours off and then In the last five years, it's taken a hard turn towards is this person on crank? Sure, like is this person been driving for 36 straight hours, right? And I've definitely had conversations with people who's like I've been driving for 18 hours straight And I was like this is this not feel safe, but but you know it so it is like it is one of those things

Starting point is 00:54:21 where I was so Opposed to it until I experienced it and then I got in was like, fuck, it's actually good. It kind of pisses me off because it's like such a pleasant experience. And also obviously, it's there's going to be a version that gets janky. There's going to be a version where they take over the market, then they jack up the prices and integrate mobile game ads somehow. Right. Yeah, mobile game ad will be given to you somehow.

Starting point is 00:54:47 Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the microtransactions where I can buy virtual outfits for my way, most. It's going to suck at a certain point, but right now it's priced at a discount and it is like, it feels luxurious. So I've been enjoying it. I mean, it's one of the best ways to get around in a vehicle that has a little hat. Speaking of hats, sure.

Starting point is 00:55:10 Waymo's have a little hat on top. And I'm sure they're monitoring it with cameras. But I feel like at a certain point, you'll be able to jack off, right? Yeah, I think you can safely pull yourself off and set the back. You know, you lay on your face. Yeah. Can I ask you guys your face? Yeah. Out of the camera's view. Can I ask you guys a question?

Starting point is 00:55:26 Yeah. I know that, like, for example, face tracking has come a long way, like, in terms of, you know, just the other day, my daughter was on Judge Sean Hodgman, and we don't like to show her face on camera. But our video guy was like, oh, it's okay. I can use face tracking and just superimpose You know an emoji face on top of her face and I don't have to manually move it around I would have done Goku. Yeah, it could have been Goku and Goku Yeah, I mean it was just an emoji face sure

Starting point is 00:55:59 I mean they'd be you could get an emoji thing now or you can kind of have Goku like have like expressions from an Emoji. Yeah, but that's not what he did Maybe you could get an emoji thing now or you can kind of have Goku like have like expressions from an emoji Yeah, but that's not what he did Yeah, no, I'm just saying was an option. It was an option. Good. I don't think so. I think he needed to go It's fine. You fucked up and it's fine The last couple of wait, hold on yeah, yeah, here's my question sure How is jack-off tracking going? Yeah, I was it's gotten a lot better You could make your dick look like Goku

Starting point is 00:56:35 Say I'm this is powering up. What kind of dick do you think Goku's? Depends if it's before or after he's gone super, I don't know enough about Dragon Ball Z to continue this. That's all I know. I'll tell you this, my youngest had a real Dragon Ball period. They would have been really mad at you for saying Dragon Ball Z, because they're talking about Dragon Ball overall. Right. Yeah, there's no G Dragon Ball and there's an overall overarching mythos. So anyway, so I took this Waymo here.

Starting point is 00:57:06 It did drop me off like a 10-minute walk from the destination, so it's not perfect, but it was overall a much more seamless experience than I expected. I get out, almost immediately a dude with face tattoos starts talking to me, which is fine, whatever. I'll talk to a stranger. All you do is go, stay and dry? Oh stranger and all you do is go stay and dry. Yeah Man, I wish it had stayed dry in my back pocket But this guy kind of hit me with a with a haymaker out of nowhere because he asked me are you a doctor?

Starting point is 00:57:34 Oh boy, I'm not really prepared for this. I was like what like is like, are you a doctor? It's like ah, nah, bro. You're like no, but I have some medical training exactly. Yeah Took a CPR class at the YMCA so I could babysit I could tell us in my interest to code switch a little bit So I'm like not like I'm not sorry bro And he's like he's like he's like I got injected in this arm He points to one arm is like and they said if I got injected this arm my blood would have crystallized I'm like and I just like my mouth is a gate partly because that's my genuine reaction

Starting point is 00:58:02 But partly because I know that that's he wants. Because you have crystal blood. It's hard to move your jaw. Exactly. So I'm like, oh man, that's crazy, bro. And then he holds his hand out for a dap and he's like, life is a poem. Ain't it the truth? And I shook his hand. Ain't it the truth?

Starting point is 00:58:22 That's a really good point. If something miraculous like that happens to you, give us a call, 206-984-4-FUN, or send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org for our legendary segment, Momentous Occasions. Someone has done that. Here is their result. Hello, Jordan. Hello, Jesse. Hello, let's say my real-life cousin big-time Gene O'Neill. This is George from Chicago. I'm just calling in with a momentous occasion. I was up for my last song of the night at karaoke tonight and it's a new debut of a

Starting point is 00:59:03 classic track, Sell Out by Real Big Fish. Got up there, not really sure what the crowd was going to be feeling. It was a pretty full night. And as soon as I started singing it, almost appeared as if summoned like four 40-ish, 45 maybe year old dudes just kind of came out onto the little dance floor in front

Starting point is 00:59:26 of the stage and just skanked the entire time. And I do a lot of karaoke, I'm not quite good at it, but that has to rank as a top five performance really feeding off that energy. So yeah, just go punch a blimp. Bye. I 100% thought the guys were going to play trombone. Or beat the shit out of it. Always a concierge doing, you know, what people feel passionately in both directions about the hits of the Third Wave Ska era.

Starting point is 00:59:59 So a risky, a risky bet to do that at karaoke. But it sounds like it paid off. You know, I said I was a semi-performer on the Jonathan Coulton cruise. I wasn't on the performance lineup, but Jonathan was nice enough to give me, you know, special tickets. And he said, if you want to, you can be on Celebrity Karaoke.

Starting point is 01:00:21 And so I did Celebrity Karaoke. It was the first time I had ever sung karaoke in my life What'd you do? I did ladies who lunch from company. Mm-hmm. It was very nice, but it was it was tough because There were you know 15 people on sitting on the stage Of whom I would say 10 were professional music of whom I would say 10 were professional musicians. So it's like you're sitting there and Paul Suborin from Paul and Storm sang and Molly Lewis sang and Daphne always sang a fucking song and that was I was very grateful to culture critic Maureen Ryan for sharing that stage with me and going up and singing like Bill Corbett went and sang

Starting point is 01:01:16 a song I was so grateful there were a few other non-professional singers to like cover for my inability to. But I feel like you get some goodwill from the audience for being the non-singer who is, you know, does have the guts to actually do it. The level of goodwill in that audience was breathtaking. That's great. And undeserved in my case. Nick, do you karaoke?

Starting point is 01:01:40 Would you ever do it? I have done karaoke a lot. I used to do it pretty regularly and I do want to mention real quick just because the band was real big fish the song was sell out. I was and Jordan I imagine you also cross paths with people in the OC ska scene but I grew up in Long Beach California and I went to high school with two members of real big fish. Hey, okay. Two original members who were on that album that has a sellout on it, turned the radio off. That was before the whole fucking thing fell apart.

Starting point is 01:02:12 It was before it all, yeah. Jesse? Lineage changed a lot. You don't know how right you are. I think it's just Aaron Barrett remains from the original lineup at this point. But yeah, Tavis Warts, trumpet player, and Danny Regan trombone player were both at the end.

Starting point is 01:02:24 It's Aaron Barrett. You got George Harrison the traveling will berries now basically And a very good friend of mine Tavis's younger brother Brandon warts who I still keep in touch with and I believe is a JJ go a listener. So hey anyway So going back to karaoke I used to go to this dive bar called Del Saloon and do karaoke like every week on their karaoke night. And it was this place where it had

Starting point is 01:02:51 us on the west side. We actually went with some Ultimate Improv people at one point. Oh, yeah, sure. Nick and I's, Nick and I's Dear Departed Improv Theater. That's right. And they this, this was like in the era where it was a place that had been grandfathered into still being legal to smoke inside like state like California like bands cigarettes smoking in bars in the 90s but this place was old enough where it still had you people could still do it so they were just like people dragging cigarettes just old-timers just lifers barflies. You still do opium in there if you wanted to exactly But there was this guy the guy apparently there's no divorces in here

Starting point is 01:03:30 So the KJ forces can vote the KJ who ran the karaoke was This this like jacked a special like ex special forces guy who always wore her Hawaiian shirt And he's saying secret agent ma'am. Hell yeah. And there was this other regular... So he's always saying secret agent ma'am? Every week he's saying, like when it was his turn to sing, he's saying secret agent ma'am. Do you think that he had been given a number and had his name taken away? I think he could relate to it on a deeply personal level. That was my suspicion.

Starting point is 01:03:57 So there was also... This is my story. I finally feel seen. There was this other guy who was a regular who had a great voice and he would always do like crooner standards, you know, like Frank Sinatra, Mel Torme. And he had a, he was like an older guy who had like the Kelsey grammar like completely bald on top, but like really growing out the wings. Yeah. Like really flowing back there. So we were at karaoke, that guy had sung, some time had passed, the KJ, that special

Starting point is 01:04:32 forces guy, someone sings, he's talking to the bartender, KJ gets back on the microphone after that guy finishes the song. And he's like, and I don't remember the old timers, the older guy's name who was always singing these crooner songs, but like like let's just say Mike he's like like hey so the KJ gets the gets it yeah can we say Ron we'll say Ron okay the guy's name is Ron so so the KJ gets back on the microphone hey he says can we say but let's call it but his name is but yeah Take that old-timer looks like Kelsey flange now looks like Kelsey Grammer incredible, you know Like the velvet fog mel tormay incredible voice. He's over there at the bar

Starting point is 01:05:15 He's already saying I sang a tune got a rousing ovation The KJ gets on the microphone the sex special forces guy his name and he's like, hey everybody And we all know but right with everyone everyone remembers but everyone like looks over and looks at the, and he's like, hey everybody, we all know Butt, right? Everyone remembers Butt, everyone looks over and looks at the guy, and he's a regular, so people are like, yeah, yeah, right? And he kind of waves at everybody, and the KJ's like, everyone get a good look at Butt,

Starting point is 01:05:33 look over at Butt right now. And everyone's looking there, and the KJ goes, he's been stealing tips from the bar, get the fuck out of here, you're 86! And fucking throw them in the... And everyone turns on the guy, Get the fuck out of here! You're 86! I'm fucking throwing it at you! And then everyone like turns on the guy and says Oh, boo, fuck you!

Starting point is 01:05:50 Like yelling at this guy who's lost it every week They just believed him immediately Just immediately I love that he let him sing first Yeah! Like when he saw it happening, it didn't stop it I Believe the chain of events was The the bartender told the KJ that this had been happening and the KJ was like fucking I'm doing something about it But yeah, he did physically get thrown out of there

Starting point is 01:06:20 He tried to come back in to fight the Special Forces guy and there was like a brief fracas but I never saw him again. Wow. Yeah, it was crazy. I probably wouldn't try and fight a special forces guy. I don't think I would either. Probably a bad idea. Yeah. Although if you got him in the nuts real good.

Starting point is 01:06:34 Sure. What a second act though. Yeah. Can you imagine like you're probably, you know, whatever, you're a forward observer in the coast of a war, you know, shooting white phosphorus at civilians or whatever. And then you come back and you're like, I need to say goodbye to that. And you're just a guy who wears a Hawaiian shirt and shows up and runs a karaoke bar night.

Starting point is 01:06:51 I mean, the piece, the piece of that that makes sense is you do figure that guy lives on a boat. Probably. Yeah. And then once you live on a boat, then it's not a long journey to KJing in a Hawaiian shirt. Exactly. Yeah. Like, but the boat is really the essential connective tissue between the white phosphorus and or the depleted uranium rounds. Right. I could see both those men living on a boat. They maybe live on boats next to each other. Like

Starting point is 01:07:21 one's just a kind of a down and out community college English professor. Man, can I tell you the AP English teacher at my high school fucking lived on a boat. I believe it. Oh, what a sad guy. One time, believe it. One time that guy wrote on one of my papers, I fear you may never take anything in life seriously. Wow. Yeah. What was the paper about? Oh, some bullshit.

Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah. Fucking sense and sensibility, I don't know. When you were a kid and saw the guy who lives in a boat on a movie, for me, I was just like, oh, that's cool to live on a boat. I did not understand that this was shorthand for saying this guy's life is a mess. Yeah. I'll tell you this. I once went to the movie Blade Runner, the director's cut, with a friend of my mom's and his son. This may have even been someone my mom was dating and I

Starting point is 01:08:16 didn't realize it at the time, but it would also not be unusual for my mom to just send me with a random person and their son to see Blade Runner. Yeah. And the thing... It's not weird if there's a son there. Yeah, exactly. The thing that I remember is that, you know, it was like a divorced dad, son lived with him part time.

Starting point is 01:08:35 Kid was not required to brush his teeth as long as he used a toothpick. And he lived on a boat. That makes sense. Lived on a boat, wasn't required to brush his teeth as long as he used a toothpick. Anyway, it's just things I remember. Sure, yeah. Hey, we love our boat people. Maximumfun.org slash join.

Starting point is 01:08:55 We can't do this without you. We cannot. We need you to share our stories of boat people. Let's take one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse and Chris Fairbanks. Got a quick momentous occasion for you. I asked a stranger out for a drink the other day for the first time ever. I'm 59 years old. Love you guys. Bye. You know you've been with your wife Natalie for quite a long time right? Yeah

Starting point is 01:09:24 it's you know we've been dating your wife, Natalie, for quite a long time, right? Yeah, it's, you know, we've been dating since after college. So, you know, it's been 20 years together at this point. And, you know, it'll be 15 years of marriage this year. So have you ever asked a stranger out on a date? I mean, I guess not. I guess probably any time I was dating anyone and at any point of my life prior to us starting to date is it would have been someone who already had some sort of rapport with.

Starting point is 01:09:55 Or like a Craigslist misconnection. Yeah, exactly. But no, I don't think I've ever just cold called. I mean, I know I've just never cold called effectively a stranger at a bar and said, hey, let's go for it. Although this guy, he just set out for a drink. It could have been just a friendly drink. That's true. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:16 Hey, let's go get a drink. I have nothing, I have no interest in you sexually. You seem like a chill dude. I just want to drink with you. I'm just a sad alcoholic with no friends. I know, yeah, that I think is so like overrepresented in media is just like people going up to each other in bars and trying to date each other. Like in my experience, like that never happens ever.

Starting point is 01:10:40 And maybe it doesn't, maybe I'm just in the wrong culture for it. You know, maybe it happens out in the wider world. Well, and I've never, I completely missed app dating. And so that's a black hole to me. Everyone I know who, all of my friends who have experienced with it that seem to have been, found it pretty miserable. But that's now the thing. If you want to just meet a stranger, you go to one of those online dating pools and you try to find it through an app, right? When people are complaining about app dating, it does seem better to me than talking to

Starting point is 01:11:11 strangers in bars. That's right, sure. Like I understand why people are complaining. Like again, I've never app dated. I've never asked a stranger out on a date. I've been with my wife since we were in high school. But it does seem to me that whatever the challenges of going out to dinner with someone who you've only, you know, instant messaged with for a while, they can't possibly be greater than the challenges of going on a date with someone you met at a bar. I was like, when I was like 17, and this is like, you know, very early internet, but I don't know if anyone remembers, obviously we remember AIM, AOL instant messenger, but

Starting point is 01:11:54 there's also ICQ was a similar sort of thing. Yeah, that was a fun one because you had just had a very long number. Exactly. It was like a super long phone number. And that but So you couldn't do a cute name like, you know it was like a super long phone number. And that but- So you couldn't do a cute name like, you know, like water polo dude or something. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:10 Raptor 69. Raptor 69. Yeah. So, but it was a place where you could sometimes like, I don't remember what it was exactly, but I think you could put, you could like manually put your location in and then you could find other people through your location.

Starting point is 01:12:23 So I did like message some, you know, randos through that and meet some people through that Were there any hunks or babes? Well, so here's the thing here's where I was driving So I was I I was talking with this girl off and on for a little bit this girl online at least you know Whatever I didn't never do the details, but about I just sort of like like you know Whatever seemed like a sort of thing where it could where hey we're maybe we're friends and hey maybe we're gonna keep being dry I can help things progress to the point where she asked for a picture but this is like the late 90s digital cameras digital

Starting point is 01:12:59 cameras were not commonplace you had to have like a like a you know like a three-by-five right that you would then like scan. Yeah. Mail me a snapshot your dad took at SeaWorld. Yeah, exactly. So I was like, I didn't have a picture at the ready, but my dad did have a picture of himself that was on our computer. And so what I decided to do in my 17 year old brain is I said,

Starting point is 01:13:25 I look like this only younger. And I sent her a picture of my dad who was then in his mid forties. And she just replied, you don't look 17 and then cut off communication. Wow. Wow. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:40 Well, that's special. Yeah. So, but you're, I mean, that looked pretty good. You look great. Yeah. And that was I mean, you know, pretty good. You look great. Yeah And that was your wife Natalie that was yeah Your dad is your wife Weird I'm getting a phone call. Hello. Yes. This is Jesse. Oh, the weird department is calling you want to talk to Nick?

Starting point is 01:14:02 Why I got a guy whose dad is his wife. Hey, what's up? I married my dad. Yeah, I'll be by later. I love you. See, this is the art that we create that demands that people go to maximumfun.org. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan. join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join,

Starting point is 01:14:25 join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join,

Starting point is 01:14:33 join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join, join.org slash join, sign up at the $5 a month level. The treasure trove of bonus content is overflowing. It's basically at this point, it's like one of those caves full of pirate treasure. Like it used to be a chest full of pirate treasure. At this point, it's a full cave where there's strands of pearls flung about willy nilly. Yeah. The treasure is seeping out onto the sands. That is how much bonus content is up there in the member feed. That's actually oil.

Starting point is 01:15:08 Oh no! Hide the ducks. The sea ducks. So yeah, this is great. We've been putting in bonus content for our 40 years of podcasting. All the shows do it. On Free With Ads, we do a show where we watch Free With Ads TV pilots, and we're going once a month with that, so you can look forward to that.

Starting point is 01:15:27 I'm sure the Judge John Hodgman podcast and Bullseye both have cool bonus content. Yeah, the Judge John Hodgman show, we have the Membo Mailbag, which is a monthly members-only episode where we answer listener questions and solve listener disputes. We also have on Bullseye an entire show dedicated to Bullseye listeners with weird jobs called, Hey, What's Your Job? Where we talk to, like among other things, a person whose job is making robes for Buddhist monks,

Starting point is 01:15:58 as well as a person who works in advertising, but on weekends plays stadium rock shows. That is worth five bucks a month. works in advertising but on weekends plays stadium rock shows. That is worth five bucks a month. And something cool about the Max Fun member levels is that if you give it a certain level, you get that gift plus everything below it. It's cumulative. So everybody, five bucks a month and up, gets the bonus content.

Starting point is 01:16:22 Ten bucks a month, you get the bonus content and you also get one of our show-specific enamel pins. Yeah, the pins are back. They're better than ever. Our friend Tom DJ designed them. There is a pin for every show. And if you remember at the $10 a month or above level, you will get a chance to cop some pins at the end of the drive for charity

Starting point is 01:16:41 if you want more than one. But you get to choose any of the Max Fun shows. We have a beautiful Summer Boy pin this year. Oh, that's it. Look, summer is around the corner. This is the spring break Max Fun drive. So you know summer is next. She's a coming.

Starting point is 01:16:59 And if you're a Summer Boy, you need to have that pin, baby. You got to you got to you got gotta pin that little guy onto your jacket You know hell pin it right into your skin. Yeah, put it in the nip stab it through the nip. Let everybody know You're a summer boy through and through have you seen the bullseye pin? No, I haven't what is it? It's a tote bag It's a tote bag beautiful So that's ten bucks a month. You get the pen, you get the bonus content. 20 bucks a month, you get your choice of gift, a beautiful unicorn-

Starting point is 01:17:31 Hold on. So first of all, there's the bucket hat. Bucket hat, very tasteful choice. I encourage everyone, feel free to choose that bucket hat. If you want to have a handsome bucket hat with the MaxFun Rocketship on it, you can wear it anywhere. Wear it on your spring vacation trip, etc., etc., etc. Then we have the fucking nutso towel. The towel is by far the most remarkable thing we have ever created for the MaxFun drive. It features Nutsy the Squirrel riding

Starting point is 01:17:59 a Pegasus unicorn. Oh, I guess it's just a unicorn. Yeah, not a standard you know, no wings on that But still it's really really crazy. It's psychedelic. It's rainbow color Maybe it might remind you of a Lisa Frank folder from the 90s. Yeah, I've been saying It's like if Lisa Frank went on spring break to Cozumel and did mushrooms for a week Yes, and then the vision was spray-painted on the side of the van That is the beautiful Max fun towel. You can get then the vision was spray painted on the side of the van. That is the beautiful Max Fun towel you can get at the $20 level. $35 a month.

Starting point is 01:18:29 I'm pretty sure the bubble is here from Bubble. Oh, neato. There you go. There's the bubble from Bubble. Yeah. Right there. There's also an eyeball with wings. What shows that from?

Starting point is 01:18:38 Who knows? $35 a month, you get a beautiful cooler and you get all that other stuff we mentioned. There are levels you can give at 50 bucks a month, 100 bucks a month, 200 bucks a month, you can get a Max Fun cassette player and a personalized mix tape. Something for everybody. If you are flush with cash and you love the network, obviously those giant levels are very cool to give at. But if you aren't raking it in but still want to support the shows, five bucks a month is

Starting point is 01:19:07 awesome. Yeah. The thing that I really try to emphasize to people is you don't have to feel like you have to individually fund Max Fun. It's not your job to save us from disaster. What we're asking you to do is participate with thousands of other people. And when you participate and other people participate, it all adds up to we have 40 plus shows, We have 20 worker owners who work at the company. We have dozens of hosts who are getting paid for their shows.

Starting point is 01:19:52 All of this is possible. Not just, I mean, look, if you're gonna give us $200 a month, we're very grateful for it. But it's possible not because, you know, 20 people give us $200 a month. It's because of the number of people who say, this is worth paying for. I'm going to take the step of going to maximumfund.org slash join and just signing up at five bucks a month. You know, five bucks a month is the classic one cup of coffee at Starbucks, you know.

Starting point is 01:20:22 And if you it's going to be like a coffee drink, you know? Yeah. Not just like a black coffee is probably like $3. Sure, sure. Like a coffee drink, maybe something with a squirt of something. Yeah, or an alternative milk. Yeah. Maybe you're getting an upcharge for that.

Starting point is 01:20:36 Yeah. You know what? No matter what, you're gonna want to squirt something in there. Sure. And hey, all the shows on Max Fun, non-dairy. Yeah. Exactly. If you're lactose intolerant, these shows won't give you diarrhea. Yeah. But like, look, you get lots of cool stuff. There's lots of levels at which to join. But like, what we're really asking is for you to participate in media that you really like. Because if you're still listening to us talking about the Max Fun Drive right now, you probably really like Jordan Jesse Goh. We really like because if you're still listening to us talking about the max fun drive right now You probably really like Jordan Jesse go

Starting point is 01:21:06 We really like you and we hope that you will participate in making this show possible by going to maximum fun org slash join Jordan the first episode of Our new podcast. It's only for max fun members podcast movie movie podcast and sometimes we talk about shows. It's about a show. It's about Alex Inc., the truly excreball Zach Braff podcast television sitcom, family workplace sitcom about a based on a podcast about starting a business of podcasts. Well, we recorded this episode with the great Linda Holmes. And it was a great episode of our podcast and a horrible episode of a horrible television show.

Starting point is 01:21:51 So we didn't like it. And you know, one of the many bad things about this experience was we had to pay for the individual episodes because it's not streaming anywhere. Yeah, $1.99 each in Estee. I believe you paid $2.99 because you didn't realize- Like a fucking chump! You wanted to get it in 1080p. Alex looks so beautiful in 4K.

Starting point is 01:22:13 So we didn't like doing this and, you know, we plan on covering a lot of different media in podcast, movie, movie, podcast, but we realized that you sickos out there... Probably just want to make us watch Alex in yeah So here's what we're gonna do we would look we are we gonna watch pitch perfect Too cuz like the all the exposition comes from two podcasters that have a podcast about acapella groups Yeah, sure, but pitch perfect. Two's pretty funny. It's gonna be funny so Here's what here's what we

Starting point is 01:22:45 were doing here. Because we realized that you sickos like pain, you listen to all that fucking Gracie's Game Gauntlet where we played those bad games. Yeah. For every 300 new and upgrading Jordan, Jesse, Go members, we're gonna add one episode of Alex, Inc. to the role of podcast movie, Movie Podcast. I think there's like 10 and all. So, you know, if you want to see us cover the entire series, join up with our tears, cover maximumfun.org slash join, get your friends to join.

Starting point is 01:23:19 What if we get to like episode seven and we get into it? It might happen. It could, maybe it gets better too. I mean, it's a very bad pilot. Probably it gets better, right? Most shows get better. Most shows get better. Pilots are tough.

Starting point is 01:23:31 But, so we'll see, we'll see, we'll see if there's enough support during the Max Fun Drive. I gotta tell you what, I gotta find out what new businesses are starting in that business incubator where they're sharing an office. And does his wife get a character trait? I don't know will his wife get a character trait other than being annoyed with Alex Yeah, we'll see maximum fun org slash join to listen to all of podcast movie movie podcast including our future Alex ink episodes, maybe

Starting point is 01:24:02 Our future Alex Inc episodes, maybe. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Nick Weiger, autonomous car convert. Nick, have you played any interesting games for Get Played lately? You know, I'm always playing stuff.

Starting point is 01:24:20 I'm finally on Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, which was a 2024 release that I never got around to. Jordan, you ever mess around with remake? I did remake and liked it and then stopped playing for a month or something. Yeah. And then put it back in and I'm like, how the fuck do you play this game? Utterly inscrutable. It's a really convoluted game that I really did like remake a lot. Yeah, sounds like a real out-of-the-park baseball Is that sort of thing? It's just like the first ten hours is like just figuring out the UX is like what the fuck do I do?

Starting point is 01:24:54 I don't understand any of this and it just gives you every mechanic right away rebirth is Like the part of the reason was skeptical of rebirth is I played remake is like I feel like I kind of got it and then rebirth is just like I don't know if I was skeptical of Rebirth is I played remake is like, I feel like I kind of got it. And then Rebirth is just like, I don't know if I need more of this experience. And then enough people like telling me to do it. I finally did it. And I absolutely love it.

Starting point is 01:25:13 It's so good. It's like a perfected version of remake. Can I ask you a question? How are the cloaks in it? It's got some good flowing fabric. I'm trying to think of an actual discrete cloak, and I can't think of one specifically, but yeah, it's got good clothing physics.

Starting point is 01:25:30 What would you say are your top video game outfits? Wow. I mean, one of them might be in Final Fantasy VII. Tifa, yeah. Oh, sure, yeah. Functional and attractive. Yeah. Which is what I like.

Starting point is 01:25:46 By the way. She can really move in that thing, you know? She just wears a t-shirt that says Dump About, right? Sure, yeah. Yeah. I realized I was trying to say yee-haw and then I pivoted to meow and so I did a weird portmanteau that was yee-ow.

Starting point is 01:25:59 Yee-ow. It still works. That's what I yell when I'm horny. You still say horny shit. Oh yeah. No, I mean like, I'm trying to think of- Wait, sorry, did I say horny. He's still saying horny shit. Oh yeah. No, I mean, like I'm trying to- Wait, sorry, did I say horny? I meant sit on a hornet nest.

Starting point is 01:26:08 Yes. Yeow. Boy, I'm trying to think, you know, it's like, it's the kind of thing, like you kind of don't want to give just the Darth Vader answer, but you look at Mario's outfit and it's so immediately, instantly, you know, recognizable.

Starting point is 01:26:22 And in every sort of iteration, going back to the jump man era Even though there have been some some palette swaps here and there. It's just like man. That's just such a good wardrobe That's someone I hate to just repeat a meme on our podcast But I'm gonna do it because someone sent me the fucking best meme of Mario meme. Let's hear the meme It was just it was just four panels of Mario looking himself in the mirror the first panel has the Has the inset? One year on T and then the last panel has Mario saying It's a me Mario. Mmm

Starting point is 01:27:00 Beautiful I just thought it was so beautiful I never thought I could be so deeply touched by Mario saying, it's a me, Mario. I think that's the thing about Mario is he's so broadly drawn that you can put any experience onto him. Yeah. Staying in the Nintendo family, I think Donkey Kong, modern, rare Donkey Kong with just a necktie is a very good wardrobe. He looks great.

Starting point is 01:27:24 And then Solid Snake, I think also, just has a really great wardrobe that he's wearing. Donkey Kong does not wear a pant? No, it's just a necktie. Where is his dick? I mean, who knows? But isn't that a case, don't you look at an ape and you're like, where is your dick?

Starting point is 01:27:38 That's a good question. Yeah, what? I'm constantly looking at apes. Nick, how many ape dicks have you seen? You, listening to this right now. They're hiding. Yeah. Yeah, tucked away somewhere That's interesting Nick. I would call your day-to-day wardrobe kind of Diddy Kong Well tank top backpack Peanut gun

Starting point is 01:28:01 And I can can fire in spurts You're to hurt. Hell yeah. I'm trying to think of one more. One more video I like, like great. Why, hey, Dave the Diver in his little wetsuit. Oh yeah, she looks great. Any suit I'm wearing becomes a wetsuit when I see Dave the Diver.

Starting point is 01:28:19 You know another- Because you piss in your pants? Yeah, I piss in my pants. You're so afraid. Oh, he's going to shoot me with that rocket launcher. There's definitely some obvious ones I'm overlooking, but another one that comes to mind also in the Final Fantasy family, and this ties in with Cloak's, is the black mage outfit. Just like the little hat and the robes and the completely hidden face.

Starting point is 01:28:39 Screams Final Fantasy. Yeah. Okay. Next question. What's a chain food item that you've eaten for your podcast, the Doughboys, that you've enjoyed lately? A chain food item that I've enjoyed lately. You know, I'm really on a handles kick. Have you all tried handles? What is handles? It is an ice cream shop, a kind of an old-fashioned style ice cream shop.

Starting point is 01:29:00 A 1945 founded Ohio ice cream parlor that is, you know, appropriate enough frozen in time. And as the sort like it feels very much like a like a you know, like a like a step into the past in a good way. But it they make also make all their flavors in house. So like like it's all like, it kind of mixes the old world charm of a of a classic parlor with the the freshness and quality product that you will get from one of these like gentrified fancy pants places like a Jenny's or a salt and straw. So it's to me it's it's my favorite ice cream. And I have no reason to be a partisan for it because it's from Ohio. It's not a thing I grew up with another thing I have nostalgia for but they've expanded to California. You have nostalgia for a pre-civil rights America.

Starting point is 01:29:46 When horses could vote in bars. They've expanded westward and I just think what they're doing is I just, I feel like they're just at a, like just absolutely a top notch quality. And I'm just, I'm just so impressed every time I go there. I think all their flavors have, have worked for me. They do a version of a Blizzard called a Hurricane that is like a strictly better Dairy Queen Blizzard. You have it and you're just like,

Starting point is 01:30:12 all right, whatever, I'm whatever. They're trying to approximate the Blizzard. I'm sure this will maybe come close. And then you have it's like, Blizzard's tastes like shit. This is so much better. I'm with you, man. I think Handles is great.

Starting point is 01:30:22 Handles is awesome. Yeah, this sounds really good to me. If you're a creamsman, I absolutely recommend it. I'm with you, man. I think Handles is great. Handles is awesome. Yeah. This sounds really good to me. If you're a creamersman, I absolutely recommend it. I'm a fucking ice cream nut. There's a few in LA, so there's probably one. I don't like nuts in my ice cream, though. Ironically.

Starting point is 01:30:34 I've developed a little bit of a nut aversion as I've gotten older. Peanuts in particular, I have reactions like I'm having anaphylaxis, which is kind of a bummer because how good is a peanut in a dessert? But I kind of have to stay away from it. Yeah. That's too bad. I was at a Chili's for the first time in years, not too long ago. I was there with a crew.

Starting point is 01:30:53 We got an app sampler platter. Chili's has a, I don't know how new it is because it hadn't been in a while, but they have a mozzarella stick now that is like a thick, it's about as thick as my iPhone, right? It's a thick old mozzarella stick and it is coated- Wait, as thick as your iPhone is wide? Yes. Not as thick as your iPhone is thick. It's yeah.

Starting point is 01:31:16 As thick as a full- It's a wide, thick, I have an iPhone S, so it's a little smaller than your average iPhone, but it's a thick stick. It's like a flatter form factor, like a plank. And it is coated in a wing sauce. So like the sauce you would use for the buffalo wings, you can choose a Nashville hot or a like garlic honey or something. It was so good.

Starting point is 01:31:41 It's like the best chain restaurant food I've had in years. It was amazing. I love a mozzarella This chili's mozzarella. Yeah, try it coated in a fucking wing sauce. You'll love it. Yeah, it's really really good Speaking of that kind of bullshit by the way, Jordan Jesse go coming to Chicago on April 11th Oh, yeah, we're gonna be eating all kinds of fucking nightmare foods. Oh, yeah Come see us in Chicago special guest Sam Riegel. We're going to have a lot of fun. Wow.

Starting point is 01:32:07 You want to eat a pile of wings? Chicago is your town. Oh, yeah. God, yeah. Oh, absolutely. You're also doing, you're going to be at C2E2. C2E2, the Comet Convention. Come find me there.

Starting point is 01:32:17 But before that, if you're in the Southern California area, come on down to WonderCon. I'm going to be there all three days. They're at the Anaheim Convention Center. On Friday, I'm going to be at 5 p.m. I'm going to be leading a panel that is a celebration of the great comics writer and drawer Derek Kirk Kim. He's going to be debuting his new graphic novel and there'll be a staged reading with some celebrity guests, some folks from The Walking Dead and Next Min 97 should be a lot of fun.

Starting point is 01:32:47 On Saturday at 1230, I'm going to be on a panel called A Close Look at Graphic Novels. And on Sunday at 1 p.m., I'm going to be on a panel called We Write at Dawn, the coolest name for anything I've ever been involved with. And Saturday and Sunday, I'm going to be signing after both those panels. So please come to them and please come get a book signed and say hi at WonderCon. I would love to see you. I'm going to be on graphic novels from a distance. Ah, yes, sure. It's going to be me and Bette Midler.

Starting point is 01:33:15 Yeah, you just squint and then judge the book by its cover. That doesn't look good. You'll say. Hey, listen, this is our final time in this entire episode to ask you to become a member of Maximum Fund. Please do. The URL to go to is MaximumFun.org slash join. It has been an incredible start to the Max Fund Drive.

Starting point is 01:33:40 We are so grateful to have you on board. Everybody who's already a member, thank you. Feel free to booster. Upgrade at MaximumFun.org slash join. If you're not yet a member, now is the time to do it at MaximumFun.org slash join. Hey, Stephen, can I ask you a quick question? How do you like eating meals? You know what?

Starting point is 01:34:01 I need to do it every day. Yeah. Do you think it would help if people went to maximumfund.org slash join? Yes, I think it would be fantastic. Great, fantastic. So there's another reason. Well, it's settled. Stephen lives. He will live. Through your generosity. Yes, yeah. Basically, you get to choose what I eat every day through your donations. MaximumFun.org slash join is the place to go to support this and whatever Maximum Fun podcasts you listen to.

Starting point is 01:34:30 Thank you so much for doing that. Thank you to our friend Nick Weiger of the Doughboys and Get Played, the Smash It Podcast. Thank you so much for having me. Hey, well, it's Max Fun Drive. Again, long time Max Fun supporter here. I want to shout out another Max Fun show that I listen to every week, Triple Click. Jason Schreier, Mattie Myers and Kirk Hamilton, a wonderful show.

Starting point is 01:34:55 If there are any video game enthusiasts out there who aren't already listening, maybe some get played listeners who are here because of me and haven't checked out Triple Click. Absolutely a show I would heartily recommend. Thank you. Yeah, it's become a weekly listen for me too. It's a great show. Yeah. And you know, I actually, there's a brand new Max Fun podcast with Alan MacLeod, who's

Starting point is 01:35:14 just on Jordan Jessico, called Walking About with Alan. And the first episode of that show that I listened to when I heard that they might be looking for a network home was with our friend Nick Weicker. Wow! Look at this! With molasses boy. We had a lovely walk up the Baldwin Hills Scenic Outlook. Yeah that's another great pod that I love to listen to. I know Jordan and I are both going to be on upcoming episodes of that program. He and I took a walk through Cypress Park and Highland Park in Los Angeles, talked a little bit about Charles Lummis, the legendary librarian slash across America walker slash founding father of modern Los Angeles and had a

Starting point is 01:36:07 had a great time Jordan where you going with yeah we actually walked in a place I had never been before it was called leg Lake you won't believe what I said mm-hmm I'm more of an ass like we all love that I repeated it several times it was really fun really fun really fun public park that had some pretty spectacular concrete sea monster sculptures. So we had a lot of fun. Maximumfun.org slash join to become a member like the Burger Boy is. Our producer, Stephen Ray Morris, our theme music is Love You by The Free Design.

Starting point is 01:36:44 Our thanks to The Free Design. Our thanks to Light in the Attic Records. You can find us all the way through the Max Fun Drive streaming live on all our socials at 930 Pacific, 1230 Eastern Time in the morning slash lunchtime for about 20 minutes a day every single day. And you can find those episodes in the feed, but only during the drive. And you can find our new show. If you're a maximum fun member, podcast movie movie podcast. We sometimes also watch shows. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan. Jessei Go. MaximumFun.org slash join. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you.

Starting point is 01:37:27 Love you. Love you. Love you.

Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Rank the Darths, with Nick Wiger

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.