Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Receive The Call, with Omar Najam

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

On this week’s episode, we welcome actor and improvisor, Omar Najam (Critical Role, Desi Quest, Riverdale Season Six: The Podcast), to chat about rival DnD groups, niche subreddits, Spielberg cinematography, and so much more!This week's sponsors are Wildgrain and Stichfix:Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/JJGO to start your subscription. That’s Wildgrain.com/JJGO, or you can use promo code JJGO at checkoutMake style easy—get started today at Stitch Fix dot com slash JJGO.That’s Stitch Fix dot com slash JJGO.Stichfix.com/JJGO Check out Omar’s Halloween Fest, 13 Days 13 Shorts.Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!See a live Jordan, Jesse, Go! FOR FREE in Los Angeles at Revenge Of, on November 2nd as part of the Comic Creators Block Party. We go on at 3pm!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boyd, detective. Hi Jordan, how are you my friend? I'm doing good Jesse.

I saw something on the internet that brightened my day. Well we actually have a segment on this show called Reddit the Internet. Yes, that's the name and it always has been. Yeah, we're very consistent about the name and sort of theme and content of this segment. So it's a great time to wheel this out. And we definitely, I mean, it goes without saying, I'll say it anyway, we remember the name of the segment and say it the same way every time. Yeah, I mean, it's a good show. It's a good show. And everyone likes it. The content is good.

It's very popular. Pre-planned. Yeah. And the show's good. Yeah. So yeah, in this segment, again, people know it. I'm sorry, I'm getting a phone call. Okay.

Hello? For those listening, Jesse's doing, oh, he actually has his phone. Hello? Yeah, hi. Oh, Joe Biden? It's nice to hear from you. Tell him I say hi. He says our show is good. Oh, he says it's definitely a good show. Thank you so much. Have fun in Scranton. This guy's not gonna have fun in Scranton. It's a snooze over there. Oh, boy. Don't let him

hear you say that. I hope you hung up. He called me from the Amtrak. How's the reception on the Amtrak? It's pretty good. Good. Wonderful trades. Beautiful trades. I was supposed to meet him out in Rehoboth soon.

Oh yeah? What are you guys going to get up to out there? Custard, frozen custard. Cool. And some frozen custard. Nice. Save me one. Cool. And some frozen custard. Ooh, nice. Save me one. Yeah. Catch some crabs.

So yeah, so in this segment, reading online, we find stuff on the internet that we like, and we present it to the audience. Sometimes our audience will write in with their favorites. Yeah, exactly. This isn't something that we do because We're no longer do anything interesting in our actual yes There's something we do because it's relatable and we write

Show that people and it's at when it's zeitgeist II to so like you know just taste the flow the stream of the zeitgeist Love it open wide wide. Here comes the stream. Lap, lap, lap, lap, lap. Yes. Lap it up. So yeah. I think this feeling is out there in the ether that the internet's a cesspool, in shitification, it's bad now, it's radicalizing people. I think there's a case to be made for all that stuff.

But also I think there's a case to be made for all that stuff, but also I think there's a lot that's still pure and good. I think this post proves that. This is from the subreddit r slash Archie Comics. Oh, good. Were you there doing an AMA about your Archie Comics that you've written? I've tried to post about them there, but no one gives a shit. They just care about collecting old digests, which pretty cool thing to collect.

And I like seeing all the old digests. Joe collects those, by the way. Oh yeah? Good old Joe. Who's his favorite of the gang? It's gotta be Bazooka Joe. That's right, because they share a name. And also Bazooka Joe is part of Archie Comics. Sorry, it's Mort.

It's gotta be Mort. Yeah, it's gotta be Mort. So the photo here in r slash Archie Comics, the photo of the best of Archie Comics starring Betty and Veronica over 400 pages of comics, the best stories of the past 70 years. Oh. So good. Cool. Cool book there, great value. Lot to pull from there.

And the title of the post, and this is the only written content of the post, found this Betty Veronica comic book at a comic book shop. I'm going to have fun reading this. Smiley face. I bet they did. I bet they had a lot of fun. I bet that person had a great time. I mean, that's the best, it was 70 years of Archie Coyne. I bet they did! I bet they had a lot of fun!

I bet that person had a great time. I mean that's the best of 70 years of Archie Comics. That's the creme de la creme! Sure, over 400 pages. I had not looked at the comments and the first one is, I gotta get this! I think they should! They should! They're probably reading the second rate stuff. Yeah. The lead, the trimmings, the stuff they make into Archie cheeseburgers.

I would love to see this kind of post just like, you know, to make its way into other subreddits. You gotta get on r slash marbles! I've been telling you about r slash marbles for so long Look at this shiny one. I'm gonna have fun flicking this

Flick this all over the place. Oh, they'll just post some pictures of marbles. It'll be like any good ones here It'll be like there's some later marbles, but they're pretty nice. Okay, I'm doing it I'm gonna subscribe to r slash marbles. R slash marbles is Okay, I'm doing it. I'm gonna subscribe to r slash marbles r slash marbles is The home of good vibes on the internet. It's just all the best things about nerds are contained within r slash marbles No, no negative anything just people listing names of types of marble It's just a photo of marbles in the Texas my marbles See you get it now. You guys got marbles. He wants to show them to his fellow marble enthusiast.

I'm going to have fun rolling these. Just be like, I just got this jug. What do you think? More goodies from the yard. What am I looking at here? Guys probably knew Yeah, so I just wanted to share that with people Yeah, kind of similar similar wholesome good vibes over there on our slash Archie comics, too

Should we introduce our guest on the program? I'd love to know what he thinks about Archie comics. Mm-hmm I'd love to know who his favorite Archie character is Gotta be bazooka Joe, right? I mean everybody loves bazooka. Guys always fucking pulling pranks, but he's got a really good attitude, you know what I mean? Like, he jokes around, but he's got a good positive vibe. Did we ever find out how he lost his eye? Is there a canonical reason that Bazooka Joe only has one eye? Got poked in the eye by a super hard dick. That's what happened. Man, look out. I mean, I presume. Sure. I don't know if that's canon. That's my head canon. Sure, yes. Or eyeball canon. Sure, yeah. Given head canon? I don't know. Use whichever one you like best. Our guest on the program is

a writer, director, and podcaster from, other things. He's worked with our friends at Critical Role. Among many, among many others, as well as D20, which is a bitter rival of Critical Role, probably. Let's get into that. I don't really know anything about it besides Sam Riegel and just t-shirts you see sometimes at like the farmer's market, right? You're like, oh, that's the thing Sam Riegel does. Yeah, he's also the host of the podcast, Riverdale Season Six, the podcast, Omar Najam. Hi Omar, how are you? Hello, thank you so much for having me.

I'm so happy to be here. It's a joy and a pleasure to have you here. You, I presume, must have a favorite Archie Comics character, given that you're the host of a Riverdale-themed podcast. If we're talking Riverdale takes on the characters, it's gotta be Betty Cooper. It's gotta be Agent Betty Coo... It's gotta be Agent Cooper, and I know you might be confused.

You're like, we're talking Twin Peaks? No. We're not. It's Agent Betty Cooper, who has a serial killer gene, and she uses that to fight crime. She's a gene. Yeah, she's a gene that she inherited from her father. These are all Yeah, huge spoilers for Riverdale. Yeah, sorry really quick. I think like huge spoilers for Riverdale But yeah, and also but also like if you have the thing about Riverdale Yeah, and we were talking about this before before we started rolling. That's right. That's right Okay, the wonderful thing about have you watched any of this Jesse? Have you watched? I know that it is an edgy teen version. Yeah, like I like a

Like a 90210. Yeah set in the Betty and Veronica verse. So that's that's like how it started Yeah, that was probably the pitch in the room Like let's take these corny old characters, make them sexy. And then what the show became was insane. Mm-hmm. It has so much content. Like, a season's worth of TV will happen in one episode. And if you're like,

if you're like frustrated with slow moving streaming TV, right? Like one of these, it's eight episodes, probably should have been a 90-minute movie, but they stretch it out, a lot of flashbacks. Just make her the queen already or whatever. Sure, thank you. Riverdale's like, fuck it, we'll introduce a serial killer,

they'll catch him by the end, and then also a character will put their dead twin's ghost into a doll, and then Archie will fight a bear, and that's one episode. Yeah, that's a bottle episode. Yeah, sure. Yeah. That's all in an elevator car. Right, exactly.

Exactly. And then someone gives birth to a baby. Yeah, and that baby is a god. That baby is a god who writes the entire show in his mind in a bunker. Does Archie fight a bear on the show? Or is that just me? That's a famous Riverdale jump the shark moment.

As the Red Paladin, he does have to go through a journey of self-discovery and that involves getting through a fight with a bear. The Red Paladin that's from the Prince Caspian universe. And I believe he was on his hobo journey at this point, right? Yes, they did. They had like the hills have eyes sort of him and jug had went out into the into the world To go seek out Well, the ghoulies had kind of taken over town. That's an important point.

Yeah, yeah, can I ask you guys a question? Sure, you're both entertainment professionals. Yes. You're pitching Riverdale in the room. How do you respond to the question that is gonna be the first question in every room you... Like obviously you're going into the... What's this on, UPN? UPN, yeah. That's correct. Yeah, that's correct.

Yeah. We need a lead into homeboys in outer space. This is actually a Nick at Night original. Nick at Night original. Nick at Night original. We're standing into original content. So you're talking to the executive who came up with Hot in Cleveland. You gotta respond to the obvious question

you're getting in every single one of those rooms, which is, does Jughead wear a special hat? How do you, what do you guys decide and what did they decide on the show? Well, yeah, I mean, personally. Okay. If you're pitching that show to him, what do you guys decide and what did they decide on the show? Uh, well, yeah, I mean, personally. Okay. If you're pitching that show, what would be your response? Yeah, what would be your response?

He's got to have the hat, right? It's his most famous... It's a, it's a, you know, those great characters, they all have recognizable silhouettes. Right. And I think that's the case with Jughead and his famous hat. I mean, I'll say this. I know a lot about the Archie Comics universe. Of course.

You know, you were already talking about bazooka Joe and more Secret origin of the iPad yeah, specifically the jughead wears that hat that's the only thing I know about the entire universe Okay, he likes burgers, okay. Yeah, are you thinking of blimpy? I like Spurkers. Okay. Yeah. Are you thinking of blimpy? I'm not thinking, you're thinking of wimpy.

And no, I'm not thinking of wimpy or blimpy. But now I'm thinking of blimpy sandwiches cause I didn't have lunch. I was thinking of Stimpy. Stimpy. There you go. Wren's friend. Yeah.

It's friends with Wren. I'm so sorry that you didn't have lunch. Was there a particular reason as to why that happened there kidding I did have lunch. That's a great twist. Yeah Omar you're in the room Are you pitching jughead wearing his distinctive his distinctive hat or do you are you suggesting that he wear a different signature head? Headgear or none at all because this is a new generation. Okay, so this is, I will say, this is a different question than you posed earlier.

The question before you was how do you respond? So I'm going to give you two answers. Okay, to the question. And then for the new form of the question. The question this person has said, well, so let's role play this out. Okay, here we go. You are a professional role player. Yeah. From D20 in Critical Role. Okay. Omar, what

a fascinating pitch. I have to ask you as the guy who created Hot in Cleveland. And thank you for your service. A guy whose idea was to cast Michael Richards on that one show that Kirsty Alley was the star of. Let me ask you this question. Is Jughead gonna wear that crazy Jughead hat? I knew you were gonna ask this question, so I actually came prepared with an answer. Oh, that's great.

And it crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I pull out of my pocket an envelope and I slide it across the table. That's how much I want, if you want me to answer that question right here, right now. Oh yeah. Did you do the same thing when Sumner Redstone asked you this question?

Oh, that and I pull out like a more crinkled envelope. That was this offer. Oh, okay. Now here's where we get interesting. You can either open envelope A or envelope B. Oh, what is he gonna do? You don't know which one's more. You don't know who I asked more. You don't know who I asked more.

So now you have to make a decision. I came here to Nobu for omakase. I didn't expect it made choices. Great detail. We love specificity. Of course this is all happening at Nobu. Hey Bobby De Niro, come over here. Hey executive

And writer, it's me The raging bull himself. And I'm the founder of Nobu Wolfgang Pock. We're all here. Thank you for your service. Yeah, thank you Wolfgang. I would say let's do a knit version. Let's do a beanie version. Okay. Because that'll sell like hotcakes.

That sounds like it could sell like hotcakes. I think Bobby here knows a little something about selling hotcakes. My mouth is full of them, bro. I just started breakfast service. Nobu. Nobu brunch. All day breakfast. Nobu sushi.

You try and keep those pancakes away from Bobby D. Can I get four California rolls and a breakfast burrito? Sure. Here's your water. That's me doing improv. Anytime you're in a restaurant. Here's your water. You get to, and you're like, I want some stage time.

I've been on the sideline too long. You bring in water. Can I give you guys some water? There it is. That was good. That's a yes and for sure. Flat or sparkling, what about that? Wow, now that's interesting.

That's specificity. Details, rich texture. We're building up the fabric of this universe. But yeah, season six, I do have the pleasure of having a podcast with Sarah Kaplan and Azzy, our producer, and I gotta say, Asriel Hudson, I gotta say, Season Six does have an alternate universe that it kicks off with.

So if you do want to jump into Riverdale at any point, I say kick into Season Six when there's an alternative universe for a couple episodes. I will argue. You're the expert. You've got the podcast. Yeah, yeah. I think that is like a Amish person saying,

I'd like to try drugs and then just shooting them up with heroin. 100%. I think that's a Comparison yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah, I feel like this might not be the show for me. I'm just speculating Like as a guy who like lost track of Friday night lights Late in the first season because it got too soapy for him. Sure. Can I ask you a question? Was it the knit cap that did it? Was it the hand knit cap? It was the hand knit cap that was. I'm sorry. I will say, although I did buy a lot of hotcakes. There was a season where he didn't wear the hat. He threw it in the fire because Jughead was dead.

Wait, so here's the question. What do they do on the actual show? How do you mean? What does Jughead wear on the actual show? He wears the knit version for most of the show. There's one season where he... Does it have the like, spikies? It does, yeah. Okay.

And then when they travel back in time to the 50s, he has the more comics accurate version of the cap. And I will say this to ruin... We have so many spoilers. The last season of Riverdale is an incredible season of television. Season seven, they're just like, anyway, we've had our fun. Now we're going to tell a really serious story about racism and sexism. Now we're going to explain the Harlem Renaissance to teenagers.

Yeah, this is a real thing. Is this like when Brooklyn Nine-Nine came to be about police misconduct? Yes, it's, yeah. I don't know that they stuck that landing. I'm gonna be frank with you, big fan of the show, not sure if it was where I would turn for my social satire. This was like, the show is like, there's a goblin king who is like, or gargoyle king who is like, there's a satanic panic with like our version of D&D in the universe.

Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. There's an alternate universe. Fast forward, fast forward. And then they're like, anyway, now that we've done that, can we talk about James Baldwin for a hot second? And you kind of just plop down week to week and you're just like, yeah, I now really get how hard things are. I have an important question about this, Omar. And I think this detail is really going gonna flesh out the world for me. What's the Riverdale version of Dungeons and Dragons called? Griffins and Gargoyles. Oh yeah, very on the nose.

Keep it tight. G&G, they call it G&G. It's G&G. Jesse alluded to this, but you are involved in several different RPG communities. Yes. Are there rivalries? And if not, make it up because it's more interesting. Yeah, it's more fun.

Yeah, absolutely. You lie about it. Absolutely. TTRPG started shortly after Steven Spielberg's remake of West Side Story. And after that, we were kind of like, ooh, rivalries seem fun. So let's do that. And out of that came birthed Dungeons & Dragons.

Right. It used to be called Dungeons or Dragons, and you chose one. Right, right. And then you snap. And the Dungeon Boys? Softer than you think. The Dragon Boys?

Tough guys. Really? Tough dudes. Yeah, these guys are tough. I was not a fan. Wow Dragon Boys, tough guys. Tough dudes. These guys are tough. I was not a fan. Wow. Not a fan. Oh, I didn't know that.

So take a wild guess as to which side I was on. I'm team Griffin's all the way. Jesse, did I see that you did a Max Fun RPG thing? I did, yeah. I had not played, like, I had a baby, my like childhood babysitter Darius de Belgedere was and is, I've seen him a few times as an adult, like a power nerd. He worked at the comic book store down the street from us. His great buddies with my friend John from high school is a professional video game designer.

Like, this is very sweet. We stand a classic nerd. Glasses with tape. Worked at the comic book store for trade. As I recall. Free comic books was what he got out of that. But Darius was like a Dungeons and Dragons guy. So when he would babysit me, he like lived down the block from me. And when he would babysit me, sometimes we would like pretend to do Dungeons and Dragons stuff. I was like, you know, eight or something like that, you know? But I had never played like, and I also had some like role playing game books and like the idea of learning to play them in like fifth, sixth grade.

So I had like a Ninja Turtles one and one where you created your own superhero. I might have done this too. I might have like had like like gotten the books because they were cool and then just not had the like patience to sit down and learn. Yeah I'm not gonna like fucking get together a whole bunch of people to do a whole complicated thing. Sure. Like you have to have one nerd friend that's the kind of nerd friend who's into organizing shit, which I did not have.

So I have never- Omar, is that you? Absolutely not. Okay. Absolutely not. No, I'm there for the bits. You received the call. That's it, yeah.

You know, make the call. So other than playing Secret of the Silver Blades on my IBM PC, Amazing. in CGA four color graphics, Sounds fun. So other than playing Secret of the Silver Blades on my IBM PC in CGA four-color graphics, I did not have a lot of role playing experience. But yeah, we did a Max Fun one-off campaign that was in response to the latest Max Fun Drive,

because the Max Fun Drive went so well. Among others, Griffin McElroy was there, past George Jesse Goh guest. And I created a half elf ranger, right? What's the other half? Guy. And his name was Little Steven of Lilahammer. That's good. Halfling in Norway? How did Little Stephen do? Did you? No, actually, let me ask that question.

And then I have a follow up question. So how did Little Stephen do? He did fine. I struggled with both at the same time understanding what was going on and doing stuff for the Atom listener. I was honestly, I figured once I came up with naming him Little Steven of Lilahomer, I thought I could just coast on that the whole time. Then they want me to decide what spell to cast or whatever. I don't know what's... The honest truth is that we got like an email beforehand that said, go to D&D Beyond and

create your characterhead of time. I almost had an emotional meltdown trying to figure out how to do that. It was just, it might have just, it should have just said, like, dear nerd, you know how to do this. Right, right. And I had no idea. I was totally, totally lost. Do this instead of losing your virginity. Yeah. But I truly, I was like, oh boy, please send me to know about baseball statistics. That one I have.

But yeah, I made it happen. I feel like I gummed it up. I was very grateful that among other people, Griffin was there, who's a wonderful, you know, Griffin has all this experience on the Adventure Zone doing this entertainingly. So I felt like the fact that he was there, I could just sort of like let him do stuff. My friend Dale Kingsmill and I, also friend of Stephen Ray Morris, we're working on figuring out how to turn baseball into a TTRPG. When we crack it, we'll let you know and have you on for a game.

Thank you. There's like a complex, there's like an online simulation league that people were emailing me a lot about. Oh, okay. Not like a literal one. It was one that had a lot of narrative elements. I want to say it was called Blazeball. Oh, I see.

Blazeball or something like that, okay. So you play out sort of baseball or something. I can't remember, but it was like a it was like a meta joke about the idea of baseball. I did not follow it. Like I listened to a baseball nerd podcast called effectively wild. They had a whole episode about it. And then people were emailing me. Right. Because like, if people know anything about me in our audiences that I love baseball, and if they and they love internet shit. Yeah. This was the internet shit for a while and they were fucking emailing me about it constantly. I had no idea what it was. What I do understand though, there's a podcast that's just a guy pretending to be a play-by-play

announcer for a pretend baseball league, and you're supposed to listen to it so you can fall asleep. And like that, I'm all the way in on it. That I understand. That makes perfect sense. Do you actually fall asleep to it? I usually fall asleep to the actual baseball game. But yeah, I have listened to it. It is

Very somnambulant and it's not like Comedy, it's just that he's made up a fake baseball game. It has It's not not Comedy, but it doesn't have anything funny besides this idea of sure like it's a pretty faithful recreation of the experience of listening to it like he's created teams and like batting order like it's consistent and there's sound effects and music and stuff. This is David Lynch reading you the weather.

Yes. This is Fishing with John. That is my Fishing with John. 100% this is my Fishing with John. Wow. Like how to with John Wilson is my F fishing with John. 100% this is my fishing with John. Wow. Like how to with John Wilson is my fishing with John. But like if I didn't have that, this would be my fishing with John for sure. Right. Well the second question I want to throw out to you is what did you discover about yourself through Little Steven? What was the thing where in the narrative you're like, oh my, this is unresolved.

I mean for one thing I learned that in real life, I should be thinking really hard about wearing more bandanas. Yes. My first thought is, my second thought is, could I do something to help the Jicks? Mm-hmm. OK. It's a band only produced.

Oh, yeah? Have you learned anything about yourself Omar from your role playing? Oh all the time, the amount of times that I'm like oh that's a parental issue I have. How much non-professional role playing do you do and how much professional role playing? I would say that nothing I do is professional. So I would say 100% is non-professional. It's wild. I genuinely am baffled by the fact that this is a thing you can do. I hesitate to say for money. I don't think that necessarily professions should be labeled or allocated to that. I'll say this.

I'm not the owner of Maximum Fund anymore, but I used to be. We do not pay the McElroys. That explains- They give us actually 20 bucks a month each. Yeah You get college credit. Yeah, that's true. And that's worth its weight in gold folks. Oh, yeah and exposure You know to kind of sort of tie things in a little bit I Let me share this. I don't think I've ever said this necessarily in some public forum. Okay, but I had a full-on Breakdown in my life and I moved back to San Jose and was at my parents house

And it was such a good period of time for me. I needed to just take a break from Los Angeles I needed to get away from everything Great Vietnamese food. Thank you. That is completely that's great. Thank you I'll tell you this Jordan and I went to the University of California at Santa Cruz and we want to get some fun San Jose's lovely, great Vietnamese food. That is completely, that's correct. Thank you. I'll tell you this, Jordan and I went to University of California at Santa Cruz and you wanna get some pho? You're gonna wanna drive over to San Jose. You're gonna wanna go to San Jose.

You both were so courageous to take that 17 route. That's a dangerous mudslidey route in the winter. That's not, the evening news is always, there's a nightly update about 17. It's worth it for one of the world's greatest soups. Yeah, it's incredible soup. I'm so glad that I went back. I love my parents.

Oh, my folks say hi. They don't know what, like they didn't understand what I'm doing tonight, but they were like, please say hi. And I was like, I'll tell them. Give them all our best. I will. Especially your mom.

Thank you, I will, I will. She will absolutely love that. But it was about like a month after I got back and I was like, cool, I'm back in the Bay Area. I got an email that was like, we want to put you on a TV show. And I was like, and they're like, but you still you're in L.A., right? And I was like, of course I am. Of course I'm in. What a stupid.

Yes, of course. Why would I not be living? What do you think?'m in? San Jose? Mouth full of pho? Waiting in line for the Winchester Mystery House? Yeah, that's where I am. I'm not one of the surprisingly large number of people who lives in San Jose. Many more than live in Oakland or San Francisco, for example. Oh, sorry, I can't talk now.

I'm going to see the shark play hockey. Yeah These are all correct things about San Jose I don't know much more so that's it. I've got my hot bowl of fuzz. I'm watching some good old-fashioned hockey Yeah, who me? Yeah, I'm in Smash Mouth No, I'm not in Smash Mouth A guy from Smash Mouth that's from San Jose? Sure, yes. There you go.

This is going well. I'm busy running cross-country. Not as super specific, but it is a thing I did. Oh yeah, no, that's great. You want to use your real life. Exactly. Yeah, so you feed it in. And so I was like, yeah, of course. So I drove down to LA to film and then would just like stay a night or two and then drive back up and like We'll see you next week. And I'm like, yes, you will Wow and Adventure zone was what kept me going was just hours upon hours

So I owe a lot to the McElroys because I would just get in and then the hours melt away because you're just listening to some Good old-fashioned TTRPG podcasting TTRPG. What does the TT stand for? in TTRPG podcasting. TTRPG. What does the TT stand for? Table top. Table top. Table top. Guys, can we actually take a break?

I gotta take a little TT. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessi Go. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Every episode of Jordan Jesse Goh is made possible by the members of Maximum Fund. That's you if you're one of the thousands who have gone to MaximumFun.org slash join and become a member of Max Fun. When you join, you tell that form, shows you listen to and your money supports those

shows directly, including George S. E. Goh. So we hope you will become a member of Maximum Fun. We're also supported in part this week by our friends at Wild Grain. Ooh, this fall treat yourself and your loved ones to fresh, baked from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries, as well as limited time seasonal items like apple cider donuts from Wild Grain. Wild Grain, so much fun to cook with, right? I mean, it's so easy, you could hardly call it cooking.

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You know like that Irish cultured butter or something? Ooh yeah, they know butter in Ireland. Throw one of those wild grain loaves in the oven, 20 minutes later, you're ready to eat like a king. Yeah, the bread is great, the pasta is amazing, the pastries are so tasty, it's so just wonderful to like, in the time it would take you to go to one of them Schmancy coffee shops where everyone talks shit about you behind your back as soon as you leave they fucking hate you there They hate you there, but you know who loves you everyone at your house where you're making wild-grain pastries You can just throw that croissant that chocolate croissant in the oven, have it with your coffee.

Hell, I like to make a little egg and cheese sammy on those croissants. They're so, so good. Makes your house smell amazing. Easy, fun. You'll love it. You know who else loves you? The people at Wild Grain. They do.

I was just over at the headquarters and I heard them talking about how nice that color looks on you. Yeah, you look great. That's something they said. They said you look great and they can't wait to give you your Christmas present. Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? For a limited time, Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box plus free croissants in every box when you go to wildgrain.com slash jjgo to start your subscription. That's wildgrain.com slash jjgo or you can use the promo code jjgo at checkout. We're also sponsored this week by Stitch Fix.

Shopping can be hard. Stitch Fix online. Personal styling makes it easy all you got to do is give your stylist your size your style your budget preferences and They will choose clothes for you clothes that fit you clothes that suit your tastes and they will either Send you a box or make a little store for you to shop from, whichever

one you prefer. And if they're mailing you a box, here's what you do. You try it on, you keep the stuff you like. If there's something that's not quite right, you can send it back in one of the giant Stitch Fix envelopes they include in your shipment, prepaid. So you just take it to the post office and you ship it back. It's so easy. And this envelope, it's big.

You can put a pet in there if you want to. Don't do it. Don't put a pet in there. That's one of the core principles of Stitch Fix. Don't put a pet in the envelope. Yeah. Their corporate masthead says, clothes for everyone. Don't put a pet in the envelope.

Make style easy, get started today at StitchFix.com slash JJ Go. That's StitchFix.com slash JJ Go. Also Jordan, if our listeners are in the Los Angeles area, well gosh, we've got a show coming up. Yeah, we're gonna be at Revenge of Comics and Pinball for their big block party event on November 2nd. This goes on from 11 to 6 p.m. JJ Goh hits the stage at 3 p.m.

We got a bunch of fun stuff for you, including our Max Fun colleague Elliot Kalin. He's going to be joining us for that show and their block parties are so much fun. There's going to be all sorts of comics folks there. Sign in books, sign in whatever you please. I can't speak for every... I'll say I'll be signing books and I will sign whatever you please. I cannot speak for Mark Wade. I do not know if Hannah Rose May will sign anything you want to. I will. I'll sign anything. I'll sign the side of your fucking car. I don not know if Hannah Rose May will sign anything you want to. I will. I'll sign anything. I'll sign the side of your fucking car. I don't give a shit. Oh yeah, whatever.

I might start signing stuff you didn't even ask me to sign and I've never written a comic book in my life. Jesse's gonna have a big old Sharpie and he's gonna be signing shit whether you like it or not. I'm gonna have one of those like inch and a half tip. Oh yeah. Sharpies that you use to write on those giant posters when you're like facilitating a business planning meeting. That's what Jesse's gonna do.

I'm gonna be signing all kind of shit. Yeah, Revenge of is a really, really great local indie. We love them and we're excited for this event. So come on by Revenge of Comics and Pinball on November 2nd. We'll be hitting the stage around 3 p.m. And hey, I am going to be across this great nation in early November, specifically the northeastern portion of this great nation. So I hope that I will see everybody with the Judge John Hodgman podcast in Boston, Massachusetts, Judge John Hodgman podcast in Boston, Massachusetts, in Western Massachusetts, in Portland, Maine,

and in Burlington, Vermont. I think both Massachusetts shows are either sold out or will be sold out by the time that this show drops. But there are still tickets available for Burlington and for Portland to Maine. Maybe make a nice weekend trip of it. Go head up to Maine, a beautiful country. Head to Vermont, say hi to some cows. Maybe have lunch with Luis Guzman, Vermont resident Luis Guzman. Sounds like a fun day. We're going to have a lot of fun on that tour.

That's the second week of November. All the information is at maximumfund.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Goh. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Omer Nizam, Scruff McGruff's apprentice. Who's Scruff McGruff? Chicago, Illinois. He's Scruff McGruff, right?

This is McGruff the crime dog's son or boy ward? Wait, the crime dog? Has a... Boy Ward? There's a... Yeah, I think... I think at some point... And it's me. And it's you. Congratulations.

Thank you so much. Great game. I thought it was his nephew. Oh, it might have been his... Maybe it was his nephew. Yeah, I think at some point they decided maybe... Maybe McGruff was frightening children. Insane.

And they needed to have a, you know, kind of an audience surrogate there. I mean, McGruff was a terrifying figure. Absolutely. Yeah. It's very upsetting, but not nearly as upsetting as in the San Francisco Bay Area. This might be Omar, I'm looking at you, I'm thinking maybe you're 10 years younger than I am. Okay, that's very kind of you.

In my time in the San Francisco Bay Area on channel 20 Uh-huh. It was on channel 20 there were these two characters that hosted a lot of the shows and One of them was like a bulldog in like an Applejack cap. Uh-huh. And one of them was a horse head who always had flies flying around him and And they would get in these arguments. And it freaked me the fuck out. Because it was like one of those things, the real reason is sort of like taxi. And that it was like a thing from the 70s. But it was the 80s and I was watching it. Yeah.

Like it had that weird CD 70s quality to it. Things too yellow. Why is everything so yellow? And you're like, no, it's 1987, guys. We should be watching DeBarge on Soul Train right now. Come on, before DeBarge on Soul Train, probably. Jordan, can I read you guys Scarlett's birthday list? Yes. Scarlett is my 10-year-old, soon-to-be 11-year-old child. And it's a big birthday. Happy early birthday. Yeah. Scarlett is my 10 year old soon to be 11 year old child. And happy

early birthday. Yeah. Thank you. We were sitting and watching the WNBA finals today and she went to grab a pen. Her birthday's coming up. She said she's gonna write a birthday list. Okay. This is the birthday list that she wrote and just left there on the on the on the coffee table. One fidgets. I can handle that. OK. Yeah. To WNBA Jersey. Hell, yeah.

Three WNBA ticket. I'd probably get her two tickets so I could go as well. Going to drop her off at the Crypto Comcom arena. Have a good time. Sure. This is a monster jam. This is WNBA. I got to keep her safe. Yeah. Go to the game and have yourself a good time. Sure. This isn't Monster Jam. This is WNBA. I gotta keep her safe. Yeah, go to the game and have yourself a good time at Lowry's after. You're 11.

Go to Lowry's. Yeah, so just see number one fidgets, number two WNBA jersey, number three WNBA ticket, number four new dad, number five GameStop gift card, number six indoor trampoline. Ooh, indoor specifically. Yeah. Number seven, mini fridge. Number eight, crab. Crab? Number nine, tarantula. T-R-A-N-C-H-A-L-A. The crab of the land. Yes. The crab at the land. Yes. So that's Fidgets, WNBA Jersey, WNBA Tickets, New Dad. Yeah. So how do you think you're going to, where are you going to start with that?

Are you just going to go on Amazon? The way I see it, there's got to be a lot of guys out there who'd love to be married to my beautiful wife. I mean, I don't know if she's going to be on board for this. I'm going to have to talk it through with her. Yeah. But obviously she really prioritizes the children and their needs When I in in school, I was often told I got things wrong, but I was very creative Uh-huh. So I'm gonna I'm gonna take a little bit of a left-field approach to the new dad. Is it possible that?

She just wants me to start exercising possibly exercising Birthday wish what it what a kids movie birthday wish of like dad. I want you to find happiness But like is it possible? It's a it's a spin-off of the show new girl You kind of take on like an adorable. I mean I have been called adorable. Yeah, I think so I have been called a door coupleable. You can get some fun roommates Mm-hmm never watched the show. This is good. So far. Yeah, you want to give us a second? There could be an episode where Prince was on it. Yeah. Yeah. So Prince was on new girl Advertised after the Super Bowl. I believe if I'm not mistaken. They were like big deal. We got

Minneapolis's greatest you know, and you could stream on Hulu. Look at that. That's another thing. I'll say this for New Girl. I've seen it on Hulu. Was it dorkable? It was a dorkable. It was a dorkable.

I believe I got different glasses frames because of that show. I think I had gender envy because of Jess. I think so. Yeah. Probably a lot of great frames on that show, I would imagine. Great frame.

Frame heads. What was the dumb guy called on that show? I guess it depends. You know, Max, What's his name? That was that guy's great That show That sounds I believe that yeah that guy who's fucking hilarious on that show. Yeah, they're all I mean honestly They're all they all do a great job, and I'll do a great the biggest challenge

You're gonna have with new Dad is getting that chemistry. How can I match that A chemistry on a B plus show? Sorry New Girl, you're a pretty decent show. Yeah, yeah. I can't wait to see how New Dad takes place, or how that kind of cooks up, shakes out. That New Girl had Damon Wayans Jr. on it, right? That's a great question. Yeah, I think it probably did. It probably did.

It probably did. So you're going to get, do you think for new dad, you could get a Wayans? Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Is there a Sean Wayans Jr.? Kim Wayans Jr.? That's exactly. Yeah.

Maybe twist it at Wayne Gretzky Jr. Oh, I'd love to get Wayne Gretzky Jr. Maybe instead of New Dad, I should do that All Stars cartoon, but the kid version. Yeah, right. What was that? That was Wayne Gretzky... Ken Griffey Jr. Bo Jackson. Bo Jackson. I think you're right, Bo Jackson. And...

Well, maybe Bo Jackson was the football player. I mean, with Bo Jackson was the football player. I mean, with Bo, it could be anything. That guy played all kinds of sports. I feel like it was called All Stars, right? Yeah. How about this? We have a moments occasion.

Why don't we have Stephen Ray Morris play the moments occasion? Pro stars. Oh, pro stars. Pro stars. Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, and Bo Jackson. Okay. So Bo Jackson was, they saw, I mean, as is often the case in children's animated television, they saw an opportunity for cost cutting.

Sure, yeah. They went ahead and cast Bo Jackson as both the baseball player and the football player. Double up. Yeah, Bo knows, what do you call it when you can do multiple things? A multi-sports star? Multi-sports. Polymathism? Yes, there you go.

He does it all. My daughter informed me, my other daughter informed me today that there was a cartoon version of Little Shop of Horrors. Oh. That was just called Little Shop. Okay. And was not based on the movie. It was based on the Roger Corman movie from the 60s. Oh, okay.

And the plant was a good guy. Right. And it rapped. Of course. Audrey II rapped. Audrey Jr. it was called on the show. Apologies. Cause it wasn't, yeah. It was called Audrey Jr. on the show.

Okay. And there was a dentist-like character and the backup singers were there, but because they didn't have the rights to the new movie characters, the backup singers were singing flowers. Sure. What a fun, creative way around getting sued. 13 episodes, I got 13 episodes.

Beautiful. 13 isn't bad. That's the fewest amount of episodes a cartoon from our childhood has ever gotten. Yeah. There's 742 episodes of Brave Star? Yeah. Yeah, something that's considered, yeah. Right.

There were 19 seasons of GoBots. Really got crazy by the end of it. And they made them in two years? On cocaine? When something momentous happens to you, like you get the order for the back nine for your Saturday morning cartoon show, give us a call, 206-984-FOR-FUN or just send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. By the way, Jordan, I was in my shower the other day.

Don't worry, I was covered up. Okay. Full tuxedo. Good, good. And I was thinking about momentous occasions. I was thinking, I think sometimes people are intimidated to call in momentous occasions. I think they are too. Because they're never going to have our charisma.

Right. It's a great show. Everyone agrees on that. So I'm just gonna say, we don't need you to, look, we'll bring the fun. You just make the phone call. Just call. We just need raw material to shape.

We're Superman, you're coal. We're gonna turn you into a diamond. Thank you. Yeah. We're Batman, you're Robin. You're a little boy that lives our house. We're gonna turn you into a diamond. Thank you. Yeah. We're Batman, you're Robin. You're a little boy that lives in our house. We're gonna mold you into a diamond. We're a little acrobat that we've found.

Batman squeezed Robin so hard. Tim, I promise, this is worth it. You're gonna have so many facets. You'll refract so much light, Robin. I'm thinking about an old mind cut. But a princess cut might suit. Really let the stone speak to me. Batman, you're hurting me. The Fleischer Superman stuff was so straightforward,

where it's just like there's a cannon shooting lava at the city, and he's like, I'll bend it. Better stop it. I'll bend the cabin. Boom, boom, boom. What else? I can do anything. 4, yeah, that's boom boom boom. Okay. What else I can do anything 4,000 episodes this is my point if some momentous happens to you We used to be like don't call in something that someone else called in before we've been doing this long enough

Everything has been yeah, let's do it. Well. We want now we have a new policy Whatever yeah Whatever I don't know what the fuck ever you got a voice memo just say hey Siri record a voice memo and then record it and then send it to us at JJ go with maximum fun so easy hands free hands you can do it well jack it up that's the second new catchphrase you know what you can do it while you're cooking with both hands, as long as your hand's free jacking off.

There you go. You know, kind of like where you do it with your mind. Right, yes. For the folks listening at home, Jesse's tapping himself in the mind in hopes to ejaculate, I guess. J.J. Koh at MaximumFun.org. Got to tap that mind. That's where it comes,

up in there right Brains the largest erogenous zone they say Wilson called mine But my body J go at maximum fun dot org to a 694 for fun But seriously do send it in yeah, do send in your momentous occasions whenever something good happens, whatever, something interesting, something bad, moments of shame, give us a call. Here's someone who did. Hi Jordan, Jesse and Go. This is Philip from New York City. It's a Sunday night. I just got out of my daughter's room, putting her to bed, and my wife sends me a text. She's stuck in traffic, and she sent me a video.

And the video was of the car in front of her, and she zoomed in on the license plate. And the license plate was DZZZNUTS. Thought you might enjoy. Have a good one. In New York, you know in California, you can't get a license plate that says anything vulgar, they'll catch it.

Right. In New York, I think the rule is it has to say something vulgar. Yeah, it's the opposite. Different coast, different rules. I did get a text from a friend who said he, and I guess I didn't, I don't know the state of this license plate, but my friend texted and said he he saw a hawk to a on a license plate. Oh really? Yeah, righty. Uh-huh How long does it take to order like? Gee way, yeah, so it said if I'm not mistaken it the license plate said these nuts. Yes

What What is that in reference like so the license plate itself is like Like see do you understand the it's in reference to what I represent Yeah, he's not yeah Yeah, good for good good for that person I think these nuts has been around a while these nuts like has endured my children know about these person. I think- Deez Nuts has been around a while. Deez Nuts has endured. My children know about Deez Nuts. I, there is a Deez Nuts joke in Youth Group,

the new graphic novel for me and Bo and McCurdy, on sale now, get yourself a copy. And since the book is set in the 90s, I had to look up the origin of Deez Nuts just to, in case someone's like, uh, this isn't accurate and These nuts has been around since the early 90s. Yeah. Yeah, I think Rap skit was the first time it kind of yeah was a public

Remember that yeah, I remember when it was butter rap skit, right? Yeah, I do I think more often of Cool Keith saying keep it real represent what my nuts. Yeah But you know, I'll take any nuts sure Those things are great. There are some of them. Some of them are actually legumes or something, right? Yeah, that's right. Seeds are actually legumes. Yeah right? Yes, that's actually legumes. Yeah I don't know what else they are. It's kind of a pumpkin fruit or vegetable situation really when it boils down These nut pedants, you know, why can't we just get a large exactly nut language?

It's supposed to be descriptive, you know, just trying a line in the sand unnecessarily. Thank you Can I can I also tell you so yeah, we alluded to how I enjoy the subreddit rslashmarbels. I also subscribe to the subreddit rslashfruit. Okay. Sounds like a fun one. Yeah. And there was one that came up here on rslashfruit. What I like about rslashfruit is it's just pictures of, it's either people saying like Hey, you know what this fruit is and they just got a picture of the fruit Look, there's also hey, is it okay to eat this? Lot of that I just ate it

Like in terms of like this Apple's been out for a while or is it like I just never seen this species before It's should I take a bite It's no, it's the it's the former and they'll show pictures. They'll show pictures like specifics in there that are real upsetting. Oh, there's one there was a post here today that said I am having a real craving for one of this fruit from my country. It's called mangosteen and it's full of vitamins. Okay. Okay.

That's a good post. Yeah, that was a really nice post. You get vitamins. Also a pretty good poem. I think a lot of people- Yes, beautiful, beautiful. So lilting. A lot of people will post whether or not they've eaten a durian. Okay.

That's a big one. A durian is like a, it's a little bit actually like a cherimoya, the custard apple. But I think it also smells like death or poop. I can't remember which. Sure. It's got a very funky smell. Can be tricky, can be tricky.

Yeah. Yeah. Jesse, I have a question about the birthday list that I- Wait, can I just read you the top post on r slash fruit right now? I was going to read you that mangosteen one, but this is the number one as we speak. Okay. Found a rotten fruit is the headline. Beautiful.

I examined it. Is it a fruit or not? Kind of looks like it's a fruit. What was the? Oh. Yeah. Is it a fruit or not? You know, honestly, unclear from the picture,

but I think it's a fruit. It might be a big seed or a gourd or something. You gonna say that's fruit? I think that's fruit. Omar, what do you say? Yeah, I would say, oh, you know what? The more I look at it,

the more I'm thinking It might be a vegetable. Oh wow The more all fucked Steven if this is a legume do not release this episode What if the president hears? Delete every podcast we've done. I'm going to go see him and Jill and Rohoboth You know, I looked up how bazooka Joe got his eye patch Oh, yeah, okay, and it said that the fruit stripe zebra kicked him and kicked him in the eye Wow

Vanity Fair article from 2012 bitter rival. Okay. Well, I mean if Graydon Carter says Can that zebra kick forward? Oh, that's a good question Can you kick whatever the fuck you want? This is the new where do dogs wear pants Right, can the Fruit Stripe zebra kick forward? Let us know, JJ Goh at MaximumFun.org Let us know where you think the Fruit Stripe zebra can kick 206-984-4FUN!

The toucan from Fruit Loops! What does he do with that big ol' beak on his face? Where does he shove that thing? Give us a call! Does he use it for smelling or eating? What do you think? You can only use a beak for one thing! How many of those could you fight if you were eating a hot dog?

206-984-4FUN! How many of those could you fight if you were eating a hot dog? 06-984-4-fun. Give us a call. It's a good show. The show's good. Jesse, do you think you are you open to getting the kids hermit crabs and tarantulas? I wonder if my wife would be okay with a tarantula. I guess maybe I was assuming the crab on the thing was like a little pet hermit crab.

Yeah, I think it is a little pet hermit crab. I don't think that she wants us to like deep fry her some softshells. Although when we're in Rehoboth, that's the place to do it. Oh, you got to get softshell. Softshell capital. We're down there in Rehoboth Beach. Yes, I've heard that. I think, so there's fish.

And the fish are doing fish things, which is to say dying at a rate of one every two months Okay, you know we started with a pretty fair number of them, and I don't know we maybe are down to two okay and I Think that's where the hermit crabs would live so I think that the fish would have to all die In order to make that happen. You say the word. You say the word. I'll make it look like an accident. I know a guy. I know a fish guy. Sure. Would you? Okay. Again, thinking left field. You have a mortality rate. It's a kind of metaphor I understand.

Would you be open to a deep sea crab that could live for like hundreds of years to kind of like get to the other end of like the mortality spectrum? Oh, the kind that has like furry stuff on it? Yeah, and you're like, you're gonna have to like, this will pass through generations, this crab. Right. You know, I think that sounds pretty good. I mean, I think I talked about this on the show, but one day I was at the flea market

talking to my friend Terry, and I don't Terry 10 years at the flea market. I went to our house one time to buy some fabric. But you know, I know her at the flea market, but we're pals, you know, me and Terry, Terry's a kind of say 6065 year old woman. And one day she just says, Oh, yeah, I had to super glue some GPS is onto my tortoises. And I was like, Terry, I've known you for a decade. You never mentioned that you had tortoises? Because they weren't like six inch tortoises.

She showed me a picture. These are like three footers. You could be secret crab guy, you could be the guy who drops, I have a hundred year old deep sea crab, you know, 10 years into a relationship. You think this thing could just flop around in my backyard like these tortoises do in hers? 100%. You think they might end up going down the road there

in Santa Barbara where she lives? Does she live in Santa Barbara? She lives in Santa Barbara. I went to UC Santa Barbara. I respect that choice. Did you have any tortoises? Okay, here's a wild thing. I never had tortoises down there.

I have a turtle named Xander. What kind of turtle is this? A red eared slider. This is a red eared slider. A proud red eared slider. Oh, a red eared slider. Don't release this in the wild, because that's an invasive species.

It is invasive. I know that because my brother-in-law, Danny, was a red eared slider counter. What a counter. What do they do to the environment? Get them sick. Yeah. Get them sick, cause a lot of chaos. They're invasive.

They're not California natives. Teach bad jokes. But you're going to find a fair few of them out there in that lake right out there. Yeah. Oh my God. Red-eared sliders. I had a red-eared slider. They're adorable.

They're sweethearts. Yeah. This dude has escaped three times. Wow. You don't even know how that's possible. It's wild. They can't jump. It doesn't make sense.

And there was one time... A-F-A-I-K. There was one time I thought that Xander had perished and I decided to dig him up and he had not perished and I saved his life and it was to the soundtrack of Interstellar. I don't know if I need to get into any more detail about that. No, no more details necessary.

That's a complete story. Was he taking a nap under the ground? They do that, right? He hibernated, but then I looked it up. Okay, to explain that, and I will not get into how Interstellar saved his life necessarily because I feel like that kind of just writes itself. It would be redundant at this point.

Let me just say, my brother-in-law Danny, his job was to count the native turtles and remove the invasive turtles. They would bring them to a turtle rescue. That's nice. Oh, that's great. That's really great. Who I think in turn would euthanize the turtles. Yeah, yeah, a quote unquote rescue.

Yeah, they were not playing Hans Zimmer's interstellar soundtrack out at that farm, unfortunately But no, he was that he dug him I had a little in patio enclosure and I had a bunch of dirt and stuff and He was like and I put a bunch of worms out there and stuff for him and he was like I'm gonna bury down for the winter and I went great See you later and then it rained and it flooded and then a bunch of like flies were coming out of the dirt And I was like like that's disturbing this is a little plague-ish and then a little Darth Plague-ish and then I looked up online like

little Dexter Jets Pulling up his pants with his mustache serving the finest milkshakes in the galaxy And I looked up online how fun to name guys from the prequels. It's a good time. I just know that one guy. That's how I fall asleep. He's the best guy. Someone listing me.

Just a soothing voice saying, Wado. Oh, thank you. I know about Snaggletooth. What about that guy? All the different forms that the changeling took. So then I looked up how cold it has to be for them to fully hibernate. That guy. Yeah. All the different forms that the changeling took. I said I looked up how cold it has to be for them to fully hibernate. And it was like a lot of turtles don't make it through the winter because it's not cold enough. So they're still they still need energy, but they're not digesting.

Not eating. And so I was like, oh, he's not with us. And then, of course, Interstellar pulled him up. Again, I don't think that part of the story needs to be explained. I feel like it's pretty straightforward. What's his name? Zander. How does he get out of there? He digs under the barriers you've created?

So here's the thing. He's never escaped on my watch. He is up in... Somebody keeps leaving the gate open. Someone keeps leaving the gate open. He lives up in San Jose. He lives in enclosure, for the most part, saved for three times.

And one time my mom called me up and said, Happy Easter, do you know who's returned? Wow. And it was a moment where I was like, yeah. I was like, I think I do. Who are you referring to? Turns out we were thinking of different people. So anyhow, yeah.

But he keeps coming back somehow. But both beacons of love. Exactly, exactly. But yeah, great dude, great guy, does a lot of charity work. I love that turtle. Yeah, I mean, I think I've probably mentioned this on the show before, but I had a frog when I was that age, same age as when I had the turtle, and he escaped oh and we never found him

Until we did find him in the back of my closet. I see some way somewhat Desiccated oh, I'm sorry. It was bootress bootress froggy. Oh bootress bootress froggy I was hoping it was like a spider-man sort of thing where you're like and we found two purse robbers They were just like tied up with a note that said you're welcome. I'll always remember you or something. Yes Thank you actually neighborhood Froggy someone stole my frog and I let them pass by it and then my frog murdered my own Yes, yes, and then you later found out that um that Sandman was involved if I'm not mistaken later on My frog murdered my uncle. Yes. Yes. Yes.

And then you later found out that Sandman was involved, if I'm not mistaken. Later on in the third one. Plus Bruce Campbell was there. Leading up to his role as Mysterio, but we never got it. And your famous Oldsmobile you put in everything? Yeah. Very nice Oldsmobile. Well, now that we've named things from the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy and the Star Wars prequels should we take a little break?

Yeah, I mean to be fair mine was from maybe returned to the Jedi or Empire Strikes Back or something. Dexter Jester? Snaggletooth. Oh, okay. I say Dexter Jester because I know that you like to say Dexter Jester. Ah, you beat me to it! I love to say that! I'll never say it again! It's okay. You can say booster cold. Okay, I'll do that in the third segment. We'll be back in just a second when we talk about Firestorm the Nuclear Man. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. This season on the Adventure Zone, Abnibles.

Get ready for a brand new crime fighting trio, here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City. Featuring Justin McElroy as Axelile, the firefighting axolotl. Clint McElroy as Roger Mooer, the debonair cow of mystery. Griffin McElroy as Navy Seal, the raw seal that has never served in the armed forces. And Travis McElroy as every other swole critter in River City. This swear-free Saturday morning cartoon-inspired story airs every Thursday on MaximumFun.org

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emily Fleming. And I'm Jordan Morris. We're real comedy writers. And real friends. And real fucking cheapskates. We say why subscribe to expensive streaming services when you could stream tons of insane movies online for free. As long as you're fine with 25 randomly inserted super loud car

insurance commercials. On our new podcast free with ads we review streaming movies from the darkest corner of the Internet's Bargain bin from the good to the weird to the holy shit Look at John Claude Van Damme's big old butt free with ads a free podcast about free movies That's worth the price of admission every Tuesday on maximum fun org or your favorite pod spot It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. And Owen Ajam, Audrey Jr.'s best friend. Oh, really?

Yeah. Who's that? Me. Oh, you. Oh, sorry. A non sequitur. Yeah. Yeah, I'm Owen Ajam.

Now, Audrey Jr juniors best friend Bumped into me at the grocery store. No, not a wild story. Okay. Okay. Yeah, lots of odd stories Do da do do the singing flowers in the wild stories Guys can I do I was out the playboy mansion with Jimmy Khan? Guys, can I tell you? Oh, I was at the Playboy Mansion with Jimmy Khan. Um, uh, can I tell you guys something? I watched the movie, uh, E.T. Yes.

Day before yesterday. First of all. The extraterrestrial. Yeah. I think I can be the first one to recommend this film to you. Wow. Yeah. Very good film.

Fucking incredible film. You and your deep cuts. You, you hipsters in your... Thumbing through the Criterion closet over here. Sometimes I think that maybe I don't like Steven Spielberg as much as other people do, but then I fucking, I'm on this run where I fucking love the shit out of E.T.

and I really like the Fablemen's. I really like the Fablemen's. The Fablemen's is kind of a neat movie, huh? I really like the Fablemen's. I really like the Fablemen's. Kind of a neat movie, huh? I really like the Fablemen's. I know, I do too. It's sort of like if fucking Steven Spielberg made like a Mike Lee movie. It was really, I was pretty into it.

Hey, on the next Family Movie Night, check out Munich. Yeah. Yeah. Good idea. Check out Munich. Cause I watched Bridge of Spies. It seemed like it would be up my alley and wasn't oh, I really like I really like You're into bridges spies. I like it when he eats all that food remember me has that big breakfast

I don't remember that part. I did watch old horses and I liked that that is doesn't have Steven Spielberg in it But it speaks to that kind of thing being out my alley Slow horses this is called slow horses. Anyway, I was watching ET is My here's my big takeaway from ET besides that it's a really, really good movie. How do you get that many slats into one house? Sure. It's all slats, all slat everywhere. Everything, it's like a, not what you think is it's like a noir tribute that all the

light is coming through, you know, louvered blinds. Right. But then all the interior doors are covered in slats. Yeah. The partitions in the house are all slats. We used to be a proper country. Slats, slats, slats. A slat-filled country.

I mean, if it's not slats, it's plantation blinds, you know what I mean? Yeah. I definitely do. When, you know, Steve and I went to film school together, let me tell you, shooting through an opaque door, tough. Yeah. Tough. You might as well keep the lens cap on.

You shoot through those fucking slats. Do you think they got- Can we get some slats in here, you say? Can we please? Do you think when they were location scouting, Spielberg was like, I don't know. And then the location manager was like, oh, we're gonna put in slats.

Yeah. And Spielberg's like, oh yeah, well, we can put in some slats, yeah, sure. Where you go, how many slats you putting in? Every surface is gonna have fucking slats. It's gonna be dark inside and bright outside the whole time. That era, people loved little beams of light. Like early Spielberg stuff,

it's a little beam of light coming through a thing. You know, you watch a poltergeist stuff, little beams of light. Like, early Spielberg stuff, it's a little beam of light coming through a thing. You know, you watch a Poltergeist stuff, little beams of light coming through stuff. Right now, Omar, let me say this to you. I'm looking you in the eyes. Yeah, we are. And I don't know how I found them, because there isn't just a narrow beam of light

highlighting them across the rest of your face. You were making eye contact with my knees for the first half of the show. And then it was just like, can we get a light cue? My knees are up here. the rest of your face. You were making eye contact with my knees for the first half of the show. I know. And then it was just like, can we get a light cue? My knees are up here. Above my shins. All right, Omar, what are we plugging here?

Where can people find more from you? Goodness gracious. I mean, it really depends on your taste. Season six of Riverdale the podcast. Exactly. What is the format of this show? Is it just like a 22 episode show or however many episodes? It's a full season. Now if you want the Rivervale stuff, you'll only, which is the alternate universe,

you'll only get a couple at the top there. So that's the sort of like cream of the crop. Right. And then we get back into Riverdale season six. Rivervale is the alternate Riverdale. That's correct. And Jughead will explain it to you in book-ended narration. Don't worry. He's the kind of god figure who created the rest of the series. Can I ask a question? In Rivervale, is his name Jorghead?

God, what I would give. What I would give to go through time. Jorghead, Orchid. Orchid. Borty. Come on, body. We gotta go to the farm. How's Orchid gonna choose between Borty and Veronica?

As you're just banging the side of your old 90s TV because you're convinced something's broken. Just the tracking. Yeah, if you want some of that, I also have a show with my buddy Cindy Parikh where we talk about honestly a bunch of things, but mostly about being the South Asian comedians called ABCD We didn't exactly go for SEO on that but it's over on funny So search ABCD in your podcast catcher choice I suppose and then and if you want to check out some fun ttrpg stuff But also I'll throw out daisy quest we had a whole season and it's the full South Asian D&D show

With a bunch of really solid comedians a a bunch of great actors, an incredible GM, Jasmine that bronze gold buller. It's a really, really good time. I've got a little red panda robot son. So if that kind of is a little bit of a sell there. What does he say like, boop, boop, boop? You're so close. Honestly, it's very, it's beep boop.

Boop, boop, classic. Lots of ET vibes. Lots, we got, if you have lots of ET vibes Oh, we got we got if you like the slats In ET. Yeah, the slats in our combined imaginary space. Yeah. Oh, they're there Okay, great lighting in this imagined universe that we're all closing our eyes and picturing is there like Something I like about ET is there's a sort of airsats dad who's like a scientist who's nice to him Mm-hmm, and then he then he comes to the end part Yeah, he just stands there. Nothing else happens with that character. It's very nice. Yeah, it's nice

I like that character just since Spielberg really just read some nose guy. Yeah, and some nose guys what I'm calling that guy You know the character I'm talking about right Steven. You got a you study film there. You see Santa Barbara I'm trying to remember a scientist's a scientist with a handsome nose. Good nose. I think so. He says it was always his dream since he was 10 to meet an ET. Yeah. That's what he says.

I've always dreamed of meeting an ET. Since 10. Since I was 10 years old. And you think he's going to like fuck, you know, what's his face? His mom. What's the kid Elliot's mom? But he doesn't. He just comes to the thing.

He's happy to see the ET mom. Yeah. They go in the thing. It's great. Great. He closes out. It's a good time. ET, by the way, also a big key ring movie. Oh yeah? A lot of key rings. A lot of really good key rings clanging around. Because a lot of the movies shot it from sort of like ET slash, you know cocksucking level There's a lot of like key rings flopping out from that level Yeah, easy might fail the Bechtel test but it does pass the Allison Bechtel Ring of Keys shot test.

So at least there's that. That's one thing Bechtel loves. It's a variety of keys. And also throw out, since we talked about Halloween a little bit in between, I run a thing called 13 Days 13 Shorts, which is people just make art. They put it online. Steven's done some stuff in the past. Just a fun website. There's nothing to it. There's no money involved. 13 days, 13 shorts.

That's it. Each day gets a theme. People make art. That's it. It's easy. It's fun. Great. And it's any kind of art or just underpants?

It's mostly underpants. Mostly underpants. Great. Yeah. Yeah. But we get also some poems. Underpants and poems. Sounds like a great website.

Well, Omar, it's been a joy to talk to you. Jordan Jesse Goh, produced by Stephen Ray Morris, producer of Meredith's Brian Sunady Fernandez. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You know, Jordan, the other day, somebody, I saw somebody post on Reddit that they thought that the Goh team, the band that does the theme from Bullseye, they thought that was a joke band I had made up. No, real band.

Yeah, real band, great band. Sure. Free Design, also a real great band. Also real, also great. Yeah. So go check out the Free Design. They're an amazing, amazing band. And they really did.

They're not all alive anymore, but they really did say that we could use the song 15 years ago or whatever for free. We promise. They've regretted it ever since. So please stream or buy their records so that they get a little something out of it. You can find us on Reddit at maximumfund.reddit.com as well as at marbles.reddit.com. Talk about the show there. Talk about the show there for sure.

R slash Boz Skaggs is still in business. Boz Skaggs. Yeah, a lot of great reddits and You can find us on social media as well at Jordan David Morris and at Jesse Thorne very famous on Instagram As well as at Jordan Jesse go pod on Instagram That's where you're gonna find some of the dankest means very day some extremely dank means very dang Some of these memes are so dank that I have no idea what they're about no fucking clue yeah if you want to be confused while scrolling Instagram I mean some of these people might remember something that happened on this show we presume I certainly don't so yeah that's that's

gonna be a Jordan Jesse go pod you can also find us at Facebook comm slash Jordan Jesse go or Jordan Jesse go on Twitter and we will talk to you next time on this very program. Oh yeah. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. The End.