Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Rorschach Bean with Alison Rosen

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

Alison Rosen joins Jordan and Jesse this week to talk about how Jesse will dispose of his car, the most passionate online groups and whether or not taffy is good.Listen to Alison's podcasts  Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend, Upworthy Weekly and Childish anywhere you get your podcasts!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. So this is what's happening in my life, Jordan. You know, I drive this Volvo station wagon. Great family car. Yeah, I've seen it. Beautiful, beautiful machine. I'm going to have to take it down to the gas station.

And I hate to do this because I had this car, what, six years, seven years, something like that. Oh, yeah, Volvos. You can drive them forever, says people who own Volvos to me. And normally, of course, normally I could, except that I have to take it down to the gas station and douse it in gasoline and light it on fire, which I hate to do. Oh, no.

That's the last thing I want to do. It's been such a great car. Yeah, it seems like you could probably get another six years out of that thing. Apparently, Volvos, you can drive them forever. I mean, obviously, there's other things I could do. I could like tie a brick to the gas pedal and then take it to a lake. So you're looking for ways to destroy the car. Yeah, because...

Rather than sell it or donate it to your local public radio station, Cars for Kids. Have you heard the song? It's not. I'm hearing it right now, thanks to you saying those words. And the whole audience is. You're welcome. You're welcome. An Orthodox Jewish summer camp in upstate New York, I think, is who benefits from that, if I remember correctly. Oh, yeah? Those are the kids? Yeah, that's the kids in question.

I love those love those little suckers yeah i'm gonna have to i mean there's obviously so you're destroying the car donating it different options donating it is out yeah selling it is out i could put lion food on it and then have a bunch of lions eat it whatever it takes to you don't think they would just eat the food off the car you think they would also eat the car i don't think they would just eat the food off the car? You think they would also eat the car? I don't know. They're not that smart. I mean, they hunt in packs. You're right. But if I got the dude lions, they don't even hunt in packs. Okay. You know, the classic lions with the manes. Right. You know, the other ones are the ones that...

In lion society, the women hunt in packs while the men kind of hang back and work solo. Beautiful. Anyway, yeah, I'm going to probably... Beautiful picture you're painting. You're going to... Okay, so you need to destroy the car. My only concern is the gasoline is so expensive right now, thanks to Joe Biden.

Yeah, thanks a lot. Can't even destroy our Volvos. Yeah, that guy keeps raising the price of gasoline. Intentionally. On purpose. Yeah. Because he hates working people. So he can buy more train tickets.

Yeah. He's just buying train tickets with that, I hear. So he can go to Scranton? Yeah. Where does he like to go? I believe that's correct. Buy more laptops for Hunter. This guy loves laptops.

Yeah. Political satire is what we're doing. I'm going to douse my car in gasoline and light it on fire to destroy it. Because one of the vents is making a little noise. You know how there's the air vents? Mm-hmm. Can you imitate this noise? Oh, so it's singing the theme song to white lotus

it sounds cool it sounds like it would get you pumped for some dark comedy you know there's shit that happens in cars that you just fix it like your tires wear out you just get new tires yeah you know you break your transmission you get new get a rock hits your windshield and cracks all over the you know you just go to the windshield so you think this is an unfixable problem this little noise what how am i gonna figure out what inside the heads inside my fans inside my dashboard behind my airbags and cd player and whatever the fuck how am i going to figure out which one sounds like a dying parakeet well i mean my first thought and again i'm not a volvo owner but i have interacted with them yeah can i make a guess as to what it is what my interactions with volvo owners were no no what your first thought is uh sure tnt

oh to to blow up the car yeah because it's unfixable it's unsalvageable i don't think it is i can't drive around with a little fucking parakeet in my dashboard. No. Having its little parakeet toes torn off or whatever the fuck is going on in there. I have two thoughts on what you could do. TNT is not one of them. Okay. One, I would imagine from having talked to Volvo owners that there is a passionate online community of Volvo people who would love to help you with your problem. There's passionate communities out there. There's people who recently got an air fryer, home brewers, Bitcoin guys. These are the people who want to. I already, I asked on a Facebook group about Instant Pot recipes. Literally no one

knew. Just one lady said, if you can't afford the gasoline, TNT is a better option. Right. And then one person said something it was the whole thing about beans and it sounded

good and easy. So maybe it seems like what happened is you went to the wrong passionate community. Right. Search your local social media site. Yeah. And I hope you're using a local social media site. Yeah, of course. Think globally, post locally.

Yeah. You know I love to check in. Sure. So go to your local social media site. Try and find a community dedicated to Volvo people. Not Volvo people. That's a different website. That's a different website.

Jordan, is it the same website as the Volvo people? No, it's not. That's a different website. Got it. Is this a new catchphrase? That's a different website. Yeah, I think so. I mean, why not?

You know, saying that for the next year. Yeah. What are we doing? So great. Okay. Find the Volvo people where they are, where they live. Right. Ask them this thing.

Maybe you take a video where you can hear the noise posted up there. I bet not only will you have dozens of Volvo people coming to your aid and arguing in the comments, but maybe you'll make some new friends. Go to a Volvo meetup sometime. Jordan? Yeah. Let's just say, hypothetically, and honestly, I don't think this is true. Hypothetically, they give me something other than the TNT thing, the gasoline thing, and the beans thing. Let's say they solve this sound, which is unsolvable.

It comes in and out at random times, unsolvable. But let's say they solve it. It's great to see someone finally using Jennifer Coolidge, right? Really using Jennifer. Sorry, I think about White Lotus every time you She's good. She's good at everything. You know, Mike White, remember when he went ahead and just competed on The Amazing Race like he wasn't an Oscar-winning screenwriter or whatever the fuck? It's a good thing about Mike White.

He seems great. Yeah. My point is this. If I don't blow up the car, I don't light the car on fire, and I'll make the beans, and I solve the problem. What am I going to do about the sun visor and how I push it up against the windshield, but then it droops backward, and because I'm tall, I can't see over the edge. And so either I have to hold up the sun visor or not use the sun visor at all. I mean, obviously, I can use it on the side window, but I'm talking about in front of me,

it's a safety issue. Yeah, boy. Yeah. It sounds like all those are the safest cars on the road. We'll tell that to this fucking sun visor. It sounds pretty fucked. Yeah.

Also, I get hit in the head by the, by the lift gate sometimes. Oh yeah. You know, the rear lift gate. Yeah. TNT,

man. Letting the kingdom come honestly jordan i'm gonna do a little bit of everything in the anarchist cookbook that's what i'm gonna download that yeah it's called the anarchist smorgasbord when you do one of everything from the anarchist cookbook download that in a text file from gopher hell yeah i'm gonna go ahead and put together a good unused book yeah what a fan dot volvo dot anarchist cookbook little molotov yeah sure maybe a some kind of um like a put-style airborne poison. Yeah, sure. Poison your car. Like a radioactive dust of some kind. Make it look like an accident. Our guest on the program is an old friend of ours. She is the host of Alison Rosen is Your New Best

Friend. In fact, she's the titular host of that program, Alison Rosen. Alison, if you had to destroy a car, what technique from the anarchist cookbook, the thing that your seventh grade classmates were constantly telling you they had downloaded from the internet, would you use? Oh my God. I mean, I was always fascinated with trying to get high from nutmeg. Right. I don't know.

I can't remember now if you just eat a lot of it like the cinnamon challenge or if you smoke it but i think i would do something with that i don't know how that would destroy the car but that was always what appealed to me about the anarchist cookbook now does this change anything i've already had the car snort some pixie sticks okay how did that work out for the car still making the fucking noise and now i gotta buy more pixie sticks yeah or easter is gonna be ruined what's the nutmeg supposed to do like how does it make how does it supposedly make you feel you're supposed to hallucinate and by the way allow me to add now that i have access to like the full range of drugs that an adult with access to drugs could i mean not like i have you know well you're a show business

insider that's right yeah not like i have a guy's number in my pocket but i'm just saying like if i feel like i'm fairly resourceful somebody could palm you some molly at the chateau marmont if that's still open. Yeah. I've never done shrooms, although I certainly talk about wanting to do them a lot. I've never taken acid. Like, I have missed the window for hallucinogens. However, in high school, I was so interested in potentially hallucinating from nutmeg or something. I don't know, because it seemed like somehow, like, it's right in my parents' spice drawer. If I could just figure out how to-

It seems like it would be a nice kind of like seasonal holiday hallucination, you know? Yes. I do love Christmas. The kids call it noggin. Dude, you know, I'm noggin so hard, bro. Exactly. Listen, I took a lot. First of all, it's criminal that you sidelined me during that conversation. Okay. I mean. It is.

Guilty as charged. We should both go to jail. Yeah, I don't mean criminal figuratively. It's literally criminal. So I took some notes and I had already come in with notes. Right. Thank you, Allison. I'd come in with notes. This is why you get Rosen on your podcast. Comes prepared. We need to talk about, but then those notes take a backseat to some other things we need to talk

about. Alison Rosen is prepared, but flexible. This is like a Greg Barrett set at the Uncabaret 1998. I have to tell you, I was just telling someone this. We were talking about dating books, the category of which is embarrassing to begin with. But Greg Barrett co-wrote a book that to this day i feel like helped me a little bit more than many of the others this is so file this under so embarrassing but this is uh he's he's just not that into you yes big uh big publishing phenomenon in like mid 2000s right is that when that came out yes really, my friends told me about it and it really did like break through my dating confusion in a way that many of the other ones didn't. Greg Barron, great standup comedian, was like a consultant on Sex and the City.

Yeah. He and another writer came up with this catchphrase for an episode of Sex and the City. Sex and the City, right. And it became so popular that he and I believe the other writer wrote a book, which became a gargantuan phenomenon. And now on Greg's website, you can get like dating coaching from him. Really? One of the nicest and funniest guys in comedy, just a real legit genius, Greg Barrett, got a daytime talk show out of this catchphrase.

Yes. I think of him as like, he's very tan. He has frosted tips and he has sunglasses, but he's got good dating advice. And he has good dating advice. His commitment to the chain wallet is- You've described me except for the sunglasses and the good dating advice. I know, Jordan, we know you don't have frosted tips you know you have naturally frosted tips from the swimming pool anyway the sound that the the vents are making in your car you said dying parakeet but

to me do you guys remember zomfear master of the pan flute oh you don't no master of the pan you don't remember i think i like i would i would remember that i think that's the fortune teller from big is that not the fortune teller from the zoltar zoltar the zoltar yeah no zom fear someone certainly remembers saxon is kind of a 2.5 d perspective. I think Zompier, there were infomercials for him late at night. He had a pan flute. Are you thinking of John Tesh? But is this in that same category

of like pure moods, live at the Acropolis, that kind of... Yes, but he would play a pan flute and it was just like... Sounds great. I'm having like a asmr physical trauma reaction i know related to the vent in my volvo that's what i'm saying it's full-on zomphere okay don't even make this model anymore jordan i burn it down and I get myself a Hyundai. Go ahead, Allison.

And then when you wanted to guess Jordan's interaction with fellow Volvo owners, I was guessing sex. Have you not slept with any of them? Have you just talked? The Swedes are a good looking people. Yeah. not slept with any of them have you just the swedes are a good looking people yeah i let me think have i ever huh i don't know uh maybe that's uh really yeah it's a notch that i don't have on my belt have you thought about fucking more grandmas from berkeley yeah you know they're really they're they're picky you know i feel like there could be hipster hipster ladies who drive Volvos.

Wait, can I tell you how you how you keep from having premature ejaculation when you're fucking a grandma from Berkeley? Sure. How do you? Hey, Jesse. Yeah, I was wondering. I know I've got a baseball team and the people on the baseball team have some very unusual names. Yeah. But names aside, they have a problem with premature ejaculation when they're fucking a Volvo owner from Berkeley. How might they solve that problem?

Jordan, they should visualize world peas. Oh, that's so good. They should do they should do a jesus fish but with legs and it says darwin inside they should have a bake sale for the military but the schools have all the money they buy a bomber yeah back to you allison rosen coexist. Did you say coexist? I said coexist, yeah. Yeah, that's where I was headed with that. And then you were talking about passionate online groups. To me, the most passionate is any Facebook mom group. And I once posted, and I didn't get, and I hope it's okay for me to say this here.

I didn't get a lot of flack for this, and I still stand by it. I posted a question on a mom's group because I wanted a cunt's opinion. Wow. I said that on Twitter. Nice. Which is dying, you know. Yeah, I've heard about that.

I think it's better than ever. Yeah. I think we're currently in the golden age of Twitter. I love everybody running around like chickens with their heads cut off. It's a lot of fun. Can I tell you my top three Facebook moms groups? Oh, yes. Number three is going to be South Pasadena Family Free Cycle. Oh, what is that? Free cycling is like when you give things away. Like a buy nothing?

Yeah, like a buy nothing. Okay. Number two is going to be Northeast Los Angeles Little League Moms. Ooh, love it. And number one is going to be QAnon. They're fun. They're fun. That's my big three.

And I love how the QAnon people, they want to meet up outside the group. They want to meet IRL, Taco Tuesdays, Pickleball. They're fun. Nobody, seriously. Where we drink one, we drink all. Nobody loves Margs like QAnon loves Margs. Okay? Listen, I don't agree with everything.

I don't agree with everything they say. You know what the deep state hates? Salt on the rim. Okay. Not invited. Not invited. I tried some free cycling during my last move. There was some stuff that I just thought needed to be replaced. Didn't want it anymore. Perfect perfectly good stuff. So I tried to go on these free sites and Facebook groups and things like that. And the fucking pain in the ass it was to get a flake to come over and take your desk. They need massive time windows. They will inevitably text you 10 minutes before they're supposed to be there with the longest fucking block of text with details about their personal life

that are explaining why they can't come pick up your desk. The weird flaky people you have to deal with always makes that feel like more of a pain in the ass than it's worth i love the ethos behind it i love not just junking something i have a lot of like free hand-me-down things that i love i want to do it for other people but like i just i just can't deal with someone whose common law husband is waiting in the truck. I just, it drives me fucking insane. You got to lock it down. This is the system. I'm a Craigslist master.

30 years in the game, 25, 25 years in the game, let's call it. What you got to do is no matter what they text you, say, are you on your way right now? If they're not on their way right now, tell them, let me know when you are. The end. They're either on their way right now or they're dead to me. But then you got to find another flake. And that person will have another fucking deal that they have. Flakes find you, baby.

Yeah, because when Jesse said you got to lock it down, I thought he was referring to the common law husband in the truck. Oh, yeah. You also, yeah. I mean, you need a German shepherd or whatever will keep that CLH in that truck. You do not want that door opening. And the other thing about it is. Yeah, he'll bolt.

That guy will bolt the first chance he gets. These guys will cross the center console. So you have to protect both sides. You have to keep the flanks tight. If you only have one dog, put an

open trash can next to the other one. Sure. The raccoons will keep it locked down. Yes. Allison, have we gotten to all your notes? No, we only did the new notes. We've got a hearty batch of old notes. Can I ask this about the old notes, Allison?

Sure. Are these like studio notes? Is this just a more successful podcaster with some thoughts about what we could do on this show. Oh. Great first effort. I mean. Unsalvageable. Yes.

I've worked up a report. Sure. Can I share my screen with you? Yeah. Thank you. Wow. You've got a deck to show. Rosen's got a deck.

You know, I have. Rosen's got a mood board. I've pulled up some comps. I've got a deck to show. Rosen's got a deck. You know, I have- Rosen's got a mood board. I've pulled up some comps. I've got the comps. I've got some comparable podcasts. You want us to fix Jordan, Jesse? I'm looking at the mood board now. This is just pictures of Paul McCartney

when he moved to Scotland. I'm just setting the tone. Look, if this doesn't work for you you know I mean the sweaters are great but I don't see how it connects to our podcast I'm just asking you to think outside the box thank you and the box is the Beatles in this case you know and then I just was gonna show you what is that when you uh well, this joke's, it's not working. Then I'll stick with it. Neither have any of ours.

I did 20 minutes about the noise in my dashboard. It did really upset me, but you know. Okay, listen. Yeah. One of you has like a crush on the Hanover bean boy. What's going on? Yeah. Jordan's pretty into this bean boy. Yeah. Have you hanover bean boy what's going on yeah jordan's pretty into this bean boy yeah let

me explain this bean boy i have an idea in my head but let me explain why on alice moses new best friend we have a segment called daniel's cool beans k-e-w-l-b-e-a-n-z daniel quant's your husband yes exactly we have a very catchy song we don't need to i think everybody's run into this guy in the instant pot facebook group he's he gets heated i'm sorry but he heats up so fast um and then he over he i hear your house is a real pressure cooker let's take a minute let's take a minute to appreciate the instant pot joke i just was great. Thank you. Thank you. I, myself, side note, never cooked a great meal in an instant pot,

but it was fast, but not cooked well. I'm sure it's a me thing. Anyway, we have a very catchy song that Tony Thaxton did to kick off Daniel's Cool Beans, which means that Daniel is tethered to this segment, Daniel's Cool Beans, where he reviews beans. But it's like he never really seriously reviews beans.

He was eating a lot of beans. It was real farty around here. And so then I'm like, you should review beans. And then it turned into this thing. So someone. You've always had, Allison, a musical family. Yes. So I heard via Twitter, the aforementioned dying Twitter, I heard about someone's crush. Now I know it's Jordan's on the Hanover bean boy. In my mind, he's like...

I'll just say it's, I wouldn't call it a crush. It's not, it's like, it's just being like, fucking stoked whenever I see him on that can he's such a just the the like confidence the fucking swagger of this i gotta look him up because in my mind it's like a little boy blue does he have a horn and a hat that's the vibe no horn to be clear allison just so you know it's sort of like uh is that the oath i believe it's the oath films where an adult woman appears to be a child okay in fact an adult running an evil scheme oh also like esther right yeah so the bean boy is not necessarily evil i put him in the chat but he's running that kind of operation, which is why it's okay that Jordan has a sexual relationship. It's not. No, it's not. It's just liking his vibe.

Sexually. It's not sexual. This little drawing is what you're into, Jordan? Yeah, I just, every time I take out the can and get ready to open up his beans, I'm like, this guy's got it figured out. Squad goals, right? Allison, I'll tell you what happens. Okay. It's a little different than I was expecting.

He takes a look at this little Quaker boy. Yeah, he's really cherubic, but also looks like he's up to something evil. He looks at this little Quaker boy, the bean boy, and this little fella is saying, ain't I a stinker? Yes! So Jordan gets inspired. He eats a lot of beans, and guess who's the stinker now? I'm the stinker. I'm the little stinker. Yeah, Jordan's the stinker i'm the stinker i'm the little stinker it's the stinker but i guess at some point this the bean boy was replaced by kid bean there was some some hanover fans were in my menchies

since that episode dropped let me put i'm putting a pic of kid bean okay i'm really interested to see now this is this is kid from kid and play is that correct no i was i was excited okay i thought we were going to a house party but no oh this is just a bean with hands it's a big fucking living bean with a duh by my beans look on his dumb Fucking pinto face. Eat me. Jordan, scroll down to related content. I'm a human kidney. And look in the upper left. There's like a very evil. There's a Vandekamp's boy.

There's an evil Vandekamp's boy who's wearing a stolen fishing hat. Oh, yeah. Look at this Vandekamp's motherfucker. Yeah. This guy. He's evil. This guy is up to this. Yeah.

He has a lot of darkness within him. The Hanover boy looks like he's got a finger in a dike, right? Like the Dutch boy of legend who held back the waters. I'll tell you about this fucking bean. In this search that you've shared with us, there's an eBay auction for a plushie of this bean. And the title is Raisin Doll. Oh, somebody thinks he's a California raisin. Yeah, I think so.

But I think it bespeaks what a garbage bean he is. Yeah, he sucks. He's really terrible. Kid Bean can go pound sand. I'm all about the Hanover Bean Boy. Oh, is he a kidney bean? Oh, yeah. Oh, maybe that's it.

I didn't get... Well, maybe I like him now. I'll tell you this. He does certainly look like something that you would wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing. Yes, go to the doctor. I'm sorry,ordan yeah remind me what it is you feel when you look at the hannah verbeen boy it's just like pants are too small yeah he looks like he needs to take a dump or something it's aspirational for me it's like why our dads went to james bond movies you know it's

like this if i just chilled the fuck out got a straw hat now jordan i have one of these hats do you want to borrow it i mean i think i need to i mean thank you first of all thank you you're welcome i bought it on ebay yeah i think i need to find my own hat or i need to kill the hanover bean boy and take his hat highlander style. If you just chilled out, you could what though? Because he's standing there. He looks uncomfortable. His pants are too tight and too short. And he's just like, like, if he could make a sound, it would be like this.

I mean, I think he I think what we have here is an inkblot test. I think you when you look at the Hanover Bean Boy, you see what you want to see. And I think what I see is undeniable swagger and confidence well I also to be honest I'm I don't have a great image of him so not only is he a Rorschach bean he's blurry yeah so there's that I think we'd love to open this up to the to the listeners we'll we'll put it we'll put a clear pick of the Hanover Bean Boy. Not Kid Bean, who fucking sucks. Kid Bean is a kid, by the way.

The Hanover Bean Boy, obviously, an adult masquerading as a child. Right. Kid Bean is a child. And to be honest, this guy's as dumb as a rock. Yeah. Just like a fucking kid. Doesn't even know how to count yet shameful repeating first grade uh yeah no i think we'd love to hear from the audience what you when you look at the hanover beaten boy what do you see you know i'd love some slash fic oh sure what if he met a certain tiger that loved frosted flakes yeah i'd love to read a story about

the hanover bean boy really railing spock maybe he has to take refuge at a certain chocula manor he has to get out of the storm oh it's rainy outside allison can i ask you a question about the state of our friendship? Sure. Now, this just got exciting. Okay. The last time I was on your show, Allison Rosen, your best friend. One of your shows.

You have many shows. Yeah. It's the flagpole. The flagpole. Always have a great time on that show. Tons of fun. The last time I was on, we talked about the Candies of the Elderly came up. Oh, yes.

And the room was split on taffy. Yes. Jesse, how do you feel? Can you just weigh in so we know where you're at before we get into taffy talk? Taffy, do you like it? We were talking about specifically saltwater taffy talk taffy we were talking about salt specifically saltwater taffy right and by the way i've got a real coda to the story oh okay an inappropriate coda time okay i'm first of all i just want to say thank you for clarifying we're talking about saltwater taffy initially i

thought we were talking about novelist taffy brodesser. Oh, yeah. Her show is on right now. However. Fleischmans. Welcome to Fleischmans. However, leaving that aside, saltwater taffy? I love it. I love this stuff. Can't get enough.

Whoa! A lot of great flavors that actually taste different. A lot of great colors. You can chew it quickly and swallow it, or you can make it last. Oh, do my ears deceive me? Oh, my God. I don't think I've ever encountered someone who feels this way, and I don't think I wanted to. No offense.

It tastes great. Oh, no, it doesn't. You know what? No offense. It tastes great. Oh, no, it doesn't. You know what? When I am at Trader Joe's, this guy, God knows what he traded for them, but he has delicious small bags of taffy. I'll order one and I'll eat straight through it over the course of two weeks, let's say.

Now, does it get stale? A small bag over the course of two weeks, if you liked it, I think it would go faster. I'm eating about two or three taffies a day because I'm a responsible, I'm an adult like the Hanover Bean Boy. What flavor does Trader Joe's have? They have a variety of flavors. There's like a raspberry, a cherry, primarily fruity flavors. I don't need a root beer flavor or a chocolate flavor to feel like a man.

Does it have the traditional saltwater texture of like crinkly plastic? It's soft and toothsome. It's chewy, but not hard. Okay, then this is not traditional saltwater taffy then. This is Trader Joe's special. Yes, it is traditional. Traditional saltwater taffy. That's what the tradition is.

You unwrap it. The proud tradition of taffy pullers by the sea. Traditional saltwater taffy. You unwrap it. Seaside taffy pullers, Allison. Traditional saltwater taffy from Atlantic unwrap it. Seaside taffy pullers, Allison. Traditional saltwater taffy from Atlantic City. Oh, I'm sorry. Allison, where did you go to college?

Pomona College, home of saltwater taffy on the West Coast. Their mascot was the taffies. That's weird because I went to college at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, where they pull taffy live before your very eyes. And you know who's working there? Yeah, that's right. Adam Scott. Adam Scott

worked at the taffy place at the boardwalk. That's a true story. He doesn't currently work there. It sounds like he's there right now. On the side, because he has passions. Right. When he's not shooting severance. Also, when we were talking about Taffy, Broaddus or Ackner's book, I said,

Welcome to the Fleischmans, and I don't think that's what it's called. Is it called Welcome to Fleischman? It's called Fleischman is in Trouble, right? That was the name of the novel. Fleischman is in Trouble. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad we corrected that well anyway in my experience you

unwrap saltwater taffy it looks exactly the same once it's unwrapped in terms of like crinkly and then you bite into it and it's like it's like breaking a little chunk of glass plastic and then it's got weird texture and no flavor and you think if you're me you think to yourself yep it's always highly disappointing i do not get the hoopla the good stuff is as full of flavor as public enemy that is well again i'm shocked i've never had this experience. Maybe I need to go buy taffy from Adam Scott. Maybe you're not even eating taffy. Maybe this is ABC, already been chewed gum. Right. Maybe I'm eating actual plastic. I'll say where I'm at about taffy. I really like it. As we've discussed before on the show, I'm a real texture queen.

Texture is very important to me. And I will sacrifice flavor if I'm into the texture of something. For instance, a not super ripe blackberry. Don't care. Love the texture. Jesse, did you know that Jordan is nuts for blackberries? A nasty texture queen? Yes.

Did I know that he had a specific passion for getting seeds in his teeth? No. Ooh, love to get them in. Love to get them out. But I'll tell you this. The old in and out. A lot of people would say that I'm not a texture queen,

but they should see me go ape shit for some Haribo berries. Oh, though I do enjoy those. Those are good. That's a good texture. Those are good. So I love the texture of taffy. I love its smoothness. I love nominon it.

Yeah. Like Jesse said, you can you can hork them down or you can savor the flavor. When I was in Austin a few weeks ago, I went to their like. Taffeteria. like... Cafeteria? The cafeteria. No, they have one of those, I forget the name of the place, but it's one of those like old time soda counters and they have, you know, ice cream and, you know, a bunch of kind of kitschy bottled sodas.

And they had a just a taffy selection that would blow your mind. Out of classic barrels, all the flavors of the rainbow. That's right. I think rainbows have flavors. I'm dumb. It's funny that we say that. Allison, you're laughing at Jordan. Have you ever, have you ever even tried munching on a bow?

No, I have. You get your highest nutmeg, man. I'm laughing with Jordan. We're all laughing. And I'd never munched a Jordan. I'm laughing with Jordan. We're all laughing. And I'd never munched a bow. I wish I had. That's why I was getting these taffies out of these barrels. I wish I knew the name of this store.

I would recommend it to everyone. It was terrific and the taffy was fantastic. I took a picture of the taffy barrels. I don't believe it. I don't believe it for one second. And I was about to just like start randomly texting you pictures of taffy throughout the day. And I'm like,

is Allison this kind of friend? I don't know. Can I just randomly text you pictures of something you don't like? Taffy taunting? Yes. Yeah. Okay. But then you felt like we weren't that kind of friend?

Yeah. I'm like, you know, yeah, I did. I kind of like felt like, oh, this is of friends? Yeah, I'm like, you know, yeah, I did. I kind of felt like, oh, this is, I saw it, I'm like, oh, I should text Alice in this picture of this taffy. This will be funny. Vis-a-vis our last show we did. But then I'm like, am I just like weird text in the middle of the day person, you know?

No, I would have loved that. Okay, okay. Yeah, next time please but wait i have a question and by the way i love that we can have this conversation it's the kind of conversation we can only have on a podcast right mustn't talk about it in person when there's no mics on but what is the fear like let's say we weren't those kind of friends then what is the fear? Like, let's say we weren't those kind of friends. Then what is the concern? I would just be like, weird. Yeah, just kind of like, you know, you're like, I am busy.

I have many podcasts. I have many children. And this guy is just texting me taffy. What's this about? You know, I know that it would be it would be a burden would be a burden you know no it wouldn't have i would have loved the taffy pictures so in the future please yes i consider us those kind of friends okay the taffy pics would be welcome and please feel free to text me pictures of things that i don't like trying to think what that would be let me think don't oh i know hard-boiled eggs

oh yeah hard-boiled eggs i don't like those and i do like those now when you said just barrels of taffy i'm just thinking like this is the kind of situation i would be sucked in by because i'm always like yes bulk saltwater taffy all the flavors of the rainbow and then it's always all disappointing. But you guys are saying it's not. I just don't know if I can go there again. At the end of the day, Alison Rosen is a well-known ox cart man. She brings her goods to town, and by the time she's sold off her oxen, she's ready to hit the general store and buy some shit out of barrels.

She's ready to hit the general store and buy some shit out of barrels. Maple candy, taffy, some maple syrup poured onto snow. Yes. Peppermint, a Christmas orange. The classic barrel foods. Yes. You guys want to have a little barrel snack and then come back for more? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go.

It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Now, before we get into this, Jordan, I want to mention, we are doing our first big open to the public live show in years. It's going to be a fucking blast at San Francisco Sketch Fest on Sunday, February 5th. It's at the Gateway Theater, 8 p.m. We're going to have some super cool guests, lots of surprises. We always love coming to SketchFest, and we're glad to be back. It hasn't happened in a couple of years, so we're stoked. You can get those tickets at sfsketchfest.com, sfsketchfest.com. We're going

to put that link on all of our social medias. We can't tell you any guests yet, but it's going to be a cavalcade of stars. A cavalcade of stars. Given that it's in San Francisco, we're going to bring out all of the biggest stars of San Francisco, from Dave Eggers to Jello Biafra to, I guess, the Seals from Pier 39 or whatever. Alcatraz is going to be there. A cable car. John Giardelli himself. Yeah.

Chocolate king of the Bay Area. There's lots of great people we can bring in from across the Bay. And there's also always lots of great people in town for Sketch Fest. We had Andy Richter on one a couple of years ago. We had Tony Hale on one a couple of years ago. It is going to be, it's going to be star studded, suffice it to say. So if you're in San Francisco or you're thinking about making a little weekend trip to Sketchfest, go out and see it. You know, make a weekend trip. See Judge John Hodgman on Saturday night and Jordan Jesse go on Sunday night. It's going to be a ton of fun. A ton of fun. And we have new t-shirts in the MaxFun store. There is the Nicknames one that has

Radio Sweetheart and Boy Detective and Repeat and Clankety Car and Explodo. And then we have a beautiful t-shirt that just says Saying Words. Yeah, go to maxfunstore.com. All those designs were made by our very own Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. These are beautiful shirts, premium shirts. You're going to love them. Delight slash confuse everyone around you with a Jordan Jesse

Go Inside Joke t-shirt. MaxFunStore.com. They're all there. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Jesse and I have both talked a lot on this show, both in a joking way and in a serious way about therapy, something that I waited a long time to do, but I'm really, really glad that I did it. Weekly therapy is a huge benefit for me. It really makes my life better. I was definitely a little bit nervous to try it at first, but I'm super glad I did. It's just a great way to process problems, big and small, a great way to not burden those around me with constant complaints. It's been really, really helpful. And if it's something you've been thinking about doing, we really suggest you try it. There's a lot of ways to get therapy. You can ask your doctor

for a recommendation. You can go to a community clinic, but you can also check out BetterHelp. They're the world's largest therapy service. They've matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists, available 100% online, plus it's affordable. You just fill out a brief questionnaire, match with a therapist, and if things aren't clicking, it's also very easy to switch to a new therapist anytime. Online is easy. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month

at betterhelp.com slash JJGO. That's betterhelp.com slash JJGO. We're also supported this week by the folks over there at Mint Mobile. These are the best deals in wireless, Jordan. The best. Now, Jesse, you know, I'm not a techie guy, you know? No, what do you people think you are, Leo Laporte on computers? No, no, I'm not. I barely understand how to text the pizza guy. What do you think this is, tech TV? No, it's not.

This is Jordan, Jesse, go. But anybody with a mobile phone who wants to save a little money can switch easily and effortlessly with one of Mint Mobile's eSIMs. It's very easy. I did it. I was scared to try a new electronic device, but they made it so easy to switch. If you want to save a little money, Mint Mobile is a great way to do it. And also, if you need a new device, you can get six months of free service when you buy a select device and plan for a limited time.

All the plans are unlimited talk and text plus high-speed data on the nation's largest 5G network. Just because you're getting a discount rate doesn't mean you're getting discount service. For a limited time, buy any three-month Mint Mobile plan and get three more months free by going to mintmobile.com slash jjgo. That's mintmobile.com slash JJ Go. That's mintmobile.com slash JJ Go. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash JJ Go. Let's get back to Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Taffy Agnostic. Who knows? That is a fucking Facebook mom group right there. Taffy's not real. Kyrie Irving is in there.

Have you ever even seen a napkin? Yes. I haven't. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN here on Jordan Jesse Goes. Someone did call in with something momentous. This is what it is. Hey, this is Mike from Colorado. I just had a momentous occasion. I ate

two whole russet potatoes. Went to the grocery store, bought them, brought them home, sliced them up into french fry-like store, bought them, brought them home, sliced them up into French fry-like shapes. Fried them up and just ate them all myself. It's a lot of potato. It was good. It was momentous. I mean, the good news is you're getting all your amino acids.

Should we retire this segment? No. Are there no more momentous occasions? This guy ate two taters. I'm happy for this person. What's the most taters you ever ate, Jordan? Let's talk about- Tater talk.

I don't know, man. One. So I guess this guy's eaten twice as many potatoes. This guy ate fucking twice as many tatties as you, dude. Yeah. I mean, and I guess it's interesting if he had didn't have them with anything but just made like a bunch of oven fries and ate them but i bet they were a side dish to something he fried him i don't look i don't want in the same way that i

presented a deck about your show comparable podcast successful campaigns i don't want to have to do the same kind of work for his momentous occasion but i just feel like it up it needs it yeah i feel like he just needed to raise the stakes a little bit because he said that he polished off two whole russet potatoes steaks a great thing to have with potatoes yeah it just sounded to me like was there a threat afoot about the potatoes like i got home from the store and i ate two whole potatoes without my bear that i keep as a pet grabbing them and eating them or like i felt like there was something there that was going to steal the potatoes but he managed to grab them from the jaws of someone else. You know, the cops were coming and they were bringing a tater sniffing dog. Yes.

Yes. And, you know, and I think we were guiding the listeners a little bit. I mean, I think in the past we've said, like, you know, we've been doing the show a long time. This is a long running segment. It's like we've, you know, we've heard all your sex stuff. You nasty freaks. We've heard all your sex stuff, you nasty freaks. We've heard First Three Way. We've heard I've tried anal for the first time.

But I think what we're getting at is like, are there some other avenues we could explore? Now, I would, again, nothing against Tater Dude. He seems great. But I could have really gone for an anal story there. No. You can't put a russet potato up your ass, Jordan. If you attach a bit.

Can't or won't. Thank you, Allison. You're welcome. Sounds like somebody needs to unpack their baggage vis-a-vis what a potato can and can't do to one's butt. It sounds like somebody needs to unpack their rectum vis-a-vis two taters that are up in there. What's in there? Now, I'm having trouble visualizing a russet potato vis-a-vis, and I do love the heavy use of vis-a-vis size. Makes it sound very cool.

I'm imagining it's red, but not as red as one would think, right? A russet is a classic tater. That's the one that you make into a baked potato. It's usually a big boy, too. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's a big brownie. This is momentous. Maybe a new potato.

I mean, I'm not saying that this person didn't eat a lot of potatoes they did they ate a lot of potatoes why are you trying to fucking gaslight this guy i'm not thinking that he's never even eaten a potato i think he's eaten a lot of potatoes and that's that's that's fine's great. Good. I mean, I don't know. Maybe should you have more? Do you need that much starch in one meal? I don't know. I'm not your doctor. Jordan! Rec.sport.2taters. I just, I don't know.

What, let's, let's load a couple of three-way calls. Load a couple of my partner and I are furries we got a fella that just sucked his first dick let's yeah let's put that in there get some dick sucking let's hear we've we've opened up our thruple to a nice wombat furry that's that's what we're annual what do you got with re places people have stuck dicks? Yeah. You got any good dick stickers?

Put a dick sticker on the line. Put a dick sticker on there. What percentage of momentous occasions would you say you don't play because they're too like, oh, we can't play that? It's too momentous for podcast audiences. Oh, you know, I don't know. I mean, I think our producer goes through these. We, Jesse and I are hearing them for the first time. Whoever is in the producer's chair kind of goes through the... And by the way, this is great. People love to hear how the sausage is

made. This is like a DVD extra. So thrilled for the audience. Yeah. So the producer goes through them and then Jesse and I are hearing them for the first time on air. But yeah, the audience. Yeah, so the producer goes through them, and then Jesse and I are hearing them for the first time on air. But yeah, I don't know, Daniel, if you have an operational mic, are there any noted momentous occasions that you didn't play that you thought might be too spicy or included state secrets? This one was so mundane, it was a gamble of which way it would go. Okay. You really rolled the dice on this one. He has not been working for us that long, Allison. He's still in what amounts to a probationary period. Oh. And I'm going to tell you this right now,

as far as I'm concerned, he bought himself another six months because I love this tater thing. Yeah, should we have a contest? Should we have like a boring December or something like that where people can call in? I mean, the thing is, what's beautiful about this one is it's legit. Granted, it's mundane, but it's legit. This isn't a guy who just said, I ate a peanut butter sandwich. Yeah. Every one of us here I ate a peanut butter sandwich. Yeah. Every one of us here has eaten a peanut butter sandwich.

How many of us here has eaten two whole potatoes in one sitting? I don't think I ever have. Not in a notable preparation. Right. He didn't even double fry them. He just made fries. For a soft inside and a crispy outside. So he just ate a shit ton of fries.

I don't even even if they were just two baked potatoes i would be a little bit more impressed he just made a lot of fries i can eat a lot of fries what kind of fixings would you put on that jordan and the baked potato yeah if you're eating two i mean am i trying to get down the two for some sort of like contest or am I trying to enjoy am I trying to enjoy them? Like a fraternity initiation? If it was a contest would you dip them in water?

Right yeah Joey Chestnut style Just hork them down at Coney Island. Man fucking that is you know that's pretty dark Allison. Potatoes can't swim Alright Daniel what else we got? What else we got in the Allison potatoes can't swim alright Daniel what else we got in the call hopper

let's talk about these taters more no we've been talking we've talked about them a fine amount it's fine if I was going to enjoy the potatoes if I had them like I would have a baked potato I would do butter I would do sour cream

I would do chives sprinkle in I would do butter. I would do sour cream. I would do chives. Sprinkle in a shredded cheese. Butter and sour cream. Oh, yeah. That's fucking great. I'm a dairy freak. Good for you, dude. Yeah.

As a nasty texture freak, how do you feel about a baked potato? I like it. Yeah, I like it. If you're doing a steak dinner, I don't like, you know, I don't, I think so much 80s standup comedy has been made about how hard it is to make baked potatoes at home. So I don't make it at home a lot. But yeah, it's great. Great steakhouse side. That's my feeling. What are you putting on your taters, Allison? Not to be a copycat, but I got to go with Jordan's baked potato fixings. I'm going to go light on the chives. I feel like they're kind of ornamental.

Did you say cheese? I did, yeah. Sprinkled cheese, yeah. A little sprinkle and a shred of cheddar cheese. Real good on there. I've decided that I'm at a baked potato topping bar. And I think I'm going to do, am I going to I gonna do bacon bits I really my brother has a pet pig and ever since he has been filling my ear with like how sentient and amazing this pet pig is I really have not eaten pork so I probably actually wouldn't have the bacon bits but were that not the case in this

fantasy world of potatoes perhaps maybe a little bacon bits what am i oh oh olives olives yeah that's it that's my potato okay what about you jordan oh i saltwater taffy yeah i mean jesse sorry we are saltwater taffy friends and yet i i just messed up names it's i'm sorry it's because i'm tired and you guys both have names to start with jay it's reasonable jesse we have potato topping what are you doing i'm first of all i'm twice baking second of all i think honestly that you're except for the fact that you're putting a little sprinkling of cheese on there and I'm putting a shit ton. I mean, I'm a real fucking nasty texture bee myself, but that's the reason that I'm putting so much sour cream on there is I want to mix the sour cream with the potato because I don't love the taste or texture of a baked potato otherwise. But if I add enough butter and sour cream, I love it. That's because I'm

basically eating a cheesy sour cream snack and the potato basically serves as a binder. You know what? This has been great. I love the potato call now. I love it. I'm glad that Daniel played the call. This is time well used. Yeah, this is great great this is riveting just like every episode of jordan jesse go this is important stuff addressed clearly non-meanderingly it's not just shit that came up randomly that we're yelling about for no reason okay daniel let's play a new call and hopefully it's as amazing as that dumb potato one. Yeah, I'll give Allison some context for this.

On our show, we come up with a lot of our own segments just like you do on your show. It's not just shit that people call in. It is. And then say is a segment because they just wanted to say something to us on the phone. And we're fine with it because it means we don't have to come up with segments. This is a real segment that we came up with because we're smart. Go ahead. And hardworking.

Go ahead, Daniel. This is Joe calling in with another installment of your long-running segment, The Moranis Powerhouse Connection. Rush's 1978 album, Hemispheres, features an instrumental called La Via Strangiato. The band unintentionally- New rule of thumb for you, Daniel. Yeah. Anyone who cites a Rush album,

don't play their call. Get them on live. We want to connect, because I'm worried that the rest of this is not going to be about Rush. But I want to focus on Rush when we have the opportunity. Well, it's not, but who knows? We haven't played the rest of the call.

Which one's the tree album? It's an example of the question I would ask this. They got an album all about sentient trees. Go ahead. Greatest hits. All of their hit songs happen to be about trees unintentionally added a bit of powerhouse in the song when rush found out they gave the composer a financial settlement even though the statute of limitations had expired because they are nice canadians in 1982 getty lee sang take off In 1982, Geddy Lee sang Take Off, the hit single by SCTV's Bob and Doug McKenzie.

Here's the Moranis-Powerhouse connection. Bob McKenzie was played by Rick Moranis. Thanks, and keep up the great work. Holy fuck. This is big. Yeah. Number one, I just found out there's a statute of limitations on accidentally including some of Powerhouse in your song. I didn't even know that was a crime.

I mean, apparently the statute of limitations is over, so we can't go to jail for talking about Powerhouse for nine weeks. Allison, for you, we've been asking people to write lyrics to the Looney Tunes factory song that are about members of SCTV. Why are we doing this? Who knows? Why not? Gordon, we've been singing that much of Powerhouse repeatedly on this program. I know.

Are we in violation of this law? Should we be eating our taters so the tater sniffing dogs can't get to us? I mean, I think this is only a problem if someone listens to the show. Oh. Well, yeah, so we're in the clear. So fine, man. We're as clear as Tom Cruise, baby.

So that song that is called Powerhouse? It is. And you're having them write about SCTV members to that tune. To the tune of that, yes. Write and record. Write and record.

They don't just give us sheet music. It's an audio medium. Oh, well, you never know. You might want to frame it. We could give it to our house band. We could give it to Bradford and the boys. We got G.E. Smith here. He's ready to play.

Yeah. Follow me. Look for the changes. Amazing. Well, that's great. What a fun connection.E. Smith here. He's ready to play. Follow me. Look for the changes. Amazing. Well, that's great. What a fun connection. Yeah, that was really fun. He didn't explain which one is the tree one, though. That's true. I think that's because... That seems like a mistake.

We were listening to a recording and it came up in our conversation that he was not a part of. Yeah. I think that's why. But why wasn't he on live if we have a producer why wouldn't he think to bring that guy on live to tell us which is the tree one maybe he died between leaving the message and now it seems likely he sounded like he was on death's door now that you mentioned yeah he was knocking at heaven's door, as Rush once sang. See, if he were here, he could... Guns N' Roses.

If he were here, Jordan, he could have helped us. If he were here live, he could have explained that's a Guns N' Roses song. But Daniel fucking blew it, which is how he lost his six months. Oh, my God. Back to neutral now? Yeah, back to probationary period for Daniel. 206-9844-FUN. JJ, go.

Hey, Daniel, just get us some hot asparagus material next show. Get your commendation back. What are you putting on there? A lemon wedge? Yeah, a little squeeze of lemon. Put it back in the oven for five more minutes. Olive oil or butter? I do olive oil, but I don't think oil, but I think butter would probably be great.

Allison, imagine how great this segment would be if the Rush guy were here right now to tell us what he puts on his pancakes. How much of Tom Sawyer can we legally play just underneath this? We'll be back in just a second on jordan jessica i'm jordan cruciola the host of feeling scene where we talk about the movie characters that make us feel seen and i'm the show's producer marissa jordan you've interviewed so many directors actors writers film critics and i like to play this little game where i take a sip of coffee every time someone says that's such a great question that's such a fabulous question or they tell you how smart you

are I think that you are rather brilliant and of course the big one is when they cry unexpectedly yes Jordan I don't want to cry on your podcast I wasn't expecting to cry I mean it makes me kind of want to cry ah feeling seen comes out every Thursday on MaximumFun.org. Listen already. What are you waiting for? Jordan, that's such a great question. Hal Loveland here with breaking news on a revolutionary form of entertainment. Professional wrestling.

For more, we go to our correspondent, Danielle Ranford. Professional wrestling is the craze that's sweeping the nation, featuring fisticuffs and colorful costumes. But who can help us make sense of this world of body slams? Lindsay Kelk has the answer. Sources tell us of an amazing podcast called Tights and Fights, filled with discussions of the absurdity of professional wrestling, plus all the sincerity and hilarity that you could shake a stick at. Listen to the Tights and Fights podcast every week. Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

And your old-timey radio. Time in radio. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Alison Rosen, person who went to a Rush concert. Did you? I did.

And I got really sick after I went, unrelated. But I remember rolling around in bed with the flu with big money stuck in my head thinking like, I've never felt worse in my life and I hate this song. I assumed that you were like allergic to epic drum solos. And that too. Yeah. No, and I kept thinking I was still at the concert and like, I was like trying to get through the crowd and... Were you a fan or were you like was did you like get somebody's extra ticket or something? My friend who had an extra ticket invited me. I was a fan, but it was more like I was a fan of this guy who was a fan. OK, but I became a fan.

I was in high school. I became a fan, but I wasn't like, oh, yeah, I've been listening to Rush for my whole life or anything like that. But I did get into them, and I still like them. You were dating Rush boys in high school? I was not dating him, but I did. Well, I mean, I guess, what was I doing? I was hanging out with him, so I wouldn't call it dating. Did you kiss with him? Yeah, I guess I did. Did you kiss with an unusual time signature? Like more of a jazz time signature?

Occasionally, yes. So, yeah. It's funny that I had such a strong, like, I wasn't dating him reaction. I don't know why I had that reaction. Because it was such a, it was a high school thing that was so murky. And it's like, it was so undefined. What are we even doing? It was one of those, one of those, what are we doing?

And also, he was like, what are we doing with a couple of my friends as well. Oh, this is a slutty rush boy. Yes. One of those. Those rush sluts. Yes. Those, I believe the term, do they still use this term? Sensitive new age guy?

Who's a real sensitive new age guy? This guy was a sensitive new age guy who was into Rush? I think that's- You have a lot of shit going on. I think that tracks, right? It's coming in kind of a, you know, nerdier hippie. Is that kind of who your prototypical rush fan is the hippie part seems wrong but i just mean like he fit that category

in that he was like sensitive and like kind of dorky a lot of his friends were gals and then it turned out that like he was also doing there was a little of his friends were gals. And then it turned out that he was also a little more than friends with a bunch of us. Let me just say this, Allison. This is why I like Steely Dan. I would never have pulled that shit on you in high school. What a load of baloney. Yeah. I would have brought you to the Dan concert.

We could have noticed how great their studio musicians are always hired the best you know always hired the best can i give you guys a quick potato update yes sure in scotland of course everyone knows that potatoes are called tatties but in glasgow specifically according to this article from the scotland herald from 9th november 1989 in glasgow they're known as toddies oh toddies well that's a, that's a fun regional difference. It is a lot of fun. And then it says here that in Edinburgh, they put them up their butts. Is what it says here.

So open-minded. That's why they call it, they open-minded Edinburgh, they say. Yeah. No drama there. I got a cousin there. She's probably putting them in her butt. No way to know for say. Yeah. No drama there. I got a cousin there. She's probably putting them in her butt. You know, no way to know for sure. Yeah.

There's no, I mean, you can ask, but that's her private cousin. One of these McAnulty cousins. I didn't buy, I didn't. Anyway, listen. She and I went to a castle when we were there, and I didn't ask. I forgot to ask. Allison, as we've mentioned. I forgot to ask.

You have many podcasts. Yes. Allison Rosen is your new best friend. I am on it from time to time. I always have a blast. We fight about taffy, but we always come out better friends on the other side. That's right. Everyone should go listen to a Jordan episode of A-R-I-Y-N-B-F.

Please do. And then also I co-host Childish with Greg Fitzsimmons. That's our parenting-ish podcast. I say parenting-ish because oftentimes we'll be doing an episode for a while and then we'll be like, we should talk about our kids. So we also just talk about like life and relationships and we do some news on that show. That's a Jordan Allison, another Jordan Jesse Goh legend, the great Grapefruit Simmons. Yes, right.

Yes. And then also I do Upworthy Weekly, which is my lighthearted news podcast. And that comes out on Saturday mornings. That's the. Yes. And then also I do Upworthy Weekly, which is my lighthearted news podcast, and that comes out on Saturday mornings. That's the newest one. It is the baby of the bunch. Very proud of that one. Please check that one out. It'll put a smile on your face. It's funny and fun and newsy and yet light. Smile in your face and a tater in your hole. And a tater in your bum or a toddy, depending on where you are. Yeah, what do they call butts? They call, anyway.

Yeah. Our producer on the program, Daniel Zafran. Our producer emeritus, Brian Sunny D. Fernandez. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. We're on what's left of Twitter at twitter.com slash Jordan Jesse Go. We're on Instagram at Jordan David Morris, Jordan D. Morris, Jordan David Morris. I don't know who's squatting on Jordan D. Morris, but they're not putting out the kind of quality My Cat content that I am. We're on Instagram at Jordanmorris and at put.this.on we're on reddit which as far as i

can tell is not falling apart it seems like it's about the same at maximumfun.reddit.com we're on facebook facebook.com slash jordan jesse go i think that's enough stuff we'll talk to you next time on jordan jesse. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.