Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Sad Dab with Adam Conover

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

Adam Conover joins Jordan and Jesse this week to explain the idea of rolling coal, Grover's hair and his time working with Barack Obama.Check out Adam's show Factually! wherever you get your podcasts!Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free Shipping. Pre-order the new Archie horror anthology "Pop's Chocklit Shoppe of Horrors" featuring a story by Jordan himself today with the code JAN231229

give a little time for the child within you don't be afraid to be young and free undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart uh jordan morris anakin's neighbor oh well this is exciting news now when you say anakin's neighbor you're talking about anakin baldwin no i'm not talking about the bald brother who, I don't know, maybe went right wing. Yeah. No, I'm talking about. Okay, I'll back up a little bit.

I'll give you a little context for this nickname. I was looking at my Google News feed today. Okay. And, you know, this thing is generated via algorithm so it knows what you like yeah it's got the algo it's got the algo it gives you those the sweet stories that your pupils dilate just enough when you see them all the latest stuff about junk in the trunk in your case well that's what happens when i hit my instagram search but okay got it this is okay so there's there's two categories of stories that i'm always clicking on

when they appear in that google news feed first one local interests okay as you know i'm a proud member of the pasadena altadena la canada flint ridge part of la yeah and i always want to know what's going on in the neighborhood we're talking christmas tree lightings farmers markets officer involved shootings that'd be your big three i want to know about all of it so if there's a local story i'm clicking on it just so i know what's going down in the pasadena altadena la canada flint ridge rocket launches in the case of la canada flint ridge yeah home of the jet propulsion laboratory has the large hadron collider opened up any kind of portals i should be concerned about wow in old town pasadena right

by the j crew yeah yeah there's a cool portal to a hell dimension there now but you know you can stop in old spaghetti factory first is that what that is is your cheesecake factory used to be a coffee bean right it's okay local interests you got me, I want all the news you have regarding the Star Wars prequels. So like when Pete Davidson was dating Dexter Jetster, my app was blowing up. Absolutely. The latest Pete Davidson conquest, Dexter Jetster. Sure. When Kim K dumped that one guy to date Jar Jar.

When Kim K dumped that one guy to date Jar Jar. These are the stories I crave when I'm dicking around on the Google News feed. So I was thrilled today to get a story that combines both of my key interests. Wow. Local story and Star Wars prequel. I learned that Hayden Christensen, that's right, Anakin Skywalker himself, has purchased a home in Altadena. I got this information via a website called Dirt.com that does like celebrity real estate news. Have you ever seen this website? I haven't seen this, but I'm always excited to hear about celebrity real estate. Yeah. So it kind of, it kind of, you know, takes you through the home, its history, you know, give some facts about the celeb and,

and apparently they try and, they try and insert some cute puns into their headlines. they try and insert some cute puns into their headlines. Oh, this is exciting. I mean, as you know, Jordan, I'm a medium Star Wars guy, so I'm excited about anything Anakin Skywalker. Yeah, so you'll love this. This is how they announced Hayden Christensen's purchase of a new home in Altatina. Star Wars actor forces his way into rustic chic Altatina retreat.

Star Wars actor forces his way into rustic chic Altadena retreat. Now. Jordan, the Star Wars money has run out for Hayden. All he has left is that battering ram that he took home from the big battering ram scene. Listen, Hayden, he made his big comeback in the obi-wan series i think he's probably doing okay but yes this and i know what the force is okay before you get into my mentions right okay i know that the force is the you know energy that binds us all together and you can control it if your midi-chlorian count is high enough i know that's what they're getting at here these people in our audience, Jordan,

I just say this, for anyone who's new to the program, you're probably one of the biggest experts on the TV show that mandylchlorian there is. That's true. Yeah. I love them all from Grief Karga to whoever it is that Werner Herzog played.

Yeah. That's cool. And Werner Herzog was on there. Mainly grief carga though. So yes, it does sound like Hayden Christensen, Anakin Skywalker is just breaking into homes. Perhaps because he's angry at the people who live there.

Maybe because they're either younglings or piles of sand who Anakin Skywalker famously hates. But I also like the idea that maybe a, like, story about a break-in would complement the home. He forced his way into a rustic, chic, Altadena retreat with the cutest little breakfast nook. Do you think he made it all the way to the nook before he was gunned down?

No, I hope not. Oh, I just read the whole article. I should put it in the chat. It's a lovely home. I mean, I think what's most exciting to me about this is that this is a real celebrities are just like us situation. Right. Because the community of Altadena, California, which, as you know, I am a big fan of. I really like Altadena, California.

Beautiful little town. Oh, that every town could have a mysterious storefront that just says Party Masters in the window. But it is a solidly middle-class community. I mean, La Cunada Flintridge is where you're going to go. Typically, typically, if you have Obi-Wan money. Right. Okay. If the Obi-Wan money is coming in, you're going to move into La Cunada Flintridge, California, right there over there by the jet jet propulsion laboratory altadena is not that although i have to say i'm looking at the pictures this thing is pretty rustic chic it is rustic chic it is rustic chic as shit oh my you could really slaughter some younglings in this place if you know what i mean the fucking did you see that the dining room table is a ping

pong table oh no i didn't that's cool i want to i want to correct this what the table is a standard table it's a pine table to match the rustic chic aesthetic however there is a display of ping pong paddles and a clamp on ping pong net on this standard dining table. This is great. And this seems like less a retreat and more kind of a man cave. It's like Darth Vader had it on Mustafar. You know how I love man caves, Jordan. I do. Can I ask you another question about this house?

And I realize we're doing visual humor on this audio program, but it has a hot tub that I would describe as rustic chic. But this hot tub has like a five foot long big rig exhaust pipe sticking out of it. Oh yeah. That's for people who really take their tub and seriously. What is that called? When, when dickheads and lifted trucks blow giant clouds of black smoke, it's called like pushing diesel or something like that. I don't know. Yeah. It sounds about right. That's what this hot tub is doing. It's yoking clouds or whatever the phrase is. Do you think that he bought it specifically because it had an AT-AT in the study area? Oh, our guest in the chat is directing us and he's being very

polite not to talk before he's been introduced, but apparently it's called rolling coal. Rolling coal. Thank you. Well, let's introduce our guest here on the program. He's the host of the podcast, Factually. He's also a beloved television host, creating hilarious innovations in the world of nonfiction television. And, you know, Jordan, as a lot of us have gotten older, we've ended up yelling things on the bus. We've ended up yelling things on the bus. Well, our guest Adam Conover has taken to yelling things about the bus because he's a public transit advocate. Hi, Adam. How are you? Hi there. How's it going? I freestyled that introduction.

That was beautiful. It's so lovely to be taken off mute. I never want to breach the sacred boundary of speaking on a podcast before you're introduced. I did record my entire end of the conversation. There's about so far it's 200 megabytes of me saying nothing. But now I'm now I'm speaking. So our audience will be able to hear you shaking your head ruefully that you've agreed to be on this program. I don't know what I was doing. God, I blew off.

Wait, wait, don't tell me for this. Oh, it would be a delight. God damn it, you say. I could be on Tom Snyder right now. Adam, you knew the term rolling coal off the dome. You big lifted truck guy? Coal has been rolled on me. It's happened to me before.

Oh my gosh. I have been the recipient of some rolled coal. Was this because they knew about your TikToks, your pro bus TikToks? This was like 10 years ago. Me and a bunch of other comics were on the road going to, we were doing comedy at an EDM festival in Northern California. Whoa. That's where you want to do it. it was terrible it was the one of the worst gigs i've ever done and oh and so many things were horrible about this gig one of them was that our campsite ran out of molly and i was like i'll go to the cdm festival maybe i'll try molly i've never tried it before yeah could be fun i don't know sure went in rome right at a nice music festival worst music i've ever heard in my life at our

campsite it's like okay now it's time for us to all do molly and then the molly guy at the campsite was like open the envelope and he was like there's not enough and we were like oh and we all like sort of just like took little dabs and nothing happened and I was just like I felt like uh I felt like I was in a Sesame Street picture book about something bad that happens to Grover at school. Like it was really a disappointing. Oh, and then there wasn't enough MDA and everyone was disappointed. So anyway, we drove to this EDM. You know, it's probably really fun to touch when you're on Molly.

What? Grover. Oh, my God. That would be incredible. Fingering Grover when you're on Molly. If he's into it. That fur is pretty matted at this point. It's been, you know, there have been guys shoving their hands up there since the 70s.

You know, it's matted from all that Vicks Vapo rub. Yeah, famous EDM fan Grover. Was Grover the pitch man for Vicks Vapo rub? I think what Jesse was getting at, and Jesse, we've been friends a long time, so I can explain your jokes. Thank you. I think what Jesse was getting at... You're the only one who can, technically.

Yes. If you're confused by one of Jesse's jokes, write to me at jessiesjokes, P.O. Box, 3577, Altadena, California. Don't forget the quotation marks around jokes. Care of Anakin Skywalker. So I think what Jesse was getting at is when you're rolling, and you maybe would have known this if there would have been enough Molly for you, but when you're rolling...

Oh, this is a Molly joke. Okay. Yeah, I think there's some things that feel really good. And one of those things is enjoying the menthol scents and sensations that come with Vicks VapoRub. So a lot of those types, you know, Molly ecstasy enthusiasts will bring Vicks VapoRub to one of these things to enjoy the sensation when they're rolling after they've dropped. I see. So here's what happened to me. I heard Jesse's joke and I said, well, clearly the reason this is a joke is that Grover must have been the celebrity pitch man for Vicks VapoRub commercials back in the 80s. And I literally was able to picture these ads of Grover going, you know, if you've got a cold or whatever, I don't know, rub it on you.

And I was like, why would Grover be the pitch man? No, it's good, Grover. He's rubbing it on his fur. It's going to get all sticky. I went on a whole journey where I believed that was true for 30 seconds until you corrected me jordan obviously it was prairie dawn who did that i think that's another can't help you here jesse i think that's another muppet right that's a different one it's the lady yeah that's a different one that's the lady from the muppet wait okay so you're you're at an edm. You're doing stand-up comedy, which I imagine fucked-up EDM fans really want to hear.

Well, we were doing it in the chill-out tent. So, you know, people who had gotten a little too frazzled, they had done a little bit too much Molly, and they were coming down. Right. And they just needed a quiet place to be. They came and they sat so politely and listened. They were so appreciative. That's nice. But they did not laugh. They just did, like sat so politely and listened. They were so appreciative. That's nice.

But they did not laugh. They just did like little finger twinklies in the air. Sometimes they would snap, you know, they were just like, they were just like trying to recuperate. They were like drinking Gatorade, eating some bananas. Adam, is it possible that you weren't in the chill out tent? You were in the beat poetry tent? That's what was the vibe i mean they were trying to have a little bit here's the interesting thing about these festivals even though it was an edm festival and it was really for 22 year old investment bankers to like kill themselves like for a weekend just for them to to completely shut their brains off do you know the line at the beginning of the fucking hunter s thompson movie where he's like a man becomes a beast like that's that line came to my head when i was there um but but despite that

there was still this like undercurrent of hippie california music festival that just like existed there because of the heritage of music festivals in this area so there were fucking dr bronner's for sale and shit like there was there was some real nice hippie stuff going on and there was like i don't know free tibet signs and stuff like that as well pete seger walked by playing the banjo you know it was i'm exaggerating weirdly the headliner was mumia abu jamal with special guest r Nader puppet. There was all that shit. And so they had a chill out tent and it was really wholesome and nice.

And then the other rest of the festival was people on Mali like shitting in a beautiful river. There was a river and everyone was just shitting and pissing in it all the time. It was horrible. It was a horrible event. So anyway, we drove to this. Now I'm going to get to Rolling Coal. Okay, so we're driving. I was about to ask, but you're on it. all the time it was horrible it was a horrible event so anyway we drove to this now i'm gonna

get to rolling coal okay so we're driving i was i was about to ask but you're on you're on it you're on it yeah so me and the other comics i drove a prius however i did not drive on the freeway and i still don't now i don't drive at all and so the other comics were driving my car i was like you guys drive but you could drive my car that's the deal that we'll make. And we were driving through Northern California, and a guy in a big pickup truck pulls in front of our Prius and does a thing. I guess he pushes a button in his cockpit, and black smoke comes out of the back of it

and goes like, brr, and covers our car, and we all start hacking and coughing, like very wacky races. Yes, did this guy have a dog that was laughing at you yeah hey i learned about this on fox news you know i was like what was the name of the dog smarky or something that's when you shot a green shell at him dick dastardly and mutley mutley thank you yes mutley yeah they went they went q anon recently it's pretty sad they're pretty deep down the hole so your theory although i don't i don't know if this was made explicit at all but

is is your theory that you were profiled by this coal roller he's like check out the snowflakes and the prius i'm gonna give him a toot yes and to be clear correctly correctly profiled. Yes, this is explicitly like a game that guys in big trucks would do in the mid-2010s, seven years ago. They would drive in front of you in a big truck and exhaust gas or smoke all over your Prius. And they would do it to Priuses. I mean, I don't really understand why still to this day. I do not understand why the mean man targeted me for bullying, but surely I am, but a nice motorist could all get behind fuel efficiency,

right? A regenerative braking system. Why doesn't every car have such a device? I have to say, Adam, as morally abhorrent as this practice is, and certainly no one should pick on adam conover much less the other comics who are performing at the edm festival and certainly there's incredible value

in a regenerative braking system a system that fills the batteries using the frictions that's generated from braking. I have to say, it's pretty tough for me to stand against any personal vehicle having any superpower. Yeah. It's like, you know, yeah, it's pretty badass. I mean, the guy's got a little smoke screen. It's like Spy Hunter for the NES, you know what I mean? Except stinky. That's probably what he was thinking of at the time. Yeah. He was probably thinking, this is going to be like spy hunter for the nes you know what i mean except stinky that's probably what he was thinking of at the time yeah he was probably thinking this is gonna be like this is gonna be like spy hunter for the nes or the arcade game maybe he's probably a little bit older he probably played the original midway game in the local chucky cheese but yeah i mean it was

cool i guess man but that's rolling coal have you gotten gotten to try Molly since then? No, I have not. I've not done Molly. Now I know a little bit too much about it. You know, listen, if it ever happens, get yourself some Vicks VapoRub. Yeah. Get yourself a Muppet. Get a Grover. Yeah. And get a Grover and you have the fucking night of your life. Get your hand all up in there. Oh, can I recommend something to you, Adam? Yeah. Whether or not you try Molly, get yourself some Vicks VapoRub, because that menthol sensation is stimulating under any circumstances. People love Vicks VapoRub. It's a cure-all in many cultures.

It's good stuff. You feel cared for when you put some Vicks VapoRub on. Did you hear this cultural controversy? You know when sometimes on social media, like a cultural practice that is foreign to people who don't practice it will like explode. Like there was a lot of talk about whether people actually mix Coca-Cola and milk a few years ago, which I don't think is possible.

I think it would curdle the milk, but does sound great to me. But leaving that aside, Adam, did you hear about the thing where many people eat Vicks VapoRub? I've never heard of this. I believe it. Like by the spoonful, do they spread it on toast? How do they eat it? Yeah, they use it in New Zealand. In Australia, it's Marmite.

Right. And then in New Zealand, it's Vicks VapoRub. No, they use it in the same context that you would use it to, you know, clear your nose when you have a cold or cool your fever or whatever. They eat it by the, yeah, with a spoon. Honestly, I imagined it. It makes more sense for it to yeah with a spoon or honestly i imagined it it makes more sense for it to be with a spoon but i imagined it being eaten manually directly i imagined that the spoon would be one's hand where what types of people are doing this i mean innovative I mean, innovative, bold, thrilling, disruptive.

People who love sensations. I believe this. I believe this because, again, for many people have it's a bit of modern folk medicine that a lot of people use VapoRub as like a cure all for for whatever ails you. People will say this about their mothers. My mother always said, give me some. My mother didn't do this, but I've heard other people say this right and i think it's not a big leap to say some people are because they just just need a little spoonful adam this is my question to you you're you live in evidence-based lifestyle i do but is there any weird bullshit that you do

oh of any kind i mean i'm talking about things that don't work that you believe work yeah um god i know that there are some and now i'm trying to remember what they are i i'll hit you with one that i do yeah i will not deposit a check at the atm i have to go up and give it to the guy because i feel that the guy at the bank is more reliable or Or I should say person. I shouldn't gender bank employees. I have to give it to the bank person because I do not trust that machine with my check that I earned. I'm going to blow your mind.

Yeah. I mail my checks. Whoa. I haven't been to the bank in years. And that's only if I exceed the maximum deposit for the web, the app, mobile deposit. And then I take a photo of the check. Adam, to whom do you mail them?

I mail them to the bank. Not George Soros. I would have assumed George Soros. So I bank at a small credit union here in Los Angeles where there's only two branches in the whole city. And so when you mail something to them, a real life human being opens the envelope. And this is what is so great about this credit union they will sometimes if i need something i'll just put a little note in the envelope i'll say hey could you could you mail me some more deposit slips like a like a handwritten note and then they just mail me some more deposit slips to my house what other services do they provide well there's a bank jesse so they do okay so nothing sensual they take deposits they do uh you know so nothing sensual. They take deposits.

They do, you know, they have CDs. You know, the interest rates on those are going up if you're looking for a short-term place to park your cash. They do have mortgages and auto loans. It's called Actors Federal Credit Union, so they also provide some actor-specific services, such as Coogan accounts, which are a special form of account for child actors, which I happen to know about because I've read the entire website of the credit union because i'm a fucking nerd about it so if you'd like any more information about that i'm happy to share

but it might be a little bit off topic for your comedy podcasts adam who's coogan coogan i believe okay uh i'm doing this from memory i'm calling your coogan bluff i'm doing this from memory jesse okay he's like uh let's get off the topic because... No, I will rise to the challenge of just delivering information straight off the dome. I believe his name was Jimmy Coogan. He was a child actor. I'm going to say, let's say the 30s or 40s, maybe. It might be silent film.

Very famous early child actor. His parents took all of his money and spent it and he was a famous case of being like a you know he was the he was a big movie star who who was broke as an adult because his parents had taken all the money for themselves and so there is i believe a law was passed that if you are the parent of a child actor, you must deposit some portion of their, you know, the proceeds into a special Coogan account, which is a special account that, you know, allows, you know, you can open as a parent, but it's in the name of the child and probably has some other protections. I'm going to guess it's a California state law because it seems pretty specific to the entertainment industry. Not every bank offers it. And so Actors Federal Credit Union, one of the things they offer is a is coogan accounts and now jordan i can tell you're looking this all up on wikipedia how close did i get i'm cross

referencing i'm cross and do you want to do you want to know how much of that you got right yeah i do okay so i googled jimmy coogan auto corrects to james coonan james michael coonan nicknamed jimmy c is an irish american mobster and racketeer from manhattan this is who from pretty far off approximately 1977 to 1988 served as the boss of the westies gang an irish mob group based in hell's kitchen adam this is a different person money is going to mobsters you're putting your residual checks from bojack horseman into an envelope and you're mailing them off to the fucking mob oh my god let me ask you this jordan does it say whether james coonan is that his name james coonan it is does it say whether james coonan is a traditional bank or

a community credit union uh it says here that he takes all your money and puts it under a mattress. That's what Wells Fargo does. Right. Yeah. Some of it is inside a freezer of a pork store. Let me ask you this, Adam. Do you think these Coogan accounts are something we should look into for our producer, Daniel? I mean, if you control his finances yes i think so i looked it up because i cannot bear to have told a lie on a recorded podcast the kid's actual name was jackie coogan that was the name of the child actor and uh yes he was uh he was an actor in the 20s and everything else i said it was true oh look at him i'm looking at him here on google image cute little top hat

look at that look at that stinker i can't believe someone would take his money he was in a charlie chaplin film how come none of today's child stars wear top hats because they don't have they don't have respect jesse just like these schmucks who get on airplanes wearing sweatpants. My day, men wore suits on planes and children wore top hats whenever they were in the presence of Charlie Chaplin. Every single one. I swear to God, this is true. Every single one of Shirley Temple's movies,

white tie. No black tie, no tuxedos, none of that bullshit casual smoking jacket nonsense. Shirley Temple, white tie, every movie like she was going to the opera in Vienna. All of her movies were set at the opera in Vienna as well. People don't know that. Beautiful. Do you guys want to launder our top hats and then come back for a little bit more?

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Jordan, we're headed to the great city of San Francisco. I don't know if you're familiar at all with this city. I'd never heard of it until we booked this show, but we're going to be at San Francisco Sketch Fest,

and it is going to be pretty fucking cool. Yes, February 5th, the Gateway Theater, 8 p.m. It's going to be a cavalcade of celebrity guests, but the ones we can tell you about right now, Kevin MacDonald and Mary Roach. Kevin MacDonald, of course, from the Kids in the Hall and Mary Roach from All the Greatest Books. Monty Python's Flying Circus. Oh, no. Yeah. Thinking of John Cleese. Oh, yeah. Mary Roach, pretty funny walk, though. She does have a pretty silly walk.

Yeah. And look, this is not the end of our cavalcade of stars. So get your tickets now before you miss out. Yeah. SFSketchFest.com, definitely our favorite comedy festival. We love that they're back and we're excited to do the show. 8 p.m. Gateway Theater. If you're going to be in San Francisco for SketchFest, not only is there a Judge John

Hodgman show on Saturday night of that very same weekend, but it will be live streaming to the world. So go to sfsketchfest.com. If you're going to be at SketchFest that weekend, make sure to come out to both of those shows. And no matter where you live, we're going to be live streaming that Judge John Hodgman show. So get your tickets to that. And Jordan, I'm excited about this Archie comic to which you have contributed. Yes, this is, as you know, Jordan, I'm crazy about all things Archie and

all things creepy. So this is basically the only comic book you need to read this year, Jesse. It's from the Archie horror line. This is a really, really cool line of comics that I am a huge fan of that takes the Archie characters and puts them into fucked up horror scenarios. They're a blast. They do them at least once a month these days. And this March, the Archie Horror Comic is going to be Pop's Chocolate Shop of Horrors, Three Spooky Tales Set in the Famous Archie Diner. I wrote one of them, and it is being drawn by the great Liana Congus, who is a terrific comics artist that you should check out if you don't know their work already. Now, Jordan, I'm sorry to interject here.

I want to pre-order this, but I don't know how. Jesse, here's all you got to do. You got to call your local comic booker, idiot. Do you have one? Do you have a comic book concern that you like to patronize? Sure. I got we got a few. We got a few here in the Pasadena area, the greater Pasadena area.

Here's what you do. You call them up or you go in and you tell them you want to preorder using this handy code. Get your pens ready. Listeners. J.A.N. Two three one two two nine. get your pens ready listeners j-a-n-2-3-1-2-2-9 j-a-n-2-3-1-2-2-9 or just ask him for pop's chocolate shop of horrors coming out this march 22nd from archie comics yeah those pre-orders

really really help of course if you want to just pop in and grab one your comic shop will probably carry it but those pre-orders really uh really help book. So if it's something- We'll put that, hey, Daniel, put the code in the show notes. Put the code in the show notes. The code's going in the show notes. People shouldn't have to, just put the code in the show notes. Put the show notes. Daniel, just put the code in the show notes. We're also supported this week by the folks over there at Lumi Labs. You've probably heard of micro dosing. It's a smaller dose, Jordan. Well, the Lumi Lab folks have got the game on lock. That's right. If you want to try some THC, but you're worried about the dose being too intense, and that can happen with edibles, about the dose being too intense, and that can happen with edibles. Microdose gummies are where you want to go. They've got an entry-level dose of THC that helps you feel just the right amount

of good. I love nomming on these things before bed. You want to watch a little tube before you go to sleep. Take a microdose gummy, relax, get all the gunk from the day out of your brain. And the flavors are really tasty too. I really, really like the taste. Doesn't taste all gross and dirt-like like the weed brownies your friend's cousin used to make. Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code JJGO to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links are in the show description alongside Jordan's comic book pre-order code. But again, that's microdose.com slash JJGO. And Jordan, look at this. We've got something up on the Jumbotron this week. Our favorite feature that I don't think we get to do often enough. We love these Jumbotrons. Here's

where we share a message from a listener to our audience. This particular listener's name is Elisha Brookover. Elisha Brookover, and this is their call to action. Read a book that has been challenged or banned in the last year. Book bans and challenges are on the rise. Read a recently challenged book, not Fahrenheit 451, for yourself. Find a list at your local indie bookstore or at pen.org and join the fight to read freely. Well, that's nice. Just sharing a cool message about how to positively impact culture. You know, Jordan, my wife's book, It Feels Good to Be Yourself, which is a picture book about gender and gender identity, is possibly the chillest, most positive and pleasant book any human being could ever write for children.

And it's been on a number of ban lists from school libraries. So if there's a kid in your life... Well, hey, that's great. We're giving our listeners the perfect place to start this challenge. Yeah. So check out Teresa Thorne's It Feels Good to Be Yourself, the extensively banned and occasionally written up in insane ways in right wing periodicals, but actually a very sweet, pleasant and gentle book that doesn't do anything weird at all. I think this is great. If anybody else wants to get up on the Jumbotron, it's MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. It's cheap. It's affordable. You can share a message with the world or just share a message with one special person

who you know listens to Jordan Jesse Go. You, I guess, right? I mean. Yeah, you're that person. Do you think any of our listeners know other people who listen to our show? Listen, if you just need us to remind you to pick up fabric softener, if you're listening to the show on Thursday and you know you're going to target after work and you need us to remind you to pick up fabric softener, the Jumbotron is a great way to do that. I think most, honestly think most of our listeners were recommended Jordan, Jesse go

by someone who came up to him on the street, said, check out the podcast, Jordan, Jesse go by someone who came up to him on the street, said, check out the podcast, Jordan, Jesse go, and then just fucking booked it just off like a shot, right? Never to reenter their life. One person flash mobs. Okay. It's maximum fund.org slash jumbotron. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, I'm Adam Conover. Uh, the, um, the ghost of Tinseltown. Yeah. That's a great great nickname doesn't make any sense just like we like it if you listen very carefully at muso and frank's round closing time you'll hear him rattling his chains oh my parents stole my money and gave it to the Irish mob. Here's the truth about the super wealthy.

Did you know, Jordan, that Adam is best friends with President Barack Obama? I didn't know that. Adam, tell me more. Did you guys go to college together? Were you on like a kickball team? We made a TV show and we got very close. Long nights on set, just kicking around ideas. You stay up for 48 hours. You know, we came up with a prank to play on Transpo Department. We were banned from set for that, but, you know, it was worth it for the bonding. Yeah. When you say TV show, you're just talking about your college humor shorts.

You and Barack Obama worked on the college humor shorts. Yeah, the Netflix thing was not until much later. He wasn't actively involved, but he was one of the founders of college humor. Is that correct? Correct. Yeah, he was one of the founders of college humor. He came up with Jake and Amir. Remember Jake and Amir? That was his idea.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. That's why they're called Obamacare. Yes. There's like showbiz legends. Conan wrote the monorail episode of The Simpsons barack obama invented jake and amir yeah he was like you guys this is magic and just you know pointed the camera at him and let him rip start pranking boys he said i mean he knew what worked and didn't work based on his experience with break.com he founded break.com as

well yeah he's also the founder of break.com yeah that's true we should clarify what the what the bit is you did work on a netflix show with barack obama correct called the g word yes uh the g word with adam conover that's actually the official title my name is officially in the title it's not the g word with barack obama okay bar all right. Was that a fight that you had to win? That guy's always leading from the front, trying to take credit. That's him, you know. Did you get to call him Barry?

No, you know, it's a little hack, calling him Barry. I feel like that's what everybody does to be overly familiar, you know. That wasn't what I was in the mood for. No, he's, you know, he's... Do you want a real story about him or you want, you want, let's get a real story. You know what? We have someone who's met Barack Obama. Let's have a real story and not just a confusing bit about him. Yes. I mean,

Jordan, how many minutes would you say we have spent over the years on this program on the one time I tried to high five Bill Clinton, he half high five me and then put his fingers over the top of my hand. I mean, to shake my hand. Yeah, we've we've stretched that out into a prestige miniseries length of time. Yes, we can have a real story about a guy who's actually worked with the president. What's what's your Obama dote? Well, so the funny thing about he is the the interesting thing to me about Barack Obama is that he lives his life as though he is still president. For instance, you know, he was not like,

the way the show came about is that his company optioned the Michael Lewis book, The Fifth Risk, and they wanted to make a comedy show about it. And they were like, we don't know what to do. And I pitched on it, what I would do. I was like, I'll do what I would do, and they said, great, we'll buy it, and then I made the show, right? And we eventually decided it would be good for the show to have Barack Obama on the show, because then maybe more people would watch it.

That's right. And there's some stuff that I wanted to ask him about the content of the show, which is all about the federal government, and I had some burning questions that I've always wanted to ask him. I was like, great, we'll do that on television. Great. But you know, he's not particularly involved in the content of the show, but occasionally, you know, we would need to send, you know, a one sheet for an episode premise or whatever, because he needs to read it. Plus he would occasionally fax in jokes like Johnny Carson to David Letterman. Every day. And it was just when when you we'd heard the machine start going

you're like fuck here comes another one yeah some more mother-in-law stuff from obama and let me tell you something they were all about viagra oh pages of viagra oh my god the purple pill gags keep coming in i know it was like was like he was stuck in, you know, 1998, and he just couldn't get himself out of there. To be fair to Barack Obama, though, his dick is rock hard all the time. Oh, my God. You should see a doctor.

Incredibly tumescent. And that's why you'll notice you never see him standing up. You never see a full body shot of him standing up. He's always behind something he's always sitting down same thing with franklin roosevelt but what i was gonna say is whenever we had to send something to him it was we have to get it to him by 2 p.m on friday because it's going in his weekend binder like this is a guy who gets a binder every weekend to read all of it like people elsewhere in his organization put stuff in his binder for him to read that's what the president

does literally how the president works so he still lives his life that way you know they're like before you email him you have to type out all the lyrics to hail to the chief you know all the lyrics, Adam. You got to do a coffee salute every time you see him. I think the lyrics to Hail to the Chief really prove that rock and roll can be poetry. Right. Beautiful. The best example of this is we go, and by the way, here's the thing.

You don't need to live your life as though you're president. You could just be, George Bush isn't living his life this way, right? So we go to shoot with Barack Obama, one of our scenes that we shot with the show for him. And it was so scripted. He, so he has this whole floor of an anonymous office building in DC. Like, you know, I don't even remember the name of the building. It's not the president building. It's just whatever building.

And we go to the lobby and like his handlers are like, okay, so here's, here's what we're going to, here's what, how it's going to go. We're going to wait down here until four 35. And at that point, we're going to get into the elevator. When we get into the elevator, we're going to go up to the whatever floor. When we get to the floor, don't say anything. When we exit the floor, um, the crew is going to go into that room where we are previously staged. Okay. Adam, you're going to wait in this room. Five minutes later, you will go to the hallway and the president will come down the hallway. You will shake his hand and you will say hello. Then you will go onto set and you will begin shooting. You have 31 minutes to shoot. It was like, it was like that. And there was like a big emphasis placed on us not saying anything like, unless we are in the,

you know, we're actually in the room and shooting, we cannot be making noise on the floor because there's like other stuff happening. And his staff knows like what room of the floor he's going to be in at any particular moment. And so what ended up happening is we shoot, we have a great shoot. He's funny and charming. You know, he's great on set. I'm like giving him notes and shit and he's taking them. I'm like, Oh my God, this is going great. But then the shoot ends and he was going to leave, but he actually changed his mind. He's going to stay on the floor. And so now he is going back into his office or somewhere else on the floor. And there were once again being, you have to be so quiet you have to be quiet like and what is happening is one of our pas who's like unloading stuff like went down the hallway and accidentally encountered him in the hallway when he wasn't supposed to

and yelled out loud oh shit and like ran away there's a story about our pa evens who's a wonderful guy but it was like so intense you know that that like you own you'd not deviate from the script of like where he's going to be there's a story about our PA evens. There's a wonderful guy, but it was like so intense, you know, that, that like you own, you'd not deviate from the script of like where he's going to be and where you need to be at any particular moment. And I was a little bit like,

that's a choice. You know, that's a choice to live that way. You again, George Bush is just like, yeah, I'm Peyton over here. You know,

whatever. He's like, he doesn't, I'm in the tub. Sure. Like he doesn't give a shit. That's, that's my,

that's my Obama anecdote. I 100% presumed that the pa was like tiptoeing around trying to be as quiet as the aides had asked him to be and he tried to open the door to the bathroom but he opened the wrong door and it was a closet and then just like the 20 000 things fell out of it with that closet sound effect things falling out of closet sound effect. Like it's swim fins and shit. That's what you get for hiring Mr. Bean as a PA. That and a lot of lectures about cancel culture. Right, right.

Yeah, you're not far off. Yeah, it was 20,000 cassette copies of Dreams from My Father. You know, Adam, here on jordan jesse go just like you pitch shows to the president we also have a lot of our own creative ideas that we've been pitching to jimmy carter and there are new ideas for segments on this show that we've thought of ourselves it's not just people calling in with something they wanted to leave on a voicemail to us and then giving it a name like it was a segment on our show. That's what we're doing. It's stuff that we thought of and then pitched to Jimmy Carter.

Jimmy Carter bought all of it. Not true. Wow. For a million dollars. Wrong. A million dollars? A million dollars. He took it straight out of the general fund over there at Habitat for Humanity because he thought it was that good.

Not true. Wow. He said this is that good. So let's take one of these calls that we thought of the segment. Jesse and, oh, Janie had a Tompkins maybe. Close. This is Jess from Chicago calling in with an update on your regular segment. I don't get that bumper sticker?

I am on my way to work, and there is a woman in front of me who has a old-looking bumper sticker that has a beaver. It's like a tan color. A little cartoon beaver in the corner, and it says, don't honk at me. I'm having a crisis. And I don't know what to do with that or what it means. That's it. Love you guys. Love you too. I mean, beavers are just dealing with shit, you know? Yeah, maybe this is like someone who's involved in like the lumber industry or the logging industry.

And there's some sort of labor crisis happening amongst lumberjacks i don't know there's a beaver and it says don't honk at me i'm having a crisis yeah it could be talking to uh a different animal that honks like a goose yeah's true. So the goose is honking at him because it's only goddamn noise. I mean, you're really telling the goose to shut up if you ask it not to honk at you because it can't do anything else. Right, it's their one noise.

Oh, I found the bumper sticker. Okay, any other context that we maybe didn't get in the call? It's not the right bumper sticker. This is a raccoon. Okay. Not a beaver fair enough well that makes sense that this one makes sense that i guess raccoons have little hands right they got little thumbs and everything to to eat your garbage that's right their their

constant crisis is needing to needing to wash their food this fucking raccoon is in tears yeah it's crying next to flowers and by the way there's a photo of this on a winnebago or it might be a vw minibus and this is here's what i'm thinking this is a bumper sticker from the 70s and nothing made sense in the 70s yeah you know like their senses of humor were like it's like trying to follow comedy from finland or something when you try to understand comedy from this you're just like that's a joke what does that mean dave's not here man yeah you guys just repeated that to each other over and over yeah and adam i think i know what you mean and yeah this definitely has like keep on trucking you know vibes to it correct but is it possible that this is underground comics oh maybe maybe yeah maybe our crumb drew this raccoon now his ass isn't big enough

there's a there's an artist signature on the bumper sticker it says k-raz i'm gonna look up k-raz southwest retro graphic tees no there's uh yes so there's a there's a little detail here that i that i just want to point out on the etsy page here and obviously they're just trying they're you know attempting to get visibility with you know buzzwords and their search results but what it's it's described as having a crisis bumper sticker women's gift accessories gen z stickers pack set mental health printed decals can i read a review of this crisis raccoon who's in tears he's also he or she or them is also doing this that thing where you have one

hand to your forehead and you're like turning away and putting the other hand up in the air like don't don't you dare don't you dare it could be mistaken for dabbing. It's a sad dab. It's a sad dab, yes. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. That's the gesture. I'm going to be really high soon. Here's your top suggested reviews out of 5,388 reviews on this picture of a raccoon and two yellow flowers and the raccoon can't handle

shit here's your reviews this is my second time purchasing this sticker because i didn't have time to get it off my old car and i'm super happy with it for the second time that's the first one that's from ally and then helpful this one i'm gonna click helpful is from abby says so cute i've been wanting this sticker forever i finally went for it and got it it looks so cute on my car and it suits my personality well uh oh then it says not sure why the photo appears sideways i'm bad with technology see this is this is a sticker for kooks right i'm bad with technology this this lady is you know already an aunt this is this is who this is for these are people who you don't need to understand what aunt abby is saying all right she well. And we say, ha ha.

She goes, isn't this cute? This is like a, you know, this is a bumper sticker for people who post Facebook minion memes that they don't understand. Here's one, Adam, from Mallory. Okay. This is five stars.

It looks great on my car with the other number stickers. The other number stickers? I'm sorry, the other number stickers? I think she i'm sorry the other numbers i think she has a number of other stickers but doesn't want to reveal exactly how many i think thousands of people have positively reviewed this sticker that means god knows how many purchased because what what percentage of purchasers are maniac enough to leave reviews? This is one of the most popular bumper stickers in America. Here's one from Maya.

Hilarious sticker. I've had my car for 14 years, decided it's finally time to get silly. I'm never selling it. That's great. No, that's good. Get silly? I don't know if I would. That's good.

When you let go and let God, and you say, time to put the stickers on. Right. You know what I mean? Jade says, probably the cutest bumper sticker I have on my car heart. All right. Okay. Adam, what are the top five most adorable bumper stickers you have on your car? Oh, my God.

Rory says very sturdy. I love it. Very sturdy. Yeah, that's what it says. I mean, we're, listen, we we're we're razzing this thing but as adam pointed out thousands and thousands of people have reviewed this sticker this has brought so much happiness k-raz is retiring off this thing i currently went to i went to page 284 of the reviews uh-huh and they're in chronological order and that review is from january 17th 2021

not two years ago and we have 284 pages of reviews for this sticker which is flying off the shelves this is absolutely a smash hit bumper sticker we just cannot make hide nor hair of it yeah this is the new ass gas or grass nobody rides for free agraham 2016 says my therapist will not be happy i bought this for bumper sticker addiction my therapist warned me about confusing bumper stickers. Now, I want to point out that there's a section in the reviews here on this popular craft product website that we're looking at. It's called Photos from Reviews. And the top photo from reviews is, don't honk at me, I'm having a crisis bumper sticker. And then next to it, someone is just holding a gatorade bottle yeah they're showing you

the size if you're worried about the size of the sticker because we all know how big a gatorade bottle is yeah this is as big as a gatorade bottle not a bottle of gatorade you'd buy at the store no no no a reusable sports gatorade bottle that you might use if you're mixing your own gatorade at home i don't i don't know exactly why i think this, but I think these are all on Volkswagen Jettas. Yeah, I think that's about right. Volkswagen Jettas for sure. I mean, the other two, so someone has a photo of all the bumpers,

of all the bumper stickers they have on their car next to this bumper sticker. So this person also has a Hello Kitty, of course. They have Snoopy for president, of course. And the last one says, and I haven't actually read this yet. I'm reading it right now to you for the first time. Sorry I missed church. I've been practicing witchcraft

and becoming a lesbian. So if these bumper stickers appeal to you, this is the bumper sticker that you might want to add to your collection. I mean, that one's fun. That is fun. I get that. You want to cheese off your overly religious parents who made your life hell growing up now what about this one there's one

here that has three baby bears one in a little blue jumper one in a little pink jumper and one in a little white jumper and they're each holding a flower and then it says can i borrow your personality what does that mean are the bears saying it to each other no they're all they're just going for a little run and they want some of your personality i don't't follow. Melissa says, I've been seeing a car with this stick for a few weeks. And I was like, I have to have it. I mean, that does read. Have to have it. She needs to borrow that personality.

Guys, we have something very exciting in the hopper. More exciting than a confusing bear bumper sticker. Adam, for you, we've been doing a feature on this show that has become, I think, alternately beloved and annoying. It is people putting lyrics to the Looney Tunes song that plays when they're in a factory. Now, you know Hail to the Chief, so I'm sure this is one you know too. This song is called Powerhouse. It is called Powerhouse. Yes, exactly. And our fans have been putting lyrics to it. And at some point, for some reason, let's say comedy, we said that they needed to make it about the cast of SCTV. Has that made

the segment more fun? Who knows? Yeah, hard to say. But Daniel says we've got a real we've got a real corker in the hopper so i think what we're gonna do is we're gonna say this is this is the end for now to the powerhouse segment if you have sent in a powerhouse and we have not played it on the air what we're gonna do is we're gonna attack them on to the end of the episode so everyone can enjoy all the hard work that our amazing fans have put in to these wonderful and confusing songs so yeah daniel let's hear the uh let's hear the final powerhouse song i like the production values here. It's got a stop quality to it.

Long time back, the second city helped end up a branch in Toronto. The CBC gave them a TV show. Canadian content. A gook of how Canadian broadcasts work as opposed to those in the U.S. The Canadian show was three minutes longer. Canadian content.

The CBC itself has a mandate of half of its programs or more must come from the nation of Canada. Canadian content. The CBC is strict Moranis. If those three minutes could appeal to a Canadian specific audience. Canadian content.

So he and Dave Thomas came up with a pair of schmoes from rural Ontario trying to scam themselves some free beer. But Andy McKenzie, it's Canadian content. Canadian content. It's Canadian content Canadian content I think this guy might have read like an entire book about SCTV to write this song. Yeah, there's probably an oral history out there that maybe we haven't read and this guy's just condensing it into one song.

There's got to be an actual book about this. Can I ask you guys a question? Is it possible that was Paul Schaefer? That'd be great if Paul Schaefer listened to the show geez we should have him on this wigged me out a little bit because i'm currently listening to the audiobook of bob odenkirk's memoir which is which is full a wonderful book first person of his generation of alt comedians to write a memoir that i know of and so he's writing all about snl and, you know, Uncabaret and Janine Garofalo and stuff like that sort of comedy nerdery and loving SCTV. And I'm like, do I need to write a song about what I just read about the creation of the Ben Stiller show?

Yeah, I think you're going to. Is this my fate to do this as well? You know what they say? You know, they say that the velvet underground is the band that launched a thousand bands uh they also say that about naomi odin kirk's book mr show what happened that's a great book the book that launched a thousand bands yeah andy dick he showed a lot of promise that's mine he seems troubled he's certainly done bad things yeah this book by the odin kirk's book is full of like this guy was the funniest guy i had ever met but i already saw signs of things but even at the time oh boy the jay johnston story say there's yeah probably some people in the mr stuff few

different people in the mr show orbit Show orbit you could write that about. Oh, and some that the public doesn't even know about yet. Yeah, that's right. We're talking about SpongeBob SquarePants. This guy's a fucking disaster. Yeah, the expose. Drag him. This guy just forced his way into a home in Altadena.

A pineapple under the sea. He forced his way in. Look, can I bring it back to the Hayden Christensen house really quickly? Yes, I insist that you do. Okay. Because I was looking at this page while we were talking. I just had it open for a long time. You guys have the page, right? Yeah, it's a great page. There's something revolting in one of these photos. Okay. And it's not eating off of a surface that you're also playing ping pong on. This is what I'm talking about. Thank you.

This is what I'm talking about. There's a table that looks like a dining room table. And next to it, they have ping pong paddles hung up and a net in the middle of the table. And I'm like, you're trying to tell me that this is a hybrid dinner table and ping pong table? Revolting. Yeah, no. I mean, I think science has told us that there's nothing dirtier than a ping pong ball. Yeah.

I mean, all these things do is go up your ass and you're going to eat on the same surface where ping pong balls are bouncing around, spreading their fecal matter. And look, I know this is staging. I know the realtor put this there, right? But this idea is so incomprehensible that anybody would do this. If I walked into a house and I could afford it and I loved everything about the house and I saw it staged this way, I'd be like, I'm not buying this fucking house because the idea that they would think that I do this means there's something else wrong in this place. I have to ask you this. There are three distinctive elements in this entire house.

Number one, the hot tub is rolling coal. Number two, the dining room table is a ping pong table. Number three, despite the fact that the entire house is a sort of vague, you know mountain cabin modernism there is also a star wars atat in it is it possible hear me out here where's this at i guess i'm not maybe not seeing this atat jesse i'm not seeing it's in the office look at the picture of the office and tell me that there's not yeah there's an atat right there and then there's a sign next to that that says open selling wood two dollars was this stage specifically for hayden christiansen like he's doing a tour and they're like we got to put an at in there to appeal to hayden and a ping pong thing because that guy loves ping pong and then they were like this

hot tub doesn't roll coal and you know that hayden loves to roll coal i'm sure people would correct me but i don't think there's any any atats in the prequels so they got it fucking wrong what they need is some gungan catapults in there to attract people from the prequels the atats are what inspired hayden christianson to get involved in the prequels. So initially, they kept asking him over and over and over, you're the only guy that can do this. And he was like, I don't know. I'm just not into it. And then he saw that they had spaceships that were like tall dogs walking around.

And he said, well, if they can make spaceships out of tall dogs i'm in i'll pod race until the sun comes out as the famous expression goes i cannot wait for the disney plus series about the guy who made the atat oh my gosh is it wouldn't it be uh what's his name isn't he dead it's got to be what probably probably right who died this year i bet he designed oh i guess i was what i was joking about about how there's kind of a prequel series about every character but i didn't know the actual guy who designed it i that's what i was going he might not have designed he designed like almost everything jesse would you please explain my jokes to adam well when he said the guy who died i said nosferatu so that's all i had to bring to the

table i don't even know if he's dead i have a horrible uh habit as a comedian of responding to jokes by correcting them and i apologize for that and that's on me to be fair correcting things has been very kind to your career it's's been pretty good, but it's not. Let's Jesse. Can we be honest? Yeah, I'm not an A-lister. We know this. Okay.

Something's been holding me back. I didn't say you were an A-lister. You're not Hayden Christensen. I do. Okay. I make a living. Right. And that's all I've ever wanted.

That's all I ever wanted as a kid. And you know what? Now here I'm as an adult. It's not enough. I want to be at That's all I ever wanted as a kid. And you know what? Now here I am as an adult, it's not enough. I want to be at the top. You also want to try anal. Hey, listen, I've heard from the folks down at the credit union that you're sending some pretty fat envelopes. Yeah.

I've heard about these fucking fat envelopes. These Conover envelopes are thick, dummy thick, they say. Stupid fucking thick. These things are like a fucking ll cool j rope chain that's how fucking thick they are fucking thick so fucking thick hey thank you to all our listeners for writing such beautiful powerhouse songs stay tuned for the end of the episode for all of the unused songs and enjoy for some reason want to hear more of these well god bless you here you go at the end of this we'll let you otherwise uh there's a reason that your car stereo telephone or mp3 player has a skip forward button you can skip straight to factually

with adam conover you won't have to listen to the songs. Now that's a plug. I know. And you know, on my show, Factually, we never do powerhouse. We never ask people to do remixes of a powerhouse. We do ask people to do clever remixes of the theme to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,

which is a different song. Of course, we have people do lyrics about the famous Canadian show Kenny vs. Spenny. Right. Totally different. It's a totally different bit. Totally different.

Totally different bit. Totally different bit. I'm going to go ahead and ask everybody to send in their own version of That's All, folks, that's about the littlest hobo, the wandering dog Program from Canada.

It's about a cute dog that wanders around. Sort of like Kung Fu, but with a little scruffy dog. Okay, let's see. Let's all Google the scruffy dog. Come back. Wrap it up with Conover. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. over. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica.

Jay Keith, do you know what I love more than the trivia, comedy, and celebrity guests on our podcast, Go Fact Yourself? No, what, Helen? Sharing all of those things with an actual audience. Yes. Well, lucky for you, Go Fact Yourself is back to being a live audience show. Yeah, we've got a free recording coming up on January 15th in Los Angeles and February 11th in Pasadena. And if you can't make it there, all of our recordings will still be available as a podcast. Twice a month, every month, on MaximumFun.org. Yeah, no excuses. So if you're not listening... You can Go Fact Yourself! So if you're not listening, you can go fact yourself. Hey there, it's Annabelle Gurwitch.

And I'm Laura House. We host Tiny Victories, the 15-minute podcast that's about the little things. Getting into the tiny victory frame of mind is about recognizing minor accomplishments and fleeting joys. Isn't it a wonderful day when the first password you try actually works? When it's freezing cold outside and toasty as I'll get out in my shower, my tiny victory is that I turn off the water and get on with my day. We can't change this big dumb world, but we can celebrate the tiny wins. So join us on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's get tiny! It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Adam Conover, ghost of Tinseltown. Spooking everybody out over there. Ooh. Ooh-ing and boo-ing down there at the Grauman's Chinese. Just hanging out at Musso and Frank's, you know? Yeah.

Spooking all those 90 year old bartenders this guy they say that when you eat a barbecue chicken pizza at spago you can hear the rattling of the chains right yes clang clang that's the sound of the chains clang clang clang went to change as the famous musical goes beautiful adam you've got a podcast it's called factually we're listening we're laughing but we're also learning i'm talking about your show not this show you do have some really really great experts on we do talk about a couple of the fucking cool brain bombs you've got on this show my god we just had uh so so in recent weeks we had a wonderful woman named jesse i bet you'd love this one we had a woman named susan rogers who's

a neuroscientist who studies how music works in the brain she was also a record producer and sound engineer for prince this woman both worked she engineered prince's greatest albums and then went on to study how music works in the brain. It was a beautiful conversation about what music means to us personally and to our species. And it was so very cool. That was amazing.

Just talked to a dude named Joseph Osmunson, who's a virologist and talked about, you know, how the history of the virus interacts with queer history and stuff like that. It was very cool. We have some of the biggest nonfiction authors around. We just had Yuval Noah Harari on. We had Susan Orlean on a while ago.

I know you've had Susan Orlean on this very show. Love her. Incredible. I've had Elizabeth Colbert. Just it's a murderer's row on facts and information and laughter. Every week on Factually, we're starting to do YouTube episodes now that we post on YouTube. Having a great time. So please come and hang out. You'll learn and you'll laugh. week on factually we're starting to do youtube episodes now that we post on youtube having a great time so please come and hang out you'll learn and you'll laugh and i'll ask all the

questions that you only wish you were smart enough to ask but it's me asking them and that's why they pay me the uh 40 of the ad sales revenue that we get adam we should we should explain here that YouTube is sort of like a second tier break.com. Yeah. Yeah. You can go there and you can see, you know, they have like some content, a little bit less than break.com. Did you know that E-bombs world was originally O-bombs world? it was all worth it for that you call him obam right well he doesn't want to call him barry attack

well adam it's been a joy to have you it's always nice to see you dude loves nut shots obama loves nut shots it's always nice to see you. Dude loves nut shots. Obama loves nut shots. It's always nice to see you, friend. Thank you for joining us on the program. Adam Conover's smash hit podcast is called Factually. You should also watch The G Word on Netflix, which is delightful and informative. It's about government and why it matters and how it works and is a very thoughtful treatment of something that rarely gets a thoughtful treatment. It's either invisible in our lives or reviled for its symbolism, rather than celebrated as a group of human beings who are trying to help their

fellow human beings and who represent us and are paid by us. So it's a great show, very funny, very fascinating. And it's got a lot of great abattoir content. It's one of the best of the abattoir shows. Thank you so much, Jesse. And yes, we do have some really great abattoir scenes. Yeah. Our producer on Jordan, Jesse Goh is Daniel Zafran, producer Emeritus, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. We salute them and thank them. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. On Twitter, at JordanJesseGo, at Jordan underscore Morris, and at Jesse Thorne.

We're on Instagram at JordanDavidMorris and put.this.on. at jordandavidmorris and put.this.on and on Facebook at facebook.com slash jordangessiego. I think that's all the things we need to say about this program. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you Everyone watch SCTV Everyone watch SCTV Everyone watch SCTV You don't have any excuse It's all up on the YouTube Just go and Google that shit, and then you can watch it. Dave Thomas, Rick Moranis, Wartukes A, Yehozer, Count Floyd, creepy and scary, Joe Flaherty was him. Every Father's Day and Christmas, I find myself feeling remiss That I don't have any male kids I gotta get a son

Football, karate, and Cub Scouts I see them and I feel left out Prompts me to my unfatherly shout I gotta get a son Pacing round my home Praying for Y chromosomes A grown man with comic book toys but they don't bring me any joy, for I can't share them with a small boy until I get a son. Walton Goggins has a vodka, Walton Goggins has a vodka, Walton Goggins has a vodka, SCTV. Hey, it is Dan from Richmond, Virginia with yet another powerhouse song, if you're still taking those.

Ahem. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, He's so good at everything, but he has one fatal flaw, and he don't have a vodka. Martin Short, Catherine O'Hara. Oh, shit. I'll start over. Sorry. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bum, bum, bum. Rick Moran, this is funny. He's so good at everything, but he has one fatal flaw. He don't have a vodka. Martin Short, Catherine O'Hara, John Candy, and Dave Thomas.

Robin Duke and Eugene Levy. None of them have vodkas. There's just one second city. Alam, who's Canadian? With the vodka, that's Dan Aykroyd. Crystal Skull Vodka, just like Walton Goggins. All right, hopefully you can edit that first part out. Thanks, everybody. Bye. Love you.

Dave Thomas from SCTV is the best Dave Thomas ever. All other Dave Thomas's eat shit. Ma'am, this is a Wendy's. Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis love donuts and maple syrup. Their Frosties were ice cold Molson's. Ma'am, this is a Wendy's. Dave Thomas finger banged me in a phone booth on the streets of Toronto John Candy watched and flirty jerked it Then we went to Sizzler's for a baked potato Leopard looks best on Andrea Martin Better than on the leopards themselves Martin shorts, Callan exceeds his dick size Catch Levy's work before the kid fucked the pie

Catherine O'Hara Wait, why are you calling the cops? I'm sorry, I'll order something, I swear. Can I get a Baconator combo, please?