Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Stabbed for the ‘Gram, with Carolina Hidalgo

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

On this week’s episode, we welcome comedian and podcaster, Carolina Hildago (No Dogs In Space), to chat about fan weddings, not driving in Los Angeles, the adorable Axolotl, and more!Be sure to get our new 'Ack Tuah' shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an 'Ack Tuah' mug!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Go see Free With Ads and Judge John Hodgman LIVE at SF Sketchfest!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where! Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, first of all, welcome back to me. Yes, welcome back to you, Jesse.

I was out on tour with- I'm sorry I didn't say welcome back. I should have said welcome back to you, Jesse. I was out on tour with- I'm sorry, I didn't say welcome back. I should have said welcome back. It's fine. You know I'm no Cotter. Right? I don't know. Was that what you think?

Yeah, welcome back, Cotter. It was a popular sitcom in the 70s that experienced a kind of ironic revival in the 90s. Yeah, I think it sucked, right? I remember kind of enjoying its ironic revival in the 90s. Yeah, I think it sucked, right? I remember kind of enjoying its ironic revival in the 90s. I was kind of into that sort of thing, though. Sweat Hogs, Horse Shack. Yeah. There was a good Mace song.

When Mace went left and became a minister and then returned, there was a Mace song that sampled the theme from Welcome Back, Cotter that was a very fun song. That's cool. It's just a little Mace info. Welcome Back, Cotter that was a very fun song. That's cool. There you go. It's just some little mace info. Welcome Back, Cotter, American classic. I was on tour with Judge John Hodgman.

We had a really great time. Oh, hey, Jesse. Welcome back. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much. I love to say it. I really felt like I was in Hodgman's territory because we were in New England. We did like Western Massachusetts, Boston,

or actually Cambridge specifically. And you shared a bed, right? You shared a bed on this tour? We shared a bed. Well, I slept in his bed technically. So we did share a bed, but again, I was in his territory. So we would get him a bed and then I would crawl into it. That's fun.

You know, like baby does. Yeah, Woody has a bad dweeb. But I did have a... I went to a lot of thrift stores. That's like what I like to do. If I have extra time... Great new town activity. Great new town activity. Like it's hard to do an actual activity when you are touring because if you don't have a bus, I think people who have a bus sleep overnight in the bus and then they have the whole day in the place. Well, usually you are driving or flying to the place where you're doing the show that

night. So you like- That's why Bono and the Edge always have time for an activity. Exactly. They got the bus. Yeah. They're famous for having activity time. But I will like, I will go to whatever... Want to check out the Natural History Museum, mates? I did. My Bono is a lot like my Ringo.

I went to a great art museum in Portland, Maine. I really liked the art museum in Portland, Maine. Not surprised. I bet they have a beautiful museum. I go to a lot of thrift stores and I'll buy stuff for the put this on shop or for myself or whatever and I was in this thrift store in Vermont and there were these two people I presume a couple both very hairy man and woman woman wearing very short skirt it's just a real it was a real situation. Okay. These two. Yeah.

And do you know these- Were you like visible? When you say very hairy, talking about visible body hair? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On everybody. Everybody. Great. All the way up to the top of that short skirt.

Sure. It was really intense. Mm-hmm. Look, everybody do what you want to do. This is not about me judging it. I'm just saying it was a lot of look sure and They were staring at do you know these kind of like?

signs That you could buy have made for you at a fair or on a pier or something Where someone with an airbrush writes your name, but all the letters are animals. Yeah. Oh, yeah Oh sure. Yeah, and they raise like a little animals. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. And they raise like a little banner. Yeah. My sister had that growing up. I think we got that at the Orange County Fair.

Fun, fair thing for a kid. So there was one of these signs on the shelf at the thrift store that said, Danielle. And the two people are looking at it just with the most quizzical looks on their face. And I'm not going gonna say that these people had done a lot of drugs in their life. But neither will I say they hadn't.

Right. I'm not gonna say- In their lives that morning? Yeah. I'm not gonna say that they looked like they may have made some poor choices over time, but perhaps they had. They're staring at this, I mean, you know what it's like in Burlington, Vermont, the tough streets of Burlington.

So they're staring at this big sign just with absolute look of uncomprehension on their face. And- How can animals be letters? Exactly. And I was just sort of like passing by them. Can anything be a letter? And one of them goes to the other one.

Am I a letter? What do you think that says? And the other one says, oh. And I happened to be passing at that moment. I said, oh, I think it says Danielle. And the guy says, yeah. And I happened to be passing at that moment. I said, Oh, I think it says Danielle. And the guy says, Yeah, Daniel D, he's pointing at the letter D, A, N, I, E, L. And they just left.

Is his partner still in the store? They just walked, He just walked away. She followed. Wow. He just decided to just, he got to the first L. Right. I've spelled the word I thought it was. No need to keep spelling.

No need to figure out what this giraffe represents. The end. Okay. Anyway, that's just some Vermont shit. Did you get did you get anything at the thrift store? Yeah, I got all kind of shit at the thrift store. I think I think they were you know, there's a lot of LL bean shirts Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. You got a little bean shirts. I'll tell you some cheese company brought us a bunch of fucking cheese Oh, yeah, like like you got backstage. Yeah, that's what happens backstage in Vermont apparently. This is the lady brings you a bunch of cheese.

Oh my god. It was incredible cheese too. Was it? The only problem is... Is Vermont known for its cheese? Oh, that's cheese country. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. Vermont and Wisconsin...

I've never been to Vermont. I would love to go. I've heard it's beautiful. Never even to like Luis Guzman's house? No, Luis Guzman and I, we meet in the middle when we want to hang out. Do you think Ben and Jerry and Luis Guzman ever hang out in Vermont? No, they gotta. Right? They know. Who else are they?

What are you doing? It's Bernie Sanders, Ben and Jerry and Luis Guzman are all of the Vermonters anyone has ever heard of, right? Yeah. They all gotta play pickleball or something together, right? They definitely play pickleball together. That would be great. Anyway.

Yeah, when Luis Guzman and I, we meet in the middle. So we like, you know, Nebraska. The problem is... We just both fly to Nebraska. The problem with cheese is... Is there's never enough of it. Thank you. Don't talk to me until I've had my cheese.

Once? Give me the cheese and no yeah, it's hurt. Okay. Yeah the thing about a bitch in 60 seconds without cheese Yeah, if I with cheese sometimes even with cheese, it's the wrong names. Yeah, if you give me the wrong cheese I turn into such a bitch Give me the wrong cheese. It's zero to toot in 60 seconds. Yeah, that's I think that's as good as this bit we'll get. So let's stop doing that and you can tell the rest of the story. Well, it's just the cheese. As much as you would love to receive cheese as a gift, especially premium cheese, which this was premium cheese.

Oh yeah. The problem is what do you do with the cheese? Are you going to bring it into the rented minivan? Are you all just- Well, they're refrigerated, right? Rented minivans. Are you all just... Well, they're refrigerated, right? Ritz and Minivans? You're just going to eat it like a Pac-Man or something? You know what I mean? Just like... Right.

You hurdle it at the audience, right? You just kind of eat it Cookie Monster style. Yeah. Where, you know, nothing can go down his gullet. Sure. You just get some in the jaws and let it fall where it may. Exactly. Should we introduce our guest? I would love to.

Our guest on the program is one of the hosts of the smash, smash hit podcast, No Dogs in Space. I was just listening to an episode about Cannes, Crout Rock episode. Okay. I was learning a lot about spontaneous composition. What's it called? Is that what it's called? Yes.

Something like, like basically improv with music. Yeah. Carlina Hidalgo. Hello. Hi. I did think about you guys cutting the cheese. Yeah. I think that was the missed opportunity there.

Maybe we should cut the whole cheese truck. Speaking of. Didn't really go anywhere. Steven, cut the cheese. It's out. Oh no, I mean fart into the microphone. I like it. Oh, no, I mean farted to the microphone. I like it. I like it. I'm nasty Jordans a nasty boy. I like to hear your up close farts called Jordan Rob Dibble because he's a nasty boy. I'm Norm Charlton. I'm also a nasty boy. You can be Randy Myers. These are relief pictures for the Cincinnati Reds. Did they call themselves

the nasty boys? They did, yeah. Cool. Great name, great name. Very cool. I wanted to ask, Carolyn, do you get something from your listeners? Jesse gets cheese. I did a live show once

with the Dear Departed Weed and Grub podcast, RIP to that podcast. The host is still alive, but the podcast is not around anymore, a great show. And I did their live show and just backstage, just inundated with all the finest weed and shrooms. And I'm like, oh my God, the only thing I've ever gotten from our listeners is a steampunk fidget spinner.

And I was glad to have it, by the way. Look, more than one listener has made me out of Legos. That's what you get from the Judge John Hodgman on this. Yeah, we're not saying any of these are bad, but we're just saying, you know, some fandoms have their advantage. Do you get stuff from the fans? Shrooms is a pretty common occurrence.

Really? Yeah, depending on where we are sometimes. But things getting sent to us, a lot of times it's tapes. Listen to this tape. Or sometimes it's not even their band it's tapes. You know, listen to this tape. Or sometimes it's not even their band. It might be like, just listen to this tape and can you mail it back, because it's mine. And I'm like, why are you giving me all this responsibility?

Listen to this tape, ah, you're gonna die in four days. We should explain, by the way, that you're in a federal penitentiary, so you can only listen to music on transparent cassette tapes, and you do have to mail it back afterwards. I do, at my own cost. Got it. I know. And I've also gotten, we got a wedding invitation, actually.

Really? Oh, to like attend a fan wedding? Yeah. Yeah, they're like- Did you take them up on it? No, but we did send them like a wedding card saying, you know, giving them some advice and hoping the best for their whatever future. I mean, I'm sure they're very happy, but that was the coolest thing ever. It was they actually invited us to come... It would be funny to have a podcast table at your wedding. It was like, these are my favorite podcasters right here. Oh, look,

that's everyone from Max Fun. Here's Last Podcast. Here's No Dogs. Holy shit. That would be fun. Sure. Just having to make chit chat with Will Arnett. Yeah. What do we have to talk about? We're just at the podcast table. Well, that's how it goes sometimes. Yeah. I got multiple questions. When you get the shrooms, do you do the shrooms? When I got them, I did try a little bit, but I didn't go further. And I think I gave it to someone who was very happy

to have it, someone who was part of the tour who definitely looked like that they were very happy to have it. Okay. So you just looked around to see, oh, I see. They looked like they were happy. You didn't just pick someone based on looks of the people who you were on tour with.

No, I mean, there was just someone who, you could tell. You know, I have two dogs, so I know when someone's looking at me when I have something they want. So I like, from the corner of my eye, I'm like, do you want this? Like, you know, everyone kind of took a little piece. Who wants a shroom? Who wants a shroom? But it was like a whole bag full, like what are we going to do with that?

You know? That's only now. Yeah, so yeah, just took a little piece, was in a good good mood. I fell asleep at 3 a.m. Fun time. I've been invited to a few weddings. Yeah. It would be weird to show up at one, right? Have you thought of it? I officiated that listeners wedding in St. Louis.

Oh, no way. And I really like weddings. I really like them just listener's wedding in St. Louis. Oh, no way. And I had the, I really like weddings. Like I really liked them just as like fun things to do. I had a blast. It was fun to like be part of the family for the weekend. Like I just went and like hung out with their drunk high school buddies. And they just kind of like absorbed me

into all the family stuff that comes with having a wedding. It was really, really fun. I really liked it. I could see that. I could see you would fit in nicely in that kind of, I don't even know you, but I see it. That's nice of you to say.

I will chit chat with anybody at a table. I will talk to an uncle. I'll talk to Will Arnett. You could sit on my broadcasters table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just, as someone who just like thinks a wedding is the most fun thing to do, I was having a blast. But is that so?

Like, okay, because I also, I've also officiated a listener's wedding. It was a long time ago and it was a really nice time. I think probably like you, I did a great job. Well, I don't know. There was not a draw, they've got some laughs, a lot of joyful tears. Officiating a wedding, really

pretty easy gig. Everybody's there to have a good time. You know what I mean? And nobody's like, fuck this. Nobody's like, this fucking shit. Well, I mean, once in a while someone speaks now. Generally, they forever hold their peace. But I'm thinking about less like that. So like that is, that was in a lot of ways pretty straightforward. For one thing, back then, I didn't have children. My wife came with me.

So we got, it was in Seattle. So we got to go to Seattle for a little weekend in Seattle. Beautiful, beautiful town. Very nice. So go to rehearsal dinner, have a nice meal with some nice people. You know, go to the wedding. Rehearsal dinners go to a rehearsal dinner, have a nice meal with some nice people, go to the wedding. Rehearsal dinners.

Love a rehearsal dinner. Really? Sure. Yeah. Love someone standing up to give a speech who's not good at it and drunk. That's awesome. I love eating in a secret room in a restaurant.

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, you're right. That's a great adventure. Take me around back. Let's go into the banquet area. Mm-hmm. Oh, sure. Yeah, you're right. That's a great advantage. Take me around back. Let's go into the banquet area. Oh, okay. Yeah. Now I can see that. I do feel like, because we do occasionally get an invitation just to attend a wedding

in Iowa. Sure. And to simply be a guest at someone else's wedding, not be central. You're right. That's a key difference. I bet just being a guest and showing up with everyone and not having a job, that would feel differently. You're right.

That's the piece that I'm concerned about. And I also feel like it would be like, you know, when you, I have read both about Bill Murray and about NFL Hall of Famer Jerry Rice, that they have like showed up at people's weddings? Yeah, that's a, that's a, I've definitely heard the Bill Murray stories, like he'll just like be stumbling around somewhere and- Because of his obvious serious drinking problem. Sure. But is he like already invited to this or is this like a crashing a wedding situation?

No, he's like crashing it, but. And he'll take pictures of everybody and blow their minds and stuff. And the same thing happened with Jerry Rice. Like apparently Jerry Rice likes to do this. And Jerry Rice is a, you know, he's a, he was a, I think he was very successful on Dancing with the Stars at some point.

Like a very loves to dance. He was a, I think he was very successful on Dancing with the Stars at some point, like a very loves to dance. And when I read about this, I was very much of two minds because one of my minds was, as with Bill Murray, I'm like, hey, I'm a 49ers fan. I love Jerry Rice. Jerry Rice seems like a nice enough guy. I've never heard a bad thing about him. It would be pretty cool if Jerry Rice showed up at my wedding, then I meet Jerry Rice. On the

other hand, it's my wedding, not fucking Jerry Rice's wedding. I think that's all anybody's talking about. No, everybody wants to talk about as the greatest wide receiver of all time. You know what? I invited Steve Largent. You're pointing it. Yeah, pointing where Steve Largent's at. Yeah, yeah. Jesse does amazing space work on this podcast.

I know it's audio only, but do you like a wedding? Do you like just in general, not as a podcast guest, but just as someone who goes to a wedding? Well, that's what I was thinking about when you were talking about Bill Murray, like going to a wedding that he might've been invited to, or I think Queen Elizabeth did that once, right? That's one of the lores. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, that would be difficult because every time I go to a wedding, it's always like, this is the worst weekend for me to go out of town. You know, it's always a situation. I'm like, if I didn't love this person so much, I wouldn't be doing this or whatever. And then it's like, not an argument, but it's just a struggle

to get there. And then finally, when you get to the wedding, yeah, it's like a wonderful time and it's beautiful and it's great and you're crying and all. Like basically this just happened to me last September, you know, for my brother's wedding. It was the same thing. It was like, this is the worst weekend. But also your pipes broke as you were leaving for the airport. Yeah, exactly. I was like, I have no time for this. There's so much to take care of. And then when you're there, it's like just everything stops and it doesn't matter and you don't have to do anything and you're just in there. You're in place sheltering, having fun, and if you want to drink you drink or eat or do anything you want. You can even like lay on the

ground and no one's going to care. So I love it when I get there but I always struggle all the way through. So I don't know how these people would get an invitation and want to like block off a whole weekend and then fly to Indiana and then finally find a layover, back over or anything like that. So that's where I stand. I'm happy when I'm there. Usually at a wedding, I will pull my shirt out and-

Again, beautiful space work, Jesse. Thank you. I'll be wearing a little clip-on necktie. I'll do the worm on the dance floor and I'll go fall asleep under my mom's chair. You see? And no one will think anything other than that's a wedding. And then a grandpa lets you dance on his feet. You stand on his feet and you dance.

Pretty much, pretty much. I mean, Jordan, I feel like there was a time in our lives when you were going to five, seven, 10 weddings a year. Yeah, I- I feel like there are years where you went to more weddings than I've been to in my life. Sure, I think I just like, I, you know, there's those couple years

where all your friends get married, right? Yeah. It just happens, happens to everybody around, you know, like 32 or something like that. Yeah. And yeah, and I just say yes to all of them. I just like them so much. Yeah, I just like, I love, yeah, I just like it.

And you're like, have you done every job, like groomsmen? I mean, you officiated. Yeah. I, you know. Have you officiated. Yeah, you know. Given someone away? Oh, you know what? I gave my sister away. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, you see? That's great. You are Mr. Wedding. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, right. Now, early 40s, not a lot of friends getting married. But hey, if anybody out there wants

Jesse Wright to officiate your second marriage? Let us know. You guys... Let us know. Jordan will do it. I'm talking to you long time listeners. You got to be getting divorced at this point, right? You've been listening to this show long enough. How come Dan McCoy didn't have us officiate a second wedding? Should have. Come on, Dan. Get your act together. Yeah, I think, I mean, I think, number one, we're gonna be sending you in my stead.

Okay, you're not gonna... If you're getting married in Los Angeles, I'll officiate your wedding. Okay. That's a genuine offer. Can we zoom, can I hold up an iPad and you'll zoom in and say some words? Yeah, sure.

Or I'll play a prerecorded message. Yeah, I'd be glad to prerecord a message. I'll just do a safety announcement if you want. You should just do four messages and then that's it. And then you just put them in whenever you go to any wedding. Just have some all-purpose messages from Jesse we can play. You can start now. Congratulations, Frank and Sally.

This only works if Frank and Sally are getting married. Why did I change my voice like that? I don't know. Jordan, I have a question about giving away your sister. Sure, yeah. How was the dowry on that? I got so many sheeps. So many heads of sheeps.

I'm lousy with sheep. Jordan organized my bachelor party. Oh, really? When I was married, my best man was my younger brother, but my younger brother was 17 or something, or 19 or something at the time. He was much younger than I. And Jordan was nice enough to organize my bachelor party.

He did a great job. We had a softball game, and then we did activities. Sure. So many activities. What did you guys do? Well, I know you're not supposed to talk about it, but we colored. I brought so many coloring books.

We did that thing where you get wax paper and crayons and then you melt the crayons in the wax paper and you make an art project. Oh, wow. Have you ever had to do wedding jobs? What's the lady groomsman called? Bridesmaids? The bridesmaid?

No, no, actually I haven't had to do much of that. I was a maid of honor one time, but I think I've been pretty good at keeping just a couple very, very close friends and everyone else is just acquaintances. So I don't have to be in their wedding or something. Because I was made of honor to my best friend. And that's as far as it goes. Did you have to do the bachelorette party?

I don't know. Did you guys call her? I didn't have to do anything. Did you get some dick pasta? I was lucky because I was from out of town. So she had her sisters kind of help out. And then when I came into town, then I took care from then on. But it was basically holding a little pint of rum for her. She was young.

And also holding her phone for the next 42 hours so she wouldn't have to worry about it. And I would just take care of everybody. Run interference, basically. Yeah, that's all you have to do. And just give her a moment when she needed to. And that's really easy. I could do that anyway.

I don't even have to be your maid of honor. But usually at a wedding, I eat and that's it. I don't really like having a job. You like eating. It is fun. Like you say you have a really good time with it. For me, it is fun to just not do anything. What are you, like a beef medallion?

Yeah, well, I always go with the beef. Yeah, you're right. Sun-dried tomato chicken breast ain't too bad though. But I never get this right. It might be a little dry. It might be a little dry. Or if they do the thing where they have a nice buffet where you just get up and you get what you want.

Yeah. That kind of stuff is fancy. I love the fancy stuff. Since you're good at holding phones, would you like hold mine for a couple days? I'm trying to be more present. Yeah. Trying to be more present.

Trying to be more present. Body. A lot of young people these days, noses are like stuck to their freaking phones because of social media, apps, websites. Jeff Bezos, can I have another little dopamine hit, please? Yeah, thank you. Are you guys on the social media stuff?

Yeah, grudgingly, you probably feel this. It's a weird feeling as a creator who creates at our level. And I think that's what I consider myself to be. A semi-professional. Yeah, semi-professional. I do a little Instacart on the weekends just to make sure the cats still has food. But yeah, feeling like social media fucking sucks, but also feeling like it is part of your job. Yeah, it is such a bummer to think that like, making the thing that you like to make

can only be your job if you also do a bunch of it for someone else for free. Yeah, sure. Oh my god, yes, that is comedy. You're absolutely right. Like, I'm like, I don't want Mark Zuckerberg to get the money from me doing something funny. Sure. I don't need Timmy Blue Sky profiting off my beautiful comedy. I don't know. Timmy B is pretty cool. Yeah. He's a pretty fucking cool guy.

Yeah. I was the best man at his wedding. Oh, we colored. You better believe Timmy B can color. How about you? What sorts of social media do you use and how do you feel about it now? In these times, you know these. Yes, exactly. No, I just do Instagram right now. I've got rid of everything else.

But I'm thinking about doing, and I just talked about this today with my husband. I'm thinking about doing what the kids call a Finsta. Oh. Which is where you get- I've never heard of a Finsta. Oh, it's great. You start a whole new account and you make it private.

And then you invite friends, family, just people in whoever your circle, people that you love or people that you just want to show stuff to. And then you post whatever you want without thinking of anything. Obviously not crimes, I guess. But past that, that you could just. You could post a few crimes. I guess You can post a few crimes

Are posting their crimes Feel like that is a fan. Yeah, you can post a crime. I've seen I've seen people post crimes, but that's more Facebook fit thing Yeah, you're a drill rappers are just Fucking crimes all the time. You're like that. Isn't that a crime shirt? are just posting fucking crimes all the time. You're like, isn't that a crime? You sure? But yeah, I was thinking about my Finsta name. You gotta have a Finsta name that shows it's you,

but it's not you. And then you can show anything, and you don't have to feel like, oh, I don't want people to see what my road, my street looks like. You're saying you can post feed on Maine. Sure. That's what's fine.

Well, I like to post mail on Maine, but I don't want anybody to know where I live. So there you go. I'm like, look at this mail. Look at all this mail I got. I hope to, you know, or just, or what I'm watching on TV or when I have a video of my corgi running around in circles that in the background, some Star Trek episode is playing really loudly. Like things like that I don't wanna, you know.

I don't need to explain. It's nice. I don't want to do video shoots for social media. Sure. That seems hard. We're just a little too old for making the video feel natural. I've never felt

natural about it like anytime I've had to do a what do you mean like when you put the phone up to your face and you talk you know is that what you're talking about yeah I you know and they make fun of the millennial pause hey guys you know you waiting that yeah I mean I cannot feel comfortable doing it maybe nobody does and they just fucking get over it because that's what you have to do because that's what being a creative person is now. But yeah, I never figured out how to do a video and make it seem like anything. I think my children feel fine with it because they do not hesitate to do it and then they

tell me about how they got four likes, which is like me, my wife, and my wife's parents. That's great. Sure. That's great. Like brag about it. I'm really worried about their values. They rub it in. Yeah. That's why you use the dogs.

I use my dogs all the time. I post a picture of a bubble that has them saying like, hey, new episode next week. Done. Did you mention you have corgis? I have one half corgi. I mean, she's a full dog, but she's a half corgi. Which half? Front or back? She actually, actually she's...

We gotta have that juicy tush though. We're talking about them corgi tushes. She's a rectangle. Oh, dog. I know. She is a rectangle so she does, she has a corgi body but she's wearing a Jack Russell terrier outfit. Okay. Oh, yeah. I guess that's where they explain it. You're fucking set then. I mean that is like you

That is that is a social media presence, you know, like you. She's a queen. What a wonderful Blessing. There's like stickers and t-shirts with her. She is more recognizable than I am on my own show Because she is the mask like she is actually the logo of my show. I gotta get a fucking axolotl. And I'm set, right? You don't even have a fucking axolotl. I don't know. I don't know where to get it. And I don't know what it is. Is it a salamander?

I think. Steven, order an axolotl. They are from Mexico City, so I'll grab one. I'm on my way there. If you can, if you can. We're going to Mexico City? When you're getting that axolotl, could you get a Cee-lo can't

as well? Give me a couple of moodangs. I need a moodang to say I got a new book out. You got any servals back there? Oh, I'm drowning in servals. Like a tall cat. Okay, let's, let's do this. Let's pause.

Stephen will price axolotls or find one on the dark web if they're illegal. We'll come back for a little bit more. Hey Stephen. Yes? Get me a skink. On my way. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Well, Jordan, we've got some great news. First of all, our Actua mugs are flying off the shelves. Yes, Actua. There's been an earthquake here at Max Fun. Sure. So if you want some mug handles, we can help you out. Go to MaxFunStore.com.

If you like shards, we can send you a box of shards. We got all kinds of cool stuff at MaxFunStore.com, but the latest and greatest are our Actua Mugs and t-shirts. They combine the magic of the comic strip Cathy and the meme Hawk to a girl, plus pictures of us into one confusing thing. Yes. But impressively rendered. Yes, you can, if you want to baffle all who see you, you can grab the t-shirt. But if you like the gag and, you know, but maybe don't want to walk around with it on

you, you can get the beautiful mug and just sip your sip your beverage and chuckle at the wonderful things we have said. Maxfunstore.com is the place to get that. And also, of course, we have our own little projects going on this holiday that we hope you will give as a holiday gift. Jordan has a brand new book that is called Youth Group and is funny and exciting and cool looking and great for persons of all ages. I mean, teenager and up or 12 year old and up. Teen and up. Yeah. Twelve and up, I'm gonna say. Yeah, if you got a kiddo, 12ish and up on your list who likes graphic novels. But hey,

if you just want to read something funny and spooky yourself, Youth Group from me and Bo McGurdy. It's out there wherever you get your books. Hey, maybe check it out at your local indie bookstore. I read it right away and fucking loved it. I had Jordan autograph mine. That's a true story. It's true. It's a true fucking story.

Gonna slab it up. Yeah, I PSA'd it. Hell yeah. Jordan, there's still, there's some autographed ones at Vroomin's, right? Yeah, yeah, I PSA'd it. Yeah. Hell yeah. Jordan, there's still, there's some autographed ones at Vromans, right? Yeah, I think so. I think as of this recording, I signed a big ol' stack at Vromans. And hey, if you want a signed personalized one, you can do that through BookSoup. BookSoup.com, a great indie bookstore here in LA.

I made a little deal with them where I'd pop by every so often and just sign all their orders. So going over to booksoop.com, you can order a youth group or bubble. And in the notes section, you write whatever the hell you want me to write. I'll do Actua, I'll do Gotta Get a Son, any dumb inside joke you have, if you want it personalized to somebody on your holiday.

Everyone agrees this is a good book. Everyone agrees this is a good book. Everyone agrees this is a good book from the maker of a good show. Yes, exactly. Yeah, booksoop.com and they ship anywhere in the world. So no matter where you are, BookSoup will help you out or check out Romans 2 for a signed copy that'll get in the mail post-haste. And in addition to all of the awesome vintage stuff that we have at put this on shop.com decor and jewelry and all kinds of clothes and all kinds of cool stuff. There are a few new products that we have created.

One of them is our line of baseball caps. It's been years since we've made new baseball caps. So we have our dad caps that say dad in a variety of new color ways. So you can check those out. All these baseball caps are handmade by an actual human being in the United States. They have soft leather bands, wool flannel construction. They're really gorgeous things. We have New York and California state caps that feature the states on them.

So I feel like I'm in one of those places. And a Navy cap with a white star that I just created because sometimes you just need a cap. Sometimes you just need a good looking cap that you can wear with anything. Throw it on. Head to the Kroger. And I've also taken some vintage borderline antique Japanese textiles that are woven on narrow gauge looms and turn them into scarves. They're again hand finished by an actual human being,

in this case here in Los Angeles. They are, we are calling them double selvedge scarves or selvedge to selvedge scarves because that narrow loom means we're using the full width of the fabric, both, both selvedges. And you can find those at putthisonshop.com as well. So go to put this on shop, get yourself some fucking copies of Youth Group, you know, get some fucking copies of Bubble too. Why not? You know what I mean?

Fucking Bubble's great. Thank you. I know. What kind of asshole are you if you're listening to this bullshit and you haven't read Jordan's actual good thing that he worked hard And you know, we're also both headed to San Francisco sketch fest I'll be there with judge John Hodgman Jordan will be there with free with ads You can find all the information SF sketch fest calm a lot of great shows at sketch fest

But we expect you to come specifically to ours. Yes, please come to our show. Don't go to the website and then get distracted by the famous people. Yeah. I know that there's a tribute to fucking Barack Obama in conversation with Will Ferrell or whatever. Don't go to that. We need you to buy tickets to our shit. Thank you. We realize that you're there. Barack Obama doesn't care about that. We need you to buy tickets to our show. Thank you. We realize that you're there.

Barack Obama doesn't care about you. We do. Yeah, we look at you. We look you in the eyes. We think about you while we jack off. We would love to look you in the eyes at SF SketchFest. The Free With Ad Show, that is January 23rd at the Punchline, 730.

We'd love to see you there. We'll have a pretty cool guest that we'll announce later. And Judge Sean Hodgman,man is the first week of February. You can find all the information at maximumfund.org slash events or sfsketchfest.com. Judge Sean Hodgman, of course, also playing Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, and Jordan and Jesse Goh and Judge Sean Hodgman will be playing Los Angeles as well. But the shit's sold out. So tough shit.

You're going to have to buy a copy of Bubble if you wanna laugh in Los Angeles. That's the only way, it's the only thing funny in this godforsaken town. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Carolina Hidalgo Danger, Hidalgo. Carolina Hidalgo Danger, Hidalgo.

Danger is your middle name? I really wasn't as- But then also Hidalgo Danger is your middle name. It was the only thing I could think of was, which is actually my Instagram name because I've accidentally called and made a doctor's appointment using my Instagram name. So I just thought of it.

I did it by accident. They're like, what's your name? Carolina Danger Hidalgo. I was like, no, sorry, that's Instagram. That's my Instagram handle. Sorry. Well, maybe you get bumped up a little bit when they see how many followers you have.

Like, oh, we can see you tomorrow. That would be great, actually. Well, maybe you get maybe you get bumped up a little bit when they see how many followers you have like oh We can see you tomorrow That would be great actually come in for your stab wound You can stack a lot right Oh, yeah, sure Mm-hmm just for the content sure. Oh, yeah. Oh I get stabbed for the gram Doing it for the gram ouch I'd get stabbed for the gram. Doing it for the gram.

Ouch. How do you find living in Los Angeles? You have not lived in Los Angeles for all that long. No, I've been here for almost two years and I don't drive. I don't have a license or a permit. I remember when I first moved here, let's say almost two years ago, I said, I can't wait to start learning and I'm going to get my permit Monday morning. And I even got one of the

Booklets that you have to read before you you go take the test and everything and then I don't know where that booklet is It's two years later and I find the booklet then you might say I truly live here But I then I do I do live here I just don't go out much as much as I used to venture out. You know, LA has a different kind of like in New York City, like where we lived in Brooklyn, you go downstairs and you're already boom, there's everything. You're doing stuff's happening. You're doing stuff even if you don't want to do stuff. Even if you're walking your dog, you're still walking through like a wedding or something. Look, if you're walking your dog, you're walking

here. You're walking here. Exactly. Sure. And all kinds of things that people are having, they're eating meals and brunches on the sidewalks. Like, you're in the middle of people's lives. In LA, you can kind of escape that. And I think I took that a little bit to heart in the beginning, because I'm like, this is so nice. I came from living above three bars. And now, and like, you know where-

How did they even fit three bars. And now, and like, you know where- How did they even fit three bars under one apartment? So you were the fourth floor, four, three, two, and one were all different bars. I'm going to one of these third floor walk-up bars. But it was seriously like there were so many bars. And in the morning, the coffee shop would turn into a brunch place.

So it was all night. And so I decided, so we decided let's go live in the valley where it's nice and quiet-ish kind of. And it is. And it was beautiful. It was scary, a little scary at first to get used to the quietness and not to hear like at 4 a.m. someone like, Carla, you know, like kind of thing.

It makes me so uncomfortable. When it is really quiet, I get so freaked out. Really? When I went away to college, that was like the hardest thing for me to deal with was being in Santa Cruz where it is quiet. Oh man. Yeah, okay. I can see that because is there any wildlife or anything?

Like where were you? Were you in the middle of nowhere? You see Santa Cruz is in a fucking forest. So it's like totally, but like when I moved off campus, I moved to a neighborhood called the Beach Flats. And it was just out of a desperation to be somewhere where stuff was going on. And it was basically just because there was,

some shootings, a relatively large number for Santa Cruz. And then also you could always hear the people on the roller coaster at the Santa Cruz Beach. then also you could always hear the people on the rollercoaster at the Santa Cruz beach. Oh my gosh. Shooting each other. Shooting each other. So lots of activities, yes.

Yeah. Yeah, you definitely went like, there are parts of LA where you could probably like simulate a tiny part of Brooklyn or something that kind of approximated big city life, but you're like, bucket, valley. Yes, the valley. And then if we go downtown, it's like what? I want to be close to a Sweet Green. Yeah, I know. I didn't even know what a Sweet Green was until I got here. Now you know.

Now I know. It's a $20 salad. I saw a New Yorker turned Angelino Eddie Pepitone once do a set at the UCB Franklin. And his joke was that everyone had always told him what a great neighborhood the UCB Franklin was in. This is sort of like in the middle, physical middle of Los Angeles,

but not a downtown-y kind of place. And he said, then I found out that when Angelino says something is in a great neighborhood, they mean there's two things on a block. Actually that is very true because last night I went out downtown, I had a burger, and then they said, okay, across the street is where like my band is playing. And I'm like, oh, that's great. And that's the first time that's ever happened in two years. Right.

Is that we parked once. And then that was it. You went to two different things. Yeah, exactly. I got so excited. I'm going on a date with my wife tomorrow, not to brag, but I have a super hot wife and she loves to date me.

And tomorrow we're going on a date and we were thinking of going to a movie, because we have not been to a movie together in six or seven years. Jesse, sorry you missed Deadpool. I know, you guys. Well, at least the sequel's still around the corner, right?

Sorry, yeah. What? No, it's out of theaters. Yeah, I don't think so anymore. I have a question. I had an idea where Deadpool would meet Wolverine from the X-Men. He met him and it happened. Yeah. And it's already streaming. I miss that in the theaters. No, it's like history. It's past. Oh, Jesus Christ. Anyway, I got so excited about this trip to the movies.

I was like, oh, this trip to the movies, we're going to the art movie theater in Pasadena, beautiful Pasadena, California. Go to the landmark? Go to the landmark. Nice. It turns out we can't, because we have to be home by nine. No movies are done by then.

So what date is, are you going on a date at all or are you just going to drive there and come back? I guess we're going to do something else. But in before I realized that we definitely had to be home by nine, I thought for a minute that we were going to go to a 720 movie, you know, stay up late. Yeah. And I was like, and there's a nice restaurant

across the street. I got so excited about going to nice restaurant across the street. I got so excited about going to a restaurant across the street from a second activity. Oh man, and is this the awkward moment where you ask me to watch your kids? Would you mind putting our to getting our to making it so that our children can go to bed with you, not just my wife? No wonder you needed two references. I need I need Hodgman to go to sleep. If I have a bad dream. If you have a bad dream. If something momentous happens to you, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN.

One good momentous occasion would be, did two activities on the same block in Los Angeles. That's a good one. Or just send us a voice memo at jjgo at maximumfun.org. Here's one of those. Hi, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. A guest that I'm really hoping is the person I'm about to refer to coming up here. Maybe. So, I just bought a house with my wife. Hold on. Can you pause it for a second?

Why would your wife be a guest on the show? We're not gonna invite... Wait, wait. Who is your husband? No, it doesn't sound anything like him. Hold on, can you pause it for a second? Why would your wife be a guest on the show? We're not gonna invite... Wait, wait, is this your husband? No, it doesn't sound anything like him. Maybe, maybe this is Scott Marvel Cassidy, Maria Bamford's husband. Oh, maybe. Could be, doesn't sound like him at all.

I don't think he listens to our show. Maybe he's using one of those scream voice changers. Nice man. Yeah, nice man. Yeah, go ahead and press play. So I just bought a house with my wife from a beloved Jordan, Jesse Goh guest, and for privacy reasons, I'm not gonna tell you who it is, but it's pretty amazing. And I thought you guys should know that. What person who does this show can afford a house?

That's what I was about to say. Yeah, maybe this is somebody who, maybe this is like a- I don't mean to affirm maybe you're a homeowner, I don't know if you guys rent or- I don't know, I lived above three bars, you know? So I mean, that's all the information you need to know. Okay, okay. And it was in a residential neighborhood.

It was one of those where we had to like run in the middle of the night and like throw our trash in like a condo across the street because there was no street. And we did that for five years. Stupid condo. I know we did it very illegally until we moved to LA. Now we're on the up and up now. Nice.

I had an LA apartment where I had to use someone else's trash. Okay, so we're okay. We're cool, right? We're not terrible people. Oh, we got that here. I would say this, Jordan. I've been thinking about your question. I think the answer is someone who gave up on show business went into a different line of work, not just

a different line of work, but a different line of work in a different place and then bought a house. So someone who moved to upstate New York became a realtor and bought a house. That's, you're probably right about that. Yeah. That makes sense. I wonder who did that? Maybe we'll talk to Chris Fairbanks in a while. Yeah, we should check in with Fairbanks. Actually, I saw him the other night and it was great. He's so funny. He said all this funny stuff! He certainly said it in a really funny way too.

Yeah! He's so funny. He's a very nice man too. It was like a week and a half after Halloween and he wore his Halloween costume. That's really cool. It was great. Oh man alive. We like you too a lot.

Listen, when you're on your way to becoming a beloved recurring guest, you'll come on for years and years. And the cookies are real. I do have cookies to bring. And at some point you'll bring us cookies. And they're not good, by the way. You are wearing your Halloween costume, so thank you for that. Yes. You make you for that.

You make a lovely Deadpool. Thank you. And then, you know, once you start coming on the show for 10, 11, 12 years, then we'll start just kind of reminiscing about you when you're not here and having a little laugh, having a little laugh. It's how it works. Steven Ray Morris, we asked him during the break to find out what it would take to get us an axolotl, the charming meme salamander that will change my social media presence forever. Unfortunately, they are illegal in the state of California.

What? Fuck. Because they're considered detrimental animals that pose a threat to native species. Those little cuties? I know, but they're apparently allowed in Hawaii and New Mexico, but you just have to get proper permits. So. Okay. What's the permitting process there? Let's see.

Do you have to hire an expediter? Yeah, I think you have to get somebody to like, you know, to rise the ax a little or something. You got to get your city council person involved. Just give them a little stamp on the head. Well, we can move this operation in New Mexico, can't we? I think we should. We might be able to afford houses.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay, so as the guest on the show, you'll be moving with us. Okay, yeah, I guess so. We're moving this whole operation. I'm not driving. Okay, yeah, I guess so. We're moving this whole operation. I'm not driving. Yeah. That is the only thing. I'll rent the U-Haul.

And we leave tonight. You know what? You don't even need to rent a U-Haul, Jordan. I got a minivan full of cheese right up there. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. See you later, old life. Oh, can Chris Fairbanks come with us?

No. No, you only get one guess you'll be great you'll be great you'll do a good job mm-hmm what about a servo can I get a servo all right hold hold on okay you're taking notes over there need to fucking check on this servo yeah I just said servo legality nope they're not illegal they're not legal in California What is legal in the United States of Commie-fornia? I gotta say legal exotic pets in California. Can I get a pet joint, please? You can. You can walk anything you want. Yeah, as long as you got a little leash. Wait, wait a minute. It says exotic pets legal in California are monitor lizards zebras and tarantulas

Yeah, I know about these zebras because one time I went to visit I was visiting you might even have been there Jordan I don't know. I don't remember what the circumstances were. I was visiting our old friend Tyler. Mm-hmm Who's appeared on this show a few times over the years and Tyler grew up in Woodside, California, which is like a now a venture capital paradise. But I think when his parents moved there, it was like a back to the land hippie place. And they built their own house. They live in a barn. And we were sitting in his parents' barn looking out the kitchen window and a fucking zebra walked by. And I turned to Tyler and said, Tyler, did a zebra just walk by that

window? I remember this. I was either, yeah, I think I was there for this. Maybe we have a sketch comedy show at Tyler's house. Maybe. Yeah. Why were we all at Tyler's house? But yeah, it turned out he had a neighbor who was like a rich Silicon Valley person who had just bought an estate and just filled it full of fucking ostriches and zebras because you can buy That would be fun. They had giraffes too. I have looked into owning a llama. Would you prefer a llama or an alpaca? I've wondered that too. I wonder if it's like, is Pepsi okay?

I don't know. If I, you know, that's what would, it would happen if I would buy one. But apparently they get very lonely. So you also have to get other livestock. And that's probably how you end up in that whole zebra thing. And then you have an ostrich. And that's why i started with one half corgi and i have two dogs and then i'm gonna need

a dog for another dog so i get it you just yeah you fill up your riches with your animals and your zebras and stuff are you worried that if you order a llama uh the server is just going to bring you half coke half spread i am worried about that. Yeah, no, I mean, I hope I would go, it would be more like a car dealership, like I would go and we would meet, and then the dogs would meet, of course, and then see how that goes.

Kick the tires. And you learn about the features. Yeah, yeah, but I do think, unless Steven says otherwise, I do think llamas are legal to own as long as you're not a jerk. I don't know. What are you? What are we? What are we dropping on a llama? 2500 bucks maybe? Oh, that's a great question. That's cheaper than a car. Yeah. There you go. You don't need to get this driver's license. Just get your llama license. I just need a cross, Burbank, so I can get to the 7-Eleven to get my sodas in the morning.

That's really all I need. They do have horse trails, don't they? I gotta tell you this, Jordan, $2,500 seems like exactly what a llama would cost. That's pretty good. I truly cannot tell you. I could say $1,800, but I'd just be choosing that because I'm disappointed I can't choose $2,500. So let's do this.

Let's take a break. It's the prices, right? Stephen, price a llama, and we'll come back and see who wins. And find out about alpacas too, just in case. I wonder if it's cheaper or more expensive. I heard one time that once you go alpaca, you never go alpaca. Yep.

I'm going to bet $1 by the way. Oh, fuck. That's the move. That's the move. Yeah. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Dr. Game Show is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners with callers from all around the world. And this is a game to get you to listen.

Name three reasons to listen to get you to listen. Name three reasons to listen to Dr. Game Show. Kyla and Lunar from Freedom Mame. Dishes, folding the laundry, doing cat grooming. Okay, thank you. Oh, things you could do while listening. I love that the read, I'm like why do you listen to this show and Lunar's like dishes? Fantastic Manolo number one is that it'll inspire you You're gonna be like, oh I could do that That's all we have time for but you'll just have to find after game show a maximum fun to find out for yourself Do you like stuff things items?

Because max fun store comm has tons of stuff from a bunch of shows. Want a shirt? We got em. Bumper stickers? No need to honk, they're here. Drinkware. Sweatshirts. Tiny bandana for your dog.

It can all be yours at MaxFunStore.com. And if you're a MaxFun member, keep an eye on your inbox because you get a discount. Now is the time to shop for the Max Fun fans in your life, including yourself. You deserve it. Maxfunstore.com. Go get something special or kinda dumb. We've got it all. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Carolina Danger Hidalgo. So what's the word on these llamas? Well, both alpacas and llamas are legal in California. Llamas are larger. Thanks to Big Llama. In front of Big Pharma, but Big Llama? Llama la lobby.

To Alison. It seems like alpacas are the softer, sweeter, and llamas are, according to Google, confident and brave. Alpacas make a real nice sweater. I ain't never worn a llama sweater. Well. Alpacas make a real nice sweater. I never wore an Alama sweater.

Well, alpacas don't actually make them, though. That's the biggest part of it. You're not going to get them to work. A little factory full of alpacas. I mean, I have needles. That's what they need, right? We could try to train them. We'll do the best we can with having them hold me.

Carolina, thank you so much for taking this on. I really appreciate it, because I don't know if I could have done it. So I'm so glad that you're gonna do it for me. Yes, teach the Alpacas how to make their own sweaters for us. Hi, sharks. Hi, sharks.

Fucking podcast that went on Cubans gonna love this so apparently what are we dropping what price wise show llamas a good show llama can be up to 50 What kind of show is this do they do? agility Is this like mr.. Ed is Is this a family friendly show? I think so. Right. Are they fucking?

That's what we want to know. Yeah, see the alpacas should be, you can get a cheap alpaca for like 500. Wow. Okay. I'll take two. But like regular llamas are between 5,000 and 10,000. So wow. Wow.

Dang, we were both off. Llamas are fucking way more expensive than alpacas. I'd rather get three alpacas. Yeah, right? Exactly. That's the value move. Yeah. And just like have them at like a chariot, like a Ben-Hur or something.

We're going to 7-Eleven. Right around Burbank with a chariot of alpacas. If llamas cost five to 10 and alpacas only cost 500, I bet if you bought a dozen alpacas, which would be 6,000. Six pack. That's what you were doing? That was pretty good. That's pretty good. That's about pack.

So what were you doing? Well, I was going to say, probably throwing another one. You probably may get a baker's dozen, right? Or a sweater's dozen. Sweater's dozen, sure. Listen, whatever Mark Cuban wants. We just want to do this deal. Here's what's important, Jordan. At the end of the day, this is an acclaimed show that everyone likes. Yes, it's a good show.

It's a good show that's full of stuff that people want to hear. Carolina, you do a lot of research for your podcast. I know listening to your episode about can I learned a lot about Kraut Rock. This show is a different kind of show. Yeah, no, you still learn a lot. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure. We were all we were all we're podcasters. We're about learning knowledge. It's still focused in its own way. Literally, if I'm famous for one thing, it's my love of lifelong learning. Everybody knows about that. Everybody knows. Steven, you know this, right?

Hell yeah. Love of lifelong learning. I took Spanish at LA City College. That's amazing. Didn't you take an art class at Barnstall? Or photography? I've taken several classes at the Barnstall Art Center. Thank you very much.

How's your Spanish? It's very poor. Okay. We were about to get started. Muy malo. Yeah. Jordan took fiction and passed it into City College over there at PCC. Got an A. Jordan got an A.

Go Lancers. Thank you. These are learners. That's what you're saying. Most of the students... And burners. I was trying to make the joint smoking motion. Didn't work. I'll tell you this. You take Spanish at the community college, which I don't recommend it or not recommend

it, I would say. But if you do, you're going to need to anticipate that 60% of those people in that class, native Spanish speakers. Just getting a few credits, getting a few credits for 10 bucks, you know, sign up for a community college, cost $10, sign up for your native language. That's not bad. You get 10 tutors right there if you make friends.

Oh yeah, that's a really good point. I took actually one time, the only broadcasting class that I've ever taken in my life was, after I, right after I graduated from college I used to get the San Francisco City College Like course schedule in the mail, you know, they'd mail it out to anybody and I saw there was a broadcasting class at the campus of San Francisco City College that was right by my house. I thought, I'm gonna sign up for this fucking broadcasting class. I'll learn how to broadcast. I'll learn the

secrets that no one knew to tell me at KZSCFM. And I signed up for this class turned out to all be in Spanish. Oh boy, just 100% in Spanish. And our professor, Professor Carlos, was so nice to include, he would check in with me and include me in the class. He was this unbelievably handsome man. This guy, I later saw him, like two years later after I finished the class, I saw him as a life-size standee

of a pharmacist in a Walgreens. Wow. Wow, okay. I was like, oh shit shit, there goes there goes Professor Carlos. But he was all about he was on Kiai QI La Grande de Estes, which is the one of the big AM stations in San Francisco, on the Carlos y Marti show. And he was all about fucking everybody in the class should go, go to a Spanish language radio station in San Francisco, buy a show, like buy a time slot, and then sell ads door to door. Wow.

That was his path. Wow. That's like how he saw success in broadcasting working. And he was very successful. Sure. Yeah. This is like the afternoon drive show on KIQI or something. And that's how he got it.

That's how, apparently. Oh my gosh. And like multiple people in my class just did that. Like got overnight, like paid their 500 bucks a week or whatever for an overnight show and then sold $700 worth of ads on it. Dang. All right. Absolutely wild.

Okay. Wow. Very handsome though. I think that was the secret is this guy was so handsome. You see, he had a lot of hustles going, stock photo model. A little bit of gray at the temples. Oh yeah, that's a good look. Just like,

Jesse, do you understand what's happening? Yeah, thank you, Carlos. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you for having me. I realized when Steven told me who was coming in today, I'm like, oh, I listened to her Ramones series.

It was great. Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, thank you. Really fantastic. Do you have a place where people should start? Other than is your favorite band covered on the show? Right, yeah.

No, I see what you mean. A lot of times people like to start with whatever band they're interested in, which works. It's really good because that way they can write you angry letters about something they disagree with. You know, I only got one once. That's kind of amazing. I mean, I've gotten angry letters, but one once about something that they disagreed on the thing. But that was also because I don't know we have that many listeners that I've pissed off the thing. But that was also because I don't know we have that many listeners that I've pissed off enough people, you know. But we mostly get angry letters from Jehovah's Witnesses in your neighborhood. All kinds of things. Do you guys get letters from Jehovah's Witnesses? No, no.

I totally like once a year or so I get like a handwritten letter. I don't know how they get my name and address. Yeah. They handwritten letter about Jesus. Oh, you know what? I have been getting those. Is it angry though? Or is it like, do they want you to come over to their side or something? It has a sort of intense grandma in it. Yeah, that's funny. I have been getting those. Yeah, sort of concern and disappointment, I would say, more than, yeah. Kind of like what they're doing. Yeah, I could see that.

They probably know I'm celebrating birthdays. That is it. We can hear you in there. We saw balloons. No, listen to whatever you'd like, to be honest, because we do punk and really go anywhere. I'm very proud of that Ramon series. It's great, yeah.

That was the first time when I first started. That was the first series where I was like, I want to now storyboard, I want to like make this, I've always, you know, I'm obviously one of the millions and millions of people who wanted to be a film director and then never even tried. So this is my chance to do it, like where I have the characters and the narrative

and the story and I do all the pieces, well with my husband and co-host. And so the Ramon series was the beginning of having a narrative of actually intentionally, like, taking someone through a story. So, I would say start with the Ramones, I guess. Yeah, sure, that would be like, they get their start together,

and they're like famous for playing CBGBs. They become like this international sort of like, these icons. And then eventually, Dee Dee is booked on our college radio show, but we keep calling and talking to his wife and he's not there. And so eventually we just play his whole rap album.

That's pretty much what you need to, Dee Dee King? And then he dies three days later. Oh my God. He did. We definitely, yes, we cover Dee Dee King. We cover that whole thing of him recording the album and him outside and running into LO cool J and these people, you know and him being like hey, can you come in and do and everyone's like I'm really I gotta go I have I have a colonoscopy

He like pulls out his notebook and it says did you ever see a glider flying in the wind? I bet you didn't know I'm half German. Actual lyric friends, the only one I remember. I think he caught maybe Debbie Harry in doing one thing or something. Oh yeah, I think, yeah, sure. So there were a couple people that he was like, probably like, hey, you wanna grab lunch,

and then the next thing you know, you're in a recording booth. Uh-huh. But. It's truly just like holding a microphone up to there. He really believed he... Part of it was that he truly believed he was a rapper, right? Yeah. Well, he wanted...

Because rap was becoming huge at that point, and so he thought, I can do this because it's the next huge thing. So he was just trying to hold on to that. Right. I started one thing, I'll just start this other thing. Yeah, and I don't know, I really don't know why he thought he could do it. Yeah. But he still went for it.

He did. And so it's an interesting story about these guys because the whole time they think they're failures. The entire time they don't know about, like they know they're huge in South America and everything. But they think in America, I don't have a number one hit, a top 10 hit. They thought they were failures the whole time and they just kept trying and trying and then they all fortunately passed away for reasons. I mean, Johnny Ramone can go to hell for all I care. But the rest of them, Joey and all them, they all passed away.

And then later, it's like everyone realizes like, no, they didn't fail. They were just, they weren't recognized in the way they wish they could have until the Hall of, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for them, in that case, if that mattered to them. But the entire time, they hated it. They were never gonna reach that top of satisfaction, that feeling, which is so, you know,

kind of what everyone goes through. Sure, yeah. They just wanted to be the Sherelles. Yeah, but no one gets to the top. It just, you're just kind of what everyone goes through. Sure, yeah. Just want it to be the Shirelles. Yeah, but no one gets to the top. It just, it's never gonna be the Shirelles. You're never gonna be the Bay City Rollers. I'm sorry, you know, but close. I should mention, I didn't bring this up earlier

and then we just met tonight, but I am the Bay City Roller. I knew it, I knew it the whole time. That's, you see, I'm in the presence of a genius right here. That's why he's always spelling Saturday night. I also really like the Monk series that you guys did was fucking incredible. Oh, you did a series about Monk? Yeah, yeah, about the Monks, actually. About the TV show.

Tony Chalupy is really good though. Honestly, we should all do a monk recap show. We're not doing a monk recap show. But yeah, no. We got into history. So sometimes we'll get into history. It's a show about everything. Yeah, there you go.

A show can be anything. We've had the creator of Monk on our show before. Yeah. He'd do a monk recap show with us, right? Yeah, probably. He wrote Rat Race. Could we do a Rat Race recap show with him? right? Yeah, probably. He wrote rat race. Could we do a rat race? Yeah, ever since I realized I had Hulu for years because it was one of those things I didn't know I had it is more

Attorney on it yet. Oh, yes Tierney, what about Kubiak from Parker Lewis can't Only actors besides George Clooney, I remember, from the ER. One of the nerds from Revenge of the Nerds. Yes. Anthony Edwards? Anthony Edwards. Paul McCrane and Anthony Edwards.

Yeah, well, Anthony Edwards does leave at one point, but I do not want to spoil it too much. And honestly, we need to save it for the recap show that we're all doing now. It's like 15 seasons, but we can probably get it all done in 45 minutes. Probably. I think we probably can. Yeah. Yeah. Catalina, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you so much for coming in and joining us. Aw, thank you so much too. We can talk about this anytime. The theme music of Jordan Jesse Goh is Love You by The Free Design, our thanks to The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Stephen Ray Morris is our producer. You can find us on social media,

jordanjessegopod on Instagram, and jordandavidmorris and jessethorn, very famous. You know, the holidays are right around the corner, Jordan. They sure are. I've got a couple great ideas for people. Help me, Jesse. I can't think of anything to get people for the holidays are right around the corner, Jordan. They sure are. I've got a couple of great ideas for people. Help me, Jesse. I can't think of anything to get people for the holidays. They should get themselves one of our Actua mugs. Oh, they should. That's going to be at maxfunstore.com.

And if you like it, if you like to drink out of it, you'd probably like to wear it as well. Yeah. So why not get a t-shirt? Go to your local bookstore, your local independent bookstore, order Jordan's brand new book, because it's great. Thank you. Thank you. That's called Youth Group. Youth Group, yeah.

A graphic novel with the great Bowen McGurdy. I think there'll probably still be some. I signed a bunch of copies of the beautiful Vromans in Pasadena. Oh, right there in Pasadena. That'd be a great thing to do if your head is the landmark. Yeah, right. If you and your wife want to do two things. Yeah.

But yeah, you can get those. They'll ship anywhere at Vromance. So if you want to sign copy, you can do it through Vromance or get it at your favorite local indie bookstore. And you know what? I got a store on the internet, putthisonshop.com. I just brought back my, you know, those dad caps that has to say dad on them. Ooh, dad.

Really nice. Really, really nice. Putthisonshop.com. They may be sold out by the time this goes out, but because they're selling fast, but putthisonshop.com for that and lots of many other things. Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you, love you