Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Stay Diamond, with Chris DeMakes (Less Than Jake)

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

On this week’s episode, we welcome Less Than Jake’s Chris DeMakes to chat about airport showers, Labubu and squishmallow lore, his podcast (Chris DeMakes A Podcast), and so much more.Pre-order Jordan’s new Predator comic!Pre-order Jordan’s new Venom comic!Donate to Al Otro Lado, any amount helps right now.Buy signed copies of Youth Group and Bubble from Mission: Comics And Art!~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, terrified Diamond member? Okay, so this is because you've gone to see so many of the terrifier movies? No, I just took grace to see that one murder clown movie.

Yeah. That had a chainsaw. but and a in-universe Christmas song. Yeah. But that's not the reason why I'm terrified. I have slowly gotten over that movie. Okay. I think I'm back to normal after having seen it a year ago or whatever.

And I want to be clear, Jordan. Let's talk about your diamond status in a minute. I want to be clear. Grace was over it three minutes after leaving the theater. Completely unbothered by it. I don't know what's going on inside my child's head. Anyway, continue. I've been getting a lot of letters.

I get a lot of mail about the show, a lot of snail mail. And people have been saying, you're not talking enough about your hotel points. What are, what you need constant updates as to what's going on with the various hotel points you're collecting. Yeah, that is a big concern. People love it. They're crazy about it. Sometimes I wonder if it's not just advocacy groups passing out form letters, uh, where people just write in their name and in what congressional district they live and then mail it into you. I know the parents television council has done a lot of pressure campaigns about your hotel points.

Right. But go ahead. I mean, in any event, my assistant reads all of them. Okay. And forwards me the gist. And people are like more hotel points talk. So, yeah, big update in that regard. I am now a Hilton Diamond member. Thank you.

Thank you. You're welcome. Many perks. If you're wondering why I'm glowing, it's not because I'm pregnant. It's not because I am a diamond member. And I drink lots of water. I try to drink lots of water. I mean, you're in some ways, pregnant with

hospitality perks. There you go. Yeah. Full of perks. Soon I will birth the perks. Yeah. You've also taken quite a few perk-a-sets. We should mention that as well.

That's true. That's one of the perks. You can get any pill you want. When you're a Diamond Club member, you just, you email the Hampton Inn ahead of time. You tell them what prescriptions you want bedside. They'll give you that and a fucking phone charger. A sham doctor will help you out. I love it.

Yes. And so anyways, Diamond Club member over here, very excited. And I want to stay that way, right? Like, I don't, I can't, now that I'm Diamond, if I get kicked down to gold, my life's over. Right. I'm on. I'm on. I have a concern here.

Yeah. You have been ascending in the ranks as you have traveled our great nation. Right. selling your comics and graphic novels at various cons around around the old red,

white, and blue. I would imagine... Canada as well. Canada as well. I collect a sequence in Canada. I would imagine that your pace on that might slow down a little bit. Are you concerned,

you know, as these, uh, you know, new releases become catalog titles. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Are you at all concerned that this might,

endanger your status as a diamond. Yes, Jesse, to your, to speak to your concern, yes, I lie awake worrying about this. I'm worried that my comic output will not match my thirst for points, my vampiric thirst for points. You wake up, spring to your feet in a cold sweat, and scream, pay for cookies! So, yeah, I'm just coming up with some new ideas, kind of brainstorming right now. Now, just some stuff to do to collect more points, traveling vacuum cleaner salesman, that's kind of my... That would be good.

I have that up on the vision board. Right. But anyways, I was on the phone with Hilton today, just, you know, confirming some stuff about an upcoming stay. There is a special diamond member line, and they will do an impression of whatever celebrity you want when you call. You just say what celebrity. You want them to answer the voice.

Answer with, they'll do the voice. They have to, I mean, they're not great at voices. They're, you know, phone operators, but they try. And after the call, you know, everything went great, very helpful over there at Hilton. They asked if I wanted to listen to a special offer for 2,000 extra points. Hell fucking, yeah, I do. I'm looking for these extra points, Jesse. Again, I got to stay diamond.

How many points is 2,000? I mean, I understand that it's right there in between 1999 and 2001, but what is the, like, meaningfully? I'm not into this enough to where I'm actually keeping track of them. I just want more. I know I need them and I want more. So I'm like, yeah, I'll, I'll stay on the line to hear about this special offer. Get the points, right? This is going to be easy.

So they transfer me over to special offer guy, real nice, young jovial dude. He's like, I want to tell you about the, I want to tell you about the, you know, Hilton Fresh Days. I don't think that's what it was called. I'm going to say Hilton Fresh Days, because that's what popped into my mind first. It's like, let me tell you about Hilton Fresh Days. Where do you like to travel? And I'm like, oh, my fucking God, I'm already in over my head. Like, I have to tell this guy what I like.

Like, I thought I was just going to listen to a recorded. I know that's dumb. I thought I was just going to listen to a thing and not have to engage with it. But now I just like to tell this guy, like, what I like to do. And I'm like, I don't know, man. Like, I like to go to a city and eat their famous burger, you know. That's just whatever the juicy, Lucy, whatever it is. Sure.

Yes, that's a vacation to me. And I'm like, I like to visit New City. cities. Hopefully that's just fucking broad and then he can start his thing. He's like, okay, well, here's some cities. We have fresh days in. Again, I don't think this is called fresh days. And he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, but Orlando. I just want this guy to stop. I'm like, Orlando. I've been wanting to visit Orlando. Oh, really? What do you want to do in Orlando? Fuck, I'm just, I don't, I want this to end. Right. Like, I mean, it's your fault for picking Orlando, the least plausible. It is. It is. It was bad. I mean, and I'm like,

Presuming he didn't say Tallahassee in the list of cities, I think if it had been Philadelphia, you could have come up with something on the fly. Yeah, Orlando. Well, I say Orlando, he's like, what do you want to do in Orlando? So I'm like, play for the Orlando magic. Swamp, swamp. I just, so I'm like, I want to visit the theme parks. There you go, right? Right.

And then he's like, okay. When he starts laying out this pitch of like hotels I can stay in an Orlando. Lando, and I don't have to pick the day, but I just have to pay this guy on the phone now. He just needs me to pay for this thing so he can get his commission or whatever. And he's like rattling off the thing. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't think I can like book a vacation now, but I'll like read more about this online or something. And again, I'm just like this, this, I know this is not what this guy wants, but I'm just trying to get off the phone at this point. And you're always glad to do your own research online.

Of course, yes. Let me tell you about horse tranquilizers. Don't use them for health. There you go. I did the research. Turns out, the horse tranquilizer thing is fake. But you can get them if you've got Hilton Diamond status. Oh, yeah.

They will inject you with anything at Hampton Inn if you're diamond. Yeah. And they don't care if you have a note from your doctor or not. They'll just do it. And so I... They literally ask you if you've met a veterinarian. And so I say this guy, hey, I'm not. ready to book a vacation right now.

But thank, thank you. And I'm like, I just got to get my 2,000 points. But can you, you know, I'm not ready to book a vacation right now. Thanks for this information. And then, you know, you know, in the exorcist when the little girl's voice changes from a little girl voice to a demon voice. Yeah, sure. There's this pause. And then in the most...

This guy, the change in this guy's voice, post-paws, he goes from friendly Hilton guy. Where do you want to take a vacation? Hey, I'm not ready to like book a thing right now. Why don't you want to visit the theme parks? It was chilling. I just hung up. I've been hearing this guy in my head all day. Why don't you want to visit the theme parks?

Like, do you hate fun? Don't you want to get a funnel cake? Don't you want to see the differences between Florida Disneyland and Anaheim Disneyland? There are many. If you don't come, they'll put down Goofy. They have a gun to Goofy's temple right now. Why? Why do you want to see Goofy's brain splattered all over the It's a Small World Wall?

Don't make Jasmine kill Goofy. Jasmine has to do it. Yeah, Jasmine has to do it because they're threatening Aladdin. Anyway, I'm thinking of switching over to Marriott. Okay, well, fair enough. You know, Jordan, I have never met a touring musician who does not have points. Yes. And so I think we have the perfect guest on this week's program.

He is not only, Jordan, not only the lead singer of the band less than Jake. He also has his own podcast called Chris D makes a podcast. Chris D'emex. Hi, Chris. How are you? Hello. Thank you. I am fantastic. The story about the points really hit home to me. Not so much from a hotel standpoint, but a couple years ago, I flew one way from Tampa to Boston, got off the plane, ate a chicken sandwich from Wendy's, got back on the same plane to fly back to Boston so I could get diamond status on Delta. Yes. Yeah. It was worth. chicken sandwich it was all right it was it was about three hundred and thirty dollars i think with tax for the for the round trip flight and uh it got me into the lounges for the next year

got me four uh upgrades for first class where you can lay down going overseas so the whole time you were talking about i i was kind of on pins and needles because i feel i feel you with the uh with points thing once you goes on in the lounge chris uh the lounge is is great uh for the most part uh now they've made it way harder to get up to diamond status, I'd have to probably fly away more because every Tom Dick and Harry was in the lounge at some point. It got overran and I could see why people would want that thinned out. I'll tell you something wild though, and I was in it recently flying to London. They're still doing it. Detroit, the Delta Sky Lounge in the Detroit Airport. It's a free pour alcohol. I've never seen anything like it. It's just

Wow. Yeah, you just, you just walk up. Then there's whiskey, there's vodka, there's rum, whatever you want. And I was like, well, this is kind of good, could be a, could be a shed show. Seems like trouble. It's already a sort of hard bit city. I don't know. Do people get drunk and do weird things on planes?

I've heard that before. Yeah. You know, I, my guys and myself, we've, it's been years since anybody's even had a dream. We learned early on that the drinking, especially long, long flights over. sees it just doesn't uh doesn't cut it with dehydration and whatnot i uh went to mexico city with my mother a couple of years ago and she was flying from san francisco where she lives i was flying from los angeles so i was i was by myself on the plane and it was one of those things where when i was buying the ticket it was like an extra hundred dollars to be in first class and i was like

I had never really flown first class, but I was like, for a hundred bucks, how could I not? And then once I bought the $100 ticket, by the way, I ended up not in first class and they didn't, they wouldn't explain to me why. But I did have a first class ticket. That was something that was between me and the airline in a long series of emails after I, arrived in Mexico City. But I did have a first class ticket. And so I got to go in the Delta lounge at LAX. They have a reciprocal relationship. Ero Mexico does with Delta. And because I don't usually fly first class, I'm normally the kind of guy that shows up at the airport an hour before my flight. I don't miss, I don't miss planes, but I also don't like hanging out in airports. But in this

case, I figured, well, if I got access to this lounge, I should just get there three hours early and really experience the pores. Yeah, exactly. Well, that is to say, experience the pores while not having to experience the pores. Am I right, Jordan? Yeah. So, yeah, I had an extra $100. Hell yeah, bro.

And I, like, I think it's fair to say that other than feeling special, Alcohol is the top appeal of these lounges. And as a non-drinker, it's lost on me. I would say probably second is the various stews. There's just a variety of different, you know, slow-cooked foods in chafing dishes. Each lounge has a hobo chef. Yeah. But this Delta Lounge in L-A-X had showers.

No way. And there wasn't anybody in the showers. I'm like, there's nowhere I would rather be than in a shower in general. Okay. Like, I would rather be in a shower than in, you know, a land of milk and honey with a thousand naked virgins or whatever. I didn't realize you were this biggest, I've known you for years. I didn't know you were this big as a shower guy. Really?

Well, here's the thing. I had only ever taken a shower at an airport once before. And I know that's probably two more showers at airports than either of you have ever taken. So, Chris, shower at an airport? Well, let me tell you something. So when I knew I was the diamond status on Delta, I was the head honcho. Okay, there's a new sheriff in town. Here I come.

Mr. Delta Lounge here. Yeah. Bang, bang, firing your six guns in the air. Hey, there you go. I knew flying in a 10-hour flight from Frankfurt, Germany, into Detroit. I'd have a layover before connecting home to Tennessee. And I knew they had a shower. Man, I'd pack an extra person.

pair underwear, the shirt and the socks. And let me tell you, after a 10-hour flight and dealing with the airport and the dirty plane and whatnot, it is, ah, it's something else. So the one shower I had taken previously was when I worked in Laos, I flew back from Laos to Bangkok, Bangkok to Tokyo, Tokyo to San Francisco. And on the flight from Bangkok to Tokyo, which is a pretty long flight. It was like four and a half hours or something. I can't remember.

I got a migraine. I did not have my migraine medication with me. It was in my checked luggage. And I, like, landed in Tokyo, collected my luggage, just, like, with involuntary crying from pain. And then, like, took my medicine, rented a bathroom, which they have at the airport and told her you can just straight up rent them. You can just give them $20 and just sat in the shower for an hour straight. And it was the happiest I've ever been. Like, as my medicine started to.

work and as I sat in that shower but I basically recreated that in this delta shower and I was you know there was probably 10 showers there and I think I was mine was the only one that was in use and I'm like these chumps are sitting there typing on laptops these dry chumps sitting there being dry I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe these turkeys and the mistakes they were making But that is like, I just don't fly quite enough. Like, like for a while, Hodgman had diamond medallion status, as covered in his book, Medallion status. And Matthew are our touring engineer on Judge John Hodgman, he flies American Airlines, I believe, but he has 20 trillion American airline points. And so he can, like, get everyone free luggage and get everyone into the lounge.

and all these things. But he moved to Mexico and is now switching to flying Volaris, which is like the Southwest Airlines of Mexico. And apparently with Volaris Airlines, you can just pay, it's like $850 or something like that or $1,000. And you can just fly any Volaris flight

you want to for free for a year. It's like been playing an AMCA list member or something, but a plane. You can't, like, you can't, you can't reserve a seat. You can't bring any luggage. It's got to be, like, within 24 hours or something. You got to book it. Yeah.

Yeah. You can just fly around. And when I heard about this, I got so jealous of his, like, childless jet setter lifestyle, where he can just put all his, and he already is, like, he's already, like, full roadie. Like, all the clothes he owns just fit. into a backpack. You know, he just only wears black t-shirts. Black marino wool clothing that he can wash in the shower while he takes a shower or whatever. And that lifestyle, deeply appealing to me, despite my attraction to my wife and children and the stuff that we own.

Well, on the topic of travel, Chris, I wanted to ask you something. I wanted to bring up something that, you know, I hope isn't controversial. This is, I'm doing like a fake thing. I'm doing like a fake buildup to a silly thing here. I hope this isn't controversial. You're in this studio right now with Kanye West. Oh, boy. You guys are collaborating on something. I saw Lest and Jake in San Diego, not too long ago, had the time of my fucking life.

I've been seeing Lest and Jake since high school. You guys are great every time. Thank you. Amazing live band. If you get a chance to see Lest and Jake, see them, see them, see them. What a band. I'm having the time of my life. but I noticed some stage banter that I thought was that I thought was kind of risky.

We're in San Diego. Obviously, you know, as Californians, we know this. Every little pocket of California feels very strongly about their particular brand of Mexican food. Right. It's something, you know, it's something you hold dear when you grow up in California. What was the specific Mexican food where I grew up and everyone else is doing it wrong? you from stage I don't remember what I said oh no

I'm paraphrasing here but you said pico de gallo sucks yeah and I'm like whoa he's and the crowd did not start hurling bottles no no I did so man I

I love Mexican food. It's so great. When there's cilantro added to it and there's too much, it overtakes everything. I feel like someone put soap shavings in my meal, and that's my problem with Pico. Oh, okay. You're a cilantro man. No, I'm not. Reverse cilantro.

A reverse cilantro. Yeah, reverse, reverse cilantro. I just, you know, I don't mind a subtle hint. It's got to be subtle, but if it's too much, it takes over the dish for me. I wonder when you're, like, traveling and you're, like, traveling and you're, like, like doing the stage banter like have you ever like what what what goes well and what have you ever have you ever like done something you go oh whoops this wasn't the thing to do in this city yeah not so much in the city it's more of you know i think as a younger performer what what i said that i wouldn't

say today you know okay okay yeah stuff like stuff like that i just sometimes i cringe and think like, yeah, you're younger and, you know, just some knucklehead things like that. Not so much city-centric, though. Okay. Do you think about the stage banter ahead of time? Are you like, when you're pulling in, are you looking at like, okay, like, what can I mention during the stage banter to get everybody to go woo? You know, I do sometimes. I say, and I'll explain, you know, I think a lot of, I have some actor friends, comedian friends, and they're frustrated.

You know, they want to be musicians, right? And I would love to be able to get on a stage and entertain with just a microphone. And I guess I do in a certain way with the band. But, you know, I'll get to cities and I've been there enough where you can kind of know what to hone in on. And there's, you know, you'll know traditions in that city or popular foods and whatnot. And, you know, you'll just take that to the stage. Or sometimes you'll see something that's relevant, you know, it's something that's current in the news. and it's centric to that city and you'll touch on it.

And, you know, sometimes you'll get booze or you'll, you'll get a couple jeers. But for the most part, you know, it's pretty positive. Yeah, I was, I mean, the Pico de Gaio thing, I was like, this is a man who's like testing his limits. Yeah. He's like, listen, I tour, you know, whatever, 100 nights out of the year. I'm just going to see how this goes. I mean, I think when you're 20 years old, maybe punk rock is about, you know, overthrowing the government or um you know opposing other systemic forms of oppression and then maybe as you get

into your 40s and so on and so forth that becomes more about certain foods to which you have an aversion yeah you know i uh one of the earliest memories my father ever said to me personally was you know, if you want to have a, the easiest time in life, you know, don't avoid talking about politics, religion, or money with anybody. And that was at a very, very young age. They never really thought about it until I got older. And anytime any of those things come up, as we know, it could turn into many different things. We saw, we see what happens online, family members, unfriending each other because of beliefs and what have you. but I don't even know where I was going with this, but anyways.

But I mean, you're like, but I will throw down against beloved local condiments. Well, yeah, yeah. I think at this point we, you know, there's a lot of kids coming to the shows now and parents bringing the kids out. And I love, I love every time I go to see a punk rock thing, I love it when you have the little kid with the giant. aircraft carrier headphones on. It just rules. I love to see it every time. Yeah, you know, I think to Jesse's point, like, yeah, when you're younger, you, you know,

we always tried to keep it light. I guess that was my point from before. We always not tried to, there was enough bands flying the political flag. And, you know, we were all about a lot of those causes, but we wanted to throw a party when we, when we were on stage. We wanted to, to, for people to have fun. And, you know, we came up in a time in the 90s when, and I loved a lot of the, the grunge bands and the Seattle bands and the weird bands that came out of the 90s. Thank God for it. But

you know, we were all fans of big rock shows in the 80s and fun. And that was kind of always our spirit as a band. Can I ask you guys a bit of Pico de Gaio advice? Sure. Yes. I'm glad you brought this up, Jordan. I think I don't love it either. Sorry, go ahead. I see. I think regular listeners to the show know that I'm very partial to a particular Mexican restaurant down the street from my house. Shout out to La Beja, aka Mexican Three Stooges, because there is a full wall mural of the Three Stooges on the outside of the restaurant where they do look Latino. Beautiful. Wonderful. By the way, they replaced that mural with a new mural of the Three Stooges.

They still look Latino. Good, good, good, good. That should be a point of local pride, I think. but wonderful restaurant and like you know if if like me you have three children all of whom are autistic you never know what you're going to get out of any of them having a place where the people don't care and will always be nice to them and the food is good worth its weight in gold just absolutely worth it worth its weight in gold you know so god bless this restaurant that restaurant's not in burbank is it no this restaurant is in uh

I guess you'd say Cyprus Park here in L.A. Okay, okay. The reason I asked that, I don't know if you guys have ever been, it wasn't too far from a hotel called the Sportsman's Lodge. Uh-huh. There's a Mexican restaurant and you walk in there, I don't care if it's 10 o'clock at night or you walk in there at two in the afternoon. It's pitch black. It reminds me of like the old lounges in the 70s where, you know, people were doing, you know, beaver under the table. Right.

I don't know if you know what I'm talking about this restaurant. I could probably figure out what it was. You know, I don't know exactly the one you're talking about, but I know this kind of restaurant. It is that kind of Mexican restaurant that is so dark that your eyes take a little while to adjust. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. Like, I could hardly see the bartender from my table. And these are the ones with the insanely hot plates, too. These are like the hot plate.

Yeah. It's very true. Yeah. So you're like, I can't see and the plate is hot. This is too dangerous. So there's a dish that I order at La Meja. called Carni al-Ovada. And it's like a pork dish, you know.

It's like a pork, like a pounded pork, like a thin cutlet, heavily seasoned. And then it comes with beans and rice and pigo de gallo. Okay. I can't eat raw onions because they're a migraine trigger. Got to avoid raw onions. And so I've been going into this restaurant for 15-ish years. probably on average once a week something like that for 15 years

they know my orders they you know greet my children by name et cetera et cetera right and every time I ask for my carnal alabada with no onions no soyas because I can't eat the onions and

often it kind of comes with pico de gallo minus onions, which is to say like jalapenos and cilantro and tomatoes. Sometimes it does not come with any pico de gallo at all. I can't tell what the difference between those outcomes is, like in what situations I'm getting the other stuff besides the onions and in what situations they're cutting the whole thing out entirely. and I don't know what to do about it because I feel like it's gone on too long for me to bring it up because I would like to have the other parts.

I do like the other parts. I mean, I like onions, frankly. I just can't eat them. Have you thought about just bringing your own? That's what I should be doing. You should just have a sack of tomatoes and cilantro and jalapenos and just sling it over your shoulder. You guys mind if I do some chopping?

I'll say. Yeah, we can do, yeah, while we're talking, sure, is prepare your weekly onionless pico. Chris, when you're on the road, is there, like, stuff you make sure to eat when you're in a certain place? Yeah, you know, and now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure I won't be able to name any place, but sure. I mean, the cuisine overseas is fantastic, and I can't name a lot of restaurants, A, because a lot of them are hard to remember. But, you know, if I'm going to go overseas, I'm not eating at chain restaurants. They have to be something localized to that city. There's a place. I mean, the Burger Kings in Chile, though. Yeah, right. The onion rings down there. If you've never been to an Argentine

Arby's, you've never been to an Arby's. Yeah, but I try to, you know, you know, sample, sample the local, uh, local cuisine everywhere I go. Um, the, the, um, the, food in the U.K. has just exploded over the last 25 years. I can't say I really liked it when we first started traveling there, but the food has just gotten really good. Yeah, that, that usually, I mean, the UK, one of the greatest places and one of the most fun places to visit. I love it there. But yes, always have a little bit of a hard time finding something to eat. But yeah, I think maybe the past couple times I've been, the food has been like more fun. Yeah, it's been been a lot more fun.

And I do my best to, when we're on the road, you know, if I'm going to go get a pizza, anything, a burger, I'm not going to go to something that I can easily, easily find at home. I feel like when I'm in England, in London, there are a lot of really special foods available. Obviously, there's, you know, Indian food that's far beyond what we would be able to access on a day-to-day basis. even here in Los Angeles. There's lots of gastropubby food, you know, following the Jamie Oliver Revolution or whatever. But like the thing, the like fancy thing that I want to eat when I'm in London is I want to go to a like 300 year old restaurant and eat a mixed grill, which is just like they

wheel a cart of meats up to your table. You agree with it. And then they bring it back with salt. on it slightly cooked like that's it like there's no like it's just a truck full of like Scottish sausages and you know heritage cows of some kind the restaurant is as dark as the canteen as we were just talking about it's absurdly expensive and the only other people in there are like 84 year old numbers of parliament that is what I want and it is not the it is not the like food revolution like high-quality pub food that England is now famous for.

It was the same in 1972 and in 1772. That's probably a little organ meat on there, too, right? Oh, you bet there's some organ meat there, Jordan. I'll eat it. Why not? It's like gruel. You reminded me of a story. We did a tour of Japan in around 2007, 2008, where we specifically played a show and had a day off,

show and a day off. And we ended up spending almost three weeks there. and we went to some really small little villages and whatnot. And this one night we pull in, promoter takes us our translator to this restaurant. And we sit down at a coy pond, basically. And all the tables are sitting around these poyponds. And the cook comes out, our specific cook,

and he's standing there, and he greets us. And they hand us fishing poles with, like, little bait on it. And we put it. it in the water and we catch our fish and the chef takes the hook and the fish right there and just with a knife what are you what are you baiting the hook with um little chum i don't know

some kind of little fish that you know or some kind of fish food they travel with chum yeah we so you know yeah they're a punk rock band chum and so what am i thinking chum and pico with no onions that's what we travel right yeah you have a sack of pico with no onions and some loose chum

in case you need to fish at the restaurant but yeah you you pull the fish out and he chopped it up and it's almost still wiggling it was a fully full fresh tuna what are the places like we we learned from i think chris fairbanks uh our friend stand-up comedian chris fairbanks once told us about these like package tours that promoters put together for comics in alaska where if you're willing to go to alaska for two weeks they will get you 12 gigs in alaska in a row and like all you have to be is a competent stand-up comedian and willing to go to Alaska for two weeks because, you know, you go to a market other than Fairbanks or whatever and you, they are just excited that an entertainer is coming to visit.

You know what I mean? What are the places that less than Jake has been brought to by promoters that we might be surprised by or interested to hear about? Alaska was one of them and that was a trip. We played Alaska once. He played Anchorage and it It was crazy It took took me longer from the East Coast

To get to Anchorage than it would to get to London With all the connecting and whatnot Think here We've been brought to some crazy places We got taken to this This castle one time In the middle of Germany Where we're

That's what you want it That's where you want to play It looked like King Diamond Should have played there Or you know Some like theatrical death metal band And you guys could stretch some of the songs to seven, eight minutes, right?

I know. For the King Diamond fans. I'd love to see a package tour of maybe less than Jake and son, you know. But, you know, get into place. And it was a real, like, medieval castle. And we played inside this thing. It was like they held shows there. And you're wheeling your stuff around this mountain to get up to this castle.

We played, you know, Things like Clearfield, Pennsylvania. Where's that? No idea. I do remember when we were driving to Clearfield that we had to drive by the Little League World Series in Williamsport. So it's somewhere in the middle of nowhere. And we get there and like the night before Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister headlined. That was on the Friday.

And less than Jake was headlining on the Saturday. I couldn't tell when we got there if, you know, it was Dee's crowd left over from the 80s or what? It was like I landed in a different time dimension. So you never just slept in the parking lot and woke up when you started playing. Well, you know, I always say, and I've talked to Brian Baker from bad religion about this, you know, and he's the one I actually told me about this. I got a great life. I'm not, we're not superstars in the major leagues. But man, we're the highest AAA you can get.

We're making a living where the travel accommodations aren't too bad. We get to fish for our tuna sometimes in Japan. Things are really good, but it's hilarious because you, you, there's one day I'll be on stage at the Greenfield Festival in Switzerland. There'll be 60,000 people going crazy. And the next night, I'll be in Italy at a punk rock club with 700 kids crammed in. And it's, it's, it's another gig. It's never looked at as like, oh, this, we're not as big as we were yesterday.

How was the sound in the castle? You know, I don't remember, to be honest. That was back in 2001, so it's been a moment. I can just think of, like, the world snobbyest music guy going like, the sound in this castle sucks. Yeah. We want to leave the sound in this castle. A little echoing in here.

Yeah. Plus too many fucking Dracula's, Jordan. You've got to worry about that, too. Oh, boy. Okay, listen, I feel like I do want to now just make sure my house is clear of Dracula's. Do you want to take a little break and then come back for some more once we figure out if we have Dracula's in the house? Great idea, Jordan. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne. America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Thank you to the members of Maximum Fund for making our show possible. If you want to become a member, maximum fund.org slash join. If you're already a member, go listen to your bonus content. You've earned it. Yes. This year we're doing podcast, movie, movie podcast, a show where we watch TV and movies that have podcasting in them.

And we critique their authenticity. A lot of fun episodes there. We've got a lot of fun stuff coming up, some special guests. We're going to have fun watching podcast stuff. If you want us to cover some email us at JJGo at Maximum Fun. Talk us what you want us to watch because we're going to be watching a lot of episodes of Alex Inc. Yeah, we have Alex Inc on the on the docket. But yeah, we do want to know are there some are there some podcast media blind spots we might have? I don't want to watch that Kevin Smith Walrus movie. Yeah, I don't I don't think I want to watch that either. But here's here's something I was thinking just to get people's, you know, juices afloin. Yeah. I bet you there's been an episode of Law and Order where they've like shoehorned podcasting in. That's all ripped from the head. headline, just see. Yes.

So I, and, you know, like when you see a website on law and order, it's always like a little bit wrong, you know. Yeah. So, yeah, I would love to see what the-yahorpe.com. Sure. Yeah, it's yaworp, gweigel, you know. So if anybody knows like a law and order or procedural that had some podcasting in it, that'd be something we might could watch for the show or whatever your favorite podcast movie is. And hey, guess what? If you have a message that you want to share with our audience, you can do it by.

putting a message on the Jumbotron at maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. Ivy has done this for Brooke. Happy birthday, Berg. Thanks for being the best friend anyone could ask for. Your jokes and your kindness brighten up any day. Your art is an inspiration and it's always fun talking about our mutual obsessions or hearing about all your latest ones. I hope you and Savannah have a wonderful trip and that the show rocks your proverbial socks off. heart emoji

a heart emoji four heart emoji five so it would be like the carrot and then three heart emoji yeah like an asky art right emoji oh and yeah just so because you know

we have these messages and we're gonna uh you know and we add our personal spin on it too that's part of the value of the jumbo trot so uh oh no ivy farted yeah so at the end of that right so Brooke part of the message is just i be talking about how much they love you and so on

so forth but at the end also there's one thing that ivy wanted to add which is i farted yeah see these are good maximum fun dot org slash jumbotron you want that right you want that maximum four fun that org slash jumbotron it's like it's like when don rickles calls you a hockey puck yes exactly it's a great honor name a more iconic duo i'll wait us and don rickles sure it's the duo So the two of us and John Rickles. The three duos they called us when we played the sands in Vegas. Tonight only, the three duos. Yeah.

Jordan, you have, we got L.A. Comic-Con, not that far away. L.A. Comic-Con in September. It's going to be a ton of fun. Get your tickets for that. I might be at a certain Burbank Book Festival in October. Oh, my God. Is it the witch one? The model train one?

No, general. Oh, okay. And it's at one of the libraries. Oh, the military history one. The military history one, yes. It's going to be at one of the library branches. I'll tell you which one. The Buena Vista branch.

No, yeah. You got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah. Right there by Disney? Oh, yeah. I booked the BVB. Holy shit. I booked the VB, BVB, BV, B, B, B, B.

Shit. Yeah, so some book events coming up in the Southern California area, and everyone can go to their local comic bookstore and put Predator. black, white, and blood, number four on their poll list. You can order all, you can order the other three issues, but I have a story in number four about a cute little predator doggy. I swear to God, if you order one of the other three issues, you're dead to me. I don't want to see anybody with issues one through three.

Jordan's going to be judged on relative performance. We want the other issues to fail. Poorly, but issue four. Order them all, but especially Jordan. Well, order them all, but especially Jordan. Especially mine. Number four. Hey, Jordan, I have put so much new beautiful things into the Put This On Shop at Put This On Shop.com.

I just got back from the flea market this morning with a whole hassle of new ladies' jewelry. Okay. I'm very big, as you know, I'm very big on Mexican silver. A lot of gorgeous Mexican silver for fellas and ladies, Jordan, in the Put This On shop, in the Put This On shop, as well as our handmade baseball caps. and a thousand other decor items. There you go. Today, Jordan, I bought a brio loom. Brio like the trains?

Yeah, but it's a loom. I love my brio trains as a child. I know. They're amazing. Wait until you start in on this loom. You're going to be weaving like crazy. A lot of, too many looms out there are not made by peaceful wooden swedes. Right.

That's my problem with looms. Anyway, put this on shop.com is the place to go whether you need a, some decor or a jewel or a special gift or something dumb. There's a few dumb things still in there, you know? I don't know. I think we ran out of Yo MTV Raps cards, but there's some bullshit still in there. Oh, we got those vintage condoms. There you go.

Yeah, why is left a box of vintage condoms at put this on shop.com? Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Krista Makes from Less Than Jake, experimental weirdo. Sure. Tell us a little bit about some of the experiments you've run away.

Human animal hybrids? No, I was just looking at my computer. I got this new plug-in, and it's called experimental so I'm going to get into that later and figure out what it's going to do to my my music we'll see there's nothing Jordan there's nothing a professional musician loves like a plug-in yeah yeah it gets us fired up hopefully it can uh you know stretch out some of these songs a year's to seven eight minutes so you can open for king diamond yeah i didn't know if you were going to know who king diamond was oh we're on it yeah long songs right am i right oh yeah absolutely is that pull right

Long songs, yeah. I only have a little bit of knowledge, and one of them is long songs, so I'm glad that tracked. I don't need a bunch of fucking Prague rock fans on my ass. Oh, boy, that's the last thing I need. Yeah. We have a, so we have a segment on the show, Jordan. We have a lot of, let me explain this to you, Chris.

We're really creative guys who come up with a lot of ideas. So sometimes, sometimes when we play a call from a listener, it might sound like they just wanted to tell us about something. And then at the end of it, they said, and this is for your segment, blah, blah, blah, to justify why they called in just to tell us something. Okay. Actually, we think of all the segments because we put a lot of work into our show. We don't.

And we're really creative. So this is an example of that, Chris, just so you know. All right. And I'll tell you what segment it is afterwards after they say what segment they called in for, even though we did think of it and we know what it is. We just so you know. We don't. We don't.

We don't. Yeah, we do. It's fine. We do. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, Stephen, and guest. This is Christy from Denver. I'm calling for your long-running segment. Strangest thing I've found inside another thing. So I walk my dog the same route most days, and I recently saw that there was this discarded squishmallow plushy by the side of the trail, and it was, like, covered in mud, like, wasn't looking good. And I just noticed it, but then we walked by it several days.

in a row and I decided on impulse to just grab it and see if I could rehabilitate it. So I took it home and I threw it in my washer on super high heat and then I scrubbed it a huge amount and rinsed it a lot and there were some tiny holes I amended and it was looking pretty good and I was feeling pretty proud of myself but I set it down on a hard surface and I heard this little like clunk which it's not supposed to do and I felt around and I realized there was an object inside and the squish mellow and so I had to kind of wiggle it out and there was a USB drive in there so I don't know you know your advice what do I do with that because I'm desperate to know what on earth is on this mysterious USB drive but I can't just plug that into my computer because

what if it has a virus on it and maybe the washer killed it but it might not have so I'm so confused so curious all right love you guys bye this is the most exciting thing that's happened on Jordan Jessica in years. It is. And I can really relate because every third Labibu I buy is full of heroin. That's why they're so expensive, I guess. You know a pretty good hit rate on Lububu's, Jordan.

Yeah, yeah. I have spent over $50,000. Are you buying them from the store at the Hilton? Oh, yeah. Listen, if you're a Diamond member, there will be a Labibu waiting in your room. Austin, it will be filled with heroin. I mean, the answer here is it's obviously a plant

from the Cuban government. But that doesn't mean... Yes, obviously. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't, you'd plug in the USB drive. Like, will malware take over your computer and feed the surviving Castro your financial information? Yes, of course. Malware, more like mallowware?

Yes. Thank you, George Malo's. Yeah, sure. I don't know. That's just called living. That's just called living. My, and let me know if I'm, if it was fucked up of me to think. this, but my first thought was public library. Go to the public library and see what's on it, right?

That's why they have the same thought. I had exactly the same thought. I was also thinking about the fact that my 11-year-old Scarlet has these squish mallows, including a one that's just truly gargantuan. Do you know what these squish mallows are? I, yes, I like them. I have, I often like to touch them in the right aid. There's also a big pile of them in the right aid. They are very fun to touch. I've also read some of their tags, and some of them have weird, complicated backstories. Anyway, this is my interaction with Squishmallows. Yeah.

I think my children love Squishmallows for the same reasons that you do, Jordan. Complicated backstories. Complicated backstories slash oppressing sensory needs. Oh, yeah. And so Scarlett has, I don't know, six of these things, one of which is truly enormous. And we've been talking about moving out of the country lately. And one of the things that, first of all, Grace, my daughter told me she will not leave the country without her 3D TV. Okay.

Because she's concerned that they don't have 3D TVs in Mexico. I explained to her they don't have 3D TVs in the United States either, at least since 2007. But that she's aware of that. That's the concern. And then Scarlett told me that she can't go to another country without all. the squish mallows. And so I'm literally, yeah, like there's, if you live in, I don't know if they have these in Tennessee, Chris, but here in Los Angeles, there's this kind of store called a pocketeria

or sometimes multiservasios or multi-service store, right? Where there's like a notary and there's like a person who fills out your tax forms and all this different stuff. And one of the things that they'll do is they have these big boxes and they'll have a pyramid shaped stack of boxes of different sizes with a purse. on each one. And that's the cost of mailing it to either Mexico or a particular country in Central America, right? Like it'll be like a Honduran store and they also sell Honduran soft drinks and they have, you can mail boxes to Honduras this way. And so I am at this point now

where I have to consider if I am going to spend $350 to mail six squish mallows and a 3D television to Mexico. And like, I don't know if I have a choice. I think I might not. Chris, I feel like there were less than Jake toys at one point in action figures, right? Is this a merch item you guys sold before? That's correct. I'm looking at them up here.

I got into my studio down here. There's a bunch of them. We made a cereal box at one point. We paired up with Funco and made bobbleheads at some point. No, that's the dream. a bobblehead. Yeah, so we've, we've done stuff like that. I'm very familiar with squish mellows.

My daughter has like the six foot one that she sleeps with, among other ones. And then what was the Laboooo-that's driving me absolutely crazy. I had to bring some Labuboos home from my last tour for my eight and seven-year-old. So I'm right there with you, Jesse. I feel your pain. Are you guys familiar with long Furbys? I know, I know what a Furby is, but I don't know what a long furby is. but I don't know what a long Furby is.

Okay, so. Sounds upsetting. It sounds, yeah, a little suspect. Yeah. So this is a community of people who purchase Furbies. And I don't think they still make Furbies. I think at some point there was like retro Furbies being made. I don't know if they still are being made.

But they purchase Furbies. And, you know, like for anybody who's not, it wasn't in the Furby demographic, there's these little like, They're these little electronic plush toys that blink and make funny noises and respond to you doing stuff to them and talking to them that were like the hottest toy ever 25 or so years ago, right? 25-ish years ago. It sounds about right. And long Furby makers take a Furby and then they cut open the Furby. They cut out its robot guts and sometimes its face.

It's a living thing. How could they? What kind of psycho do you have to be to I don't know. Chris is the one running these weird experiments. Why are you asking me? Yeah. So they take these Furbys,

they cut them off, they remove their legs, and then they extend them. Mm-hmm. In various ways. Yes. So a Furby, it's still alive, it still looks and talks to you.

It wishes it was dead. It begs for death. But it'll be like, it'll be like four feet long. And it's like, uh, it's like for people who are into both crafting and upsetting others. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like people will like, sometimes they're like crocheted. Sometimes they're just sewn.

Wow. Sometimes they'll put other animals in the extension. I don't want to see this, but someone's done Furby. centipede, right? Someone's done it. That seems likely. On the topic of retro, retro toys at Comic-Con this year, I had a panel at 10 a.m. And I was a little bit like nervous about it, because I'm like, yeah, 10, he's going to show up this thing at 10 a.m. You know? And so I roll up to the room where the panel is supposed to be. There's a little line. I'm like, oh, okay, we got a little line. This is nice. All right. 10 a.m. people showed up.

I learned later that it was not for us, but people were lined up to have their picture made with a giant Tomogachi. I shared a Long Furby picture in the chat here. Yeah, let's check out the chat here. Boy, that is upsetting. The woman who has made the Long Furby is very beautiful. I'm... Yeah, it's weird to feel vaguely horny about this. Wow.

Yeah. That's a confusing feeling I'm having. I've also, I also shared with you a picture of some sort of more creative long Furby. So the one that we shared is just mostly long. And then there's also some like, uh, that are more dystopian or upsetting. I shared some there that have doll legs.

Mm-hmm. Um, like human doll legs. like Barbie legs. Chris, I sincerely hope that no one has done this to any less than Jake action figures. No, I mean, yeah, I don't, not that I have seen. This one is, what is that like a, almost looks like a lobster or a crab or something. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's broadly speaking, I would say it's God forsaken. Yeah, it should not be.

I think the only thing it says is, you know, you can beg for death and that's it. It begs for death. Oh yeah That was intentional I get it Oh This flung Furby's name is Pog champ

Well cool Sorry you have to exist Pog champ Steven we got another We got another call on the hopper We got a momentous occasion When something momentous happens to you Give us a call

206-984 for fun Or just send us a voice memo JJGo at maximum fun.org As has this person Hi, J.J. Go. I have a momentious occasion for you. I was listening to old three bean salad episodes because I love lukewarm comedy venture podcasts and Mike Wozniak on Taskmaster. And they read out an listener email from Lama, fellow Max Funster and friend of J.J.H. Oh, bollocking them about birds because we're all part of a small but dedicated group of comedy weirdos. Love the show. Bye. Thank you for plugging our t-shirts available at maxfundstore.com that's a I am part of a small but dedicated group of weirdos. Yes, yes.

Enthusiasmatic group of weirdos, enthusiastic group of weirdos. Yeah, but enthusiastic. There you go. Yes, Chris, fitting of you to call yourself the experimental weird. Yeah, I was going to say, who knew? It leads us right into a beautiful t-shirt plug. We appreciate it at maxfund store.com. Yeah, shout out to our friend Ben Partridge, who in addition to his wonderful MaxFund

show, the Beef and Dairy Network also hosts three beef and dairy. bean salad, which is a very funny show, a very funny, very, very charming show. And also, uh, thank you to people who are calling in to us from central German castles. Yes, sure. Hopefully you have your less than Jake tickets. I don't think anyone has ever called into Jordan, Jesse, go from a castle. Oh, I don't know. Let's, let's try and make that happen.

If you're out there, 206, 984, fun. Get your ass in a castle. call us we'd like a picture to prove you're in the castle a tasteful one or you know

do like whatever the Dracula equivalent of going the stars at night are big and bright and then the Dracula's all go

right yes Dracula's love to do that Dracula's live in castles there you go or whatever clap clap clap yeah something like that something along those lines

lines, Jordan, something along those lines. What would you elongate if you had the opportunity to elongate anything? Ooh, wonderful question. Thanks, Jordan. Probably my diamond status. Chris, on the topic of these kind of furbies that people have butchered, do people make less than Jake's stuff themselves? There's like the stuff that you sell, but do people like make their own t-shirts and

stuff. Yeah, they make their own t-shirts. They make their own dresses. They'll make us a little beaded bracelets. They make us necklaces. They make us little dolls. I have one back here of me, like a little pincushion kind of doll, cards, you name it. It's pretty, pretty cool. I never thought I would, you know, ever have people give me something because they knew my band. Yeah. You know, I have been given a couple of like friendship bracelets. It's in the like kind of in the like Taylor Swift way. Yeah. I fucking love it.

I love it. It's like getting the little friendship bracelet that someone made and brought for you is so cool. Yeah. One time when we were on Judge John Hodgman tour, we had this family, like a hipster family, where they had had an antique shop or something. And their child who was an adult 11-year-old had put together little tiny boxes of, like antique ding-dongs that represented their relationship with the Judge John Hodgman podcast and normally I hate to say it but normally unless you bring me something that I can consume at that moment such as three chocolate chip cookies tab of ecstasy if you bring

me something I may have to just put it in the trash in my hotel room because I don't have any room in my luggage to carry it to the next place. And I feel bad about that. But it's just the reality of touring. But that little box of stuff I kept. And every time I look at it, it's in my closet. And every time I look at it, I think about whether that little child has cursed me. I mean, Chris, it sounds like you with that pin cushion of yourself, you can curse yourself anytime you want. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Things are going too well. When I got that pin cushion, that was the exact thought of, you know, does the other person have another one? Am I going to, like, get stuck in the middle of the night?

But that luckily, luckily never happened. Yeah. We do, we are kind of approaching, approaching the point in the show where we need to take another break. I do, I do feel like we need to address a toilet paper gun before we take a break. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you, yeah. Part of, you know, seeing less than Jake, you don't, you're not just getting this great music, but you're getting, you're getting a show, you know.

You're getting, you're getting, you're getting pirate techniques. You're getting a guy. in an ET mask who moons the audience. This happened the first time I saw it. Yes. I don't know if that was an official guy with the band, but it happened. It was great. Part of something you guys do is have someone with a roll of toilet paper attached to, I believe, a leaf blower.

Yes. Blast the audience with toilet paper. Yeah. We were in Boston years ago playing a show with Rancid. We had played a, it was December of 98. And after the show, we went down the road to have. have some drinks, and there was a band playing. I don't know what they were called, but they were dressed up as clowns, and at some point,

the singer clown. But they're a posse of them? Were they acting kind of insane? You know, this was before Slipknot and the Juggalo's. So, you know, I think these guys, these guys were, uh, were pioneers. Yeah, pioneers, blazing the trail. I don't mean to interrupt the story, but can I just say, I also don't want to get too political, but I'm pretty upset about J.D. Vance's recent comments on suspending

the insane clown posse comitatis act. Did that make sense? Jesse, I don't think it did. I want a yes, and you so bad. I don't know what this is. It's okay. I've taken a lot of Paxelavids. So go ahead, Chris.

Oh, I don't even. Okay, you're in Boston. You see a clown band. No, this, this, this, vice president, J.D. Vance. Yeah, J.D. Vance comes out. Um, he was the lead clown. But yeah, this clown comes out and, uh, he has a leaf blower with a paint roller attached to the end of it, probably duct taped.

Uh, at some point, we, we started zip tying them around. But, uh, the, the paint roller is affixed to the blower and there's toilet paper. So when you turn the blower on, the toilet paper goes. And we thought, that's genius. And we stole their thing and never saw anybody else to do it besides them. That's amazing. How do you travel with these things? They're just, like I said, leaf blowers.

So they just go in the trailer with everything else. They just get tossed back there. And it's so... It's not the size of a guitar, right? You know, so if you're throwing in guitars, a couple of leaf blowers, not that. It's funny you should say that because the leaf blowers have never been left behind, but our sacks has been left behind before. Guitars have been left behind.

Yeah. But the leaf blowers always seem to make it. Anyway, when I saw you in San Diego, you were nice enough to let me blast the crowd with the toilet paper. It was a real thrill. I love doing it. How does the, how does the toilet blaster get chosen? Yeah, that's, yeah, the process. What is the selection process?

You know, I have leukemia. And I made a wish. I shouldn't laugh at that as hard. I'm laughing. You kind of made a wish. I don't know. Yeah, no, I did. You made a wish.

I was introduced to you through a friend who, who manages the suicide machines, a band that we were out with. And you came out and I knew you to this podcast. You said you'd like to have me on your show. I was excited and you were as good as a candidate as anybody to shoot the paper guns. Well, thank you. It was a real thrill. I think the crowd, the crowd went wild.

It was a lot of fun. And obviously, yeah, you know, you're one of my favorite bands ever and it's very cool to do. So thank you. Thank you. I saw a picture of this. And, you know, Jordan, I've known you for 25. years and this was the best picture of you I've ever seen and the happiest I've ever seen you true on both accounts I'm going to start using it for my professional headshot

like it was I saw I got so excited by this picture I was like this is the best like this is Jordan like fucking becoming a butterfly sure yeah Yeah, like an anime character who powered up recently. Yeah, a real thrill. Thank you for later. We'll put the, we'll put the photo in the social media for this episode. So everybody can check it out. Sure.

Yeah, you know, if you're around, if you're less than Jake come to your town, go see him, get blasted with toilet paper. Yeah. Or, I mean, put in an application to blast toilet paper. Sure, yeah. Listen, find Chris on LinkedIn. Yeah, go to Indeed and submit your CV. Oh, also, you have car wash guys, too, right?

You have the inflatable car wash guys. Yeah, we do. Yeah, the, where do you get those? The grand opening guys. Yeah, we found those online. We found us a place that did custom ones, and we had them kind of made after our little, you know, blonde Pez kid mascot. And, yeah, those are fun.

And I sometimes still forget when those inflatables will go up. I'll be like rocking out. And I'm like, why is the audience screaming all of a sudden? I know it's not because I all of a sudden got better looking in the last 30 seconds. You know, I look back and those damn things are flying. It's because I think there's an RV sale. Exactly. Yeah.

Two for one at Arbys. There is an element to this where I feel like you could go to, there's got to be like in downtown Los Angeles. there's got to be a district, a block at least, that sells insane promotional bullshit where less than Jake could really go to town. Oh, gosh. Yeah. I mean, anything like the Halloween stores and the party cities, when those pop up were always in them and thrift stores are great.

And that's where all this was bore out of years ago was we were touring around in the van. It's before we had, you know, social media and, you know, internet at our fingertips. And we were bored. He'd be like, okay, what's next to the punk rock club and the bad part of town? Okay, there's the check cashing place. There's the liquor store. Oh, there's a thrift store. And we'd go in there and kill time.

My all-ages punk rock venue as a kid was definitely in a strip mall next to a check cashing place. And at St. Vincent's, and St. Vincent's thrift store. Where was that at? That's a chain reaction down there in Anahe. Oh, yeah. Yeah, nice. Good, good all-ages venue. Still there, I think.

Yes, it is. Well, hey, let's do this. Stephen, can you go online and price inflatable, inflatable car wash guys in case we want to get some for the next tour, and then we can come back and wrap it up with Chris? Yeah, we're for our Santa Barbara booze cruise. Oh, yeah, that's right. Are you doing a Santa Barbara booze cruise? I think Ventura we were talking about, but I would do Santa Barbara, too. So, yeah.

Yeah, there you go. We'll be back in just a second with more information on Jordan Jessica. I'm Emily Fleming. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Matt Lee. We are real comedy writers. Real friends. And real cheap skates.

On every episode of our podcast free with ads, we ask, why pay for expensive streaming services when you can get free movies from apps with weird names? Each week, we review the freest movies the internet has to offer. Classics like Pride and Prejudice. Cult classics like Point Break. And holy shit, what did I just watch classics like Teen Wills? Tune in every week as we take a deep dive into the internet's bargain bin

Every Tuesday on maximum fun.org or your favorite pod place The Flop House is a podcast where we watch a bad movie And then we talk about it Guys, how does he poop? Well, he's not that regular, but as he's gotten older He has two cloacas, one under each arm No, I'm just looking forward to you going through the other ways in which Wild Wild West is historically inaccurate.

You know how much movies cost nowadays when you add in your popped corn and your bagel bites and your cheese critters? You can't go wrong with a Henry Cattle Mustache. Here at Henry Cattle Mustache is the only supplier. The Flop House. New episodes every Saturday. Find it at maximum fun.org. It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne. America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Hey, it's Krista Bakes from Less Than Jake, Experimental Weirdo. Chris, tell me about your podcast. Who are you talking to on your podcast? Oh, geez. I'm upwards of 300 episodes.

I've been at it for about five and a half years. June 1st or June 2nd of 2020 was the first episode. And we've had one every Monday since then. I've had D. Snyder, as we talked about earlier. John Oates from Holland Oates. I had David Page, the keyboardist from Toe. to talk about Africa. I've had...

Wait, Chris, I have a question about John Oates from Hollen Oates. Yeah. I once interviewed Daryl Hall on my public radio program. He was kind of pissy about Holland Oates in a very practiced way, which is to say, he was very complimentary of John Oates' rhythm guitar playing, which feels like, the rudest thing you could say about someone, irrespective of whether they are genuinely a very good rhythm guitar player, which I imagine John Oates probably is a genuinely great rhythm guitar player. And then the other thing that Daryl Hall was pissy about, Daryl Hall was not pissy in general, in general, very gracious.

And obviously, I, maybe not obviously, but I genuinely love Holland Oates and think they're wonderful. But he was very pissy about people of calling them Holland Oates. They wanted to be very clear that they're Daryl Hall and John Oates, not Hall in Oates. Yeah, I've heard that. I've seen that. You know, it's kind of like Lennon McCartney, Jagger and Richards, you know, Tyler and Perry, any of the great songwriting team. Sure.

There's got to be, you know, if you were to take one aside, you know, I'll go on the record now and say that, you know, I'm the better songwriter than our bass player, Roger. But he's going to tell you he's the better songwriter. So see? I'm a better songwriter That's going to get me in trouble And I think Jesse's wonderful Yeah I think Jordan's a great rhythm guitar player

Thank you I am I keep the beat Yeah that's Daryl Hall's way of completely minimizing you know John's contribution He's good at rhythm guitar It's like yeah he's good at the shaker You know

How did you book D. Snyder Did you run into D. Snyder Or did you go to D.Snyder.com and call his management? I met D. Snyder back in the summer of 98. He was doing this movie called Strangeland. And it was like this horror theme movie. And we were on Capitol records at the time.

And the publicist at Capitol had gotten me somehow to interview D. Snyder about the movie for Details Magazine. So that was when I first met him. I saw him in a club a couple years later. He remembered who I was, ran into him in New Jersey. at a warp tour in probably 2011. And then I was in the airport in Pittsburgh in 2018. And I ran into him there by chance. He had played a show the night before, and he was leaving.

So we certainly have crossed paths over the years. And when we reached out to his publicist, I just said less than Jake. And he was very, very quick to get back. This is the rock and roll equivalent of unlikely animal friendships calendars. Duck riding a capybara. Yeah. The podcast is fantastic, and it is, like, so fun to hear you talk with other, like, punk musicians and, like, kind of talk seriously about songwriting because I feel like, you know, when those guys get interviewed, like, you know, they just want to talk about, like, what's the worst fight you ever been in? You know, they want to talk about that stuff. But it's so cool to just talk to, like, Joe Escalante about what it was like to write oi to the world. You know, I, it's such a cool conversation. But I also do love hearing you, like, talk to, yeah, like, John Oates, like someone. who is, you know, perhaps couldn't be farther away from punk rock. Yeah, well, you know, it's funny, you know, when you guys picked up today and we started

recording this, it's like, and I'm not saying this because you're here and you're going to laugh at me and probably make a joke of this, but there's a professionalism and a flow that you guys have that, you know, you're off the cuff, okay? My stuff's all edited. I mean, I have, you know, notes that I meticulously go through. I have a topic and I have something that I stick with. And that was important for me, for my show, because doing what you guys do, it's just like a whole other, it's a whole different thing. So kudos to you guys for just having a free form.

That's, that's awesome. Well, Stephen's going to add some auto tune. Yeah, Stephen does a lot. Stephen does a lot of work anticipating what you're going to say. That allows us to script the rest of it. Yeah. Re-record around it. Yeah, totally.

Exactly. So if you actually, if you listen to this episode in the final cut, you will actually hear in Instead of your voice, the voice of Liam Neeson. I love that enough to come in and retract stuff for us. I love that. As long as it's not as bad as the naked gun, I did see the remake the other day. Oh, no. Okay.

I was pro. Disagree. Loved it. You loved it. You know, reasonable people can disagree about the naked gun reboot. Okay. Fair enough, fair enough. As long as we have our facts straight with Pico de Gaio.

Yeah. As long as we all agree about police squad. I won't, I can't accept anyone telling me that police squad isn't great. But the new one, sure. Everyone, everyone can have their own opinion about that. What's the least punk rock guest who has been on your show, Chris? The least punk rock. Oh, geez.

Ever had L. DeBarge. No, I didn't have L. DeBarge. I did have, and this isn't a knock against him because he came from a punk rock backguard. I had Ian recently. He was the keyboardist in EMF. that song, Unbelievable. So, yeah. Oh, wow.

I wouldn't necessarily consider that punk rock, but what a great song. That's amazing. I would love for you to do an entire jock jam series, Chris. It's, yeah, it's almost. Can you get the Venga boys? Yeah. Let's get the Baja men on your show. Yeah, forget Yacht Rock.

We're going to go with, I like this theme better. Jock Jam. Jat Rock Renaissance. That's old news. Yeah, it is old. Yeah. That's so 20. 2018, 2019.

Thank you. Thank you. I know. Jordan, I feel like if we did a podcast called the history of jock jams and it was like a reported podcast about jock jams, that would make us rich. Yeah. Why are we doing this podcast? I don't know. I don't want to sell out, man.

You know what? Stephen, delete the back catalog. We're all just, I'm on. We're starting over. Jams from now on. Yeah. Before we go, Stephen, have you priced inflatable car wash guys? What are we dropping on one of these things?

All right. So it is very strange. I'm just looking on Amazon. And there's this price that's 239. What height would you guess that would be for one of these inflatable feet? You know, what I would like to have is like a 12 footer, like a big hitter. You know what I mean? You know, I look bigans.

Yes, I do. I don't mind to be wide. Take up the whole stage. Yeah. People are just there to see. see the guy there's there to see the inflatable guy you guys can play behind the guy what's weird is that there's two different ones for two 30 239 one is 10 foot and one is 20 so i don't know is is the quality different or it looks kind of the same i mean it's like vaguely the same like blue

with yellow hands and stuff but i don't know if maybe one's just like made out of cheaper i'm not sure i'm not sure ours are 20 foot i know that and we got two of them and and from what i remember they were around 600 bucks for both of them. But that's a custom job, Chris. We don't need a, we don't have our own Pez boy. True, true. But again, regard, let's say it was a couple

when people see this, okay, they fake like, and Jordan used the term production earlier, okay, like production to me is like you know, Motley crew, Metallica, pyro stuff blowing up, drum sets flying around the arena, okay, these things cost

cost us $600, okay, but anyway you have a you have a real helicopter on stage though right or is that miss sigon now that i say it i think it might be miss sigon but either way i put a link to one of them and yeah it's 239 it's 20 foot tall it seems to have carwash already printed on it well that's nice there's one that's the one that says smoke shop on it hell yeah bro uh stephen are any of these and i mean this is obviously something that's important to us that might be less important to some other people who are purchasing them, but are any of these marine grade?

Ooh, I mean, it looks like there's one that's a little bit more expensive, but it just says, oh, this is weatherproof. Okay. Great. So, yeah, this one should be good. But this one's cheaper. Oh, it's only 10 foot. All right.

Okay. Well, that's why. Planning continues for the Jordan Jesse Go booze cruise that we may or may not do. Chris, it's been a joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us on Jordan Jesse Go. Hey, thanks for having me on. It's been my pleasure. Krista makes a podcast, very, very good podcast. Less than Jake, very, very good band. Again, if they're coming to your town, see them, see them. You'll have the time of your life.

Our program is produced by Stephen Ray Morris. Our theme music is Love You by the free design. Our thanks to the free design and Light in the Attic Records for letting us use that for low these many years. You go buy one of their albums so they get paid off of that generosity. You can find us on Reddit at are slash maximum fun you can also find us on blue sky jordan jessie go you can find us on instagram jordan jessie go pod at facebook facebook dot com slash jordan jessie go you can find jordan and me on instagram at jessie thorne very famous at jordan david morris make sure to follow us in all of those places and please for god's sake call us from a castle we'll talk to you next time on jordan jessie go Love you, love you, love you, love you.