Jordan, Jesse, GO! - The Spago Crew, with Vivian Martínez

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

On this week's episode, we welcome comedian, Vivian Martínez, to chat about brujeria stores, negative Airbnb experiences, doing the ‘time warp,’ and more!Check out what Vivian is up to!See Vivian on this Valentine’s Day benefit show (supporting recovery from the fires in Los Angeles)!Want your Capybara roasted? Send to our Instagram!#RoastMyCapyJustice for migrants. Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado this holiday season.Pre-order Jordan's Godzilla vs. Los Angeles comic to benefit Wildfire Relief Charity! Pre-order Jordan's Spider-man comic! Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Go see Free With Ads and Judge John Hodgman LIVE at SF Sketchfest!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don’t miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Goh on America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. How are you, my friend? I'm okay. I am coming to you from just the archetypal janky Airbnb. Oh really? Yes, you know, we're like, you try and open a cabinet

and it bangs into the handle of another cabinet because like the people who turned the home into an Airbnb don't really give a fuck and the, someone has carved out a notch in the wall for the shower curtain. Instead of just getting another shower curtain, they've like drilled a notch in the wall for the shower curtain. Instead of just getting another shower curtain, they've like drilled a hole in the wall. Wait, sorry. What does the why does the shower curtain need a hole in the wall? Oh, I guess the rod. So they've got they got a rod for the shower when they were turning this home into an Airbnb.

Right. And it wasn't the right size. So instead of like going back and getting another one, they've just kind of banged a little hole in the wall and shoved it in. Oh, good. Yeah. Congratulations on that, Jordan. That's really exciting.

Thank you. Yeah, it's really nice. I'm hoping for some weird checkout rules like you know Strip the beds, but don't take the pillowcases off the pillows Turn the dimmers to half turn the dimmers the light dimmers down to half or we charge you six hundred dollars I'm looking forward to that one time. I I'm a great Airbnb customer,

renter, whatever. I got nothing but great reviews in my Airbnb history. You know what I mean? Five stars? Oh, absolutely. I mean, Jordan, you've stayed with me in an Airbnb before. You know, you are. You know, we respect the space. One time I got a negative review and this is what happened. I was staying in London, England and it was the kind of Airbnb that somebody's extra room it wasn't okay its own place right and I have had like, when I was in Copenhagen, Denmark, I did that, had a very nice time was very grateful to have some people around that were Danes. Yeah. For example, tell me how to operate Dana's showers, which are weird. Yeah, showers are

all of the bathroom. Yeah, I feel like that's that's the like, that was like the vision of Airbnb, right? It's like, you know, it's not a hotel, but you're staying with real people in a real neighborhood and it's an actual house. And like now it is kind of just the thing it is where a cabal has bought some property and filled it with- Some guys with shaved heads. Yeah. And yeah, they for some reason only purchased knobs that bang into other knobs.

But yeah, I've had some lovely experiences in that too. I think oftentimes I've spoken fondly of my trip to Austin where the guy who rented the room to me called me Weary Traveler. Welcome home, Weary Traveler, he said. Indeed. And he was going to be on a yoga retreat with his girlfriend, but they got into a fight and he came back early and I knew he had come back early because his golden retriever with a bandana got in bed with me. I had a similar experience at an Airbnb in Austin, someone's backyard. It was an older

slightly hippy-ish woman who may have called me weary traveler. And the whole time I was staying there, she was very nice to me and I got the impression she wanted to fuck. Ooh, okay. But that's not- What, now what was- Jordan, no. Jordan, that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about the time I got a negative Airbnb review.

Okay, sorry. It was in London, England. It was like a 30-ish year old sort of nerdy gay guy whose house was mostly books about James Bond. I don't know if that gives you any kind of picture of this dude, but he was like, it was not James Bond books, not Ian Fleming. Like books about James Bond, the idea, you know, art books of James Bond, this kind of thing. And he seemed a little unhappy to have me there, but it was fine. I didn't think something was wrong. And we had a show, maybe you and I had a show, but I had a show. And I let him know, you know, I'll

be home a little on the late side, probably around midnight. You know, it's not like I'll go out afterwards. I'm me. I'll be home a little on the late side. I'll let myself in, whatever. He said, OK, just make sure to turn the lights out in the hallway. Now, here's the thing. The light switch in the lights out in the hallway. Now here's the thing, the light switch in

the hallway was by the door and my room was way down the hallway. Mm-hmm. So what I hear is when I got inside- I can hear the excuse- When I got inside- Percolating in your throat the- Jordan, I turned the light on in the hallway when I got inside, walked down the hallway to my room and went inside, leaving the light on because it was the only reasonable thing

to do. He sent me a flurry of text messages the next day. A flurry, you say? Completely out of his gourd and raged that I had left the hall. He's like the one thing I asked you to do. Is this like a ghost in there that I let out? Like, what is the problem here? What happened? And then now my mother's soul could not ascend. And then I got to the airport. How was I supposed to know? I. And then I got to the airport. How was I supposed to know? I know.

Then I got to the airport and I realized the keys were still in my pocket. Oh my god. So I literally I went to a special I got out of the security line and went to a special fucking Heathrow Airport fucking post office where you mail your knife to yourself if you're in the line you know what I mean right and fucking mailed it to him texted him a thousand apologies said it'll be there in a couple of days fucking negative review he's never come back never come back he didn't say never come back he said never come back oh my gosh back. He didn't say never come back? He said never come back.

Oh my gosh. Is that still on your profile? Like can other people? I think it probably is. Like I think if we get booked at a podcast festival somewhere, you know, in Philadelphia and we rent an Airbnb, what's going to happen is they are going to see that review and say no to Jordan, Jesse Goh, Jesse Thorne and Jordan Morris. I mean the podcasting hall of Fame Jordan I did I had my I also have one negative Airbnb

review to my name I think I've told this story on the pod before so apologies for the repeat story but you know we're talking Airbnb so you know you fucking deal with it right you listen this podcast you're fine with repeat stories you know Jordan I'm from San Francisco yeah uh-huh know. Yep. You mentioned it. You mentioned it. Mission District in San Francisco. You mentioned it. Our opinions about burritos. Sure, sure, sure. And so I got one negative review once, and this is kind of in the days of the

like sharing someone's room. And basically, they didn't say as much, but the review was letting me me know that they had heard me fucking. Now we specifically specified no guests and I could tell that the user had had a guest over at a, you know, anyway, that was the thing. And so I deleted the profile and made a new one with a different email. So now I have very clean five star Jordan is a lovely boy type reviews but Do you always bring an apple for your host? I do and I shine it I shine it on my shirt. I just I call them teacher too. Thank you for the house teacher I say.

I have never I have not spoken to someone I've rented an Airbnb from you just kind of key into the thing and yeah, anyway. Yeah. And then you just fucking hope that when you sit in the IKEA chair, it doesn't break underneath you. Sure. Our guest on the program is a stand up comedian from right here in Los Angeles. She is among other things, opened with friends of Jordan Jesse Goh, Maria Bamford and Nick Thune. I had a nice little Instagram message

to our friend Nick Thune the other day, Jordan. He's doing well. What did it say? It said never come back. It just said never come back. Exactly. I just was thinking of Nick Thune. How are you doing, buddy? It's fun to think of Thune. Nice to think of Thune. Very handsome, plays the guitar.

Our guest, also handsome. We'll find out if she plays the guitar. Vivian Martinez. Hi, Vivian. How are you? Strum. What if I just did a solid G chord right there? Ooh, love a G.

Love a G. You have behind you where you are recording right now some kind of electric piano. You know, I was like, if it's in the shot, they're going to bring it up, so you better have some receipts here, Vivian. I can play the piano. And I taught myself, but that's not mine. Claire Doon Loon. Claire Duh Loon! Hard and Saul! Play Hard and Saul!

For those of you listening, who is most of you, Fivina is making a piano playing goblin face. And sound. What is your, what is your, of your self-taught pieces, what is your like, what is your most proud achievement? What do you like, could you like break it out at a party or something? Oh girl, okay, so you know the peanuts, the classic, da da da, ba ba ba, ba da. Oh yeah, sure sure. It's a very simple two hand, because you're just going, ba ba ba ba because you're just going, on one hand, you know?

That does seem simple. Right? You can impress people if you can do two hands at once on a piano. And it might be one of the- I mean- I can see it being one of those things where you realize, oh, someone's playing the piano, and then you realize it's that, and you freak the fuck out. Right?

Yeah. You remember the dances. It's so nostalgic. You start doing a dance that's just two simple motions over and over again. Just, you do a dance which is just your lower body being enveloped in a cloud of dust. Can't see what's happening in there.

Vivian, were you, are you having a little drink while we record? Do I see a glass of white wine? Yes, having a little. Spot on. Gold star. I also noticed, Vivian, that when Jordan described his loud fucking, you thoughtfully took a pull from a vape.

Yeah! You know, I wanted to- I don't know that I described it. I mentioned that it happened. I didn't describe it. Oh, no. We cut out like- That's why people have to subscribe to my OnlyFans. You know I wanted to... I don't know that I described it. I mentioned that it happened. I didn't describe it.

Oh no, we cut out like... That's why people have to subscribe to my OnlyFans. Yeah. Yeah, there's four minutes of slurping noises that we edited out. He described it to a T. Yes. Okay, he's lying. He described it in depth.

He's what it sounded like. He was giving us millimetres. Glurp, glurp, Jordan's fucking. Oh my gosh. No, honestly, I just thought that that's such a funny comment. He's like, I don't know what you're doing in there. One star. Like what a creepy review to give. Right.

Yeah. I don't like the book you were reading, One Star. Yeah, it seems like if you are like a fuss pot, and I'll go ahead and say that I think I flagrantly broke the rules. I think I, you know, probably, you know, should have known better or known it was coming anyway. But Jesse, I think your mistake was kind of, you know, an honest one. And it seems like maybe this guy was too much of a fuss pot to be an Airbnb host seems like you maybe know that about yourself, you know, before you if you want things just so maybe Airbnb not the passive income for you.

This guy wants to share the world of bond with the world. Actually, I'll tell you what it now occurs to me that when I was when he was showing me around when I got there I said oh really interested in James Bond huh and uh he was like yes and I remember being like who's mad about me asking them about their okay well I guess I remember being like who's mad about me asking them about their okay. Well, I guess I guess we just won't talk about it then I want to know about the poster situation were there posters as well Yeah, they were like tasteful posters, you know, it was like a It was like a a tasteful nerd

apartment it could have been on Reddits are slash male living spaces. It wouldn't have been a top tier one. It's a it would be a medium one because it was like all the pictures were level kind of thing. Like he knew he should have a nice apartment but didn't have a ton of taste. But like, you know what I mean? That kind of in between sort of situation. He got it framed, you know? Like he didn't think too much about what it was, but he did get it framed. Yeah. I know it was like James Bond movie, you know, like it was, yeah, everything was very on the nose in there.

Well, it's to the point where like someone's gonna ask and you should invite that conversation. I feel like yes, period. It's's like why you got the posters then buddy? The kind of person the kind of person that gets a lucite cube for his latest very ambitious Lego thing Vivian when you're on the road, do you do you Airbnb? Do you do you are you a member of the hotel rewards program? Should we greet you with a hearty bonvoy? Oh, yes. Bonvoy to you, madame.

Ah, también es tu. Sorry, I don't speak bonvoy fully. Oh, you don't speak Marriott. No, I... At Hilton, they speak Esperanto, the international language. Yeah, I... Well, you know, they're really doing things for the universe, you know, just making it so everyone can be there.

No, I don't speak Esperanto. I speak Esperanto. You know, they're really doing things for the universe, you know, just making it so everyone can be there. No, I'm actually classically anti-Arab, I'm an anti-Arabian bee guy because I had one of those early Airbnb sketchy incidents, you know what I mean? Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah. So we were, we, as Angelina's do, we're like, hey, let's do that deal

and go to Disneyland, because Mickey needs us this month. You know, they always do the deal, and they're like, please buy a ticket and see you go. So Cal residents. Right, yeah, exactly. Finally, Disney's reaching out to me. They're appreciating us, the locals. You know what?

For me and my generation, for my Angelinos, there is one way to reach me and that is on the back of Yvonne's receipt. Yeah, or one Coke can as entry. Remember that one? Yep. Oh, man. Sure, sure, sure. I gave Magic Mountain a lot of Coke cans in my teen years. Where do they put those? A lot of full Cokes to Magic Mountain. Great question.

Do they recycle them? Yeah. So we were going to Disneyland. We were like, let's book an Airbnb. Let's make it a thing. It'll be fun. You know, we're saving so much money on these tickets. Oh, yeah. And we did the damn thing. I signed up for the account. I was like, I'm Vivian.

And the owner, this was my first time and last time. So I don't know what's common and what's not common. But the guy was like, okay, now I'm going to send you like a third party email address with the full name of the company. and last time. So I don't know what's common and what's not common. But the guy was like, okay, now I'm going to send you like a third party email address with the photos of the real address because the one on Airbnb and B isn't the real address. Okay. Yeah. That's a big old R E D flag, you know, and I reached out to Airbnb and I was like, is this guy for real? And they're like, no. And then like to enter the home, you just stand on there's an X on the ground, stand on the X, and then look up. Yeah. A cage will not fall on you. Yeah. It was like download

this VPN, go buy a burner phone and throw it into a river. You're like, my host is named Scar? The last text he said was don't play me. I don't know what that. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? So we canceled it. And I think I got one of those like partial refunds. And then I was like, wow, customer service was bullshit. And then I never went back, you know?

And I know a lot of people who are very, it's a very black and white Airbnb situation. People either love it or they're like, never again. And yeah, when you have somebody be like, meet me in the alley and tell me the password, you're not going to want to go back to that website. There are situations for it. Can you pay me in Best Buy gift cards? Oh, God. When we're like on tour and it's an overnight, that's when you want to stay in a hotel, right?

You just want a hotel, you want your own bathroom, whatever. But if you're somewhere weird and it's three or four nights and there's four of you, that's a lot of hotel money and you get yourself a real nice Airbnb at that point. And it's the same traveling with children. If I'm traveling with my children, trying to get them into a hotel room is going to be a fucking nightmare. And so anything that where I know that there's like rubber on the corners of the coffee tables. You know what I mean? Like that's what I'm looking for. Anything that says like something with a pool. Oh, that's that's where the money needs to go.

Yeah. Or sometimes you need a witness, you know, traveling alone. You just need to look someone in the eyes and be like, you got sure I was here. We good. Avenge me if I do not return. Vivian, we're just meeting, but there was something that left out to me in your bio. I think I saw it both in your regular bio and in your social media bios, which is that you identified yourself as a comedian and bruja, or the Spanish word for witch. What are your witch qualifications? Ooh, vamo. Okay. Oh, my space heater just turned on. Yeah. You're welcome. I control the electronics in my house. I speak toaster. No, I'm just kidding. Um, it's very more like natural.

Like, how do you explain it when you and your mom always know when you're calling each other, or one of you has got like an auntie, you know, and they have those constant coincidences, right? And it starts out that way. And then you realize like you just have these connections in life with people. So with me, it kind of happens like that a lot all over the place. Right. And I decided to research it a little bit and practice it. And so. It's weird, too, because there's a lot of Catholicism in my family, so I've sort of settled on myself being like a listener of the universe.

And then that's it. And that that's really it, is I just try and look out for what's going on around me. And when is Disneyland have the SoCal residents deal? Yeah, you know, it's like a... Just to listen, light a candle for SoCal residents. I got a universal Google alerts up, you know what I mean? Like it's a... Some people are more in tune.

The main reason I ask, something that we've discussed on Jordan Jesse Goh in the past is that one type of neighborhood, one type of store in the neighborhood where I grew up that I was afraid to go into is Wig Store. There was a wig store in my neighborhood. My middle school friend, Java, wanted us to go in there and I was too scared 13 years old just unsettled by wig stores. That's one category but the other category is and there was a lot more of these is Botanicals or like

brujerias right like freaking witch stores. And these sell a lot of candles in the front window, but also a lot of symbols that seem to mix stars and Catholic stuff. And I've lived in neighborhoods full of them my entire life and have never gone into one because I'm afraid of it. Oh, you should be afraid.

But I feel like that's just excitement with a different perspective, right? The store excites you, right? Don't be afraid to go in there. It's not gonna hurt you. When am I gonna get in there? Yeah, what do you... Yeah, do you have witch supplies like at the ready if you needed to do some witching? Kite Totally.

Adamus We're not gonna make you. We do want you to play the penis theme on that piano behind you, but just out of curiosity, like what do you... Do you have a cabinet in the house that's dedicated to it? So first of all, I want to say that I also read a little bit about you too. And I won't talk to anybody about this, but you too, I totally will because you just give me that good juju vibe. And so like, one's own craft- Steven's pretty shady.

Steven. Steven's pretty shady. Do not trust Stephen. He once told me to stand on an X and bring a bag full of Best Buy gift cards. He has a weird Airbnb. He has a weird Airbnb by Disneyland, so don't go down there, Stephen. It's untrustworthy. No, but like, first, it's not something you talk about with just anybody. It is your personal shit very much like I think people who are truly religious aren't just like blah-ba-dee-blah my spirituality.

They kind of, you know, I met a lot of good faith folk of all the faiths who are like, oh, that's my shit. You don't need to know about that. So a brujeria or botanica is like any bodega. It's got classic stuff, you know? Bodega is usually got a cat. Talking about kerns nectar? Yeah, Botanica is usually got kerns. I mean, the Latinos, we've been loving kerns, but like, they're gonna have- It's a very thick juice. Yeah, it's good juice. It's good stuff. They're gonna have purple juice. They're gonna have the

drink, but they're also gonna have coconut oil, peppermint oil, cinnamon oil, licorice root, like things that are just like natural supplements, you know, they have organic stuff. Like I'm someone who has eczema, so you had to kind of dabble in that shit as a kid anyways and it made me like a weird herbalist. I've got eczema too and I've never used anything, you know, holistic for it. I've only used, you know, prescribed things. What are the more homebrew eczema treatments? Oh, peppermint oil. Peppermint oil is the best. Oh yeah, wait, what's... It has such a wonderful scent.

You have eczema? I do. Sorry, just shout out for everyone with eczema out there. Silent shout out. Silent suppers. Yes, some say that we're the bravest soldiers. I don't say that, but others do say that about me and others. I've never heard of it.

Some gave all. All had itch. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. On their skin. Right. I did.

The supermarket will have a small section of these things off. Oh, yeah. And I purchased some cologne that's called Florida Water. That's OK. Simply because I liked the idea of buying cologne at the grocery store that was called Florida Water. Now it and it has an amazing label. It's absolutely tremendous label on a plastic bottle and Are you worried that it'll attract Gators? Yeah. Well, that is a big concern, but I looked it up It turns out I brought witch cologne. Yes Witch cologne. Yeah, every botanica will have that on the shelf in spades every kind What is the what is the scent of Florida water?

How would you describe it? It's like flowers? Fresh in citrusy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Floral citrusy. But it's also supposed to be good luck.

Like that specific, the brewer, the bottle, it's supposed to be good luck. It's one of those things you're supposed to just have on your altar, you know, however you want to practice. I'm going to say, I specifically do say brujeria and notch witchcraft. It's not just a translation. of those things you're supposed to just have on your altar, you know, however you want to practice. I'm gonna say, I specifically do say buru-hurria and notch witchcraft. It's not just a translation. I do feel like it's something a little bit separate just because it's not like, that's different. It's just because it came from such a different place. I don't know. It's like, hard to put those two things together in my brain. Yeah. Very different vibe. Apparently,

you put this, you can put this stuff in your in your bucket and mop your house. This is something I read about. Lucky house. Yeah. So this is kind of like a Dr. Bronner is kind of an all purpose multi use kind of product. Yeah. Yeah. It is a floor wax. product. Yeah, you can also use it as a floor wax. Yeah, it's like Fabuloso. Which Jordan, Vivian, which do you prefer, Fabuloso or LA's Totally Awesome when it comes to dollar store cleaning products? Right. Don't make me choose. Are you guys ready for a quiz? Because I wrote a quiz for this program. Love a quiz. So just recently on my public radio program, Bullseye, I spoke with a man named Jude Law. Great get. It was wonderful, wonderful conversation. He's a lovely man, both in conversation and before mine eyes. Just a gorgeous human being. Had a great time talking to him.

And we have been posting clips of our bullseye conversations, video clips of our bullseye conversations, on Instagram and TikTok lately. And normally, what happens is, you know, a thousand people watch it and they just comment like, oh, I love bullseye or whatever. But this one clip never come back. Exactly. One star. This one clip. This guy left the light on at my house. This one clip of me talking to Jude Law hit the algorithm slipstream somehow.

And now has hundreds and hundreds of thousands heading to millions of views. He was saying funny things that people with ADHD do? Yeah, exactly. He was a golden retriever bringing odd objects to its owner? Oh, interesting. I can see why this went so big. Anyway, Gabe, our substitute engineer today has a little bit of a clip. Gabe, why don't

you play it back? Oh yeah, please. My peak, my island, my kids call it. Are you prepared to defend that area as necessary as you age? With my life. Oh, you area as necessary as you age? So some seeds in there. Technological. There's far more than just surgical interventions these days.

How important is defending this front to you? It's so vital to who I am. However, I've shorn it off several times for certain roles and I've no issue with a pain. My father is bald and that's a very good question. I think it's one that I'll have to answer when the day comes. You're welcome here with us. Thank you. We're glad to accept you.

I mean, one of the things, many things I love about Jack Nicholson is obviously his performances his his persona his energy But was always the receding hairline. Yeah, I To me made him unbelievably attractive and charismatic. So yeah, right I'm the exactly what you're talking about. I agree with you completely and I think you have that going on like your your front hair is Really distinctive and a big part of how unspeakably handsome you are. Thank you so much. I will defend it to the last. So that's me and Jude Law. Now, as this hit the slipstream of the algorithm,

I was tagged in this video. The Bullseye account had posted it, but I was tagged in it. And I found that every single comment on the video appeared in my Instagram notifications. So every time I opened Instagram, it would share with me all of the comments on the video. And so this quiz is called, Which of These is a real comment on Jesse's interview Okay, with Jude Law, I will give you one real comment and two false comments and your job is to suss out the real one. Okay, Jordan, I'll give you an example here. This just just for practice. Okay, here are your choices. Hair is such a hassle cannot figure out the human obsession with it at

all. interviewer keeps touching his head is annoying AF. And finally, judging by his arm hair, he could grow an awesome beard. Which of those is real? One of those is real, Jordan. Boy. I think it's two, the one about you touching your head. So all of these were real. That one, in this case, all of them were real. That was a trick question.

But moving forward, only one of them will be real. Someone really wrote all of these. Vivian, I'm going to give you first crack at this. Wait, do I get to phone a friend? Can I phone a friend? Yeah, sure. Do you have friends? I don't have any sort of didn't occur to me. Yeah, I didn't. I don't have friends. I should have thought of that. Okay. Okay. Here are your choices. Can we ask Gabe? Yeah. Substitute engineer Gabe. No, I mean, can we ask each other?

That's what I meant. Here are your choices, Vivian. Question number one. A. Smooth and shiny. Want to ruby. No. B. Love a good pate. C. Ooh, heads. Gimmie, gimmie. May I ask for the spelling of pate? Yeah, it's P-A-T-E. Spelled the same as pate, but it's a different word.

Interesting. Use it in a sentence. You know... I love a good pate. Okay. I gotta guess the one with the spelling error, you know? Because just people be commenting so fast. They were just like banging that out.

That's great logic, Vivian. That's great logic. Yeah. Which one is the one with the spelling error? Pate. No, that's how Pate is spelled. That's the correct spelling of Pate. Yeah. Pate the bunny? No, no, Pate, not Pat. Pate. Pate, that's the area, I guess, above the forehead area. That's the word for that? Okay, well, then I unguess that because who knows that word? That's fake. Okay. Is that a well-known word? I don't know that.

I mean, we used it in the clip you just heard. Motherfucker. So there's that. Got me there. Yeah, got me there. All right. I guess the first one then. I changed my answer. Incorrect. The correct answer was love a good pate. Thanks to Hez Griffin for that one. Damn it. Hez Griffin. love a good paint thanks to Griffin for that has Griffin a lot of nasty a lot of nasty paint freaks out there question number two is for you Jordan here are your choices a font this was a puppy clip B what is this crap or see dump them out

I mean, I think dump them out probably. I mean, I think you You know, you're the bulls-eye listeners probably want you to dump them out and by um, I mean observations Insights. Yeah Those insights am I fucking fat pendulous balls as well. Well sure To be fair they more want that from Segal well, yeah I've seen Segal and running shorts. Mm-hmm Your Pete number two for me. Yeah, what is this crap? Yeah, I think that that is the kind of like I feel like I run across that kind of incredulous internet comment a lot.

Just like someone, someone who like just thinks they have to interact with every single thing they see. Yeah, so that's my guess. Green Stewart commented, what is this crap? You're absolutely correct, Jordan. Ding, ding, ding. It's like a clip of an interview. I don't like. You tapped on it.

It's not skippity toilet. Like, it's pretty clear what it is. It just makes me laugh too that, like, you have to, like, log in, put the comment, assign it, accept it. Like that's a lot of effort. Sure. You're not caring.

Yeah. Back to you, Vivian. Here are your choices. A. Micro transplant was for me one year of two jobs and bingo, lots of little hairies. B. I'm wearing a wig on my shiny wet head. C. I do transplant instead of fooling myself with nice conversations. I mean they're all so juicy. You could do a deep dive into each of those. I'm gonna go with A because it's very specific.

I feel like that's a very specific thing to say. Okiito Film Memes commented, I'd do a transplant instead of fooling myself with nice conversations. Mm-hmm. Vivian, do you have to, do you have internet commenters that you have to deal with? Oh yeah, but you know, it's more like in a female sense where it's like, you're ugly. It's like, oh yeah, okay. Wow. Tell me something I didn't say to myself five minutes ago all right Jordan I'm I'm glad that Vivian brought that topic up topic of our next question

here here are your choices a Jude you are exceptionally gorgeous this interviewer is not in your league. Oh, that's mean. Okay. B. Jude, you are exceptionally gorgeous. This interviewer is similarly exceptionally gorgeous. Okay, okay, okay. Or C. Jude, everyone Everyone agrees you are less handsome than 2024 podcast Hall of Fame inductee Jesse Thorn. Boy, it's so tough. I'm going to take a random guess and say it's A. Yeah, you're absolutely... Thanks to Diane Grant for commenting. Jude, you are exceptionally gorgeous. This interviewer is not in your league Before you sit down for an interview you should make sure that the host is almost as good-looking as you Who's gonna interview you, Diane? Yeah, Diane. Diane. Jordan, you're doing great. You're winning two to nothing, I think.

Oh my gosh. I'm excited for me. I had a really good paying attention, but Vivian, next one is for you. Okay, I'm gonna catch up. A. Sad hair, sad hair, sad hair. B. Bro. Be a fucking bald is sucks. C. My dreams is done, I never plumber.

Okay, so my logic about the misspelling is coming back up. And the second one, is it is with an IZ or IS? All the I's are spelled with an S. They All the I all the is is are spelled with an S. They are all all the is is are spelled correctly. Now, I will say. What it says here on my piece of paper is, bro, be a fucking bald is sucks. That makes me want to think that it's that one just because, you know, I type stuff fast sometimes, and then I comment and, you know,

intelligently. And it sounds crazy. So I think it's that one. PS Tumpf commented, bro, be a fucking bald is sucks. For a second I was like. Here are your choices. Hey, I think Be A Bald is beautiful. Put that on a card. Yeah. Be a Bald is beautiful.

It's beautiful. It is beautiful. Fuck you, Diane. Yeah, Diane. Right? Fuck you, PS Tumpf fuck you, Diane. Right? Fuck you, P.S. Tumpf. Okay, Jordan, you ready? Yeah. A. Bro, we love bros who love themselves. Okay. That's nice.

That's more positive than they've been so far. B. Dude, I needed this positivity, Maine. My hairline is cooked Okay, or see video is dope just what I needed my cat has leukemia Boy I'm not laughing at the fact that a cat would have leukemia I know love cats and no none of them ever die and I hope that if anybody out there has a cat with leukemia Clips from my NPR show can help cheer them up Can you read the first one to me again? Yeah, bro. We love bros who love themselves. I Think that one there is a kind of like there is a kind of like, you know

rise and grind kind of like, you know live every day Like it's the fullest day, you know that kind of like hyper positivity I yeah that that to me seems like it's from that section of the internet Jordan love life Julian commented dude, I needed this positivity, Maine. My hairline is cooked. I was going to guess Maine because I was like, I think, you know, a lot of people who are doing these comments are starting one way and then taking a right turn.

Right? It's like, this is a vulnerable moment. J.K. Broski, right? So the Maine did it for me. I was I was like the main it's the main now Vivian this final question is worth either two or three points however many points you need to win because they don't remember interesting that way yeah it's the final question here are your choices. A, these two sucks ding. B, two big bruts making two big frats.

Bruts. Or C, or C, blad ugly people so those choices again are these two sucks ding uh-huh Two big brats making two big frats or blad ugly people I mean, I don't know about you bruts, but... I'm sorry. Hey, you know what they say, bruts before ruts.

Yeah, you know, me and my bruts are out at the frats in the fruts. Hey, wait a minute, who fratted? Yeah. Yeah. When I joined my fruit, my brats and I were like, bruh. Yeah, bruts before nuts. That's the other one. The brain rot is wild with this, with this. This brah. Yeah, bruts before nuts. That's the other one. The brain rot is wild with this.

This is loud. I think it's the one where they spelled bald wrong, though. I know it is. I know my people on the internet. You're typing too fast, and you're spelling stuff wrong. My bruts. Where my bruts at? Vivian Svenen, 1974, commented,

blad ugla people. Looks like Vivian won Jordan. Oh man, Vivian pulling it out. In the back of the century. In the end. Man. Woo woo woo. Blad ugla people. Blad ugla people. Well you win it.

Oh man. The esteem of the community. You win a romantic date with Diane from the comments. You and Diane will be visiting beautiful El Torito for sizzling fajitas. The number of genuinely terrifyingly thirsty comments about Jude Law was unspeakable. I bet. Just my entire phone, every time it lights up, it's just someone saying,

Jude, you are as beautiful as you are kind. Did people genuinely think that he posted that? I don't. And that he is reading the comments? Like he's reading them. I'll tell you this. The closest thing previous to this, to one of these videos going viral,

was one that has maybe 100 or 200,000 views on it. That's Ken Burns talking about quilts. Okay. Is someone slowly zooming in on his face? Ken Burns loves quilts. He's a quilt collector. He's an incredibly beautiful quilt collection. And these quilt ladies wanna fuck Ken Burns so hard.

All they want is that KBD. Ken Burns, dick. Damn. I'm imagining like an Iris Apfel type woman who just wants to fuck Ken Burns. Like an eccentric old lady Get I'm not other eccentric old dude, you know, Ken Burns fucks you and as he showed you to the door He hands you a tote bag

Gives you a brief history on the tote bag Pan over Ken Burns fucking you Lonely banjo music plays! Here comes a grant from the Chubb Foundation? Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. It's Jordan Jessi Goh. I'm Jessi Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every episode of Jordan Jessi Goh is brought to you by you, the members of Maximum Fund. Thank you for being a member of Maximum Fund. If you're not one, you can go to MaximumFun.org slash join Max Fun Drive. Coming down the horizon.

That's not how the words work. She'll be coming down the horizon when she comes. She's on the Wells Fargo wagon. It's a coming around the bend. So thank you, members, and thank you, members to be. Jordan, you have a brand new comic book for fire relief. There have been some horrible wildfires here in Los Angeles if you haven't been reading the news.

And you have contributed a story to a very cool new Godzilla comic. Yeah, it's so, so, so cool. I can't wait for folks to see this. It's called Godzilla vs. LA. It comes out on April 30th. It is three cool stories about Godzilla visiting LA. It comes out on April 30th. It is three cool stories about Godzilla visiting LA. All the folks contributing to this thing are Angelenos. And all the money is going to Wildfire Relief. So if you love Godzilla, if you love LA, if you love helping folks,

Godzilla versus LA coming out April 30th, you can pre-order that at your local comic book shop. Tell them to put it on your pull list, Godzilla vs. LA. And hey, while you're there, I also contributed a story to Web of Spider-Verse, New Blood. It is a spooky Spider-Man story with artist Sumit Kumar. And this is a fun Spider-Man anthology with all sorts of alternate realities, Spidey's running around having adventures.

So yeah, two cool comic books you can check out. You don't need to know anything to read either of these. They're standalone good times. And Godzilla versus LA, all the money goes to a good cause. Yeah. If you're a know nothing though, don't buy them. We don't like the know nothings because they were racist, if I remember correctly, from American history class.

Also, something about the silver standard. Why did you break that up? Well, you said you don't have to know anything, but I don't. It's fine if you don't know anything, but not if you don't know nothing. Okay. Yeah, don't follow it. I'm just saying. I mean, you know. No races. No races can buy the comics. Okay. We also have something up on the Jumbotron where our listeners share messages with our

listeners at maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron. This is a message from Ben. I guess to all of you, basically Ben just wanted to send in all of his ideas for possible guest nicknames. Yes, so the Jumbotron can be used for many things. We could put your book. Good, evil, chaos. Good, evil. Sure. Whatever the chaos.

You know, we could plug something, we could wish somebody happy birthday, but if you just want to contribute to a running bit, get yourself a Jumbotron. Okay. So he says, dear guest in the hot seat, reaching for a nickname, have you considered? Price is right, contestant Andre? 3001 sort of two nicknames honestly. Yeah. Yeah, I get what he's going for there, you know Yeah, right up somebody by a dollar and you fuck him. Oh, I see. Oh, I got it. Yeah, that makes sense Yeah, yeah, that's funny under secretary of hip-hop soul queen of hip-hop soul. Of course, Mary Jane Blige. Sure But of course, there's gotta be a whole cabinet of Hip Hop Soul dignitaries.

Talkative men's room attendant, Big Baby Y-H-W-H. Okay. Yeah, I don't think I get that one, but it's fun. Yeah, too legit to quit. Only built for sausage links, L-I-N-X. That's fun. Detachable penis, that was a novelty song from when we were in middle school. Yeah, that was a fun one. It was nice to hear. Detachable Penis on modern rock radio. Mm-hmm. Public nuisance.

King of Wishful Thinking. Final answer. And more of an Andrew Ridgely. Yeah. Listen, hope these make no that was awful and we just didn't understand why yes if any of that was coded language to an extremist group we're sorry oh we didn't awaken any sleeper cells oh boy that's though I got I do not want to awaken a sleeper cell oh my god the last thing I want to wake him. I don't need that

Well, thank you Ben unless I'm awakened and bacon If you want to get up on the jumbotron it's maximum fun org slash jumbotron wish somebody happy birthday Plug your website Whatever it is. It's easy, maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessi Go. It's Jordan Jessi Go. I'm Jesse Thorne.

I'm Jesse Thorne. I'm Jesse Thorne. A glad, ugly person. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Vivian, lover of Diane. Diane? Oh yeah. You've kind of pivoted on Diane. I pivoted. You know, I love a bad boy. And uh...

Okay. You love a shit poster. Yeah, yeah. Diane sounds naughty. The dance up there is starting shit in the comments. He's not in your league. Now that she told me I can't, I want it. She thinks that Jude Law posted a clip by himself. Does she think that he only does that anyone who talks to him is presuming to be in his

league? What does she think? Tens should only do interviews with other tens. We know. Like we know when we talk to a ten we're not that. It's not like we're, let me put on some makeup real fast. I know. This guy was wearing like a wispy scarf.

He was wearing a cashmere zip up hooded sweatshirt, zipped halfway down and a wispy scarf. He looks so fucking good. I feel like that's kind of lame. Also, that's like a Diane generation because for me, you said front hair and I lost it. I was like, oh my god, you did not just say that. That is hilarious. And I bet he's going to call it his front hair the rest of his life. And I love that. Was that mean or no?

No, I don't think so. There was some discussion of whether in the comments of whether it was a peninsula or an archipelago Mmm That was a that was a question. Yeah, has it been colonized? Has it not been colonized? Is it part of a larger sweating it? Guys a brilliant actor gorgeous man When something momentous happens to you like you I gave him one of my scarves, you know, I got some scarves in the put this on shop that we made.

I brought them over. I said, I'm going to give you one of these scarves. No, nice. Okay. Maybe he'll be, you know, photographed at Spago wearing it. I love a scarf. Like, what was the scarf? Jordan, Vivian, why don't we ever go to Spago?

We got, okay, after the record, I'll call Wolfgang, tell him to stay open late. I'll unmute the group chat. Yes. The group chat, Vivian, is you, Jordan, me, and Wolfgang. Yeah, we kicked Diane out weeks ago. The title is the Spago Crew. Guys, I'm thinking Spago.

It used to be called SpaGoGo as a funny pun for the group, but we stopped doing that. Right, yeah, sure, that was fun. We're fun. We're fun. We're a fun group. You're fun. When something momentous happens to you,

like the group chat is blowing up because Wolfgang just decided you should put barbecue sauce on chicken on pizza. Whoa. Give us a call at 206-984-4FUN or just make a voice memo and send it to us at jjgoatmaximumfun.org for our segment Momentous Occasions. Here's one occasion now. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and big time genome. I am calling with a momentous occasion. I live in Berlin. I've lived here for nearly eight years. And I am my very first orgy hiding

in the sauna right now. We all talk like that. I'll tell you this. It's going okay. But it's not a bad time. I think I'm having fun. I love the show. Bye. Can I tell you who is in Berlin right now? My mom. Do you think my mom? Judy's at this orgy?

I listen I don't I don't get into Judy's personal life. What would you guess is the odds? Any as long as she I just want Judy to be happy. Yeah. What do you think are the odds my mom my mom has been in an orgy? What would you put the percentage at? You know, I think given and again, I just want to say I love Judy. She's been nothing but wonderful to me. We got nothing but respect for Judith Thorne. I am going to say that, you know, just

given the stories you've told about, you know, what she got up to in the 60s, I would say nine out of 10 chance. Yeah. Escandalo. I love it. It does seem like, like my mom is, she doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would be into orgies. But just by virtue of her life, she would have been in an orgy and been like, oh, fuck, is this an orgy? I got to go. Sure.

I know. I like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I don't love the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I like it. Doing the Time Warp, Tim Curry's great. I don't love it. But I've- You don't love it because it's not that good.

Sure. But I've seen it nine million times because I was a high school drama kid like you just you know So I think they hold you down. They make you there. Yeah, there's a version of that probably of like well You know everybody's going Yeah, I Think that's yeah, I will say this for our friend in Berlin. Mm- Berlin. Oh, my mom's having a great time in Berlin. It's her friend Anka's 60th birthday. Oh, that's nice. Happy birthday, Anka. I haven't seen Chris and Anka in a long time.

But I'll say this to our friend in Berlin. Sauna seems like a terrible place to hide at En orgy. They're gonna find you right away. Sauna is one of the top places to suck and fuck at an orgy. Yeah, I mean, I guess. But we don't know what other places are at this orgy. So, I mean, obviously, sauna very high, but maybe, you know, there's a bounce house. Maybe there's... Or when you pour the water on those rocks, it gets steamy. You can't see what's going on in there. Maybe he's in a certain part of the sauna or they are in a certain part of the sauna and there's some activity happening on the third tier level of this large sauna. I mean, I feel like orgies are

in big places too. It's like a mansion with like a nice sauna, right? I don't know. That's how I picture it. Oh, all I really know. I mean, I look, Vivian, I don't know if you've ever been to an orgy. I haven't. I have. I you have? Well, I've been at one of those weird mansions where you're like, hey, there's an orgy happening in that part, but we're going to go do karaoke over here because I was the rocky horror kid. It was an Airbnb. It was like Stallone's old mansion. Wow. Well, that's where that would happen. Wow, well that's where that would happen.

Palm Springs. That is where that would happen. Yeah, someone fed me shrimp in a pool. It was delightful. Wow, what a life. Was it a dolphin? Tell me it was a dolphin. I would love to be fed shrimp anywhere.

You're right, we did eat dolphin, no I'm just kidding. Oh, I meant the dolphin was feeding you. I said, oh God, no. I was never going to say. It's normal to be fed shrimp by a dolphin. It's weird to eat dolphin. When you're at Sly's Place in Palm Springs, a dolphin's on the menu. Yeah, yeah. You're filming nothing.

Soka Stogie, yeet a little dolphin steak. Dude, Jordan, if you're at fucking Sly's place in Palm Springs and you're eating dolphin, you fucking blew it. You could be eating orca. Yeah. That's right. But killer whale, Jordan. Yeah, that's why you go to Arnold's. They had a famous feud, you know. Sly preferred dolphin, Arnold preferred orca.

Yeah. It was so, he was so angry when we went to Arnold's after. I know. I was just slapping the face. The feud goes on. Mm-hmm. Man, I ended up at Arnold's from Happy Days somehow. I was such a bummer. Embarrassing.

To hang out with Potsy. Okay, we got another momentous occasion. Let's hear it. Hey Jordan, Jesse and guests. This is Jess calling back. You may remember me from surviving a tornado in like last July, I think, in a barn. It was fine. I survived.

I'm fine. Anyway, just wanted to report in also a former clogger. I did not expect this call to action, but I was a dance minor at Ball State University and one of my classes that I took was Appalachian clog dancing. My final, I had to choreograph a clog dance with a couple of my girlfriends. I did it to get back by the Beatles. My friend did it too. Missy Elliott. It ruled. So anyway, love the show. I Love you guys checking in, I guess. Probably get your freak on, right? Sure, get your clog on. I was wondering the song as well. Yeah, probably.

Do you think if you major in dance at Ball State, it's just all clog? Well, she might. Gotta be wall to wall clog. Gotta be clog heavy. She minored. Yeah, no, no, no. I understand that she minored. She majored in surviving a tornado in a barn. Yeah, being a badass.

Just to catch you up, Vivian, this woman called in one time before in a tornado in a barn. My goodness. Another legend on the show. She sounds fucking cool. Yeah, I mean, hey, I mean, when you're at Sly's place in Palm Springs, there's a room specifically for clogging. There's the orgy wing, of course, the karaoke wing where you were, Vivian. There were.

I feel like I'm gonna get in trouble for talking about this. Oh, well. Can I tell you this, Jordan? One time when I was at Sly's house in Palm Springs, I went to the clogging room and I couldn't find the plunger. Yeah. I shouldn't have had all that dolphin. Backed you up. JJ Goh at MaximumFun.org or 206-984-4Fun.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Goh. Hey, is this Jesse? This is Jesse. and Jesse Goh. La la la la la la la la la la la. Hey, is this Jesse? This is Jesse. Hey, this is Stuart Wellington, host of the Flophouse podcast on Max Fun. I'm calling because you've been named Maximum Fund's member of the month for February.

Nice. If you don't mind me asking what prompted you to start supporting the network, become a Max Fun member. I was trying to think of when I started listening to the FobHouse, but I think it was something like 2014, 2015. Oh, wow. And then actually having a real job in 2021 was what allowed me to actually start supporting. Congratulations for having a real job and supporting my not real job.

So as member of the month, you're going to be getting a $25 gift card to the Max Fun store, a special member of the month bumper sticker and a special priority parking spot at Max Fun HQ in Los Angeles. It's awesome to support you guys to support Max Fun. I get endless joy and entertainment. If you're a MaxFun member, you can become the next MaxFun member of the month. Support us at MaximalFun.org slash join. Most of the plants humans eat are technically grass.

Most of the asphalt we drive on is almost a liquid. The formula of WD-40 is San Diego's greatest secret. Zippers were invented by a Swedish immigrant love story. On the podcast Secretly Incredibly Fascinating, we explore this type of amazing stuff. Stuff about ordinary topics like cabbage and batteries and socks. Topics you'd never expect to be. The title of the podcast. Secretly incredibly fascinating. Find us by searching for the word secretly in your podcast app.

And at MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse for in America America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. Vivian, that's you! And Vivian, slow to the take as usual. It's okay, Vivian. It's okay. At least you're not ugly like me. No, yeah.

You're more blad. You have a blue-tiful head of hair. Not blad. I am blue-tiful. Blue Blue to full and plowed. Plowed of it. Do you think it's possible that that was a blood-affiliated rapper YG who starts all C words with the letter B as in his song Balm, Bool, and Bolective? Yes. I think that's probably who that was. Leaving, go here and internet comments. Yeah.

Occam's Racer. Probably. Probably that. Vivian, you've got a big LA fires benefit show coming up on Valentine's Day. Where's that show? It's going to be, it's called Punchbox. It's at Lag Vintage over in East Hollywood. It's going to be super It's at Lag Vintage over in East Hollywood. It's gonna be super fun.

Donation-based tickets. Yeah, it's all for the fires, which you know, not to be a downer, but they need it. So come have some laughs. And Valentine's Day. It would it be possible to direct any of this money toward getting Jordan a better Airbnb? Help me out. I just want to be able to open the dishwasher and not have it scrape against one of the cabinets. Something that's actually happening in here. Hey, as long as we're talking nice stuff you can do to help folks affected by the LA fires, can I bring something up? Please. I am part of a really cool project. This is a comics anthology called Godzilla versus LA Oh, I saw this on your Instagram. This is exciting. Oh, yeah, this is on my Instagram people people were saying it was

Blutiful it was a beautiful post tell me everything Yeah, so this is a comics anthology about stories about Godzilla visiting LA and everybody who buys this thing, all the profits are going to wildfire relief. Wait, I saw this online too! Oh yeah, this is an online place. Good marketing! Thank you. I love Godzilla.

Yeah, that's the fine folks at IDW Publishing. And yeah, this is so cool. I like have loved Godzilla forever and- I was going to say, must have you must have absolutely clogged Sly's toilet when you found out. Yeah when I got the call I was shitting at Sly's. I had to put my dolphin down because I was like what? Yeah yeah I choked on my dolphin.

With the only person I in the world I know who loves Godzilla more than you is Elliot Kalin. You I think even have my daughter Grace beat. Yeah, no. We could probably, Grace and I could probably, you know, go kaiju for kaiju if we were having some sort of kaiju naming contest. Did you get to choose what Godzilla would try and destroy in LA for your story? I pitched them, you know, a handful of things and the one we went with... The California Pizza Kitchen.

Godzilla hates fusion. He hates fusion cooking. He would. He loves traditional dishes. Traditional dishes. I pitched them a bunch of stuff and the one that they liked and said to run with was Godzilla runs amok at a legally dissimilar Universal Studios. The story is from the perspective of the person driving the tram so it's kind of a it's kind of a getaway chase story from the perspective

of the Universal Studios tram driver. The artist on this TBD but there's a lot of cool folks doing stories for this. I've heard in one of the stories he's going to fight a lowrider that turns into a mech. Yeah. Andale, that's so cool. That one wins. But yeah, it's really cool and it's so cool that they're using this as a way to help out with the wildfires.

So Godzilla versus LA, you just pre-order it wherever you get your comics. And hey, while you're there, you can also pre-order Web of Spider verse New Blood, the Spider-Man anthology that I'm contributing to. So there you go. Does that also take place at Universal Studios? It does. Yes. Spider-Man waiting in line for a churro. Spider-Man going to the John Lovett's comedy club. Yeah, but he's all wet because he just rode Jurassic Park. Spider-Man meets the Minions at the Waterworld show.

Godzilla may tangle with a character who is legally dissimilar from the Minions. Oh, Crimian, yes. So make sure you pick up Godzilla vs. the Lights. It's for a good cause. I'm super excited about it. And yeah, really, really, really cool. That's so cool. I don't think Godzilla would ever destroy John Lovitz's comedy club.

No. He loves comedy too much. Well, he loves John Lovitz too much. He loves the pathological liar. He loves his appearances in Adam Sandler movies. He loves his... It stinks! It stinks!

It stinks, he says. Yeah, that's what fucking John Lovett says. My, my book! Such a good episode. Yeah, John Lovett, Godzilla was a teen in the 90s, so that was his SNL cast, you know? Yeah. He would never. He would never. He would never. He would never.

He would never. Not Janine Garofalo in them. But yeah, this is something you get at a comic book store, not a bookstore. So I'm sure most of our audience has an LCS they support. You have a poll list. But if you don't have one, yeah, just do yourself a Yelp search for a comic book store in my area. Call them up.

Tell them you want Web of Spider versus New Blood and Godzilla versus LA. Adam L. Hickman LCS is a latter-day Church of Saints? David T. Leeson It is, yeah. Call your favorite Mormon comic book store. Local comic shop, LCS, local comic shop, I should have said. Adam L. Hickman Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, Courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Our thanks to them. Our thanks to Gabe Mara, our substitute producing this week. And I think Stephen is editing this week. Stephen has been on an exciting trip to Australia. The Antipodes, as they are known. He just keeps sending us pictures of him in almost no shirt holding

an Australia thing or pointing to an Australia thing. They're also on the nose. I think he might not actually be there. Exactly. A guala, a Vegemite. A bunch of green screen bullshit. We told him, and a lot of people have been asking me, have you been straight? Like have you given Stephen the kind of hard news that he needs to hear about going to Australia? And yes, we did.

We told him, do not come back unless you have fucked Yahoo serious. That is the baseline that we are laying down for Stephen coming back to this program. You can find us on Reddit at maximumfund.reddit.com, on Instagram at jordandavidmor David Morris at Jesse Thorne, very famous. And at Jordan Jesse Go Pod. We're starting to post a few little video clips now.

If you want to see Jonathan Ames talking about his zombie servant. Want to see acclaimed writer Jonathan Ames talk about his zombie servant? Well, great news. Follow Jordan Jessie Goh Pod on Instagram. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessie Goh. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. I do love you.