Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Tinker Pilled, with Sierra Katow

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

This week stand up comedian Sierra Katow joins Jordan and Jesse for a conversation about dentistry, tinkerbell wine moms, and Betty Boop.Listen or better yet PURCHASE Sierra's new stand up album "Funt"Amp up your hiring performance with ZipRecruiter — and find the best fast. See why 4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.Microdose Gummies deliver perfect, entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. Go to Microdose.com promo code JJGOCome see Jordan Morris at the YALLWEST Book Festival in Santa Monica on May 3rd and 4th. Get your tickets to see Jordan here. And if you can't make it to LA, pre-order Youth Group here for a discount.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I went and saw one of those Godzilla movies with my kid the other day.

Oh yeah? Which one? I just feel like like a lot of Godzilla's out these days if you're if you're a Godzilla fan You're you're in hog heaven all the other say God Zilla heaven yeah Sure, we're probably there's a hog Kaiju right I Where in my head I'll text Elliot Kayleigh. Thank you in my head. Yeah Hog heaven I'll text Ali at Kaley. Thank you. In my head, Hog Heaven scanned with God Heaven. God being short for Godzilla. Of course, we know that God Heaven is just

the regular Heaven that we're all going to go to when we die, except you. Me and Matt will be there. Yeah, I'm going to Heaven. I didn't. Oh, congratulations, Matt. Yeah, I just found out I got a letter in the mail. Oh, wow, from the Publishers Clearinghouse? Yeah, yeah just found out I got a letter in the mail. Oh from the publishers clearinghouse

Yeah, yeah, they said I won a million dollars and eternal eternal happiness in heaven. Oh That's actually an or oh you gotta choose I'll take the money. You don't have to tell me I don't can you tell them yeah Call Ed McMahon and tell him well. He's in heaven. I already chose the money. Whoa, okay. Well, there you go. You guys know what he did, guys? Do you guys think Ed McMahon's in heaven or hell?

Great question. Yeah, I don't know a ton. I'm gonna go ahead and just put up front here, I don't know anything about Ed McMahon, except for that he laughed distinctively next to Carson, and he was in Publishers Clearinghouse commercials. Okay, okay. So now that we have all that information, I'm going to say hell.

Right, because who in Hollywood in 1978 is not going to hell? James Cot, no. Okay. Jane Fonda, maybe. Burt Reynolds, no. Okay. Jane Fonda, there you go. Yeah, Jane Fonda there you go Pachino is probably cool right he seems chill. Yeah, he's good chill vibes He's got he just seems like a chill guy just a good dude. Yeah, you know that guy volunteers at church hundred percent Yeah, he brings food to old people 100% which is himself

I'm feeding the elderly That's what I what I call eating soup like, I'm feeding the elderly. Hoorah! That's what I call eating soup. I call it feeding the elderly. Yeah. Anyway, I only knew... Pretty good Pacino off the dome. That was. That was pretty soft. Thank you.

He said, hoo-ah, his famous phrase. From Sets of a Woman. Yeah. I really only knew these... You saw Godzilla. Yes. I had seen... I mean, I saw Godzilla minus one. Right.

Which I loved that. Terrific movie. Terrific movie. Really great. Yeah, really loved that. But I hadn't seen any of the Godzilla, King Kong movies. Right. From the Godzilla, King Kong-iverse. From the, yes, the legendary Monster-verse.

The legendary Monster-verse. Thank you. Yeah. And I honestly, I did not even know that King Kong lives in between the surface and center of the Earth in a subterranean... Oh, you're talking about Hollow Earth. That's where Kong lives, yeah. I didn't even know that about Kong.

Yeah, I like that they've woven into these movies a, like, problematic conspiracy theory. That they're using that as part of their storytelling. these movies a, like, problematic conspiracy theory. Yeah. That they're using that as part of their storytelling. Yeah, and I, uh, I didn't know, I didn't know anything about these. Okay, yeah, so you went into, so the most recent one out as of this recording is like Godzilla X Kong,

you know, Final Empire or Empire Rising. Yeah, yeah, submit that. Yeah, Rising is probably in there. Empire's probably in there. What? I'll tell you... I saw the movie and liked it. I don't know what the subtitle is. Yeah. So I only knew these movies primarily from

occasionally another guest on... a guest on Jordan Jesse Goh had seen one of these movies recently, and you had also seen it. Right. And so I would be the... I would be sitting there while the two of you had a discussion that also seen it. Right. And so I would be sitting there while the two of you had a discussion that sounded completely insane.

Sure. And that was very passionate about these movies. I mean, not that you, like, I don't mean to suggest anyone was taking these movies as anything other than what they were intended to be. But like, I just hadn't seen any of them. Anyway, it turns out it doesn't matter. Yeah.

It's barely a movie, barely anything. There's no clear reason why anything happens. Yeah, they have not taken any care to weave together, visually nor script-wise, what's happening to the human characters and what's happening to the monsters. They look and seem story-wise like they're from two completely different things. And one of those things is a PlayStation 4 game.

And, like, I would say my daughter, Gracie, hated the parts with the people. Oh, okay. I have to say... Not a Dan Stevens fan, huh? I was gonna say, like, relative to other movies in this broad category of movies, and I watched the movie Rampage on Blu-ray recently.

Ooh, Blu-ray. So I know a little something about this. I will say... So I know a little something about this. I will say that while they don't do anything for a reason, and their story was inscrutable to me, or possibly absent, hard to say which, every single one of these actors is great.

Yeah, totally. Every single one. The whole time I'm thinking like, gosh, this person's doing a great fucking job. Yeah. Like, think about like you watch a Fast and the Furious movie. Sure. And, you know, like.

And I do. Yeah. I do watch. You watch one of those movies, and you know, like Jason Statham, Jason Statham's, and that's great. He knows how to be in a movie. Right? Some don't.

But then like half the cast, you're like, why is this person in a movie? Sure. This person shouldn't even be on a soap opera. Right. Is this person famous in Brazil for soccer? Yeah. Is that why they're here?

Everyone in Godzilla, X-Kong, Middle of the Earth was great. I was like, man, this person's, I could just watch this person do nonsense. I forget the Middle of the Earth, was great. I was like, man, this person's, I could just watch this person do nonsense. I forget the name of the actor, but the guy who plays the heroic podcaster is great in it. And I like seeing a heroic podcaster on screen. Yeah, I love to see a heroic podcaster.

Now, conspiracy theory podcaster. So he's primarily a hero to my dry cleaner. Right, yeah. Who listens to UFO podcasts really loud. Well, coming up to the counter. Yeah, another thing of like, oh, this is taking, the real world inspiration from this is upsetting. Yeah.

But we don't, you know, in this world, monsters are real, the hollow earth is real, so this guy's, you know, coming from somewhere. Is it Brian Tyree Henry that it is? Oh, I forget the guy's name, but I do. I like him in that and I like him in other things. Yeah, he's great, great in everything. Everybody's great, and also King Kong is great.

Mm-hmm. I like how he makes sweet little faces. He does. He sets traps in this one, too. I'm a big trap guy. Yeah, you trap lover? Oh, a trap movie? Right. I was wondering why you were spreading your feces

on that sharpened stick. And it turns out you're a trap lover. A trap lover. Yeah. Trap beats, trap movies. Yeah, find me in the trap. Jordan Morris, famous quote. I have to say, I have zero complaints about going in cold

to see Godzilla versus Kong 4 or whatever. Might even be the way to go in. Yeah, because otherwise I might expect it to be a different kind of good because one of the other ones was. Does Dan Stevens always do half an Australian accent? Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey doing half an Australian? I was like, he's not even doing a half American, half English accent. He's doing a half-assed Australian accent.

I like it when he takes Kong's tooth out because Kong had a bad tooth. Yeah, he does. And then he brags about it. Yeah. He's a total dick about it. He's like, yeah, check out how fucking great job I did taking that tooth out. I liked how King Kong came to let everybody know

he needed a tooth out. Yeah. He's very expressive. Very expressive. I would say of all the movies I have ever seen, this is the most Dr. DeSoto. Oh, I don't know if I know the reference. I know the reference. Thank you. Oh, Matt, can you explain the Oh, I don't know if I know the reference. Uh, that's the- I know the reference.

Thank you. Oh, Matt, can you explain the reference? I'm so excited that I know it. Yeah. It's uh, he's a mouse doc- He's a doctor who's a mouse. Well, he's a dentist. Who's a mouse.

Who's a mouse. And- Are dentists or doctors? Are they? I think so. We're gonna have to ask our guest in just a second. But we'll have to wait, because I have to explain who Dr. DeSoto is.

Thank you. Yeah. Um, well that's actually kinda it. He's a mouseoto is. Yeah. Um, well, that's actually kind of it He's a mouse that is a dentist. Oh who could be a doctor And he is doing dentistry on a one a big wolf a big wolf who's like he's trying to eat him But then he's like, oh you got something wrong with your teeth and he was in Downton Abbey. He was in Fair with Thomas who later became the butler. Yeah Scandalous. I know juicy. Give butler. Yeah. Scandalous.

I know, it was crazy. So juicy, give me more. Yeah. Give me more juice. Yeah. Did you know the guy who wrote Downton Abbey is in the House of Lords? Yeah.

Make sense? Like he's big old conservative, Julian Fellowes. He's pro that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not commenting on it. He's like, this is point of who? He thinks it's good that there were servants. Sure. I made a television show about the way things should be. It is wonderful. He thinks it's good that there were servants.

I made a television show about the way things should be. It was ridiculous when women wore pants and voted. It was great. I didn't care what women wore pants and voted. Everyone was white and everyone was beautiful, just the way I like it. So anyway, the mouse climbs around in the mouth of the golf.

Just like Dan Stevens does in the mouth of King Kong to explode his tooth out with a helicopter Mm-hmm. Anyway, I just I just was glad I don't know if I would have gone to see it if I hadn't heard you Talking about the rest of them sure so extensively So so knowledgeably, I don't think I don't I don't you know I don't think you need to I think this one of them is the most fun and crazy Okay, I don't think you need to go back, but you might have a nice time if you do. But yeah, this one was pretty bonkers in a way that I thought was really fun.

Yeah, my daughter was like, yeah, there were some parts that maybe felt a little bit racist. And then she was like, but you know, that's true of the Peter Jackson King Kong. And I was like, I like the Peter Jackson King Kong. The level of racism was so high in that movie, I couldn't believe that no one told him. Very thoughtful review from Grace. Yeah, I agree. Grace is a... Grace is an SJW.

I'm very grateful for her. You raised a good snowflake there. That's right. Very glad to have done that. Jesse, good job in planting the woke mind virus into your children. Thank you. Well, first I planted it into my wife and then it blossomed into my children.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yes. But I want to get into this whether dentists or doctors because right before you showed up, Jordan, I found out that our guest's dad was a dentist. Oh my gosh. Or perhaps still is a dentist. This will be fun. let's find out. We're gonna find out.

She's a beloved stand-up comic, a friend of Jordan Jesse Goh. She has a brand new record called Funt. Sierra Cato, hi Sierra. Hey, thank you so much for bringing me into the dental conversation. Yeah. Always nice. Always happy to report.

Of course, we would never put up a dental dam. We just broke the dental dam just first. Oh, well thank you, yes, yes. Yeah, as the spawn of a dentist up a dental dam. We just broke the dental dam just first. Oh, well thank you. Yes, yes. As the spawn of a dentist and a dental hygienist. Oh, okay. Who have retired. That's what they call a tooth power couple.

Yes, yes, definitely. Yeah, are they doctors? I think, you know, I think it's always a joke, right? It's always a joke. Sure. They're not, and then maybe they are. And I don't know. I think you can, it's different, right? Like they gotta do different things.

They gotta do the teeth thing. Would your dad know more doctor stuff than other dads? Yeah, yeah, yes, that's true. But not dentist doctor stuff? He would, I think he does because yeah, they had to go through certain like dissecting human cadavers and stuff to go to dental school.

I remember that distinctly, being like, oh, I don't think I could do that. But that's a thing they had to do, even though they were just doing the mouth later. So yeah, I think it's kind of a little more comprehensive. Anyway, pretty fun. Did he have anything to say about other parts of the body? Not my specialty, not my, I cannot comment.

Hey, if it's outside the mouth, yeah. No, I would say he gets into the kind of weird diets a lot. He kind of would do the like, oh, I'm doing all plant-based or all carnivore and it fluctuates and it's not good for his health and he watches a lot of YouTube videos. So I'm grateful he doesn't go down the YouTube path that a lot of other dads go down, but he does go down some strange nutrition YouTube paths. But how are his teeth?

I think they're fine, but I think like many people in their professions, they maybe don't care about their own as much. Oh, interesting. There's a little bit of like, oh, that's what I do for work, and then I don't know if you do it on me. I don't brush it. I don't take my their own as much. You know? There's a little bit of like, oh, that's what I do for work. And then I don't know if they do it on me. I don't take my work home with me. Exactly, I don't take my work home.

Why would I brush? Why would I floss? No, they're fine, you know? But it's nothing maybe above the usual. That's interesting. I guess I maybe would think that, you know, a dentist would be like, oh my God, I can't go into an appointment with, you know, he would, a dentist would be like, oh my God, I can't go into an appointment with, you know,

yellowed or, you know, teeth, but. You have beautiful teeth, Sarah. Is this why? Within the family, you know, I think he was good to clean the children's teeth, but, and my mom maybe a little bit more, this is the hygienist, that's maybe a little bit more on the like cosmetic side of like, oh, make sure you you're flossing and maybe here you want some whitener

You know, but on the the dental side, maybe it's more just hey, you got a cavity We'll fill that bad boy in you know, when did she start pushing whitener eight? Right in the womb sure You know the baby teeth done first and the new ones will grow in mom drinks whitener in hopes that it Yeah, sure into the child seeps in there somehow did they do your like teeth cleaning and stuff they did Oh wow yeah, I would have I would have assumed that they traded like I would have not traded where your mom did the dentist right here dad did that but like They would send you to someone else's clinic that was like their colleague.

You know what I mean? Or a different dentist in your dad's practice or something like that. We do have lots of friends and that's now that they've retired, I've been referred to a friend of his. But you know, yeah, they kept it in in-house because I was there already.

You know, that was like, I grew up, you know playing behind the charts What's that happening back there checking all the root canals, yeah And I would do some receptionist duties, you know, maybe maybe I held it maybe held a tool or two don't tell Tell Osha Osha. Okay, but you know, hey, maybe I did, I don't know. Matt, Matt, tell Osha, Osha, she admitted it. I'm on the phone with Osha right now. Please Matt. Go, go, go. Matt.

Skylight shatters, ropes drop in. Matt. Osha says you have two choices. No. Heaven or a million dollars. No. Fine, well, I'll take the million, but. Yeah, smart, smart, smart, smart.

Me and Matt, we're going to hell. Yeah. But we're gonna live this life rich as hell. Oh, smart, smart, smart, smart. Me and Matt, we're going to hell. Yeah. But we're going to live this life rich as hell. Oh, you bet. You bet. Were your parents married, dental, hygienist, and dentist team? Right.

At what point did they romance? At what point did they choose their careers? At what point did they come to work together or not? Yeah, so it's all good. Don't you guys worry. I think they met in dental school and then worked separately for a while. Dental school romances.

It gets really cute. Yes, like ooh. Hot, hot, hot. Yeah, yeah, who's flossing who? Who's flossing who? Yes, who's flossing who? Your great new stand-up album, fun. Thank you, thank you.

Your parents were in the audience while you were recording it. That's true, and so was Jordan. And so was I. Thank you so much for coming. Oh my God, it was so much fun. We should explain. Jordan went to dental school with you.

I was just there. It was nothing weird. Nothing weird. That's when they started seeing each other. Me and your dad were wanting to meet up for a drink. He's like, can you come to the taping and we'll go somewhere nearby. Classic dental school shenanigans.

The album's hilarious. So much fun to see. Buy it, listen to it, get it. So, so funny. Serious, the funniest. The album, there's some saucy material about pornographies and such. Oh my God.

Are your parents? You basically, to be clear, you transition directly from introducing your parents into incest porn. Sure, sure, sure. Talking about it, not you. Yeah, just talking about it. Not performing it. Not doing it, yeah.

No, of course, I think I think- Come on up, mom. It's good, yeah. I'm like, listen, it's the big day. You gotta do it for the stage. Yeah, I think they're, you know, I started when I was a teenager. They would drive me to open mics.

They were always very supportive. They kind of, I've sat through, I think the worst is like sitting through other people's sets with them at the time that were like not, you know, the best and then also very raunchy. So that was pretty funny. But I think, you know, as a result, you know, I think we kind of broke that barrier down early.

But then at the same time, they, I also was counting on the fact that they're not the, they don't hear very well. Well, my mom, sorry mother, but yeah. So I think sometimes they're like, oh, you know, you look great, but what did you say? She listens, by the way, so I'm glad. I know, I know. Not well?

Sorry. Not well, but she does listen. But she does. She tries to support. It's kind of a white noise thing for her. We help her get to sleep. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, great voices for that. I mean, you know, so I think that's the thing.

Thank you, thank you. God asleep, serious mom. God asleep, Sarah's mom. Dream of teeth. Tooth dream. Dream of teeth. Dream of teeth. Wishwash, wishwash. This buys me many more years of this career for her,

so that's huge. Thank you for doing that. So when they would take, okay, so you also mentioned in the record that you started doing standupup as a team, right? They would take you make sense everything's adding up so far you're in La Canyada Flint Ridge Somebody's got to give you a ride to the ice house in Pasadena Is that what you were doing open mics? Oh, I mean Burbank Flapper is one of the first really

I would say and then would go to like Comedy Store and Laugh Factory and stuff. So that was a little further. But Ice House was a dream. Very close. Very close. So you're going to these stand-up clubs. Your parents are staying?

Sometimes. Are they sitting with you? Sometimes. Oh my gosh. Wow. I think in the beginning probably. But then of course, it gets to be too much. You gotta drop them off.

Sure. Then I learn how to drive and figure that out. That's really nice and sweet. That's cool, yeah. Yeah, no, very, very cute. And then, you know, I had been a basketball player before and they come to the basketball game. You know, it was kind of like to them,

like, oh, she's doing another hobby. Sure. We should support her. And they would bring orange slices to the Laugh Factory You know, it was kind of like to them, like, oh, she's doing another hobby we should support. And they would bring orange slices to the Laugh Factory to hand out to all their other comics. Yeah, to the potluck host, you know, by their favor. But no, it was, I think, yeah, kind of seeing it as like, okay, she's just going to do this for fun.

And then, you know, it spiraled out. My parents, this came up in therapy not all that long ago. Because my therapist had mentioned to me that her kids had played baseball. I think they played baseball much more seriously than I do. I think they played like in club teams or whatever, you know, played in college or something. But she didn't give me specifics about her family, but it came up.

And she was talking about when you have that serious sports kid lifestyle, driving your kids all over everywhere. And I was like, you know, when I played sports, I took the bus to practice and games, and then I just hoped that someone else's parents would take me home, and if they wouldn't, I'd just take the bus home. She's like, your parents didn't come to your games? I'm like, no, they had stuff to do.

Why would they watch a kid play baseball? That seems like maybe the more normal way to go, I guess. But yeah, maybe they thought you were going, did they know that you were going to baseball? Well, there's a lot of you. They're just like, yeah, he leaves sometimes. I don't know. I feel like it's possible that my friend Jody's parents

signed me up for baseball. And then, yeah, my parents were like, he's been gone a lot, Mondays and Wednesdays from 4 to 6.30. It's probably fine. He's probably just doing drugs. Sure, sure. Now I'm self-conscious.

I don't ask my therapist enough questions about herself. I know. I'm just talking about yacking about me the whole time. I know. Me. I feel like, yeah, with my therapist, if I do, I kind of feel like, oh, am I not supposed to know? You know, sometimes.

Right, yeah. I do teletherapy, so her background will change. I'm like, am I supposed to know where she's at? I don't want to be like creepy, and she has to fear for her life. That is actually a little, I would be, you know, I also do teletherapy, and my therapist background does not change.

Do you think your therapist is like going on the road or something? Oh, I mean, yeah, she'll go, she'll be like doing, I think, like a conference sometimes. Wow, OK. And then sometimes I don't ask, so maybe I should. Sure, sometimes she's doing Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale.

Oh, I mean, yeah, you gotta, you gotta. Great place in the city. Sunnyvale, California. The place in Central Valley. My therapist listens to Hollywood handbooks. Really? Wow. Oh, wow, that's cool.

She's very clear she doesn't listen to any of my podcast You can see she that would be inappropriate. She doesn't think that that would be a Good thing, but she listens to Hollywood handbook and It's because her nephew told her to oh That's pretty cool. If you pay if you paid her yeah, would she listen to your podcast? I could you we could use it. I mean, like, I would have to ask her, because it's, you know, I mean, it's three figures an hour for a therapist these days. Yeah.

She might, I mean, I could submit the Super Bill and see what happens. Could you? I just want to see what she thinks about what's going on with me. OK. We're concerned about that. I'm concerned about me.

Like, am I okay? Should you be submitting the super bill? I mean, if you tell me what that is, sure. Maximum Fund does offer health insurance, so. Yeah, I gotta sign up for that. But see, that's part, that's why I need therapy. Right. To help you sign up for things.

Because you're a procrastinator. Oh God, I just sit in there. I do hate signing up for things. Oh God. You gotta make a new password, new login these days. Can you just send her this podcast and ask, what's up with Matt?

You know how the health insurance companies could defeat me in the war to not spend any money on my health care? Yes. It would be if after I sent in the click the thing that said turn on my health insurance I had to call someone and ask them to yeah, then I just never go to the doctor again That's why I'm still signed up at a gym. Yeah

because I also after I went there and and Signed and what do you call it deactivated my gym account? Yeah, they're like, okay now just call this number and Complete it and I'm like you motherfuckers. That's how they get like, okay, now just call this number and complete it. And I'm like, you motherfuckers. That's how they get you. I love to call. I love to call. You love to make the call? If I could do something via phone call rather than online portal,

even if it was an addition to the online portal, I don't like the online portal so much that I would be like, oh my god, this is great. Even if I had to be on hold for a long time. I feel like, look at me. There's like, on the phone, I feel like I'm interrupting them? Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know what it is about the, like, it's not that I think I'm going to do

a bad job talking to them. Like, for years, I booked Bullseye and had to cold call publicists and stuff and trick them into thinking that it was a good idea to send their clients onto my show that no one listened to. Lots of people listen to this. Sierra. Just here. Lots of people listen to this.

My therapist, Matt's therapist. Who is your therapist? Who is yours now? I think also, I was thinking of the therapist. Just have her listen two times speed. Yeah. That's smart. That's smart.

As long as she doesn't tell us about it, I'm fine with that. Just don't bring it up with us. It's weird. Yeah, I think it's something like I'm imposing on people or... I think something I like so much about the call is that I probably have three other things I'm confused about that I can just knock out in that call. Oh, yeah. That's nice.

I have some floating confusions. I do get worried I can get talked into anything. Okay, sure. So I was trying to, you know, of course, advertisement calls or whatever, I don't pick up spam calls, but I think sometimes I was trying to cancel cable, and it's not getting canceled

because they're talking you down. Cable, you cancel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just went on Twitter, I'm sure. Well, that's what I needed to do, because I feel it's their jobs to talk you back in, and then I don't want to hurt their feelings. I know, I'm like, oh, but I like like, well, that's what I needed to do. Because I feel it's their jobs to talk you back in, and then the Lord hurt their feelings. I know, I'm like, oh, but I like you,

and I want you to do well. And then I'm just back in. And you know, someone in the industry, you don't want to be hurting your own industry by a problem. And they probably use that reason. And I go, yeah, you're right. How'd you know? So it's tough.

I think the greatest fear of my childhood, and I had, you know, junkies broke into my house and shit, but like, I think the thing I was most afraid of was answering the phone, and then one of my parents' friends thinks it's my parents. Like, oh, it says, hi, Judy. That was my worst fear. Because how do you come back from that? I was a little bit afraid.

You just have to pretend to be Judy for years. Right. Every time that friend calls, you have to pick up where you left off. I mean, if that was what this was about, I mean, if it was just about secretly murdering my mother and wearing her clothes around, pretending to be her, that I could obviously do. Sure.

I mean, that's like... You did that and you ran that motel for years. You really should send this to your therapist. I'm just, I'm curious. Yeah, Matt, can you clip out to some moments for her? Hopefully she charges less, a discount for a clip. Yeah, little Instagram reels for the therapist. Oh, yeah, that's convenient.

Can you put them at half speed so she has time to process? Okay, it's gonna increase the cost, but I'm sure it's worth it. You know what? I'm willing to spend the extra money to get the high-quality answer. I don't want her to rush through this thing. How about this? Let's give Matt some time to clip out Jesse's traumas, we'll take a little break, and come back for some more.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Goh. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every episode of Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every episode of Jordan Jesse Goh is brought to you by you.

The listener, the member of MaximumFun.org, thank you members, we really appreciate you. Hope you're enjoying all the member exclusive content that you get for being a member, and if you're not a member, well, you know what to do. Maximumfund.org slash join. We're also supported this week by the good folks over at Zip Recruiter.

Now Jordan. Yeah. I'm a business owner. Mm-hmm. And I know how hard it is to recruit. Oh yeah. There's a finite amount of good quality candidates out there. If you don't act fast,

somebody else is gonna snap them up. Exactly. When you want the best, you gotta be fast. It's like when you're hiring for your business, you wanna find the most talented people for your open roles before the competition scoops them up.

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Just go to this exclusive address right now to try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com slash JJ Go. Again that's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJ Go. ZipRecruiter.com slash JJ Go. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJ Go. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. We're also supported by the microdose folks, LumiLabs. Yeah, Jesse, I am legitimately looking forward to having a LumiLabs microdose gummy when I get home. Oh, that'll be nice.

Will you maybe relax, read a book and do some gaming, and then have a restful sleep? I think so. I think that's what's going to happen. Yeah, it's been a crazy weekend. Lots of excitement. I need to wind down before the work week. Here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to pop a microdose gummy from Lume Labs. It's going to taste great. Super fruity. It's not going to be too much. It's going to be just the right amount of THC. I'm going to chill out, and I'm going to have a great night's sleep. Yeah, I mean, look, if you're a novice to this kind of thing,

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Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. Get 30% off your first order plus free shipping today at microdose.com, promo code JJGO. It's available nationwide. That's microdose.com promo code JJ go it's available nationwide that's microdose.com promo code JJ go for 30% off and free shipping microdose.com promo code JJ go. Jesse can I share a little bit of book news with people what's the book news bud well

if you're listening to this the week comes out I will be at the yallWest YA Book Festival, May 3rd and 4th in beautiful Santa Monica. May 3rd, that's a ticketed event. May 4th, free for everybody. Tons of fun events, talks, panels, games, game shows. It's gonna be a blast. Lots of great authors there. Yeah, I would love to see some folks. We're gonna be selling books, signing books, giving away books.

You can look at that schedule at yallwest.com. And even if you can't make it out to the event, you can buy books through the YallWest website, and some of that money goes to cool programs for kids in underfunded public schools. So yeah, if you want to preorder our new graphic novel Youth Group, if you want to copy a bubble, if you want anything written by the fine folks at YallWest, the money goes to a good cause, and you get yourself

a nice book out of the deal. That's a great time for all you librarians out there in the Jordan Jessi Goal listening audience. Actually, let me reverse that. For you, the non-librarian in the Jordan Jessi Goal listening audience. You, the one guy. Don't worry about whether you should go to YallWest.

For all the rest of you, do go to Yall West and check out Jordan's new book too. I like that. And hey, one more thing I do want to say, R.E., new upcoming book, Youth Group, from me and Bowen McGurdy, the YA horror comedy. It sucks. No, Jesse, it's really good.

You were just gonna say, I thought you said, I got the impression you were gonna say that it sucked. That'd be a fun marketing technique. Just undersell it. Just say there's one thing is that it doesn't suck. No, but then people would read and go, it's pretty good, he was wrong. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot for the next round of promo. But I did get a nice message, a lovely DM from someone who pre-ordered it from a local indie bookstore. I haven't gotten one of those messages in a while, and I was thrilled to get it. This person got it from Print a Bookstore in Portland, Maine. They're online at printbookstore.com.

Looks like a gorgeous store with a lot of fun events. Printbookstore.com. You can pre-order Youth Group there or anywhere you get a book. And if somebody pre-orders it in their local indie bookstore and they send you a note that says that they did that and what the bookstore is, you're down to plug the bookstore.

I'm plugging local indies on the show. This is exposure, national exposure for your local store. And this show does not go out internationally, I guess I should say. Yeah, no, we don't... We have what's called geogating. Right. It's been instituted by the European Union to prevent our program from spreading around American borders.

That's okay, we didn't need the Swedes anyway. Yeah, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Yeah, sorry. The ground water's polluted. Yeah, it's a mess. It's a mess.

What did you do when other kids were afraid to go to the den? Did anyone you did? Oh my god. Sorry, I'm getting back to this dentist thing. Sure, it's a rich vein. Sure. Has any of your friends ever gone to get dental care from your dad?

I guess like cousins, probably. OK. I don't know if my, not my school friends. Cousins are not friends. Cousins are enemies. Yeah, you're right. Cousins are not friends, cousins are enemies. Yeah, you're right. Cousins are a type of enemy. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, you gotta fight them.

Their moms are too much like your mom. And you can't have that. Yeah. Because then how do you know who you are? Sorry, Deb. Yeah. You're at least half my mom and it's not gonna cut it. Ah, Auntie Deb.

I do have an Auntie Deb. She's, I don't know. You got a Deb? Yeah, I got a Deb. Everyone's got a Deb. She prefer Deb or it. Aw, Auntie Deb. I do have an Auntie Deb. She's... You got a Deb? Yeah, I got a Deb. Everyone's got a Deb. She prefer Deb or Debbie? Mm, Deb, I think. I always knew Deb is Deb. Nice. But when I've been back there lately,

she's going by Debbie. Whoa, whole new woman. If you need a lifestyle... By the way, if you need a lifestyle transition real estate agent in the Northern Virginia area, go talk to Debbie Miller. Wow. She's gonna hook you up. I feel like a real fucking chump.

I don't got a Deb. Oh, I'm sorry. I've got to get a Deb. I mean, we can introduce you to my Deb. Could you please? I don't know. She'll take you. Will she be my aunt?

I know a 41-year-old guy who needs a... She might be overbooked, but you know, sure. Yeah, she can squeeze me in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see. You know what? I mean, Lynn, listen, I don't want to throw shade at Carol or Sandra. Yeah.

These are two great ants. Sandra. That's great, actually. Regular ants who are great. Can I suggest something, Jordan? Just get Sandra a ball gown and sign her up for a few balls, and she's a Deb. Oh.

That might work. That's so crazy, it just might work. That's a secret. That's the Deb secret. Mom, what's Auntie Sandra's address? I have to send her a gown. Yes, I've lost it. And they have to bring her to New Orleans or something. Somewhere that has those. She loves New Orleans.

Oh, well then, she's got access to these balls. She can go to these balls and is seeing a fucking harpy. Yeah, she might be already going. As long as it's the right season. Of course, well, you know, I'm not going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there.

I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I got access to these balls. She can go to these balls in a fucking heartbeat. Yeah, she might be already going. As long as it's the right season.

Of course, well, yeah. That's right. You ever go to any dental conventions? Dental conventions. Dental. Did you go to dental conventions? Basically, like balls. Did you travel with your parents to?

Yes, yes. It was a big, it was very, very honestly the best, some of the best trips. Oh my gosh. Because you could go to the dental conventions, and honestly the best, some of the best trips. Oh my gosh. Because you could go to the dental convention, sometimes they give you, they used to give you so much free toothbrushes and little stuffed animals sometimes. Oh my gosh, yeah.

And then, you know, as the years passed, they got less free with that. Maybe because I got older, uglier, or maybe they got cheaper, which is probably a little bit of both. Yeah. Well, dental care's been getting cheaper and cheaper. Sure. So that's probably what's going on in my experience.

Oh, okay. I just. Fair. I've been using my old dentist in West Hollywood forever. I live in Alta Dena now, and I'm like, this has gotta stop. I'm trucking it over there. I mean, I like my tent just a lot, but it was just like, this is too much, what am I doing?

And it's just like, and it's my portal thing. It just takes so long to like sign up for a new medical professional. I'm just like, I'm in with these people, I am in their system. Like, I get a fucking text on my birthday. You know? They know the choppers.

They know the choppers. They, but someone else gets They know the choppers. But someone else gets you on the phone, you're signing up with them tomorrow. I mean, I don't mean to poach you, but I could probably see maybe some of my, the guy I'm going to now, friend of the family. I did find a new dentist in Altadena.

Oh, can't beat that. Wanna guess what it's called? Alta dentist. It's called? Altadentist. It's called Altadental. Wow. Yeah, I know. I'm so excited to go. I have an appointment for later this month.

Altadental. I've been going to the dentist. Great guess, you're up that way. Great guess. I got a nice, chill dentist in El Sereno. Mm. Very nice, very nice dude saw me. He's like, his assistant is like,

when do you want to come in? And I'm like, I don't know. Do you have something in the morning? She's like, how does seven sound? I'm like, all right, sure, fuck it. I go to the dentist at 7 AM now. That's how old I am. Yeah, let's do it.

And it's a real relief because it is in. That's great to go early, because you're not supposed to eat anything, so you're not, like, spending, you know, four hours being all starving. Exactly. And it's in a, you know, a strip mall with a dollar store and a taqueria, which is where I want to be.

Yeah. Especially because, as we've discussed on this program before, I previously had been going to this beautiful Korean dentist in Koreatown, right half a mile from where we are. This man had cheekbones, like full soap opera star, good looks, and just surrounded by these beautiful,

every, it was just him and just 12 beautiful women that worked in his office with this classical music playing over the stereo. It was like, it was a level of pressure that I could not deal with. Right. And like giant big screen TVs playing like silent, silent things, like nature scenes or something.

It was like so overwhelming, the level of glamor going on in this dentist's office. And just being able to just wander in and like the dentist unlocks the door and say, yeah, come on in. Yeah, right. And I mean, you know, sometimes you worry, you're like, I don't wanna be, you know, paying the premium for those cheekbones. Right, sure. You, you know, sometimes you worry you're like I don't want to be you know Paying the premium for those cheekbones, right?

You know how much the TV's cost? Yeah Minimum of 40 per like did I pick this dentist simply because it was the one closest to the office that had more than four Yelp stars. Yes, I did But when I got there I found that I was paying a 50% beautiful cheekbone premium bargain at twice the price. For this man and his fucking piercing eyes. You know what I mean? Just like laser eyes on me.

And all these beautiful people everywhere. And there was like this... At one point, I would be taken through the process, because I got Invisaligns. I'd be taken through the process of the Invisaligns by this woman who, um... Well, there was just a broad variety of, like, cultural perspectives in the office, right?

So the dentist himself didn't really speak English. Uh, and this woman... The teeth are the universal language. Exactly. This woman was... Mm... I mean, like, if I was gonna guess, I would guess that she was either his business partner or his dom.

Hard to say for sure. But she just had this, like... She was maybe 55. Also extraordinarily beautiful. And, like, she was maybe 55, also extraordinarily beautiful. And like, she was there to just full on Alec Baldwin me into buying tooth shit. Yeah, sure. Just like, she just sit me down.

There's a line. This like beautiful, this like beautiful woman who, she was not wearing like, black rubber clothing, but could have been. You know what I mean? Could have been. Probably underneath the lab coat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, the authority that she... And it wasn't that she was, like, being mean to me.

It was just she had that... She was just serious. She was just on it. So on it. And she'd be... She'd say, of course you'll be wanting this. And she'd look at me with her beautiful eyes and I'd be like, ah, yeah, can I decide later? See again, why I can't do phone calls.

It's like you don't want to disappoint even through the phone. I got to go to Matt's gym. I would say. My lifetime membership. But I'm so glad I got this, I got this chill El Sereno dentist now. I always eat before the dentist.

Oh yeah? Yeah, is that fun? I make a point to do it. You know what I do? I eat Kool-Aid powder before the dentist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could, they're the ones, because they're gonna clean the teeth, right?

Yep, and it's the- I'm creating jobs. I get the, I could they're the ones because they're gonna clean the teeth, right? Yeah, and it's the I'm creating jobs I get the I eat the unsweetened kind to just that's just like fuck me. Yeah Fuck me. Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah, fuck the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I also you know, I later at the movie theater Oh cool. You guys ever do that? Dude, you seem really cool. Yeah, I'm kind of badass Yeah, this guy's got loose cannon. Yeah, I'm kind of a badass. Yeah, this guy's got loose cannon. Yeah, I just do whatever. Can I ask you guys a serious question?

Do you guys ever eat that Kool-Aid when you were a kid, eat the Kool-Aid powder, and you think it's going to taste like Kool-Aid, but it tastes like a nightmare because it doesn't have any sugar in it? Yes. OK, great. Yes. Not just me, then.

Not just me. I had a version of that, yeah. What was your version of that? I tried to get Kelpico concentrate. Oh, what's that? It's that Kelpico drink, which is something at a lot of Asian markets I would imagine. I think it's Korean, but maybe I'm wrong.

But it's like a soft drink. And then I got the concentrate version, which I thought would be it. I didn't realize. And then it was like a goopy, interesting thing that I got to dilute pretty hard, but it didn't, I don't know. I think I got the ratio wrong.

You ever get Pokari sweat powder? I see that around sometimes. Yummy, yeah, yeah. I'm tempted every time, every single time. Mix that in. Yeah, I think a little combo of all those things might be the right mix. A little bit of aid, a little combo of all those things might be the right mix. A little bit of aid.

A little Bokkari sweat powder. Sure. A little bit of sweat. A little bit of... A dash of kelp. Kelp. Kelpico goop. Yeah. I believe that's what it's called.

And then, of course, a little bit of octopus. Ooh. That way it can predict soccer games. Sure. I think we were talking about that off mic. Oh, were we? I don't know. I think we were talking about that off mic. Oh, were we? We had a really fun octopus chat off mic.

Okay, thank you for that, Jordan. And Jesse did a great callback to it. When something momentous happens to you, like you do a callback to something that the audience didn't hear, give us a call, 206-984-4FUN, or just send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. This person did that and this is what they said to their message or their phone on a

voice memo. Jeff Z calling in for you. Or returning to the message. Bumper sticker is by default on a sheet. Now, pause this, Matt, because now I gave the wrong, I'm embarrassed because I gave the wrong. Just to explain to you, Sierra, obviously we have our famous segment, Momentous Occasions, that we've been doing forever.

But we also have a lot of other signature segments that are ideas that we've thought of because of our hard work. It's not just callers who want to tell us about something and then claim that it's part of a recurring segment in the hopes that they'll get on the air. This is like different ideas that we have because we're very creative and hardworking. Thank you, Matt. I was just driving behind a Jeep and had a bumper sticker if you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair which is somewhat of a common bumper sticker except this one was written in the Disney font and

had a picture of Tinkerbell next to it for some reason so now all I can think about is Tinkerbell having rough sex and hopefully now you are too this is Tim by the way in St. Petersburg, Florida. Have a great day. Oh, it was Tim! It was Tim! I would never think about that. It was Tim!

I would never think about that, Tim. I'm thinking of David Spade from The Emperor's New Groove having rough sex. Ooh! I would never think of Tim. Before or after transforming? With him, a human version having sex with the llama version. Oh, even better, even better.

Because of a spell. Because of a spell, because of Yzma. Because of Yzma, yes. Tinkerbell, I would say that Tinkerbell has the least direct meaning of any commonly licensed character, like the least specific content, if it weren't for Betty Boop.

Like, I don't think... I don't know if I've ever seen a Betty Boop cartoon. You know what I mean? Right. Like, I don't know what Betty Boop represents if it's not a bumper sticker or a tattoo. Yeah, sure. I think it's a sass, like a sexy, like you're sexy.

Yeah, like you have a big- You wanna project sexiness. You're sexy with a big football head, like the baby from Family Guy. Yeah, yeah. Have you never seen a Betty Boop before? I don't, I mean, I know she goes boop boop-y-doop, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think I've seen more than her going boop boop-y-doop. So, Betty don't think I've seen more than her going boop boop be do So Betty Boop I watched one like not too long ago, and the cartoon is you watched a boop And it is the joke is wouldn't it be funny if people sexually harassed Betty Boop Yeah, it's so strange. Oh, Betty. You realize once you watch, you go, oh, this is very like the roaring 20s.

Like the roaring 20s was all about sexually harassing Betty Boop? Yeah, essentially. It's just like, you know, what if we sexually harassed a flapper? I think they were called flappers. Oh yeah. It's not just a comedy club in Burbank.

Oh, what? So does she just go around saying boop boop-y-doop? She ends. That's like her gag. That's her that's all, folks. What happens? Like somebody wolf-issles at her and then falls in a hole or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Essentially. Oh, they fall in the hole. Yeah, no, she's fine. But she's being chased. And then she's like, oh, who me? Boop, boop, be-doop. She does something sexy accidentally

that turns everyone on and turns them. She turns into a llama and has sex with the llama version of herself? Exactly, yes. Oh, wow. That's where you got that from. That's insane. Do you think you could put Tinker Bell

next to a bumper sticker that says, ass, cash, or grass, nobody rides for for free You can do anything you set your mind to Probably fire up Canva Yeah, you can do that on can't I think so you can do that I knew pretty much anything on you know, whatever you want to on camera, you know what you're doing Yeah, you can put Tinkerbell on fucking in bro, I 9-11.

There is a big. Never forget. Tinkerbell. Yeah, yeah, she's one of the, you know. Disney, she remembers our first responders. Mm-hmm. I think there is a big, you know, kind of underground merch scene for Disney adults.

I think if you go on Etsy or something, you can get a lot of t-shirts that mash up Disney characters and wine. You can get a bibbity-bobbity booze. I've been trying to find, is there a Tinkerbell that says all lives matter? I'm sure. Sure, she's spelling it out with her wand.

I bet there is that shit. 100% there's that shit. She's got the, you know. Matt, you have a computer, find us one. Give it a quick. And don't just go on Canva. I'm gonna make one. Alright, I'll find out. You guys talk about something while I'm finding out.

Sure, sure. I mean, definitely Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell definitely, like, as a bumper sticker for, like, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Sure. There's no question about that. I'm just wondering where the line is drawn. Yeah. I mean, I think that, like, I think that you can just operate one of those online stores

until Disney tells you to take it down and you just put it up with a new name. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to change a couple things, just put it up with a new name. Yeah. Oh yeah, you gotta change a couple things probably. Her signature look. Sure. You gotta give her another, different shoes maybe. Yeah, you just swap out Tinkerbell

for the next sexiest Disney character, the Pixar lamp. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I looked up Tinkerbell right wing memes. What do we got, Matt? The only thing I have is a really fatphobic one that says Tinkerbell and her cousin Taco Bell, which is, you know, this is all cheap stuff. That's not dank at all.

It's not dank. That is not even the least bit dank. It's a right-wing meme, you know? Some of those memes are pretty dank, though. Yeah, there's some, like, sure. I mean, some of those memes are pretty dank though. Yeah, there's some, like, sure. I mean, some of those memes are dank enough to get an alleged criminal elected president. That's very true.

Like when the minion is saying my pronouns are taco burrito. Yeah. Those minions, they don't care about pronouns. They don't care about anything. They really are despicable. They are despicable. Despicable who? Oh, I found a devil.

Hold on. I found a death. A Tinkerbell devil. It says if you can't be good, be good at it. And it doesn't say what that means, but she's like What would the it be? I think like... Doing a January 6th? Storming the Capitol.

Tinkerbell took a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk. Tinker, I'm getting at that shit. I'm sitting here, I'm Googling, Tinkerbell was a false elector? She was on a false elector slate from Anaheim. I didn't even know Anaheim had a slate of electors, but. Do we think the Lost Boys grew up to become Pro Boys? Maybe.

Probably. The one with the top hat, definitely. The one with the top hat, definitely. I will say this. I don't know if Joe Rogan has a podcast network, but the Lost Boys definitely have a podcast in that network. Yeah. Oh, god.

You're right. You're right. 100%. And one of them's like, I'm a degenerate gambler. That's what he says. I'm a total fucking degenerate gambler. What's the line, he says. Well, should we give Matt a couple more minutes

to research right wing Disney memes and then come back for a little bit more? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Dissego. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. All right, class. the second I joined this school. All right class, tomorrow's exam will cover the science of perfect pitch, the history of pride flags and speed running video games. Any questions? Ah yes, you in the back. Uh, what is this? It's the podcast, Let's Learn Everything.

Where we learn about science and a bit of everything else. My name's Tom, I study cognitive and computer science, but I'll also be your teacher for intermediate emojis. My name's Caroline and I did my masters in biodiversity conservation and I'll be teaching you intro to things the British Museum stole. My name's Ella, I did a PhD in stem cell biology, so obviously I'll be teaching you the history of fan fiction. Class meets every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

So do I still get credit for this? No. No. Obviously not. No. It's a podcast. Hi, this is Biz, and this is the final season of One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting.

This is going to be a year of celebrating all that makes this podcast and this community magical. I'm so glad that I found your podcast. I just cannot thank you enough for just being the voice of reason as I'm trying to figure all of this out. Thank you and cheers to your incredible show and the vision you have to provide this space for all of us.

This is still a show about life after giving life. And yes, there will be swears. You can find us on MaximumFun.org. And as always, you are doing a great job. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. And Sierra Cato, Dental Damn Breaker. I want to give a shout out to Taco Stew 64 on DeviantArt.

I just searched for Tinker Bell memes. I figured I wouldn't limit it just to... I'm above politics, personally. Yeah, sure. As an NPR journalist, I don't even... We need to come together now more than ever. Yeah, I really agree. I think we should have a national dialogue on unity.

Thank you. What about that? That would be nice. This is a... So this meme... This was the first one that came up. Mm-hmm. It... The first one. I want to emphasize, the first one. This is the most popular one. It's a picture of Tinkerbell, you guys can see,

it's just a picture of Tinkerbell. There she is. She's got her magic dust around her. And it says, fellow reminder that Tinkerbell is still Disney's most recognizable female mascot and one that still kept a special place in my heart. That's in the meme format. the most recognizable female mascot and one that still kept a special place in my heart. That's in the meme format. That's in big meme letters.

That's what happens when you give mom a meme maker. You know what I mean? She's just like, I've always liked. I can put text on this. She just put, I've always liked Tinkerbell there. It's just genuine, genuine facts. Sure, these are just facts. Some memes can be facts. It's just genuine facts. Sure. These are just facts.

Memes can be facts. Memes can be facts. Tacos264, apparently very productive. Just cranking them out. This person also, this one is a sort of meme format with two different Tinkerbells. So one is like a full body Tinkerbell. One is an upper torso Tinkerbell. Sort of like the Drake yes no or something like that.

And it says, ah yes, a true Disney icon. You know what I think this is? You know what I think is going on? OK, wait, there's this one. This one is very dang. Oh, sure, OK. This one is by Taco Stew 64. It's a picture of Tinkerbell, and she's sort of like, she's sort of like doing a side-eye kind of thing,

like looking up into the corner like, come on, give me a break, Peter Pan. And then it says, Tinkerbell is so damn cute. Oh, he's just got a little crush. He's got a little crush. To taco stew. Oh, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Here's a really dank one.

Okay. So this one is a picture of... And now it just says, let's go Brandon, right? It's so dank. This one is a picture... It's so dank, dude. This one is a picture of Tinkerbell. She's like looking around.

This is from the movie Peter Pan. And then the text says, Tinkerbell! Exclamation point. Oneimation point one. Here she is! Yeah. You know what I think is going on, especially what the first one is kind of suggesting to me? Yeah.

It's like there is a legion of online dudes who are mad that cartoon and video game characters, the female ones, are now being rendered and drawn with more realistic proportions. I get the sense that maybe this guy is like, they don't make them like Tink anymore. Where's the tits on the incantos? Okay, well, this one I like, because this one is Tinkerbell,

and this one is an animated one. So she's spinning around and admiring how beautiful she is, and it says 2016 will be my year. Well, nothing wrong with that, I'm sorry. That one's fine, that was a good year for all of us. Some people's year. Yeah, all over everywhere. We don't know if I wasn't in taco stew

Tacos 264. Yes. Yeah tacos 264. This is so these are 2016 Era memes for him. We do not know if tacos to has been radicalized. Okay, I found Tinkerbell memes gateway to our civilization. Yeah, exactly. I know. It's like the wellness to the pipeline. That's right. You could be by a crystal, and the next thing you know, you're...

You know what? I'm going to join Facebook.com slash Tinkerbell Fan Club. Because this meme says, all the best fairies get angry sometimes. Hey, I like that. It's pretty inclusive. It's really true. Three dimensional. I don't know how you found these like normal ones.

I got just a bunch of fan art. There's one of Tinkerbell having sex with a cockroach. Oh. Cause they're the same size, you know. I don't like it. She's limited to small. This one says scaling the magic isn't easy, I don't like it. She's limited to small. Bugs. Yeah, bugs. This one says, scaling the magic isn't easy,

but it's worth it. Spread a little around you every day. I like it. This next one is, Tink fucking Jiminy Cricket. Oh, hey, yeah, actually. I gotta see what Google you're using. That's good. Yeah, sure.

They're both kind of small companions who are helping their main lead. Maybe they're tired of that. Maybe they want to be the main lead. Yeah, sure, and they see in each other like, oh, you get me. You're always a companion. They're both in the Disney opening credits, you know? Well, one is the song that Jiminy Cricket sings, and the other is Tinkerbell flying.

Oh, this one is a Tinkerbell eating another Tinkerbell's pussy. Oh, see that? Now we're on the same page. Now we're starting to merge. You're speaking my language. See, those are both Tinkerbells, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Someone just put the action figures in that position.

Two action figures. I don't know. I mean, what else are you gonna do when you have two Tinkerbells? Sure, right? They can only go on so many picnics before they start. Here we go.

This one is really good. This one is from hashtag the Rebbe. The subject is Funny Tinker Bell for sale, up to off 69%. Stay calm. When things don't work out, relax. Even if it's all your fault and you deserve everything you're getting, trust in G-D. That is all for the good and stay calm. When he sees how much you trust in him, he will make it for the good.

Keep calm and carry on, it's a little catchier. Yeah. No, I like long, long better. Yeah, yeah. And then they censored God. That's true, yeah. Maybe it wasn't God, maybe it's Gad. Maybe it's Josh Gad. Josh Gad.

It's a Rebbe. Thank God. Yeah, yeah. Get some Olaf in there. Sure. maybe it's Gat. Maybe it's Josh Gat, maybe it's Josh Gat. It's a Rebbe. Thank Gat. Yeah, yeah. Get some Olaf in there. Rebbe's can't. Sure. Praise Olaf. O-L-F.

You don't want to spell Olaf. A Rebbe can't write out God. You have to write G-D. Here's another good one from hashtag the Rebbe. Oh, cool. Nothing can hold you back, not your childhood, not the history of a lifetime, not even the very last moment before now. In a moment, you can abandon your past.

And once abandoned, you can redefine it. Why you could leave your family? Dang. This person murdered someone. Oh, yeah, for sure. Seems likely, right? That makes sense. My wife didn't like my Tinkerbell art.

Oh, here's a nice one. This one is a picture of like a cartoon,'t like my Tinkerbell art. Oh, here's a nice one. This one is a picture of like a cartoon, like a cute Tinkerbell. Like not from the movie, but probably from a kids TV show of some kind. And she's like, she's doing like a little thinking face. And it says, I just wish for happy. Aww. Don't we all?

Matt, can you do me a favor? I want to talk to Sierra about a new album. Please. While we're doing that, can you go on Etsy and find a great Disney wine mom shirt that is definitely unlicensed? You got it. 100%. We'll close on that.

100%. Not every morning is magical. That's true. Hey, look at her. Get Tinkerbell or coffee and nobody gets hurt. That's right. She can't kill you with magic. She has attack spells.

Sierra, Funt. Where does the name come from? It's in the special somewhere. Yes, it's Funt. I don't want you to give away a punch line. Oh, yeah, it's fine. Funt, right, because I am an auntie now. Not as good as Deb. No, well.

Never, never can talk Deb. But yes. Debbie, she goes by Debbie now. Oh, sorry. Debbie. Yeah, so I think I am a font, and that's where it comes from. And yeah, they. That's how it reads too, like when you see the cover

and you haven't heard the album yet. Right. That's definitely what you're going to do. I mean, that's exactly where the mind goes, I think. I think it reads too, like when you see the cover and you haven't heard the album yet. Right. That's definitely what you're gonna do. Yeah, yeah, I mean that's exactly where the mind goes. I think so too, I think so too. So that's why I did that and then, you know, we'll see if people get it, you know? I mean, I did see it live.

You did see it live. So you can't do that, it's over. But if you wanna see the recorded versions, I noticed it up on Apple Music. Oh yes, yes, it's on Apple Music, as an album on Spotify and stuff, and then it's, like, as a special on Amazon Prime video and Apple TV and YouTube,

and among some other things, too, that are less popular, but I think they're out there. Yeah, watch it. See if you can see my head or something. Yeah, actually, though. You know what? I say watch it in four minute chunks on Quibi. There you go. Well, yeah.

That's if you hit a big. If it hits a certain number of streams, maybe. Maybe you'll get that Quibi push. Yeah, yeah. But I post a lot of clips on Instagram too. So if you're not one to shell out the money, you can follow me on Instagram. I hit the algo on Quibi, not to brag, but.

Congratulations, dude. Yeah, he's really rich. I got the algo on Quibi, not to brag, but. Congratulations, dude. Yeah, I'm really rich. I got a lot of confused old Hollywood pupils. Wow. That's in the dream. Jeffrey Katzenberg, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, he gave me all his money.

So you and Idris Elba could race stock cars, I think? Something like that. Oh, that's good, yeah. Yeah, I made a movie with Christoph Waltz. Congratulations. Full feature film in four minute blocks. Oh my god, amazing. Good and everything.

Quick bites. Good and everything, including the quick bites. That's what it stood for, 100%. Anyway, I'm on the Roku channel now. Funt. Funt, it's everywhere, you should listen to it. I had a great time watching it. I think you'll have a great time

ingesting it. However you please. Isolate Jordan Morris' laugh. Yeah, find my laugh, find my head if you look at the video. Matt, we got a Disney wine mom shirt to go out on. So many. Too many. You can have a top three if you want to. By the way, please post on Instagram

your Jordan, Jesse, Go! Tinkerbell memes. Oh, please. Yeah. Hashtag them, JJGo, and tag us so that we will see them and so that we can share them in our stories. Yeah, post them on Reddit. We want to see, you know, we'll even open it up to characters from The Emperor's New Groove. How about that?

That sounds great. I mean, if you can top Tacos264, I don't know. Oh, yeah. That's quite a... No, no you can top Taco Stew 64, I don't know. That's quite a... No, no one can. He's the king. That's quite big shoes to fill. Yeah.

If you come at the king, you best not miss. Yeah. Okay, so... Burrito Stew 64, making a plan right now. Making a plan right now. Oh, poor Burrito Stew. So, I'm just gonna give you just the top three okay number Should we start with number three start with number three okay number three all right?

It's a shirt. It says this mom runs on Disney wine and Amazon Prime Might be a Sam Riegel No. She's, yeah, hit the big blimp. I think she's watching that new Lord of the Rings thing, man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's really good. Critical Role might be a Sam Riegel fan. Yeah, probably a big Sam Riegel fan, probably. Maybe a little Jack Reacher. Maybe a little Reacher. This guy, this woman just loves streaming.

Anything streaming, you know? Loves to stream. But not Netflix. No. No, no, no. Just Disney, Warner, and Amazon Prime. Think she does freebie? She likes how they put ads in there now.

Yeah. Yeah. Big A mod. I'll give them another five bucks or something. I'm glad everyone's making money. Me too. OK, so another shirt is, do you guys remember the Seagulls from Finding Nemo?

Do I? You remember? These guys were total fucking goofballs. Yeah. You remember what they said? What did they say? They said, mine, right? You remember? Mine? This one just says, you remember what they said? What did they say? They said, mine, right? You remember the mine?

This one just says, wine. Ah! Wine, wine. Ah! Ah! Fucking bubble wine. I was right there. It was right there.

Fucking alcoholic seagulls. You just, you kinda kick yourself for nothing. Exactly, I know, yeah. We could be Etsy rich. Oh, God. Last but not least, this is number one, my favorite. And this is not a shirt, it's a wine glass with a picture, a silhouette of Tinker Bell.

And what does it say above it? Drinker Bell. Yes! Just absolutely. Drinker Bell. Incredible. Drinker Bell. Drinker Bell. Love it. Just Drinker Bell. Drinker bell. Drinker bell. Love it.

Just drinker bell. That absolute icon. Yeah. Icon. I found one that I really liked. It's a picture of the magical stepmother from Cinderella. And it says, essential oils have magical powers. Oh, gosh.

Yeah. Essential oils cure cancer, it says. Oh my god. Sure. Yeah. Essential oils cure cancer, it says. Oh. Yeah. Well, what a fun episode, huh? I don't know. I get a B minus. You didn't love it?

Okay. Well, everybody has their favorites. Yeah. I usually listen on double speed to get it over with. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I found another. Yeah, what else you got there?

The last thing, but it's just a shirt and it's got Cinderella on it and It's she's she's twerking and it says a toy CP It says a twerk is a wish your booty makes but in the Disney font Can you get a bibbity-bobbity booze? Oh, there's definitely bibbity-bobbity booze Let me look if not don't release this episode until I can go on Etsy and make a shop. There's Bibbidi Bobbidi Booze. It exists. I'm sorry.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is there Bibbidi Bobbidi Boobs? Fairy Godmother. Oh, I can't. It says Safe Searches On. That's where Disney does them, right? It says Safe Searches On.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. You get the Fairy Godmother kind of in a low-cut cloak. Fairy Godmommy. Oh, yes. She was thick. Serif, you like him? Serifado, if people want to see you in real life,

are you headed out anywhere? I'm mainly in LA. I would say I'm doing, I'm opening for my friend Joe Wong for the Netflix is a Joke Festival in May. Hey. That's fine. Joe Wong, very funny. I really love Joe.

Yeah, get that. Unlike that lady in her Amazon Prime, some of us watch Netflix. Different streaming services for different folks. Hell yeah. But yes, no Jack Reacher on Netflix. I'm going to the Tooby Festival. Oh, I mean, hey, Netflix or Tooby.

Chuck Norris doing stand-out. Oh, good, yes. Chuck Norris opening for Tyler Perry. Yeah. That will be the best night of your life. Pretty great. Most ambitious crossover in history, as they say. Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait. I'll wait. Tinkerbell and Booze, I'm thinking.

Tinkerbell and Booze, they're pretty iconic. Getting hammer wait. Tinkerbell and booze, I'm thinking. Tinkerbell and booze, they're pretty iconic. Getting hammered. Drinkerbell. Drinkerbell. Tinkerbell and problem drinking. Just... Broken...

Tinkerbell, let me put it this way. Tinkerbell and a string of broken lives. Yes. Like, just all the people she's really... Mm-hmm. ...trot upon, because they got between her and the bottle. Okay.

Matt Lieb is the producer of the show. Brian Sunny D. Fernandez, our producer emeritus. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Our thanks to them. You can join us on Reddit at maximumfund.reddit.com, on Facebook, facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo. Like us there. At JordanDavid jordandavidmorris at, uh, jessethorn,

very famous on Instagram. Uh, do follow me on that new account. It's a new account, Jordan. New account. New account. Full of fun. And you know what? I actually have homework for people.

Once they're done with their, uh, posting their Tinkerbell Jordan Jesse Go memes, uh, which please do post those. Yeah, we'd love to see them. Tag us, hashtag us, hashtag us, hashtag us, hashtag us, we'll read some on the next show. I also need scruffy dog accounts to follow. Okay.

Obviously, I'm already following City Willie and Allie Dewis play, but I'm gonna need more scruffy dogs. And I don't want, like... I'm not really into, like, that thing where it's like, this dog's so ugly, he's cute. Like, that's fine. But the novelty doesn't, I sometimes think the dog is cute,

but like the novelty doesn't do that much for me. I just wanna look at- Or down the middle cute dog. Yeah, I want, well, down the middle of a dog that looks like it could carry a hobo bindle. Gotcha, yeah. Oh, okay, now I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's clear. I want Benji okay. Now I know what you're talking about. That's clear.

I want Benji-style dogs. The broad category is Benjis. And then whatever else. I've tried searching for Benjis of Instagram. Sure. Hashtag Benjis of Instagram. But yeah, send those my way. I wanna see them at Jesse Thorne, very famous.

Please, I need some good follows. All the way up to Irish Wolfhounds. Okay. If you got an Irish Wolfhound to send me. These the way up to Irish Wolfhounds. OK. If you've got an Irish Wolfhound to send me. These are laid out the parameters. I prefer mutts. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. I do love you