Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Tyler Perry's Power Rangers, with Quincy Johnson II

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

This week we had stand up comedian Quincy Johnson II on the podcast discussing favorite cupcakes, favorite dinosaurs, and what if Tyler Perry made the Power Rangers.Check out Quincy's comedy album here!Join Maximumfun.org/join and listen to JJGo's new bonus episode of Gracie's Game Gauntlet where they talk about the video game Shaq Fu and the movie Kazaam.Also, listen to Free With Ads with Jordan Morris and Emily Fleming. Also, listen to their bonus content by joining Maximumfun.org/join  and you can hear them talk about TV pilots like Alf or Street Fighter The Animated Series.Are you in Los Angeles on June 13th? Come see a Live Bullseye in Pasadena at the Crawford with guest Paul Sheer. Go to LAist.com for tickets.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy, detective. Jordan, do you know how I have been working on this thing

where now that I basically live in my shed, I've constructed a shed in my backyard because my children have taken over my office in the house. Are you part of that big Instagram trend, shed life? Yeah, hashtag shed life. The problem with vans, they move around. The shed stays put. Better than vans.

I'm into hashtag shed life because I love peeing out in the bushes behind the shed. Have you been pissing behind the shed? I try not to pee the hashtag shedlife because I love peeing out in the bushes behind the shed. Have you been pissing behind the shed? I try not to pee behind the shed too much because I don't want to get... I don't want to do anything permanent or attract a lot of... You don't want to piss freaks.

I would love to have piss freaks. Any kind of freak that's attracted to my work, I would be... I'd be thrilled because I can use all the fans I can get. Right. No, I think I just don't want to create a permanent stink. I want to maintain, because I know this, because when I was, let's say, 13, 14 years old,

I lived in the basement. And in the garage... How stank did that get? Okay, so here's the thing. Well, there were slugs. That was a big thing. I brought that up to my therapist the other day, and she said, does that not strike you as neglectful?

And I was like, well, I guess other people didn't have slugs in their bedroom. But anyway, there was a drain in the middle of the garage. Sometimes I would pee in the drain. Because I didn't want to go all the way upstairs. Only one bathroom in the house. Didn't want to go all the way upstairs and use the bathroom. Yeah, if Dad's in the shower, you're pissing in the drain. Okay. Because I didn't want to go all the way upstairs. Only one bathroom in the house. Didn't want to go all the way upstairs and use the bathroom. Yeah, if Dad's in the shower, you're pissing in the drain.

Sometimes I just piss down that drain. Dad works hard. Right in the middle of the garage there. And eventually I created a permanent stink. And so my concern is I need to spread it out. But you're used to, you grew up, you know, you grew up pissing where piss can. Yeah.

So you know about pissing. Yeah, like a piss-as-piss-can lifestyle, living... You're not some ivory tower type who has to go in the toilet. I'm not some fucking poindexter. You know that about me. I'm a man of the people. I piss on the box plants that cover the wall behind my shed. Take that box plants.

Okay, so anyway, in my shed, I have a projector. And so my daughter, who's obsessed with movies, and I have been watching movies most nights. And we made some great discoveries. I had never seen any of these Roger Corman movies with Vincent Price in them. Oh, okay, yeah, like the Tingler. The Pit and the Pendulum.

Right, those are fun. Yeah, they're really, Vincent Price is amazing. Why doesn't everyone just talk all the time about how Vincent Price is the greatest screen performer of all time? Jesse, I need to introduce you to some Gen X comedians. Okay, great. No wonder that's like,

there's an entire generation of comedians who just love doing that voice, because it fucking rules. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. He also had a master's degree in art history and wrote a bunch of cookbooks. Really?

Yeah, but speaking of things Dana Gould is obsessed with, I also watched for the first time Planet of the Apes with my daughter. I don't know how she got the idea. The OG Charlton Heston, you blew it up, you maniacs. Weirdly, I had seen the Tim- Oh, God, sorry, spoilers? Oh my God, what?

I had seen the- I'm sorry I let you know that the maniacs blew it up. Yeah. If you were saving the movie. I had seen the Tim Burton one. Oh, you mean the definitive Planet of the Apes? I saw that at the- Okay, so you were saving the movie. I had seen the Tim Burton one. I saw that. Oh, you mean the definitive Planet of the Apes? I saw that.

OK, so you're good. At the Grand Lake in Oakland, like the most beautiful movie theater in America, I saw. So the best movie at the most beautiful theater. Oh, boy. Yeah. And I had seen a couple of, maybe there's one or two of those new ones.

I thought they were great. I would love to watch the rest of the new ones. I tried to convince my daughter tonight at dinner, and she said we have to watch them all in order first. So I guess I have to watch Under the Planet of the Apes or whatever. Beneath. Oh, yeah. You're gonna get to where they're worshiping the giant atomic bomb.

Okay, so... That's the good shit, Jesse. So, the Planet of the Apes is... I enjoyed it. Yeah. I definitely liked Planet of the Apes. I feel like even having grown up as an elder millennial, with the entire generation before me,

their full emotional energy dedicated to telling me about how crazy Charlton Heston is in that movie. They did not nearly prepare me for how crazy Charlton Heston is. Like, how he seems like, like not only is he crazy, it seems like he's doing a crazy thing for a different film. The apes are not acting crazy. Grounded believable performances. Yeah, there is like a there is like they might as well be in in Mikey and Nikki or what is that? That's a Delaine May movie, right? I think Mikey and Nikki is what it's called Okay, anyway, there might as well be in any like a Robert Altman movie sure the apes right he's talking

Are in a Charlton Heston is fucking insane going going wild I don't know that's I'm saying going ape I don't like that doesn't make sense I don't understand why we would know why would you say that the apes are more it's funny like what if someone just said to you going ape and it wasn't a monkey pun like we only use that as a pun now right like right if I was like I was in traffic the other day I was going ape uh-huh you would be searching for where's the monkey in that story. Oh, right, I see what you mean. Do you know what I'm getting at here?

Yeah, well like. Like you wouldn't say a whale of, I had a whale of a time at Planet of the Apes. No, you would only say you had a whale of a time watching. Yeah, whale watching or. Moby Dick the movie. Yes. Yeah, I think that's fair.

Anyway, I just- I was gonna try and say casually going ape, so the next time someone wants to use it as a monkey pun, like there's context for it, you know? There's also, there's other people in Planet of the Apes. Yeah. And then they just die and don't come back. Well, yeah, that's what death is, buddy.

Oh. Oh, man. Oh, boy. Oh, I knew we were going to have to do this someday. Okay, so, uh, you know how we said the dog went to a farm? Okay, it's the farm is called Hell. That's where dogs go. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Should we introduce our guest?

I would love to. I don't know. I wonder if he's ever gone ape. Or had a whale of a time. Let's find out where he's had a whale of a time. Sure, yeah. Our guest on the program is a stand-up comic with a brand new record and a brand new short film called Detroit 911, Quincy Johnson the Second.

Hi Quincy, how are you? Hi guys, how are you? Very well. Is this a non-contiguous II? Is that why you're the II? Are you named after your grandfather? No, I was named after my father, but my mom didn't want anyone to call me Junior. Oh!

She hates that name. She just doesn't like that nickname. Yeah, she just doesn't like the name Junior. Doesn't like it. So it was like there was going to be no Junior in this whatsoever. How did she feel about the mints? Junior mints? Does she like them?

I don't think she's a fan. Yeah. They really grew up around them. Junior mints in the house. That's some messy candy. They are a messy candy. You're right. There was a guy that played for the A's for a little while, I think.

Maybe he only played, maybe he played for the Blue Jays, an outfielder whose name was Junior Felix. And it wasn't because he was a junior, his just his given name was Junior. Ha ha ha. Just had been named Junior. That's a good way to like keep your kid in their place, you know?

Make sure they know they're a kid. You're a child. I thought about, I thought about naming my kids Jesse Junior. Especially by the time we got to the third kid and had run out of names we liked. Were you just gonna name all the kids Jesse Jr.? Yeah, like George Foreman. Jesse Jr. 1, Jesse Jr. 2, Jesse Jr. 3.

Jesse Jr. the third. Make it as confusing as possible. And my wife, my wife vetoed it every time. Even at the end, even when we were out of names, and I was like, well, we can call him JJ or something like that, you know? And- JJ's fun.

It is fun, I think it's fun. And then when I got a dog recently, I was thinking about naming him Hambone. And I said to my wife, what should I name him? And she said, you should name him Junior. He'll carry on your legacy. Oh, wow. So my dog's name is Jesse Junior.

Does the dog have to host this podcast with me should something happen to you? God forbid. I mean, Jordan, haven't you always wanted to host a popular podcast? Jordan and the Pup. Oh, definitely. I would tune into that. Thank podcast. Jordan and the Pup. Oh, definitely. I would tune into that. Thank you.

You and the Pup on adventures? Oh, we're going to have adventure. It's like a ride the rails. It's going to be huge in Canada. Quincy, when's the last time that you either went ape or had a whale of a time? The last time I went ape.

Or had a whale of a time. You can tell the tale of when you had a whale of a time. The last time I went ape or had a whale of a time. You can tell the tale of when you had a whale of a time. Those are two terms I just don't ever use. Or the no tale of when you went ape. I know the last time I saw a whale tale. Apes don't have tails. Right it's when someone in low-rise jeans was bending over to get changed. My plumber was doing a little work and I I got to see his Tidy Whitey's crammed. I hear it's beautiful. It was a sight to behold. I'll say that much.

It's like an eclipse. You don't stare directly into it, but you want to look. No, don't look directly at the plumber's ass. Unless you punch a hole in a shoebox. A thing that happens in Planet of the Apes is there's, so they get on a spaceship and there's four of them. There's Charlton Heston. Four humans.

Roddy McDowell. There's a lady and there's a black guy who gets two lines before he dies. So Roddy McDowell gets about six lines before he dies. Black guy gets two lines before he dies. So Roddy McDowell gets about six lines before he dies. Black guy gets two lines before he dies. Lady dies before she does anything. Nice. And the whole time you think something is gonna happen

with the lady, the only thing that happens is Charlton Heston talks about how they would have fucked her. And then that is basically around the time when Charlton Heston falls in love with a mute human that they put in the cage with him so that they will procreate. Right. Like, they breed Charlton Heston and it works? Jesse, you're just getting that movie out of the way till you get to the next one where there's mutants at the center of the earth who worship a giant atomic bomb.

Oh my God. That's the Planet of the Apes movie. That's number two? That's two, yeah. Wow. And get ready for some other shit in that one too. Yeah, they did not think they were gonna have to make a third one or a fourth one or a fucking ninth one. What are they on now? Two television series, my daughter just told me. An animated and a live action television show. Do people really love the Planet of the Apes franchise this much? I think people between the ages of 45 and 65

love the shit out of the Planet of the Apes. Just to think that the concept of talking animals was enough to keep your, like, you know, it's like, yeah, I get it, like a Disney movie, you see Bambi talking and you're like, oh, that's cute. But then you see live animals talking. It's like, okay, we're doing too much. Right. We're doing too much.

It's like, that doesn't usually talk, and it's talking. I love this. Mr. Ed was a TV show for years, though, so I get it. That's true, yeah, sure, sure. Well, there was a time when that was essentially all television comedies was just someone putting peanut butter in an animal's mouth or just adding voiceover. I thought you were going a whole different direction

with that, with peanut butter. It's good that you said mouth. Thank you for saying mouth. What's wild to me about the Planet of the Apes, besides the seven things I already said, I read this book called The Studio, that actually our friend Elliott Kaelin gave to me. Amazing book about a year in a Hollywood studio in the late 1960s. And one

of the films they're making is Planet of the Apes at this studio. They're also making Around the World in 80 Days maybe or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I can't, something like that. And, um, uh, and like, the idea that this film that truly looks like an episode of Star Trek was like high-budget blockbuster entertainment at the time. Oh, yeah, sure. Like, you should see these masks, people said. Yeah, they spent so much money because they had to make so many of those fucking masks.

To see someone in a mask on a horse, that was what a movie was. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was obsessed with those movies as a kid. I loved, and like the kooky, the kookier and cocaineier they got in the 70s. I just loved them more. There's one where the apes are driving around in little tanks, I loved that one. Yeah, and I couldn't tell you what it was. But yeah, I just like, I think when you're a kid

and you see those apes at the right time, you just, you know, you go ape crazy. How many, I really don't know how deep the franchise is, because I know the new remake. Yeah. They were on their what? I think they're four deep there. OK.

That's so much. I know it is much. Quincy, what did you lock into as a kid? Did you have any, like, weird kid obsessions? I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Same. Yeah. Because, you know.

Let's just name dinosaurs. Same. Yeah. Because, you know... Let's just name dinosaurs. That would be a great rest of the show, wouldn't it? I'll go Dimetrodon. Guys, don't you guys want to talk about Archaeopteryx? Jesse, I do! Yes!

Let's do it! So sorry. So yeah, how did that manifest? You know what it was? I was obsessed with dinosaurs, and I always wanted to know how could they have gone extinct. Yeah. That was my entire obsession because it was like,

oh, it was a comet came down from space, but then it was like some of them just fell in tar pits. Yeah. They were kind of dumb and just walked into tar. It's true. And it happened. Did you have like prized dinosaur shit? Did you have sheets?

Oh yes, I did have a blanket. I had a dinosaur blanket. It had Tyrannosaurus, Stegosaurus, Triceratops. The big three. The big classic. The big three. But they were all different colors and it was probably my favorite blanket

for a good four or five years of my life. Let me ask you guys a question. Yeah. If those are your big three, what's number four? Pfft. Jesse? Yeah? Amazing question.

Thank you, Jordan. Uh, OK. I mean, I think, like, I became obsessed with dinosaurs in a pre-Jurassic Park world. Right. So, I'm... So, everyone else after that is a poser. Yeah. Raptors are late to the party. This is what I... This is the...

You knew the point exactly I was gonna make. I think to a lot of people, your big four, your fourth, would be the raptor. Yeah. All apologies to Drake and Vince Carter, but no raptors here. I'm a pterodactyl guy myself. That's what I was about to say. It was pterodactyl number four?

Yeah. What about one of those, what about that, what's that giant fish called? I think maybe the ichthyosaurus. Icthyosaurus. Not technically a dinosaur. Really? Yeah, sorry.

What is that, an ape? This is a, that's a, right. It doesn't have a tail. It's a legume. It has a tail, so it's a monkey. It's Really? Yeah, sorry. What is that, an ape? This is a dancer. It doesn't have a tail. It's a legume. It has a tail, so it's a monkey. It has a tail, so it's technically a monkey. You know what I'm going to say? The gentle giant, the Apatosaurus, I believe,

is the fourth. What about Brontosaurus? That's not a dinosaur anymore, right? I think the Brontosaurus was, if I'm remembering my childhood dinosaur shit correctly, I think that forontosaurus was, if I'm remembering my childhood dinosaur shit correctly, I think that for a long time what we thought was the Brontosaurus is really the Apatosaurus. I think maybe they were saying that a, I'm gonna get dragged for getting this a little bit wrong.

I know. Dinosaur internet's coming for you. Yeah. DinoNet is coming for you. That org, by the way. Right, yes, thank you. Dino Twitter loves to for you. Yeah. I don't need that. Dinonet is coming for you. That org, by the way. Right.

Yes, thank you. Dino Twitter loves to cancel people. Yeah. They're going to go back. They're going to find my old tweets. This guy said that the ichthyosaurus was a dinosaur and it's not. It's a legume. Dinosaur Twitter already canceled small mammals.

Right. Oh, so I think what happened was that the brontosaurus was the same thing as the Apatosaurus. Everybody's like, we're just gonna be, we're gonna call it the Apatosaurus from now on. Got it. Yeah. Okay, so what was it? They're gentle giants.

The big three is Tyrannosaurus, Triceratops, Stegosaurus. Stegosaurus. Okay, let me throw out a possibility here. Sure. I would say, first of all, I might put Bronto slash Apatosaurus ahead of Stegosaurus. Yeah.

And I'm just going to throw out my childhood favorite. Please. Well, Triceratops is my favorite. I'm not going to try and... My other favorite though, Diplodocus. Diplodocus! World's longest dinosaur. That's the longest dinosaur. Really long.

Yeah. You like length when it comes to dinosaurs. I know you're a girth guy. Not width. Sure. We all know it's not the size of the dino. It's the motion in the fins that it probably used to regulate its temperature.

Yeah, we got there. We all got there. We figured it out. Yeah. Of its long dagger-like teeth. Sure. Yeah. Of its long dagger-like teeth. Sure, yeah. Whatever. Yeah, the nipple gocus hits all four walls.

I don't know. Yeah. Do you think children are... None of my children were interested in dinosaurs at all. I had three children, none of them were really dino kids. I think so. Do you have kids? I have a son, yes.

What is he into? He loves science. He's into computer programming. He's 19 now. He's an adult. Yeah. So, G.I. Joe? Was he into anything like that as a kid? He was definitely into Power Rangers. Deep. Like every season of Power Rangers. Power Rangers is so... And they're so deep of Power Rangers. Power Rangers is so awful.

And they're so deep in the seasons. Power Rangers is so bad. Hey, I still love, what was that? Rita Rappalsa, sexually. VR Troopers from my childhood. I'm still a fan of VR Troopers. VR Troopers. Apple Tree, he loves terrible TV just like his dad.

Yeah, that was a thing for a while. Once Power Rangers became popular, they just took other, like, Japanese superhero shows and, like, kind of added American kids before they transformed, so that was a little... Added one week of live-action shooting in New Orleans. Sure, yeah, exactly. That's how you cut the budget, baby.

Chop that up for the holes. That's Tyler Perry's model, isn't it? Yeah. Shoot for a... They did it Tyler Perry. They shot all of Power Rangers Tyler Perry style. They just shot 10 seasons worth on one set in front of a live audience.

I would love to see Tyler Perry's Power Rangers, by the way. If they need to... My dear is Rita. Oh, I'm watching that. Oh, I'm tuning in. Honestly? What? You're just like, hey. We're goofing around. This, I'm watching that. Oh, I'm tuning in. Honestly? What? You're just like, we're goofing around.

This is not a bad idea. You're just like, hey, cool. Nice to see Kel working. Oh, it's great to see Kel. Yeah. I've heard Good Burger 2 is great. Oh, yeah? Yeah, from several sources.

I'm not surprised to hear that Good Burger 2 is great. Yeah, I kind of want to watch Good Burger 2 is great. Yeah, I kinda wanna watch Good Burger 2. Anyway, yeah, Power Rangers is one of those things that like, okay, we kinda remember it from when we were kids, but it just fucking kept going. Never stopped. Sorry, hold on one second. Rita Rapulsa is played by Dionne Warwick

and she talks about Christ a lot. Great. Okay, anyway, sorry, back to the topic. Yeah. But yeah, it's kinda like like Ninja Turtles just kind of kept going, and even though we kind of forgot about it, it's like, no, kids have always just had that shit since it started. Yeah. I mean, we've discussed this before that while Ninja Turtles, the television show that we

grew up with, is not particularly good. There's never been a better idea than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's the best idea. Just the mere idea of a group of turtles that do teen stuff, love pizza and know karate, and each have their own weapon, is the best idea anyone's ever had ever. And so that, I think, should be able to sustain itself

far into the future, sort of like Romeo and Juliet. Right. You know what I mean? Sure. Just relatable to, yeah, throughout time. Eventually, there will be a West Side Story equivalent for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, just inspired by once it... Yeah, but I don't know. I watched that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

they came out last year or whatever. Yeah. I like that a lot. Me too. I also really THB Ninja Turtles, they came out last year or whatever. Yeah. I like that a lot. Me too. I also really liked that movie. Oh, the new animated one. Yeah. Yeah, actually that was pretty good.

Looks cool. Oh gosh, remind me who plays the fly, Ice Cube? Yeah, I think so. He's great. That's like the best animated VO performance as the giant fly. Anyway, he's great. Yeah, took taking time out from his three-on-three basketball league.

You can do that between games, right? Yeah. And for complaining about cancel culture, I think I skewed this into. Yeah, sure. I mean, I can understand why. He's done many, many, many. No shortage. A true lifetime of cancelable activities, all somehow ameliorated by the fact that it is pretty funny No shortage. A true lifetime of cancelable activities. All somehow ameliorated by the fact that it is pretty funny when he makes that sour face at an irreverent white guy.

Friday's a very good movie. Yep. The man is very, Ice Cube's funny. Three Kings is one of my faves. He was triple X, wasn't he? He was the second triple X. He was the second triple X. Yeah, yeah. I was the second triple X. He was the second triple X. Yeah, yeah.

I saw the second triple X in the movie theater for some reason. Why? I don't know. You're like. Are you a hostage at that point? What's going on? I guess he was kidnapped by some very weird terrorists.

I think it was during a period where my friend Tyler had a friend that worked at the movie theater, and he's the kind of guy who just wants to do stuff. And he's such a sweetheart that you just agree to do whatever. He's like, we're going to the zoo today. And you're like, really? Because we're 20. And he's like, let's check out those animals.

And you're like, all right, sure, Tyler. Stop yelling at me. And then he yells, we're going to see Triple X II. Yeah. No, today. Yeah. And I'm like, do I have to see XXX too. No, today. Yeah, and I'm like, do I have to pay for it? Vin Diesel's not in it. I got a friend that works at the movie theater.

And you're like, all right, free popcorn. I'm like, all right, yeah, we'll go to see. Well, if they're free popcorn, then you gotta go. Friend who works at the movie theater, best kind of friend. Right, can we all agree? Is there a better kind of friend? Probably one that I would say number one. Drug dealer friend.

Number one friend that works at the movie theater. Number two, drug of friend. Probably one that I would say number one. Drug dealer friend. Number one friend that works at the movie theater. Number two, drug dealer friend. Number three, friend who's there for you when one of your parents passes. Those are the top three friends. But who's the fourth? Diplodocus? Probably Diplodocus.

Well, I need a girthier friend myself. The girthier friend, yeah. OK, here, let's do this. Friend who really fills you up. Yes. I need a friend who hits all four walls. let's do this. A friend who really fills you up. Yes, I need a friend who hits all four walls. Let's do this. You've got four walls?

Maybe. Let's do this. Let's catalog our thickest friends. We'll take a little break, and we'll come back for more. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessi Goh. It's Jordan Jessi Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective.

Ah, I'm glad. I was wondering who you were. It's me, the same guy it always is. Oh, I'm glad I'm I was wondering who you were It's me the same guy it always is God It's for a minute. I had heard that it might be Bryant Gumbel No, you know sports reporter and television host Bryant Gumbel But it turns out it's it's Jordan my friend. Yeah, same same guy It always is but if Bryant Gumbel is interested, I will gladly step aside for the good of the show.

Yeah, I think this show would be more successful if both of us were replaced by Bryant Gumbel. Oh yeah. It's just Bryant Gumbel and maybe, let's say, somebody exciting from the world of sports. My first thought is maybe Marshawn Lynch. He's fun. And now that's a show. I'd love to see those two chop it up every week. Brian Marshawn Go. Let's do this. Let's shut this down. Look, in the meantime, what we're doing now- While we're working out the contracts. Yeah, supported by you, of course, the members of Maximum Fund. Thank you to all the members

of Maximum Fund, everybody who goes to MaximumFun.org slash join and becomes a member and supports Jordan. Jesse, go directly. Our thanks are to you. And Jordan, hey, speaking of members of Maximum Fund, guess what? What, Jesse? I can't wait to hear about what you're gonna say to us.

I feel like you might know what I'm gonna say. I do know what you're gonna say. I shouldn't have had you guess. You're a real Bryant Gumbel, a pros pro. That's true. Yes, even if I know what you're gonna say, I will set you up to announce the exciting thing that we're gonna announce now. Well, during the Max Fun Drive, we promised everyone a brand new member exclusive show called Gracie's Game Gauntlet in which my 12 year old makes us play her least favorite video games of all time. Yes. Or her favorite horrible video games of all time, depending on how you look at it.

And we have a brand new episode out. It's about the 16-bit fighting game Shaq Fu starring Shaquille O'Neal and a cast of fictional characters. Yes he travels to a magical land and beats the shit out of everyone he sees. Yeah well because he's he's got to get back to the charity basketball game. That's right he's playing a charity. We get into it. We get into it. No, no need recapping the plot of Shaq Fu here because we do a whole podcast about it. Members only. And as a bonus, Jesse, you also review the movie Kazam. Yeah. My daughter said to me, this is the thing.

I've mentioned, I mentioned on the show, my daughter's neurodivergence when she locks on, she doesn't let go and when and I said, I said honey, I think we're gonna do Shaq Fu next and she said Well, then you have to watch Kazam And I said I do. Oh, okay. And then she held me to that so I had to watch the movie Kazam in which Shaq is a rapping genie. And I don't think I'm speaking out of school. I don't think I'm being unprofessional, not Gumbel-like when I say it is not a good movie.

Oh, my gosh. It's not a good movie. But the child actor who is now, I guess guess one of the stars of Sons of Anarchy Sons of Anarchy is over but was one of the stars of Sons of Anarchy. He does a great job That's good. It's good to hear. Yeah, the kid is good. Not without everything else about it was bad Yeah, this episode was a ton of fun to record Shaq-foo not a ton of fun to play But yeah maximum fun org slash join if you're not already a member. And if you are already a member, check out that episode.

We also get into Shaq's rap career a little bit. So a lot of content in that episode. Yeah, if you go to your member page at maximumfun.org, these days you can either get a bonus feed of every bonus episode of every Max Fund show, which is just like thousands of hours of special stuff just for you, or you can tell the website what shows you listen to, what shows you want bonus content for, and it will make a special podcast feed just for you. So yeah, go to Maximum Fund and take a listen to that. We're also supported this week by the folks at Rain Rain. Rain Rain, stay here. That's what I say, Jordan.

Don't go away because you're a great sleep app with a huge selection of sounds for free and an option to subscribe for additional sounds, but the free ones are great. So, you know, you might not want to subscribe, but you can for additional sounds. You know what I just found out, Jordan? Rain Rain is based in South Pasadena. I presume I don't have, I have hard evidence that they're based in South Pasadena. I do not know yet whether they are based at the South Pasadena farmers market. I have not yet confirmed that. My presumption right now is that whoever it is that created Rain Rain, the wonderful sleep

sound app with nature sounds, white noise, brown noise, chill music, fan sounds, clothes dryer sounds. I think it might also, might, again, unconfirmed, might also be the guy with the giant truck that rotisserie cooks like a hundred chickens at once. Okay, we're gonna do some research, we're gonna send up our drones to get some shots. But this is, what a thrill, what a thrill to be promoting a terrific app made in Pasadena, the topic of this podcast. Yeah, the only thing we ever talk about.

Yes. A small Southern California city. Right, that you don't live in. And I guess technically, neither do I. None of us do. None. Matt doesn't, I don't, you don't. It's just sort of in between our houses. Sure, yeah. It's got a lot of fun and interesting stuff and a unique vibe.

We got Rain Rain. We got the Pie and Burger. Caltech. If you need a rocket ship. Sure. Jesse, I have struggled with sleep in the past and I do a lot of stuff to try and get a better night's sleep. And I do like a little white noise while I'm going to bed. And sometimes I'll do that by turning on on the TV downloading the movie White Noise which is I think a supernatural thriller starring I think Jeff Bridges again unconfirmed. Unconfirmed. Unconfirmed. But

you know sometimes that stuff can hurt as much as it helps and the great white noise sounds in the rain rain app have been really delightful. I've been enjoying them and I've gotten a great night's sleep. Rain Rain, it's the only app that prevents you from telling us that you listen to our show to fall asleep. I would say. You can get Rain Rain for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. Just search for Rain Rain and get ready to sleep. Great. Hey, Jordan. Yes.

Oh, hey, by the way, Michael Keaton, the star of White Noise, Michael Keaton. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. No problem. Great in everything, Michael Keaton. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Love him in Out of Sight.

Out of Sight. Oh, yeah, sure. Great Michael Keaton role. A lot of great Michael Keaton roles out there. Isn't it interesting that he played the same Elmore Leonard character in Out of Sight and in Jackie Brown? That is interesting. I didn't know that.

Same actor, two completely different, they just saw him in one of them and said, well, no one else could ever play that, he's too good. Sure, do it again. And they cast him as the same character in a different movie. Anyway, I also wanna mention for people in Southern California, speaking of Pasadena,

this is a Pasadena-based event. It sure is. And hey, Jordan, as long as we're hosting Pasadena talk here. Which we are. God, we got to get some of that Pasadena money. Pasadena's got to have a tourism board, right? Yeah, hit us up Chamber of Commerce. Give us a float in the Rose Parade.

Oh my god, that would be amazing. Just 10 flowers glued to a piece of cardboard. Make us the princess of the Rose Parade. We have attention deficit disorder. Usually it's a high achieving local high school student, but I think it should be us this year. Yeah, I mean, I didn't have great grades, but I did good on the SATs.

Okay, look, we're did good on the SATs. I did that. Okay. Look, we're moderately successful high school students. We went to a medium good quality public university. That's true. Okay. I am doing an event in Pasadena on June 13th, a live bullseye. This is the first time I've done a live bullseye thing in five, six, seven years. I don't even know.

Uh, with the great Paul Scheer, our friend, Paul Scheer has a new book out. Um, and I'm going to have a conversation with him about it at LAist, the former KPCC in Pasadena on June 13th. Uh, their theater, the Crawford family forum. Um, it's right there, right there in Pasadena, right there by the Design College. What's that called? Arts College of Design or something like that anyway.

Right there on Pasadena, right there at the end of the 110. You can charge up your Tesla and then head over to Bullseye Live with Jesse Thorne and Paul Scheer. June 13th. You can find all the information at laist.com and tickets start at free. They start at free. You can also get fancy tickets that come with Paul's book, which I would encourage you to do. We'll be glad to sign it for you. But you can also just come to the show

for free and you know, will it be a great time? Yes. Do I hope that people come? Yes. Please come. LAS.com. And that's June 13th at the Crawford Family Forum in Pasadena, California, over there at LAS. And, you know, our chat earlier about classic fighting game Shaq Fu reminded me that I wanted

to mention we're having a lot of fun over there on free with ads the new movie podcast featuring me Emily Fleming and producer Matt Lieb who also produces this show we're having a great time over on that show we did the first two Godfather movies we did alien versus predator yeah having a lot of fun over there. Free with ads if you're not already listening. Please check us out. And for our bonus content recently, we did the first episode of the Street Fighter Saturday

Morning Cartoon. So that is over there in your bonus feed. And yeah, if you're a member, check it out. And if you haven't checked out Free with Ads yet, please do. We're having a good time. Street Fighter's great for kids. It is good for kids. They get to learn how to fight in the streets. Yeah, exactly.

And they learn how to stretch their arms out really long, like the stretchy guy that I like. Sure. And they learn to stay away from the dark hodo, demonic power that corrupts. Yeah, you got to stick with that light hodo. You have to. It's like demonic power that corrupts. Yeah, gotta stick with that light, Otto. You have to. It's like a coffee roast.

You can't taste all the notes if it's too dark. Thank you, exactly. Yeah, okay. All right, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, and Go. How about that? La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, with these cakes. I just love to demolish cupcakes at all. Just fucking, oh it's you versus the cakes.

Oh always. Do you like these kind of cupcakes where it's like one third frosting? One third, what are we talking about here? What's this weird science you're bringing to my life? This is like this kind of cupcake that was invented that became a popular cupcake when cupcakes became popular 15 years ago maybe.

You know like what's the bakery with the people with the cupcakes? Sprinkles. Sprinkles, like sprinkles cupcakes. Oh, when it's mostly frosting and then some cake is in there somewhere. Yeah. I hate that. It's kind of gross, right? It's too much frosting.

When I have to deco... I usually eat my cupcakes deconstructed for that purpose because I like a different frosting ratio depending on the bite, you know what I'm saying? Like the top part gets a little more frosting where the bottom gets a little less So you are taking the frosting off? Then breaking the top and bottom apart. Yes, then reapplying the frost they make a little sandwich So you make a little sandwich sometimes or you or you have it like it's like a full entree where it's like a three-course meal

You know, I mean? This is innovative. I dig in, man. Wow. I scream freedom. I hold a shield the whole time. You know? Maybe wear chain mail.

It just depends on your mood. Are you not entertained? You scream at the people watching you eat the cupcake. It's definitely momentous occasion to watch. Do you eat like a bakery cupcake? Are we talking about a hostess cupcake? My habit's so bad, I had to learn how to bake them myself. Oh, all right.

Because I was running to the bakery so much. And they charge so much for a cupcake. When you make them yourself, it's so cheap. Are you making them from a box, or are you making them from scratch? From a box now. From scratch, it's just far too tedious. I think you can do this. Are you making them from a box or you making them from scratch from a box now from scratch? It's just far too. It's too tedious. I think you can do this

I think we need to get you some cake flour and you're good pretty soon. You're gonna be refining your crumb I will say that I did have a moment a couple years ago where I rediscovered the Betty Crocker box cake. Mm-hmm That shit's good. It's so good. It rules. It rules. It really is impressive that they can make something that good that comes in a box. Yes, it is. Jell-O is probably the best boxed item. Oh, okay.

Next to the box cake. I mean, I think that the mere existence of gelatin is such a miracle of science or nature, I don't know which. I don't know if we're supposed to eat it, but I enjoy it. I think it's... Just think, there's nothing that's the quivery that occurs normally. And yet, if you put some of this...

There's slime in nature. Nature has slimes. What's one of nature's top slimes? tree slime trees What you believe what have you been putting on pancakes all this time a little tree slime, yeah sweet slime Okay, number one that doesn't quiver at all. What else or what other slimes are we talking about? Jellyfish. There's jellyfish.

Jellyfish is a legitimate. That's a legitimate type of natural jello. And I'll just scoop those up and put them in my mouth. I don't give a fuck. But this powder is a powder that you put in juice that turns it into a jellyfish. That's incredible. It is. What an age we live in.

Jello doesn't even taste that great. It's just incredible that it's jiggly. Gelatin itself doesn't have a taste. That's true. They just add the flavoring. Anytime Kenji Lopez tells me to add a little bit of gelatin to something to improve the mouth feel, I really want to just go all the way

and turn it into jello, whatever it is. Right. You want to make it into a jiggler. What have you been, wait, how do you improve the mouth feel of something? What are we talking about here? So like, you know, when you make like a stew, you are slow cooking meat and often bones

that have a lot of new collagen that breaks down and gelatin and the same things that cook out of those meaty products over long periods of slow temperatures are essentially what gelatin is. So if you want to have that texture, if you put in a little bit of gelatin, you have to mix it in right so that it doesn't just turn

into little pieces of jello inside your stew. But if you mix it in, if you temper it, put it in a little cup with some of the things, mix know, mix it together like you were putting in cornstarch or something, it gives it a... it makes it unctuous. It makes it... gives it a round mouthfeel. It gives it a richness. Now I'm just trying to think of savory jello flavors. Well, there definitely is.

French onion jello. Yeah, this guy just invented aspic. Quincy, what's your ideal cupcake-cake-frosting combo? Like, are we talking, you know, vanilla cake, chocolate icing? I'm going with a butter cake, milk chocolate icing. That's the correct answer. Yeah, that's a great choice.

I think... Can I tell you something? This might surprise you, because obviously I'm an insufferable coastal elitist, but I think I would rather have a Hostess cupcake than an actual high-quality cupcake. No, not anymore. They changed the recipe. Did they really? They really did. Really?

I haven't had a Hostess cupcake in a while. Did they fuck it up? I used to love the Hostess. I used to love the Twinkie. I went back and had one recently, and I guess they decided to care about their ingredients or care about their customers. Well, that's a mistake. All of a sudden, it's not as refined sugar.

It's not. The ingredients are better, so the cake doesn't taste as good. That's not what we want from you, Hostess Corporation. At all. I'm a ho-ho guy. Ho-ho! Really?

That's a cake. Yeah, that's my choice. If I was gonna choose one out of all those products, I'd choose ho-ho. Really? Okay. I mean, you know, I know there's like, you know, you ask somebody, Beatles or Stones, and they say the who. Chocodile.

Wow, you're a child. I'm a zebra cake guy myself. That's a good cake. I go with the zebes. Well, hey, if you finally... What am I trying to do? I'm trying to say momentous occasions. If you've met a guy who's into the zebes...

He said momentous occasions earlier, but I didn't want to go straight into it. Yeah, I understand. We had a little bit more to explore with this stuff about fucking cupcakes. We did a great job. Have you fucked a cupcake? Let's get into it. Wait, this is recording, right? I can't, I don't think I can answer that question.

Just text me the answer. Don't worry, law enforcement don't listen to the program. Big bakeries are going to come after me for the things I've done to cupcakes in the dark There's no there's no rule in the rule books. It says you can't fuck a cupcake The weird 11th commandment like a man parts of Deuteronomy are weird Commandments were a baker's dozen There's some extra Commandments in there. They throw in one more because you're a great customer. And here you go.

Here's something about beard trimming. And you get a few Commandment holes. Yeah, exactly. OK. When something momentous happens to you, like you get a few Commandment holes thrown into your order, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN or just send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org.

Here's one of those recordings. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm gonna guess Justin McElroy. Close. Calling in here with a momentous occasion. I just got back from a walk in my lovely neighborhood in Pasadena, California, where I sort of all of a sudden started hearing some classical music.

I'm not too sure of where it was coming from, but I kept walking and sort of turned the corner on another street and then looked over in someone's driveway where I saw an older gentleman who was playing the cello and had some accompanying sort of background music coming out of a boom box who was sitting in the bed of his Tesla cyber truck. I guess just as Elon intended. Anyways, love you guys. Thanks for all you do.

Talk to you soon. Thank you. Love you too. Full disclosure, that was Jordan. Yeah. We for all you do. Talk to you soon. Thank you. Love you too. Full disclosure, that was Jordan. Yeah. We have a new sponsor. It's Cybertruck. Cybertruck, who needs to stop?

Cybertruck, when you want to look like you're inside a PlayStation 1 vehicle. I like, first of all, I think Cybertrucks are cool looking. Number two. Well, you love the PlayStation 1 aesthetic, right? Cybertrucks are cool-looking. Number two... Well, you love the PlayStation 1 aesthetic, right? I do, I do love the PlayStation. I do want to look like I'm driving around in VR boxing. Yeah. Um, so, uh, 3D, 4D boxing?

What was it called? VR boxing? Oh, I don't know. I was just kind of... I just agreed because anything with VR at the beginning, uh, that to me says Cybertruck. Okay, well anyway, I think Cybertrucks are cool. Is that a hack observation that they look like they're from PlayStation 1 games? No, that's new to me.

Okay. They look like mean rovers. Oh yeah. They should be in space going over craters. Yeah, not in Pasadena going over pooraters. Yeah. Not in Pasadena, going over poor people's bodies. Ha ha ha ha ha. What is most interesting to me about this tale of Pasadena life?

Yes. By the way, I met a nice listener in Pasadena just the other day at the Veterinarian. Oh, cool. Yeah, both our dogs were getting shots. That's fun. Yeah. Everybody's dog was fine. I live in Altadena. So, you our dogs were getting shots. That's fun. Yeah, everybody's dog was fine I live in I live in Alta Dina. So, you know the Pasadena. The Dinas are represented. The Dinas. I live in the Dinas

I've always loved to hear about stuff going on. Alta Dina one of my favorite dairies if I'm gonna get some milk Yeah, Alta Dina milk all the way I I think the most distinctive part of this story about this Cybertruck is not the Cybertruck. It's that he was playing to a track. Yeah, that's all... That's interesting. Like, he wasn't just yo-yo-mawing around, just celloing. It wasn't cello solo.

He had, like... It was like one of those dudes that plays saxophone on Universal City Walk. Right. And he just has a karaoke version of Take Five or whatever. Farmers Market panpipe guy. Yeah, exactly. This is the guy that plays the steel drums at the farmers market that I go to,

that you occasionally go to, Jordan. And I think he's not allowed inside. Oh yeah, I know the guy. I know the guy you're talking about. He just like, he's just like in the parking lot. Is he entertaining them against their will? I think. Let him in!

It's great! No one wants this. He's not a, I'll say this about him. He has a certain charm, but he does not appear to be strong at his instrument. Like, he says a certain kind of, like, daffy, confused delightfulness. Ha ha ha, sure.

Is he freestyle steel drumming? Yeah, I think that's exactly what's happening. That's not good. He's going off the dome, I think, is the problem. He's just feeling it, being one with the drum. Yeah. That's what Nine Mile, the sequel to Eight Mile, was about.

Just about a guy. Steel drumming. An untrained steel drum player. Yeah. He didn't have classical training. Right. He didn't grow up playing orchestral steel drum. But yeah, the fact that he's sitting

in the trunk of this car playing to a track is what's most compelling. It's like when we were in college, Jordan, one time, my greatest regret of my four years of college isn't that I like, I don't know, never did any gay stuff or anything. Like there's probably a lot of things I should regret about college, but it's mostly that I was-

That's list them. Yeah. I was home, I was home in San Francisco. I was at my mom's house one weekend and I got a call from our friend Maria Calpito and she goes, Jesse Thorne. And I'm like, what's up Maria? And she goes goes guess who was just in my dorm room and I'm like who and she goes Rap-N-Forte and San Francisco rapper Rap-N-Forte had been hired by the like university association of black engineers or something to play a concert at our residential college in the dining hall and it was

just rap and forte. No DJ, no nothing. He just put on a CD and rapped into a karaoke machine and then like tried to talk girls into coming on stage and grinding on him. And before he did that he stopped at my friend Kai's dorm room and asked if she had any beers, and she invited him in. They hung out for a while. Wow. Yeah. Sorry you missed that.

Yeah. Quincy, any big college regrets? Not booking rapping forte. Yeah. I didn't know he was available. Well, you're probably not in the Players Club. That's the problem. College regrets?

So many that I can't. Well, most're probably not in the players club. That's the problem. College regrets? So many that I can't, well, most of that. What's the statute of limitations on bad breakups? I'll say our college, we, the like freshman tradition is there's the naked run during first rain. And I didn't do it. You didn't do the naked run? I didn't do the naked run.

You didn't do it either. And yeah, I probably naked run? I didn't do the naked run. No. You didn't do it either. And yeah, I probably, where can I run in the nude? Nowhere. There's nowhere where I can... You can run anywhere in a nude in LA. Hey yeah, you're right. You know what? Especially on the metro.

My first spot is the Rose Bowl. Yeah. Third Street Promenade, maybe? Universal City Walk, probably you could make that work. Oh yeah. John Lovett's Comedy Club. Maybe? Universal City Walk, probably you could make that work. Oh yeah. John Lovett's Comedy Club. But if you don't want to get in trouble, just say you're doing it for TikTok.

There you go. I'm doing it. Whenever you get caught, it's a TikTok trend. TikTok! TikTok! Yeah, it's a TikTok trend. You should be okay. It's a flash mob or something.

Yeah, police officers are like, thank you for letting me know. Yeah. That's how police officers react to that kind of thing. This is going to go over a list of ADHD symptoms. It'll be so relatable. It's okay, officer. I just learned I'm an introvert. I always have three drinks at my desk.

Three! I just, I'm color typing. I'm doing like, I'm finding out my seasonal colors. You can get out of anything. Yeah. Anything. That's the kind of shit cops respect. Right. Followers. Yeah. Cops love TikTok. These cops. You know, a lot of cops get into it for the cloud. Right. Well, yeah, you guys want to make a list of places to run naked and then come back for a little bit more? We'll be back in just a second. Disneyland.

Disneyland. Disneyland! See, that's how you get sent to Disneyland jail. Yeah. Yeah. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. The Greatest Generation has been going for more than eight years. And if you've been Greatest Gen Curious,

but have never taken the leap, we recommend exploring your Greatest Gen Curiosity in a safe, fun environment with partners you can trust. And right now is one of the best times ever to become a new listener. That's because we just started covering a new series, Star Trek Enterprise, one of the horniest and weirdest editions of Star Trek ever released. This is your chance to ease into the greatest generation lifestyle.

The Greatest Generation, now covering Star Trek Enterprise, the one with Scott Bakula, every Monday on MaximumFun.org or in your podcast app. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of Miss Guided Medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our Medical History Podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Justin, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past, as well as some current and not so legit health care fads.

So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better. Sure. And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that. And our podcast is free. Yes, it is free. You heard it here first, folks. Sawbones, Merrill Tuer, Miss Guy, The Medicine, right here on Maximum Fun,

just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there. -♪ La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Jesse, Go! 300,000 times! A worldwide comedy podcast. Yes. I do have something else from the r slash Pasadena subreddit. Quincy, for you, I love this subreddit.

A pretty wholesome place overall. It gets significantly less toxic than most other reddits. Yeah. Okay. And the top, but there will be some little dramas in there. Oh. Which is, you know. Someone in r slash ask Los Angeles just the other day said,

hey, if I had to pay $60 to park at a hotel, do I still have to tip the valets? Oh, boy. Yeah. You still have to tip them. They didn't get that. That money didn't go to them. Anyway, more tipping discourse.

I think we can all agree, right? I want to hear more about tipping. In general, I want to hear more from people who are against tipping. Me too. Because I really think that they've got shit figured out. Right. Like, they know better than everyone else.

Mm-hmm. And so I'm really grateful that they have shown me, personally, how to hurt the working poor. Mm-hmm. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah. So this is from r slash Pasadena.

And the title of the post is Goths Getting Together for Real. So fucking sick. Wait, wait, the number four? Amazing question, Quincy. No, F-O-R. OK. OK.

I just wanted to know how deep we were getting together. Shots Getting Together was a like 1997 hit by the boy band for real. Hey everyone, I remember a post from a few weeks back asking about goth meetups in the area with responses being pretty subdued. There were a few mentions of clubs outside of Pasadena, but I, all bold, this is bold,

but I think it would be really neat to have a low pressure, chill environment for goth and goth adjacent people to hang out in Pasadena proper. Back to regular. What's it? You know what goth, you know who, you know what's a group of people who are goth adjacent? Garth's.

I thought they were still had like rapery like had Hills and McCoys. Goths versus Garth's. Guys who are going to spew versus, Hey, am I welcome at the meetup? I'm not a goth, but I am a moth. So this is, so I'm looking for an environment for goth and goth adjacent people to hang out in Pasadena proper. What say you guys? A late night haunt at IHOP? Why is that the first suggestion?

IHOP can accommodate, IHOP and Denny's, and I think we're not in Waffle House country, but having been to a Waffle House, I'm gonna extend this to the Waffle House, can accommodate, their greatest power is to accommodate, is to take on all comers. Right, right, like there's, and especially- Get in here, they say.

Yeah, especially after 10 p.m. Yeah. Right, after 10 p.m., it's, you know, I mean primarily it's cast parties of high school musicals. Sure, yes. But beyond that- All sharing one plate of fries. Yes, exactly.

And hopefully tipping their server. They're definitely not tipping their server. They're definitely not tipping their server. After 10 PM, the tips are very slow. Yes, the shittiest tippers are boobers and high school kids. Yeah, the secret is to the secret is to the secret is to the olive garden. One person orders an entree. Everyone gets breadsticks. Everybody gets the breadsticks.

Fuck you, Olive Garden. You guys are giving away a lot of free game on a long time ago. You know what? There's a players club everywhere you roll. Okay, so, yeah, so I think IHOP, plus there's a lot of different syrups. That's true, yeah, three or four at least.

Regular, I call these slimes by the way. Four different slimes that I have. Choose your slime. Why not all four slimes, I say. I mean, I think if they had one called slime, that would be the gothiest of them. Yeah, sure. Except that there was a particularly

darkly-colored blueberry one. Oh, yeah, I think there is. And there's boysenberry. Boysenberry? That's pretty gothy. Is it? Yeah. Because it looks like blood?

Oh, yeah Do the Goths have like a signature flavor? That's a good clove cigarettes. Yeah There's only a couple of You know Jordan you would think it was clove cigarettes, but it's us actually freshman oh Blue raspberry It's kiwi strawberry Just all kind of got into drinks in 1988 and then But yeah, I love that I hop is the first suggestion

Where there are other suggestions though? it's a haunted IHOP. Yeah, they did call it a haunt. Yeah, you're right. And it's like, is there an element here to like, let's go someplace where people are gonna be really freaked out that all these fucking gothies, I don't think that to me isn't really what goths are about,

but I don't know if this poster is like, here's an element of like, let's really, let's show these normies. I mean, Pasadena is one of my favorite towns in Southern California, but it's also perhaps the single normiest full town I've ever visited. Sure, yeah, that's a good observation about it. Like the size, like the number of people

and size and metropolitan-ness of Pasadena relative to the non-norminess going on there is an extraordinary, like I would imagine that, that you know, there are, Boise, Idaho has more non-normie activities going on, which is probably about the same number of people as Pasadena, I guess. More non-normie activities in Boise, I would guess. Some people like to skateboard there. Sure. If you're wondering if there are other responses, there are. This guy says,

I'd be down. I'd be interested if it was on a Thursday, and then someone just says, Howard, if anybody's looking to get freaky, I hope let me know. So, goths are doing meetups now, that's where we've... I mean, the entire goth culture is built around meetups. The goths invented meetups. Because in order to really be a goth, you need other goths. And you're not just going to gather them

from the neighborhood. You have to have a meetup. Right. You have to organize. I think historically, that was a skinny puppy concert or a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Definitely Rocky Horror. But I think that they-

Where you found your computer. That's where they found their kind. But I think that, you know, it was also just Tuesday at the cemetery, bring your pets. Sure and now we're all meeting for the Rudy Tootie fresh and fruity. Fun to order fun to order that in the in the death metal makeup. I'm sure. Excuse me. I'm sorry. Could I get yeah, that's fine. Anyway, Quincy, thanks for joining us. Thank you guys for having me. Enjoying Jesse Goh, oh my god.

I had a great time. Yeah. Short film starring you, coming soon. Detroit 911, coming soon. Also, my first comedy album, Higher Frequency, is available on all digital platforms. All platforms? All platforms. So if you have a platform, if you listen to things on, type in Quincy Johnson the second

or higher frequency and find me. Our audience, our audience not big on listening to shit. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, they prefer visual media. OK, guys, so I'm going to be in the next Planet of the Apes movie. Whoa! Well, then we're all set.

Great. I'm wearing a mask. I'm riding a horse. Great. There's just a long part where they're wandering around, and then all of a sudden, that whole part is irrelevant to the rest of it. Yeah, movies didn't have to make sense until recently.

Very recently, movies... Wait, you're giving movies way too much credit. They have to make sense now? Certain movies make sense now. Well, they have to at least have a lot more stuff happen now. Sure. If it's not gonna make sense, it's gotta have a shit ton of stuff.

I think what happened is that, like, more stuff happen now. If it's not gonna make sense, it's gotta have a shit ton of stuff. I think what happened is that like, someone taught the executives about structure. Someone told an executive, hero's journey, story circle, order to chaos. Most of the best dealers in Hollywood have passed on, so the movie's just as wild as they used to be. RIP, sure.

RIP Robert Evans, RIP Robert Evans Dealers. Yeah. Yeah. OK, Jordan Jesse Goh is produced by Matt Lieb. This week, Gabe Mara on the boards. Thank you, Gabe. We appreciate it. And Brian Sunday de Fernandez, our producer emeritus, our theme music

is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You can find us on Facebook, facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse Go on Twitter at Jordan Jesse Go. You can find us on Instagram at Jordan David Morris and at Jesse Thorne, very famous, where this week, Jordan, we have launched, yes, that's right, a photograph of us with a bottle of Walton Goggins vodka, autographed to Jordan Jesse Goh by Walton Goggins. You gotta get on the gram. You gotta get on the gram to see this shit.

You're never gonna see it if you're not on the gram. Walton Goggins on bullseye, right? Walton Goggins on bullseye. Check it out. I watched Walton Goggin's television show, Fallout the television show, and I thought it was very good. I was like, huh, that's weird.

Because I hated all the story parts of this video game that I liked. Yeah, I have not played those games, but I started the show, and I also thought it was a hoot. Yeah, what's cool about them is that they are exactly the same as Skyrim. Right. What's cool about them is that they are exactly the same as Skyrim. Right. What's bad about them is that everything else about them is dumb.

But somehow they made that into a really good TV show. I don't know how they did it. Yeah, yeah. But that's great. Well, I mean, so thrilled you got to meet Goggans. Will we get Goggans on Jordan and Jesse Go? Let me put it this way. We're going to put in the effort.

We're going to put, we're putting in the effort. We're putting in the effort. Did Jesse spend his public radio points talking to Walton Goggins about the work that you, the Jordan Jesse Go listener, has done creating Walton Goggins' vodka songs? Yes, he did. Whatever credibility I built up with him by asking him thoughtful questions

about his art creation process, I spent by telling him about the fact that I wrote an entire parody of Never Too Much by Luther Van Dros about him having his own vodka. How did that go? His name is Walton, he's an actor and he has a vodka. Potato spirit, you can do it. He transforms a vodka. Potato spirit, you can hear it. He transforms it, Kafka.

Beautiful. Beautiful. I'm dancing back here. We're all dancing. Oh, vodka. Okay, that's all. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Goff. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

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