Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Walk Bandicoot, with Jon Glover and Marisa Pinson (On Brand)

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

On this week’s episode, we welcome Jon Glover and Marisa Pinson, hosts of On Brand with Jon and Marisa, to chat about The Grid (on IFC), soda sexualities, getting banned from nice subreddits, and more!Follow On Brand on instagram!Be sure to get our new 'Ack Tuah' shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an 'Ack Tuah' mug!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Go see Free With Ads and Judge John Hodgman LIVE at SF Sketchfest!Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys. And take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. How are you doing, bud?

Doing good. I'm looking forward to this Sunday, attending my first Duda Parade. Oh, well this is a Pasadena tradition. It is. The City of Roses every year celebrates silliness and nonsense with... Yeah, a kind of a like Gen X silliness and nonsense. Oh, very Fez heavy.

Yeah, Fez is tiki. That sort of thing. Yeah, a real... Elvis's... Negative land... Yeah. Bob from the Church of the Subgenius. Sure, yeah. I'm anticipating a lot of Elvis's,

a lot of like Wizard of Oz characters maybe. I mean, Pasadena is... Pasadena, California, which is right in between our homes, between my home in northeast Los Angeles and your home in Altadena, California, which is right in between our homes, between my home in Northeast Los Angeles and your home in Altadena. It's where we meet to kiss. Yeah.

It is like the highest parade importance to city size ratio. Yeah. It's not a small town. You know, it's a couple hundred thousand people, a few hundred thousand people. But obviously, the Rose Bowl parade, the Rose Parade is maybe the second only to the like Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in terms of sizes of parades in all the United States, right? So the entire cultural life of Pasadena revolves around if you can, they start constructing grand stands for that parade in like September.

And they build them over the course of September, October, November, and December. And then just people pay $25,000 to sit on a metal bleacher on Colorado Boulevard so they can watch these. Sure. A giant Snoopy funded by a crypto company made of tulips Exactly and the dude operate is like the Rotary Club and stuff like yeah But I've noticed the past couple of roast parades have had like crypto floats anyway Yeah, no, I mean if you're a crypto company, wouldn't you build something out of flowers? Sure

Roll it down the street in Pasadena. Why not? The Duda Parade is like the, you know, it's like the Burning Man alternative to... I think it was probably conceived of in like the 60s as like a parody of the Rose Parade, like let's freak out the squares by, you know, blowing bubbles and wearing cat in the hat hats. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you think you a question? Yeah.

Do you think? I mean, no. OK. No questions. No questions, please. I'll only be making prepared statements about the Duda Parade. Do you think that in the Duda Parade, they have,

so this is a parade of people who would wear Shriner hats. Right. Because they bought them at an antique mall. Yes. of people who would wear Shriner hats. Because they bought them at an antiques mall. Yes. Shriner Fezzes would be worn. Absolutely. But is it a parade that Shriners would be in?

I don't think so. I think it is like community organizations, but like, think, you don't think that they're calling the Shriners and saying, can you please bring your tiny cars to the Doodop Parade? Yeah, I mean, I think the Shriners would probably feel made fun of. Really?

Because they're, you know, they're too, I guess I don't really know what the Shriners stand for. The Shriners raise money for children's hospitals, I think. OK. And they wear Fezzes and drive in tiny cars. I think I basically know them mainly from like jokes and the cover of one Dead Kennedys album. No, I mean, I think that's bad

and raising money for children's hospitals. Yeah. That's pretty much their deal. Well, why were the Dead Kennedys being so hard on them? I just feel like- There's better targets out there. That would be the move that like legitimizes the do- Parade, right?

Like it like- Well maybe they don't wanna be legitimized. Yeah, it's true. They wanna remain a bunch of bastards. Exactly, exactly, yeah. This is, yeah, having the Shrine of Sarah is the like, equivalent of like the big record contract, you know?

They're like, we don't need it. We're scrappy frecos. What are you most looking forward to at the Duh-Dah Day Parade? Well, I had a very nice interaction on r slash Pasadena. Oh, great. A subreddit that I mostly have positive experience on, but occasionally we'll get mad at.

Here's something that'll happen a lot on r slash Pasadena, and a lot of place reddits. I see this kind of shit go on. Someone will have a hyper specific question that definitely has an answer. Hey, some friends are coming in from out of town and we want to go to a place that has drinks, vegan options, and outdoor dining. Any recommendations? And then someone, the first fucking guy who responds will be, well, I

know a place, but it doesn't have vegan options, outdoor dining, and it's in San Diego. We'll just ignore the- It's the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park. And you should go there. It's great. You can take that aerial tramway. And then somebody else will just go like, there's a lot of good options. And not say what they are. A lot of that shit on r slash Pasadena there's a lot of good options. And not say what they are.

A lot of that shit on r slash Pasadena. But a lot of good stuff too. So I posted on r slash Pasadena, hey, first time going to the dude operator. I'm really excited. Should I have my dick in or out? How out should my dick be? One ball or two. Have been to Burning Man and had taint blasted.

Can I expect similar tape blasting? Where's the orgy dome? Where will a clown give me a grilled cheese sandwich? I mean, that is the that feels like there's got to be a grilled cheese clown at the Toon Operate. There fucking has to be. Um, so I'm like, hey, you know, you know, any any good tips for seating? What time should I get there? gotta be a grilled cheese clown at the Duda parade. There fucking has to be. So I'm like, hey, you know, any good tips for seating? What time should I get there? That sort of thing.

And the first response was, hey there, 2024 Duda Queen here. So the Duda Queen herself. The Queen is there, reigning over her subjects in r slash Pasadena. Gave me some great advice. What was the advice? Sit down near the Apple store. Oh.

And get there about an hour early. This right there in Old Town. In Old Town, yeah. That's nice. I'm gonna set up near the Apple store. Would it be okay if you ended up in front of that J. Crew there? Oh no, oh God no.

Okay. Oh God no. Okay, okay, what about? I might spend $200 on shirts. Salt and straw ice creams. I do not have might spend $200 on shirts I Do not have to $200 to spend on shirts It'd be nice to be salt and buy but salt and straw because you can enjoy premium ice cream while you're watching my nice I might be nice. Maybe that's salted

Salted chocolate chip cookie dough, you know, the doodah queen herself said the Apple Store. Okay, who am I? Who am I to fly in the face of her highness? Plus, you lost one of your two AirPods, and you need a replacement. You're hoping that they'll... Yeah. And I want to pay like a little bit more for them. Yeah. Should we introduce our guests on the program?

Our guests on the program are the hosts of the podcast. I'm going to get there about 10. Did I say that? Oh, you're going to get there around 10 a.m.? Right there at 10. What time does the parade commence? It starts at 11, and I'm going to get there around 10. Okay that's good. You gonna bring a chair or? Oh I'm gonna bring a chair. Really like a camp chair or like a beach chair? Oh you know

actually guess you guys can go. Like a beach chair. Do you have any advice on paying a good price for a giant inflatable hammer? I should ask. Yeah, okay. But if you wait till the end, you can get a good deal. Our guests on the podcast are the hosts of the podcast on brand, john Glover and Marissa Pinson. Hi, john and Marissa. Nice to see you. Hi, thank you for having us. Hello, it's lovely to be here. Now, obviously, I introduce you as the guest as the host of the

podcast on brand. Sure. But I think probably most people who are listening are excited to hear, apologies, John, Marisa, because she was one of the correspondents on IFC's The Grid, probably the most successful television program ever aired. I mean, that's why I'm here. She won't talk about it when we're alone. So that's why I'm doing this.

So this is like when all the hobbits get together at Comic-Con. I mean, that's why I'm here. She won't talk about it when we're alone. So that's why I'm doing this So this is like a this is like when all the hobbits get together Wow, what an honor yeah, this is gonna be a really big deal for Three people one of them being my mom. I don't know who the other two are, I pity them. As much as we are grateful for the Max Fund membership of Jordan, Jesse, Go listeners, the reality is that certainly for the three of us,

Jordan, Marissa and me, I can't speak for you, John, because you weren't on television's The Grid. I'll step out. But certainly the three of us. Leave the building. We don't need any money, much less accolades, because we collected too much during the nine months that The Grid was on television.

I mean, I made literally $300 every two weeks from The Grid. You know, I had to pay a parking meter, so I think I lost money working on The Grid. Because I do remember having to run out there with quarters. They made you go pick up lunch? Yeah, I'm in the hole a bit for my time on the grid. But you know what? I didn't get paid and they actually took away college credit. So I had to go to extra college to get my degree back? It has been temporarily revoked, sir.

They called UC Santa Cruz and said you were a bad, whittle boy. Yeah, you know, getting a chance to be on TV, though it was channel like 912. Sure. A pretty big deal in this town. Honestly, I haven't been on television since. I don't think I have either. I'm not here to complain. I think they hired the right people for the price they were willing to pay. Thanks. Thanks, Scott Ackerman, for putting me in five minutes of one episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But besides that, the grid is the absolute peak

of my career. And I'll tell you what, my phone has not rung since. So I make, it was right across the table. Do you need to fix your phone? I know a good Apple store. I'll be there at 10 tomorrow. I'll meet you there. Sometimes I wonder if the people from History Channel's

Christmas Through the Decades, which is the other thing I've been on in my television career, saw me on the grid and thought, we gotta get this guy. This guy probably can say something about the Christmas when everyone got pet rocks. John, do you have any impressive TV credits? Oh, I knew that you were gonna ask that. I was trying to remember.

I have been, no, Marissa doesn't even know this. What? Oh, see, God, and I shouldn't have said that. Filthy secret. I have been on Marissa doesn't even know that I have been on a game show before Love connection no, so years and years ago He's sad it was literally I was up late one night. My favorite podcast, made fun of me. And my favorite show, The Grid.

Wait, I gotta be honest about The Grid and I feel like I'm gonna get actual hate snail mail from this, I don't know what The Grid is. The Grid was like a 15 minute news show. A magazine style pop culture. So there were celebrities, I'm sure, coming in and out all the time. I interviewed a few celebrities, actually.

I don't remember who, but they weren't top-tier celebrities, but there were a couple of celebrities. If it's television, celebrities will come. Like, part of what they liked about it was that I was already interacting with celebrities for my public radio program, so I had their... I could be like, hey, can you also come on the grid on IFC? But there was a point where our friends Josh and Curtis were hired to write on the show and it sort of became a comedy show, but it was still a news show.

So Jordan did field pieces, right? Mostly field pieces. Yeah, I did a couple in-studio things and I did a couple of like, there was like a kooky film festival at the New Beverly I did. And I did the like release party for this book about Where these guys it's actually a pretty great book a book where they cataloged every punk that had ever appeared in a movie

Yeah, it was cool. It's a great book destroy all movies. I think it's called anyway Any hard-hitting pieces during this time? I did some Gulf War stuff Which had been over for many years. Have you actually, you might have heard of one of our correspondents, Wolf Blitzer? Have you, he went on to big things. That's how he got his start.

Yeah, and also Dr. Oz commercial. Unfortunately, Dr. Oz also got his own on the show, yeah. That's rough. But yeah. Again, I think IFC, you know, played mostly movies, so I think it was a thing where, you know with depending on the length of a movie They needed something to just go in between showings of Lake Placid one and Lake Placid two right during the potty breaks But this this amazing thing happened which was despite all the money that I was bringing in by doing

five-minute segments on Samsung Galaxy Notes, there was this point where literally they had decided to be always on slightly off. They decided to be like a comedy network and they were working on shows with, I remember Greg Barrent, I think the Sklar Brothers, a lot of our like alternative comedy friends were developing shows for IFC. And the first one, or one of the first ones to hit the air, the whitest kids you know had a show,

and one of the first ones to hit the air was Portlandia. And so in between the like first and second seasons of The Grid, which happened within a calendar year, the first season of like eight episodes of Portlandia aired and literally when they were going to make season three, the producers called me and they said, Jesse, we're so sorry.

The show makes money and is successful. However, Portlandia had a deal that they could renegotiate after the first season and they have asked for all the money that IFC has. So IFC literally cancelled all of the rest of their shows because they couldn't like because Lorne Michaels had them over a barrel to make more Portlandias so they just canceled everything else that they made at the time other than Lake Placid reruns in order to make more Portlandias which worked out great for them. I still think it was a mistake. They don't know what the third season of the grid was

gonna have and they never will and it's on them. I probably would have got Werner Herzog to come. You know now all of my TV credits are slowly coming back to me. It's been so long for some of them. I was also on a daytime television show hosted by Lisa Gibbons. Oh really? Do you remember Lisa Gibbons? Yes.

So I know I remember that as a name, but I, but I can't picture her nor what she did. You know who Hoda is? Yes. Yeah, okay. She walked so Hoda could run. Actually, Hoda, we're- Well, we celebrate Lisa Gibbons in as a trailblazer. We love how Hoda runs.

I'm here for Robin Roberts myself. So my friend did casting on that show and she called me one day, she's like, hey, we need some people to be on the show. Are you depressed? And I was like, no, I'm good. Are you sure? Because we were at a party last week

and I could kind of tell that you're all out the room. Basically she was. She's like, you can act depressed, can't you? And I was like, yeah. So I went to the Lisa Gibbons show. She's like, honey, we've hung out. Like, I know what's going on with you, sweetie. Literally, my lower third on the show

is John suffers from depression. And then she gave me, it was like all for like herbal medicine. She gave me Kava Kava from what I remember. And then I had to come back a week later and be like, I feel so much better because of the Kava Kava. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you, Lisa.

Thank you. Wow, Lisa's selling out. Yeah. Different time. To big Kava. Wow. What was the name of the show? Lisa with a Z?

I think it was just the Lisa Gibbons show. But wait, let's hear about the newlywed. Yeah, love connection. Love connection. Oh, we're going, okay. How long did it take them to come back from Brain? Man, that show, so I got on that show because it was literally like they just had commercials on at night, like at TV, like, you want to be on TV?

Call the Love Connection. And I called them, like a week later they called me, I had to go in for an audition. And remember, this is like straight people dating show. I'm a big homo. And I was like, okay. So I went in, I got it. You're medium sized. Perfectly ordinary size. Thank you. That was a test and you passed. But yeah I had to go on a date but it was. You went on a real date? I went on a date with this woman and we went to

Santa Monica and we went to like a color Me Mine place. That is a very romantic place. Couldn't be more classic date activity. Collabing on a mug. I made a vase for myself. I did not give it to her. Do you still have the vase? You know, I think I got rid of it. I did a purge a few years ago, and I think I finally was like, I've got to get rid of

the vase. Were there sparks? Were there sparks? Well, so we go on the show, and it was very much like, you gotta get rid of the vase. What, were there sparks? Were there sparks? Well, so we go on the show and it was very much like, you had no idea what's gonna happen. Like all of it, they put you in a room and then all of a sudden you're just like,

I was in a thing by myself looking at a screen of myself talking and she was saying the date, you know, was okay, but it didn't go great. And they had done a pre-interview before and the producer told me that she wanted to say, she thinks I'm gay. And I was like no no no no and she had also said she wanted to say she thought I was a little fatter than I appeared to be and I was like listen here's the thing one of these two offends me yeah you can call me gay but

you're not calling me fat on television so she tried to out me on TV and then she told a story how like after the date. John, can I ask you a question? Were you out at the time? I was. Okay, so it wasn't what she, but I'm very masculine. So I assumed that most people weren't aware. I was sitting here thinking, look at this guy,

he's masked must. I've got my legs, my hands and my knees. Then guys, you're never going to get this. So whatever, I wanted to get food afterwards. And then the host was like, so if the date wasn't going well, why did you want to get food afterwards? And I was like, well, listen, I figured I had a long ride home, so I would make her spend a little more money on me.

And if she wants to think I'm gay instead of not attracted to her, then that's fine with me. And the whole audience was like Whoa, and that was my big TV moment. Wow Congratulations. I love that. We're married now. We have four kids She was wrong y'all do a podcast about brands Do this this fun? Let me know if this is fun or not Tell me if it's not fun. This is a segment on the show that you guys haven't heard this segment probably before,

but this is probably our most famous segment it's called, Is This Fun? with Jordan Morris. And everyone just shouts, no, with their phone. Shut up. Can I also, just to clarify also, this is a good show. Everyone agrees that this show is good. Absolutely. We're very creative, have a lot of ideas implement on the show people appreciate them

And then they praise the program on its merit. This is the grid of podcast So let's all go around and see what we like about the Samsung Galaxy no Do you like the stylus? Can we all go around and say a couple of our favorite brands? Oh, that's very fun. I would love to hear about the brands that maybe like inspired the show. Are there any new brands that you're into?

Let's talk about brands. The brands that built us. Yes. John, you're wearing a Coca-Cola t-shirt right now. I was actually gonna bring that up. So our very first test episode a year and a half ago, and we're like, you know, let's do a podcast about brands. We both love brands.

So we just did a test in her living room, sitting on the couch, and we did it on Coca-Cola. And it was terrible. I mean, it was fine, but it was long and rambly. And that's because you didn't tell her you were gay first. She still doesn't know. You made her buy you dinner. Because you had a long ride home. So that's one of our lost episodes,

episode one, the Coca-Cola show. But yes, Coca-Cola for me is a very huge brand. My mom got me into collecting Coca-Cola stuff when I was a kid. Was that what your mom collected? You know the display, the standees that they have at stores? Was it Coca-Cola?

Yeah, she went in and asked for, I had growing up, the shelves in my bedroom were two liter Coca-Cola display shelves. So we were just always collecting. So I got started, we both got started at a very early age loving brand. Oh, for sure, yeah. And my lifestyle's a little different from John.

He's kind of a mover and shaker. I'm kind of a, you know. Sexually our lifestyles are very similar. Very similar. We both sleep with my husband. Got it. But aside from that, yes, that's why we started doing it. But my brand tastes are, you know, I like Levi's, I like Trader Joe's, I like Target.

You know, these are kind of pretty, I'd say, pretty run-of-the-mill conventional brands. I hate to tell you this. You're talking to a Levi's model. OK. Wow. I wish we had known that. We just did that app.

I was paid in t-shirts and jeans. I was 10 years old at the time. Oh, this is true. This is 100%. I'm from San Francisco, where Levi's is based. So I was at church. And a woman that my dad and I knew from church came up and said, Jesse. I've been staring at your ass all through mass and I gotta say, it looks great in these

jeans. Not in a professional way. She said, we need some models for our, it was this thing called the World Book, which was their like internal annual publication. Wow. And they had just launched the like, Button Your Fly, 501 Button Your Fly thing. There was like a bunch of kids,

like boys stuff related to it. And I remember we like went to Levi's headquarters and they like held up t-shirts, and I pointed to the one I liked best while a photographer took pictures. That's really cute. And it was a really big deal for me, because I did not have a lot of money to buy clothes. My family couldn't really buy.

My dad couldn't, especially, couldn't really buy me clothes. So the fact that I got to pick out anything I wanted, they took me into a room where I could just take Home anything I wanted I thought I said they weren't just like okay now give it all back Yeah, yeah, so just take it all off and leave it in a big pile on the floor We'll clean that you can keep your underwear Do your parents still have the catalog somewhere I've been wondering I've been wondering if it's somewhere I like there's a part of me that wants to save an eBay search. It

was the 1990 Levi's World Book. That's tricky because it's internal so you would have had to have an internal employee who snagged it. Yeah. No, you're not the only one that was in a catalog in this room I don't think. Marissa, weren't you also in a catalog? As a hair model? Yeah. I have been a hair model. Wow. You know when you're waiting at the barbershop, how there's sometimes these strange little magazines with them.

Oh, I thought you were going to say that you were one of those guys with the crew cut or the Ivy League. Exactly. Were you the fade? It's very, very similar. And you'd see these magazines. You're like, what are these? It's called like very similar. And you'd see these magazines, you're like, what are these?

It's called like cool haircuts, and it's like somehow a 40 page magazine of haircuts. So I did that in high school. I was recruited by my hairdresser. It's also some really good short stories and some really nice erotic stuff that is quite classy. John Cheever was originally published in Great Haircuts. Yeah, there's good stuff in there.

Yeah, so I did a little bit of modeling, too. Have you guys ever been models or just us? Yeah. Just us. I mean, privately. Yes, I've been a private model. We do private modeling. Private modeling, yeah.

They do some nude housecleaning. We get it, if that's what you're asking. We get it. Sure, sure, sure. That was a little, I don't know, I haven't seen these in a while, but that was a weird LA phenomenon for a while the van that advertised the nude maids Do you know anybody who actually did that? No? Love to interview about that. I've cleaned my own home topless sure

like an LA Weekly thing like a yeah, it's that kind of thing but the but it was distinguished by like Ford Aero stars that were painted pink that's that had you know topless maids and a phone number written huge on the side right right and like would park in kids like I remember seeing one I was I went to I went to Bel Air to interview Bob Newhart at Bob Newhart's house. Wow. And I had never been to Bel Air. You have to go through a gate to get to the part of Bel Air where Bob Newhart lives. He did not know you were coming.

Yeah, exactly. I stole him, brought him to the grid. But I remember at the gate of Bel Air was parked one of these vans that said, to get Bob Newhart to pay $200 to have a topless woman clean his house. If you can pay a topless woman to do anything, do you want to see her hunched over a toilet with a plunger

and a scrubber? I think you just also want, it's like, it's sort of like, if you're going to see a topless woman, wouldn't it be nice if she was also doing something useful? I think even as I'm saying it, I'm like, she's not actually cleaning the toilet, right? Like is she walking around? She's probably vacuuming, right?

Right, with like a, just like a feather duster, kind of daintily tapping things with it There's just has to be an easier way to see breath You know what you think so there's not It's really hard to see breasts I used to I used to work on low-budget movies And they had me be an extra once in a bar scene for a lap dance so this woman got on my lap and like is

had me be an extra once in a bar scene for a lap dance. So this woman got on my lap and is shaking her titties in my face and they finished it and the director came over and he's like, that wasn't great. He's like, why were your eyes closed? And I literally, I wasn't even kidding. I was like, well, I thought that's more sensual because I'm so into it. I'm like, yeah, baby, with my eyes closed.

He's like, no guy would have their eyes closed. The breasts are four inches from your face and your instinct as a straight man in your mind is to close your eyes. Look at TikTok. And that actress is like, I think he's gay. He doesn't look like his picture. And you're like, if she doesn't find me attractive.

Right. But you did make the stripper buy you dinner, right? Yes, that's on her. You got a long drive home. What low budget films have you worked on? Anything exciting? No, nothing. I mean, Santa with Muscles with Hulk Hogan, if you consider that. Hey, that's good.

I mean, yes. I know. It's a lot of that stuff that I don't think ever even made it to like, I don't even know if it ever made it straight to video. It's probably just like reels in a dumpster somewhere. But yeah, a lot of weird low budget stuff. I'd love to be on one of those dumpster reels. All I've ever done is I have seized the grid

and Christmas through the decades on the history channel. You guys do bring up the grid a lot. I'm starting to think modeling in the grid is all you really have in your path. Look, I also did a pilot for current TV and then they ran it on Virgin America planes for 10 years. It's fun to like think back.

We've all been doing this a while, to think back about the weird shit we worked for that is just not around anymore and like not remembered at all. I just assumed you were gonna say it's fun to look back and remember when Jesse had hair. No one remembers that.

It does seem mean that everything you've ever done just stays on the internet, which I don't think is something that we all really knew like 15 years ago. Like if you are in some weird little sketch on that somebody puts up on YouTube, that unless you can track down that person and they remember their YouTube password that it will exist forever. Yeah. I don't think that really fully like landed with me when I was agreeing to do, you know, these weird little shoots in 2008. I feel like I need it to prove to like, if I, for example, if I went and spoke to the

theater students at San Francisco School of the Arts, I would have to bring an episode of The Grid to prove. They'd be like, you work in a high school adventure. Fuck you. We know you. I swear. Steven, can we take a little break and we'll all go out and dive in a dumpster to find our proudest moments and then we can come back for a little more? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Goh. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Happy holidays, Jordan. Thank you to you too, and to Stephen and to the listener. And to whoever our guest is on this episode. Oh, I hope they're having a happy holiday. Most happy, most happy holiday of all to the members of Maximum Fun. We love them. To all others, a somewhat happy holiday of all to the members of Maximum Fund. We love them. To all others, a somewhat happy holiday. You still have time, by the way, this holiday to make your holiday bright by celebrating

your gifting with Jordan Jesse Goh. That's right. So we're looking at, first and foremost, we're looking at Jordan Jesse Goh merchandise. That's going to be at maxfundstore.com, including our new Actua t-shirts and mugs among others. Right. We've got other shirts. We've got some shirts with the most famous nicknames on them. Yeah, we got that great shirt that just has saying words.

Saying words because. What is a podcast if not. And of course, Jordan has two books available for you to purchase, two wonderful books available for you to purchase, two wonderful books available for you to purchase. The most recent of which is Youth Group, which is a spooky action-packed, hilarious delight for anyone in your life. Who wouldn't be thrilled to find that in their stocking come Christmas morning?

Sure. Maybe somebody that doesn't read English. That's right. That's right. Hopefully, we'll make it. We'll make a look at them. Hopefully we get it published in other languages. Poe and McGurdy made very nice pictures. That's true, and the characters are very expressive, so I think even if English wasn't your first

language you'd be able to have some fun with it. Yeah, with books, you can of course get it anywhere you get a book, your local indie bookstore, that's a great spot. But if you want to support an indie bookstore here in LA that I love, if you order the book through BookSoup, I'll sign it and personalize it for you. So you can have me write any dumb thing you want to in there. Keep a PG-13, please. But yeah, if you want, you know, got to get a son, some joke you and your dumb buddies

have together. I'll write it in there. You get yourself a book, you support a great indie, and they ship anywhere. So international. And you know what? If your support a great indie, and they ship anywhere. So international. And you know what? If your buddies aren't dumb, that's fine too. You and your buddies from Caltech or whatever can still have dumb joke and Jordan will write it in there.

That's true. All buddies. And if you wanna buy some beautiful antiques from me, it's putthisonshop.com. I also have some beautiful new handmade scarves and ball caps. All of those are at putthisonshop.com. We'll get them to you in time for Christmas. I also have some beautiful new handmade scarves and ball caps. All of those are at putthisonshop.com.

We'll get them to you in time for Christmas. You want to get a special jewel for the lady or gentleman in your life? Great news. putthisonshop.com has you covered. We also have a message this week up on the Jumbotron from the podcast Acceptance Criteria, a podcast about how software gets made and the people involved along the way, whether you work in tech or you're simply puzzled why your

favorite app broke everything in the last update, we dig into the good, the bad and the ugly of the world of tech. Go to acceptance pod.com or subscribe to Acceptance Criteria on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Our thanks to the Jordan Jessi Go listeners over at Acceptance Criteria. And if you have a message you would like to share with the Jordan Jessi Go audience and your Jordan Jessi Go listener, which I presume you are because you're listening to Jordan

Jessi Go right now. If you're not, there's a- How did that happen? Yeah, some shit's going down that I can't even begin to understand. Let us know how that happened. Just go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron and you can sign up. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Goh. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Marissa Pinson, slay at home mom. See, they were worried Jordan. They were worried and they still fucked up.

I know, I'm still disappointed in it. Glove box. I enjoy the glove box. Glove box is great, slay at home mom is great. I recently bought the glove box.com. So like uses a personal website? John has so many URLs. I have so many websites.

My first website I bought in like 1999, it still has a little man shoveling that says under construction. For like 20 years, that guy's been shoveling. I don't know what I'm gonna do with him, but someone will get him. Well, you have it. Someone will get him in my will.

I've had other John Glovers around the globe ask for them. Are you concerned that that guy is gonna get a repetitive stress injury? RSI? He has seen some shit, man. He has seen some shit. John, we skipped over your favorite brands. Do you have a favorite brand beyond Coca-Cola? Coca-Cola's a classic.

Right, literally a classic. Yes, I do. Before we get into that, just to give you an idea of how much I like brands. When I was a kid, I used to write companies. So when I was in, I think, elementary school, maybe, or junior high, I wrote the M&M company and asked them, because I really wanted to know

how they got the M on the M&M without breaking the delicate candy shell. That's a good question. Right? Yeah. They not only sent me a letter explaining the process. Jizz stencil. Jiz stencil? Jiz stencil? Jiz stencil?

Jiz stencil? Jiz stencil? This is what it's like co-hosting with Marissa. This is exactly what she would say. Yeah, it's a jiz-s-t-en-sel that they put against the candy shell. They blast on there. Is Jesse saying jiz-s-t-en-sel? We'll have to roll the tape back hard. We'll have to rewind it. We'll have to rewind it.

Steven, can I help real quick? What I said was jizz stencil. OK, we got it. We got it. OK, great. Hey, Siri, what's a jizz stencil? John, a jizz stencil is what they use to put the M on the candy shell of an M&M.

That's an inappropriate letter to send to a child. It was actually just a dick pic. I was like, OK. This is how we do it, bitch. I turned gay that moment. Here's an M&M and my dick. No, they were nice. They sent me a book and a coupon, which I still have,

because I thought it was more special to have the coupon. So favorite brands for me, probably Swatch. I've been a swatch collector since I was a young lad. Tell them how many swatches you have. I probably have 200, 250 swatches, and I have, I think, eight maxi swatches, which are like, if you don't remember. Those are the ones that are like a wall clock.

Seven feet swatches, yeah. So I've got a pretty impressive collection. What's the prize swatch? Technosphere, but that's not going to mean anything to you. Jordan, it's a technosphere. Actually, the prize one now would be a maxi one, which was an artist's rendition of a Mickey Mouse watch that came out in 2018. Sold out everywhere. They only made 300 of them.

You had to pick it up in person. I found one in Times Square the day before Thanksgiving They were open till midnight convinced my friend Jordan in New York City to go to that swatch store and get it for me Wow What's this watch that you're wearing? Because it is actually this came up because we noticed what a great watch you were Yeah, so swatch has been trying to kind of go back to the roots the last two years They've done a collection called then I love that. I'm showing it like the people I'm just holding my arm up like an idiot.

A neon collection. So they're trying to bring back some of their like 80s designs I think to get to people like me. And that's kind of what this is. This is a much bigger watch than I would normally wear. I like the old school swatches. But I used to, I mean, I would honestly write swatch probably once a month when I was a kid.

And just be like, I jerk off to your watches, man. I love them. And they would send me stickers. You should talk to our friends at M&M. One day all these men just knocked on my door. I haven't seen my parents since. They'd send you stencils for your swatch. Nobody has cum stencils.

Now on Shark Tank it's going to be like, hello sharks. Tired of wasting your cum and stencils? I have a question. Your cum just go down the drain without writing anything? Shark Tank's gonna be like, hello sharks. Tired of wasting your cum and stencils? I have a question. Your cum just go down the drain without writing anything? Is the fact that I'm wearing a G-Shock watch right now make me your bitter rival? Ugh, John's blood is boiling.

That's like when you're in a text chain and one person is green. It's like, ugh, what the fuck are you? I'll tell you, I also wrote to some brands in my time. In middle school, I was like assigned to write to a few different things, like letters of compliment, right, or something. And I wrote a letter to Jesse Jackson.

What kind of school did you go to? You were assigned Jesse Jackson? Compliment him. He will appreciate it. I wrote a letter to Jesse Jackson. I wrote a letter to San Francisco Giants pitcher Dave Dravecki who had like come back from cancer to play baseball and I was gonna make a we get at your straight joke and then you brought up fucking cancer

So now I'm sitting on it, but I still wanted to get it Well, you know then later when I was in arts high school doing theater Oh back to gay in San Francisco Yes, yes. I wrote a letter, I was the president of the Dr. Pepper Club. Straight. Which I started. Is that a straight soda?

I don't, yeah. What was, can you give us? All those spices. Give us an idea. Give us an idea. Yeah. Which, okay, which. How gay are the bigger popular show day?

What could be more homosexual, Jordan, than the various smells of a turn of the 20th century pharmacy? It's not Cherry 7 Up, it's fucking Dr. Pepper. Okay, so sexuality is a spectrum, obviously. It's not a binary. We're all fluid here. Steven, could you dim the lights? John, can you please place the sodas?

Steven, get my gist, that's all. Place some of the national soda brands on that spectrum for us, John. Oh, we're going through the sexuality of sodas? Straightest to gayest. Yeah, which sodas are DTF? I mean, Pepsi's really straight. Okay. Pepsi's like, stupid straight.

Is the new generation itself straight? Oh, God, don't even get me started on the new gen. Gay-est? There used to be, oh it probably died, there used to be a soda called Wink. I would say that was probably, okay. And it came in like a big glass bottle, like bigger than, like probably a liter, but my parents would get it for us kind of like as the kid champagne for like special events. Oh, that's really fun.

Let me ask you this, and this is a very sincere question because it's the first soda that popped into my mind and I couldn't place it on the spectrum, or in Gina. Oh, bye. Bye. Bye sounds right to me. I was going to say bye. Who's the chaotic bye of sodas?

I'm thinking of maybe like a European speedo, but not in just a European way. Sure, yeah, a little glass bottle. Those curves though. Bye. I feel like an Orangina will fuck your wife, but also suck a dick. Like whatever comes down the pike, it's down for. Not a soda, but gayest beverage bottle?

Palm. That's wonderful. For sure not a soda but gayest beverage bottle Is like a straight-up butt plug John came over to my house a few days ago. I'm having a palm moment He pulls out of his bag a palm and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing bringing a palm into my home in? 2024 and he's like I'm having a bit of a palm moment. I haven't seen or heard, there was like a big push for palm. I feel like 2005, I mean, was that really the last time that I saw a palm commercial? Tom really got out there, pushed the brand alongside,

I'm gonna say, Pistachios. Sure, yes. Exact same thing. I think they're the same company. Could be the same plant. They start with P. Okay, here, palm, pistachios, jet blue. Oh, okay.

Okay, yes. These are all the same. What a moment in time. If you were sitting on a jet blue flight, you're drinking a palm and eating pistachios, honestly, life was about to get a lot worse. Yeah.

That was like the last time you would be happy for a long time. We never could have envisioned. We didn't know. On that, on that, on that more surprisingly roomy JetBlue flight. I'll tell you this about that JetBlue flight, did not have current TV, did have IFC. You could watch The Grid. You could not watch The Sound of Young America on current, but you could watch The Grid on IFC. You could watch The Grid. You could not watch The Sound of Young America on Current, but you could watch The Grid on IFC. Okay, when something momentous happens

to you, like you see The Grid on your JetBlue flight, give us a call, 206-984-4FUND, or send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfund.org. This person has done that, and now we will listen to what they have left us. Hey, Jordan, Jesse Guest. This is long-time listener Jenny here. Just wanted to weigh in on the topic of your demographic. As I was listening to the most recent episode with your guest, Jenny, you began talking about clogging and I realized like I might be the only clogger who listens to Jordan Jesse Goat. I'm not a current clogger, a former clogger. I think my sisters and I actually

represent a specific Midwestern millennial crossover clogging and emo demographic if we're really getting into the weeds. Anyway, I just thought I would, you I would report for duty as your emo clogging listener. Thanks. I don't think, I think we got more than one email. Yeah, Jenny, sorry. I would guess 70, 80%. I mean, I understand that she's a former clogger. Like we want to, I don't know about current cloggers, clogging eats its young, from what I hear. I don't think there is a current clogger. I think all cloggers are former cloggers.

Yeah, it's one of those things that just wears you the fuck out, you know? It just really leaves you, leaves you as like a fuckin', a discarded tissue on a street corner. Right, yeah. However, not unlike jizz stenciling. Mm-hmm. But- I gotta stop at Michael's tomorrow. Yeah. However, not unlike just stenciling But I stop at Michael's tomorrow

Weirdly easier to get in it hobby lobby Okay brands you guys have not said brands that you guys like and I just told you I was the president of the dr Pepper Club, I wrote a letter to Dublin dr You guys have not said brands that you guys like. I just told you I was the president of the Dr. Pepper club. I wrote a letter to Dublin Dr. Pepper, which is there's a bottler of Dr. Pepper. I don't think, I think they like lost their license, but they were the only, they were the only bottler in the United States that was allowed to alter the recipe and they made it with sugar instead of corn syrup. Everything about this lost their license, made up their own recipe.

I can't believe someone that was given- Declared themselves an independent country. Exactly. It turned out the brain was a criminal's brain. It turns out a brand- They got a bunch of guns, they held up the FBI, stormed the factory. Very interesting. The one thing about brands consistency

No, you do what you want gonna tinker around on it a bit. I think we can improve on the original There's 17 spices you figure it out But I they sent me a big box of dr. Pepper stuff Including a VHS tape that I was supposed to return to them and never did Well, I mean you can't expect it a kid to return a VHS tape. I agree entirely. What was on the tape? It was like a...

Great question. Yeah. It was like... You watch it and seven days later you die, right? It was just a guy decorating the can. Oh, okay. With a... Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Kind of a stencil. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. It'd have to be a small stencil, right, for an M&M? That's a tiny target. Yeah. Oh, man. I have inappropriate jokes that I won't. Your favorite brand.

What is your favorite brand? Oh, thank you. Yeah, let's see what brand. So I'm a big Vans guy. I've always worn Vans. Clearly. I can't help but notice that as we sit here, Jordan and John are on team Canvas Sneaker,

and Marissa and I are on team Loafer. And we've also got the shirts with the Japanese writing. And we're former models. That's funny. Yeah, and we're former models. And we're going to fuck, and you're going to fuck, and we'll meet back here in seven days. And Steven's going to do whatever he wants out there.

Yeah. Representing Crocs. Oh, hell yeah. So yeah, Big Band's got, and you know, I had this thought recently. I'm playing this very fun video game called Astro Bot for the PlayStation 5. Cute.

He's a very cute little robot. It's a platformer. And it is kind of like, it is kind of a love letter to PlayStation. You're a little robot and you're collecting all of the PlayStation characters throughout the years. And I'm like, huh, I guess I love PlayStation. Like when I found Crash Bandicoot out there,

I went, ah! So I'm like, huh, I guess I like love PlayStation. He stressed me out. Crash always stressed me out. All those hyper characters. Settle down, Crash. Yeah, crazy taxi stressed me out. All those driving ones.

Just give me a nice normal taxi. Yeah, I just want to go at a normal speed. How about walk bandicoot? Thank you. Sonic? Are you in the like, do you like subscribe to the magazine's playstation monthly? Do you follow? Do you playstation monthly?

1985. I never thought this would happen to me. Do you call the hotlines? I do yeah to get tips. Are you on the, cause I think that is a way to reveal what you're a fan of. Is what message boards are you on? What communities are you engaging in? Cause I think that's very revealing.

Oh yeah I guess I don't interact with play. Yeah, like the fandom. No meetups. I'm not going to crash meetups. Jordan's on R slash root beer. I'm on R slash root beer. You're on R slash stencil. I mean we've all got an R. I'm, Jordan is dedicated to R slash root beer. I'm dedicated to R slash marbles. Martin is dedicated to r slash root beer. I'm dedicated to r slash marbles. That's good. Here's the thing. If you need to scroll on your phone in late 2024, you just want some nice wholesome subreddits where no one brings up current events, r slash marbles, r slash root beer, I'm going to suggest

r slash Archie comics. These are fun places to go where no one acknowledges the outside world. That sounds really safe. I'm a big r slash dogs on roofs guy. Oh. I'm an r slash vinyl records and r slash Harry Styles guy. Though you have been banned. I was banned.

I was banned. I'm not allowed to comment because I was new to Reddit and I didn't know when I make a hilarious joke. I had to say like s slash something like it that it would sarcasm. And I did that twice and got banned. Well one time I didn't one time I said that whatever 7-Eleven was selling Teller Swift vinyls and they didn't like that. So I did two jokes and I got banned for life.

Are you your pro Harry Styles anti Taylor Swift LP? No, I like both. I like both, I like both, I like both. You were just trying to whip people into a frenzy and get them to storm their local 7-Eleven? I have issues with Taylor. If we wanna get in, do we wanna get into it? My issues with Taylor, she takes advantage of her fans.

She releases the same album 40 times. Each one will have one extra song and her fans will buy all 40 of them. I have issues with that. So she kept releasing and releasing. I was like, now she's released them at 7-Eleven. It was like immediately taken down. I was put on a three-day ban. I was like, oh, I didn't know Reddit was like this. And then like nine months later, I made another joke and I woke up and I was devastated because I'm a good boy. I don't like to get in trouble. And like some nerd, I picture some now,

I picture some nerd out there is like and I this is what's even more embarrassing I wrote him. I didn't give it a day I like to give things a day before I like respond to him I wrote him immediately and try to like give him my credentials as like I worked for James Why would that matter I don't know I just thought that I wanted to give him like pristine The reason is that R slash vinyl records is actually based deep under this city. Oh, I see, yes.

OK. And I was just trying to impress them. And they're like, sorry, we're keeping the band. I got banned from R slash frugal male fashion. For what? Because I have a vintage store. And I had, with permission, made sales for r slash frugal mail fashion on my vintage store.

OK. And at the time, I was. Like if they're a member of the subreddit, they get a deal or something? Yeah, exactly. And at the time, I was like a minor online menswear celebrity. And so I would like come up. I would like my name would come up

Why are you laughing? He was testing that. He was seeing that we would accept that. We're accepting that. That's the true thing. That's real. You're still laughing, which is me. No, I'm just happy for him. And um and so like the people would they give me latitude in the menswear reddits Uh-huh Because I was a famous man And my like my reddit name is just my name right so people would know that it was me right and then the rules of

frugal male fashion changed from you have to ask before you post your own thing to Know posting your own thing and I did not notice I had previously had had permission to post something every once in a while. Then when I posted something, it was instant permaban. And I like messaged and no one messaged me back. Wow. Mods reinstate.

I just want to occasionally offer a comment or a sale on someone else's website that I noticed. I just want to be a valuable member of the community. You're trying to do good. A celebrity doing good. I know. Have you ever met, like, who are mods, like, in the world? Like, who are they?

It reminds me of the- I only meet rockers. That's the same. Paul Weller. I picture, like, this Seinfeld episode where Elaine was, like, getting movie recommendations, like, whoever's picks at the video store. Oh, that's right, yes. And then she finally goes and sees him,

and it's like this 12-year-old kid. That's what I picture all mods being like. Good boy. Just boys. They take that power, and they are thrilled to have it. Yeah. My wife, when we were teens, my wife worked at a video store. She had a pick shelf.

I was so jealous of her because her pick shelf, which was like eight movies or whatever, was like the eight movies she'd seen in her life. She just grew up in a family where they didn't really watch movies. It's not that they were bad or something. It was like Wayne's World, I remember, was there. Who doesn't love Wayne's World? Only an asshole. But it was literally like every movie she'd ever enjoyed. Like the last unicorn, yeah.

Same picks for years. You're not like picking, being like, oh wow, Italian film, you know. And I'm like, you don't understand! This is the only thing that defines my sense of self! I just think it never got any better than The Great Outdoors. Yeah, how do you have a personality if you don't know I know she apparently was getting satisfaction from

interpersonal relationship Which I don't need I still struggle with that one is your current pick shelf just the grid Do you think I could get a picture? Do you think video tech would give me a picture? I was going to suggest it. I bet they would give you a picture. There's a fucking video store like immediately next to my house. Got to get in there. And there's a comic who was on Jordan Jesse Goh recently who works there.

And like when I go in there, sometimes the owner will be there. He's very sweet. And I'll just be like, and I'll just try and like, be careful to like mention like, the other day they were, they had a Geary the Wrath of God on the TV. And I was like, oh, I've actually, I've met Werner Herzog a couple of times. And he's a really interesting guy.

You gotta make the guy seem like it's his idea to give you the shelf. Exactly, I can't just go in and say, can you give me a big shelf? I just gotta demonstrate that I'm a fucking Hollywood insider. You gotta send a note to the mods and let them know you worked for Jim Cameron. They were not impressed with that. Does he even have a shelf? Oh, there's lots of special shelves.

Well, that sucks, because as I say, you could just say, hey man, I ended up with this extra shelf. Do you want it? Oh, bring in your own? Shelf on the sidewalk outside, I think it's trash should I throw it away or do you just want to? Put my favorite movies on it and I have a diverse selection to make me seem like a person that has a variety of interests Some high stuff and some low stuff. What's this flash drive that says the grid on it? I don't know. I'm just going to leave it on this shelf. These are just DVRs. I'll tell you this, John.

You mentioned that you had a Coca-Cola shelf as a kid. Ah. I actually, at the flea market a week ago, I bought a Mr. Peanut shelf. Oh. It's actually only the Mr. Peanut portion of the shelf. So if you imagine that the sides of the shelves are standees of Mr. Peanut that are like four feet tall.

Yeah. But then shelves run in between the two Mr. Peanuts. I just bought one of the Mr. Peanuts. I initially thought it was just a big sign. That's awesome. I highly, that's a big thumbs up from Homo John. Thank you. A.K.A. the Glove Box.

Mr. Peanut is definitely the gayest peanut mascot. Of the peanut mascot. Monocle, cane, top hat. What a fucking legend though, Mr. Peanut. He was stenciled on as a baby. You know his, Mr. Peanut's name isn't Mr. Peanut. What? It's Peanut.

No. Okay, hold on. Sorry, I hope I didn't. Why don't we do this. What? It's Peanut. No, no. Okay, hold on. Sorry, I hope I didn't. Why don't we do this? It's something fucking insane. Oh, this is an actual thing. Why don't we, totally real.

Okay, let's take a quick break. Let's take a quick break. I will Google Mr. Peanut's actual name and I will blow your minds with what it fucking is when we come back. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hello? Hey, is this Meredith? It is. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Yeah, as the member of the month you are going to get a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fund store, you get a special member of the month bumper sticker, and you get to use a special

parking spot at the Maximum Fund headquarters in Los Angeles, California. Definitely getting plenty of return on my investment. I have not worked through all the bonus content yet. If you're a MaxFun member, you can become the next MaxFun member of the month. Support us at MaximoFun.org slash join. Hello teachers and faculty. This is Janet Varney. I'm here to remind you that listening to my podcast, The JV Club with Janet Varney,

is part of the curriculum for the school year. Learning about the teenage years of such guests as Alison Brie, Vicki Peterson, John Hodgman, and so many more is a valuable and enriching experience. One you have no choice but to embrace, because yes, listening is mandatory. The JV Club with Janet Varney is available every Thursday on Maximum Fun or

wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you. And remember, no running in the halls. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boyd, detective. John Glover, James Cameron's friend. Marissa Pinson, friend of John, who is friends with James Cameron. Have you ever been on one of the fucking submarines? No, I'm too scared of that. What's the point of knowing James Cameron

if you're not gonna go on a submarine? Do you guys wanna know what Mr. Peanut's real name is? I'm on the edge of my seat, because I did not know that wasn't his name. So you would assume that his full name would be something like Jonathan Peanut. Franklin Peanut. Or even if it was just like Big Dick Peanut.

Something legume. Mr. Peanut's full name. Bartholomew Richard Fitzgerald Smythe. I hate that. No. I have a question about this. Yes. I hate that. So is Mr. Peanut like Mr. Universe? Is it like a title? Oh that passes down from living peanut to living peanut?

He just happens to be the reigning peanut of the year and we vote every year and he just keeps winning. Let's get a new peanut in there. Like Miss Teen Virginia? You enter a peanut pageant? Yeah, or a Highlander. You have to cut off his head. Or is it a thing where he's never been called Mr. Peanut, and it's just like a collective hypnosis

that we all call him Mr. Peanut. I guess he's never been referred to that. It's just his nickname. It's like Glovebox. Thank you. OK. So this guy who happens to be a nut, a peanut, his real name is just Bartholomew Richard Fitzgerald Smythe and People just call him mr. Peanut. Yeah, for sure. I guess if I knew him, I'd probably call him. Mr. Peanut, too

He walks up, but he's a big peanut. He has this cane. I'd say hey, mr. Peanut. What do you want for lunch? I would yeah, I would do that too. There are three treats that I associate with my father. They all surround the intersection of 30th and Mission streets in San Francisco, which is right by where I lived with my dad in an apartment when I was like nine or ten. One is there was a grocery store right there on the corner and as I was waiting for the bus, if we were early, my dad a few times said, I could go in there and choose any drink. But it was a Mexican grocery store

and the only drink choice was Kern's Nectar. So many Kern's Nectars in a day. Drink a buy-in. Drink a buy-in. And I would buy them out of obligation. Like I felt like I needed to choose a drink because I could get any drink, but the only choice there was Kern's Nectar. So that's one.

The other two were things that they sold at the Walgreens on the corner. And those were jar of dry roasted Mr. Peanut's Peanuts, which was like the only like special snack food that my dad would have in the house. And then also big blue metal tin of butter cookies. There you go. Those are good.

Dutch butter cookies. There's something about dads and planners' peanuts. My dad would always get a jar when he'd go on road trips and crack that open and that smell. And there's that coating on them. They're like a weird nut. They're not just salted. They have like a whole.

There's like a glaze. There's like a lazy something kind of a Male kind of stenciled mail I think that jar lends itself to being drank drank you know what I mean You knock it back choke on some nuts Korean into the Something about that and it does fit in a cup holder pretty well too. Wow, that's a good road trip snack. One of the stories, one of the Glover family lore stories

is when my dad was a younger man, he got a peanut stuck in his nose and it was up there for quite a long time. How long? Long enough that one day he was in church and sneezed and the peanut came out and had sprouted. This sounds like a folk tale. But it's like we believe it was such sincerity.

It's dad, he's not gonna, I gotta ask him about that. And he's still, he was a fan of the nuts even after that. Oh, my dad loves nuts. Mm-hmm. What are you laughing at? That's a normal sentence. Why would you laugh at that normal sentence? He likes to get a couple nuts in his mouth at all times. What? Yeah, it's a great snack. It's a really good, it's healthy. Like son, like father. Oh no, I'm out now. Sounds a little gay. This is weird. The other day, I'll tell you a father snack thing.

My dad's like- Oh, I know a couple of fathers who are snacks. Antonio Banderas. I don't know if he has kids. He probably does. My father's like special snack was, this special sweet snack was a mint Milano cookie. Oh, OK.

And the special salty snack was a then Granny Goose potato chip sweet Maui onion. Oh, wow. So many words. Now I believe Hawaiian potato chips is its own brand. Yes. Granny Goose potato chips no longer exist. But Sweet Maui Onion potato chips,

and I always have loved Sweet Maui Onion potato chips. They're great. I still love them to this day. But the other day, I got these, there's these kind of potato chips called Voodoo potato chips. Have you ever had these? My favorite chip. She loves them. They have a gigantic bag at Costco right now. Okay, so I bought the Costco bag.

It's like a 15 pound bag. It's all the flavors. Yes. This is a story about the Costco bag. Marissa, I'm glad that you brought up the Costco bag. I'm so glad we're talking about this. We get it, you're gonna fuck, we're gonna fuck. Model's diet.

Marissa. Boodoo potato chips. Boodoo chips and cigarettes. Marissa, first of all, you should know that I'm a major Costco celebrity having appeared recently in Costco Connection magazine. Wait, wait, oh my god, I read Costco Connection cover to cover, I remember I saw you in it.

Wait, it's in your purse, grab it! Can you sign this? John makes fun of me because I read Costco Connection in AARP. I read the AAA magazine. In the AAA, Westways. Westways, yeah. A lot of good stuff in Westways.

This is the trifecta of boring old person magazines. AARP, a lot of people don't know, anytime over the age of 18, you can join AARP and you can get really good discounts. Really good discounts. Maybe AAA is one of my brands. Maybe it's Vans, Playstation, and AAA. Did you ever have to get a Triptych? Do you remember those? I know what you're talking about. I never did one. Okay. So I was eating these voodoo chips and I bought the giant bag from Costco. I was the only one in my entire family who ate them and I ate all of them. Same, yes. And I don't

know why. They just weren't willing to try them or whatever. You know what? Sneak in the pantry and grab yourself a little handful. No one has to know what time of day it is That's between you and the bag. They're sweet. They're sour. There's a little bit of zing There's incredible chips and I I'll tell you this is a real thing. I liked them so much that I realized I liked them better than sweet Maui onion and Felt bad for my dead dad them better than sweet Maui onion and felt bad for my dead dad. That's genuinely sweet. That is a true thing that really happened to me. Can I say when you said I like them so much, in my head I was like, please have gotten a tattoo, please tell me you got a tattoo. And you just lift up your shirt and it's a whole bag. Yeah. I also did that. That is very sweet

though. If there's ever a chip that's worth betraying your late father, this is the chip to do it. Can I ask you this about snacks in New Orleans? And Jordan, you spent some time in New Orleans yourself, both as an adult and as a child with family in Texas and Louisiana. I was in New Orleans for my friend Pete's wedding about a year ago and I was in that grocery store and I certainly ate some of those voodoo chips. However, I also ate the shit out of some deep-fried

peanuts. You guys ever eaten deep-fried peanuts? No, I'm happy I've heard of that. I'd love to try them. Deep fried peanut is in the shell. You eat it shell and all. No, no. That's like soft shell crab. It's like eating fingernails. It's so good. No. Jesse, you are the best.

Get out of here. Jesse, that was a Bayou trick. They were playing on the city boy. I'm the new co-host. You're out. Can I be out too? Wait, we're fucking. He said he was celebrity chef Paul Prudeau.

But it was just Dom Delwees. Was it a buy you trick, Jesse? Fun fact, one of my low budget movies. Dom Delwees actually starred his son. What was his son's name? Oh, I forget. We had one named Dom Junior.

Fitch Gerald Smythe. Dom Delwees. We would be, I mean, I forget. We had one named Dom Jr. It's Gerald Smythe. Dom DeLuis. We would be, I mean, low budget. Usually low budget movie is like 17 days, 12 days. They're short, fast and furious. Dom DeLuis, you could never find him where he's supposed to be. He would always be in the homeowner's kitchen cooking up a stew. And the guy was humongous.

Wait, just the house you were renting. The house that we were renting. He would use the kitchen to make his own stew. The owners were so happy, they're like, Dom DeLuises and they're making a stew. And this guy is at his heaviest, he's sweating, and one of the only things I remember, when that bitch took off his hat, wow.

Just like it was as though you had, as though the levee had broken. I have never experienced anything like that. Did it all splash into the stew? It was like a cartoon, like green hand smoke going around into all of our nostrils. But John, I don't mean to put too fine a point on it though. Oh boy.

Dom DeLuis could get it though, right? Dom DeLuis, he could get it! Did you fuck him? I jerked him off. Into the stew. I jerk off Dom DeLuis. Sure, legend icon. You guys are fucking, you guys are greatest. Come on. Now or then? The voice of itchy and all dogs go to heaven. I don't know if I could get down in there in time. Show some respect. I'm not your fucking GIF on your website. I can't do that much digging to get down there and jack off Tom Billowee's now. Another same movie, same movie.

Rodney Dangerfield was in it, always high as a kite, couldn't memorize a line to save his life. We had to tape his lines on fruit bowls all over the place. Oh, that guy was like legendarily high all the time. Just like deeply blazed. What's this movie? I kind of want to watch it. It was called The Godson, and I do think it came out on video.

OK. And it was like a Godfather parody. Yeah. I think I remember seeing this in a video store. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I love this.

This seems like something Grace would want to watch. I know. Grace would want to watch this. Was there a simmering pot of stew in the background of every shot? He like had cookbooks. So one of Dom DeLuise's kids was friends with these guys that I know that have an antique store in Alta Dino where Jordan lives. And they were out at them.

They sell out at the at the Rose Bowl Flea Market. And I was hanging out with them out there at the Rose Bowl Flea Market. And they just had a stack of signed Dom DeLuis shit that they had just found in their friend's basement or whatever, and he's like, can you sell these for me? And so it was just a stack of postcards of Dom DeLuis in a chef's hat cooking, because he wrote a bunch of cookbooks

that were autographed, and I got one for Jordan and one for me. It was a lovely gift. All stews. I mean, as smelly as he was, I was starstruck. I mean, I was fresh off the boat. I was like, oh my God, that's Dom Deloitte. I made it, Hollywood, I'm here.

Dom Deloitte is fucking great also. Like Dom Deloitte is super funny. Speaking by the way of Dom Deloitte, on our members only podcast, Gracie's Game Gauntlet, we agreed to give away to a listener member a vintage Burt Reynolds Lonnie Anderson t-shirt that I purchased at a garage sale. I know, it's very generous of me to forego the $35 I could have sold this for in the Put This On shop at putthisonshop.com. Do you have any Voodoo chips you could buy with that. I know

Especially a Costco prices, right? Five bags. Yeah, four or five probably Wow four or five And Stephen it's time for us to announce the winner. Stephen, who is taking home this Bert Reynolds Bonnie Anderson t-shirt? The helicopter coming to announce that Lindsay M has won. Congratulations, Lindsay M. And thank you to all the members of Maximum Fun

who make Jordan Jesse Go pop. Look, if you're a member of Maximum Fun, but you don't listen to Jordan Jesse Go, you didn't check Jordan Jesse Go on the list, we don't get a penny from you and you can go suck a lemon. Thank you. Yeah, that's right. I'm not the owner of Maximum. Uh-oh, I'm an employee owner now. Please support Maximum Fund no matter what shows you listen to. Well, John and Marissa, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you so much for making the time. We've had a ball. Thank you so much for having us.

Thanks so much for sharing some of your favorite brands with us. Oh, please. It was a joy to be here. Voodoo chips, that's on the list. Best brands. Marissa, you ever call 1-800-SHOP-TJs? You know, I haven't. Have you?

I think about it all the time. Anytime I'm at the Trader Joe's, I'm thinking about 1-800-SHOP-TJs. You know, I would kill for a job at the fearless flyer What a dream. I leave my family. I believe it all that's a great writing gig. Those are all Ivan Reitman grandchildren. Well speaking of phone numbers Thanksgiving is coming up. Have you ever called the butterball hotline? No, is that a fun hotline? I've never called it either. You call it for help with your turkey.

Yeah. And I just call it to Jack. I don't know. Lonely on Thanksgiving, call the Butterball Hotline. I need help. You know, when I need help with my turkey, I just call that topless maids. Right.

They're great cooks. They make an amazing stew. Gobble, gobble. On Brand is the name of John and Marissa's podcast. They're great cooks. They make an amazing stew. On Brand is the name of John and Marissa's podcast. You can find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Jordan Jesse Goh is produced by Stephen Ray Morris, our producer emeritus Brian Sunny D. Fernandez. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design.

Thanks to The Free Design and thank you to their label, Light in the Attic Records. By the way, Jordan, Free Design, real band. Not just fucking catalog music, it's a real band that actually let us use their song for free 15 years ago. Probably should have charged us this whole time. So please go buy their albums because they're fucking tremendous. Free Design. You can find us on Instagram at jordandavidmorris at jesse thorn very famous.

You can find us in your holiday gift pile by buying Jordan's brand new book Youth Group or visiting bookthesonshop.com. And you can find us on the next episode of Jordan Jesse Go because we will be back next week on Jordan Jesse Goh. Talk to you later, goodbye. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.