Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Working Class Sexy Dances, with Matt Lieb

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

This week Jordan and Jesse are delighted and, frankly, honored to welcome comedian/producer of JJGo! Matt Lieb (Pod Yourself A Gun) to the show to talk sexy bands, summer boi activities, and if he is doing a good job.Hey all of England... come see Jordan, Jesse, Go! live at the London Podcast Festival in London on September 14th! You can buy your tickets here! Pre-order Jordan's upcoming Archie Horror comic "Camp Pickens" at your local comic shop NOW with code APR231183! On shelves 6/21! Get your signed copy and meet Jordan on July 1st from 1-4pm  at Golden Apple Comics.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, filthy casual. Oh, wow. Okay, so my understanding of you previously, Jordan, was that you were hardcore. Yeah, I thought so too yeah i thought so too i thought so too i'm taking this the hardest this is huge this is devastating for you i got a phone with your mom and she's really broken up about this so i wouldn't yeah no i know she couldn't come

at a worse time yeah couldn't have come at a worse time. Yeah, I mean, Brad had that rough trombone concert. Yeah, I mean. I don't know. Christmas is going to be rough this year. I am not looking forward to Christmas, which I usually do because I love presents. This year. Hoo-ba-dee-boo. Hoo-ba-dee-boo. do because i love presents this year bad news jordan this year instead of egg

nog your mom made shrimp nog oh man things just keep getting worse wait is that to punish me for being a casual yeah i love eggs. I hate shrimp. She was also upset about Brad's trombone concert. Oh, so she's punishing both of us? Yeah, it's a trombone ensemble in this scenario.

Okay. That is a description of real life. Sure. No, it's bad. It's bad. Yeah, again, I thought I was hardcore. I thought I was, I thought I was hardcore. I thought I was, you know, aficionado. I thought I was an appreciator of, you know, the finer things, nuance. But turns out I'm just a fucking Ugg boot wearing, pumpkin spice chugging, shopping at Target, going in for a couple of things, end up spending a hundred bucks. That's me. That is who I am now. How did you find this out?

So it's all started out, you know, pretty hardcore. I was going to see. You're exiting your mother's body. Literally. What's more hardcore than birth from a womb fucking nothing black flag has nothing on moms this is hear that ronald's boringest comedy special more spoken word i don't think he ever said it was yeah it's charming and you're but yeah are you laughing i don't think so um listen i was going to see a concert by very credible um you know high-minded musical artist elvis costello one of my favorites it's one of your all-time favorites and you one of my favorites hardly find a more credible musical artist than

the great singer songwriter yeah elvis costello like i'm not this is i'm not going to an ed sheeran concert okay i'm not going to ed sheeran no no but you know you understand what i'm what i'm the distinction i'm making here right but i mean if an ed sheeran song comes on when you're at the grocery store or whatever you listen to some of it and you're like yeah i can see why people like you're bopping around a little bit hey that's pretty good yeah sure it's not the most original thing on planet earth but he does a good job sure should i have said maroon five yeah five is way worse okay five really could could be a lot worse than they are but i'm giving some credit here to maroon 5. Okay. So anyway, I'm not, I'm not, this isn't some, you know, this isn't some middle

of the road, you know, grocery store act. This is innovative. This is one of the edgiest grocery store acts in the world. Right. You know, maybe watching the detectives comes on in Whole Foods,

like a cool Whole Foods in a cool part of town. My favorite Elvis Costello song is Come on, Eileen. Oh, boy. So I was at the beautiful Greek theater. Have you ever seen a show at the Greek, Jesse? Oh, yeah. Well, I said to my wife, get me to the Greek. Right. That's what I said. my wife, get me to the Greek. Right.

That's what I said. She brings you a Russell Brand DVD? And we watched the National. I went to a National concert. Great. I'm sure that was great. My wife was pregnant and the music made her feel sick, so we left. Ah.

But I'm sure you could appreciate, for the time you were there, the beautiful scenery, great acoustics. Incredible place. Very mopey, in beautiful scenery, great acoustics. Incredible place. Very mopey in my limited experience. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. More of an ennui kind of feeling.

Not like a, yeah. So I'm there. I'm looking forward to it. I couldn't be more excited to see one of my faves. I will say, interesting, just kind of waiting kind of observing the crowd waiting waiting for him to go on um the audience uh a little a little a little old this audience um i would say that the men in the audience two styles were very prominent dan flashes and Driving Crooner.

Most men were either dressed from Dan Flashes or dressed as the Driving Crooner. And this is at the Elvis Costello concert? Yeah, you know, I think that like... Is it just because people just go to things at the Greek the way that they go to things at the Hollywood Bowl? I they go to things at the Hollywood Bowl.

I think that's part of it. Yeah. It's just something that like, you know, whatever you hear about on the local public radio station and you buy tickets. Or like, you know, I mean, I think like Elvis Costello has had, you know, it's I said I had an interesting career and that like maybe started out as kind of a you know new wavy punk guy but then are you suggesting that these people at the concert were just big burt baccarat fans i think so i think that was part of it i think that like his late period you know collaborations with burt baccarat and you're like well i came to the work of elvis cost, primarily through the jazz vocals of his wife, Diana Krall. Yeah. I totally think that happens. And I think that his late career Americana

albums maybe kind of attracted some of these people who only listen to Bob Dylan and then a couple other things, but mostly want to talk about Bob Dylan. And I imagine there were a lot of people who had come there because they were big fans of The Roots. Sure, right, yes. I think we could all agree. I mean, that's everybody's favorite Elvis Costello album. They're all there and they're like,

wow, I hope this show is as much of a mixed bag generous of you to say mixed bag generous of you to say mixed bag um we wish them both all of course yes you know hey listen maybe we'll do a bad show someday we might and i hope i hope people treat us with as much grace as we treated those those those geniuses by the way next episode of jordan jesse go collaboration with carol king um it's gonna come out on third man records it's gonna be a little vinyl you can only get at their store. An exploration of the great American songbook.

I mean, is there a greater songbook? Name one. Name a fucking greater songbook. I mean, there's a lot of people who will speak up on behalf of the German American, the great German songbook. No-uh sorry not even close okay so i'm i'm i'm ready to enjoy this thing i'm enjoying all the driving crooners in the audience um they're not crooning but yeah you've seen the you've seen the sketch yeah um these are characters from i think you should leave yeah great show no funny um and you know and elvis hits the stage and it becomes what i suspect is going on within elvis costello is that he is sick and tired of his music and wants to

jam and interpolate and do wacko versions of his songs, which include new lyrics and sometimes change into other songs. And, and, and sometimes change into other songs, and they try as hard as they can to be unrecognizable. Meanwhile, the audience is just out there going, come on, Eileen, come on, Eileen. And then someone in the band yells, Samira, wrong artist, around the same time, yes.

I could see how you would make that mistake yes i think those guys are scottish yeah and i'm just sitting there going like shouldn't i be as a fan shouldn't i be appreciating this like i get to hear you know these new like i've heard i've heard i've songs, you know, more times than I can count. Shouldn't I be enjoying these, you know, free, explorative, innovative versions of these songs? Shouldn't I like seeing, you know, shouldn't I like seeing the artist at play? People watch, people listen to Elvis Costello to hear the solos. Yeah. I mean, it did feel like, I'm like, what is this fucking fish?

I don't want to be here for three hours. I hope this wraps up around 10. I didn't sign up for this, but here we are listening to a bass solo. I'll grant you, Black Thought is an incredible freestyler, but the greatest rapper of all time? That feels like a stretch. So I, you know, ultimately had a fun night, but like, I just walked out of there going, I wish he just played the songs like I wanted them. I wish I could sing along to them.

I just wish I could recognize them more than two minutes in. I'll tell you this, Jordan. Probably at the same time that you were at the Greek theater watching Elvis Costello, theater watching elvis costello i was at the um cryptocurrency arena oh yeah downtown los angeles uh watching my elvis costello erica badu oh my gosh how was that uh it just fucking ripped it was just so fucking awesome the whole thing just start scatting in the middle of her songs? I was so sure that they, like, I'm like, because, you know, probably the, it's probably different at the Greek for Elvis Costello. I know that for Erykah Badu, I had not left the house in years. And I just gave Erykah Badu all the money I had. Like you go to buy tickets

and they say, well, what have you got on you? Sure. You know what I mean? And then you just, they're like, well, you're going to have to add a few hundred to that. And so I had given all my money to see Erykah Badu. And so there was a lot riding on it and i had completely missed most deaf who opened because um of child care issues and so i'm like i'm i'm on my way there and i'm like this can only disappoint because you know what you think it's going to be? A fucking bunch of smooth jazz bullshit. Sure. Like, it's not like, even at the beginning, Erykah Badu was constantly challenging,

what if I was like some corny shit that you snapped to? You know what I mean? Like, she never was. I want to be clear. But she always had an eye on it, just in case, you know what i mean like she never was i want to be clear but she always had an eye on it just in case you know just at any moment she could turn into no offense to what appears to be a lovely woman with some great songs india re okay um but the shit was so fucking hard and the there's two things that i experienced in the erica badu concert one is just for a person who has

demonstrated a beautiful and extraordinary commitment to the art of wigs over the course of the last uh 25 years she really she really had it beat she had like she had braids down to her ankles that like part that she could like part and close like a like a beaded curtain you know what i mean like it like she was a like she was the adult section at a video store and a number of like layers of outfit that made her into like some kind of combination of like grace jones and george clinton beautiful but but with but also maybe like uh you know those kind of cows that have like curly hair on them sure like long curly hair yeah maybe like like the come on eileen band maybe they're scottish yeah exactly maybe a little bit of that like Like a lot of layers. Clothing with things hanging off of it.

But the main thing is, at one point, she said something about being 56 years old. And I was, again, having given all my money, I was relatively close to the stage. I was relatively close to the stage. And when she said she was 56 years old, just a surge of awe and horniness flowed through me that was absolutely uncontrollable. The fact that she was, and I'm not judging this, but I just want clarification. The fact that she was 56 made you more horny.

This is, okay, so I think it was sort of like- Again, not judging this. It was like- I just want to know if I'm reading this correctly. I was, okay. So obviously before she said anything, there was a lot of thigh being shown. Yep.

Erykah Badu has just the powerful physique of the doula that she is. This is a woman who knows some positions to stand in. You know what I mean? Yeah. She's got a very strong pelvic floor. Sure. This is all mesmerizing to me. Okay.

And obviously, beautiful woman in general. But the body was banging. And then I think just like it hadn't occurred to me that she was 15 years older than me. She always has been, but I wasn't thinking about it at the time. It was like seeing someone do an incredible feat of strength. Like she was so good at being 56 that her skill at 56ness made me horny. Right. Does that make sense? Yes, it does.

It was like, I was a god. Sure. And that led to significant horniness. I mean, I was also already pretty horny because of the- Childcare issues. sort of white hipster dude who was standing in front of me and to the right and just was there at the concert by himself and, uh, kept offering people his vape. And then, uh, at one point, this guy, definitely the odds that this guy at some point had a subscription to grand Royal magazine, the beastie boys magazine, a hundred percent. Um, and, uh uh he had that kind of vaguely like kevin bacon-y vibe

that you get from a nice that's a nice vibe but he was like a he was like a less handsome more dirtbag version of that sure uh but at one point he just yeah he's again by himself empty seat next to him uh he just goes we love you goddess beautiful and i was like you know what only other white guy in the vicinity we do love this goddess i am with you and then you took a fucking huge drag off the vape. Just ripped his vape. Yeah. He was so friendly to everyone.

Blasted the fattest cloud. It was so great. This weird guy. Loved him. Loved him. But yeah, fucking Erykah Badu. It was all killer, no filler. Just everything was hard as fuck. I think that's what you, you think you kind of hit on it for me.

It's like something that I had a hard time putting my finger on. It's like, and I, you know, and this conundrum, this like not really enjoying one of my favorite artists, like caused me to think a lot about, well, what am I looking for when I go to see live music? Like I, you know, it's something I love.

I go a lot. Like I, you know, what am I looking for? What am I doing? And I like, I think that is what I want. looking for what am i doing and i like i think i think that is what i want i think i just want the songs i like but a little harder yeah i just i just want it to be a little hard maybe a little faster a little louder a little more intense but you do you do yeah i think that that when i think about the like surprising live music experiences i've had i'm like oh yeah that was way harder than i thought it was gonna be erica badu also for me delivered something that

is really magical which is uh being horny for how funny someone is yeah because erica badu she doesn't it's not like she's telling stories on stage. She just has remarks. Like occasionally she'll just go, that kind of thing. And you're like, fuck, she's hella funny. Fucking Erykah Badu is so cool. Oh my God. How hard do you think this guest of ours is going to go?

Well, we'll find out, huh? He's the producer of this program and stand-up comic. He also went to college with us. Matt Lieb. Hi, Matt. Hey, alright. We're getting horned up here. I like that this is the episode that I'm guesting on is the one where you talk

about how horny you are. Finally, I'm addressing this finally it comes out i've been saying for years like this guy is horny and needs to let it out sure i mean yeah i mean jesse you do those amas and people always say how horny are you though there are no answers you're talking about your i answer all the other fucking desert island discs you're happy to do that sure about that i want to hear about your desert island dick man what's the what's the horniest concert that you've ever been to oh horniest concert um i mean future islands was pretty horny you guys uh you guys know future islands i saw this i saw this future islands uh yeah this

year i saw future islands this year yeah yeah so they have a lead singer they're from baltimore they're like uh i don't know music genres but they uh got kind of like an 80s feel to it um and uh the lead singer he just sings he's you know he's one of those bands where they just have a singer who sings. But he also kind of does these sexy dances, but working class sexy dances. He's not a good dancer, but he dances hard. It's the enthusiasm. Yeah, I knew this band from occasionally being played on our public radio station. Sure. And the viral video where they played on Letterman

and Letterman is blown away by them. Yes. That's how I found out about them. I guess it's the most, I guess it's like of the Letterman YouTube channel, it's the most viewed Letterman YouTube. So this band is like a sexy Baltimore Warren Zevon? Sure.

I mean, it's like of a regular it's like of a triple a catcher started a band uh like he he's got a face like an old-timey baseball player that's a great way to describe this guy i was trying to tell people about him when i saw it and i was like he looks like your dad's friend yes yes he's like a grown up no no no he's like his friend who's like a mechanic and knows how to steal cable and it's like he's he's really regular he's like just a regular guy and uh he he sings with all of his heart he growls sometimes which is you know abnormal for the type of kind of like new wave music that he's doing. And the music's great. And there's something about this guy that the whole audience is horned up for his enthusiasm.

It's pretty incredible. I mean, I was horned up. it's uh it's pretty incredible i i mean i was horned up i you know it's it is yeah i they they give off a surprising amount of horniness because like their their genre is like 80s inspired indie rock right which is not like it is a good kind of thing to listen to i don't think that like i don't i don't think that in general this sort of music makes anyone horny no but no the that performance and that enthusiasm you are absolutely right it like kicks it up a notch it's the only time i've ever seen a good live music performance on tv you know like tv in general you watch like a late night show and or like saturday night live and some band you know will be on and uh it's usually like i don't know

it's mid at best but this was like the first time it was like someone who knew he was on tv and he was like i'm gonna really fucking go for it and he did and it was great, I'm going to really fucking go for it. And he did. And it was great. And I got horny. Jordan, what's the horniest concert you've ever been to? You know, I don't know if this is the horniest, but I am reminded, as we're talking about this, of going to see TV on the radio. And I really, really like TV on the radio

and maybe would like describe their genre of music as like, you know, it's like it's like the rockier Radiohead songs. It's like maybe got a little more like of a groove to it. But like it is, you know, kind of like if radiohead had some black people in it you know if it was if radiohead wasn't just a the the most british band in the world it is like headphone dorm music i would call it yes and i went to see tv on the radio and it did that thing it went way fucking harder than i ever thought it could just listening to the records. And the amount of horniness coming from the audience was baffling. Like, this is like stony chill out. I'm, you know, stoned and trying to make a stir fry for the first time right like that's that's this but you gotta velvet you gotta velvet the meat yeah but when you like hearing it live and then going back and listening to the albums i'm like oh these are all fuck jams these are all fuck jams through the filter of like

you know post punk radiohead stuff but like these are absolutely at their core fuck jams and they absolutely rule um yeah boy ctv on the radio live if you ever get a chance boy howdy what a band yeah sounds like a good time. Yeah. It's a great time. And I don't mean to denigrate Radiohead, by the way. Radiohead is my favorite live act to see. Are there? Oh, they're so amazing.

What do they do? You see, that's the question. If you haven't seen Radiohead, you'd be like, it sounds boring. Right? It's the same shit. It's the same songs you love but fucking faster and harder it is though it's that and it's like it's seeing that uh a lot of you know the beep beep boop boops and the you know the all that stuff is done live with live instruments it's not all like uh there's

not like a guy at a dj booth you know making sound effects it's like there's a lot going on everyone's doing something weird and the music goes faster and harder and tom york and his like his scrunched up face a little weird eye and there's he's just like crooning and it's like in the sexiest way possible for i think for a british person because i mean listen for all your british listeners out there i think you will agree with me when i say that you know there's a lot of uh horniness in in british people that uh have you seen mr bean have you seen the bean it's a reason why they call it flicking the bean listen i understand it's not because the clitoris looks like a bean it's because mr bean no no but i mean listen i'm

i'm saying that british people are horny but it's like a pent-up type of horny you know it's uh it's a it's a island of people with a lot of with cum backed up in their bodies, and Tom York is able to express that in a way. By the way, go see us at the London Podcast Festival in September. Let us express you, England. Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm just saying that Radiohead is a very good band live. You got to check them out. If Radiohead is not touring, we can express you, England.

Very good band live. You got to check them out. If Radiohead is not touring, we can express you, England. My unsophisticated understanding of Radiohead, I was imagining what their big show is where they bring people on. You know what I mean? And what I thought of, and I'm not saying this as a joke, is in between Radiohead's like alternative rock radio stars and Radiohead's like gods of indie rock, period, in the sort of interregnum, there was this rapper named Chino XL who did a song that sampled Creep. And I just imagined them being like,

ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest tonight. Chino XL. They play the backup for him live. Ladies and gentlemen, the complicated similes of Chino XL. Uh, Matt,

in general, are you like a live music guy? Do you like have to see a band you like when they come to town? I used to be, man. I used to be. I used to be so cool. I used to go to concerts. You're cool now.

You're cool now. No, it's over, dude. I have a baby. You know. A lot of cool people with babies. Harry and Meghan. Nah, they're not cool anymore. That's a great point jordan who's cooler

than them well what about this your mom and dad they're very cool they told me on a regular basis my dad would tell me stories about how he used to be cool he would talk about the summer of 68 i wrote uh my uh bsa lightning uh crossed from New Jersey all the way to San Francisco. I worked at a topless bar. You know, your dad used to be pretty cool. Wait, is that a motorcycle? Yeah, I guess it's a motorcycle. It's just a member of the Boy Scouts of America.

He has a Boy Scouts of America Lightning. It is a bicycle. No, he had a motorcycle in the 60s. He was cool. Yeah, and then, you know, he had kids, and Reagan was president, and, you know, shit changed. Yeah. Fucking Reagan ruined it for everybody. We all used to be cool.

Yeah. Before the Gipper got in there. Yeah, but no, I used to go to concerts a lot. I used to, you know, I was an early Coachella adopter. I feel like I went to a lot of the early Coachellas. Kind of a Southern California rite of passage. I have still never been to a Coachella and enjoy watching all the, like, oh my God, can you fucking believe what went down at

coachella videos you know the beyonce netflix thing like obviously would i have loved to have been there for that yeah but like yeah you know uh yeah coachella has not has never sounded good to me yeah it was it used to be i used to be able to handle it because i was like you know i was young i was crazy. You guys remember me in college? We were all best friends. I was crazy, dog. How crazy are we talking? I mean, I know, but for the listeners, how crazy are we talking?

Well, I used to do a lot of drugs. And so Coachella, for me, was a fun place to go do drugs and rock out and listen to Radiohead. I saw Radiohead there. I saw a bunch of great bands there. And then the last time I went, it was like three, four years ago. And I did the car camping thing. There's a big campground where you can like, that's where you sleep. And every tent that was there, there like competing amateur dj booths oh no

where it was all these like kids who were just like oh i'm gonna be spinning from like two to four and i literally was like i would walk into their tent i'd be like guys we've been listening to music all day can we how about audio book? Put on an audio book. Yeah, put on a podcast. Put on a comedy bang bang or some shit. It was so annoying. A podcast DJ tent. Exactly.

Y'all ready for Marin? Lock the gates. But yeah, no, I found myself being too, uh, too old for it. Like, uh, I, I, I, I like, I aged out now. It's like, if I go, I gotta, I gotta have like a hotel. You know, when I was too old for that one, Matt fucking 17, I was too old to go to Coachella. The, uh, the prospect I'm with Jordan, uh, 10,000% except for that. I'm not even like, I think Beyonce is fucking great.

I don't even know if I would want to have been there for the greatest moments of the greatest. Like Prince, like Prince played Coachella at one point, didn't he? Like Prince is, you know, one of my five favorite musical artists of all time, probably. And like, I went and saw Prince. But the prospect of watching him at Coachella, the minute you say it's outdoors, there's no seats. Yeah. And God knows where you go to go to the bathroom.

Yeah. You go to the bathroom to go to the bathroom yeah the bat you go to the bathroom to go to the bathroom you can go but i mean like you know but but then you have to figure then you have to get back what do you do we will leave it what happens if the birds eat the trail of crumbs that you'll find your way back just don't just don't listen there's gonna be a gingerbread house it's gonna look great do not go into that gingerbread house you're gonna think that you see your grandma right that is not your grandma it's the coachella witch and she eats people who are too fucked up to know better don't go in there that's the high

nrg tent right you are not ready for this. Too high. The NRG is too high. I'm a low NRG guy, personally. I really feel like after a long period of not going to as many concerts as I would have liked, a long period where I was too busy making babies and so on and so forth to go to as many shows as I'd like. I've been to a few this year and I think I'm ready for a transformation in my entire lifestyle. And it was precipitated by shortly before the pandemic, my wife and I went to see Van Morrison

at the Wiltern Theater, beautiful Art Deco Theater here in Los Angeles. Hell yeah. And just completely full of 75-year-olds. We were comfortably- Quite a lot of driving crooners at that show, huh? Exclusively driving crooners. I guess Van Morrison, his look, you could maybe describe as driving crooner.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean- Anti-vax driving crooner. Van Morrison's not afraid to mix a little Dan Flashes in with his driving crooner, but yeah. He's pivoted, though, to like slick back hair, sloppy steaks at Cogino's level type of music. He going to that show where everyone sat down almost the entire time. Itty bitty jeans. Live from New Year's Eve.

And like, I want to stipulate here. This was before he, it was when we just knew him to be a standard asshole, not specifically a COVID asshole. Right. But he was fucking great. And I had a great time and i sat the whole time except for maybe right at the end now did he do wacko b-side jams of all his hits or did he play the hits in a recognizable way because he seems to me like the kind of guy and i don't know a ton about van morris and other than he's a recent anti-vax wacko, but my impression of Van Morrison

is that he would probably be one that would want to do a slide guitar jam in the middle of a song that doesn't have it normally. He plays his own horn solos. Okay. So that is something that happens. Just at various points, he just picks up a trumpet and plays a horn horn solos. Okay. So that is something that happens. Just at various points, he just picks up a trumpet and plays a horn solo.

Right. And there's certainly some driving crooning that happens. Sure. In the course of the show, there's a few, let's say, driving crooner interludes where he'll just sing a jazz standard yeah uh but fucking van morrison one of my favorite singers of all time

and so i'm glad to hear him sing a jazz standard and the the thing about it is is that even at 7 000 years grump which is van morrison's current age he knows how to fucking set him up and knock him down you know what i mean like the man anybody who's ever listened to it's too late to stop now knows that van morrison brings the heat in live performance even if he is a crazy asshole i don't know i i realize i i don't know much of his music at all i know when i am hearing him yeah when i'm like oh that's that guy who's he's uh that's van morrison but i don't know the songs like uh i i get him confused with counting crows he's the same guy right he's the guy from mr jones third eye blind yeah three doors down guy yeah i just know i know he does moon dance moon dance yeah there's a great

matt there's a great van morrison needle drop in the sopranos yeah you do a sopranos podcast that's right that's right. That's right. It's when like Tony is kind of like wandering home and has to like sneak into his own house. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah. I remember. And I remember it was a Van Morrison song, but I don't remember what it was.

I had it on a playlist for a while and listened to that playlist so often that the algorithm was like, ah, here's a Van Morrison fan. And then it started feeding me his new songs he's like it's like hey guess what van morrison fan here's some new van morrison songs i think one is genuinely called they control the media i think that is not i think it is something like one of the most amazing things about one of the most amazing things about van morrison i mean he has always been a cranky asshole sure like i don't i don't want to present him as anything other than kind of a shithead which he just always has been um but he at one point in order to get out of a recording contract recorded a double album of songs that

he made up on the spot um and you know like it's actually was recorded it's available you can listen to it and um there's like a song called ringworm uh it's just about how he thinks he might have ringworm this is a whole album i'm sorry of songs he made up on the spot like he's freestyling essentially yeah because he had to record a certain number of songs for his label well that's not that i could do that uh i have looked it up the van Van Morrison song I was thinking of that Apple Music fed to me is called They Own the Media. Who's they? Could be anybody. I don't, could be anybody.

Maybe it's about the Murdochs. It's probably the Murdochs. It's the Murdochs. I recommend instead that people check out the Van Morrison song Here Comes Dumb George. George was the name of the guy who owned the record company that was making him record the songs uh that's for here comes dumb george is the name of the song about how dumb he is weather machine blues oh my space laser and friend okay we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, a boy, a detective. Okay, so there's two important things that we want to tell everybody about. Yes. Number one, for people in Southern California, if even one of you misses Jordan's comic signing, I'm going to be sick. I'm literally going to go to the doctor and tell my doctor that I'm sick. We're going to start blowing chunks. We're not going to stop until they make another Wayne's World movie.

That's how long we're going to be blowing chunks if you miss my comic signing. Where can people see this comic signing, Jordan? Good question, Jesse. It's at The Great, The Wonderful, The Institution, Golden Apple Comics. It's on July 1st. That's a Saturday.

1 to 4 p.m. I'm going to be there. Sign in Archie Comics, Camp Pickens, a funny and spooky new horror anthology starring the gang from Riverdale. Jordan, let me interject here. Please. Obviously, if people don't live in Southern California,

they can't get this comic book. No, Jesse, here's the thing. You can get a copy at your local comic book store. Of Camp Pickens? Of Camp Pickens. If can get a copy at your local comic book store. Of Camp Pickens? Of Camp Pickens. If you want a signed copy, you can get it via the Golden Apple Comics website. But if you're in the Southern California area, yes, I'm including you, Carlsbad, you're going to want to come.

Golden Apple, July 1st, 1 to 4 p.m. Get one of these books. Don't make me look like a jerk in front of the guys, okay? If they're in Carlsbad, they already know about the legendary restaurant Tip Top Meats. Right. Sounds like they're going to get to know about a Tip Top Meat with their favorite podcaster. See? You're absolutely right.

That's exactly what I was getting at. We're also coming to London, England. Yes. Look, London, England, London Podcast Festival, Thursday, September 14th. I cannot emphasize enough the extent to which we are dependent on every single person in the entire continent of Europe and extracontinental Europeans, such as people in England, coming to this show. We need you. We can't wait to see you. We're so excited to be coming back to the London Podcast Festival.

We've done it a handful of times. It is always a blast. Yeah, and we want to keep coming back. So we need some butts in seats. We think it's going to be a great time. Are we going to email Rob Delaney? Yes. some butts in seats. Look, are we going to email Rob Delaney? Yes.

Is he probably too busy for us to invite him and then ride his coattails to ticket sales? Yes. Jesse, let's just tell him it's an episode of Black Mirror. He's already in one, but he tell him it's another one.

Let's tell him all it's an episode of Black Mirror. We can get everybody. Yeah. Come on. We can get everybody. Yeah. Come on. Bring in Bryce Dallas Howard to show up. God, I'd love to have Bryce Dallas Howard on the show. Anyway, listen, we're going to grab you some amazing guests.

Jordan, Jesse, go. London Podcast Festival, September 14th. Special guest Bryce Dallas Howard from Jurassic World. So hit us up at MaximumFun.org slash events. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Matt Lieb, Van Morrison, understander. Yeah, he's on it now. We discussed it briefly in the break. We found out what the song was from The Sopranos. And I learned who the they is in They Control the Media. And I said, whoa, this guy gets it. Oh, who? You're talking about me.

I guess you do kind of control this media. That's what I'm saying. I control this media. This piece of media, as the producer, you control it. Yeah. I mean, he's not wrong. I am literally in control. I can do whatever I want.

Whoa. See? I control it. You could make the show better? You're not the whole time. Okay, look. It's summertime, baby.

We're all dropping our tops, whether it's the top of our cars or the top of our itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot bikinis. I'm dumping them out over here i'm dumping them out hey i'm dumping out my jugs oh hey wiggle waggle watch where you're going you're gonna hit my jugs. Oh, hey, hands off the jugs. Hey, I got to go get a calzone from my jugs. I lost the cannoli between my giant jugs.

Oh, I can't decide whether to take the bridge or the tunnel. Matt, help us. Make the show better. Yes, and oh, God, I'll get one, guys. Control the media. Start controlling the media. No, but. There it is.

No, or. No, or. Okay, so it's summertime. We're celebrating the summer boy spirit, which is a deep abiding sense of summerness that pervades all creatures on this great green globe for these warm months. But that can be expressed in a pure or adulterated fashion. We're asking for your purest summer boy moments. or adulterated fashion. We're asking for your purest summer boy moments.

This one, Matthew, from what I've been led to believe, is both a summer boy call and a momentous occasion. That's right. That's right. It is a momentous summer boy occasion. And here it is. Hey, Jordan, Jesse Goh. It's Celeste. Theyeste they them crawling with a summer

boy momentous occasion i got purposely sterilized a tubal ligation and now i can raw dog all summer long all right have a good one love you bye first of all celeste, really happy to hear this for you. Beautiful. I feel like this is incredible to me because it had not occurred to me to this point. I mean, when did you first go to that wedding in Baltimore that led to Jordan? I mean, obviously, very horny city, Baltimore. Sure, yeah.

Future Islands from there. Oh, yeah. There you Baltimore. Sure. Yeah, future islands from there. Oh yeah, there you go. Sure. What was that? Five years ago, six years ago? The couple I was going to the wedding of now has two kids. The couple I was going to the wedding of hate condoms. They hate it.

Can't stand them. But I think five, six years have passed. it never once occurred to me how beautiful an expression of the summer boy spirit raw docking is yeah yes and i mean like i want to emphasize it's it's like skinny dipping but fucking it is this is so incredible and like obviously i want this to be responsible everybody get tested absolutely right um everybody make informed choices about uh hey nothing family planning sure nothing you know nothing will kill a summer like the clap that's what they always say.

Richard Nixon taught us that. When I was in the Navy. The first thing they said to me. Clap it to me. He said that on TV. He did. He said it on laughing. On laughing.

But I do think, I do really think that skin to skin is so central to what being a summer boy is all about. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Hot, sweaty, skin on skin action. I also think tying your tubes very summer boy. That's endless summer action, you know?

Sure. Because summer forever. What are the tubes but the pool noodles inside us all? It's a really good point. Thank you, Joyce. That's an excellent point. I said something good. I'd love to be raw-dogging right now, guys.

All right. Hold on. All right. Save it for the Future Islands concert, Bob. Feel free, dude. I'll just watch. Yeah. No, you know what the thing is about being a a dad is um

first of all it's made from raw dogging so that's one congratulations on that but on the other my sweet summer child the other side of it is um we are we are no longer um raw dogging it anymore i have to go buy condoms again because you know she's like i don't know about another baby at least right now sure and so like to having to go back is just like oh man matt imagine this let me put let me put this before you sure imagine not going back but rather going to for the first time going because your friend jesse had that experience what do you mean let's just say that you and your wife had been together since you were 17 and that uh your wife had a progressive family and a helpful doctor as a teen. Gotcha.

Let's say you'd been monogamous that entire time. Yeah, yeah. And let's say that you'd made a lot of responsible choices along the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is really hot, by the way this is still horny i didn't know this but there's a commercial break and i'm still horny matt can you license us an erica badu song to play around with this absolutely i will email her website let's say then erica at erica badu.com me at ericabadu.com. Me at ericabadu.com.

That should get you really quick. Let's say then that babies were introduced into your life in a period of time when birth control pills were not an appropriate choice for your lifestyle. That's right. And you had to go to the drugstore to purchase condoms for the first time in your life. Oh, my gosh. That's crazy. At 53 years old? Yeah.

At 56 years old. Oh, my gosh. Wow. An 80-year-old man. Yeah. Jimmy's. That is crazy. So what was that like?

I assume we're talking about you. It's horrible i mean like let me just say to all the young people out there listening you know get get your gym hats yeah and you know always wear a raincoat yeah safe sex is great sex that's right um the responsibility for birth control is on the man not the woman um uh or it's on everyone involved or whatever uh don't right don't do drugs um just say no the whole nine yards right uh but yeah it was a real letdown yeah i mean it's not like it's not good i mean it's gooder than it's gooder than not having sex that's for sure yeah oh yeah i completely agree that it's more gooder than that but yeah it is it's um i mean i guess if it's your was there was no novelty for you?

It was like your first time? You didn't get horned up buying the package? Yeah, I was kind of forbidden about it. Did you go and buy a ton of other stuff from the pharmacy because you didn't want them to know that you were buying condoms? They're like one-box condoms, and jeez, I didn't even know there were this many kinds of corn nuts sure four copies of guns and ammo condoms lube and why he bought all of the coloring

books that's fucking everything off the spinning rack of i think bible word searches what are these how did he know where to find all the bosh series just squirreled away in our greetings oh yeah yeah something easter candy it's september yeah it is it's a real it's a real crushing blow i mean look all novelty is novel that's so true god but this is some of the worst novelty this is absolutely some of the worst novelty uh matt do you have any summer boy shit planned for the summer or have you done any summer boy shit so far this year it's a it's a great question um nothing the thing is is like we have a uh eight month old baby yeah so um so summer right now just means it's hot that's what it means for me and i like i have in you know my heart of hearts i want to do summer stuff so bad i want to go to

the beach yeah um i want a raw dog uh pool noodles all that stuff but i uh i just don't know when i'll be able to to do it because i have this goddamn baby you know what try raw dogging a pool noodle and report back hell yeah don't think i won't do it the conviction in the man's eyes the combination of conviction and resignation yeah driving a pool noodle across state lines to get an abortion? In that situation, I'm seeing you in the car. And you're in another state that's not California. Don't try and make sense of what I said. Matt's always been known as a real driving crooner.

Yeah, right. Try and make it look fake jj go at maximum fun.org or 206-984-4 fun that's uh 206-984-4 fun or jj go at maximum fun.org we'll be back in just a second on jordan jessica oh, hi, it's me, Dave Holmes, host of the pop culture game show Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play a whole host of games, like one where I describe a show using a limerick and our guests have to figure out what it is.

Let's do one right now. What show am I talking about? This podcast has game after game and brilliant guests who come play him. The host is named Dave. It could be your fave, so try it. Life won't be the same. Uh, Big Business starring Bette Midler

and Lily Tomlin. Close, but no. Oh, is it Troubled Waters, the pop culture quiz show with all your favorite comedians? Yes! Troubled Waters is the answer. To this question and all of my life's problems. Now, legally, we actually can't guarantee that, but you can find it on MaximumFun.org

or wherever you get your podcasts. Jay Keith, do you know what I love more than the trivia, comedy, and celebrity guests on our podcast, Go Fact Yourself? No, what, Helen? Sharing all of those things with an actual audience a live audience well lucky for you listeners go fact yourself has brand new episodes featuring live audiences cheering on guests every month and we still have all of our zoom episodes with contestants and experts from around the world we can truly have it all yay you can hear it all twice a month, every month, on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Yeah, no excuses.

So if you're not listening... You can go fact yourself. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Matt Lieb, guy who learned about Elvis Costello through Austin Powers 1. I mean, better than learning about it from Austin Powers 3. That's true.

Or his collaboration with The Roots. Wow, a new Roots album? Not quite. Yeah. Wow. A new roots album? Not quite. Almost. You know, across America, across America, that album divided music fans. Did the roots ruin Elvis Costello

or did Elvis Costello ruin the roots? Who ruined who? Jimmy Fallon ruined the roots. Yeah, this is all Jimmy Fallon's fault. This is Jimmy's fault. You have a chance to blame him, blame him. We alluded to this. So you are, of course, the producer of Jordan, Jesse, Co.

That's right. You are also a successful podcaster, arguably more successful than we. It's not true, but I will take it. Yes, I do a TV rewatch podcast called Pod Yourself a Gun, which is a Sopranos podcast, and it is now a The Wire podcast. Yeah. So we go at the same time. Should I watch The Sopranos?

Because I've never watched The Sopranos. You haven't, but you were doing such a great Italian guy. I figured, like, this guy's an expert. Yeah, we just assumed that was your- Of course, that was the famous sopranos character yeah joey walnuts that's it's paulie but it's fine dude joey's the other guy joey walnuts joey chestnut paulie ate a lot of hot dogs do you remember when the entire like media landscape was guys from the Sopranos that weren't Tony Soprano yeah yeah it would just be like it would just be like hey uh are you looking for Geico car insurance it's us

the glutes from the Sopranos. Hey, buy this Big Mac or maybe I don't know something happened to you. And you're just like, I don't know why these guys need to sell all these things. But also, I was happy to see them all get work. Yeah, because they're just getting scale on the Sopranos. You know what I mean? What are they going to do? Go threaten to start a different show about that? I threatened to start a different show about that.

It is like, like it does, and you know, it's very clear when you watch this show, it does, when you watch The Sopranos like now, is that it has a very like, kind of like arch acting style. And I think that like part of that is because like, oh, a lot of these guys were like non-actors, were just like wackos who they found in new jersey who acted weird yeah like put them in a couple of scenes and then in season six those guys get character arcs you know like it is it is yeah it's a weird thing about the sopranos that i like like but i think that think that if you were just watching it now in this year that we're in, it's like, why is this part so weird? To be fair, one of those guys they found in the E Street Band.

That's true. Yeah, one of these guys was from Bruce Springsteen's band. Some were easier to find than others. But yeah, no, there was a lot of people who clearly were not acting. I mean, they're acting in that their name's not really Vito. Right. But they were just, you know, they were just New Jersey Italian guys. Galoot, yeah.

Yeah, and I liked it. I feel like I need to amend something because I made a joke that I feel like was dismissive earlier, which was these different guys who played different guys that weren't Tony Soprano on The Sopranos. I suggested they wouldn't have the opportunity to find other work in television. Obviously, little Stevie Van Zandt proved us wrong when he played that guy, but in norway yeah that's right wait hold on in norway yeah yeah he did the he did lily hammer hold on i haven't seen it but uh you know i at some point in my life i will run out of everything on netflix yeah yeah and then i'm ready for it i'll check it out i think i think matt that once you're done with the wire next up lillihammer right rewatch podcast yeah because you're doing you know i think people would like you could probably argue about the placement of those shows

sure but like probably most people would say those are that's the one and two greatest TV show of all time maybe you could switch them but I think most TV people would say one and two Lillehammer's three Lillehammer I mean it's both it's The Wire and Sopranos at the same

time it's both you know what it is it's Tulsa King. You know? It's a fourth-grader show. It's a Tulsa King. Yeah. And, you know, but with, like, a better guitar player than Sylvester Stallone.

Well, for me, guys, for me, number five. And I know we're not just making our top five lists, but the first four are so obvious that I feel like we got to list our number fives. For me, number five has got to be Magnum PI, the new Magnum PI. Right, yeah. Yeah, they got a new PI, new Magnum? Yeah, it's the fifth greatest television show of all time. I got to check it out. And the original Magnum PI is like 20, 25.

Yeah, I mean, it's fine. It's good. It's fine. It's is like 20, 25. It's fine. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fun. It's fun. Hey, Matt, in addition to being a TV podcaster, you're also a stand-up comic, a very funny stand-up comic.

That's right. Got any gigs coming up people should buy ticks too i uh no i i do but not until october and i feel like that is so far away i mean where are you gonna be where are you gonna be in october in october uh i'm gonna be uh headlining at the san francisco punchline but uh people people listen to the show love to go out of the punchline. People listening to the show love to go out to the punchline. I would love to have them, but it's so far in advance that tickets are not on sale.

They're going to mark their calendars. All of October. They're going to go to the punch. And they're going to see me and my wife. Boy, it's my wife. We are both. So we're co-headlining.

But that still counts. Like realistically. I mean, you know. She's headlining. Well, we're both headlining. You know what? In my opinion, the baby is headlining. That's right.

That's right. The baby's going to do a guest set. Hot five. Teaching her some good jokes. That's right. That's right. The baby's gonna do a guest set, Hot 5, teaching her some good jokes. She loves jokes. She likes when stuffed animal falls on her face. That's her favorite joke.

Solid joke. But yeah, no, keep an ear out, eye out for updates on that. And tickets will be on sale at some point i'm also going up to san francisco like literally tomorrow to do some shows but by the time this comes out and i just like uh i figure you got to save your promo for what the really

important stuff you know you got it no yeah you got to focus that promo you can't just list fucking funny things people don't know what to do a question for you guys before we get out of here yeah how how am i doing you guys uh you am i doing a good job you guys like you're doing terrific you're so you're such a you're such a you've got such a wonderful personality um fucking banging bod yeah i work on it no you're doing you're doing terrific the show shows running smooth. We're booking great guests, including Matt Lieb. You were able to book that guy.

Yeah. I got me. Let me tell you this. Not only are you doing a great job. Yeah. I believe in you so much. I, in advance of your big shows at the punchline.

Yeah. I'm going to send an email to Sarah and Vinny over there at Alice FM and see if they can get you on the Sarah and Vinny show. Wow. That's the kind of connections that I have in the San Francisco media landscape. I worked there for three weeks. I couldn't get up that early in the morning. It was miserable. It's way too early to go.

Way too early in the morning. It was miserable. It's way too early to go. Way too early in the morning. Yeah. But, you know, sometimes I'd see Kevin Avery and W. Kumail Bell there. You know? Yeah. It was nice. I'm not going to put in a good word with them. But Sarah and Vinny from Alice FM, yeah, sure.

I want to get on Alice FM so bad, you know? Yeah. If you can get me on terrestrial radio, that's the dream. I will literally do this podcast for free. Wow, okay. You mean guest on this podcast? You're not getting paid extra to guest on this podcast. What?

Part of your duties. The whole point was so that I could get on Alice FM. It's because someone canceled at the last minute. Who do you think it was, listener? Let us know in the comments. Let us know. Hey, if we're doing some focused plugging,

can I use just one more focus? Please. This is the last time I'll bug people about this. This coming Saturday, July 1st, I'll be signing my new Archie Horror Anthology, Camp Pickens, at Golden Apple Comics here in LA, 1 to 4 p.m. Come on out or I'll look like a fucking jerk. They put up a Facebook invite for this thing.

Three people said yes to this. Okay, listen, I need more than three people to come out to Golden Apple or I'm going to look like a goddamn jerk. At the end of the day, Jordan. Yeah. a golden apple or i'm gonna look like a goddamn jerk at the end of the day jordan yeah think about how cheap it is to essentially go on a date with you here yeah like we're really talking i mean it's a public supervised sure yeah absolutely but what can what does a comic cost six dollars jesse 399 cover price okay this is a in single issues this isn't a graphic novel this

is a single issue of comics so four dollars yeah very cool four dollars to golden apple slab it up you basically have been on a date with jordan morris yeah what you can you can you can eat out on that story for the rest of your fucking life. You can eat Jordan now. You can eat me out. You can eat cheating out on that story. Yeah. Eating out ain't cheating out. That's right.

And if you live in England and you haven't already bought your tickets to Jordan Jesse Go at the London Podcast Festival, Jesus fucking Christ. Come on. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, we're going to England for you. tickets to jordan jesse go at the london podcast festival jesus fucking christ come on i mean jesus fucking christ we're going to england for you you don't show up in england there's only eight of you in england sure if one doesn't show up that's a 12 point something percent all or nothing all 80 you have to show up you gotta go to england guy they're already in england i assume you're talking to the you don't want anyone to fly from america what's our day well i want harry and megan to fly out knock on wood harry megan call us september 14th right

september 14th london podcast festival get those ticks don't make us look like jerks in front of england you already made me look like a jerk in front of golden apple comics jesus christ what if the what you know england has a new king what oh yeah what if he the venue is king's place what if the king comes to the show i can get him as a guest i'll email the king at king.com me at king.com. Co.uk. I'm sorry. Yeah. King doesn't have a.com website. Okay. Yeah.

Matt Liebs, our producer on the program. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You can find us on various social media platforms. And yeah, fuck it. You know, that's about enough. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.