Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Yesterday's McFlurry, with Tre'vell Anderson

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

This week, podcaster and author of the new book We See Each Other: A Black, Trans Journey Through TV and Film (available for purchase right now) Tre'vell Anderson joins Jordan and Jesse to talk McFlurrys vs Blizzards and much more! Pre-order Jordan's upcoming Archie Horror comic "Camp Pickens" at your local comic shop NOW with code APR231183! On shelves 6/21! Get your signed copy at Golden Apple Comics.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. Welcome to Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy. Detective. Oh, Jordan. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. You've been doing a lot of swimming these past few years. It's true.

And it's really expanded the palette of weirdos in your life. Sure. To both land weirdos and aquatic weirdos. Sure, the weirdos of the sea. Yeah, sure. I guess they're amphibious weirdos. I guess I don't know any weirdos who are exclusive to the water. Anyway, they're kind of platypuses.

I mean, cuttlefish. I don't know any cuttlefish. But they sound great. I'm just saying, they're fucking super weird. Yeah, you said it, man. And as far as I know, they can't breathe air. If they can breathe air, we're fucked. Yeah. So they're going to know, they can't breathe air. If they can breathe air, we're fucked. Yeah.

So they're going to get up here, start switching colors. As soon as one of those things crawls up on land, I'm biting down on the cyanide pill. Making themselves look like rocks. It's over. I don't need that. I don't need that. I don't need to see what comes after. What's going on in the aquatic center, Jordan?

Thank you for asking. So this is, I have an update to a story that I told at one of our recent live shows. We've been doing some intimate live shows here at the Rock Rose Art Gallery. I think folks who- They're not purely sexual, but- They're sensual. They're not insubstantially sexual. You know, if you want to get fingered during the show, just don't make a big thing of it.

We're not going to narc on you. Yeah, but don't do a whole thing. Don't do a whole thing. And check in first. When you're taking your seat, check in with those around you. Are you cool if we finger a little? Sure. And they probably will be.

They probably will be, but respect their wishes because they've paid to be there at the show as well. Exactly. So I have an update. So I think folks who weren't there are going to get to hear this in the bonus feed if they are MaxFun members. But I have a significant update,

and I'll give you a little CliffsNotes version of what I talked about there so you can understand the update. members. But I have a significant update, and I'll give you a little CliffsNotes version of what I talked about there so you can understand the update. We talk on this show a lot about the pros and cons of engaging with randos. We're talking rideshare drivers, man at the diner, man at the library. These could lead to some fascinating conversations, but then you could also get trapped in a kind of insanity whirlpool that is hard to escape from. They might bring out a copy of The Purpose Driven Life and really get to talking. Sure. Or whatever their self-published version of The Purpose Driven Life is.

It has a very shiny cover. purpose-driven life is. It has a very shiny cover. Yeah, so I usually do not engage. Jesse, you engage a little bit more often than I do. I'll be curious to hear what our guest thinks about this matter. But I see, when I go to my pool, a kind of worst-case scenario version of this.

There is a man who swims at my public pool. I do not know his name, but his vibe I could only describe as Santa. This is a Santa looking man. Like if Santa were a cuttlefish? No, I don't think he can change color in order to escape predators. I think this guy's just the one color. And he's not flat at all?

Not flat. Very round. Weirdly flat. Around. Almost too flat. No, uh-uh. This is a three-dimensional man. And so every time I come to the pool, he is swimming in the lane closest to the lifeguard.

And what he does is he treads water in front of the lifeguard and what he does is he he treads water like in front of the lifeguard tower and every time i come in he is just yelling something at the lifeguard he is in like mid rant here are two things that i've walked in on one i'm i'm coming in he's treading water looking up at this lifeguard who's a teen by by the way? These are teens. And he's yelling, well, that's how China and North Korea are going to get us. So that's one. Two days later, I come in. He had been discussing weaponry.

I guess. Maybe computer viruses. I don't know. I don't pay attention to the news. Could be. So that's day one. Later that week, I come in. He's doing his same thing.

He's treading water, yelling up at the teen. That's why I don't like pizza. It's too hot. It's too hot. I guess he doesn't understand that you could let it cool down. No. He sees a pizza. He's got to run for shelter.

He's got to run for shade. Chomps him. Too hot. So, you know, and this to me is kind of a, you know, a kind of a fable, if you will, a warning against engaging with the randos in your world because you're going to get a monologue about North Korea. You're going to get a monologue about north korea you're going to get out an opinion about how pizza is too hot a lot of asap's greatest tales take place at the verdugo aquatic center yes asap one of the best uh uh so i am i am i am walking up to the pool

uh a few days ago and coming out i have never seen this man out of the water coming into the parking lot as i am coming into the parking lot as i am going into the center is santa santa is fucking huge santa is massive the the i i would describe his physique as viking okay like so when you say huge yeah what i don't want to be gross here what of his body is huge just a huge one of him what of him is huge maybe it's his personality that certainly but also just just big man. Like, you know, remember the wild people from Game of Thrones? Yeah, sure. He's like a guy.

He's one of those guys who has two lines. You know, one of those Game of Thrones guys is the spokesperson for Scott's brand lawn care products. Didn't know that. It's one of two advertisements that runs during the streaming version of a baseball game right and um it is a horrible nightmare because the premise of the advertisement is scott for scotts and scott is a scott scott the scott for scotts but if you have never heard a Dane try and do a Scottish accent while speaking English. Yeah. Oh, boy, it is.

I'm like, the first few times I saw it, I didn't remember that he was the guy from Game of Thrones. Mm-hmm. I'm like, what? Do they have like a person having a stroke dubbing over the sound over the, like it was so bananas. And then I was like, that's the Game of Thrones. That's the fucking Game of Thrones guy. I looked it up. It's the Game of Thrones guy.

He's Danish and he should not be asked to do a Scottish accent. That's all I have to say about Scott from Scots. It's a fucking nightmare. They just have a Scottish person do the voice. Commercials, the mouth never matches the words anyway. Then you won't remind people

of a TV show that famously didn't stick the landing. Yeah, exactly. Now, Scott's lawn care products always stick the landing. You're never going to have to deal with dandelions or dry patches.

Right, or rushed character arcs. always stick the landing you're never gonna have to deal with dandelions or or dry patches right or or rushed character arcs just dramatic changes in the pace of storytelling um they had to get out of there and make a star wars movie yeah um so so i'm coming out and I am carrying my car trash. I am carrying a bottle of water and an apple core. Is he tall? Yes. So this guy is like... Seven feet if he's a day.

Is he AG-esque? Yes. Yeah. No, that's a great way to describe him. Yeah. Our friend Steve AG. Yeah. Our friend Steve...

Well, Steve AG maybe is jacked. We've never seen him with his shirt off. You're right. Steve, come on over. Take off your shirt. Let's take a look. Steve Agee, post shirtless pictures on Maine. So I'm carrying this car trash, and he's looking at me.

He is making eye contact with me. And this is strange because I've never talked to this guy, but I have thought about him a lot. Right. So it is like I've kind of manifested this, you know? Do you think it's possible that you were making eye contact with him? No. I saw him come out and immediately, like, shame looked at my phone.

Okay. I knew who knew who because he you know and then he did one of those where he turned his he turned his head sideways and then brought it in right between your face and your phone marvel snap yes raised his raised his eyebrows so he's looking at me and as soon as we get close enough, he points directly at me. He points directly at me. I'm carrying my car trash. And he just yells, you eating before you go in, huh? What?

Did I create that? I guess he was doing the, like, you shouldn't eat before you go in the pool thing, and he saw the apple core. I remember you from All About Steve! Yeah, maybe he's a fan. Maybe he's a fan of Sandra Bullock movies that meant well but turned out to be kind of a fiasco.

I watched Action Sports Cable! Yeah. It was so weird. movies that meant well but turned out to be kind of a fiasco i watched action sports cable yeah i it was so weird i didn't know what to say i just looked away and walked in it did feel like my brain had created the moment you didn't even engage you didn't even say thank you no nothing i just looked away and ran in i was kind of scared. You didn't give a salute? And there was an element of two of like, dad's mad. Dad is mad because I'm swimming. I'm swimming with recent food in my tummy. Felt like he was going to, you know, lay into me about majoring in theater or something next. Terrifying. This Santa.

You didn't even give an ICU nod? No, I should have. Did you look over your shoulder and pretend like you thought he was talking to someone else? Jesse, I have improv training and I couldn't bring myself to respond to this man. Yes, and I'll be eating some more before I jump in. Yes, and

my pockets are full of nuts. Yes, and my pockets are full of nuts, father. See, I give him some information about himself. He knows. Yeah. Anyway, no presents for me this Christmas.

No fucking presents for me. God damn it. Another present this Christmas. Now he knows he's your father? Mm-hmm. And that mighty trees will grow from your pockets after you go swimming. That's true. That's true.

That's true. That's what nuts are, right? Seeds? Yeah. Nuts are seeds. Nuts are seeds. The Jordan Jesse Go story. Sure.

What is a nut but a seed that has yet to take root? Let's introduce our guest because they have been pre-gaming this show they've been eaten before right before they go in yeah and we need to they don't give a address give a shit about cramping up we need to address this situation that has arisen uh they are one of the hosts of maximum funds Fun's award-winning podcast, Fanti. They are also the author of a brand new book called We See Each Other, A Black Trans Journey Through TV and Film. Treyville Anderson. Hi, Trey. How are you? Hello, hello, hello. I am doing all right. How are y'all?

Pretty good. I was excited to see the distinctive spoon of a blended ice cream treat as we prepared this. A blended ice cream treat, that which lives between ice cream and milkshake requires a spoon. However, it requires a particular spoon. One that also pretends to be a straw. Yeah, what the fuck is up with that? You can't drink it through the spoon, can you? You can't. You cannot.

It's a McFlurry. We should say we're talking about a McFlurry. Oh, yes. An Oreo McFlurry to be exact. Thank you. From yesterday, if that matters this is the central besides the spoon thing

which obviously we need to address we can't I mean you know we can't leave that lying you know it's like it's like having a town hall with Trump and not bringing up the results of the court case.

Well. We have to address the spoon, obviously. However, I think we also need to engage with the question of this being yesterday's blizzard. Yeah. Let's start with the spoon. Mm-hmm. Have you ever used one of those spoons for anything other than spooning absolutely not because what else it it doesn't have any other use it is hollow right it's hollow

yes um up until the the actual scoop part if i'm not mistaken the machine that they use goes like into the spoon and uses the spoon to stir it and so there is a purpose for it just not for the consumer we're getting a nodding confirmation from matt leap producer matt leap if he also picks up a couple of shifts at mcdonald's what's it was driving me crazy i was like come. You guys have to know this. You have to know. You've seen the McFlur. That's how they do it. I'm more of a Blizzard guy.

Shout out to a Blizzard. We love a Dairy Queen over here. Shout out Blizzard. Big up to Twisters. I don't really fuck with McFlurries. Sorry. Sorry, gang. That's all right.

It's just reality. Okay. So the machine goes into the spoon because my other theory was that the spoon has that weird square so the spoon in question has like a square straw like shaft but yes but square in shape and uh or you know And, or, you know, Rick, you know, what's a long square called? A hexagon. Rhombus?

Yeah, rhombus. Shit, I don't know. This isn't a geometry podcast. This is a seed podcast. Seeds and agriculture. But my working theory before, Trayvall, you and Matt Lieb described this fucking horrific sounding piece of machinery

that feeds your food through a straw spoon or something. I assumed it was for structural integrity. If it's not a straw, maybe it's like a straw, maybe it's like some McDonald's guy's version of when you use the toothpicks to protect the egg that you dropped off the ceiling in physics class. Right. I guess, yeah, I was kind of with you, Jesse. I assumed the unusual shape and girth is just because the McFlurry is such a thick treat. Right.

And maybe, you know, a normal spoon can't handle it. So the girth has to do with the thickness. Yeah, the girth is directly proportional to the thickness. My God today. And yeah, I just assumed that, you know, a lesser spoon couldn't couldn't take such thickness. And, you know, that you just needed a hardier tool. There's some truth to that, you know. Yeah.

I'll just say I've attempted to use a Dollar Tree spoon. OK. On a McFlurry. Very difficult. I believe just for the record. How I want to know how how they how they keep i guess you know this is one of those things that i you know these fast food ice cream treats i like some more than others but even when i've got an okay one i will just finish it you know no self-control

we've addressed on this program the fact that it is genuinely distressing that there are sizes of these treats other than small sure given that the small is a pound of ice cream right and candy there's like 2 000 calories in one small size and people are going in there like, you know what? I'll get the medium. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

How do you how does it keep how does it keep till the next day? Not great. But for your honesty, you know, it did what it needed to do. Nonetheless, you know, you know, like when you like when ice cream melts and you try to refreeze it and it's like crystallized or whatever it's it's giving that energy um so but i i also mixed in it um swiss miss you know the little hot chocolate powder okay um with the uh with the marshmallows so you know that kind of you know reinvigorated it okay so that's a good hack treyville you're telling us you you you hit the golden arches

i call it mickey d's you got yourself you got yourself uh a mcflurry you watch some kind of diabolical steel man beast manipulate your spoon in order yeah to twist jesse you've you've seen you've seen wild wild west right sure this is like the mechanical steampunk spider that Will Smith fights at the end of Wild Wild West. That's what makes a McFlurry. Got it. Side note, by the way, I was in a rideshare vehicle in Mexico City the other day, and Wild Wild West came on the, no, not Wild Wild West, Men in Black came on the radio. You know, the Will Smith song, Men in Black.

Will Smith's other rap about the plot of the movie that plays over the credits. Obviously, when that movie came out, I was like 15 or whatever. I don't remember how old I was, something like that. And obviously, I was way too cool to like the song men in black by Will Smith. He didn't even swear. Um, but I listened with fresh ears, not having heard the song in 10 years.

And you know what? I enjoyed it. I thought Will Smith really did his thing. He's, you know, I remembered, Oh yeah. Will Smith is a, thing. He's, you know, I remembered. Oh yeah. Will Smith is a, is a light and charming rapper.

Will Smith has, he traipses trippingly off the tongue. The rhymes of Will Smith. That's why they call him the bard. Okay. So Trayvon, you had put your McFlurry into the freezer after consuming what? Roughly half? About half, yes. Okay.

You pulled it out of the freezer. And first of all, your freezer is at the wrong temperature relative to the soft serve machine at McDonald's. Well, I wouldn't say wrong. Just a different temperature. That's a little judgy, Jesse. No, you're so uptight. I'm here for nothing if not to judge this McFlurry.

Wow. So you're okay with fingering in the audience, but not freezers that are at slightly different temperatures. I'm okay with fingering in the audience. Again, if you get the go ahead from those around you with consent absolutely so so you

had half a McFlurry it was too hard right that was the problem right too hard too soft too hard too hard yeah it was soft yeah it was too hard and too hard too thick that was uh ralph nader's other book too hard too thick out of control documentary is that a book

first it was unsafe at any speed is that what we're talking about oh i'm thinking of fast cheap and out of control oh okay fast cheap and out of Control. Oh, okay. Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control. That's the Errol Morris documentary. Okay, okay. Fucking one of my favorite movies of all time. But you know what? Unsafe at Any Speed? One of my favorite books about the necessity for seatbelts.

Yes, exactly. Of all time. I'm glad we figured out what I was talking about. Yeah. Like, there's just a world where that was nonsense. I'm glad we followed the thread. Anyway. This whole show, I've been talking about Vernon, Florida.

Errol Morris movie. Okay, so... Great group Halloween costume. If anybody wants to go, it's every character from Vernon, Florida this year. Oh, man, that would be amazing. What is it that he calls those turtles? Like some tortoises that he calls something amazing. No, he calls them like dogs or something like that.

Yes, skeeters. I can't remember what it is. Anyway, Vernon, Florida. If anyone wants to do Vernon, Florida or Riverdale. No. I'm down for either a lot of fun um Travelle so it was too hard you took it out

I'm gonna be Jughead nobody else can be Jughead well that's like the whole point of fine then I'll be my idea so I can be Jughead I'm gonna be Mort that's that's the bazooka Joe group costume yeah I'm in a different fucking

group from you i'm out of your group so i'm gonna be more my group sees you're gonna be we're gonna throw down and treyvel you're gonna be a third character from bazooka joe that i can't name um what were we talking about we were talking about this mcflurry so did you rest it before you consumed it or did you yeah i sat it out on the stove not the stove was not on um that would be amazing i would have been 100 back on board if part of this was lighting it on fire throw a little cooking sherry on top a little razzle

dazzle you don't ever have your McFlurries on flambe like sizzling fajitas who doesn't get hungry when those sizzling fajitas come to the table okay so you rested it on top of the stone. I rested it for, you know, 45 seconds.

And then I was being impatient and just started, you know, hacking away. Yeah. 45 seconds. What you're telling us is you failed. You failed to rest it. You didn't rest it for 45 seconds. You tried to rest it for a reasonable't rest it for 45 seconds. You tried to rest it for a reasonable amount of time and failed

completely. Well, 45 seconds is not reasonable to you. Okay. Point granted. I take it back. Also, you know, it's like, you know, if you introduce some kinetic energy

into the thingamajiggy, you know, it'll start getting moving. So I just wanted to speed it up a little. It's founded on the principle of a, you know, flurry-like motion. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Physics. That's what it is.

Let's get back to the principles on which our McFlurries were founded. Energy just changes, Jesse. It doesn't go away. It just changes. Thank you, Jordan. I feel your vibrations. Thank you. So, Travelle.

Much like the wind, relationships. Did you always plan to introduce new fixings, or was that an improvisatory situation? Oh, it was very improvisational. I did not really have dinner. I had a fried chicken thigh leftover from my Roscoe's chicken and waffles, which I got for breakfast this morning. So I had the chicken, but I was like, I'm still hungry, but we have a recording to do. And so I said, I got a nibble on something and so i went into my freezer looking to see if i had a pizza roll and i did not but i did have a mcflurry from yesterday i'm worried that you're gonna end up with scurvy or gout or something

at this point in your description okay thank you okay. I eat vegetables every now and again. You know, non-processed items. This got me, that back and forth got me thinking. I want to throw something out. You guys give me that reaction. When Travelle was talking about looking for a pizza roll and found the McFlurry, I was thinking we were leading to an area where the pizza roll got added to the McFlurry, I was thinking we were leading to an area where the pizza roll got added to the McFlurry.

Do you think the world is ready for the savory McFlurry? Wow. Do you think you could throw in, you know, spicy Louisiana sausage? Jordan, why are we not social media consultants for major brands? I don't know. I would love to be. We could come up with this kind of garbage all

month long. Sure. Just be Jesse and Jordan's garbage bullshit month on the McDonald's Twitter. We'll work on the name. We just announced that we thought of Savory McFlurries. That's a bad pitch. And watch the checks roll in.

Yeah. That sounded nasty, so don't do that. I'm sorry. Okay, you're getting off the knees here. That's the point. We're getting hate clicks. Oh, oh, oh, okay. We're trying to generate buzz.

Oh, is that what we do to generate buzz these days? We're trying to raise awareness, Trayvon. A lot of people don't know about McFlurries, and we'd like to make sure that they do. I thought they said over a billion people served or something like that. But they didn't all order McFlurries. A lot of them got the apple pie. Valid point. Valid point.

So, Trayvonval you're looking around the kitchen you're thinking well as long as i'm stirring this i might as well be stirring something in i might as well be essentially double flurrying it well sort of kinda i opened my cabinet to see if i had you know something microwavable or something. I don't know. And I didn't. There's like rice in there. And there was a pack of Swiss Miss hot chocolate. And I said, oh, now I should also give you background and say that I'm, you know, one of those kids that, you know, would just eat the powder by itself. Like we don't need any kind of fluid.

You just eat the powder. And so I we don't need any kind of fluid. You just eat the powder. And so I was like, Ooh, nostalgia. Why not? And so originally they began, it was two separate, you know,

I was just eating them at the same time, not together. And I was like, you hadn't yet gone full Roy Choi. I had not. But then I had a stroke of genius and said, why not just put it inside the cup and then mix it around? And so that's how we got it. And listen, it might change your life. You might want to try it. Do you? Okay. So I understand your position with re-eating it dry. That is, I can't claim to never have eaten a spoonful of Ovaltine in my childhood.

Now, did I also eat dog kibble a few times? Yeah. Okay, well, now hold on. See what it was like. Did I also eat dog kibble a few times? Yeah. Okay. Well, I want to see what it was like, but I ate, I ate a few spoonfuls of rich chocolate, in my time. We were a carnation instant breakfast family and I've had a couple spoonfuls

of that. Great. So that's all covered. As long as Matt has eaten chocolate quick, we're good to go. This is a safe space for nasty powder eaters. If you're out there, if you're just taking spoonfuls of powder to the dome,

just know that we see you. No matter how girthsome your spoon is. Trayvon. I just wrote a book. A scholarly book. We're talking about girthy spoons. are yes this is important it is i agree what about the little marshmallows what are those like because they're like dehydrated oh not only are they dehydrated but i also feel like they might have been like

stale i don't know if they get stale or not. I don't think they were ever fresh. Well, valid, valid point. But it added an extra, you know, crunch, you know, to the experience. So it wasn't bad. I just, you know, poured it right into the cup as well. Yeah. You know, the more you describe this, Trayvyvel the more on board i am in the

the more concerned i am that jordan has registered so many objections through the course of this segment jordan's jordan's uh naturally contrary nature um i gotta have a hot take. I like to get in there. You like to fight, Jordan. That's what that is. I like to scrum it up. I'm scrumming it up in the streets. In the back alleys. I'm scrumming. The Beatles were

bad. Overrated. The Sopranos wasn't as influential okay sorry what six feet under what would be six feet under I guess Arliss started it all Arliss was the beginning of prestige

TV that's my contrarian voice ah he talks like this huh yeah that's my uh contrarian voice oh he talks like this huh yeah that's right green lights for suckers go on red i agree with matthew perry keanu reeves is a bad actor drag me drag me online i don't care if he's daddy. Scrumming it up in the streets. What's the contrarian eating here?

Spoonfuls of carnation instant breakfast. I don't have time for milk. Is this contrarian? I mean, is one of the things that he's contrary about that people should not live on land rather than should live at sea? Yes. Humans will develop gills if we simply take to the sea. Wait, did this contrarian? Succession is overrated. I don't stand Roman and Jerry.

is overrated. I don't, I don't stand Roman and Jerry. Is I, okay, so here's something that I'm wondering about this contrarian

is one of his takes that Waterworld was not a fiasco because I know how strongly he feels about people developing gills.

Would a bad movie have spawned such an entertaining stunt show? I think not. Treville, I'm I don't remember reading about Waterworld in your new book. We see each other at Black Trans Journey through TV and

film, but I'm just gonna, you have a pretty extensive. There's an index, you can check it, you know. Look can check it. Look for Mariner. Wachowski, Lana and Lily, LaMont. Watch out for the big girls. Lachlan,

Sean and Marlon Wayans. Yeah, I don't think we got Waterworld in there. Ida B. Wells. Maybe it's under Ida B. Wells. Maybe, perhaps. Here it is. Wells. Maybe it's under Ida B. Wells. Maybe. Perhaps. Here it is. Page 52. White chicks. Whiter world. It's the new Wes Anderson.

I'd like to... Thank you. I was gonna say just that the Wayans family do a sci-fi epic. Yeah. I think either way, either direction could do a sci-fi epic. Yeah. I think either way, either direction could be a great direction for this. For this line of inquiry. Okay.

We found out everything we need to know about this McFlurry. When we come back, when we come back, I have a big apology to make related to ice cream. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hey, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalin. Listen, you like podcasts, right?

Sure you do. Don't try and lie to me. You're listening to one right now. So why not try a different one called R1, The Flophouse? Uh-huh. And on The Flophouse, we watch a movie and talk about it. And then sometimes we also do other stuff. It's all meant to be funny and fun, and we think you'll have a good time.

And just to be clear, the name of the podcast is not R1, The Flophouse. It's just called The Flophouse. I do a lot of correcting Dan. The Flophouse. A lot of correcting Dan. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. A Jordan Morris boy detective. la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Bad to the bone. Literally to the bone. Now, Treveld, of course, bad to the marrow. Period.

Okay. That's right there in the middle of the bone. I teased an ice cream apology, and this is something that has been weighing on me. So I just want to get it out there. This is a safe space. Thank you for sharing your truth with us, Jesse. I have been eating a lot of milkshakes lately. Travelle doesn't know this, but I eat ice cream every day.

I used to. It's sort of like my little indulgence. Travelle, when was your ice cream period? When were you eating ice cream every day oh i literally stopped like four months ago it was getting out of control i would i it was so it was so bad jesse i would go to cold stone creamery once a week to load up wow on a giant like half gallon pint thingamajiggy of my favorite ice cream. And I would eat through it every single week. It was wonderful, actually.

What was your favorite? Half French vanilla, half cake batter with Oreos, Reese's, rainbow sprinkles. That's a lot of different shit. Your ice cream was doing a lot. Well, I mean, did you expect anything less? Fair enough. On brand. The brand is strong a maximalist

ice cream uh what did you stop for a like particular reason or just needed to need to mix it up um i realized that i have begun to develop a lactose intolerance and I said, you know, unfortunately I must put this to the wayside, but I wanted to treat myself last night and obviously today, hence the McFlurry. You gotta treat yourself. I was making

myself a milkshake. Do you do just in the blender? You got a hand blender? How are you making these shakes? No, I don't need some fucking robot mixing up my ice cream. Sorry. No offense, Trayvon. I can do it by hand.

You've seen one of these things try and stop Will Smith. You don't trust it. Why would I why why would i why would i let one of these will smith stompers at my ice cream they can stomp one of america's most oh right very competent rappers Had the rap world moved on by then? Yes, largely. But, you know, his style held up impressively well to the test of time, I thought. Parents just don't understand, in conclusion. Jesse, I'm starting to think you're skirting the issue. When's this apology coming down the pipe? Come on.

So I happen to have some of my favorite ice cream, Tillamook brand ice cream. The chocolate chip flavor, which is a really impressive achievement, I think, because ordinarily chocolate chip ice cream is bullshit. And this is a really successful chocolate chip ice cream. But, you know, sometimes when I'm making a milkshake, I like to get out my little container of malt, put some malt in there, and make it into a malted. And I had this memory. Is this carnation malt from the makers of the Instant Breakfast?

That's the very one, so you know it well, Jordan. You're going to love it. I mean, not that I don't know everything about carnation Instant Breakfast. I won a case of it in that boys club. Right. Yes.

A costume contest where the guy who fucking kid who won just wore his dad's cop outfit. Fucking I finished in second got diet seven ups and the carnation instant breakfast as a prize. Yeah. Okay. So I like to make myself a malt sometimes with the malt powder. And I had this sudden rush of memory. And this is where the apology comes in. When I was in college, I had a friend named Ben Smith. Nice guy from Thousand Oaks, was in a Vespa gang, had been on The Secret World of Alex Mack. So sort of a summary. Just a real back of the everything you need to know yeah hardcore straight edge had a vespa that could drive between santa cruz and los angeles and uh yeah like i said was on the secret world of alex mac

like I said, was on The Secret World of Alex Mack. Ben Smith was out at a classic college hangout at a Mel's Diner or something like that. You know, one of these kind of Americana Diner type situations. Okay. This was in college? Yeah, this was in college. This is what you do in college. You go to the diner.

No one orders enough things. You're wasting the staff's time. They work so hard for what little money they make, and it's really a punishment to them that you're even there. So Ben is looking at the menu, and he says, I think I'm going to get a milkshake. We're like, oh, great. That's great. And he goes, I've never had going to get a milkshake. We're like, oh, great. That's great. And he goes, I've never had a malt. Are malts good? And I think we all were like blown away. This guy had never had a malt before. We're 20 years old. It's 20 long years in which

he should have been having malts and was missing out. And we're like, oh, yeah, malts are great. You should definitely get a malt. So 10 minutes later, waitress comes, takes our order. He says, Ben Smith says, can I have a strawberry milkshake? You know what? Strawberry malt. I was knocked off balance. And I didn't recover.

And then I had to order my food. So I ordered my food. Later on, the food comes. He tries his strawberry malt. And he's like, oh, this is terrible. strawberry malt and he's like oh this is terrible and i think someone else was like yeah well of course it is it's a strawberry malt and he was like well i thought malts were supposed to be good and we're like yeah well strawberry malts aren't good and i i realize now, I mean, I knew it then too, but again, I was all over everywhere. How fucked up it was that I didn't have the presence of mind as he ordered it to say to him-

Just get chocolate or vanilla. Chocolate or vanilla. Yeah. Just get chocolate or vanilla and get that a malt or just get a strawberry milkshake. I feel like such a fucking asshole all these years later. And wherever you are, Ben, whether or not you're with Alex Mack, I apologize. I wish you the best in your career as a, I don't know, Lambretta mechanic. A cruel twist of fate. He learned to fix scooters and now he works on Lambrettas.

Jesse, are you going to do like a notes app post of that to Twitter? Yeah. I've already got the screen caps lined up it's brave of you to share that you are canceled um i'm gonna have to wait to post it though because i know if i post the screen caps that i have now all anyone is going to talk about in the comments is that my phone battery is too low right screaming it's really brave of you um I just feel like I feel bad. No. Yeah.

It's been 20 years. It was fucked up. I'm just glad I got it off my chest. You know, hey, if Ben's listening, Jesse will mail you a check for six bucks. You know what? How about this? I'll go one further. Ben Smith, if you're listening right now, first of all, again, I hope you're doing well.

Second of all. Collect hope you're doing well second of all collecting northern soul 45s maybe I think that's about right yeah exactly yeah you're right on target right on target I won't just send you

six dollars if you're listening send us an email at jordanjessego I won't just send you $6. If you're listening, send us an email at jordangessigo at maximumfund.org. Send us an email at jjgo at maximumfund.org. And I will send you a chocolate malt. Malt in the mail. Beautiful. Who else is offering malts in the mail what other podcast this is braver than when morgan spurlock self-canceled yeah

you're the co-host of the hit podcast fanti the award-winning hit podcast you two ever send out any malts in the mail no we don't send nobody nothing yeah so there you go so there you go jordan jesse go where's our award where's our award i'm offering ben smith from the secret life of alex mac you know if any of the cast of Roundhouse is listening, we'll mail you a malt too. If anybody was on, you know, any SNCC show. Let me say this.

Any, are you afraid of the dark? Pete, if you're listening right now, we'll send you a chocolate malt. I don't care if you're Pete or Pete. We'll send Pete and Pete one. I don't know if that're Pete or Pete. Yeah. We'll send Pete and Pete one. I don't know if that was part of SNCC, Jesse. Oh, was it not? I don't know.

What was the summer camp one? What about that one? Oh, gosh. Right. And their counselor's name was Ugg. Oh, salute your shorts. Salute your shorts. Thank you, Jordan.

Yeah. I didn't have cable. If Donkey Lips is listening, we'll mail you a malt. I really only got to watch it in the afternoon at my friend Jody's house. So all I really know is Danger Mouse. Oh, yeah. Danger Mouse, if you're listening. Banana man.

You know what? I can't afford I can't afford fucking international package rates Have you seen the international mailing rates Trayvon recently They're out of control What are the prices like They're Sky high

Thank you Speaking of tween entertainment. Jesse, you're very brave. We're very brave. And we have some very brave listeners who give us a call at 206-9844-FUN to share their stories. Or send us their voice memos at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. Here's someone who's done that. Hey, JJ Go.

This is Ryan. I'm just calling in for a momentous occasion. I, in about three hours, I'm about to graduate from medical school. And I intend to leave a voicemail as I'm walking across the stage, which I'm pretty sure would confer medical degrees upon both of you as well. So if I can see how that works, then welcome to medicine. And if I can't, then I'll also report a moment of shame

where I failed to leave a voicemail that I promised. Okay, so yeah, Matt is saying there is a second voicemail. We will get a satisfying conclusion to this riveting tale. Nothing really happens. You just hear a lot of clapping and stuff this could be a this could well this could be a penguin in the pants because do you remember our our old friend gene o'neill with whom we once did college radio big time gene o'neill when gene and I graduated from college, because Jordan, you were a year behind us, but... Don't remind me.

We're in the same cohort. All right, rub it in. I'm younger than you. We were in the same cohort at Porter College at UC Santa Cruz. And Gene's little brother, who was 16, I think, 7, 16, I think is how old he was. When we all had to go into the dining hall to give our names, to get on the form, to get our outfit, to go accept our degree gene's little brother just went in with gene gave his name and then was in our graduation ceremony well jesse they have digital safeguards against that now we graduated in are all medical students watermarked now? Yeah, that's right. So they know.

And hey, if what they're saying is correct, we have honorary medical degrees. See you assholes later. I'm writing myself a prescription for some Adderall. I am staying up all night. It's going to be the most productive night of my life. This is great. What fun.

Guys, I'm out on this. I don't want to have to go through honorary residency. No, you don't have to. You just have the degree. But then I can't practice. If I haven't done the residency, how can I practice? Who cares? Just write some prescriptions. For what? Adderall? Whatever, man. Whatever you are, right?

I'm staying up all night hell yeah this is gonna be the most productive night of my life yeah we'll see who's more productive with these prescriptions oh my gosh gonna be amazing it's gonna be so amazing woman at the pharmacy in Mexico City I was buying medication, some non-illicit medication, some standard medication for some traveler's distress that I was suffering. You're familiar with this distress. Diarrhea? That's the one. The old traveler's distress?

And she was so nice, and she really wanted to sell me some other medications. And I was like, I just feel like it's so easy to get boner pills on the internet now. That even if I wanted, she was trying to, was she specifically trying to upsell you boner pills? No, she was trying to upsell me ander pills? No, she was trying to upsell me,

and she knew that I was a North American guy in there. Spanish wasn't strong, and probably I was there to buy boner pills. Like, probably I had a cover story, and then I was there to buy boner pills. She was giving me like, is there anything else you would like to buy boner pills she was like she was giving me like uh is there anything else you would like to buy kind of look doing jazz hands yeah for the folks listening Jesse was doing jazz

hands when he said because you can buy these generally speaking over the counter I mean you have to buy them from the pharmacist but you can buy them over the counter in Mexico. And I felt like, first of all, I had discomfort and shame about the prospect of breaking the rules. Second of all, I didn't need boner pills. And third of all, it's so easy to get boner pills by telling a chat bot that you have boner problems i think right like can't you just go to one of these things from a television commercial during the baseball game and just tell a chat bot you have boner problems here's the problem though it's an imperfect it's an imperfect system because if you go on there and you tell the chat bot that you're looking for, you know, medication,

it'll just spit out a picture of the Pope wearing a puffy coat. Then you get the boner. Am I right? Yeah. Well, that's boner material. Yeah. Anyway, I just, I felt like it was a missed opportunity. I felt like, I don't know how I'm going to feel about it.

In 20 years, it'll be like that time that the fireman offered me a ride on the fire truck and i said no yeah i had a chance to engage with giant viking santa and i didn't take it yeah you blew that one big time i'm you you're on the hook for that you're gonna be on the hook for a long time travell what are some of your regrets nothing like what either of you have just detailed that whoa my god the lives that you both live yeah i am you know amazed uh truly i'm just you know sitting over here slightly regretting this mcflurry i had i feel like it's bubbling up inside. Yep. Speaking of travelers distress.

You know what? Let's do a check-in. Can I recommend something, Trayvon? What? Head to Mexico City, hit up an independent pharmacy, and see what else they want to sell you. Find out.

See what else is there. Listen. They're glad to do it. She wasn't like duplicitous. She was just helpful. She was like a nice lady. It was like somebody saying like somebody like seeing

a teenager go into the drugstore and being like it's okay for you to ask if you can buy condoms. It was like that. She was a nice woman. Well, hey, you guys want to take a break? See what else is behind the counter?

Buy some condoms. I'll meet you guys at Walgreens. I double dog dare you. Get in there. Get in there. Buy them. Buy them. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica.

I'm glad you said that because nobody says that. Can I just say thank you to you for such a thoughtful interview? Oh my god, yeah, I think you nailed it. Bullseye, interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know. Listen to the Bullseye podcast only from NPR and Maximum Fun. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Trayvon Anderson, your new favorite authoress. Trayvon, I have an important question for you here. I have an important question for you here. I have an important answer for you.

So your book is a sort of combination memoir and history of transness and black transness in film, or it is a very first person version of the latter, let's say. Sure. That seems about right, right? A very first-person history of... Now, obviously, there are explicitly trans stories in the book. There have been many great trans actors and directors and films and so forth. But there are also necessarily many films in here that are not explicitly trans in their subject, their creators, their themes. They're ones that you experience in ways that helped you understand your transness. Mm-hmm. When you looked back on this retrospectively, a life of film watching as a professional culture critic who only, you know, relatively recently in life came to identify as trans, you know.

Mm-hmm. What surprised you that all of a sudden you saw it as a trans text oh um you know what is really interesting is that you i know you all love your you know saturday morning cartoons and whatnot here on the show do you sound you sound that sounds borderline contemptuous i'm not sure where you're headed contemptuous or not it's true yeah i don't even know if this is a saturday morning cartoon but the powerpuff girls have you all familiar with yes bubbles in them sure um so there was buttercup yeah tonium look oh you know you know it you was watching jordan you was watching i guess so they're kind

of just want to name powerpuff girls characters anyway so there was a character on the powerpuff girls by the name of him um him was a villain now hold on oh how could there be a character on the powerpuff girls called him when i'm him i don't know these are great questions um he's him it me it's hume seed seed is nut spoon is thick show this is show you listen to show nothing else we not make you we not make you your fault your fault your fault bad to listen to show no y'all are wild do y'all know that do y'all know that has anyone ever told y'all y'all that y'all are wild no i i am legitimately very interested in this as a big powerpuff girls fan as a huge fan of him uh arguably the best villain on powerpuff girls even better than fuzzy lupkins

who is him who is him him is a villain one of one of the many villains on the powerpuff girls i learned recently that him is actually an acronym and so the character's full name is his infernal majesty hell yeah um but him for short and he was just character this like lobster he had lobster claws and these like black high heel lady gaga style boots and eyelashes and blush and this little you know pink tutu-esque moment of of a dress but like you know voice was like super deep at at times and also super high at various times and so now today right in the course of like writing the book and like revisiting so much um I now recognize that as like a trans perhaps non-binary character that I came across early in life that was particularly impactful for me at a particular time,

even though, you know, so many other people might not see that character as non-binary or trans. But I think, you know, it was interesting to do the book and as you highlight, you know, pull out some of these images in culture that, you know, might not traditionally be seen as a trans narrative or text, but like, you know, bringing my perspective and my read on it.

I had a similar experience when I was a kid uh watching the movie field of dreams so i felt like kevin costner in field of dreams was the first time i had really had the chance to see myself reflected just as a straight cis white man who believed that a voice talking to him in his dreams was more important than food for his family. Like people like me and Kevin Costner are so rarely, so many people, so many times you see in film characters who ignore voices that talk to them in their dreams and tell them to build baseball stadiums so that they can meet their dad again who's dead um or grandpa i can't remember and so yeah that was really important that was sort of like your experience with him is just like retrospectively now I realize. Speaking as a country doctor who gave up a major league baseball career in order to heal the sick and learned that there are other things almost as important as baseball, I saw myself in Field of Dreams.

Beautiful. I love that for you. Thank you. Thank you so much. What about white girls? How do you feel about white girls? As a man in black. As a man in black.

I sometimes hear my story rapped back to me by Will Smith over the credits of the movie. White Chicks, Jesse, is that what you? White Chicks, yeah. White Chicks. mantra, if you will, in the industry that Black men, Black funny men in particular, have to, you know, put on a dress in order to have mainstream success. And I talk about what ultimately are these drag characters that, you know, whether it's the Wayans Brothers or Tyler

Perry as Madea or Martin Lawrence as Shanaynay or Jamie Foxx as Wanda. You know, I can keep going down a very long list. How those types of characters, this also includes your favorite, you know, social media, Instagram influencer who puts on a wig to affect a particular character. How the same jokes that we often hear lodged at those types of characters, which is often about their bodies, their physicality, their big hands, their mustaches, their their facial hair, their, you know, big feet, broad shoulders. at Black trans women and femmes in real life and how the presence of the similarities between the two, I think requires us as a community to think differently

about these characters that we have fallen in love with so much and that everybody loves White Chicks. White Chicks is an amazing, hilarious movie. And it is. And yet also, I find it interesting that those similarities exist in the types of violences that happen on screen and that which happens off screen and i think we as a broader culture and community should grapple and wrestle with those things so that's how white chicks factors in to the book uh i am very excited to read a scholarly book that includes

both powerpuff girls and white chicks sounds sounds like my kind of book and intermittent mentions of andre leontali which is what i need from books and all books in future should it doesn't have to all be about alt but like just periodically let's get a check in where are we at with re louis vuitton uh louis vuitton canvas print afghans uh travell do you have any like uh book events coming up uh any any Any things like that folks can come out to? We have a lot coming up and going on. I'm so tired already. I know, I know. We have June 7th

I'll be in D.C. at the MLK Library. That's our nation's capital. That is the nation's capital, so I've been told. And so that'll be on June 7 7th that's a wednesday um they can follow my social media or whatever to like you know rsvp for all of those things

i'll be in miami in june as well um a little of this a little of that just follow the social medias you know to stay up to date um but i love seeing people in person miami from the from the will smith song yes the very one what a millennium it's gonna be uh trey val always a joy to see you treyville's new book is called we see each other a black trans journey through tv and film they are also co-host of fanti which if you have not heard fanti yet it is award-winning for a reason it is both uh fascinating and insightful and a hoot and a half. I agree.

Trayvill and Jared get into some of the stickier situations in American culture and really hash them out. Really get into the business. We do what we can. Every Thursday, check us out fanti f-a-n-t-i it's a lot of fun our theme music on jordan jesse go love you by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records you can find us on all the social medias twitter.com slash jordan jesse go facebook.com slash jordan jesse go instagram at jordan dave and morris and at put dot this dot on and of course on reddit at maximum fun dot reddit dot com there are wikis of jordan jesse go

jordan did you know that did you know there's wikis update fan wikis update the wiki you got some important information in this episode let Let everyone know. Nuts or seeds. Everybody already knows nuts or seeds. Anybody who's ever took a goddamn science class. Well, can't hurt to have it on the wiki. You think there's people listening to the show who's never taken a single goddamn science class? Of course they know nuts or seeds. All right.

All right. All right. Give me a break. Lay off. Lay off, okay? Jordan okay jordan you big bully jordan i'm never gonna stop razzing you buddy oh man i'm so razzed right now i'm never gonna stop razzing you buddy razzed matt lieb is our producer brian sunny d fernandez our producer emeritus. Um, look, is that all the credits? God only knows. No way to know for sure, but it's enough probably. So we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. love you