California Dreamin (On A Winter's Day)
00:00This is me, Craig Ferguson.I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour.Well, actually, it's about an hour and a half,and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money.But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while.Anyway, come and see me live on the Pants on Fire Tour in your region.Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding moreas the tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond.
00:25For a full list of dates, go to the Craigfergersonshow.com.See you on the road, my dears.Hello, everyone.Welcome to the Joy Podcast.My name is Craig Ferguson.And I'm your host for today's Joy Podcast, which is Joy Podcast hosted by me, Craig Ferguson.And I've said enough of that.They tell you at the start when you're a podcasting, I'm not a podcaster,
00:49and just a guy who's talking to you on a podcast, which I feel is like, you know,it was like when I used to do a late night show and I would say,is it a late night show?But it's not really a late night show.And I feel like I'm in the same situation with the podcast.It's a podcast, but it's just, is it really?I mean, it's us talking.And today, I'm coming to you from,
01:13I don't know if you can hear this.I think this, the sound is probably a little odd todaybecause I went to a hotel room, California.And the way you can tell, there's this sort of colors.And if I opened this window,you'd probably see the palm tree.Let me see if I can't.he opened it and see a palt tree.
01:33Let's say, for some flower tree of it,the palm tree is there?Yeah, look, that's palm trees.But I'll close it because it gets very bright.The palm tree at wind up.That's proof.I mean, either in California or in a garden center somewhere.But, um, which is, is Los Angeles a garden center?
01:52In a way, it's the Garden of Dreams.Unful.Um, so I'm in Los Angeles.And outside here in the motown,I think the swimming pool machineis making a bit of a noise.So there may be a bit of background noise.And so my apologies for that.
02:12And if you want to just skip to next week's publicast,then wait a week ago.But I do want to just say that I'm on the road right now.I'm filming.I'm not allowed to tell you what I'm doing,but I've been all over the country for months now.and I'm coming to getthe last 10 days of filming I'm here
02:31in Los Angeles andI'm filming hereand it's not a superhero moviebut IOr is it? No it's notBut I'm in here in Los Angelesand so I don't have a guest todaybecause I'm in my hotel room
02:49and I've got a bit of jet lag because I was in FloridaIs if I go to jail likeYeah I think I've got a little bit of jet lagI was in Florida last weekandI went to the Evergladeswhich was amazingHave you ever got a chance to go to the Everglades in Florida
03:07I thought it was like a swungIt's not a swamI mean the swampy kind of things thereBut it's so beautifulThe Everglades National ParkIf you've never been thereThat's my holiday tipFor any Americans
03:22Wanted to stay at home this yearBut at the same timego to somewhere very very beautifulI'm just going to pour myselfto click the watergo somewhere very beautifulgo to the EvergladeI also was in Miami
03:35for myself some waterif you're only listeningand I'm not in the bathroomyou know because that noisecould sound similartotalthere you areI
03:48I was also in Miamiand I went to Art Basiland I knowwhich is notArt Basil sounds likeoh something happened with the sound thereoh no I think it was all rightArbasil is
04:04a big art festival in Miamiit was lovely it's all modern artand it's very impressiveand I went to the windward areaof Miami which is the street artthat's amazing just amazinganywaythis is a tweets and emails
04:23that sort of the podcastif you're familiar with it.What it is is you send me in.It's like the old late next show.Let me do a jingle for you, by the way.I'll do that.Tweets and emails.I'm right.
04:35Tweets and emails.We're going to answer the tweets and emails.Answer them, Greg.I will.Thank you, Jeff.You send me in a tweet or an email.Ask a question or maybe make a comment.And I will answer your question.
04:54or maybe react to your comment.You can send them in the Craig Ferguson showdog column, I think.That's it.Or just leave a comment on the YouTube or the thing where you're listeningand somebody will look at it and then send it to me.In an email, which I get, I get a list of all the emailsand here you are on them.So this is the first one.
05:17This is from James Anister in Scotland.It was interesting to me because I left in Scotland.I don't know if you know this with me.I am from Scotland originallyand I have lived there off and onmany times in my life.I don't live there at a moment.And I don't know James Arthur,
05:36which is weird because I thought I knew everybody in Scotland,but apparently I don't.James Arthur.James has got one of those namesthat he has two first names.James Arthur.I am on the other side of that coin.I have two second names,
05:52Craig Ferguson,you're in both last names I feelbut James is in the other directionhe's got James Arthur both first namesor maybe his name is James Arthurfrom Scotland and he lives somewhere elseI don't know James has saidI'm just wondering if you still have a house in LA
06:07as I'll need somewhere to sleepwhen we come over from Scotlandto the World Cup next summeroh yes Scotland qualified for the World Cupof soccer as it's called inyou better get used to saying thatbecause it's going to be herethe World Cup's in L.A. next year, it's in
06:26America, which will be interesting.David Beckham's team in Miami did very wellas I recall last week.Anyway, I don't know too much about soccer, but I know that Scotland isqualified and they'll be coming here, so I suppose I'llkeep an eye on that. I do not have a house in L.A. James.I'm staying in a hotel. This is not my house.This is a hotel of staying in it.
06:52I don't know if I mentioned outside.They're doing some stuff to the poolor the pool machine is on.And by the way, these are my hands.If you're watching this,if you're just listening to this,then you won't be able to see.But these are my hats that I wear
07:07when I'm going to do in my business.This is my, I've got an American flag hatwith some fish on it.And then I got an ace hard way around.Both meshbacks and most traditional hat.So I have some hats in L.A.,but I don't.have any property for you to stay, which is the same, because of course, if I did at my house
07:28in L.A., I would welcome all Scottish fans to come and stay with me in my house and sing thesongs and enjoy the restrained drinking. You did it whilst watching the football.But sadly, I don't have her house here, so you'll have to make your own arrangements.This is from Julie A. Ferrano. She's a world.travel are currently in Ireland.Right, Julie.I'm wondering how many tattoos you havewhich is your favourite. She says
08:00that she has a living. I don't know how many of itbecause they all kind of bleed into one another.Although, it's funny you should ask because I was justthinking today, I was on FaceTimewith my wife who's not hereright now this morning.And I just, as I happened to talk, I noticedthere was a bit of a gap here.
08:19And they thought, you know, I could, because hereI think it's filled in quite a nice.I don't think I need to do it in herebut there's a Gat cross hereand I'm thinking what should I haveand I thought well something goes aroundthat line thereif you're not if you're just listening to this
08:34it's on my forearmlet's line on my forearm I have a Gat thereand it's kind of wall there I thought maybe a snakebut I've already got a snakeso maybe a youoror maybe a manof treasure
08:49so that you knowpeople canwhen I peg itand cut my arm offand follow them up to the treasurebut I don't have any treasureso I don't want you come and chase me aroundrecognizing me by one of my hats
09:03cut my arm offand then following them up to treasureso there's a problem with thatone I don't have a treasure map in my armand twothere is no treasuresoyou may as well know that
09:17that's the thing to remember about LAactually if you ever come herethere is go churchit's all smoky mirrorspretend traditionall rightthis is a littlewhat emails have I got here
09:27there's no actually people herethat's just I'm looking at my computerif you're just listening to thisI'm peering off-screenlook at a computerbecause I don't have mybreathing glassesI hear you're going to
09:41yeahI don't remember reading glassesI do have breathing glassesbutI don't knowI'm with me, so I have to peer.You'll be just certain,I once talk to an eye doctor said,
09:55when you get to about 43,everybody needs reading glasses.But I didn't need them until I was about,60.What need how old I am, it's crazy.If you ever get as old as me,perhaps some of you are even older,it's really weird, isn't it?
10:12You're like, what happened?But there you are.It's one of those things.This is from Dante,from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.I like Milwaukee.They've got two things in Milwaukee.One, they have a statue of the Fones
10:27in Milwaukee, becauseA, and the Fons, if you don't know,if you're maybe under the age ofsedalty,the Fon'swas a character on TV played byHenry Winkler and Happy Days.Harry Winkler, for the young folks,
10:46will know him as the drama teacherfrom Barry.But he had television I call it, Henry.The nicest man in show business, they say,and I had no reason to dispute every time.My counterpart Henry is always lovely to me.Anyway, he's a lovely, he's a lovely man, as far as we all.Anyway, Henry played a character called The Fons.
11:14The show was set in Milwaukee, and they were bronze statue of the Fons of Milwaukee.They also have a theatre in Woll.in Milwaukee and I always play it. I think I'm probably playing it next year. I'm doing a bunch of daysnext year in the Midwest and I'll be doing the Papps Theatre in Milwaukee, which is a greatarea and it's always a good night. If you're in Milwaukee, we're in the area, have a look on thewebsite and see what I'm playing the PAPS, come along. Because I do particularly enjoythe two Midwest theaters, three Midwest tiers that I really like actually. The Pabst in Milwaukeeand the Pantages in Minneapolis
11:52was just, I showed my last special thereandthere's another oneI can't remember the name of it, butit's goodyou have to sendan email to find outthis is from
12:09Jarrett HussI told you about Jared'sAnna Huffyou knowthe back of the day people got their nameslike if your name was gold slithyou were probably a gold slithyou know what I mean if your name was
12:26Ferguson you were the sonof Fergusthat's how people names developedsoJared Huff probablyJared's not in a Huff but somebodyback maybe one of his ancestorswas in a Huff and
12:42they called out here comes old Huffand that's how his name would probablyI don't know if that's truebut it's possibleJared Huff saysHow do you feel about indulging nostalgiaDo you think it's healthy to reminisce oftenLately I've been re-watching episodes
12:57of the Late Late ShowSee it reminds me thatEndless Possibilities Feeling we had in our 20sI don't want to bust your bubble JaredBut I wasn't in my 20s when I was doingThe Late Late ShowI was in my 40s and 50s when I was doing the Late Late Late ShowSo
13:15indulgent nostalgiaI don't knowthere was some James Joycethe great-life writers and about sentimentalityhe said that sentimentalitywas unearned emotionwhich I thinkit's a little tough
13:35but he was very clever so you know very clever peoplesometimes say things and that's very cleverand then I think that's very clever and then I'mBut, you know, sentimentality, nostalgia, I don't mind.I enjoy it a little bit.Like, you know, there used to be shows.Do you remember these shows that used to be shows about that?Like, people would say, I love the 80s, and that show was on in the 90s.
13:59Do you know what I mean?Or I remember these I love shows, there'd be little clips of people talking,and then they show you toys and stuff that came out.I don't mind nostalgia.It's kind of fun to remember, you know, back in the job.but I also think that it's a little bit it's a little bit misleading sometimes and it'svery hard to avoid nostalgia as you get older I noticed that I I you know what I missabout being and my kids are young I miss my kids being young because they would do
14:36what I say that a bit you know within with that is to a seven degree and I and IAnd now I feel like maybe not so much.But that's probably right.I miss having little kids.You know, I miss, you know, I take a little places and stuff.Yeah, I get, I get nostalgic.I suppose I do get nostalgic.Yeah, I think, well, that's okay.
15:02It's good memories, I suppose.Not sentimental, it's memory.Yeah, all right.I think it's okay to be nostalgic.So, there, you have my.permission to be nostalgic. Not that youneeded it. But thereyou are. This is from James R
15:19in Nashville, Tennessee.I'm doing Nashville, Tennessee.I'm actually playing there next year as well.I don't know where.James says,Craig, do you have any advice for someone who's stuck in bed for a whileafter surgery? Oh, I'm sorry, pal.I've had foot surgery
15:42recently and I'm bored out of my mindwell that sounds like it's a roughroad to loop hop I suppose if you've been through surgerybutI would say this when I'm stucklike on an airplane orand when I'm stuck in an environment I can't move around a little bitaudiobooks
16:06audiobooks is how I goand I readI listened to a very funny oneyesterday on the planevery funny and very entertainingand funny and funnyandinformative
16:22actually it's by an Englishcomedian very very cleverEnglish comedian and an actorand he's not just a comedianhe's an actor and a writerand hecan't remember the name of the bookbut David Mitchell
16:39is his name and it's a book aboutthe kings and queensof Englandfrom thereally from the beginning I guessfrom the time the Romans leftwhich is about 400 and I know it sounds likewell that sounds like an history book Craig and it's a little
16:59bit of a history book I think it's calledscandal or something like that I don't think it's calledscandal but it's something like thatand I could look atup but it's on my phone and I'm talking to you on my phoneright now so if I do that it'll just be a messanyway I could probably Google it hold onlet me Google it on the computer
17:17because I also have a computerseealright David Mitchelland David Mitchell bookDavid Mitchell is verydo you guys ever see a British show called the Peep ShowDavid Mitchellis in naturally
17:39Very, very good.David Mitchell, novelist and screenwriter.Different David Mitchell.No, David Mitchell, actor and books.There you know.Yes, this is it.Unruly, it's called.And he was part of a trio called,
17:58a duo called Mitchell and Webb.They were the two guys that did the peep show,which is really a fabulous and groundbreaking team.show that they made in Britain.So there might be something to watch as wellif you're in bed, James R,your foot surgery, you watch David Mitchell'swork, because I'm a big fan of David Mitchell
18:19and I was unaware of his work until fairly recently.And the reasonI came across him was the TV showthat I cannot recommend highly enough.It's on the brick box, which isand this probablydoesn't surprise you, butI am
18:36sorry, something you just tectomy.But I like the British TV shows.I like watching them.And it's a kind of murder thingthat's called Ludwig.And David Mitchell stars as a...Well, I'm not going to do any spoilers for you,but it's a kind of murder mystery thing,
18:53but...What do they call it, cozy crime?But it's not really cozy.I mean, there's some murders in it and stuff.But it's very, very good.And he plays the character of Ludwig.It's just fabulous.And so that would be my advice.
19:09to you James, if you're in search of me, that book unruly about the line of succession of BritishKings. I know it sounds like I'm not in any way interested in that. You don't need to beinterested in it. He's just a very, very funny, talented, clever writer and he gets angry when he'sdoing the audiobook, which I very much appreciate. So anyway, I'm a fan of that guy.Never met him. I don't know him.So I can't say if he's like Henry Winkler,but he's very, very talented and funny.This is from Simon Deakin.
19:50It's a good name, isn't it?It's a bit like a detective.Simon Deacon.What is the one genuine thing you first dowhen you go back to Scotland?Well, I don't know.I don't have any kind of ceremony.I suppose the first thing I do
20:11when I go back to Scotland isteaprobably I don't drink tea anywhere elsebut I drink tea in ScotlandI have a cup of teaso like I mean it's just a habityou want a cup of tea yeah I dobut nobody else asked me if I want a cup of tea
20:27sometimes I occasionally I supposemy wife will say you want a cup of teaI'm like no we live in Americabut I do drink tea when I'm over thereanywaydo youThis is from Michael McFadden.Do you have any mementos or props from your other projects?
20:47If so, do you keep them sacred?Momentos or props?Well, I have Jeff Pearson, the skeleton in my garage,and I have the other Jeff Pearson, the skeleton, in my garage,because there was two of them from the old light night show.I also have the secretary at horse costumes.There were two of them, two of them.traveling costume and regular
21:10oneI got a bunch ofyou knowawards and stuffI don't keep them sacredfunnily enoughI don't have a little shrine to myselfI keep thinking about it
21:22I remember oncein and I hadI realized in Scotlandthat they were up somewherebut when we moved backthey're in boxesand I've never brought them outand I don't
21:34I don't knowI don't feel heI mean II keep them sickNo I'm grateful to have themAnd the props and stuffOr in little thingsWhat do I have the snake cup
21:49I found that last weekThat's the thing I was doingThis podcastAnd I found one of the snake cupsFrom the late night showIf you never saw that showI used to drink out of a cupIt was made out of a coiled snake
22:03That Mary McCormackThe actress got for mewhen she was at the Albuquerque Rattlesnake Museum.It's a long story.If you've never been to the Albuquerque Rattlesnake Museum,though, you don't have to be in a rattlesnakes.You'll come out with a new idea about ratting snakes.They're in there.
22:21The one interesting thing is they're alive.It's not a museum in the conventional sense.The snakes, they're all hised.Rattle snakes.And you get to see them.Now, I'll be honest with you about snakes.They don't jump around that much.they move and when they move is exciting
22:38but you might have to waita bitthe idea of keeping it so I have thesnake cup but I don'tI don't reallydo thatI don't know I'm always kind of I think one of theone of the things that I like to do is
22:55or maybe it's maybe it's a pathologymaybe it's not a good idea but I like tokind of keep moving forwardis thatso I look at things like the ideaof nostalgia and stuff from the old days and a lot of that actually today in today's tweetsand emails about the old days and I like them and I'm happy about them and I'm you know I'mtend not to look back too much because that's unhealthy let's discuss let me know in your
23:27tweets and emails this is from Tina White so what do you know about doja catsomething about Doja CatI feel like you might have got the wrong numberLike if you're looking for a message about Doja CatI don't think I can be of any help to youI'm notI'm not an expert in that areaBut I'm sure that Doja Cat is very talented
23:56Certainly Doja CatI've heard of Doja CatAnd Doja Cat isI've heard of Doja Catwhich means that Doja Cat is successfulbecause I'm clearly not in the marketI'm not the targeted demographic for Doja Catand yet still I've heard of Doja Cat
24:16so that means Doja Cat is very goodat what Doja Cat doesThat's all I can tell you about Doja CatThis is from JacobJacob doesn't say where he's fromHe doesn't have toIt's not necessary, you don't have to tell me where you're fromJacob says, I'm a young adult tonight
24:35in the early stages of dating a girlshould I ask the hard questionsearly or should I ease into themtake a lot I got to be honest with youI feel you might be the same doja cat situationsI'm not an expert on any of thisif you're in the early stages of dating someonemy advice would be to
24:57take it easythat don't ask her I mean what are hard questionsanyway like you knowhow tall isGeorge Clooneythat's a pretty hard questionmaybe you could find out by Googling itanything you could
25:14anything you could find out by Googling itdon't askand if it's asked personal questionshold your firemaybe answer a few questionsthat might be the way to gobut I wouldgo asking any hard
25:32hard questions I put meit took me off certainly if I was asked a lothard questions like you know what's365 divided by28.4 I'd be likeit's too hardsoyou know and if you think
25:48well I'm seeing this personand they're really nice but every came to go outand they ask really hard questionsand it makes me feel stupid because I can't askanswer them so maybe a hold offfor a whilealright one more I'll doone more then I've got to go because I'm actually working
26:04this is really workingthis is just I was talking but I am actuallyworking and my hats are therein a hotel room you can probably hear the pool machinegoing outside so I got to go and go to workbut I willwell by my apologies by the wayI think this is probably going up late
26:22because I was made to do it yesterdayand that's workalrightthis is Simon from GermanCyburn is from Germany sometimes I used totalk like this on the late night show and we would walk the Germans butgently in a polite way this is this is always okay as long as yourwalking is respectful walking it's fine
26:48Simon Jerry says I have a slight stutter and I get nervous when I talk towith it okay do you have any advice on how to relax when talking to themwell I'd probably come clean aboutyour stutter. That's what I would say. I'd say, look, I'm a bit nervous talking to you, so I might stutter.And then, you know, then you get out of the open. Do you know what I mean? It's like, I think probablytrying to keep your cards to your chest or trying to be someone you're not. Just be who you are.And then that's probably the most, I think that's probably the healthiest way to be, isn't it? Justlike, you know, be who you are. Be who you are. Be you know, respectful, but be who you are. You'll be
27:30alright um and probably that's terrible if i'm sorry i better do one more uh this is fromahmed al-tahib from ireland okay can you tell me a funny story about mrs dambar your primaryschool teacher no i cannot have it an opportunity for why mrs dembar who was myprimary school teacher um was not funny it was very funny uh when i first went at schoolwhen i was five years old mrs debar was the infant mistress and it waswhen I went to school when I was five years oldin ScotlandI was born in 1962
28:05so in 1967 I wentto elementary schoolwe called a primary school in Scotlandand they hadcorporal punishment used to hit the childrenacross the heads with a thick leatherand bell they were reallywhacked with him, it was terrifying and very painful
28:22and that happened to mefrom Mrs. Dunbarwhen I was five years oldit wasn't funny at all I didn't care for Mrs. Dunbarnever did and she was uh you know what's interesting i do actually do you know isn't it's not funnybut it's kind of dark uh when my mother uh before my mother died she was in a she was in a carefacility uh for the last couple of months she was very ill and i went in to visit her one dayand she said oh do you know that mrs dambar is actually in here i was like oh really it's about
28:59Yeah.He said, do you want to go and talk to her?I was like, no.No, I don't want to go and talk to her.And I said, she's not very well.Like, it sort.It was kind of interesting because it had a kind of revenge quality about it.I was like, no, I don't need to have revenge on Mrs. Dunbar.
29:18I was a little boy, and I didn't care for her,but I don't feel like going ahead and witnessing her not being well.Anyway, is that funny, or it's, it's, it's, it's,dark and it's probably I don't know what it is anyway it is it is what it isbut I didn't you know the idea and I look back on that it's funny because this issort of been an episode about nostalgia I suppose isn't it and I when I look at the veryearly my very early childhood I school at home was fine it was all right it waswhat it was but but school I hated school I hated school and I hated it
29:59because, and they don't have thisand it's been outlawed for many yearsthat, it'd been illegal for many years, but they used tohit us, you'd hit us in the school,they'd have these belts, they'd hit uswith them, and it was really sore and I didn't like it.And, you know,I used to, I remember, you know, people
30:15saying, I would talk to guys in barswhen I was drinking and stuff, and they wouldsay, I don't have in schooland it never did me any harm.And I would think, you're standing herein a bar talking to me at 4 o'clock in the morning,so, you know,neither one of us is doing that great.
30:31So I'm not saying that thatcaused it, but I didnot care for that. AndI'm glad they stopped it. It wasoutlawed, I think,19709, I think, somethinglike that, 79, 1980,they finally made it illegal.
30:46But I left, I dropped out of high school in19708, soall the way through,getting hit with the belt,crossed the hands. And I didn'tnot care for it. And really,I think it did a number on me, to be honest.I think if I...
31:02Who's to say? You never know.Maybe I'd be worse if they hadn't done it.Maybe I'd be better.Maybe I'd be the Prime Minister of Britain.I'm not.I don't know if that would be bare.I wouldn't want to be the Prime Minister of Britain.Maybe I'd have been an astronaut.
31:18I think it's too late now to be an astronaut, though.I don't know that William Shatter went to space.But he's not really an astronaut.But he played one.and then he went to space and that thingand then Katie Perry went to spaceand Kenny Perry's an astronautAnyway
31:38That's about it for the dayI have to go to work nowSo I will see you guys for a proper podcastThis is, I mean look, it is what it isThis is what we doThis is at least at the momentIt's hotel podcastedSo probably from here next year
31:56I'm here for 10 daysSo it's probably for me or next week.Send me your tweets and emails.I'll add to them as honestly and as concisely as I can.And I look forward to your tweets and emails.Take care of my friends.Be nice to, isn't it, Jerry Springer.You say, take care of each other.
32:17Be nice to each other.Here's interesting thing very quickly about Jerry Springer.Jerry Springer, he did this team.show, of course, is very famous, and people were very angry about it at the time.But he was a very...He came on the late night show, and I was shocked.He was one of those guys that when I met him, I was like,you are not what I expected.
32:42He was so nice and clearly a very bright man, very intelligent man,and such a pleasant, friendly dude.I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting that.I told them that, and he laughed, and I laughed.That was it.And then I threw a cheer up.No, I didn't watch him.But people used to do that at the show.
33:07That's why I said it.You could probably Google.Anyway, I've got to go, and I will see you guys next time.Sorry about the technical issues today.The sound of the swimming pool, put that aside.But I may go with swimming it later.If I get a chance, it sounds like they're eating it.So why not?
33:25All right, take care of my friends.Bye.I'm going to be.
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