Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig Ferguson - Checking In From The Road

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

As the end of the year rapidly approaches us, Craig is still on the road. And he takes some time out of his busy schedule to check in with us from the road. Because the tweets and emails form the fans sometimes are just what's needed. Have a question for Craig? Drop him an email at [e-mail], send him a message on social media, or drop a comment below.  _______________________________________________ Craig is also on the road. Dates and tickets can be found here https://www.thecraigfergusonshow.com/tour _________________________________________________ FIND CRAIG: Website - https://www.thecraigfergusonshow.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/craigyferg TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@craigy_ferg X - https://www.x.com/craigyferg Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thecraigfergusonshow ABOUT THE JOY PODCAST: Storied late-night talk host Craig Ferguson brings his interview talents and singular world view to a discussion of the modern state of JOY, sitting down with notable guests from the worlds of entertainment, science, government, and more. How's our Joy doing? Bridled? On life support? Where do we find joy in a world that seems by any rational measure to be collapsing around us?

This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, actually, it's about an hour and a half, and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, come and see me live on the Pants on Fire Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond.

For a full list of dates, go to the Craigfergersonshow.com. See you on the road, my dears. Hello, everyone. My name is Craig Ferguson. I am the host of the Joy podcast, which this is. Welcome to it. And welcome to my world, where I am in California. And I am a bit tired.

I'll tell you why. By the way, just full disclosure. This is a tweet and emails one. This is this podcast. Just so as you know, just the full disclaimer. I'm on the road night now. I'm very, very busy working around a thing, which I'm not allowed to tell you about,

but I will as soon as I can. And the reason I'm not allowed to tell you about it, I'm not working for the CIA or anything. I, um, the thing is, it's not being announced yet. And if when you're doing a show, and it's a show, which is not being announced, the companies that are paying for it, they feel like they have a right to make the announcement in their own time.

And I feel like that's perfectly acceptable. I don't think of they are being unreasonable. Anyway, so I'm in a hotel room in California. I'm a bit tired because I've been doing all this show, this stuff. I don't have time to get a guest into my hotel room. I don't want a guest in my hotel room. And I'm a bit tired because I've been working very hard. And tonight, because it's nighttime where I am, although it's live, I'm sure, in your region.

I just came from the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, California. I'm not a magician although but I did go on stage and do 20 minutes in the Comedy Magic Club which is a legendary comedy club in California and the reason I went there is because I don't know if you guys know this

I'm friendly with G. Lennon and Jay goes there nearly every Sunday night he goes down there and does a set so I was talking to Jay this week and he said I don't know if I can make it down there and he said I went all right and so then I went to

down there and I did two minutes. I'm glad I did because it's an amazing place. If you ever get a chance to go there, the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, California, everybody's played there. George Callan, Robin Williams, all going back, all the greats of playing there. Letterman played there.

Everybody's played there. And I did it and it was kind of nice. I liked it. And I would like to go back again. And I think they'll have me back again. Because everybody seemed quite happy. Or else everybody was, everybody was still talking to me when I left, and I feel like that's a very good sign. The audience were still

there, and people were like, hey, why don't you come back? And I felt like they sort of meant it, so that's good. You never know a show business, of course, but there you go. Anyway, look, I don't have a ton of time because it's bedtime, and I've got an early start in the morning for this thing, which I can't doubt you about. But let me just run by a few tweets and emails that I've come in because the tweets and emails are coming in thick and fast. And people have got all sorts of questions which I would like to answer. And you know me, I run a tight ship. I'll get all of them answered.

Or some of them answered or maybe one or two of them answered. I don't know. This might not be a long episode because that is a bit tired. I've got to be honest. Anyway, this is from Kirk Wagner, Kirk Wagner, which I think is a good. It sounds like an old movie star. Maybe Kirk was an old movie star. Robert Wagner has a suspicion about him and something back in the day. I don't think I want to get into that. Okay. Kirk Wagner said, Craig, have you ever done or would you consider doing a voice for a GPS system? I need you to give me a load of crap whenever I miss a turn. Well, look, no one's ever asked me to do a voice for a GPS system. I don't think they're real voices, actually, Kirk. I think they're AI voices.

but by the way I have heard an AI voice of me and I felt it was eh it's all right it's a little bit like me the trouble is when you hear your own voice it doesn't really sound like your voice

because I know what my voice sounds like in my head I've been hearing it since I was a kid and it sounds different to other people apparently because when I hear myself recorded which I try and avoid I'm like oh it's the gober from the dragon movie but it's uh it's me

anyway have you ever done would you consider it a voice for a GPS and I would consider it but I've got to be honest with you I think I probably want paid for it yeah I don't want paid for it

uh I need you give me a load of crap whenever I miss a turn I don't think that's a good idea I don't think that's a good idea Kirk because I feel like if you get you don't want to get negative vibes in your car when you take a wrong turn you're like

no no go back the other way. Now, I would hate that. You don't need that, Kirk. You know what? You need a therapist. I think, Kirk, you need to lighten up and get a therapist. Stop being too hard on yourself. Find out why you want to get given crap just for taking out a wrong turn. Everybody makes mistakes, Kirk. That trick in life, and I always say this to my kids, and they always go, but here's the thing. Here's what I think. You start any journey. You have two degrees off course saying now if you correct that as soon as you can and then correct that two degrees off course that's not a big deal you do that but if you continue to do two degrees off course you get

further and farther away from where you're meant to be going and then it's much harder to get back so as soon as you can try and if you find yourself going a little bit off course and get back on course as quickly as you can but you don't need to give yourself a hard time about it anybody does it um this is from nico from Croatia, I've never been to Croatia and I don't think I'm going to be going anytime soon because I'm looking forward to getting home

for Christmas to be honest Nico from Croatia says although I do hear Croatia is beautiful I've just noticed there's a photograph on bicycles behind me a black and white photograph on bicycles which I think that's probably arty isn't it

I actually I like the look at that photograph I've never really paid any attention to it Now as I look at it the photograph behind me I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, anyway, Nico from Croatia says,

Dear Craig, what should I do? That's the whole question. How? I don't know, Nico. Maybe lighten up. I think we should all try and do that. Try and lighten up.

Everybody take a breath. Take a breath. Everybody take a breath. How about that? We'll all go, all right. Hold on. Hold on.

Take a breath. Good. All right. I feel like we all learned a little. Thanks, Nico. This is Gina from Madison, Wisconsin. And Gina says, Craig, are you still a vegan?

Do you often get to see much of the towns you visit while you're on tour? If so, I've got up a couple of great vegan places you should check out when you're in Madison. Now, here's what I have to say, and this will infuriate the. vegan community, but I have no longer a vegan. At this point, at this point, it's very difficult while you're traveling and on the road as much as I am at the moment, going to a lot of very different types of places. I'm not always in a town where they have vegan restaurants. It's difficult to maintain a vegan diet. And also, I kind of, I don't know, I just stopped. I don't e-read me. I don't already read me because I don't like it. I don't like the idea.

of it. I don't like the taste of it, but I still, I'll eat some chicken and I'll eat some fish these days and some cheese because I love chews. But I will probably go back to a vegan diet because I've got a medical coming

up soon and I think doctor I think a doctor's going to say to me, hey cholesterol boy, you want to get back on that vegan diet? Because it does bring down your cholesterol. Look, I'm not a doctor but if I stop eating meat, my cholesterol comes down And that's good enough for me.

And I will say this. I'm not on statins at the moment. I would take them if the doctor says, now, look, you've got to take him. Take him. But I'm trying to avoid them by, I don't know if you guys have noticed. I've actually lost quite a lot of weight recently.

L.A., I've been working hard. I've been doing the steps. I've got this step out on my phone. I've lost like 25, maybe 30 pounds over the last year. What happened was I watched my last special in the edit, when the last comedy special which is up on the YouTube channel it's called I'm so happy

but when I looked at I wasn't so happy because I thought man I gained weight and I do struggle with that this is a thing I know many of you do and so do I like I gain weight easy so I um I looked at the special

I thought you know I gotta I gotta lose some weight so I started doing this walking app on my phone And you know I've got very addictive personality, which can work for you or against you. So I've become addicted to these walk, get my steps in every day. And sometimes, because I'm on the road like this right now, sometimes I do the steps. I wear this little kind of, like a fanny pack thing that I go on an airplane, and I put my phone in it, and I wear my underpants, and I march up and down my hotel room. I've got to be honest with you, it's not a good look.

But sometimes that's the only way I get my steps in. but I get them in and it seems to make a difference so what I'm saying is I'm not a vegan at the moment but I'm not against veganism I'm just people get very passionate both for

and a guest like if you say you're a vegan other vegans are like right and then if you stop being a vegan they get mad at you and if you say you're a vegan to people who are not vegan sometimes they're like what you're talking about something like that it's a personal choice

man I'm not trying to make everybody a vegan anyway I'm not a vegan at the moment but I'm not discounting going back to being a vegan it's just it's kind of it's a little tricky to maintain it right now but I do like

I've noticed it I was a vegan for about four years and I did notice this you know that thing people say oh how do you know if someone's a vegan because they tell you that's kind of true but I'm not at the moment

and I haven't told you that but I might go back to it. Anyway, I'll go back to being a vegan at some point. I actually like the feeling of it. Anyway, I lost this weight, and I feel the better for it. But the interesting thing is about if you work in my line at work and you lose weight, and I've lost a bit of weight,

people are like, oh, are you on the, on the, and they do that thing? Like the Ozempec or the Mount Jaro and stuff, for Manjaro or Wegovi or or bingo doodong or something Bingo Donald is that's a real one and the thing is I'm not

and the reason is I'm not I'm very, I don't actually know this about a bit of a hypochondri act and I think I'd be the one that gets a terrible allergic reaction to it so I'm not on it but I am on the walking app which I think is good for you and I get my steps in every day

and I try and watch what I eat and I'm not always great at it but I try and lighten up I refer you to earlier on when I was talking to Kirk Wagner about everybody take a breath Nico from Croatia everybody take a breath

lighten up and you know if you want to be a vegan be a vegan if you don't you don't so what I'm saying is these vegan restaurants while I'm in Madison

and I think I am in Madison next year actually and I've seen that on the tour schedule and I always like to go to Madison they've got a great hotel in Madison, Wisconsin It's right down on the lake there And you can get this room

It's not super expensive But it's got a telescope And it looks out onto the lake It's fantastic I can't remember the name of the tail But it's really lovely And it's not super expensive It's not like super

I mean it's a little bit expensive Look I don't pay for it I'll be honest Because I'm on tour So the promoter pays for it But I suppose I pay for it really I mean it comes out of your money Anyway I like this hotel

so some things you're going to pay for. And I can't remember the name of it, but sit in Madison, on the water, stay there. It's good, although I'm not working for them. All right, Richard Gagnon, from Merrimack, New Hampshire. She'll like you may have ridden in before. I've certainly remembered Mary Mac, New Hampshire. I drive through Mary Mac, New Hampshire, quite often.

I kind of hang out in that neck of the woods, as many of you know, Mrs. Ferguson, is from New England so, you know, we go there. Richard Gagnon from Mary Mac, New Hampshire, says, is memorizing the Scrabble Dictionary cheating? Technically, I

know it isn't, but it feels like it is. It changes the game from a test of vocabulary to the one who has memorized the most words. How good a player are you? Well, that's a lot of questions there. That's a lot of questions there. Richard Gagnon, if that is your real name, from Mary Mac, that's really

where you're from. now I have to be careful answer to this question and I'll tell you why because I am the new host of Scrabble the TV show I can tell you about that

because I've finished making a season of Scrabble the TV show I made them in London and it starts on the CW from on January the 22nd and I think we nailed it I think we really did a good job we got

Scrabble players competitive Scrabble players and I wanted to do the show because I actually do play Scrabble on my phone. I like playing Scrabble. I like playing Scrabble with my family

but sometimes if you're on your own Scrabble on your phone is what I do. By the way, can I say at the moment I keep having a recurring battle against someone called Catherine F on the Scrabble app and Catherine F is doing a good job

kicking my ass but she gets close then I'll be her sometimes, the other time she beats me. So I don't know what Catter at F is a bot or she's real. You never really tell with the Scrabble. Some of them are bots and you know they're bots. The other ones you think it's real people.

And I like to play against both. I like to play against the bots because they play you back right away which is good. And I like to play against real people because I've got a chance of winning. I like play the Scrabble. I think memorizing the dictionary and the reason why I think I have to be careful answering the question

is because I don't know if legally I'm allowed to tell you but it doesn't seem to me because I'm the host of Scrabble there's a lot of rules when you host a game show a lot of laws around it but I think I don't think it's cheating in memorizing the dictionary

and this is this thing is hard probably harder than just playing Scrabble I don't know anyway I'm pretty good at Scrabble you know what I'm very good at Scrabble I challenge you nah I can't

I can't start I'm busy enough it's hard enough to do this thing without you know adding competitive Scrabble to my life

but you should watch the Scrabble if you like watching some game shows and you like Scrabble you like that show it's fun and it's also

Scrabble I mean I think we managed to get the show because it matters to me this I know that you're like why does it matter

to you because it matters to me because I like Scrabble is a good game and I enjoy it I don't want to damage the brand and stuff

and it's fun And I think we got it right on this game show. So anyway, you'll see it in January. It starts in January 22nd and then you'll let me know, I'm sure. This is from James Crosett from London. And James Crosett says, London's a town in England. James says, do you have any advice for starting a new life in a different country? I imagine he has a voice.

He could have a different voice. It may be a Cockney, cheerful Cockney. I'm going to go with cheerful Cockney. Do you have any advice for starting a new life in a different country? I'm moving from London to Dubai. And I'm anxious about leaving my former life behind. Well, I don't know if you know that's about me, but I have lived in one country, I don't know. Although I am very committed and very American-American, which I am.

And proudly so. I am also from Scotland. I originally from Scotland. I don't know if you guys know this about me. and I'm very proud to be Scottish too and I think moving to another country I think the main thing I would say

is keep your tracks up for a while until you figure out what people are what people are into and what's considered good manners because there are some things in in America that you know if you say them

you can see words in Scotland which are terrible words to say in America and are not that bad. There's a particular word you could probably guess what it is that you can say in Scotland and it's a swear word I don't really bother anybody

if you say here you're going to that social media sin bid and it's going to be bad for you um no is that still a thing probably I don't know

fucking cares um this is from Margo or maybe it's Margo No, it's Margo Leigh. Margo says, Hey Craig, I think I speak for a lot of fans when I say we'd love to see you in a punk rock band again.

You say you have drummers chops, but I dare you to do a little tour. Now, look, I don't think anyone wants to see a 63-year-old punk artist unless that artist has been a punk rocker all the way through. I don't think you get to be a punk rock drummer when you're in your late teens and early 20s, and then stop for 40 years, and then start again. I mean, I'm sure you can.

I just don't against the law. But I don't think I want to see that. I like the drum. And I still drum. I still drum. What I'm of all, I have an electronic practice kit, and I work on it. I also have a real drum kit, which I like to play. I love to play the drums.

I find it very satisfying and therapeutic. but playing a band playing in the bands is hard and I wonder about that because I have friends good friends, very good friends who are musicians, very successful in musicians and it's very difficult

for the economy the economics of musicians making money now is very very different to what it used to be and the old days musicians sold records and they made money on their records the way that their music was out now musicians I think struggle

making money from the records and go out, they have to tour in order to pay for their living. And it's a tough land because, look, when I tour, it's me. That's who it is. So there's a hotel room for me, a hotel room for the tour manager to mass. We travel in the same

vehicle and we go where we're going. You add, like, we had to take equipment and a band and, you know, all the different hotel rooms and the economics of touring. We're talking about Taylor Swift level touring. I'm talking about about, you know, just regular, you know, bands who are, you know, kind of playing 1,000-seat theaters, 15-100-seat theaters, bands that you want to see.

But it's hard. So the chances of me doing a punk rock tour, I think that would be unlikely. Although I will say this. Never see never, never, firstly. And secondly, I think if I got offered a job in a band that I liked playing the drums, I think I'd drop everything and do that. But I need a lot of practice and a lot of rehearsal, and that's all so expensive. So it's unlikely, but that's what I'm saying.

Nobody wants to see that. Also drum machines. You know what people talk about, AI, and I'm like, oh, yeah, AI is taking our jobs. and I remember being a drummer when I was in my early 20s and drum machines were really coming in I was like fucking computers taking my job

and there's drummers are going away and they're not going away but they kind of did a little bit anyway so I realized the AI was coming and I got out of the drumming game early this is from Ed Manera from Cork Ireland and he says Craig how do you like your salsa

mild or spicy well look now this is a bit of an inside baseball thing but you all some of you will know the answer to this I don't like salsa and I don't eat it but if I do eat it I like it to be spicy shout out to my not a real horse Miguel Andrade this is from Miguel Andrade who says are you still anti skydiving or people jumping out of perfectly flying airplanes I'm not anti skydiving I'm not anti skydiving I'm No, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm not like buying skydiving.

I'm just saying, I don't want to do it. I like to fly in airplanes. I like to fly around the little airplanes and big airplanes. I like to get in them. I like to fly them. Aviation fastening me. I love it. I could just go to an airport, watch the planes,

take it off in London kind of all day. I know it's a me key thing, but I do. But the idea of jumping out of a plane was a hanky on some wires to go to the ground. I feel like I learned enough about the rules of aerodynamics to go in fact this is an unreliable way to get yourself onto the ground. I'd rather land a plane. Airspeed, my friends. Airspeed.

And finally, I'm going to go after this, guys, because I'm absolutely nasturt. I'm sorry, I mean, I've been literally phoning in this podcast for the past few weeks. And the reason I've been phoned it is because I know you guys tune into it. and it matters to me to deliver it to you

and to make sure it's there and I'll get back to doing a proper one with guests and all that kind of stuff but right now I've been really busy and I appreciate your patience I appreciate you guys saying oh look grandpa's on the FaceTime again which is basically what this podcast is at the moment

grandpa's FaceTime although whatever I talk to I've got a couple of friends who are older and when I talk to them in the FaceTime they talk like, they talk like that, right, in it? It's alarming and kind of adorable. Anyway, this is finally from The Suspicious Moustache Man. I don't know, that doesn't sound like a real name to me.

Anyway, he says, have you ever recorded a Christmas album? If not, would you consider recording one? Well, look, does anyone need a Christmas? Christmas album for me? I think so. Although I will say this. I say that a lot, don't I? I think I say that a lot. Well, I will say this. I say, I'm not going to say a thing. And then I say, I will say this, though. When I was doing late night, we used to do little songs. They run up to Christmas, I would do little wheel in sweater and sing a song

with a guest or something. I remember I particularly enjoyed singing a Christmas song with Pepe the King Prawn who is definitely my favorite Muppet. I like all the Muppets of course I'm not a Muppet hater in any way but Pepey the King Prong and my favorite Muppet and he would wear a little Christmas sweater

and I'd wear a little Christmas sweater and we sang a little song by the Christmas tree and if I miss anything in late night and I don't miss much to be honest I certainly don't miss the schedule and I it's funny because I was talking to Jay I told you at the start I was with Jay Leno tonight

and we were talking about late night and he was like do you miss it and I'm like no man I don't I don't miss it I feel like I should miss it more I said I'm proud of it and I'm glad I did that show and I feel like it connected me

with an audience that I still talked to today I imagine most of you know me from from late night and I feel that's how we got to know each other but I mean I know there's other things and I was certainly involved in them too

but a lot of my life has been affected by my time and late night and I'm proud of it and I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I stopped doing it and I don't feel like I don't miss it in that way I don't feel nostalgic about it

I feel happy that it's that I did it and I'm happy that it's done and I said to him do you miss it and he was like yeah and I don't think he did I believe him He did it. I did it 10 years. Jay did it 22 years. It was no way I was doing it 22 years.

And any of you guys that watched me in late night, I know it was kind of amazing. I lasted 10. If you know anything about me, 10 years in any job, my feeling is what I like about show business, what I've always liked about show business is the gig nature of it.

Like you do a job, it gets done, and you move on to the next job. Things, of course, are changing in that regard. I mean, here I am doing a podcast. This doesn't really feel like a job, though it feels more like a, well, it's not. I mean, who's being me? I'm putting up on you. I'm sure money's coming in somewhere, but there's not a lot of it.

It's more about, I feel like it connects me, it connects me in some way to the people that I go out and perform to, I think. I think that's what this is about. And maybe it's just about checking in with people. people. I don't know. It feels like necessary. But do I have missed late night? No, I don't miss late night. Would I consider a recording a Christmas album? Eh, never see never. I don't think it's going to happen yet.

Maybe a drummer on a Christmas album? You know, just to kind of... You know, I'm... You know what? Maybe I should record a Christmas album. I'd get to where I've got some great Christmas sweatshers. And great. And it's coming up to that. I can't wait to get home. Like I say, I'll be home in a few

days. And I think I'm going to go Christmas sweater, pajama pants for a month. For a month. I have been all... Listen, I've been working on this job and the Scrabble job. And so I've been away, I've been working away from...

I think I've been home a week since August. You know, it's a lot. You know, I mean, I've been having to catch up with my family. family in different towns and stuff. I mean, it's been a bit more. And finally, I know

I was, I think I'll do one more. Yeah, I'll do one more quickly. After years of enjoying your, this is from David Murchase. I don't know where he's from. He doesn't say. After years of enjoying your show on the YouTube and admiring your snake cup, I was compelled to purchase one. Damn you,

he says. Now I'm in whole war with my wife who's terrified of snakes. Listen, David, the snake cup is not a real snake And if your wife is fried to snakes Maybe Maybe you shouldn't buy a snake cup Why would you buy a snake cup if your wife's fried the snakes Like my wife

I'm going to let you in a secret My wife does not care for the band Coldplay Doesn't like him at all I don't mind them I ain't all right, but she really doesn't like them. Would I listen to Copley around my wife? No. But would I listen to them when she's not erect?

Maybe. Maybe I would. I don't like them that much. They're okay. Oh, man, she sees this. She's going to be so mad. But, uh... I don't mind them.

But what I'm saying is when you're around your wife, if she doesn't like snakes, don't drink out your snake cup, see if you're not around your wife. And conversely, if your wife doesn't like cold play, shut up about it. And don't get her in hot water with cold play fans. Anyway, she's allowed to know like them.

You're allowed to not like things. It's okay. Because I think there is a kind of thing right now is if you don't like something, people will insult you. Like, oh, you don't like that. You're a jerk or something. I'm like, it's okay to, like, for example, I do not like the taste of always,

I don't like shellfish, I don't like to eat shellfish, I don't like to eat lobster or crab, and crab in particular, I'm like, well, I can't eat it, I just don't want to eat it. Now, do I feel that people shouldn't eat it? No. Do I think that people who like crab or stupid or wrong? No.

It's just, what they want. So the bottom line is if you buy a snake cup and your wife doesn't like snakes then be judicial about your use of drinking out to the cup and I feel that's about all I've go for you guys. I think I've been rambling

a little bit but of course that's what I do here. It's night time here. I'm sure it's whatever time it is in your region and I wish you a safe and healthy week I'll see you next week where I'll do this for my

home, I think which would be that'll be nice. All right, I'll talk to you guys next week. Take care of yourself. Be well. Talk to you soon. Bye. Thank you.