Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig Ferguson - Coffee With Craig

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

The fans keep submitting them, so Craig keeps answering them. This week on the Joy podcast Craig is one again answering the fan tweets and emails. From questions about paranormal experiences, tattoos, his late show, and maybe even a couple takes on pants. So grab a cup of coffee and settle down for another check in with Craig Ferguson. Have a question for Craig? Drop him an email at [e-mail], send him a message on social media, or drop a comment. _______________________________________________ Craig is also on the road. Dates and tickets can be found at https://www.thecraigfergusonshow.com/tour   

This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, actually, it's about an hour and a half, and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, come and see me live on the Pants on Fire Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond.

For a full list of dates, go to the Craigfergersonshow.com. See you on the road, my dears. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Joy Podcast. My name is Greg Ferguson. And this is the Joy podcast. Where the guest today is again. You are the guest again today.

I am still in London. I don't know you can see you out there. Look how... Actually, it's building still like that very nice, well, they are nice. It's just a bad light they're in. A bit like myself. If you remember the old light night show I used to do, you've seen me in bad lighten before.

So if you've seen me in the street, sometimes we were like, oh, Greg, we didn't know he was so well lit in real life. And that's because I am better lit in real life than I ever am when anything I ever do, the cordy wise. I'll say that anyway. Do you know what it is? I'm getting older. You don't look as good as you get older. Look at these buildings there They're getting old

They look great when they went up No, they're... Anyway, I'm in London As you can probably tell From people enjoying Fish and Chips In their houses through there

I'm still in London I'm going to be leaving London Tomorrow And heading to Los Angeles, California So Next week you will be the guest again I think But you'll be the guest in Los Angeles

So come with me, why don't you As I travel from Well, no, you stay where you are And I'll be here year until tomorrow and then I'll be going to Los Angeles where I used to live but I don't live there anymore I live in New York now which is no year anyway so what we've been doing on this podcast as regular viewers slash listeners will know is that I am because I'm on the road right now working doing various bits and pieces I don't have really the schedule or the time to book

a guest that I can talk to so what we do is we do coffee time together this is my coffee which actually I've kind of finished it already because I was putting this together it's kind of cold but awesome I do like cold coffee

anyway we have coffee time together people you I guess send in questions and I will answer them to the best of my ability and that's what I'm going to do today so it's a bit like live streaming except it's not live

and we're not streaming but other than that it's live streaming what I am going to do actually it's been suggested to me that we do do live streaming podcasts and I will do that I'm just that I can't really do it right now but I will do it

I'm happy to do it anyway this first question is from Mark Barlow in Wichita Kansas I have been to Wichita, Kansas I once actually bought an airplane

in Wichita, Kansas. Did you know that? Yeah, they have a Sessna factory there and years and years and years ago I bought a Sessna 182, a T-182T, which is a four-seat airplane with a pretty decent-sized engine in it.

It's a text-run-like combing, I think it's like 380 horsepower or something. But anyway, it's a, it's a turbo 182T. I can't remember. Some aviation geeks will shame me about it. But I had an airplane and I flew it back from Wichita, Kansas when I was into flying small airplanes. I don't really do that anymore because if you think it's hard to find time to book a guest for a podcast, try to find time to keep yourself current in small airplanes. And I will say this about small airplanes.

don't mess around in them unless you're unless you know what you're doing I think you have to be current in small airplanes and by that I mean you have to do it often and be very

safety conscious I certainly feel that way anyway I've since sold that airplane I don't currently own an airplane which it probably puts me in a position of most people anyway it was a small airplane

it was a lovely airplane, I no longer have it, and I'm okay with that. Anyway, Mark Barlow from Wichita, Kansas says, what's the most haunted place you've ever been in? I've encountered some weird stuff in my life, and I figured since you travel so much, you must have come across some proper, ghoulish apparitions. You know what? I actually, I have stayed in a couple of haunted places,

and I think haunted. First of all, I grew up in Scotland, so haunted us. like just haunted everywhere and then it's very haunty and then I I talked about this a couple of stand-up specials ago

a while ago I talked about this but it doesn't matter I can't remember it so I'll remember it now if I can't remember it chances are you can't either I I stayed at a place called the Hasa Yampa Inn in Prescott Arizona

I was there to see my friend John who at the time lived in Prescott, Arizona. You see, you pronounce it Prescott like Biscuit, apparently, so Prisket, Arizona, not Prescott. That's a very different type of talking. Prisket, Arizona, or Prisket, Arizona. There's that place called the Hassehampa Inn. But I think, I can't remember what it was.

I turned up late, late at night, and they only had one room left. I was, I got in there late, they had one room left, and it was room I think room 426 I think that was what it was 426 it was only one left and it was the apparently it was the honeymoon suite or something they said well this is the only one we've got left I'm like fine okay

so it wasn't it wasn't super expensive it was a lovely hotel a very nice hotel it wasn't super expensive I said fine I'll take it I'm on my own but you know I'll I'll muscle through that doesn't sound good it was on my own I'd be fine anyway there was a big storm coming in at prescott so I thought well getting at a hotel because I was in my car

I wasn't I should have got there in a little airplane but that would have been a whole different thing anyway I was in my car and I packed my car outside and I went into the hotel room I think it was room 426 and my phone ran out of batteries and I I, you know, my cell phone, which is, you're familiar with those. So my cell phone ran out batteries and my charger was in the car and I thought, God, I'm not good at in that weather. It's horrible. So I thought, you can manage for a night without your phone. So the phone went down and there was some books lying around.

So I picked up a book and I started to read it and I fell asleep. And I woke up in the middle of the night, like terrified. Like it was like horrible atmosphere. I was like, oh, my God. And I turned a light on and I was like, oh, this is, this feels weird. And I, you know, I kind of thought, well, I go out to my car, but it was still horrible weather. And I went, uh, but I, and eventually, you know, I kind of was very uncomfortable for a long time. I felt weird and scared.

And I thought, I have to get out of this room. So I put on some clothes because I'd fallen asleep in bed. And I went downstairs and I, uh, there was a, you know, there was a ghostly apparition. at the front desk. I went out to the parking lot and I got my phone and I take my phone with me and I plugged it into the charger

so I was sitting in my car because I was too scared to the fact of my room and the phone charge came up and it said I thought well I wonder if the Hassehampa Hotel is haunted so I googled it and it was very haunted apparently according to the internet which you know is very

is full of truth and never any hyperbole whatsoever but I even now this is not hyperbolic so I I googled the Hassehampen and it said very haunted one of the most haunted hotels in

Arizona and it was and it said on no account saying in staying room 426 absolutely 5 a cent nearly shit myself right there when I told you and I was like oh my God and I Apparently what happened back in the day, like back in the 1920s or something,

there was a woman there. She was on her honeymoon. So obviously there was a man. Well, not obviously it could have been a woman and women or a man. I don't want to get into that. Anyway, there was a man and woman had checked into the hotel. And I don't know what the story. It's a very vague story.

But apparently a man and woman had checked into the hotel. There was their honeymoon. And he went out to get a packet of cigarettes. I remember it was in 1920s and you were allowed to smoke. and he went out to get a packet of cigarettes and he never came back and then she was in the room for three days and then apparently killed herself

and I know it sounds a little odd doesn't it? It sounds like way there's a lot of holes in this story but that's the story that I could find out from the internet was you know that something like that and it was a very haunty room now look I don't know if there's such a thing as

ghosts but that was a very haunty place and it felt very haunty and I was scared and if you know anything about me you know I scare easy I scare easy I'm not one of those people who said I never get scared I always get scared I'm a little scared now you know because some of these houses back there they could be haunted this is London London very haunted place I think it's a funny thing ghosts because you think if you if you if you did see a ghost, wouldn't that be reassuring? Because then you'd be like, well, that's clearly there's an afterlife, so, you know, good. Or maybe that wouldn't be a reassuring because you think, well, I better behave myself or better

tidy up my... Look, I'm sure there'll be plenty of opinions about this. All I'm saying is, when I stayed at the Haseiampa, I think it was room 426. Don't quote me on that. It was definitely the Haseiampa in, though. Because I remember Haseiampa is a...

I think it's Yavapi Indians. and I think that was a word that they had the Yuvapi Indian word or Yvapi Native American I should say that lived there and they

I think Haseiampa was their word for something I don't know what it was probably haunty haunty place Haseyampa All right

this is from this is from Thomas in Raleigh, North Carolina And Thomas says, I'm just moving stuff I don't know if you can tell. It looks like a spider, doesn't it? Do you remember that on the old late show? A spider thingy bong night.

Come us. We had no material on that show. Just like that. The, if you had to erect a Mount Rush... Thomas and Raleigh, North Carolina says. If you had to erect a Mount Rushmore of artists, four artists from any artistic medium, who would they be in Hawaii,

can be in any medium of art well that would be impossible to only choose four people that's crazy I couldn't just have four people in any medium of art have you noticed the light's changing here by the way because it's getting dark outside since I started talking about hauntiness

also it is getting dark outside since I started talking about hauntiness the light has changed because it's getting darker outside anyway Thomas and Rallis North Carolina says, if you had any, yeah, a Mount Rushmore of artists. Four artists

from any artistic medium, who would they be and why? Can be in any medium of art. Nah, I couldn't do it. Like, even in any medium of art, like music or comedy or

or, you know, painting, or I couldn't do it. I also, I don't know that I hold with the idea. Now, I know this is not what you're saying, Thomas, but it kind of got me on. this thinking about this. Do you know when people say like the best musician of the 21st century or the best song or the best artist or the best I feel like we're obsessed with ranking things and I don't really understand it because you know just because one thing's great does it make

it I mean my mood changes even with songs you know like if you if you like this is the greatest song ever like a eye of the tiger is the greatest song, it's no, but say it was, Eye of the Tyres is a great song, but Freebird is a great song, Anarchy in the UK is a great song. Why is one song, you know, Tom Sawyer by Rush? I don't even like Rush, but some of their songs are great. So maybe I do like Rush.

I think there's a desire, and I'm guilty of this as well, I think. There's a desire to kind of make a decision about everything all the time. Now I'm not saying Thomas, or Thomas, I'm not saying that you're like this, but the idea that you would only pick four artists, I mean it's a nice way to start a conversation obviously, but, and then people would pick other artists that they like

and I get it, but even the actual Mount Rushmore, there's some controversy there about who's up there and do we add more, do we take it away, should be done it in the first place, I don't know, it wasn't me that it's an get mad at me. Anyway, I don't know. I feel like great art, which is what we're talking about, I suppose, whether it be music or comedy or drama or painting or sculpture or anything like that, is of course

subjective, isn't it? Isn't it? Beauty is in fact in the eye of the beholder? Oh my goodness. That's what it is. So I couldn't do that because the eye of the beholder, not the eye of the tiger, the eye of the beholder, which is in this case my eye, because Thomas asked me the question, the eye of the beholder changes, doesn't it?

Like, mute songs that I loved, and then maybe I hear them too much, or I'm sick of that song, or a painting that I love, but then, like, paintings kind of tend to stay with you, I guess. but I've got plenty of room for more. More art, more paintings, more appreciation. So I'm not for monuments to artists.

I'm not sure. I think the art is the monument, isn't it? That's what I think. I think there's no reason to put up monuments to artists because the monument already exists with the art. I think we all learned something there I certainly did anyway thanks Thomas that was an interesting question this is Lucas from Brazil

okay I didn't know I knew anyone in Brazil I don't but I've never been at Brazil do you know what I'm out of coffee and they do but not a lot of coffee they have a lot of coffee in Brazil I believe there's a song about that Lucas from Brazil says I don't know if you're tired of answering questions about the old light night show. I'm okay.

But I wanted to know if the little budget you had on the show felt better as a comedian, do you feel it forced more creativity out of you or a big problem for writing, planning, bits, and sketches? You know, it was both. It was both, Lucas. I remember thinking that it was useful to have, you know, because we did the skeleton and we kind of cobbled it together,

and we did a pant of mine horse and we threw that together and the kind of low budget feel for the show. I think people liked it and I certainly liked it. It was funny and ramshackle and kind of a little wild.

But there were a couple of things that I wanted to do in that show and we never did them. One I always remember because it really sticks in my mind. I had an idea to do a video. Now we never made this,

But this was the idea, to do a video for a Friday night show. And it was to get the Cure song, Friday I'm in Love. And what I wanted to do was to get Don Rickles. The great Don Rickles was still alive at the time. And I wanted Don to lip sync Friday I'm in love. It was getting spooky around here, isn't it? because the light's changing. I wanted Don to lip sync Friday I'm in love

in a car, in a convertible car. He was going to lip sync Friday I'm in love and then he was going to get out of the car and we were going to get him in a little plane and fly him to Las Vegas and we were going to have him to this big number where Don would do Friday I'm in love, the Cure song with showgirls and Vegas

and fireworks and all that and I pitched it to Peter Lassali who was my boss at late night at the time Peter was like that's that sounds like it might be fun and I think it would have been fun and we got we cleared the song the Cure

cleared the song for us and we were allowed to you it and Don said yep I'll do it and and which was amazing and but we didn't have any money we couldn't do it we couldn't do it because we didn't have any money and I thought now this was a long time ago

I can't even remember when Don died but it was a long time ago and it was in the time when you know I was doing all the puppets and all that stuff so it was in that period of the old late night show so I guess like 2010

something like that so that's 15 years ago but I always wonder I wonder what that would have been like I bet it would have been great because Dawn was still you know he was still ambulatory at the time he you know he wasn't he wasn't brave and his legs were a bit sore but he could have done it and he was up for it and and we could

have just made this big mad thing I had a real vision for it and and we never did it and we never did it because we didn't have the money and so when people say oh you know not having the money was was good I think it was but I think it was a double-edged sword because I think there were something that wasn't the only thing that we didn't do there were other things that we didn't do and I'll have a second just get the computer

I don't know I feel like I feel like on balance it would have probably been better to have more money but we didn't so we did what we could at the time and I guess that's what everybody does

You do what you do at the time I don't regret it as such I just kind of think about it sometimes I just wonder Anyway I'm not going to do it now Dawn's gone and I don't do that kind of thing anymore Alright this is from Ahmed in Ireland

Ireland I like Ireland I've been to Ireland Do you know the first time I went to Ireland I go COVID I never went to Ireland for ages. And then I went to Ireland and I got COVID. The first time I got COVID, I went to see the Book of Kells. And it was later on in the COVID that COVID had kind of, it was like 2021. I didn't get it right away. And then I, in 2021, I went to see the Book of Kells in Dublin. And it was very hot day and there was a lot of Americans all visiting the Book of Kells. And they were all ha, breathing. And a lot of Irish people had breathing. A lot of tourists, ha, breathing around the Book of Kels. Oh, that looks great. Does it. It's the Poe of Kells. Oh, honey, come to see this, the Poe of Cal.

Anyway, I got somebody in there breathe their COVID juice on me. And I got Irish COVID, or what we call the lepracovet. High Diddley, I had a high diddly fever. And anyway, that's beside the point. Amid from Ireland says, how do you handle evil? Okay, that's an interesting question. There's some more to this. question. So let me just...

Amid says, how do you handle evil? I was let go unfairly for my previous job and now an illegal eviction. I try to take responsibility for myself but I'm unjustly

being punished because of others. Thorny problem. Yeah, it is a thorny problem. When other people treat you unfairly, how do you handle it? God, it's a hard question to answer and I kind of wish you hadn't asked it

and I kind of wish I hadn't read it out but I've read it out so I'll struggle with that a bit and we'll see. The idea of other people being assholes to you I suppose the only real answer is, you know, I've had people

behave like assholes to me sometimes in the moment I guess it's about what do you do to minimize the damage for example if you let go from a job you're like a fuck out I better find another job so that's what you try and do and then an illegal eviction jeez getting kicked out of your house

when you shouldn't be kicked out of your house I don't know man there is evil in the world for sure how do you deal with it I don't know Try to avoid it I guess The only thing I do know is that when I encounter it

When I encounter people that I don't like Or people that are scary or evil And stuff like that I just try to get a fuck away from them As quickly as I can I'm You know, because I scare easily I think we've been onto that before

So When people are evil How do you stop them? I don't know I don't know and there seem to be plenty of them kicking around right now, but there always are. I feel like there's a philosophical tenet to this.

The Problem of Evil. Who said that? I can't remember. I need to look up. It's a complex issue, and I'm sorry that I can't be of more help to you, Amid. I hope you find a new house and get a new job. I don't want to be flippant about it.

I just don't fucking know what it says. the moment thing, isn't it? All right. Let's see what else we got. I feel like I really let you down there, I'm it. I don't know. All right, this is from Mr. F. No, Mr. F. G. 813.

Mr. F. G. 813. Easy to remember. Mr. F.G. 813 says, what are your thoughts on the nature of consciousness? What are your thoughts on the nature of consciousness? Is that the same thing as asking about your thoughts on thoughts? Sure. Let's say yes.

I don't know what you're talking about. Gosh. Look, can I just mention to you? These questions are getting too hard. Like, the reason I'm doing the question and answer thing is because, you know, it's like I'm super busy and I, you know, I'm trying to be, but you were asking me about the nature of evil. our you know consciousness look let's be clear about this I'm like a vulgar lounge

entertainer right I host get game shows or late-night shows or I do you know I do a little bit of stand-up here and there maybe I write something down or maybe write a book or but I'm not a life coach I'm not Tony Robbins I can't tell you how to live your life nor am I interested in telling you how to live your life All right What else we got? This is from Hang on a second

Sorry everybody, I'm really dadding out on this computer Now, this is more of the type of question I'm looking for. This is from Blameister Blameister says For some reason I want to ask about your favorite pair of trousers Now we're back in a world where I'm comfortable I'm pretty sure there's a funny story

in there somewhere. Why did you have to put that bit in? Now I feel Judy Bound to tell a funny story and I don't have a funny story about my favourite pair of trousers. I do have a favourite pair of trousers. Actually, I don't have a favourite pair of trousers. It goes back to the art question.

Some days I like to wear different trousers from other days. I will say this though. And I know this is controversial and this is going to set the internet on fire. But I'm going to say it. I think men my age should stop wearing shorts

I said it I don't think men in their 60s that's me I think we should wear shorts especially short shorts and especially on airplanes I sat next to a guy on an airplane he must have been about my age and he was wearing short you know like not shorty shorts not like booty shorts

but he was wearing shorts that were you know shorts they weren't like long down to the knee things with pockets in them they were shorts for like playing a sport of some kind on an airplane it was like a four hour flight or something and he's wearing shorts and his legs were

look I'm not trying to potty shame him but look his legs were they weren't pleasant to look at no that's fine he's allowed to have his legs out but I wish he hadn't but during the flight he moisturised his legs

I feel that's a private thing to do, isn't it? You don't sit next to someone on an airplane and moisturise your legs. To be honest, I can't recall if I've ever moisturized my legs. No, I'm not trying to shame anyone for leg moisturising. If you want to have fresh-looking legs, good for you. And certainly, probably my legs need moisturised. But I feel like maybe a more effective way to keep in your legs fresh would to have them hermetically sealed

in a long trouser of some kind where the atmosphere would be more humid inside and you can keep your legs nice and fresh like a stay fresh bag like a bag of trousers because if your legs are out in the dry over an airplane they're going to need moisture rights so get them in

this is my tip for you for those of us I'm about to take a long flight tomorrow I will be wearing trousers to keep my legs fresh, so that when I arrive in Los Angeles, everyone I'll go, wow, look, who's back in town, Mr. Fresh Legs? And I'll be like, how do, everybody? It's nice to see you. I got something else to say about shorts as well. I used to think, I realized now I was wrong about this, but I used to think, why do people with leg tattoos always feel like they have to wear shorts? And then I realize they don't. They don't always feel they have to wear shorts. It's just that I only see their

leg tattoos when they're wearing shorts. So people could be walking around with leg tattoos, but we wearing long pants, and I would know. What I'm saying is, this is the kind of things that I say to myself, to amuse myself, as I observe the human race.

Not always with despair, by the way. I think sometimes, you know, the temptation has to go, it's never been as bad as this, but it has. It's been a lot worse sometimes, actually. So, just thought I'd say that about shorts. All right, what else we go?

I'm glad I got asked about trousers, though. I felt a little more comfortable. That question about the nature of evil. I'm poor boy. That was not what I was looking for at all. All right, I'm trying to find something on my. Man, it's gotten really scary in here now. Look at all this.

Welcome to my scary place in London. We're going to leave this little place I've been here for a while now I've been buzzing around I went to New York I came back and now I'm going and I'm going to Los Angeles tomorrow I'm getting a bit tired of all the travel

but you know I will say this this is a phrase that I use a lot isn't it I've heard myself saying it now I will say this and then I say a thing I wonder if it's I don't know why that is some kind of verbal tick anyway

I will see this and I've always said this about performing and the job that I do, whether it's like filming or any of the things that I do to earn my living. I feel like I do it for free, but they pay me for the travel. That's what I always say to my wife, actually. I was like, oh, the show I do for free, because I love my job. I love the thing, you know, I love doing the things I do. I like to do this kind of work, but but the travel sometimes, especially as you get old and you sit next to a guy that moisturises his legs on a plane

like, come on a pair of pants, keep your legs fresh a different way. So that, if you take nothing away from this episode of the podcast, take this away. In order to keep your legs fresh, gentlemen, over the age of 60, get yourself a night. pair of trousers that seal in the freshness and don't wear shorts and put a saran wrap on your legs. That's not the same

and it's going to make you uncomfortable. It'll make you itchy. Wear cloth trousers over a natural leg. What the fuck I'm talking about? Anyway, look, I'm traveling tomorrow. I don't have time to have a guest on the podcast so that's why we did another Coffee with Craig episode. I'm out of coffee, and I'm out of time.

Well, I'm not out of time, but you know what I mean? It's like I'm done for now. It's getting dark here in London. And I'm a little scared because, you know, haunted here. Haunted by the ghost of a man

who moisturises his own legs. They do say on a dark night, on a dark night when the moon is full, you will see old fresh legs bob wandering from town to town, keeping his legs fresh, using the blood of its victims. Well, that's big grizzly, isn't it? I don't think it happens, though. I don't think it really happened. It's just a Murphy, don't worry. It's just a

movie idea. Fresh Legs bomb. It's a horror movie. A London like the time of Jack the Ripper, a guy who kills people and moisturises his legs with their blood. Daug, never work.

Would it? Stay tuned. Thanks guys. Talk to you soon. Bye. Thank you.