Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig Ferguson - Jet Lag Chit Chat

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Craig is still on the road spending his time in various locations around the US and Europe. It makes it tough for him to set up an interview for his podcast, but don't worry, he's not going to leave y...ou hanging. So join Craig with a bit of fan Tweets & emails and have a morning coffee chat with Craig. Have a question for Craig? Drop him an email at craigfergusonpodcast@gmail.com, send him a message on social media, or drop a comment below. _______________________________________________ Craig is also on the road. Dates and tickets can be found here https://www.thecraigfergusonshow.com/tour _________________________________________________ Find Craig: Website - https://www.thecraigfergusonshow.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/craigyferg TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@craigy_ferg X - https://www.x.com/craigyferg Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thecraigfergusonshow Listen to the podcast: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/joy-a-podcast-hosted-by-craig-ferguson/id1699118571 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1gD52euTghroa5ROD3JaeB About the Joy Podcast Storied late-night talk host Craig Ferguson brings his interview talents and singular world view to a discussion of the modern state of JOY, sitting down with notable guests from the worlds of entertainment, science, government, and more. How's our Joy doing? Bridled? On life support? Where do we find joy in a world that seems by any rational measure to be collapsing around us?

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, actually, it's about an hour and a half, and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, come and see me live on the Pants on Fire Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond.
Starting point is 00:00:26 For a full list of dates, go to the Craigfergersonshow.com. See you on the road, my dears. How's it, everyone? My name is Craig Ferguson. Welcome to the Joy podcast. Today's episode of The Joy Podcast is coming to you from a quiet time. What is is this? If you're a regular listener or viewer to this podcast, you will know that sometimes when I'm working very hard, which I am at the moment,
Starting point is 00:00:55 I don't have time to have a guest or it's an opportune moment to have a guest. and so what I do instead is I do tweets and emails like the old late night show the tweets and the emails they come in it and they're going to be a laugh the tweets and the emails to come in it something something giraffed anyway look the situation at the moment is this
Starting point is 00:01:20 I am working very hard and I'm traveling a lot so the last episode of the podcast was I was talking to my friend Tim, Tim Sullivan, previous episode, click on it if you like. And that was very nice, and he's a lovely guest. But now I'm in New York,
Starting point is 00:01:42 and that's not a long time ago. I was doing that podcast. I'm in New York now, and I'm going back to London and today, tomorrow. Anyway, so this is jet lag. This is a jet lag edition of the, the Joy podcast where you are the guest. Welcome to my world of Jetlag
Starting point is 00:02:05 with the strange business of waking up at odd times, falling asleep at odd times and the strange constipation that seems to come with Jetlag maybe that's just me. But I know that, you know, I'm a fairly regular fella. I don't want to get graphic with you, but I'm a fairly regular guy.
Starting point is 00:02:25 I got up in the morning, take care of business. but I um I am Jet lag slows things that apparently in the military I have a friend
Starting point is 00:02:36 who's a helicopter pilot in British Army and there he was he's retired but he said in the military what they used to do
Starting point is 00:02:44 was they would account for they would say getting over jail lag is about a day for every hour time zone that you pass
Starting point is 00:02:53 you know I don't know that they gave them in for it or I don't know if you can even take anything for it anyway it's a quality problem i suppose and oh we've got such terrible jet lag because i've been traveling or a jet because i'm an international genit setter um anyway that's what
Starting point is 00:03:09 apparently in the military their idea of jet lag is it takes about a week for a seven-hour flight to get rid of all the jet lag whether i know what that matters and also for pilots i guess it's got to be a thing hey right in pilots let me know if you're a through an airline pilot you'd cover a lot of time zones right in and let me know how you battle the jet lag or if you even care about it or if you think it's just like not a real thing like ghosts or Narnia or other things that aren't real. Careful.
Starting point is 00:03:42 All right. So here are the tweets and emails that'll be coming. There's a lot coming in. I think, is it my secret opinion, by the way. I think you guys prefer it when it's just you and me talking. I don't know if you guys like when we have other. or people around for dinner. I think you like it.
Starting point is 00:04:00 It's like, just us talking. You ask me questions. I'll, you know, I'll fill you in as best I can. I'm sorry for, I'm wearing my cozy thing because it's, I'm looking at myself. It's just a terrible thing to be there. I wear a cozy thing because I'm trying to get sleep. I can't sleep. So I'm doing an episode of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:22 And this is me, send you to sleep. Me, send me to sleep. I don't know. Anyway, I want to. what I'm saying is I think you guys prefer but it's just us because it seems like more people watch and listen to the podcast where it's just
Starting point is 00:04:35 me and you talk. So I don't know. Who am I to judge? All right. This is from Gail Gilroy. Doesn't say where she's from? So I'll throw the tweet away, obviously. Gail says, what are your thoughts on revenge? It's pretty benign. 4X
Starting point is 00:04:54 only involves a strongly word letter. Is it better to tell the other cheek or is it really realistic? Well, I don't know, that's a good question. Revenge, you know, I think revenge is probably a bit like Cheetos, you know, delicious, but probably not that good for you. That's my feeling about revenge and Cheetos. I also, I want to say this, though, a strongly worded letter to your X.
Starting point is 00:05:23 It doesn't sound like revenge to me. It sounds like, I'm going to say a thing. and whilst I understand the impulse of that this is look however you do it is up to you but what I do is most of the time when I this is from years of experience because I am now 63 years old I mean
Starting point is 00:05:41 it's unbelievable to me I mean if you said to anyone when I was young whatever you'll be like at 63 they'd be like anyway I'm 63 years old not that they would they would die if you asked them that what the implication was there that people would have probably thought 63 years in the number that they saw
Starting point is 00:06:00 me get into. But, you know, I have to say this, when I was 29, I, you know, straightened out, sobered up, fly right, a little more anyway. So, anyway, here I am 63, and here's what I have learned. One of the things I have learned through
Starting point is 00:06:17 multiple times when I probably should have done this, I feel like shutting up is nearly always saying this from a guy who really makes his living by talk and shutting up is nearly always the best
Starting point is 00:06:36 thing to do. I really believe that which is I know a real irony because all I do is talk all the time but trust me if I could make a living doing anything else if I was like if I could make a living like being a carpenter or you know I'd be a quiet carpenter or if I could make a living being a plumber
Starting point is 00:06:53 you'd have to get word out of me I mean if I could make 11 you know driving a big truck but I think I'd be crap of all these things and I mean I like to do I just don't think I'd make 11 to it
Starting point is 00:07:09 and so here's what I do I talk for 11 but nearly the irony being though I do believe that nearly always the best thing in the situation to do is to shut up particularly if emotions are involved
Starting point is 00:07:21 so whenever I have I have this rule I don't know if you guys can relate to this I never send an email if it's dark is that weird is that an OCD thing I'll tell you why I don't
Starting point is 00:07:33 because oftentimes I'm like especially if I'm angry which I know obviously as someone who works in show business I never get angry but if I did get angry like normal people sometimes do oh it must be awful for them
Starting point is 00:07:48 if I get angry I will write a strongly worded email like Gail was talking about sometimes. And then I won't send it till the morning. And every single time, every single time I've looked at that email in the morning,
Starting point is 00:08:03 and I went, you know what? Fuck that. I'll just let it go. Or even if I don't let it go, I come at it from a slightly different perspective. So all I'm saying is Gail, do you really need to send that? You really need to say it. And if you do really need to say it, just say it.
Starting point is 00:08:21 because do you need it written down to be brought up later in court? That's all I'm saying. All right, so I hope that helps, Gail. This is from Eden. Eden says, I don't know, Eden's just got one name, like Sting or Cheetos. Says, Eden, what is the last thing
Starting point is 00:08:44 you changed your opinion on? Also, what is your favorite kind of Oreo? Well, that's two questions there. and um complicated uh you sneak the next one it's interesting from a person who only has one name sneak in two questions feel like there's a double standard going on there even what's the last thing you changed your opinion on gosh i changed my opinion all the time um i i guess um i guess i have changed my opinion so many times that i don't want to talk to you about what i've changed my opinion on case i changed my opinion on
Starting point is 00:09:18 I will see this, though, and I believe this to be true, sometimes when you talk or write as much as I do, and that's a lot, you know, and sometimes it's not hosting a late night show, or sometimes it's not hosting a game show or something like that, sometimes it's not doing stand-up comedy, sometimes I actually write things down, like books, for example, and screenplays, which I'll be working on, actually, and one of them is, well, I will get that. That's one of the things that's not for now. Anyway, the, um, but when I've looked at stuff that I wrote down, maybe 10, 20, gosh, even more than that, 30 years ago, I look at the work and most of the time I think, oh, yeah, that's all right, but, or it was what it was at the time, but sometimes I will read stuff that I've written a long time ago, and I think, that is not what I would have said now, but I guess that's part of getting, no, no, no, isn't it? I mean, you change your mind. Winston Churchill said, if you feel the same at 50 as you did when you were 20, you've wasted 30 years of your life. Now, I don't know if that's entirely true. I mean,
Starting point is 00:10:31 I didn't agree with Churchill on everything. I did agree with him on stand up to Nazis and, you know, don't let Hitler over here and all that and don't make pals with Hitler, but you know, Churchill, I don't know if a lot of Americans, though Churchill's mother was American. although he's the quintessential British leader
Starting point is 00:10:50 English leader let's be honest he and is of course revered greatly by the Brits his mother was America which he used a great effect during the war when he was trying to persuade everybody to come on board anyway I don't like to get to that
Starting point is 00:11:09 but I guess I might have changed my opinion on Churchill a little bit there are parts of Churchill when Churchill was young I was like, oh, yeah, and then when you get older, it was like, wait a minute, or the other way around. Sometimes he was young, it's like, oh, wait a minute, and then we get older, and I was like, oh, yeah. Life is complicated.
Starting point is 00:11:26 It's not all binary. It's maybe, do you know, do you know when people talk about nowadays, like it's never been mystified and people are so angry each other and all that, and clearly that's true, but I wonder if that's a product of the fact that we live in an age
Starting point is 00:11:46 where our information is binary, you know, that it is like it's a one or a zero, that the science, digital technology is based on ones and zeros. So it's either on or off. I wonder if that's infected all sphere of political thought. I look forward to your answers
Starting point is 00:12:04 agreeing with me visiferously or disagreeing with me vociferously. See what I did? All right. All right. Julie Reed, this is a proper, good two names, Julie. Not that having one name is wrong. You can have one name if you want, like Sting or Christmas.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Julie Reed says, your autobiography came out in 2010. I think it was 2009, but we'll go with it. Your autobiography came out in 2009. A lot has happened since then. Tell me about it. Have you considered a second volume? I have. I wrote one.
Starting point is 00:12:44 It came out. 2019 it's called writing the elephant and it is a kind of second volume of the autobiography it starts the book writing the elephant when me finishing it late night which
Starting point is 00:12:56 the um American on purpose kind of ended with the end of late 90 well it didn't really because I did it for another four years after that but but I did write another one it's a funny thing about autobiography because the one I roll
Starting point is 00:13:14 in 2009 American On Purpose which I'm very proud of and it was a very, very successful book at New York Times bestseller actually and this is I'm in New York right now although I don't see a copy of it anywhere
Starting point is 00:13:30 so it tells you what that is it does do you in it anyway the book did very well but when you write a book American On Purpose that book was very splashy very big and very kind of celebrity autobiography thing. And the next book I wrote, I felt, was more reflective.
Starting point is 00:13:50 The writing the elephant book, it was more reflective, and it was when I had stopped doing late night. I'd been out in late night five years or so when I wrote it. So it had a different feel for me, certainly. It was more meditative and less splashy of a book. It certainly sold less copies, which is of no real. consequence but what it did was that it allowed me to write a book where I could be a little slow it down a little bit you know I think when you write especially the first book well the first
Starting point is 00:14:27 book I wrote was not a was not a biography it was a novel called between the bridge and the river but I talked about that I think last time we spoke anyway I just know it's an I need a haircut sorry everybody you know it's an odd time of day to be doing this but you know here we are we're now. Katie from Perth Australia Now Katie's not put her second name unless her second name is Fromm.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Katie from Perth Australia. Fromm's a real name so it could be that. So Katie from or Ms. Fromm as we will call her now Katie from Perth Australia Hey Craig if you lived in the old times what kind of job do you think you would have done? For example
Starting point is 00:15:10 blacksmith ploughman leach collector or that kind of thing well first of all I think I would have done exactly the same job I in the olden times I think I would have I would have just you know being the village idiot that's my job now
Starting point is 00:15:31 just talk and say stuff and hope you don't get your head cut off but sooner or later anyway Perth, Australia, of course, named after Perth, Scotland. I've never been at Perth, Australia, but I have been to Perth, Scotland, and it is, this may surprise you, a beautiful town. Perth and Scotland is a beautiful town.
Starting point is 00:15:55 If you ever get the chance to visit it, go ahead and get there. It's great. Now, I'm not saying Perth Australia isn't, but usually things are opposite in Narnia. So maybe it isn't a beautiful town, although I have talked to people who have been to Perth Australia, and they assure me it is a beautiful town. So go figure.
Starting point is 00:16:11 You make assumptions about things, and you're often wrong. Or I am, certainly. This is from Laurel Chesel. Wow, that's a very nice name. Larel Schesel. Or Schlaasel. Or maybe Laurel Schleschen. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:16:29 But however she pronounces it, I can't put an accent on it, but she hasn't stated where she's from, so I can't do the, you know, oh, she's German. Oh, this is a strong, I can't do any of that. I didn't do it for anyone else.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Maybe I should do it from Katie from Perth, Australia. You're right, Kylie. It seems right, nice. That was in Australia next day. I look forward to your letters of support my friends in Australia. You know, I do feel an affinity with people from Australia, people from the South of America,
Starting point is 00:17:05 people from many places that have accents you know people who speak English but they have an accent in English as their first language because it's one of those things whenever you run into people that don't have your accent
Starting point is 00:17:22 five times out of ten people both do your accent to you as a way of greeting like Regis who still was it to me the great Regis Philbin who I loved very much Regis Ustall whenever I met me go oh Kareem Virguson. I was like, knock it off, Regis. It's offensive. But he didn't think it was, and I didn't think it was either, but I would say it because I was messing with him. Because
Starting point is 00:17:45 back in the day, you know, friends would mess with each other and, you know, say, well, we still do that. You know, I did that with my friends. I'm careful not to do it with people who are not my friends, though, because you never know how someone's going to react. I think that's just matters. I do it with your friends. You can mess around with your friends, but don't assume that someone has your point of view or and take you're messing around. I think I'm talking to myself here. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Well, clearly I'm talking to myself. Everyone else is asleep. I'm good jetlight. This is from Larell anyway. Sorry, everybody. I'll get back to what I'm going. Lorel says, although I enjoy the conversation-style podcast
Starting point is 00:18:25 when you have guests, I just want to do is enjoy your morning coffee chats when you muse and share anecdotes. Oh, this is the episode for you, Larell. Morning coffee chats. it's more than I guess it might be something you want to continue every now and again when you get back to New York City
Starting point is 00:18:46 and you're regularly scheduled life well, Laurel, what a surprise because that's exactly what I'm doing right now life is a little irregular for me at the moment we talked about that earlier when I've got jet lag I don't quite get my business done in the gentleman's department not the gentlest department
Starting point is 00:19:07 the everybody's department you know what I'm saying milk milk lemonade around the back you know what I'm talking about okay so what I'm saying is things aren't as regular right now because I've got jet lag
Starting point is 00:19:17 but you know I'm drinking nice strong coffee and she doesn't need to know this anyway yes I have to say I do like doing these solo podcasts because I feel like there's something weirdly
Starting point is 00:19:34 liberate about what I'm doing right now, which is talking to you directly. I like talking to people. I do. I just like talking to people, and I like listening to people. I do like listening to people. I'm interested in what people say and in people's lives, particularly because everybody has a story. And I'm fascinated by, see, a lot of my life, and I still do this a little bit.
Starting point is 00:20:04 as much. I try to remember now that everybody has an ego and everybody has a story. Everybody, you know, it's just celebrities or people who write books and movies or people who, but like the bus boy has a story and will tell you if you're polite and get to open up to you, the lady that works in the drag leader. If we start talking, I'll hear her story and I'm like, oh my God, I had no idea. you know it's and I and I particularly enjoy that and I suppose that's why I ended up doing the job I do by the very nature of doing late night television I suppose that the people you talk to tend to be in show business but that's not always my favorite type of person to talk to and there's plenty of interest in people at show business but there's plenty of interest in people who are not in show business that I like talking to them so when I do this podcast, because when I did the podcast before it was owned by me on my own,
Starting point is 00:21:08 he would get a little push from people saying, you know, get more celebrity guests. I'm like, why? I mean, everybody's got a story, and why can't we just have somebody else on it? Like, some of the guests I've had on this podcast that are not people that you would normally run into in the show business world. And I really like that. Not that I've ended against show business. It's given me my life. I love show business.
Starting point is 00:21:31 but it ain't the only business it's not the only business I know I know other people so when I sing the song there's no business like show business I'm like well I wouldn't have been able to write that song because I would have written there's plenty of businesses like show business
Starting point is 00:21:47 everybody's kind of the same there are lots of people who are clever there are lots of people who are dashed there are lots of people who are interesting if you could just get them to tell you she's not got the same ring about it, hasn't?
Starting point is 00:22:04 All right, this is from Debbie Shane. Debbie says Yeah, Craig. She doesn't say where she's from. Or maybe it's Debbie from Shane. I don't know. If it's not a secret, can you tell me something about secretariat? I feel stupid asking but I've never been able to figure out how the
Starting point is 00:22:23 two-man horse actually works. I mean, sure, the one in front stands up, but does the one in the back have to bend at the waist the entire toy. Yeah, that is. Yes, Debbie, that's exactly how it works. The two horse, pantomime horses, it's known in the crazy world of show business. You, the front of the horse or the alpha horse, or the top horse, the horse that's the top is in the front. And the bottom horse, the bea horse, the horse at the bag, bends over.
Starting point is 00:22:57 And they work together to create show business magic. And that's what it's done. Now, when I was doing late night, Secretariat, the pantobine horse in my old late night show, which if you don't know anything about that, it's okay. But Secretary at the front end of the horse was always my friend and still my friend,
Starting point is 00:23:16 and a very talented writer, producer now, a gentleman by the name of Joe Bolter, which regulars, people who know more about me, know that Joe and I are still friends, and that Joe writes with me on many occasions if I'm writing comedy stuff
Starting point is 00:23:34 and writes for me I should say really anyway Joe Bolter was always the front of the horse he was a he was a PA at the time a production assistant at the time and we're doing lately he's much grander than that now he's grown up married as a baby and everything and sort of drives a car
Starting point is 00:23:51 but back then you know he had just a little hat with a helicopter thing on it and he used to walk to work with a hoop and a stick you know, and he'd have, say, hey, mister, you got a job, and I'd say, sure, you're the front end of the horse, and he was the front end of the horse, and various other production assistants or interns
Starting point is 00:24:09 were given the back end of the horse. So they're an elite group, but too many to mention here. They're kind of a secret society. I can remember everyone's name. All right, Juju Lee. Again, I don't know where Juju is from. When will you and Jeff
Starting point is 00:24:29 do it or is that they're able to say it because sometimes Juju Lee may be the first name in Juj I don't know I don't know how it's done anyway uh Jujui Lee says Craig when will you and Jeff do an improv comedy show or at least bring him on as your podcast sidekick well Josh Robert Thompson who is the main energy and kind of the soul and funny and comedy of Jeff Peterson has been on the podcast a couple of times and he'll be on again I'm going to L.A. soon actually I'll give Josh a call if he if he's available to do one in person. I do love talking.
Starting point is 00:25:02 I do love talking to Josh, Robert Tongson. Please remember this about Jeff Pearson. If you remember nothing else about the comedy robot on late-night TV, on my own late-night show. That was Josh Robert Thompson did that. He did that. He was on my show. So I got a lot of credit for it.
Starting point is 00:25:23 And I came up with the name, Jeff Peterson. You know, but Grad Gamahara, God rest of him, who was just a beautiful man. Grant Imahara, the Mythbusters, tech genius, he built the robots. I didn't build the robot, but this is the idea. And then Josh Robert Thompson,
Starting point is 00:25:44 who did the voice for it. Tom Straw, who was one of the writers of the show, was also involved in the early days of Jeff Peterson. But really, I'd have to say, the energy and the success of Jeff Peterson was Josh, Robert Thompson. So, yeah, I will have what I was a guest. He's a comic genius. He makes me laugh like crazy. Very funny, man. This is from Edible Ape Man. That's an interesting name. Edible Ape Man. People have unusual names sometimes.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Sometimes, I will say this about the internet and emails and emails and stuff. Sometimes people don't send you their real day. And, you know, sometimes stuff on the internet isn't true. I know if you guys know that. I mean, this is true. This is me here doing this. I'm not an AI today. Unless you're really annoying to something I said. And then, this is AI.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Anbel 8man says, Good morning from Kansas. If you could have a part of the film written specifically with you in mind, what kind of character and what kind of film would you have it to be, ideally? Would it be a dashing room, get a space fantasy, romantic lead in a prison drama? All right, very funny. I feel like if there was a film I would like to be,
Starting point is 00:27:09 and I've never been, I've been in a few films, you know, you can look me up, I've been in a couple, but if there's been in a Western, I'd like being a Western. I mean, I'd like to be in a Western and do some back of tune
Starting point is 00:27:22 and maybe, you know, take care of some bad guys, ride a horse, no fall off, because every time I write a horse at the moment it seemed to fall off so maybe we could use AI to make me look I was better at horses than
Starting point is 00:27:35 I actually am. I don't like horses and I and I am the proud co-owner of three horses well two and a half we have two giant cobs and a Shetland which is kind of like a back up horse you know like the wheel in your car
Starting point is 00:27:51 you know like if you burst a tire there's a little tire inside that will get you as far as the is the garage so you can get your your whale replaced, you know, your tire replaced. That's a Shetland. So we have a Shetland and two cobs. But they're really, my wife's horses.
Starting point is 00:28:08 She's very horsey. Which kind of explains why we're together, I suppose, because, you know, she doesn't mind being around big smelly things that just like poop everywhere. Although at the moment, as we have learned today,
Starting point is 00:28:23 not pooping anywhere. Not even where I should poop. It'll work out. And I look forward to your advice about you know home remedies to get stuff moving again although as this podcast goes this is probably an overshare as time is going on
Starting point is 00:28:38 I think coughing's kicking in and we're going to be all right and so what I'm saying is this is your five minute warning the podcast is going to be over soon you know what I said all right too much all right all right
Starting point is 00:28:55 this is from Kim's Lantern again I don't think that's wheel there. Kim says I hope you grow the scruff out again, Craig. It's very attractive
Starting point is 00:29:07 on you. Oh, thanks, Kim. Well, here's the thing. The job I've been doing at the moment requires me to shave. So, I've been shaving.
Starting point is 00:29:18 And I've got to be honest with you, I kind of like it. I stopped shaving for a while after late night. You notice how all late night is when they stopped doing, like Lerman, of course, being the absolute
Starting point is 00:29:28 the kind of over-the-top example. They just stop shaving. It's because you have to shave every day when you're doing a late-night show. Although nowadays, late-night shows can have beards. What kind of a world is that? Beards, moustaches, sometimes they don't wear ties. I come from a different time, my friends.
Starting point is 00:29:45 We always had to shave and wear the tie. I tried not wearing a tie. Oh, man. That was controversial. I tried growing a moustache once. You think late-night's controversial now. Look up the time I tried to grow a moustache. wasn't that bad
Starting point is 00:30:00 this is from I'm just serious I don't think that's a real name I think that's one of them internet nom de plumes a nom de girl a nom de internet I'm just serious
Starting point is 00:30:17 says how much money have you earned and spent that's kind of a personal question but I will say this I've probably in the last couple of years I've spent more than I earned but the last
Starting point is 00:30:34 no, a couple of years before that in the last couple of years I probably I went a little crazy for a while because I didn't come from money if you know this about me I don't come from money and after a while when I was in Hollywood for a while I started making
Starting point is 00:30:48 a little bit of money I'm not a billionaire any of that crap but I you know I was making a little money and I you know a little money's a weird thing because if you grow up kind of in modest circumstances
Starting point is 00:31:01 which I most certainly did I had a feeling that money would solve all my problems people would say if I had that money I would do this that's how people talked because they were Scottish and that's where I left when I was young and what I have found
Starting point is 00:31:20 about money is that it's great having some money money is really useful I don't know if that is used to anyone. But there are certain things that it can't touch. I mean, take care of so many things that are important. And I understand
Starting point is 00:31:36 that. Please don't get high greener. Me, if you don't have any money, or if you don't have as much money as you want, or you think, I've got too much because I assure you, in the having too much money leagues, I ain't your guy. But it
Starting point is 00:31:52 doesn't do what I thought it would do it's an odd thing and it's hard to explain it maybe a little like this so when I was a kid
Starting point is 00:32:12 I hated going to the dentist hated it now I grew up in Scotland in the late 1960s early late 1960s and 70s and although we could afford that the dentist, you know, was, it was socialized medicine, so you could go to the dentist and you, and you would. I hated it. I hated it. It was, it terrified me. I really hated it.
Starting point is 00:32:37 And I thought when I was a wee boy in Cumbernauld and Scotland, I thought, you know, if I grew up, I get famous and I get on the telly, I'm not going to go to the dentist. I won't have to. If I make some money, I won't have to go in the dentist. Because I, someone I equated it with being poor I think when you're poor you think everything's to do with being poor it certainly feels like that
Starting point is 00:33:01 anyway I used to think when I was a kid when I grew up I'm going to make some money and I've never gone at a dentist hour again and then I grew up my stuff working on American television let me tell you some if you work in movies or television
Starting point is 00:33:18 in the United States of America you'll be gone to the dentist a lot especially if you grew up in Scotland in the 60s or 70s and you go into a couple of barfights and you and you go into you know
Starting point is 00:33:32 no go to the dentist for a while while you were you know enjoying active alcoholism which is you know it's not a big dead go-to thing I don't know it's an interesting thing How much money have I am? Probably more than I deserved.
Starting point is 00:33:51 How much have I spent? Probably more than I should have. But I'm grateful for every fucking penny. You know? So I think that it's kind of an interesting thing. I know I'm kind of going on a bit today. And I do have to leave in a minute, if you know what I'm saying. Coffee's kicking in.
Starting point is 00:34:16 But I... the things that are beyond a certain kind of being able to take care of your family and stuff and of course everyone wants that you know it's not else you know it's not that it's a way to get make sure you're staying on top of it I suppose it helps but it's not everything that's all I'm saying it's not it's not what I thought it was it's good basically like it um I'd rather have it and don't have it, though. I'd rather have some money than don't have it. So how much money have you earned it spent?
Starting point is 00:34:56 I don't know. No, I do know this. I do have to go, my friends. Thank you for talking me through a jet-lack chitty chat. I think I'm getting better. And I'll see you guys. It'll probably just be us again next week. I'm so busy right now.
Starting point is 00:35:15 And I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining, but I am busy. so I think this will be how we do it for a little while until I get my feet kind of settled out a little bit with everything that's going on. I'll fill you in and all of this later on. I hope you will. Stay safe, my friends, and I'll see you next week.
Starting point is 00:35:37 See you. Thank you.

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