Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig Ferguson - Paul F. Tompkins
Episode Date: January 21, 2025Meet Paul F. Tompkins, comedian, actor, and writer. Those who love comedy know him well - from the podcast Comedy Bang! Bang!, Bojack Horseman, Mr. Show, or Best Week Ever to name a few of many. I had... a fantastic time chatting with Paul and I hope you EnJOY!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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People my people, what's up?
This is Questlove.
Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up
another season of Quaslove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close
out the season, but you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible
conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E. Jonathan
Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet,
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You gotta check them out.
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The Craig Ferguson Pants on Fire tour is on sale now.
It's a new show, it's new material, but I'm afraid it's still only me, Craig Ferguson,
on my own, standing on a stage, telling comedy words.
Come and see me, buy tickets, bring your loved ones, or don't come and see me.
Don't buy tickets and don't bring your loved ones.
I'm not your dad. You come or don't come, you should at least know it's happening and it is. The tour kicks
off late September and goes through the end of the year and beyond. Tickets are available at
thecraigfergussonshow.com slash tour. They're available at thecraigfergussonshow.com slash tour
or at your local outlet in your region. My.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com. is Paul F Tompkins and I suppose at some point in the conversation I should ask
him what the F stands for but my guess is I'll forget because he was the voice of
Mr. Peanut Butter in BoJack Horseman the greatest cartoon ever made. Fight me if
you don't believe me. Anyway, enjoy. Paul F. Tompkins.
Hey, Paul. Thank you for joining us.
I know that we had a little bit of technical problems
at the beginning there.
It's true.
And I was informed by you and our producer
that you are using maximum quality on your computer
now.
Well, you know, I see in the QuickTime drop down menu, it gives you the choice between
high and maximum.
And you know what?
I feel like this is a special occasion.
And so I went with maximum quality.
When you were, you know, in your well-documented crazy drug years,
did you go high or maximum most of the time?
Well, unfortunately, I went maximum most of the time,
and that's why I can't do those drugs anymore.
Really? Is that true?
I was a big physician, but you actually did have a high maximum drug time?
I did not have a high maximum drug time.
This is probably my high maximum drug time? I did not have a high maximum drug time. This is probably my high maximum drug time.
Where with the advent of legal weed,
probably having an edible every once in a while
is my maximum drug use.
That seems very civilized.
I don't know that if there had been legal weed
when I was doing drugs,
I don't think it would have made any difference to me.
But I tell you this.
I tell you this.
Had I known about prescription lens sunglasses, I don't know if I would ever got sober.
Really?
Now, why is that?
Because when you put on prescription lens sunglasses, I imagined I've never done it
because I didn't find out about them until after I stopped drinking.
But I feel like if you put them on and you had a hangover, you'd be like, it's all right.
It's all right. I can see pretty well.
No one can see my eyes and everything's darkened down a little bit.
I think it would have certainly prolonged my drinking and maybe have killed me.
Maybe have killed me.
I have a theory, Craig.
OK. and maybe have killed me. Maybe have killed me. I have a theory, Craig. Okay. That in a hangover state,
being able to see more clearly is a disadvantage.
You know, you make a point,
but having it through the lens of darkness,
it can still be like,
well, I have a hangover,
but that's perfectly appropriate because it's nighttime
and I can start drinking again.
That's probably what I was looking for.
It's I've known alcoholic drinking in the morning because it's nighttime.
Yeah.
There you go.
Can I say, by the way, you are part of an elite gang of people, an
extremely elite gang of people, which is probably what elite means.
But you are a cast member
of the great BoJack Horseman series.
That is correct.
That is correct.
Yeah, you were Mr. Peanutbutter, right?
Correct, yes.
Right, which I think to my mind is the greatest show
ever made about Los Angeles ever in the history of,
the most accurate one, certainly.
Absolutely, yeah.
I think that I was such a fan of that show,
being on it, it's strange to be, I don't know,
I guess you should be a fan of your own projects.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
But the way I came to that show was,
I was just asked by the creator, Raphael Bob-Waksberg,
to do a guest role in the pilot, which was Mr. Peanutbutter.
I didn't know anything about the show.
I did not know that it was...
I just knew, like, oh, this is a cartoon for grownups.
I get it.
I think it was the third episode where it ends on a very down note.
And I realized, oh, this is something different than what I thought.
Very, yeah.
And then I was even more thrilled that I was a part of it.
And I would not read the scripts in advance.
I would only read them at the table read so I could kind of be surprised along with,
as the audience would be surprised.
And it was such an exciting thing to be a part of. And so I could kind of be surprised along with, as the audience would be surprised.
And it was such an exciting thing to be a part of and to really get invested in these
stories and to have some of those lines in those scripts were like real gut punches and
real serious life stuff that a lot of it I related to, uh, a lot of it.
I knew people who had experiences like that. And, um, yeah, it, it was, uh, it was quite a ride.
It was quite a ride doing that.
It was, it's, it's, it's a really odd show because it, I think for me, the recipe,
if you've never been to Los Angeles, or never worked
in the entertainment business in Los Angeles, if you combine Bojack Horseman, Modern Family
and Ray Donovan, you have a completely exact picture of what Los Angeles is like to live
and work in.
I feel like that's it.
That's exactly what it's like.
Yeah. Are you a are you a native, uh, was Angelino?
No, I was, uh, born in Philadelphia and I moved to LA in 1994.
That's when I moved to LA.
Oh really?
Well, I went there and then I had to come home for a couple of weeks and then I
went back, so it was 95 technically, I guess, but that's when I...
Okay. So you, so you lie. So it was 95 technically, I guess. But that's when I... Okay. So you lied.
I did. I did lie to you. But that's something I learned in LA.
Now listen, how did the fire thing work out for you? Are you okay?
So far, so good. We've been extremely lucky. We have just been here at home with suitcases
by the door. We are in the pink zone,
which sounds like it's a marker on the Kinsey scale,
but we are so far, we have not,
so we're like sort of,
the danger is at a distance, but could get closer,
so we're just ready to go at any time, but it's been-
I feel like that happened a few times.
I mean, nothing like is going on right now, but I don't live in LA anymore.
But when I left there, there was a few times where we had, we're doing exactly that.
Suitcases by the door, kids in pajamas, sleepy in the car and all that.
I mean, it was, it's a scary thing.
But I think with this fire, this one, it feels like a real kind of game changer, this one
though, doesn't it?
I mean, these fires, it's a really different thing.
I would like to believe that it is a game changer, but my sort of demoralized feeling
is that it won't be a game changer.
It should be.
And, you know, it should be a big wake up call to a lot.
You know what, not even a wake up call,
but it should be a signal that we need to talk about
what is going on with our environment
and what we're doing about it.
And it's a little distressing to see the press conferences
and just no mention of climate change at all.
And that is, I mean, there's no way around
that that's a huge factor.
And like we are an area that has a fire season, you know?
And the fact that it's getting worse and worse.
And to this point combined, the fire combined
with the winds is, you know, it's, it's bad and getting worse.
And I don't know.
And I think that there's some deniable about climate change.
I don't think any serious person would deny that the climate change is,
is something that we're facing.
I think though, what I meant as well for, in the terms of game changer,
cause like you, I'm kind of cynical.
It will be, you know, a game changer on a global or even a national scale. But I think in terms of Los Angeles itself,
it feels like a real gut punch. I mean, like, you know, first the pandemic and then the actor
strike and the writer's strike and the labor disputes and then this. I mean, and then the advent of streaming
and the way the industry is changing anyway.
It really seems like I have no map for this.
I don't know where it goes now.
It's too many things at the same time.
It's too many things.
And I think we're gonna see a lot of people leaving LA,
which happens every once in a while
in the wake of these big disasters.
There's people that just decide, I can't be here anymore.
It's just too scary.
And in terms of the business itself,
I mean, I don't know what's gonna happen
because nothing shoots here anymore.
And that would be a huge revitalization of the town.
But I just, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
It doesn't, it seems to me, I was just going to say, it seems like there's not enough people
that are interested in fixing those things because it is cheaper for them not to fix them.
I think that's true of like the corporate overlords.
And I think it's true of the, what I kind of think is, and I think like you,
you and I have worked, apart from me lying about 1995, we worked in LA about
the same amount of time.
About the same amount of time.
And of course you, you, you, you don't always interact with big stars. You're talking, you know,
props guys and carpenters and grips and lighting people and people who it's a middle class, just
it's a kind of working Joe job. It's not a Joe job, but it's professional people, but they're
super wealthy. You know, it's just, you know, it's just a qualified job, like
working in any other kind of factory.
Yeah.
And I think these are the people that are going to like, what the hell do you do?
Yeah.
When they change it like that.
I know.
And people think that, I think a lot of people outside of LA think that everybody
here is just the people that you see on the covers of magazines, you know?
And it's not what it is.
There's a lot of people that have, you know,
been here for generations that, you know,
bought their houses when they were, you know,
very cheap years and years ago.
And, you know, now that's not there anymore.
And the work's not there anymore.
And, you know, I've worked on things that shot in Atlanta
or Vancouver or whatever, and you have people from LA
that crew people that moved there to these places
because there was more work there than where they lived.
And the thing that really sucks is that
the people that are involved in these,
that are overseeing the networks,
the studios and everything,
it's not the days of the Zanuck brothers
and the Warner brothers anymore.
You don't have people that sort of take a pride
in that business and they were businessmen,
but it was their business.
And so there was still room for artistry.
There was no algorithm.
They like, it wasn't a bottom line thing.
It was, this is our business of making these things.
We are trying to guess what people like,
what people, you know, what is quality, put it out there.
And now it really is these dudes that come in
from, you know, different businesses that are looking at it
like, well, we'll cut this, this, this, and this. And it's like, that's the whole...
That's what makes it good. All the things that you're getting rid of is what makes it good.
Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight
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Snakes, zombies, sharks, heights, speaking in public, The list of fears is endless.
But while you're clutching your blanket in the dark, wondering if that sound in the
hall was actually a footstep, the real danger is in your hand, when you're behind the
wheel.
And while you might think a great white shark is scary, what's really terrifying and even
deadly is distracted driving.
Eyes forward, don't drive distracted.
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Join me on the Ghost Therapy podcast.
Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered.
I'm a little nervous.
I'm excited, I'm excited nervous.
You know, I'm a very spiritual person,
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That was amazing.
I feel so grateful right now.
I got to speak to my great-grandmother,
my Abuela, and she gave me a lot of
really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about.
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I think though that, you know, if I look at the generations of young artists that are coming up now,
I don't think that Hollywood is aspirational for them in the way that it was perhaps for
my generation.
That, you know, I would see the black and white photographs of movie stars that have
been airbrushed to perfection and that this, you know, that the swindle and the myth that
was sold by Hollywood, which I liked, which I wanted, You know, I liked the artifice of it.
And then when I got there, I don't know if you had the same experience, when I
got there and it was demystified, slowly it was demystified.
Cause I, even to this day, I haven't done it for a few years, but when you drive
onto a lot and the bar goes up and you drive onto a movie lot and you see the
spaceman and the cowboy and the showgirls
and the, you know, and it's like, ah, this is awesome.
I think all of that goes away now.
I think that it's, and it's, I think, I mean, you have young children or your kids a little older?
I have zero children.
Oh, you have zero children.
Well, then, then will you leave?
You can leave then. I could, but this is, this is our home, you have zero children. Well, then, then will you leave? You can leave that.
I could, but this is, this is our home, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
We, we love it here.
My wife and I, and we've, we've lived here for a long time and you know, it's, it, you
realize in the wake of these things, what a, what a real community exists in Los Angeles
and that it's not even what we pretend that it is
a lot of the time.
It really is like, it's a city like anywhere else
and people care about each other and people are helping out
and as many horror stories you hear about landlords
raising rental prices 8,000% and looters and stuff like that.
Most of what you see is people coming together and helping each other out,
donating stuff and money and time.
And it's a really heartwarming thing to see.
You know, it's funny that you should mention that I was watching coverage
of it on the BBC last night and the reporter was out in the field and bumped into someone who was working the
line handed out water people and it was Will Arnett, Bojack Horseman himself.
And it was, I just, I heard the voice.
I was like, Whoa.
And it's, it's as you say, because I remember when I moved to LA in the
nineties, it kind of had it, it seems weird to say it because I remember when I moved to LA in the 90s, it kind of had a,
it seems weird to say it because it was still a huge city then, but it had a kind of sleepy feel about it.
It had a kind of, oh, I remember it very well.
I think it went away when, when they invented iPhones or something, but I don't
know, like it changed when people could, you know, drive as close as they could
to the Hollywood sign,
or when the maps of the stars homes were on your phone instead of being sold to you
by some dodgy customer at the side of the road waving a map and stuff.
And I kind of miss all of that, but you know, things do change.
What is it done for you business wise? Do you, I mean, do you still follow the model of, you know, developing, taking an idea to,
I'll tell you where I'm going with this.
If I have an idea now, I don't go to anyone who works in show business.
I go to someone who will give me money and then I just do it myself.
The last vestige of corporate shittiness in my life at the moment is
doing this podcast and, and my contract's up for that in six months and then, and
then these guys can kiss my ass and, and, and I am continuing to do the podcast,
but I don't need them.
I have a computer.
Yeah.
That's right.
Exactly.
Um, what, what about you? I mean, are you gonna...
It's a mixture of still trying to go through the old channels,
but also figuring out how to do stuff by yourself.
And the double-edged sword of that is that,
on the one hand, it's never been easier to do stuff by yourself
in terms of the technology, which is fantastic.
And one of the things that I really love
about the time that we're living in
is that people can make their thing,
whether it's a movie, TV show, podcast, whatever,
people can figure out a way to make it.
Getting it out to people is easier than it used to be, but there's so much noise that
it's a scary prospect to sink your life savings into your passion project and then have nothing
happen, have nobody find it, you know? So for me and the people that I know
at the sort of showbiz level that I'm at,
there is still like a pressure to go,
try to go through the old channels and see what happens,
but it's harder than ever because even though
it's the curse of there's so many outlets now,
but because there's so many outlets now, but because there's so many outlets now,
to try to stand out, to try to get,
to cut through all that noise is harder than ever
because there's so much shit.
It's so much.
And now when you're, it used to be you could pitch an idea
and they either liked it or it didn't.
Now before you even pitch the idea,
it's like you have to attach these people.
You have to attach this guy, you have to attach.
And it's like, this is not even a thing yet. It's not a thing yet. And we're attaching all
these people on a wish and a prayer and you know, who moves a needle, you know, all this shit.
And it's like, look, man, I thought this was a funny idea.
Yeah. It's the, it's the weirdest thing about it though, because there's a story that a friend of mine who is a big old timey, you know, he's John Feldheimer.
He started and runs Lionsgate, right?
And Feldheimer is a friend of mine and, and he was telling me about back in the
day when they were selling NGM to Sony, I think it was Sony, is that right?
Um, and they had to go to Japan and everything was done through, you know,
board level meetings through interpreters and stuff.
And they were talking to some high-powered Japanese executives
through an interpreter and they were asking
about the film business.
And the Japanese executive said,
tell us basically the product in a year.
He said, well, look, a studio like MGM,
we'll make maybe 40 movies in a year. They said, well, look, you know, a studio like MGM will make maybe 40 movies in a year
and you know, 20 will do okay.
You know, maybe five of them will be hits and the rest will be kind of like, you know,
well, we tried and we failed.
And they were kind of duds.
And it went through the temperature. The temperature came back after some, and he said,
my colleague says,
could you possibly just make the hits?
Yeah, that would be great if we could just make the hits.
It's a terrific idea.
I know it's a great elute, but I think that that kind of, because unless you're in show
business, I'm not ever like, look, John Feldheimer is a great executive, but he's still show
business.
He's still, you know, he's, he's still that guy.
And, and I think that, you know, the, these kinds of guys are going away and like you
say, people are coming in who are, who
are like, I don't know what your qualifications are for this other than you went to school.
I mean, school's not a great place for artists a lot of the time.
Very true.
It can slow them down.
You know what idea of yours I love is when you do that podcast, uh, when you
were HG Wells. Oh, the dead authors podcast. Yeah. Dead authors podcast. When you were
HG Wells and going through time interviewing dead authors. See, I love that. Now, did you
in that podcast, did you ever have HG Wells talk to, um, CS Lewis. I don't think we ever had CS Lewis.
Interesting.
Yeah, we had, I think Tolkien was as close as we got to CS Lewis.
And CS Lewis were friends, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because what I think is interesting is that I believe I could be wrong with this,
but it doesn't matter if I'm wrong.
Nobody checks any shit anyway, but the, yeah.
So let's just say this is a hundred percent true and we don't need to check it,
but HG Wells and CS Lewis were certainly collegiate.
They were friendly.
And I've always been fascinated by that because HG Wells of course, was a
committed atheist and, and, and a bit of a communist, I think even.
I believe so, yeah.
And C.S. Lewis, of course, was a absolute Anglican baby Jesus,
all the bells and whistles, the smoke and the angels and both terrific writers, by the way,
as well, which I think is fascinating to me.
I've read both of them at great length and love them both. Are you a big reader? Is that what you started the poet? Why you started it?
Well, you know, I am a big reader. And for the LA chapter, they were doing this, the dead author's thing was something they
had done every once in a while.
There was not a dedicated host for it, but it was an event they would do every once in
a while.
And I was approached to host one and thought, oh, it'd be funny to be HG Wells and then
interview people from two different time periods.
And I enjoyed the experience so much that I asked them, Hey, could I do a podcast with
this and we'll, we'll do a live show and all the proceeds will go to a two six. And it was a really enjoyable project because I got to,
it made me learn about other authors
that I did not know much about.
Like about their personal lives and careers
and things like that.
And it also, it tested my interview skills
because I had to, it was a very specific thing where I had to be the
host, keep it moving, but I also had to set the people up so they could be funny.
So the questions were all, I would tell people, you don't have to do any research about your
author.
It is just, I'm going to ask you a question and because it's improv, you respond however
you want.
You're welcome to do research if you want, you don't have to.
And some people did extensive research and some people did nothing at all.
And the idea was I would ask a question that did not have to be tied to facts.
I could state the fact in 1876, you said this or whatever, and then they could be funny respond however they wanted so it was a combination of
Getting the the real information out via my questions
Right and then the comedy coming from what they have to say and then our subsequent interaction about that
Who was both author and and guest who kind of like really?
Kind of lit it up for you?
Who you think you were more successful with?
The one that comes back to me the most is, in terms of being a very special experience,
was Lennon Parham played, oh, why am I blanking on the name now?
Shit!
Dead with the book, dead with the book. I'm trying to think of, I can't think of the book. I'm blanking on the name now? Shit. Dead with the book, dead with the book.
I'm trying to think of that.
I can't think of the book.
I'm blanking.
It was a Southern author.
Harper Lee, Margaret Mitchell.
Not Harper Lee, Margaret Mitchell.
Can I cheat and look it up?
Yeah, of course.
All right, hate to do this.
No, people complain about it.
In the meantime, I'll put the podcast on hold music.
No, people complain about in the meantime. I'll put the podcast on hold music
It's generic and your music I'm doing right now
Flannery O'Connor, okay
Connor and her her And her, her, um, uh, uh, performance is-
And nothing about Flannery O'Connor, by the way.
Nothing.
Nor did I.
Nor did I.
And her performance was, it was really, I felt like I was sitting with a real person.
She made it, she played it so perfectly like, and didn't, she didn't know anything about
Flannery O'Connor either, but she played it so comfortably that I felt like
this is becoming real now.
Like this has stopped becoming goof around
and this is becoming real.
She did such an incredible job.
Like the thing I remember the most is she at one point said,
she was talking about these specific birds.
I think it might've been peacocks where she lived.
And she was like, and they had a very specific call.
And then she did the peacock call.
It was like, it really, I get chills thinking about it
because it really, she just embodied this person so well.
It was a really wonderful moment.
I love when, it's like close up magic that
when you see something like that.
What I had on the late night show, Barry Humphreys came on as Dame Edna Everett.
Oh wow.
And that was weird because I knew Barry from not being Dame Edna Everett.
I knew him from off stage.
So when he came on, I thought, well, you know, this will be a nod and a wink and funny,
and it'll be Barry wearing her dress.
But it wasn't.
And it was really strange and kind of, it was like he's possessed or something.
Absolutely.
It was really a wonderful thing.
Those character people that that's their thing.
It is astonishing how,
the thing that always gets me is
how well they remember the rules of their own character.
That this is what makes this person this person
and not just me.
Like, you know, there's not a ton of winking.
It's like, I'm being funny being this person.
I'm not like, you know, Barry Humphries is not saying like,
it's isn't it funny it's me to dress, you know, it's, it's, it's totally, you feel
like this is a three dimensional person. That stuff, I marvel at that stuff. It's beautiful.
I think that the Madea movies are a bit like that as well. Like, oh my God, I didn't know
that was a dude for ages.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Yeah.
I'm like, wow.
It's like when you find out like somebody you really like in a show is actually British,
that happens a lot.
Absolutely.
Did you watch Yellowstone?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beth Dutton.
I'm like, wait, Beth Dutton's from England?
That doesn't make any sense at all to me.
The skill of the actress, I mean, is amazing.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because especially when you're doing an accent like that,
it's not about just making the sounds right.
There is a certain, you have to really,
there's a physicality to it.
There's a timing to it that's more than just,
I pronounce ours this way, you know?
You really have to be at home.
If I'm doing it, it's just I pronounce ours this way.
That's how you're gonna get.
That's not, maybe I wear a hat, maybe I don't wear a hat.
I might, okay, but I'm not gonna be working out
or anything like that, that's not gonna happen.
But I saw it, I mean, the way like Tyler Perry does it I'm not going to be working out or anything like that. That's not going to happen.
But I saw it.
I mean, the way like Tyler Perry does it, or the way Barry Umbridge does it,
or even like the guys who do the Marvel movies.
Like I heard, I think it was on Graham Norton's talk show,
Henry Cavill talking about when he had some Superman scenes,
he had to not drink water for a few days,
because it would make his veins pop.
I'm like, fuck me man, get up.
It's acting.
It's get someone to draw it on you.
Come on.
It's also like you're already shredded.
I know.
You know what I mean?
You're already there.
I know.
Who's clocking the veins?
Yeah.
I know. Who's clocking the veins?
Yeah.
I, although I have to say, I'm very intrigued by the idea of Ozempic.
I haven't gone there yet, but I worry about my weight and I think,
hmm, is that a way to go?
But having struggled so much to get away from drugs that things for me,
I'm not in a huge hurry to go, I know it will happen at some point.
Do you know what I mean?
At some point, I'm going to have to take something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, I don't want to rush into it.
Would you ever do that?
What about plastic surgery?
You got to do that?
Oh, I don't think I ever would.
I mean, no shame on people who do.
It's like, do what you feel you need to do.
But I feel like I've, and it's not like I'm thrilled
with every aspect of my body and face,
but there is a certain, there's a certain piece that you,
an uneasy piece that you make with, you know,
the aspects of yourself that you're not thrilled with
that I don't know, it just feels, I never got braces, you know, I feel like it's, this
is, this is who I am and I wish-
I might get my testicles done. I might get my testicles done. I might, I might just start
with-
Like smooth them out?
Smooth them out. Yeah. I mean, see what, because even if they botch it, if it becomes a terrible
job, it's still your testicles.
I mean, they're kind of weird and creepy looking anyway, at least mine are.
So I don't think it's going to be a huge change.
It's more a thing you do for yourself.
Maybe I should try and get ozempig on my testicles.
Well, you could just do steroids. Is that what happens?
Yeah.
But I see, I like the idea of steroids if they give you muscles, but I heard they make
you very angry.
I don't need to be any angrier than I am.
I feel that 100%.
I'm at my max level of rage right now.
I, all the time.
And it's what people don't understand about comedy.
It's like, when I hear a joke, sometimes I'll hear a joke or my wife hears a joke
and go, oh, the rage in that joke is so funny.
It's so, and you know what I'm talking about, right?
Absolutely.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
And it's because the absolute darkest motherfuckers I ever met in Hollywood are
the people who write or construct or perform romantic comedies.
Those are the... those people are the...
And the people who make horror movies are adorable.
They're adorable.
Yeah, the romantic comedy, the idea that...
People are essentially saying like,
isn't it funny that people think this could happen?
That you could fall in love.
You could find somebody that would love you.
Isn't that hilarious?
I'd go to the Empire State Building,
I'd run through the airport.
Who the fuck's running through the airport?
You can't run through the airport.
That's ridiculous.
I'd run through the airport, stop in the plane.
You fucking get tased if you try and stop in a plane.
It's ridiculous.
Could you imagine being on a plane that somebody stopped because of love?
I don't care how much in love you are.
I want to get to Denver.
I have a connection.
This is miserable.
You're making it longer.
You know, I think about that, you know, obviously I'm sure you do the same.
I travel a lot for work.
I mean, you know, obviously, I'm sure you do the same. I travel a lot for work, constantly on airplanes.
It's rare to see bad behavior on planes, for as far as I can see.
But I see it a lot documented.
Absolutely.
I've never been on a plane where, in all my years of travel, where something crazy has
happened, where someone had to be escorted off the plane, where people had their phones
out, you know.
I don't know why.
I've, you know, knock on wood.
It has not happened yet.
But yeah, it is, I'm sort of surprised that it doesn't happen more
because it's such a stressful environment.
Being on a plane is such a stressful environment.
But I think I have noticed that I did more touring last year, 2024,
than I have in years, maybe ever.
And I was on the road a lot and I was really embracing it
after quarantine and everything.
And it just happened, there were a bunch of gigs.
I had my own tour, I had another person's tour
that I was a part of, another tour that I did with musicians
at the end of the year.
And it was the year that I realized I have been telling myself that I don't enjoy traveling
around and doing all this stuff, but I realized that I actually do.
Even though being on a plane is miserable.
I love the fucking vaudeville of it.
I love going to a different place every day.
I fucking love it.
And I think I tried to tell myself that I didn't.
But goddamn, I realized at a certain point,
when I was a kid, this was all I wanted to do.
This was all I wanted to do.
Like the idea of this going from this place to this place
and doing a show and then packing up and leaving, like, it's awesome.
I fucking love it, man.
I fucking love it.
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Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered.
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Wow, okay.
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["Post-Credit Shows"] Early on in my life when I started performing I don't
know if it was the same for you but I would get very nervous before
performance like really terrified terrifying and now before I go on stage
if I'm in a theater that hopefully I've never played it before but even if I
have played it before there's so many of them and you're backstage and you hear the crowd and you can hear the noise
and you can kind of get a vibe and the lights are coming down and the show is about to happen
and the music, I've been playing the same warm up music for years so that, you know,
the walk-in music is the same and I know what it's going to be.
There's a sense of peace that I get and every night when I walk on, like in the audience, hopefully they applaud.
And just as I watch my hand go to reach for the microphone, just as it was across
that moment there, I fucking live for that moment.
I think it's the craziest thing.
It took me a while to, um, to kind of be, to interpret the different types of
feelings that I would have before a show.
Because there were, when I was younger, there were shows that...
When you know that you are not the right person for this show,
and that you're going to go out there and it's not going to be good.
And that's a certain feeling.
I've done movies like that.
Oh, my...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It is bad.
And I directed the movie.
Yeah.
Then there's that feeling of, and I realized it on the days that I had my own show that
I was doing, that I was putting on, and that day of show is a certain feeling.
And it took me a while to realize the feeling is, I just want it to start.
I just want to be out there. I just want to be doing it. I don't want to be anticipating
this all day. Let me just go. And now realizing that that feeling I have is 99% the feeling
that I have before I go on stage. That that feeling in my stomach is, oh yeah, I just
want to get out there. I just want to get out there and do it. It's not that I'm afraid.
It's not that I'm, I don't know how it's going to go.
It's that I am embracing.
I love being out there and I also am embracing,
I don't know what's going to happen.
I don't know how it's going to go.
And that's exciting.
It's a really, it's a, once I, once I kind of dialed
into that, that that's what what it was then I loved it
I loved that feeling I loved that anticipation and that wrong. Do you get a kick out of that? I
Finally finally have gotten to that point and it took seeing somebody else bombing and
Knowing oh, he thinks this is funny. Like it was a friend of mine that was trying out this character on the show
he was just fucking eating it.
And, but he, you never, you never would have known it.
And I realized knowing the guy that he is like, Oh, this is funny to him.
How badly this is going.
He didn't want it to go badly, but he's enjoying how much he is bombing.
And then I realized, Oh, that can be a thing too.
That could be, Oh, definitely.
Definitely. That was, for me, that can be a thing too. That could be. Oh, definitely. Definitely.
You might as well, right?
Yeah.
For me, that was when late night became something I started to love because I've got there,
especially at the beginning, I'd be writing jokes and I wasn't writing the jokes that,
you know, some guys would be writing in late night for years of writing jokes.
That guy say, hey, you guys see the playoffs?
And I'm like, I really don't know what a playoff is.
I'm like, Hey, you watch the playoffs, how about those Tigers and stuff?
And I, as I could not connect to the joke and therefore could not connect to the
audience, you know, I was bombing and I found a strange thrill in it because,
especially because it was somebody else's joke that was bombing.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Ah, great.
And then I just thought, then it became more interesting to bomb than to for it to work.
Yeah.
And that became the show.
The show became we're making a piece of crap show in a basement that doesn't
really work and here's my discount robot with my buddy doing the voice.
And that was what the show was.
The show was the failure.
And I think that, I think what I see, particularly young performers now, there's some very good
ones around, but everything they do is documented.
You know, and I think that means your failures are up there all the time. And sometimes your failures are much more useful if you can keep
them a little more private.
Absolutely.
You know?
Yeah.
I don't envy people that are coming up now.
Although, I mean, it's the same for most of us now that,
and you can appreciate this, having been doing this for such a long time,
everything has changed in such a short amount of time
from what we thought showbiz was when we got into it.
And now it's like,
I feel like I'm playing catch up with a lot of that stuff,
but younger people have to follow so many things.
I'm lucky enough that I got somewhat established
before a lot of this shit started becoming the norm.
But for somebody that's starting out now,
it has to be second nature to be engaged
with all these social media things.
There's a certain tone that you have to strike
where I've seen it fluctuate from,
you're not supposed to look like you're trying.
No one wants to, you're not supposed to,
you're not supposed to make an effort
because that's not cool.
And now I feel like it's more,
yes, it's acceptable to look like
you care about what you're doing.
But you still have to strike a certain tone. I feel like figuring out your voice is maybe,
I could be wrong, but might be harder today
for younger performers.
I think it's a different language for sure.
I think that also what I don't envy them,
there was a certain amount of cool in being underground.
I think when, certainly when I was young, you know, it was like, you didn't really
want too many people to know what you were doing.
You only wanted cool people to know what you were doing.
Yeah.
I mean, oh, listen, I saw the minute somebody came along and said, will
you do a Lipton's tea commercial?
I'm like, I'm your guy.
somebody came along and said, will you do a Lipton's tea commercial? I'm like, I'm your guy.
But it's not, uh, it felt like it belonged, at least for a short time
that it belonged to us.
And I wonder if, if they get that now.
I mean, maybe they do.
Maybe.
And, and maybe the thing is the young people who are doing that kind of thing.
I don't know who they are because I'm not a young person and they don't want me to think they're cool.
So they're not interested in engaging with me. I don't know.
There is kind of a relief in that sense to be out of that conversation.
It's like when you get to a certain point where you're watching young people do the thing like,
hey man, fucking do it. Do your thing.
Yeah.
You don't need to hear from me. You absolutely don't need to hear from me.
Yeah, no, I have no opinion on it.
And I used to pretend I didn't have an opinion on it
so that I wouldn't get yelled at, but now I just really don't.
I just like, I don't give a fuck.
Fake it till you make it. Absolutely.
It's so funny as well, but because the whole idea, you know, when people
bang on about, oh, you can't say that because of the woke generation and stuff.
I'm like, I've been hearing that my whole fucking life.
There's nothing new about that.
You just made up a new fucking word.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think when comedy, the state of comedy right now
started to erode when people thought,
people started to think comedy was tough or like a tough guy thing.
And it's like, no, it's not.
The idea is you're supposed to be,
we got into this because we're misfits or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Like it was not to, I don't know.
I could just talk about that forever, but nobody wants
to hear that complaining, but it's a really...
Well, you know, it's funny that like comedians now that look like, you know,
models, you know, and I'm like male and female.
I'm like, wow, you guys look great.
Like where's the fat guy with one eye bigger than the other eye?
Cause he's the guy I want to see.
And I suppose I, I don't know.
I mean, it's, it is an interesting thing.
I think along the way.
See, I, the reason I came to comedy is cause I really, it was accepting of me.
It accepted me that I couldn't fit in anywhere else.
But when I hear people now, young people, you know, discuss it as, you know, I,
it's my dream to have a career in comedy.
I'm like, fuck no, it was my dream to do pretty much anything else, but you know,
how people go, hey, but, but then you start tasting it and you realize how awesome it is and how great it is.
And I'm glad I wouldn't do anything else, but it is an odd thing that it became so incorporated.
I blame Netflix a bit for it, actually.
And I've made a couple of specials for them, but they are the fucking devil.
I mean, you know, they're big, you know, like make it all one thing and you,
you, oh, fuck no, it's all. Although if they offer me 20 million for a special, I'll be like,
oh, we better go back and find that podcast with Paul F. Cunck and cut that out when I said they
were the fucking devil. But they fucking are the devil. Fuck them. Yeah. I have no problem agreeing to that.
They kind of are.
You know, like I'll tell you how much sense the fucking algorithm thing is.
I was looking for an airline ticket today, right?
It's done the same way as fucking, you know, modern streaming techniques.
So you first look at it and the ticket price was $12,000.
It was a complicated trip.
$12,000. And through, complicated trip. $12,000.
And through, it wasn't me that did it,
it was Tomas that did it.
But just going in, going a different way,
doing a different thing, and putting in one layover,
which is not that big a deal, it went down to $6,000.
See, and actually the class went up.
That's how smart fucking AI
By it no, yeah the whole AI thing that the idea that it's
Not doing anything other than just like scraping shit, it's not it's not there's not it's not as sophisticated as
scraping shit. It's not, it's not, there's not, it's not as sophisticated as, as I think that we are told it is and as we are afraid it's going to be. The problem is people using
it. It's not really the Ithiac itself. It's that this is making shit worse. Like you can't,
you can't use Google anymore. Because it's so shitty.
Yeah. And you talk about, you talk about about fucking green, the green effect as well.
You talk about planning the amount of power that shit needs.
I mean, you know, AI companies are talking about building their own nuclear reactors
so they can fuel these things.
I mean, it's insane.
Yeah.
And then, but the idea of the AI, you know when people have these,
I think it's like, you remember back in the day in the back of comic books,
you would see that thing was the X-ray specs.
Absolutely.
I think they're X-ray specs, you know, it's like, oh shut up.
I tried getting chat GPT write me some stand-up.
Oh, I did that too.
I tried to chatGPT, write some sketches,
and I would give the premise and everything,
and then a funny thing, I performed on stage.
The thing that was so interesting to me was,
all the sketches resolved with the people being friends.
Like that was the ending was,
somehow through their differences,
they found a common understanding. And it's like, what's that robot?
Fuck that robot. That's not funny, robot. That's not funny, robot.
I love that though. I said to it, hey, Chad GBD, write me a short Craig Ferguson standup comedy routine.
It was some bullshit about, hey, aren't giraffes funny looking when they drink water and stuff.
And I was all angry at it.
I was thinking this is bullshit.
And then I thought, you know, there might be something in this though.
But it's going to need a major rewrite.
And it's going to need to go out.
I mean, I'm going to need to get the robot.
You're fired.
We're keeping the idea of the giraffe thing.
And maybe it's something that maybe there's not, but it is, it is an odd business.
I've fascinated though, because I think it will change.
I think the AI will change and expand.
And I think it will at a certain point.
Cause I remember when I started out as a drummer and I was like, drum machines
will never replace drummers.
Right.
It's the first fucking thing to go.
And I, I don't know.
Drumming is so much, you have so much shit that you have to, that you have to
assemble and I remember, um, being on, being on tour this year and, and, um, you
know, I, I tour with a, um, I do a variety show and I have a year and you know, I tour with a,
I do a variety show and I have a band and early on,
you know, I, everybody was packing up the shit
after the show and our drummer Darla,
I turned to my musical director and said,
should we help Darla with that stuff?
And he said, she made her choice.
That's how that's everybody else in the band looks at drummers.
It is a bad, I used to hate it when you were playing and everyone would be like, going to the bar and meeting all the kids that were in the club.
And I'd be like, putting symbols in the big case and it's horrible.
putting symbols in the big case and it's horrible. But, and also, but the thing is the great thing about being a comedian is you, you just
leave.
Yeah.
You just leave.
It's true.
I get this, I get under this for a while that I would leave before the audience.
So I'd be like, good night everybody.
And I would have the stage door open as he's running straight out of the car.
Absolutely.
Mr. Ferguson has left the building.
That's right.
But nowadays part of the thing, I don't know if you're doing this, you do the
meet and greets though.
Yeah, I'll do them.
Yeah.
And actually I love it.
Yeah.
It's a really, I love it.
I just love it.
Here's the thing.
I dread it every time.
And then after it's over, I think that was absolutely wonderful.
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel.
You meet people and you know, sometimes you hear some stories that are really hard to hear, but...
Absolutely.
It's a level of connection with the audience I was surprised about.
Yeah, it's a really wonderful thing to...
It's very humbling to hear somebody say, you know,
what you do has helped me in some way, has helped me through a bad time or something like that.
But it's also, there's a connection there in terms of what you both find funny,
the way that you look at the world, like you're meeting people who came to you for a reason.
And you just have that moment of communion with them that maybe only lasts a few minutes, but
it's a really wonderful thing to just, because it makes us both more human to each other, you know?
I think that's right. And the mistake that I made early on with it as well,
is that people would say things like,
when you were on late night, I was very sick,
or my parent was ill or something,
and then they would say it helped me out.
And I would, and I regret it now.
I would say, oh, no, it wasn't me.
You did it, or it's not due to me.
But now I feel that that's unfair
because it kind of diminishes it for them.
And so if somebody says that to me, I'm like, I'm really glad that happened.
I'm really glad that somehow, obviously I wasn't aware your mom was sick or you were
sick, but I'm glad you had a laugh.
I'm glad you had a laugh tonight.
You know what I mean?
That's what it's about.
And thank you for sharing that with me, you know, because it is very...
Because you know what it feels like.
You've been in a dark time where a piece of art helped you cope, you know, just helped you...
Just gave you a moment where you're like, okay, I can do this another day.
I can, you know, there is brightness out there somewhere.
I just have to trust that I'm going to get to it.
Like, you know that feeling.
And to be that for somebody else
and to have them tell you is such a privilege.
It is. You're right.
Yeah, it's incredible.
It is. And it's kind of, it's one of the great things about,
I mean, I'm not happy about all the barriers breaking down between the performing the audience.
I think that, you know, I kind of used to like the idea that there
was a kind of artists entrance, but I think that's one of the really good parts of it.
Yeah, for sure.
You know, I mean, the bad part is that everybody's a fucking expert now.
And you know, when you get some fucking guys in a chat room saying,
that's not comedy.
Oh, shut the fuck up, get a job.
You know what I mean?
It's like, what are you?
It's like, fuck you.
And that kind of annoys me a little bit,
but I think I might just be getting older and crankier.
That may just be that simple. Have you found yourself getting a little crankier?
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I get it. Now I get old people.
I get it now. It's like you've lived a long time. A lot of this shit you've heard before.
You get less patient with certain things. You get more patient with other things though,
which is really wonderful.
True story. That is true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I made that decision about the aging process this very day, actually.
Is that I've decided, I made it this...
Because I've been thinking about it.
A lot of people have been watching this podcast.
I'm sure a sicker hear me talking about, oh, I'm getting older and I'm thinking about things.
But now I've reached a complete new feeling about it, which is this.
I'm fucking ignoring it.
I'm ignoring it until it makes its presence felt.
And until that time, it's not in my fucking business.
You know, I'm older.
So is everybody else.
Everybody else is fucking older too.
What am I going to do about it?
You know, so until my hip starts hurting or my ears get super big or whatever it is,
you know, I'm just probably gonna ignore it.
You take it as it comes, you take it as it comes.
One thing I do appreciate in a way that I,
and it's funny to me, is when I was younger
and I would hear older people talking about the weather,
and I would think, what the fuck?
Why this boring conversation that you're having about
what a nice day it is?
And now I get it because it's like, I'm here another day.
I'm appreciating things in a way
that I couldn't appreciate them before.
And seeing how beautiful life is.
And part of that is, it's a nice day today.
You know? And it's, it's, I get how
enjoyable it is now to discuss that with somebody else.
I also, I also think that, you know, if it's a nice day, you're much less likely to slip
and fall and hurt your head.
It's very true.
So it's like, it's a nice day. I think I'll go outside. It's not too risky.
A thing that I think about a lot is,
I probably think about this once a day.
When is the next time I'm going to fall?
Like when's the next time I'm going to trip and just eat shit, just go right down?
When's the next time I'm going to like scrape the shit out of my knee on the sidewalk?
Because it's going to happen at some point.
But when is it going to be? Well, do you ski? I do not ski. If you put a ski in there, you'll be
like ramped it up. I think I avoid most activities that require falling as a part of the learning process. So we'll see. I never skied until I was in my mid forties,
but I married into a family of skiers
and now my children ski and I have to go on
with really tiny little kids on that conveyor belt,
like toddlers, and then there's me,
so I'm gonna giant creeper with skin.
I have to go up the thing and do pizza french fries my skis very very humiliate.
Wait what's pizza french fries what?
Well that's how you learn the ski. You do pizza, it's how you slow down.
And then french fries is when you're going fast.
You want to slow down? Pizza. Go fast french fries.
That's how they tell it to little kids.
Normally if anyone is on a ski slope and they're 60 fucking two,
they either know what they're doing or they're drunk or sometimes both.
True.
But it is what it is.
Well, look, it's been a delight talking to you.
I wish we could go longer, but I'm getting too old for this shit.
Yeah, understood.
This is one of those times where you feel it.
Yeah, I do.
I feel it in my head and my water.
And it's so it's such a nice day.
I want to go outside and enjoy it.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Listen, stay well in Los Angeles, Paul.
I thank you.
Success.
And, and I thank you so much for being on the podcast.
You are indeed a joy.
You bring so much to others and certainly to me
I remain a fan. No, that's very kind of mr. Peanut butter
but you know, that's a component part of my
Regard for you is that?
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