Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig Ferguson - Texas Coffee Time Chat

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Craig is on the road in Texas and that's where you will find him this week for some more coffee time and him answering all your burning questions.  Shout out to Jacob and Austin at Elm Street Tattoo shop www.elmstreettattoo.com for giving Craig and KT their tattoos.  Check them out.  Austin Gervais @austingervaistattoo Jacob Young @jacobyoungtattoo  Have a question for Craig? Drop him an email at [e-mail], send him a message on social media, or drop a comment below. Craig is also on the road. Dates and tickets can be found here https://www.thecraigfergusonshow.com/tour

This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, actually, it's about an hour and a half, and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, come and see me live on the Pants on Fire Tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond.

For a full list of dates, go to the Craigfergersonshow.com. See you on the road, my dears. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Joy Podcast. I'm your host, Podcasts, Craig Ferguson. Coming to you today, any of you who are regulars on on this journey that I'm on, will know that, or have followed the podcast recently, will know that I've been very, very busy.

I've been all over the world. I have not been able to book guests because, I don't like doing the Zooms, and, excuse me, I don't like doing the Zums. And, well, we'll do them occasionally. But I spent so much my life having meetings on Zooms and stuff like that. So I don't really like doing a podcast on the Zoom. So until I can do a in-person podcast again, what I've been doing is accepting tweets and emails. And this again today is tweets and emails segment of the podcast.

in the podcast when it's the tweaks and emails. You tweet me questions in the form of an email or I don't think tweets exist anymore or Twix. I think we're called that or or you can post it on the social medias on the

stuff and I think the Craig Ferguson Show.com is where you can go. Anyway, look you ask me a question and I'll answer the question to the best of my ability is basically the podcast is you're the guest on the podcast and you're sort of interviewing me because you're asking the questions but at the same

time I'm sort of interviewing you because you're on my podcast anyway that's what it is and so today in the podcast I don't actually can tell out the window here it's night time here in Dallas Texas I'm in Dallas Texas because of the job I'm working on it and it's night time here because More a morning. Last week I was in Los Angeles. Week before that was in London. A week before that, I was in New York. Anyway, I'm in Dallas, Texas today or tonight. As you can see, really like cowboys and, you know, hats and oil and stuff. And I'm having a lovely time, but I'm very busy. And next week I'll be, I think, in Phoenix, Arizona. I don't know. I'm very busy. And so I want to just keep in touch. So let's have something. start with your questions. Dallas, Texas, by the way, what a time. I'm having... I had Dave off today, actually. And I got

a little tattoo. I got a little additional cactus. A little cactus there? Looks like some. I look forward to your support and things, telling me what it really looks like. But it was passive aggressive, wasn't I? So seeing with me these days, apparently. Anyway, let's me look at my... I've got my

computer here. This is a computer. I'm good I've got your emails and tweets This is from Ahmed El Tali He says Are you a hat guy I used to wear a trilby

Because I love Leonard Cohen That's no reason to wear a trilby I also love Leonard Cohen I'd never wear a trilby Letter Cohen is a genius Canadian French Canadian Ah jeious dark

Twisting But also beautiful And poetic just a lovely writer of song and lyrics Leonard Cohen's lyrics um

fantastic I know like I'm the first person to say that but as much as I admire Leonard Cohen I wouldn't wear a trilley because there's only one person that ever really gets away with wearing a trolley two people that get away with wearing a trollby Leonard Cohen and a little

monkey. Little monkeys can wear trillies because they look adorable in them. But that's about it. And unless you're a little monkey, I suspect you're not with your sending emails and stuff, because I've never had, as clever as monkeys are, I do not

believe that they could. It's an interesting proposition, actually. I do not believe a monkey could use a computer to send out a tweet or an email. You know, when they say that thing, 400 monkeys working for 200 years or something, we'd be able to write

Shakespeare's Hamlet. That's insane. One monkey can't work a tightbrichter, or was it a fun monkey using a tightbrichter for, I don't know, whatever it is. Any, it's nonsense. It's just utter nonsense. But life is full of much of nonsense,

but not you in Texas, where I'm enjoying myself. So he says, I looked, so I haven't said, I used to go in a trilogy because I love Leonard Cohen. Is that like going weird? Or am I having a stroke? We'll keep going and we'll find out. It's the light,

isn't it? I don't know. Anyway, is it doing every time I look away, or am I getting it? I don't know what it. It's probably not even showing up in the computer. Anyway, and certainly if you're just listening to this, then you wouldn't have a clue what I'm talking about, but I suppose that's nothing near. So, Avid asked, am I a hat guy? Because he used to

wear Trilby because he loves Leonard Cohen and I shamed him for that and write me some. And Amid says, I look nothing like a Leonard Coy and my friends made fun at me and I stopped wearing it. Well, that's a true friend. A true friend if you wear a Trilby, will

mock you until you stop wearing the trilby. You mustn't wear trilbies everybody. And I say that as your friend. That light is definitely flickering. There's a light's flickering and it's kind of annoying me. Stay right there and what I'm going to do, so I'm gonna go over there and I think I'll turn it off which it could get a little darker in the air

but at my age that's no bad thing hold out so I'm trying to go in the air I'm turning up the light and you know what that's actually better isn't I think we're out getting to know each other a little better I turned down the lights at least it wouldn't be flickery anymore

and I can still read the screens because you know they lay up Anyway, Leonard Cohen and Trilbees. Now, am I a hat guy? That was an answer to a reasonable question. And the answer is, surprisingly, yes. Yes, I am a hand guy, but only recently. In fact, yesterday, I went to a store in Dallas, Texas, called Wild Bills.

And in Wild Bills, where the people are just, oh my goodness, the people ain't are so nice. And they were just so lovely in Wild Bills. And I got myself a Stetson hat. I got a hat and it got branded by Wild Bill's son or grandson, I'm not sure. John, he branded, lovely man, he put a little cactus brand on my hat. I like the cactus so much, I got a little extra cactus on my wrist. And I'll tell you the story about that in a minute. But he branded my hat, John.

He joins the son or grandson of the original Wild Bill who started this westernware store in Dallas. Listen, Wild Bill was a bit of a legend. He was on the original Dallas TV show a few times, and I think he's been on Yellowstone. He's a lovely... And John, his son or grandson, I think son, where he is in the store,

and he wears a six-year-runs hit. And I was like, well, it's a pretext. But that never came up. Anyway, he said, do you want your half-branded? He didn't say it in that accent, but I have learned as a Scotsman because everywhere in the world, if you're Scottish, thinks they can do, you know, no matter of where you go, people think that they can do your accent as well as you can, and then to show their friendliness to you, they will do your accent to you. Sometimes people do that. And I feel people in the South, Texas and other places, they suffer from the same thing that people think that they can do their accent. people come up and say oh you're from the south how did leong dong dong dong dong uh honey boom but um or you know if you're from

scotland they oh shrek farty donkey um but i got my hat branded with a little cactus on it and i was with my friend my friend katie tunstall now some of you may know katie tunstall from being a rock star and it's interesting because katie is a rock star and sometimes when she behaves very well, I say, ah, you're a rock star there, and she also is. Anyway, we got hats and they got branded with a little cactus, and I said to John,

hey, you don't want, John, brand me with the Brandon Iron, brand me with it. And he's like, no. I was like, yeah, come on, take that little Brandon Iron, brand me in the ass. And he's like, no, I'm not doing it. And he wouldn't do it. And I'm gratefully he didn't, because I was just

pretending. And But he did brand my hat. He put a little cactus sign on my hat, which is just fabulous. It's in my truck, so I can't show it to you all the way, because I'm in my hotel room, but my truck's part outside and so my hat's in it.

It's a long story. But I thought I do like that cactus. And Katie and I were doing some work here in Texas, and we thought, oh, it'd be nice if maybe we'll get cactus tattoos while we're here, because she's got a few tattoos and I've got a few tattoos and so we went to a tattoo store today

and oh man I forgot the name of it Jacob was the tattoo artist who did me and I can't remember the name of the store and I'm really sorry but anyway it was fabulous maybe I'll put it on the website or something later someday I'll put it up but

or we'll put it on the social media or something but they were great and Jacob gave me a little cactus tattoo and Katie got a little cactus tattoo is adorable because we're friends the other cactus is different to mind but I looked up the symbolism for cacti

and the spiritual significance of them and I liked it I liked what it said it was you know it's about survival and resources and adaptability and strength and being able to you know suck up a little water I suppose which I'm trying to do it because I'll get on

to why in a minute that's my goodness excuse me and so we got tattoos and that's why so I am a hat guy that's what I was answering the question

I am a high guy now because I have a stets in her so if you guys are looking for me in Texas I'll be the one wearing the cowboy hat now now you'll know where's Craig and then you'll see

a guy wearing a cowboy hat and you'll be like oh it's Craig and come and say hi come and see oh in fact and what to do is If you're in Texas and you see someone wearing a cowboy hat, you'll know it's me, so you'll be able to come over and say, Oh, Shrek farty donkey, Drake, Drake, and we'll last. That'll be flown.

Anyway, I'll get out of the tweets and emails. You know what else I did, by the way, while I was here? I will get back to your tweets and emails, but I want to tell you about my trip to Texas a little bit. I went to the Texas State Fair, which is amazing. And it's the biggest state fair in the world, which are obviously. in Texas so there would be but the Texas State Fair is at the Texas State Fair I went to the rodeo I went to the rodeo at the Texas State Fair and at the rodeo it was it wasn't like my first rodeo I had never been to a rodeo before

but now when I go to a rodeo again I'll be able to send you with complete confidence this is not my first rodeo and it won't be because I've been to my first rodeo which was yesterday and it was amazing amazing horsemanship is something I admire I don't really have it much

I do I am married to a woman who has some horses and I suppose by prox say I have horses we have three horses two they're called

cobs in the UK but here I think they're called and they're not in the UK they live here but they came it's a long story a long expensive story

but anyway they came over with us. They're called Cubs there, but I think they're called draft horses here or something. They're big anyway. And I thought they were the biggest horses I'd seen. And then at the rodeo I saw these, I think they're called Pergeron, French

draft horses. I don't see what I don't like it. I think it's like 18, 19 hands these things. I mean, it's wither. So it's like it's back, you know, just at the back where its neck starts to go up. And a horse, you know, like this is the back of the horse where the saddle goes. And it's

neck goes up and that's his weather's right there. It was taller than my head and I'm six I used to be six but two and a half apparently I'm six foot one and a half now which it can only get worse soon

I'll be small that's sobering thought anyway so I went to the Texas stay fair and I went to the rodeo and I had some tight to the time And so now when I go to our rodeo, I can say,

this is not my first road. And we'll laugh, and then I'll say shake farky-dunk. All right, now, let's see. This is from Tarek Mooney from Algeria. I've never been to Algerian. Tariq says, I'm probably your only Algerian fan. Okay, thanks. Do the people know like me in Algeria?

or just they don't know who I am, I suspect. Will the column A, will they call them B? If they do know I am, they don't like. Except Tarek. Tarikson is, because he's my only Algerian fan, which is why I've never performed in Algeria, because I think it's probably more cost-effective about if Tarrick just comes here, if he wants to see me.

Anyway, Tarek says, I'm probably wrote, oh yeah, he said that. I'm a psychologist who thinks Freud was a scam, controversial. And Freud's anal stage theory, yes, that's really, you can check it. I heard about it. I know about Freud's anal stage theory. He claimed that if kids between two to three years old don't poop properly, they'll grow up stingy.

Do you know any stingy celebrities? Well, I suppose I do know some stingy people. I don't know that it's fair to call out people for being stingy. I'm not a big believer in calling out people for anything, to be honest. So like, it's so available to be public now, that it's hard to avoid being public. So I think calling people out, it's kind of a bullshit live, really, I think, unless they've committed a crime or something, and then maybe that's a bit more like it. But anyway, stingy people, yes, I do know that.

But I feel like, I feel it might be an imposition to ask, you know, to try and check. I'd already debunked theory anyway. that Freud I think Freud was like trying to find his way he was developing

almost a new science really so you know mistakes were made he was experimenting here's the thing by the way experiment

now you can look this up on the internet because I when I was on Sesame Street for one episode Elmo and I were we had a we tried to find

the meaning of the word experiment. We talked about the word experiment. And in the experiment, we tried to see how many chickens it would take to carry me across a road. It was a whole thing. Anyway, the thing is,

the word experiment, and in Freud's experimental stage at the early stages of psychoanalysis, he got some things wrong. Well, that's what experiments do. They give you information. I think people sometimes think, or I think, yeah, I think people sometimes think,

that experiments are only work if you get the result you're looking for but that's not the case at all the scientific approach to an experiment is keep an open mind and go in not and look at the data when you have it so if you do an experiment

and it doesn't work out then or it doesn't work out the way you thought then it's still a success because you got the information the experience is just getting the information now I understand where you're saying Tarrick. You're saying, well, this is a theory.

It's not an experiment. But it's a theoretical. It's a theoretical thing. Anyway, Tarrick's not being so mean to Freud. I think Freud takes a lot of hits. But the truth is, this is a guy who was trying to figure some stuff out of it. And some stuff he'd go right.

So it's stuff you go wrong. How many sizes have you invented? Tarrant. I'd now say that. He might have. A few, I don't know, Tariq, and I don't know each other, he may have. Mike in Louisville, Kentucky, or to pronounce it correctly, people in Louisville know this,

that if you're from Louisville, you don't pronounce it Louisville. If you say Louisville, people will know you from out of town. So what you say is, that's how it's pronounced in Louisville. Is it going to false? Anyway, so Mike and Love says, do you have any spiritual beliefs? I do spiritual beliefs. I don't tell you something about spirituality. For me, anyway.

I mean, I think spirituality is a little bit like yoga or skin-tight underwear. It looks different on every different person. Do you know what I mean? Like, it takes shape of the person that it's on. So whether it's yoga or skin-tight underwear or spiritual beliefs, It takes the shape of the individual, I think. And I have an evolving questioning mind, I think. And spiritually, I feel without certainty.

So I think about God and the universe and how we're all connected and loves and redemption and goodness. and blackness, I suppose, as well. I think about all these things, and I try and make sense of it and try to feel a sense of connected this to it, try to look it out. And I read a lot of things, you know, from the Upanishance to that big man that jumps in cold pills, which is the name Tony Robbins.

And, you know, I get limited results from different things that I look at. But I'm prepared to listen to anyone's idea of spirituality. and beliefs, do you have any spiritual beliefs, he asked me? Yeah, but I wonder if this forum is the best place to discuss them. I have an instinctive feeling is probably no-what. I feel like it's better to discuss spiritual beliefs when there's another person in the room. What I mean by that is this. If I'm talking to someone who's interested in spirituality and they're in the room with me,

which sadly you are not at the moment, Mike and Louisville, you're in Louisville, I assume unless you're on the road working like me, in which case of me, come on over and we'll discuss it. I think it's probably better to discuss spirituality when you have someone there who at least is another voice in the room. I think the danger of spirituality sometimes, certainly for me, is that if I'm too much in my own head, if I'm not hearing some kind of counter argument, or at least a

point of view that's stimulating then I can kind of disappear up my own ass a little bit which I think I might be doing right now yes I am see that's why I don't like to talk about this

in my own. It's not that I'm on my own and I know that you guys are here but you know what I mean to type be clear. This is from Jason here is in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I think I, that's I, that's, I pronounce his name, I can't know for sure.

He's not in the room. Jason says, if you could no longer be a vulgar lounge entertainer, gosh. What would you do for a career? Oh, Jason. I tell you what I was last night. I was in a place. called the Red Rivers

I think it's the dance hall in Dallas Texas the Red River dance hall it's a kind of honky talk but it's big and they have dancing and a band and a mechanical duel and stuff I mean you can probably imagine what it's like except you're probably in fact if you're not

if you've never been to the Red River dance hall you probably don't know what it's like because I had a preconceived notion about who would be there and what they would be like. That was wrong. This place was fantastic. Fantastic. It was, I'd never seen so many different people

from different walks of lives and different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different orientations, everything. All dancing as couples and he was amazing. It was just a lovely thing. And I thought, if, so to answer your question,

if I was not a volumin. who learns out. I'd like to own and operate the Red River Honky Ton dance hall place in Dallas, Texas. Or just go there. I'd just like to go then and see it. I was really, I really loved it.

It was really nice. All right. This is from DGL 8520. Sometimes you think maybe this might be from a bot. This might be one of those times. or like this may be from a bot

DGM 8520 says Dear Craig In regards to self-driving cars I was talking about that The last time I was doing one of these Sitting around in your room Talking to a screen podcast

He said In regards to self-driving cars You left Jeff when you left CBS And he had to find work So he moved to San Francisco I got the airport gig That is not true. That is not true.

And I'll tell you, I know it's not to you. Because I didn't leak Jeff at CBS, VGM-852, if that is your real name. Jess is in my hands. And Jeff is Ben Wachypard. And as Jeff would say, Jeff is joining everyone

in your pants. So, there you go, there's a thing that Jeff said. This is from Jorge Ogling, I think that's how to say. It's Ordeo O'Gwen in Mexico City who says, When you've done interviews or had guests, who was the guest that made you laugh at the moment? Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy, Robin Williams. Robin was one of the most rapid,

I mean, I don't have to describe Robin, too. you guys, I'm sure you know, and if you can't, if you don't know, it's very easy to look up his body of work that he left behind and, um, and, and see what he did.

What, what I loved about Robin, uh, as a guest, um, and he was, he was a little bit like this when he was not on camera as well, but certainly more so when he was,

when he was on camera and switched on. And he was all, it wasn't always as switched on. People always say, oh, Robin Lewis was switched on all the time. I, it's not, my experience with him. I don't feel like he's switched on all the time. He was who he was.

He was, like many people when they're in front of the camera or he's performing, he's a sort of amplifying version of himself, but he wasn't like crazy. He was a little bit crazy, but in a beautiful way. But Robin's mind was moving

so quickly that sometimes he would say something. Anyway, he would say a thing, and I remember as I guess we would both miss it, and then it would land with me maybe a couple of seconds later and I had to go back to the thing he said

to say, wait, did you say that? And that really made me laugh. There was something about rolling down a hill at great speed out of control about interviewing Robin Williams, which was one of the great joys of my life. Whenever Robin was on the old show, the old light night

show whenever I saw his name on the board there was a big board in the office and there would always you know there'd be names

up or thrus coming in next Tuesday next Tuesday all that does that and I would see Robert's name up when I saw his name up there I'd be like

oh gosh couldn't wait and it's exciting you know and when you become a jaded uh Hollywood type which I think I did for a while

um I don't I'm not that way anymore I don't think how much I'm different in that different in so many ways

but I think I got a little jaded when I was doing that show and but never was Robin I always always was pleased to see what kind of here for our nonsense he was up to so I hope that answers a question

actually oh that's the most concise answer I've given to a question and all this time and finally because I have to go I know I'm kind of phoning it in you guys the past few weeks but to be honest I hope you don't mind I am literally phoning it in

because I'm recording this on my phone but I feel like I made a deal with you guys to throw out a podcast once a week and I don't have a deal with anyone else this is what I kind of quite like about this I don't have a deal with you know a large conglomerate

or a multinational to make a podcast every week I did and I found myself resent that a little bit not their fault I just didn't like the vibe but now I feel much

like my contract's kind of with you and so I said I would do this and so I'm doing it so I'm gonna have to I'll do this one and I have to go because I have to go very early tomorrow morning

as you see it's night tight near and tight you can probably hear the Yehas and such like I have to go very early tomorrow and I'm going very, very far into Texas I don't know if you know this about Texas but it's a very big state and I'm going south and west

so I'm going deep, deep into Texas and I'm going in my truck with other people and stuff but my truck's going as well and I don't know how exciting my truck is probably as excited as me which is quite excited I'm going down at Big Bend,

the National Park there and stuff. And then I'll be up in Phoenix, Arizona next weekend. So, next weekend, or next Tuesday when you get it, the podcast will be from Phoenix, Arizona. So if you have any questions, you want to ask me about Phoenix, Arizona, or Big Bend, or Martha, Texas, or... There's another place we're going to in Texas.

I can't remember the name of it. It's a very small town, so probably best. I shouldn't remember the name of it. Anyway, you know, for that. I'll go in there tomorrow. So ask me questions and I'll answer them next week into Phoenix.

Why go to Phoenix next week? Craig, I've hear you ask. Because I'm going to, amongst other things, going to be the monster truck rally in Glenn Debra, Phoenix. I'm so excited. I can't wait to go.

I'm just so excited. I've never been. to a monster truck rally. And if they have a rodeo there, I'll say, this is not my first rodeo. But I won't be able to say, this is not my first monster truck rally, because it is my first monster truck rally. I'm very excited about it. Anyway, this is from Truly Jefferson in, does it say it with it? Truly, doesn't say it was she from. I presume Trilly's as she, only because of the film Chuddy Chuddy Bang Bye, when Truly Scrumptious was the name of the name of of the lady who I think was a sort of stepmother-nanny type figure who sang a bit and

signed truly scrumptious. I think that. I think that was Chitty Chitty Bangback. I asked Dick Van Dyke once when he was on the old Lake Night Show. He was a lovely man as well, Dick Van Dyke. I asked him, said, why couldn't you use a cockney accent for Chitty Chitty Bangback? and he said did you hear

the Courtney accent I did in Mary Poppins I said I did I said that's why I didn't use a Courtney accent

in chitty chitty bag back I just used my own voice now they it's probably a good choice thing

that oh I think so self deprecating man lovely he's only it must be a hundred years old

almost I think good for him um truly Jefferson who is not truly scrum she is

maybe Jefferson maybe she is truly scrumptus and Jefferson's her non-de-gur. Truly says do you believe in past Linux? At the risk of offending people who do believe in past lives I do not.

I do not believe in past lives. That doesn't mean they don't exist. This means I don't believe in them. It doesn't seem to me to be a viable answer. But I'm not saying that that's a definitive position on it. I'll keep an open mind.

In the true interest, in the true interest of trying to have a scientific attitude about these things, I will keep an open mind. There's no proof of past lives. There's no proof against past lives. Therefore, it's kind of open. So it falls into the realms of belief and faith and it doesn't seem plausible to me. It just doesn't seem plausible as a thing. And because, but perhaps there are echoes of personalities, I don't know.

St. Augustine said, trying to understand the mind of God, is trying to pour the ocean into a cup. and I feel like when you think about questions like past lives and all that kind of stuff I have that I just think I don't think there's a simple easy answer to any of it

and so I'll think about that in the coming week when I'm out in arguably no I think probably on in a regular way I think probably pretty much truly the last wilderness in the lower 48 and it's

southwestern Texas is where I'm going tomorrow I'm going to the desert my friend out. I'm going out going out, find myself and some other stuff and I'll report back when I get back

I may be different I may be the same and I don't this is quite different but that different I may have another time too I'll try not to get another tattoo in the desert

but I do like my little cactus and what you guys like you too it's just a cute little guy look at him and I got him underneath the sun this was Katie Tunstall's idea she said I was like well where I put my cactus

she said put it under the sun and the cactus be under the sun I was like oh and that's good and that's where I put it anyway that's about it for this one my dears sorry about the sound and light quality but you know I'm literally phoning this thing in right I'll get back to the studio as soon as I can I promise

take care of yourselves take care of each other I'll talk to you soon bye Thank you.