Joy, a Podcast. Hosted by Craig Ferguson - Thomas Lennon Returns

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

The man, the legend, Thomas Lennon is back on the podcast, an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, producer, director, novelist and Craig’s good friend. He plays Lieutenant Jim Dangle on the series Reno 911! Lennon is also an accomplished screenwriter of several major studio comedies, he wrote the Night at the Museum films, The Pacifier, Balls of Fury, and Baywatch. EnJOY! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, I'm Gianna Predenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Maury Tahary-Pore.

If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all, Nimini here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, the Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop.

Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. This week I interviewed Sean Mendez. He started out sharing covers online and now he's one of the biggest names in music. He also uses his platform to raise awareness for causes he cares about, like mental health

and climate change. The reality is I don't have a deeper understanding of life, I just have a deeper acceptance of self. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. The Craig Ferguson Pants On Fire tour is on sale now. It's a new show, it's new material,

but I'm afraid it's still only me, Craig Ferguson, on my own, standing on a stage, telling comedy words. Come and see me, buy tickets, bring your loved ones, or don't come and see me. Don't buy tickets and don't bring your loved ones. I'm not your dad. You come or don't come, but you should at least know it's happening, and it is. The tour kicks off late September and goes through the end of the year and beyond. Tickets are available at thecraigfergusonshow.com.

They're available at thecraigfergusonshow.com. Or at your local outlet in your region. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to interesting people about what brings them happiness. On the podcast today is one of my oldest friends. Well, he's not old at all. In fact, he's younger than me, which doesn't make you young by any stretch of the imagination, but he's a lovely man and a good friend of mine

and an excellent member of the show business community. He's a writer, he's an actor, and he has a mustache. His name is Tom Lennon. This is good, this is like being on CNN. I see you finally got the chair of your dreams that you were dreaming about. You know, this chair is from a... I don't know if you've heard of this company. They're very, very exclusive.

What they do is you buy the chair in a flat pack form and then... And it inflates? You have the chair. It gets delivered to your house by Vikings and then... That's a clue to the chair. It gets delivered to your house by Vikings. And then that's a clue to the company. Love thirsty people. Yep. And then, but luckily what you have to do is you have to hide while the Vikings raid, pillage. Okay.

And all the other stuff they do. No, they do a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, they do a lot of stuff. I have some of that DNA as a result from stuff those guys do. Do you know that the Vikings were actually, I'm just turning the sound up so I can hear you better, Vikings were the most prolific traders and slaves in human history apparently. That seems like it tracks.

Also, can I say it feels a lot like when you went to the catalog for the chair, you had just had a fever dream about the show Dynasty and everybody and like the shoulder pads on all these Foxy 80s ladies. See what I'm saying? It's got a Foxy. Are you saying that you think it's a Foxy? It feels like it's a bit shoulder padded. It feels like in a nightmare where Angie Dickinson as like an 80s sex pot where she's gonna get

She was absolutely Was and is So let's say some evil wizard was like Angie Dickinson You shall now live as a chair You shall spend eternity as a chair now that you have done so many evil deeds Now that you have done so many evil deeds. But wait, first of all... You shall sit under Craig Ferguson for the rest of your life. First of all, there's a flaw in your logic here because Angie Dickinson, whilst a gorgeous

86, but Anstin... 100 percent. Not evil in any way. No, no, no. Not evil at all. Delight, delight. And also, I noticed that your evil wizard was English and also Irish. So, I don't think that works. Well he started off, he started, they always land a little bit Irish, you know?

It's better to land over that way. Well, my, when I do accent work, it's usually, can you do a Scottish accent? And I say yes, and it's usually, can you do a Scottish accent? And I say, yes. And that's pretty much it. The only English, I did an English voice in the Drew Carey show, but that was bad. That was a bad English voice. Let's go to a clip. And we're back.

Craig Ferguson from our Drew Carey. Oh, I'm going to fire you right away. Get the hell out of here, Drew Carey. My name is Craig Ferguson. No, no, it was Mr. Wick. It was mr. Wick Okay, so I say care you're fired. Oh, very good. I went for poor I went for porch before don't now be before it was cool. It's still not cool But I I just learned something about British people, you know who live, you know very close to you

Scotland the British people. Yeah, Did you know that very, like until our childhood, you could go to a shop in the East End and get jellied eels to eat? Oh, oh wait, wait. You can still, you can still go to stores in the East end of London and get jelly deals. It's a delicacy. How? It's an eel? Well, what you do is, you go into the store, first of all, you get on your flat cap.

Yeah, yeah, go in and do it now and do it somebody weird. Yeah. Thumbs in your waist, go. Oh, shit. Okay. Okay. You go into the store and you say, I'd like some jelly deals, please. And they say, why certainly sir.

And they don't put you in a straight jacket and take you to say, we're taking you to the lunatic asylum, because no one would eat it. No, they eat jelly deals. And the thing is, the eels are very good near the sewage outlets, because you know what eels like to eat. So the eels that they eat. Threw that out so casually. No, we don you know what eels like to eat. So the eels that they eat. We just threw that out so casually. No, we don't know what they'd like to eat.

Do eels eat poop? Are we saying that eels eat something like poop or something? I don't want to be a part of this. I think eels will eat anything organics and that includes, you know, they don't know it's poop. They're eels. They just think, wow, what's all this amazing delicious stuff coming out of this pipe? They don't know it's poop. Their eels, they just think, wow, what's all this amazing delicious stuff coming out of this pipe?

They don't know it's poop. Oh, and it's probably got other eel. God, with this, the thing went sideways quick. I'm sorry I asked about it. I just thought you'd probably know about it as it's a delicacy from nearby you. Well, English people eat, well, cockneys basically. They call them cockneys because they eat cockles as well. Because their cocks go down to the knees.

It was a totally different reason. I've always assumed I heard Michael Caine and when I heard cocks knees, I just thought, wow, this guy seems, I thought his acting was amazing. I didn't know. It's that, that's their favorite, the East End of London, That's why they have, that's why they have their thumbs in their waistcoats for balance. It's about center of gravity. Uh, they have to, they have to hold themselves back thumbs in

his, in order of their massive weight. The weight would share the eel and we're back to their jellied eel would just tip them straight forward. They'd go, but here's the thing. But here's the thing. That's only male cockneys, female cockneys. Female cockneys actually the correct name for a female cockney is a vagoc... Vagney.

That's a vagney. A vagney. Yeah, a cockney and a vagney. Anyway, I'm dying to try some of these jellied eels once I get back to that part of the world. Well, you know, you can get eels, you get maguro, isn't that? No, that's tuna. But they can get eels in sushi restaurants. Japanese people eat eels and by extension, people who enjoy Japanese food eat eels.

I know your family is a big Marmite family. You're a Marmite guy, aren't you? We are Marmiters, yeah. Yeah, but there's no eels in Marmite. It could be. It could be, it just takes one genius to do that. No, no, no, that's absurd, Tom. Marmite is a vegetarian treat.

You add eel to it, it's not gonna work. I would actually think if I'm going to eat an eel in any way, Marmite's going to be my way out. Marmite's going to be the only, going to be the only way to get me to the other side of this tunnel. Oh, you mean like for taste wise? Taste wise. I need something that's going to...

I've never had eel. You've never tried eel? No, not going to do it. Never had it,'s gonna... You've never... I've never had eel? You've never tried eel? No. Not gonna do it. Never had it, not gonna do it. Have you ever been to Japan?

No, I haven't. See, now you have to get yourself to Japan because... I know, right? I went to a sushi restaurant in Japan. Now, I said, before I went, I was just like you. I was like, I will never eat eel. Never. And I went to Japan and I went to...

Have you ever seen the documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi? Only like a million times. I know that, uh, did you go to that place? I went to that exact restaurant. Did you meet Jiro? Yes, I did. Was he nice to you? He, he kind of was.

Yeah, he was okay. Cause I've heard he's, I heard he was standoffish. I heard he's a little standoffish. Well, no, I think he's formal. I think he's very, he's a very formal, it's very manners. And I went to the restaurant with Milo, my oldest child who was 13 at the time. Right. So Milo and I go to this restaurant because we had watched the documentary and we go

in and they just, Jiro-san just tells you what you're going to have. Yeah, you can't ask for it. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get to choose. It's like, here's what it is. And if you've seen the documentary, you'll know that his son is really big time, so to say.

The son is how they got the Michelin star. Or the- Right, exactly. Was he a three? Yeah, I mean, it's very, very high up. I think he's a three. He's a three star, which is the highest it goes. And then they took one away because it's too hard to get a table.

And he had agreed. He said, that's okay. You can take one away. But one of the rules of Michelin stars is, I think his restaurant, how many seats are in the restaurant? Total. It's not big. It's about the size of a little diner.

It's like a little diner. It wasn't busy when I was in. I'd argue you have, I've been to your house, you have a bigger sushi restaurant in your house. In my house. I've been there. I've seen it. You objectively.

They're partially in my house. I've never been. No, of course. Sometimes I go to areas of my house and I'm like, wow, look at this chair. Who had this sushi restaurant and then you've got that weird karaoke place over there. Yeah. It's, it's pretty big. Uh, but here's the thing though.

I've moved back to America, Tom. I know. I keep, I keep tabs on you. I keep tabs on you a little bit. I live in New England though. I actually had a party this summer and I was invited you to come to the party in the summer and you, and you didn't, you didn't come. I know I didn't make it.

I do want to come though. I'm dying to come. Yeah. you know why I should come here We we have eels like you wouldn't believe you know why I couldn't come I couldn't come because I had to go do I got I got I'd agreed to do something and I forgot when it was happening But have you ever done one of these I never would do it I would never would do it except the you know how the movie business is in a giant recession Well for me all, for me it is. Oh, show business. So I did, I did the first ever and I had always been sort of dubious about these,

but I had, I went and did a, I had to do, had to do, I got to do, it was really fun. I did a fan convention. I'd never done a fan convention. It's a really... you've never done one. Supply and demand, my friend. I don't have enough fans. Oh no, you definitely have enough fans. You have a lot of fans. I don't have enough. You do.

No, not enough for a convention. Maybe enough for if we all went to the sushi restaurant. Great, I'll tell you right now. Not everybody at the fan convention has enough fans for a fan convention. I imagine that's probably true. Some folks definitely do. Some folks definitely do. You'll meet some real, you'll meet some real interesting folks at the fan convention. Oh, wait, is it a fan convention that, that, that like they, first of all, here, and here's my main concern.

Do they pay you to go? Yes. Okay, good. So I'm still listening. Yeah. And secondly, is it fans of Reno 911? Is it fans of... It's fans of the idea of show business in general.

So like, here's a perfectly logical one corner of the fan convention that makes perfect sense ready is me and Then Dennis Rodman and then Priscilla Presley Just the way that you always pictured us, you know how they sell that ice cream That's like three if you can't decide what you want You know Neapolitan. I think it's called after the flag. I'll have Rodman Presley Lennon, please But you don't know you're like, yeah I don't want that much of any one of those three but that for one corner in one beautiful place in Pittsburgh this year the Neapolitan ice cream flavor of three tables in a row

Priscilla lieutenant dangle Number 91 Dennis the worm Rodman and it makes if you think about it it makes perfect sense well in a fan convention sort of no describe the people to me that turn up at a fan convention. You know it's a very fun bunch it was just um it's a little it feels a little bit like you're at Comic-Con you know it feels like you're at it's people okay you know it's the it's uber fans I'll say this I've been on you know I've been on and I. I'll say this, I've been on, you know, I've been on, and I know you've done this too, I've been on a couple of book tours when

I've written a novel and gone out with a book. And you know who shows up at bookstores? Yeah. Almost no one. Oh, yeah, no, that's true. Oh, God. That is true. I've been sitting in so many book events. Especially now.

No. Especially now. I mean, I'm a very bookie person, as you can tell by the behind me. You've been bragging about your literacy for years. Yeah, I'm like, I'm a reader, but I can't tell you the last time I read a book. It's hard with all the business of, I don't know, looking ates of eels my last novel and stuff my last novel that I wrote I had a book I went to I had a book event up in San Francisco. Just kind of just outside San Francisco Right. I'm like, this is gonna be so cool something like that. It could have been yeah Yeah

Could have been and I got to the book event and there were 12 people at the book event Craig You ready? And six of them were my cousins. Six of them was the San Francisco branch of the Lenins, of which there's a pretty big, there's a lot of San Francisco Lenins. And thank goodness because they showed up for the book event. Because otherwise you're not always going to get folks at the book event. You know?

It's funny, you know, you surprised me. I don't think, I didn't know the Irish went to San Francisco. Oh, yes, yes, yes. So the Irish went to San Francisco. Have you not seen the picture called Dirty Harry Callahan? Oh, that's true. Yes, not only that, my uncle, Mike Lennon, speaking Michael Lenin, my father's older brother, was a captain on the San Francisco police force for like 40 something years.

Yeah. Well that's the police though. All policemen are Irish. No, no, that's what we do. Until about 1987, every policeman in the United States was Irish. That's what we're doing. And many of, most of them were my cousins. Many or most of them. Yeah. Well, that's Ireland and then that's the Viking thing. That's a good job for us. It seems to work out. I have a couple of Irish, no, no, it doesn't at all actually, now when I think about it. It's one of the reasons though that I always felt very comfortable in Boston because I felt like I looked like every cop in the city. It's a classic.

If I was doing like a Muppet Christmas Carol where there's a Boston cop, Ferguson, you're my number one. You would be like, oh my God, number one. Like, who do I need? Well, first of all, are you doing a Muppet Christmas Carol? Are you ready for this? You're ready for this? I made a sort of a joke about that.

I think that's because in my subconscious, the state is working on a, do you ever remember a state sketch called Porcupine Racetrack that I wrote? Oh no, we did it live. We do it live at the end. I come out in the porcupine outfit. Yeah, I saw it in the show live. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're kind of working on, we were working on a musical of that with Brian Henson's company. Do you know Brian Henson? He's the heir. I do know, I know Brian very well actually. We've not made a bunch of television shows together. That's what we're doing right now. He and I are not making something. He's a lovely guy. I love not making television with him. I'm so close to having almost not made something with him. Yep. That's, I have not made about four great TV shows with Brian Hed.

I think uh... He is a lovely man though. He's so lovely. Did you get a tour of the studios, the Henson Studios? We did. We got to go in that crazy meeting room. So it's not, I mean it's so crazy. It's Chaplin Studios.

It was Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin's old studios in Hollywood. Yeah. And they recorded We Are The World there, which I'm sure you've seen the documentary. Wait. Oh, thrown out tonight. That's recorded at. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes. When it was then it was a music company for a long time. And they recorded We Are The World right there. I think I did hear that because I think they had also said that the Carpenters had recorded. Oh wow Very very likely. Karen Carpenter. Yes. Karen Carpenter. Made you a drummer. I'm a big fan. A drummer. As of as a drummer. Karen Carpenter is a great drummer. Okay, let's go to a clip And we're back. What I mean was he amazing? Um, yeah, that was great. Karen Carpenter clip. Um, so no we're working. I mean, where's your music? Yeah, that was great Karen Carpenter clip.

So no, we're working. We're working on, I'm going to act like we're working on it and it's going to work out fine. You know, and it's just, let's, let's just say, yeah, it's going on. Hey, I'm Gianna Prenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions, like how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed?

Or can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes! Each week we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Sanner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies.

Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it, like, you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're turning up the heat on the newest episode of All the Smoke. Vice President and Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris pulls up to the show to discuss her historic presidential run. Most people have ambition, they have aspirations, they have dreams, and they are willing to work hard. And if we give people the opportunity to actually meet those goals, they jump for it every time.

Matt and Stack will be diving deep into the journey that brought her here, her vision for the future and the real stories behind the headlines. Make sure you check out all the smoke with Vice President Kamala Harris out now. Listen today on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So y'all this is Questlove and I'm here to tell you about a new podcast I've been working on with the Story Pirates and John Glickman called Historical Records. It's

a family-friendly podcast. Yeah, you heard that right. A podcast for all ages. One you can listen to and enjoy with your kids starting on September 27th. I'm going to toss it over to the host of Historical Records, Nimini, to tell you all about it. Make sure you check it out. Hey, y'all, Nimini here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop. Another one gone, fast bam, another one gone, The cracker, the bat, and another one gone,

The tip of the cap, there's another one gone. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history, like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it! And it began with me Did you know, did you know

I wouldn't give up my seat And I am up before Rosa He was Claudette Goldman Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ["I'm Not On TV"] If you know it's in television right now, though, I mean, this is true. It's certainly true for me. Like, I'm like, I'm not involved in television right now. Whenever I pitch anything to anyone, they're like, oh, that's great.

And then I never hear anything again. I'm in a very weird place where I do, you know, like I'm writing a show for Fox that I've been writing for about two years now. But then I'll have like auditions for like roles that you would think I would just get. You know, like, like recently audition for like weird guy who's in charge of the pickleball rules at like weird guy. They're like fifties mustache persnickety asshole who's in charge of the pickleball committee. And I'm like, I have to audition for this.

Well, here's, I had the same thing. I, somebody said, I got the, I got, and somebody said to me, they said, we'd like you to do a chemistry read with the, the other, uh, star in that we want to put you with. I went, well, I don't, I don't need to do a chemistry. What are you talking about? A cremistry read this, this part, by the way, was this recently? Yes. Was it this within this last year?

Definitely within the last six months. Did we, did we read for the same role and neither of us get it? Was it you sign a non-disclosure agreement where you couldn't talk about it? No, I didn't know I did Because I because I wouldn't do the chemistry read or you didn't even do it No, I'm like, you know, what I am. Could we get could we get vaguely more specific? Was it it wasn't for some? Is it for okay? I'm gonna okay people playing along can guess was it for a streaming service whose logo is a famous bird? Yeah, I believe it was yes it was so it was for a streaming it was a high-end streaming show Their logo is a beautiful bird famous for showing off its beautiful plumage

And i'm not saying the name of anything, but he has beautiful plumage. Um, yeah, he's got uh, his cock goes down to his knees Uh, right. It's it's um That is so interesting the rule I can't imagine we were up for the same role because the guy was Scottish. Oh no, then we, no, we weren't, we weren't. Oh wait, no, wait. I read the script and I said, no, no, no, no, here's what I'm, I read the script and I said, this guy's Scottish. That's just something you thought.

Of course. I thought, that's what I do, that's what I do in every script I read. I read the script and go, well, this guy's really Scottish. Well, I'll tell you right now. Why do I read it? And I'm like well, thank God this guy has a mustache and then nowhere does it say that and I just told you he does I'm like well lucky. It's another it's another mustache part for me Well, I don't know I mean it just seems like a very odd time and every time I talk to a television executive now

I mean look I never I never loved television executives, but now I just think, you guys are fucking idiots. I wouldn't trust you to park my car. Can I say what's better about your version of the story though? So we both were reading for something for the Beautiful Bird streaming service. Right. I did do the chemistry read. Right. I did do the chemistry read. Right. And I did it and I thought, it felt like I was having, maybe I'm delusional, I might

be a little delusional, you've known me for a long time. It seemed like one of the- You're a little delusional, but not bad. It seemed like one of the great auditions of my life. Really? I just knew I was killing it. Were you reading with an actress who's sort of specific? No, I know who the actress was, but I refused to do the reading. I was like, no, give me the job or fuck off.

Ah, see that should have worked better for me because I did do the reading and I still didn't get it. It didn't work for me either. They didn't give me the job. Let's go, right now, let's find out who got that and get them on this fucking podcast right now. Because I want to figure out what did they... Let's go to who got that and get him on this fucking podcast right now because I want to figure out what did they? Let's go to commercial break. Let's go to the club brings will bring in who actually scooped me and Ferguson I Love that you had the balls not to just say I'm not gonna do that. I Don't by the way, that's a blanket policy for me now. Yeah, but I can't I can't do that

Well, of course you fucking can. No, I can't. They know who you are. No, they don't. Yes, they do. They do. They do. Otherwise they wouldn't have asked you.

Well, my hubris is always, the second they see me read it, I'm gonna get it. Like, there's no way they see me do this and not give it to me, because I'm so amazing. Well, I can believe that. I mean, well, you are very amazing. My feeling is that if they see me doing it they'll never give me the job. Keep the mystery up there. Yeah. Just think oh you'll be sorry you never gave it to me.

Yeah, you'll never know what it was like. You'll never know what it was like over here. Yeah, I don't know though. I always had a hard time with auditions. I could never do them. I failed so many auditions. Worst one ever. Worst one ever for fun. Braveheart. Did you?

You did not audition for Braveheart. I did audition for Braveheart. The friend? The like his best friend guy who there's the other dude. Yeah. The one I got auditioned for, I can't remember the exact part, but the actor who got it was David O'Hara, who's a very good actor. Sure, sure, of course, yeah.

And it was between David and I to get the part and David got it. And it's crushed me ever since. Crushed me. And then, but recently, I was talking to someone and they said, well, you know, have you talked to David recently? Maybe he would have liked to have gone with the way you went. I went, oh, I never thought that. Yeah, that's a very good point. I, but the one that always broke my heart was there was about six weeks where it

was pretty certain that I had the role of Ford Prefect in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Oh, yeah. No, I like, I, I basically I basically I'd read it did it seemed amazing Didn't hear for a little while and then I got a call. They're like, hey, they want you to do the voice of the of the spaceship I'm like, oh wait, that's like two or three lines off-camera. They're like, yes And did you do it? Of course, of course, but because the the role ended up going to most deaf. It's the only time I think that most definitely were up for the exact same role.

I wouldn't put you guys in a competitive situation. We never has the mustache hardly ever. Yeah, I actually feel now it's funny that film because I was a was and am a huge fan of the Hitchhiker's guys. I met and knew Douglas Adams. You did not. And I did so. I knew him in London. Yeah. And I was a big fan of these books. In fact, Stephen Fry introduced me to it. Stephen Fry and Douglas Adams were the first two guys in London to ever own the Apple computers. They were very early adopters of of PC, these Apple PCs, and they were both tech geeks.

But Douglas Adams is the world, the Hitchhiker's Guide series. The best. I, I thought that movie was a great missed opportunity. You know, I actually, recently I'd been talking so much smack about it to my son, because I gave him Hitchhiker's Guide and I gave him basically Restaurant at the End of the Universe and The Long Dirt, you know, all of the books in order. And then I was talking smack about the movie a little bit and all these like but you're in the movie

I'm like, yeah, I my voice is in the movie for a couple seconds Here and there but um, and then I actually threw it on the screen and we watched it and it was way better than I remembered it. I think I was really I was really down on it at the time Maybe I was just too close to the books. But this time around and maybe now You know with Alan Rickman being gone like that had a little gravitas to me that it didn't have before and Yeah, I and I ended up damn it if I didn't end up really kind of really liking the movie of hitchhikers guide But I liked it for the first time now Which is only interesting because at the time I was mad, but I thought it, I

really thought it kind of missed at the time. Yeah. You know, that's fine. Well, maybe that, maybe I should go and look at it again. That happens to me quite a lot. Yeah. What's the, what's the biggest movie you've been in where you thought, uh, I really wish I wasn't in this movie.

This movie sucks. Or, or I just don't like this movie, even although I'm in it. Oh, okay. I can tell. I mean, here's a huge one Here's a huge one Right. Um, and this is interesting. My name is on the poster of this movie. So right. I read the script for this movie And the movie is called ready puppet master the littlest, right?

Puppet master the litt Littlest Rike. So I have to, I have to see this. I have to see this movie. So it's like the seventh, eighth, it's like the seventh, eighth or ninth of these haunted puppet movies. And I get the, I get a call. We were supposed to go to a, we were supposed to go on, and I get a call and they're like, we have a straight up offer for you.

And I'm like, well, the answer is yes, you know me. I mean, like, if it's a chemistry read for Peacock or a straight offer, I'm going to take the straight offer. And so I read the script and I definitely, when I say read the script, you know me, I skim the script a little bit. I see does my guy- You read the bits you read. Yeah, yeah. I read the bits I read. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, say read the script, you know me, I skim the script a little bit. I see does my guy- You read the bits you were in. Yeah, yeah.

I read the bits I'm in. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, my line, bullshit, bullshit, my line. Do I do anything funny? Do I do anything funny? Yeah, yeah. You know, there's some sort of kissing and fun stuff and some stabbing. I get stabbed by a puppet and you know, there's a lot of dumb, just dumb joie de vivre. You know, the joie de vivre that you enjoy.

It's like go down to Dallas, stay in an awful hotel, fight puppets for a couple three weeks or something like that. Beautiful. Yeah, you have nice dinners, stuff like that. Now then I went, I saw the picture. And not only, they actually, the producer and the guys that had made the movie, after we finished the movie, they added way more scenes that were never in the guys that had made the movie, after we finished the movie, they added way more scenes that were never in the script that are so stunningly violent and so gross

that actually had they been in the script when I agreed to it, I might not have said yes. It gets so gross. That's the problem with agreeing to do a movie when you only read your lines in the script, it's what I do too. It's my technique. Yeah. But that happened to me because I'm in a very, very big, this movie that I was at to make more money than any other movie I've ever been in, it won the Oscar that

year for best animated movie. I know what this movie is. Yeah. What is it? It's not Brave? It is Brave. No, I don't know Brave. I wasn't sure if we were saying the name or if we were just saying, yeah.

No, it's Brave. And I'm in that movie and when I was sitting watching the movie and I was like, I don't like this movie at all. The thing about, we've had like so many movies now where somebody, the mother or the daughter turns into a bear. It just keeps being a thing. I don't know when this became a thing that we're doing, but it is a thing. Also, you can't poison, you don't get what you want. And so you poison your mom to turn her into a bear. That is no lesson to be given to young people. I might be against you on this one. I think I enjoyed that one. Aren't you on how to train your dragon also?

Oh yeah. I did all of that. Oh yeah. That's some good ones. Yeah. Yeah. Those are great. Those are really great.

I love those ones. They are good. They're really good. I have nothing bad to say about them. They were fun. Um, and I, and I love doing them. They're doing a live action of that. Really?

That's going to be, I'm not in it, but are you willing to do a chemistry test? You do a quick chemistry test? No, I'm not. I'm definitely not. I'm not in it. And they didn't ask me to be in it, but it doesn't mean they, I think Jerry's doing it and he's the only one from the, the original cast that I think is doing

it and then everybody else. Because there's obvious problems in the sense that we don't look like the people that we were in the thing. Well that's a good thing about animation. Yeah. I have a funny thing. I've gotten to the point now where I've created things that just kept going without them even telling me about them.

Really? Like, I actually hosted the pilot for the original At Midnight. Do you remember that? I knew. Do you remember that I hosted that pilot? Yeah, but you didn't want to do it. No, I didn't want to do it, so I wanted, Chris was going to do it and Chris hosted the whole time.

And then I just found out, but I'd sort of produced it and kind of helped create it. And then I just found out later I got a call from the Funny or Die guys, like, hey, we're going to keep doing the show. I'm like, lucky me, ka-ching, ka-chingin kachin. I don't own any of it at all turns out. I own none of it at all No, none. Oh, no Now I have to go sit next to Dennis Rodman every weekend every weekend. I sit next to Rodman. I Get to you do I get to sit next to Robin. I've only done one. Have you I'm only done one. I I'm into it though.

I like, do you just sign autographs and stuff? Is that what happens? You just be charming all day. You'll be exactly the way that you are at home, except it's out in person and people are squeezing your buns a little bit. Oh, you get a little bit of honk honk. Let me squeeze them. Let's get this little Glasgow boy up.

You know, you go, you put it like that. I might do it. You get a couple little pats on the bottom just so you know You're doing a good job and then No, it's all right. Yeah. Um, it's a good time But oh no, and then I also like they made Disney made a full animated They're talking about just auditioning for something. Oh, I got a right. I got a funny audition story. So I got I

Got the car, you know just an email from my agent which is um You know, there's an animated night at the museum that Disney Plus is doing Fourth night at the museum and would you like to read for the role of Teddy Roosevelt? Which of course was played by Robin Williams in the live-action to read for the role of Teddy Roosevelt, which of course was played by Robin Williams in the live action films, who was not a close friend, but we were friendly. And it was just a funny audition to have because I wrote Night at the Museum. Yeah, I know. So it was like, it was just so odd to get like, hey, put yourself on tape, just record

yourself. And so I just did a totally normal audition and thank God I booked it. Yeah. Cause if I didn't get that, I would have been like, wow, that's pretty embarrassing. Yeah. Well, let me give you a codicil to my Braveheart story. So I didn't get the role in Braveheart. It's every, every Scottish actor in the UK gets a job in Braveheart.

It set me I'm disillusioned beyond belief. Of course. So it's the early 90s. I go, well, I've had enough of this. Clearly I can't do anything here. I go to America, right? I'm in Los Angeles. I'm trying to get work in Los Angeles.

And I, my agent at the time says, hey, they're doing an audio book of the movie Braveheart. And they're looking for a Scottish actor to read the audiobook of Braveheart and I'm like, fine, I'll go out because I'll get it. I'm the only Scottish person in Los Angeles at that time. And I go to the thing and I do the reading and I'm, you know, I kind of lay on a little bit with, the lady thinks that it's time. Oh God, you're perfect for this. Perfect. Yeah, right. Exactly. By the way, I can't believe you had to

audition even for this. Yeah, well here's the thing though, I auditioned it, I don't get the job. Oh shit, you didn't get the movie or the audiobook. Or the audiobook. Oh my god. And the casting director told my agent, because I'm like, how can they not give me the job? I'm the only Scottish person in between here and New York City. Yeah. And they said, they said, well, we just didn't feel his accent was authentic. Oh, my God. Like, right. I give up. Oh, my God.

And at that point, I had to become English and go on the Drew Carey show, which I booked about a week later, but that was it was I've never been so crushed. I couldn't even get a job as a Scotsman. Hey, I'm Gianna Prenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions. Like how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed?

Or can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes! Each week we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Sanner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Sanner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies.

Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it, like, you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We're turning up the heat on the newest episode of All the Smoke. Vice president and Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris pulls up to the show to discuss her historic presidential run. Most people have ambition they have aspirations they have dreams and they are willing to work hard and if we give people the opportunity to actually meet those goals they jump for every time. Matt and stack will be diving deep into the journey that

broader here her vision for the future and the real stories behind the headlines make sure you check out all the smoke with vice president Kamala Harris out out now. Listen today on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So y'all, this is Questlove, and I'm here to tell you about a new podcast I've been working on with the Story Pirates and John Glickman called Historical Records. It's a family-friendly podcast. Yeah, you heard that right. A podcast for all ages. One you can listen to and enjoy with your kids

starting on September 27th. I'm gonna toss it over to the host of Historical Records, Nimini, to tell you all about it. Make sure you check it out. Hey, y'all, Nimini here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop.

-♪ Flash slam, another one gone, bash bam, another one gone, the cracker to bat and another one gone, the tip of the cap is another one gone. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history, like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it!

Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning into Historical Records because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I have the worst non-audition story, the worst thing I just found out about later. I never had an audition for it ever. I just found out later because there was a book about The Office that I was on a casting list for the Michael Scott role in The Office. That would have made sense. I know, it does make sense. And then in some

ways when it came out and it was like the apparently there was a memo and there was a bunch of funny people on it Paul F. Tompkins was on it was a genius and yeah a bunch of really funny people and but then I was like oh you know maybe I wish I don't know maybe it would have been more fun not to know that. It's fine it's fine anyway you slice it it's we did great we had a great run you got that beautiful chair that you always dreamt about the one that looks like Angie Dickinson my dynasty You got the dynasty Angie Dickinson share here. I I was a big fan of Angie Dickinson actually I because I was coming of age. Oh, yeah. He was yeah policewoman

Yeah, she's like a boss. She's like a real alpha lady She's like there was a certain era of lady like that that yeah, she'd be the boss, you know, she'd. Yeah, she would like, she would look great in heels, but she could also fire a gun and jump over a car and and catch perps. Mine was like, mine was Stephanie Powers from like Heart to Heart. Yeah. I sort of call my vision of myself as an adult was basically that I would be in sort of like a, my lifestyle would be very heart to heart lifestyle of like fast cars, murders. That is your lifestyle.

It's very much my lifestyle. Very heart to heart. The murder, the bubble baths and murders. The champagne in a hot tub. So much champagne bubble baths. so much champagne in hot tubs. That is so dangerous. Do you know that I, mine is a pretty obscure one. This is my absolute, the absolute sex symbol for me when I was a kid, was an actress called Alexandra Bastido. You're gonna have to, you're gonna have to give me a little bit of background on this.

You're going to have to give me a little bit of background on this. OK, so in the UK, and I guess it would be the late 60s, early 70s, there was a TV show called The Champions. OK. And The Champions, they were kind of previously champions. Previously on the champions. There were three spies, secret agents and they had superpowers. Oh, oh, it was like a marvel thing almost. Yeah. Well, yeah, but I mean, just they had telekinesis or they had like, oh, the superpower they had is they would go like that and then they would in post-production they would go woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo go. That's pretty much it. They had Dr. Who superpowers. Yeah. That's right. Like an egg whisk or something would come in and float around and then go out. But Alexandra Bastido was in the show and she was a young woman at the time. I was a child, but there was a, she used to wear, she had these kind of like Chanel suits and they were kind of tight and she would like drive cars and you know, walk in places and kind of be all... This was a real thing at the time. This was a very much of a thing in our era because there was always those commercials with like, Jeanate after Bat Splash and she's like a lady and she like rides a motorcycle, but then she's in a suit and you can't believe when she takes off a helmet she's in a she has great hair. Yeah all of that. So she was

she was a very very very attractive woman and and I always I've always talked my whole life I always said to Megan the ideal woman for me was when I was again the first was not until I met Megan, was Alexandra Bastido. So for my birthday one year, Megan and the boys got me a signed photograph from that period of Alexandra Bastido. Nice. And it was a great, so I hung it up because when I come back from Japan, I'd been in Japan with Milo.

I thought I loved the toilet so much in Japan that I bought a Japanese toilet. It's a Toto or one of those amazing. Unbelievable. Like the one that goes, ah, up your bottom. It'll say a haiku. It'll do a haiku if you need it. Unbelievable. I'm happy to accept your race. I mean, it's unbelievable. So you've got...

No way. Here's what happened. So I get this photograph of Alexander Bastido and I put it up in my bathroom because then every time I go in... And everybody's like, why is Craig... has Craig been in the bathroom for... He's so, he's missing Christmas dinner. Where is he? He's looking at, he's got his photo up. You know what he's doing.

But here's the thing, the Alexander, the, the, because the photograph is up there, the slang word for going for a poop in my house now is, he's got the Bastito. He's copping a Bastito. He's got to the Bastido. He's coppin' a Bastido. I remember a young boy crush, these are always such a fun thing, young boy crushes, because I got on an airplane one time and I almost fainted with how starstruck I was by the Miss Susan Lucci. Okay. I saw Susan Lucci in person and I mean, did you give her an Emmy?

I was she not nominated for like 35, 40 years or something like that. Unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, it was just outrageous. Terrible. But I saw Susan Lucci in person. It was I don't hear I think getting up. We were getting on the same flight and I was just like, I can't. Oh, my God. I'm about to be on the same airplane as Susan Lynch Really freaked me out. I was just so like I'll just I I'm sure I look I must look fine, right? I'll just fix this and hello and I'm I might say hello, but

Do you ever get that now? I mean I used to get an adrenaline rush when I like when I star struck when I was yeah I don't get that anymore I just doesn't happen. I'm trying to think who could starstrike me these days occasionally, there's a music person that You know, I got very starstruck. I my first week in Los Angeles. I asked Tom Waits for his autograph Okay, which was a huge mistake. Never do that. Never ever ever do that. Do not approach Tom Waits for his autograph, which was a huge mistake. Never do that. Never, ever, ever do that.

Do not approach Tom Waits. He does not want to say it. It's kind of like asking Lou Reed for his autograph. I literally stepped towards him with a pen and like a pad of paper and he said, make it quick. And then he asked, I was like, Mr. Waits, could I have your autograph? And he said, what are you going to do with it? And I said, I'm putting it on the bulletin board, but I should, I shouldn't have done it, but I'm trying to think who would I get really?

I mean, you know, but you've met, oh, I held the bathroom door open for Mick Jagger at the Chateau Marmont one time. Yeah. Yeah. And he said, with Mick Jagger, didn't make a movie with Mick Jagger. Exactly. That's your famous thing is you almost make movies and TV shows with people. I almost make movies that for about a year I didn't make a movie with Mick Jagger.

I think I was a little starstruck and I, you know, he said, thanks. I held the bathroom door, he said, thanks. And I, thanks. And that was pretty neat. But we're not going in the bathroom. I don't want you waiting around here. Don't get in the time zone. So just, just go back out there. But he's awfully nice. That was at Chateau Marmont. He's very, very nice man. But I mean, I guess I was just hanging out with Dennis Rodman. So in some ways it's like,

Rodman, if I didn't get starstruck by Rodman, which I did a little bit, he's also six foot seven inches tall, of course, you know. Also he knows about cock talk about cocky. I Mean talk about it Talk about cock knees when you're number 91 the worm Yeah Yeah, is that why they call them the worm? I'm not actually I think that was because he's kind of hard to wrangle Why did that?

It's easy to wrangle worms. Worms are easy. Just pick them up. Not a big one. No, not a big earthworm. Look, a worm is just a land eel. That's all it is. It's just a land eel. We're closing every loop. We've closed every loop.

We got cockerels. We got land eels. Yeah, I think we've closed every loop. I think it's time to stop. I think it's time to stop. I think we've closed them all. I think we's time to stop. I think it's time to stop. I think we've closed them all. We started with Eels and we'll finish with Eels. And I'm very delighted that you, that you did the show again. Or are you kidding? I would do the show every day. Whatever the show is. It's not a show though. It's not a show. I would talk to you every

day, whether someone was listening or not. Well, that's one of my favorite things about you. And in fact, whether someone was listening or not. Well, I'm always having to do that. And in fact, when are you next to back East or, or I'll actually be back East either late in the fall or January. I, uh, speaking of things that are always happening. I've written a musical that is going very, very slowly. Um, but at some point, Broadway musical, Broadway musical. I've written the book of the musical of trading places, the old movie.

So it's been very, very fun. I was hoping you were going to say it was about Aaron Burr as a kind of, you know, counter piece to Hamilton. By the way, that's a fabulous idea. Why don't you do that? Oh, I love the idea. Aaron Burr, I've just read Gore Vidal's biography of Aaron Burr. Have you ever read it? I have not. You have to. It's... Have you ever read it? I have not. You have to. It's

amazing. Yeah. Amazing. I mean, when people talk about the election now, this has never been like this. I go, wait a minute. When Aaron Burr was the vice president, he was on trial for murder and treason and still the vice president. He ran away to New Orleans to raise an army to try and become the emperor of Mexico. Mic drop to everybody that's doing stuff today. Okay. I did not know the emperor of Mexico stuff. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. See, I think there's a great musical in there with Aaron Burr as the hero and Hamilton, you know, is the other side of the story. I always remember when I saw Hamilton, the first time I saw Hamilton I talked

to you after, I was like I saw Hamilton and I loved it and you were like do you think that they say son of a whore and a Scotsman that it was a little derogatory? Well a little bit. Because the way he says whore and a Scotsman. Whore and a Scotsman, like what could be worse If whore's not bad enough, scotsman! Oh, oh, oh! How can the bastard son of a whore and a damn, is he worse? A scotsman? It's like taking an eel and you put it in jelly.

Jelly, meat, eel. And scene. And scene. Get the hell out of here, Tom Lennon. Ah, I love you, Craig. I love you Craig. I love you too. Hey, I'm Gianna Predenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.

There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Morrie Tehary-Pore. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all, Nimmini here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop. Get the kids in your life excited about history

by tuning in to Historical Records. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. This week, I interviewed Shawn Mendez. He started out sharing covers online, and now he's one of the biggest names in music. He also uses his platform to raise awareness for causes he cares about,

like mental health and climate change. The reality is I don't have a deeper understanding of life. I just have a deeper acceptance of self. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.