Judge John Hodgman - Arby's-tration

Episode Date: May 4, 2011

Is it appropriate to ask a cab driver to take you through a drive-thru after a long night of drinking? Take a ride in the Justice Cab to find out.

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. This week, Arby's Tration. Nick brings the case. He says that his friend Brandon is prone to getting drunk, hiring a taxi cab, and then requesting that the taxi cab go through the drive-thru on its way to his house. He says that this is an inappropriate thing to ask of a hack. Brandon says that it's perfectly reasonable. After all, the taxi driver is getting paid. Who's right and who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge Sean Hodgman enters the courtroom. Buckle up, everybody. This is Justice Cab. Bailiff Jesse, will you please start the cab and buckle up the defendants and the complainants and

swear them in? Gentlemen, please raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that as a resident of Brooklyn, he can walk to everything important and basically never has to get in a vehicle of any kind? I do. Very well. Judge Hodgman? Jesse, are they buckled in?

Yes, they are. Okay, good. So I am now starting Justice Cab, and let's go. First of all, by the way, I do live in Brooklyn, and I don't need to get in a cab very often, but I do have a wonderful Game of Thrones pedicab that they sent me. I get to ride around in the Iron Throne. Who is the complainant? Is it Nick? That's me, yes, Your Honor.

What is your complaint about your friend, Nick? Well, what happened was we were out at the bar having a few drinks, and when two in the morning rolled around, none of us were in any condition to drive, so we hired a cab to get us home. Responsible. And Brandon decided that it would be a good idea for us to ask the cab driver to go through the Wendy's drive-thru in order to get some spicy chicken nuggets. First of all, clearly none of that is a good idea, but go on.

And I complained that that was an improper use of a cab driver, and that the cab driver, their sole purpose at two in the morning is just to get you home and they don't need drunk people in the back of their cab wanting to go through drive-thrus and and just generally being jerks and uh and i complain that uh the cab driver would just make more money if they could just take people home and and drop them off and also that if you monopolize a cab by making them sit through a drive-through at three in the morning, then there's other people who are waiting on the side of the road

who need cabs, who may then go drunk drive or, you know, what have you. Okay, and you're drunk now? Yes, of course. Because just the way you were rambling on and on made me think that perhaps... And how often has this happened, Nick?

Well, I'm quite certain that Brandon would do this any time that it was two in the morning, and he had a hankering for spicy chicken nuggets. But this has happened one time. Yes. And you guys got into an argument in the back of the cab over this sort of angrily spitting chicken nugget at each other while you discussed the fine points of this ethical conundrum? Well, actually, oddly enough, the Wendy's was closed at that time. So how dare you, Dave Thomas? All right, Brandon, how do you defend yourself? Did this happen?

First of all, this did happen. And I did ask the cab driver and it has happened before when, when the establishment was not closed. So I have done it successfully in the past. When the establishment was not closed and you didn't have your nitpicky friend in the cab with you? Precisely. This guy must be a lot of fun to drink with, by the way. You didn't leave enough tip and you ordered it wrong. Well, exactly to that point.

Well, exactly to that point, when he says the cab driver doesn't eat a lot of loud jerks, that argument presumes that I was asking the cab driver to do this in a jerky manner. When in fact, in any situation where I would do this, I would approach it in a respectable manner, both asking him if he would do this, and it's okay if he doesn't. If he did, I would also offer to buy him any food he wanted. Just a little role play here, because we're driving around here in the Justice Cab, and we're driving along, and you guys are obviously drunk or high, and you've just come from a bar. What city are we in? Encinitas, California.

Encinitas, where the bars are open to 2 a.m., but where Wendy's, very wisely, is open until 1.59. All right, so I picked you up, and you guys are inebriated. What is your drink of choice? Probably gin and tonic. I'd say beer. That just gets worse. All right, fine.

And where were you drinking your gin and tonics and your beer? Any one of a number of bars in Encinitas. Any one of the quinine palaces of Encinitas? And you guys are both 21 years old? You're both of age? Yes. What are your ages? 28. 28 years old? 27

years old. Okay, and you love Wendy's. Alright, I get the picture. Okay, so you've just left the bar. I'm driving you to your destination. How far away is it? Probably a five-minute cab drive at most. Oh, so you could have walked home, huh? Yeah, but in our condition, and there's not a lot of sidewalks, you kind of have to go

through a field and a train track, so it'd be wiser to take a cab. You have to drive through a field and a train. And what? What is going on in Encinitas? Does Encinitas exist after the apocalypse? All right. So you're driving along and, and, and, and, and is the Wendy's on the way? Yes.

It's a slight deviation, but only by like a block. Okay. So I'm the cab driver. You go ahead and make your pitch. Would you, would you mind? I'm sorry cab driver. You go ahead and make your pitch. Would you mind? I'm sorry, what? Would you mind if we drove through Wendy's on the way back? It's just down here by about a block.

What did you say? I'd be happy to buy you anything. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. What? I understand if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you could drive us through this Wendy's over here on the right, and I'd be happy to buy you anything you would like. That's how you do it? Well, there would probably be a lot more. Whatever the opposite of passive-aggressive is, after I've been drinking, I tend to get very friendly.

Oh, okay. So let's really do it. Swig down some Ginny Quinine and let's really role play here. Come on. See, I think that you think that you're friendly. Be quiet. I'll order, I say. Hello, sirs. Thank you for hailing my cab. Where are you going?

We're going just down here on Encinitas Boulevard, about three blocks. Oh, I see. I'm going to drive you three blocks. Do you not have use of your legs? Yeah, but we've... No, no, no problem, my crippled friend. I will drive you wherever you wish. I will start the meter now. Here we go. Nice weather we're having. Oh, what is that? You wanted to say something to me? Oh, well, yeah. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind, there's a Wendy's down here just on the right by about a block. If you wouldn't mind driving through, it's okay if you don't want to, but I'd be happy to buy you anything you like. My concern only, my dear passenger, is that bringing you to Wendy's greatly increases the probability that you are going to vomit spicy chicken in my taxi cab. Is that going to happen? It is not going to happen. And where is this Wendy's? I don't see it anywhere.

How much time will it add to this trip? It will take about three minutes. You are quite the charmer. Thank you, sir. Now, what was the problem with that interaction? Well, that interaction... Is that how it went down? I'm sure it went down just like that. It didn't quite go down quite like that. Now, all right. Now, I'll be the taxi driver. You be Brandon. Do your version. This is like Rashomon. Right, Jesse? Yes. Or Berlin Alexanderplatz. One man's Rash Jesse? Yes, or Berlin Alexanderplatz.

One man's Rashomon is another man's Berlin Alexanderplatz. If Rashomon proved anything, it was that. All right, go ahead. Hey, do you mind if we go through Wendy's? We want to get some spicy chicken nuggets. Do you want anything? You sound like a terrible drunkard, sir. I do not want any Wendy's, thank you very much. That is disgusting non-food.

Why do you want this? Because I'm drunk. I feel obliged to do what you say because you are treating me as though I am your servant, as though I am some kind of robot who must do whatever you ask. This dehumanizes me, and yet I have a family to feed myself, whom I would like to feed actual food. And so I must take you, 28-year-old person who should know better and should start eating actual food, to this terrible place. Oh, I see the Wendy's is closed. This is the humiliation that I have prayed for.

Now may I get on with my life and get you out of my cab as quickly as possible before you urinate or do something bad in the back? Thank you very much. What do you tip a cab driver, Brandon? I mean, depending on the fare, probably. Yeah, no, I figure depending on the fare. Like for this ride, it would have been about $5. I would have probably tipped him another $5. Thank you very much.

Does that mean Justice Cab has hit a pothole? I apologize. I do not know what that was. Oh. Nick, was that your duck call of complaint? I think it might have been my phone. I apologize. Okay.

No, not to worry. The fare from Quinine Town to apartment by the desolate field by the old abandoned train tracks is normally, if you took the direct route, three blocks, how much? It would be $5. Have you ever gone home without going to Wendy's? Is this a fair question? Would you ever know? Yes, I have.

Okay. So that would be about, well, how many? About $5. Thank you very much, Nick. It was a simple question, but I forgot that your friend is drunk all the time. Brandon, if you were to stop at Wendy's, how much would the fare be? Given the extra time, the fare would probably be eight or nine. And how much do you normally tip? 30 to 40%. Whether or not you're bringing disgusting chicken into the cab?

No. Add chicken to the mix, and how much are you tipping? 100%? My gratefulness would kick in, and I am inebriated. So it would probably be somewhere around 70%. And Nick, has the cab driver ever said, no, I don't want to do that? See, I don't think the cab driver ever would because the cab driver is working to get a better tip. All right. And now I'm going to be Brandon and Nick, you be the cab driver and you act the way the cab driver acted. This is sort of like hypnosis therapy because you obviously have no memory of this event whatsoever. Or, you know, you have shady patches of memory, just flash memories of certain things happening. But you really need to probe this experience for me to be able to judge you properly.

So let's go back. Close your eyes. I'm going to count to three. When you awaken, you will be your friend, Brandon, and I will. No, I will be your friend, Brandon, and you will be the cab driver and you will do and say exactly what the cab driver said three two one hey buddy uh whoa you're driving fast are you okay yeah i'm great i'm great i'm great i'm great i'm great i'm great but you know what would be great? Some spicy chicken. What's a place that's disgusting around here? Nick, what's that place that's disgusting? Oh yeah, Wendy's. Take me to Wendy's. I owe all this money.

Take me to Wendy's to get some chicken. I promise you more money. I think you might need to go home, sir. Listen, you subhuman. I'm the boss. I'm in the back of the cab. You're in the front of the cab. You press the buttons, make it go. I tell you where. Okay? Let's go. Please don't degrade me, sir.

I'm just driving a cab. I do this for my family. Look, buddy. You know how much quinine I had tonight? I can't get malaria. There's nothing you can do to me. No mosquitoes can get me now. Just get me to get some chicken,

or I'm going to report you to your boss nick back me up on this that's exactly how it went down brandon is that how it went down in my defense i have to say the first time he said no if he did say no which he didn't i would have completely dropped the matter what did he say he said okay act it out so i can hear it i need to be there this is a situational decision that i need to make everything depends on context in this situation right because it's sort of like a crime of passion if this was premeditated cruel chicken getting i might have to rule against you uh if you forced this guy as though he were a chicken getting automaton for you, and you dehumanized him in a way because

you are a 28-year-old drunk jerk who's so flush with cash that he's going to take a car to the Wendy's before going home instead of walking across the train tracks to his bed, then I might find against you. But if it's in the moment and you've had a few gin and tonics and you're malaria free and you're having a great time, you get in the cab, the cab moment and you've had a few gin and tonics and you're malaria free and you're having a great time, you get in the cab, the cab driver, and you have a connection, you guys are talking about this, that, and the other. It's a wonderful cab. You're in control of your faculties and you say, you know what? I would really love some chicken. How would you, would you mind stopping over here and getting some chicken? I'll make it worth your while. Is that okay?

Then that's a different situation. And if the cab driver says, sure, of course, no problem. That would be fun. I love chicken. Then that's a different situation than, okay, I guess I will. You know what I mean? So what was his reaction? And did he get chicken?

His reaction was acceptance. I will say- No, no, stop it. Brandon, I'm going to find against you. If you do not act this out, I'm going to find against you. That is a warning to you. Do you want me to be your scene partner? I'm going to be against you. If you do not act this out, I'm going to find against you. That is a warning to you. Do you want me to be your scene partner?

I'm going to be you in your best possible facility. Well, Nick, I have to say this. Pull it out. This is my line now. Shh. Well, Nick, I have to say that was quite a fun little bar. Thank you for taking me there. I enjoyed those gin and tonics quite a bit.

You know, in fact, I think that having a few drinks has made me a little bit more witty, and I want to solve some crimes now. What do you say, old chum? Wait a minute. It just occurred to me. I believe there is a Wendy want to solve some crimes now. What do you say, old chum? Wait a minute. It just occurred to me. I believe there is a Wendy's establishment on the way home. My good man, what is your name? Stephen.

I see. Thank you very much. Now that I know your name, I can treat you like a human being. I would love some chicken nuggets right about now before I go off and solve some crimes with my partner here and our little dog Asta. How do you feel about that? How far is it? Well, it's just along the road here.

It'll be an extra three minutes, and I'd be happy to tip you 70% more. If you'd like some disgusting food, I'd be happy to buy you some. Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. But you know where it is? Oh, of course I know where it is. It's the Wendy's. I can practically see it from here, because everything in Encinitas is three blocks away

from each other. Okay, okay. That's fine. Oh, there we go. Are you sure I can't get you something? No, no, no, really. I'm fine, but thank you. You know they make triple hamburgers here, my friend. I didn't, but...

Tell me about your family, then. And scene. Nick, is that pretty much an accurate representation of what went down? Yes, it was. All right, I believe I'm ready to make my ruling. I'm going to make my ruling. I'm just going to pull off here in the Justice Cab to the Arby's, and I'm going to go in and think this over, some delightful three-day-old roast beef. Please rise as Judge Sean Hodgman exits the courtroom. Nick, how do you feel about how you presented your case? Well, it was hard. I didn't know that we were going to

be doing the role-playing. That sort of threw me, but I feel that truth will win out in this, I hope. Brandon, do you feel that acting skill was too important to determine it in this highly important court case? I was not prepared for the improvisation that was taking place. How do you feel about your chances? I knew going in that I would be, you know, the drunk in the situation. And I was I was hoping that my defense of how much you were drinking because because of how much of a drunk I was. And and I'm glad Nick stuck up for me a little bit in that I did approach it in a good way. And this is more a question of social graces than this particular situation. And I appreciated that the

judge saw that as a matter of context as well. Well, please rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom. Well, my young friends from California, are you prepared to meet justice animal style? I am. All right. I've thought this over quite a bit. First of all, I can tell you, you are both terrible actors. You gave me nothing to work with. I had to carry our scenes completely on my own, and I just don't think that that's, I think that's something you're both going to have to work on. What do you do for livings? I'm a student. You're a student of physics,

a student of criticizing friends. All right. And physics and Brandon, what are you? I do some web design work and I work part-time at a physical therapist's office. I see. Nick, I'm just going to ask you one more question before I give the reading and I work part-time at a physical therapist's office. I see. Nick, I'm just going to ask you one more question before I give the reading and I want you to answer as honestly as possible. Do you feel that the cab driver felt compelled against his will to do what Brandon asked? I feel that the cab driver would have a hard time turning it down because their job is based on tips. And I realize now that there was also a legitimate question that I forgot to ask, which is, and perhaps you can try to, I know that you've only ever been in a cab when you're drunk, but please try to think of the correct answer. When you get into the cab, is there a surcharge based on the ride?

In other words, is there an automatic $1 or $2 charge based on a new fare? Yeah, I think most cabs have an entry fee. You know, it's a couple of bucks usually. All right. Here's the thing. This is a completely situational thing. There is a danger here, of course, Brandon, and I must advise you to be aware of it. In a service type of situation, you to be aware of it. In a service type of situation, people can become mad with power in terms of what they might ask of somebody who can help them. And believe me, if you are someone who works in television, you get used to ordering people around to do crazy things that is not technically part of their job description. For example, I have my own personal Game of Thrones rickshaw, as you know, and I have my guy take me to places that really no rickshaw should go.

But that said, you know, when you sit down, you are entering into a reasonable human relationship. And in a cab situation, it is true what you say, Nick, that people are doing things based on tips and they may feel compelled to do things, but they're already being compelled to take you to a particular destination. The cab driver has the right to say no to an additional stop beyond what was initially negotiated. But if the person asks nicely and the cab driver seems amenable to it, I do not see a problem with stopping off at Wendy's beyond the fact that you are stopping off at Wendy's. I have nothing against Wendy's per se. I just feel like it's all a little disgusting at that time of night. Do you know what I'm saying? That said, if you want to go and the cab driver says he's okay with it or she's okay with it, then I really don't have a problem with it. But it's something you need to suss out and you might not be able to suss out properly

if you are inebriated on gin and tonic. If the cab driver really doesn't want to do it, you need to be able to use your best sense of social graces and not push it too far. In this case, I feel though, I have to say, Nick, if your friend had a habit of doing this serially, and in a way that was almost flaunting of his power as the consumer in this situation and was ordering the guy not just to go to Wendy's, but to go to the In-N-Out on the other side of town, not just to go to Wendy's, but to go to the In-N-Out on the other side of town and then circle back to Wendy's for a dessert and then maybe hit the Taco Bell and then the Pizza Hut and then the Taco Bell that is also a

Pizza Hut. And I think that then you would have a much more solid case, especially since you're right that the cab driver can pick up a new fare and will be getting extra dollars for each new fare he has. So there's an incentive for him to turn it over. However, since you are going from a bar to your home and in distance of exactly three blocks, frankly, I think the guy would be grateful for the additional time on the meter, the opportunity to get chicken. And it does sound like Brandon is the most important thing you can be in life, which is a generous tipper.

It is one of the smallest things you can do that means a lot to another person. So I'm afraid that I cannot find in the favor of Nick in this case, although Brandon, I think, is on the cusp of becoming drunk with power. So far, he is in that department, and in that department only, still sober. This is the sound of a gavel. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Nick, how do you feel about the ruling? Well, it was tough, but it was fair. I agree that it's a situational thing. And certainly, Brannon is a good guy and tips well and would not mean any harm

towards any cab drivers. And I haven't seen him get drunk with power yet, but I will be there to keep him in check if that becomes the case. Brandon, Wendy, seriously? Yeah, well, it was the closest thing. And like you said, I did not want to take him way out of the way. It was not that important to me, but it was very close. And the chicken nuggets aren't bad. Listen, friends in the podcast audience who are of age and are moderate and responsible drinkers. If you go out to the Pub or Tavern for a night of social conviviality, and then you find that you are hungry and the tavern itself no longer serves food,

and you take a cab home, which you should do. May I say, no offense to Dave Thomas and his Wendy's empire. Why don't you just go home and make yourself a grilled cheese sandwich? Because nothing is better in life than that. Except for perhaps love and children. That is my other ruling for today. Judge John Hodgman rules. This is another gavel.

That is all. That wasn't just a gavel. That was a tune yard song. Gentlemen, thank you for joining us on the Judge Sean Hodgman podcast. Thank you. Thank you very much for having us. Jesse, I'm just going to pull the justice cab over here and just take a little rest under this bridge while this horrible rainstorm passes. Do we have any dockets, anything on the docket that I can clear while we're here?

Absolutely. We have actually a variety of cases that revolve around this week's theme, which is transportation, driving, and rules of the road. Okay. Here's one from Nick, a different Nick from our complainant. My wife and I have a dispute regarding merging while driving, to which I hope you can apply your judicious wisdom. We have been married for the better part of a year and a half. And during that time, she has asserted on multiple occasions that merging, particularly whilst in traffic, must occur in the following way. Cars from each lane should alternate turns when combining into a single lane. turns when combining into a single lane. My opinion holds that cars should move whenever there's enough room in a more organic process. What say you, Judge Hodgman? Well, judging from the use of Wilst in that letter, I must presume that these people are from

either England or the British Commonwealth, and therefore they drive funny to begin with. You know, it is my tendency when there are married couples to find in the favor of the female spouse, because the husbands are usually very dumb. But in this case, the husband is absolutely correct. While the idea of two lanes merging into one, one by one, one by one, is incredibly poetic. It's just, you know, unless you are telepathic, you can't organize such a thing. You just have to kind of take it as it comes. And everyone needs to take their opportunity because, frankly, everybody pulling over and drawing straws to figure out who goes next would simply take too much time. Here's one from Tim. He says,

Dear Judge Hodgman, I firmly believe the driver should control all aspects of a vehicle, including the heater and radio. As has been witnessed by my girlfriend's actions time and again, she disagrees. Tim is a monster. No. Simply because you have the ability within your hands to kill both you and your partner. That does not mean that you are not two humans sharing a small room who have to figure out a way to get along together. And I think that insisting that you must control the radio and or the heating and the other person cannot. And you have absolute veto power over that.

And you're holding both of your lives hostage to your veto power, that's sick. Just figure out a way to get along. Stop it. We have one final case. This one actually is a little bit outside of the bounds of our other cases. It comes from Sean Dermond, Esquire, he points out. He says, if you'll excuse the unorthodox nature

of this dispute, this is one between myself and you. Oh my gosh. After hearing the latest podcast, I feel more than a little shortchanged that when my friend and I had a photograph taken with you this January, there was no bodily contact. Were we clothed at least? I'm looking at the photograph now.

Not only are you clothed, but your upper lip is clothed with that ridiculous mustache you've been wearing lately. You stated, and I quote this from Sean's letter, there has to be some sort of bodily contact to prove it has not been photoshopped. I usually do a

handshake. There was not even a handshake. In fact, your folded arms indicate an aversion to us. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I am therefore suing you for an autograph. Not a glossy 8x10 with your name scratched on it with a sharpie, but

a nice piece of stationery signed preferably with a fountain pen. Now, as anyone who has seen more than one episode of Law & Order could spot the gross conflict of interest in you trying a case in which you are the defendant, I request that you recuse yourself and perhaps Bailiff Jesse could preside instead. Or you can just send me an autograph. P.S. While I have no dispute with Bailiff Jesse, I would joyously accept an autograph from him as well.

This guy is star friender number two. Yeah, this guy's making power moves here. Boy, oh boy. Well, my defense is that the photograph in question, which I remember it being taken, is obviously photoshopped. I did have my arm around this guy, but he photoshopped it so that he made my arms look crossed in order to sue me for an autograph. This has happened to me five times. So it's up to you to decide. Okay, well, Judge Hodgman, I am going to sentence you to not an autograph because I don't like this guy's tone. But instead, one of those things on a 3x5 card where they use for charity.

Yes. No, one of those things they use for charity auctions You're going to have to put on some of your wife's lipstick And kiss a 3x5 card And then spray it with shellac And send it to Sean Wait a minute, what? Just let me sign a thing to him

No, no, because I don't like his tone I don't want to give him what he wants Why are you punishing me because you don't like his tone? This isn't a punishment, you know you're going to enjoy it I don't have lipstick And I don't have 3x. This isn't a punishment. You know you're going to enjoy it. I don't have lipstick and I don't have three by five cards. Those days are over, Jesse. The days when you would dress up like a lady

so you could record the recipes from the lady's home journal and file them away. Those days officially ended last Thursday. Do you have a fountain pen? Yes, I do. Okay. Then just send him an autograph.

This is, you know what? I'm going to do what you say, Jesse, because I respect you, but I'm going to just say. And you deputized me. I did. I deputized you above. I'm just a judge. You're a justice. But I will say this.

I know this photograph and I remember it being taken. But I will say this. I know this photograph, and I remember it being taken. And the fellow who is on the far left of the photograph, and anyone can look at this at the Judge John Hodgman section of MaximumFun.org, is a really nice young fellow who helped me with a television project and was terrific. And not only would I shake his hand, but I would hug him any day of the week. But Sean R. Dermond Esquire is just some dude who happened to know this other guy. Do you know what I'm saying? And he got between us, me and my friend. That's why I had my arms crossed. I was a little annoyed. So I don't see why I need to give this guy an autograph. This is a dangerous precedent that you're setting because now it's suddenly like you made me sad one time inadvertently in a bar you now owe me something that's not okay well that's why i tried to make

you give him something that you would have on hand already which is to say a three by five card with an imprint of your lips making a kissy face look i will find something to send to this guy it will involve my signature and it will maybe involve lipstick and I'll make everybody happy. But listen out there in the listening audience. If you take a picture with me and I don't fondle you in some way, please understand that I'm a human being. I'm not just a minor television personality. And sometimes I forget the one thing that I said on the podcast that makes you feel like you've earned the right to a sweaty palm grip from me. I'm happy to take a photo with you. And if I cross my arms, it doesn't mean that I hate you the way I hate

Sean R. Dermond. It just means that I forgot. Okay? Well, we'll see you next time. Judge John Hodgman just got ruled on. The Judge John Hodgman podcast is a production of MaximumFun.org. Our special thanks to all of the folks who donate to support this show and all of our shows at MaximumFun.org slash donate. The show is produced by Julia Smith and me, Jesse Thorne, and edited by Matt Gourley. His great podcast, by the way, is called Super Ego. You can find it in iTunes or online at gosuperego.com. You can find John Hodgman online at areasofmyexpertise.com. If you have a case for Judge John Hodgman, email us and be sure and include your telephone number. The email address is hodgman at maximumfund.org.

If you have thoughts about the show, you can always comment on it on our message board, forum.maximumfund.org. If you have thoughts about the show, you can always comment on it on our message board, Forum.MaximumFun.org. We'll see you online and next time right here on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.