Judge John Hodgman - Early Man

Episode Date: April 18, 2012

Troy believes in never being late for an appointment, party, or movie -- but in striving to avoid tardiness, he's swung the other direction and arrives extra-early. His insistence on being early is driving his wife Carmen crazy. Should they stick to their early bird ways, or should Troy live a little less by the clock?

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. This week, early man. Carmen brings the case against her husband Troy, who's made a personal and family habit of always arriving early, whether it's for parties, movies, weddings, or doctor's appointments. weddings or doctor's appointments. Carmen believes Troy's habit tips the scale of politeness when they arrive 30 minutes early and surprise a host preparing food. Troy says an early or punctual arrival shows enthusiasm and allows you to help out with preparations. Should their household stick to their early bird ways or should Troy live live a little less by the clock only one man can decide please rise as judge john hodgman enters the courtroom husbands and wives are fighting with husbands wondering will they ever get justice tonight that's the theme song of this one

please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that as a resident of the South Pacific, he's always one day ahead of everything? Yes, I do. I also do. Very well.

Judge Hodgman? This is Judge John Hodgman speaking to you from your future here in the South Pacific. Speaking to you via ham radio in my private island. That's a radio he made out of a ham. It's a radio I made out of ham

and I am sitting on my ham chair and I am entirely nude. This is my new lifestyle, and I am committed to it. And down here in the South Pacific, things are pretty easy going. People don't really set times for when they show up, and when they do set a time, it is customary to show up 17 hours later and wake people up and make them come down and have a liquor party but where do you guys live madison wisconsin in madison wisconsin the capital of wisconsin yes a town where i recently was and enjoyed very much wonderful were you there at the show at the

majestic we were thank you very much we were in the front row. Oh, dear. I'm sorry. You threw a chair at us. I was returning a chair to you. That's true. That's true. And what time did the show start? It started at 8. And what time did the show begin? Oh, I would say 8.

What time did we say the show would start? 8. And what time did we begin the show? 8.05, I think. And what time did you get to the theater? I think it was six, six o'clock. And was that your choice, Carmen, or Troy's choice? Oh, it was Troy's choice.

I see. But you did get very good seats, did you not? We did. Excellent seats. Very good. Troy, would you please describe the room you're sitting in right now for our listeners? I have a room that is full of swords. I have at least 10 swords on the walls.

I have spears, knives, and other things. It's an art studio for myself, and I also have two little rabbits and myself right now. And despite, and are these samurai swords, sir? Most of them are European or fantasy created. I do have a Civil War saber sword as well. And despite all of your fantasy swords and Confederate memorabilia and your rabbits, you did find someone to marry you. Is that correct? I did. She's a special lady. I actually

met her in a comic store. Oh, dear. How did that happen, Carmen? Are you a comic book fan? Or are you just one of those ladies who loves to troll around for a nerdy husband? I like comics. At the time, I was newer to them than I am now. And that's Troy's doing. But I was actually dating someone else when I met him oh really so you you did did uh well I don't get personal but did you break off your previous relationship to be uh with the beast master himself I did eventually and then I did it again what do you mean what well we broke up um after about a year and then uh we had other relationships that were quite long. And then we, over Facebook, we met up again.

And I immediately left the man I was with for Troy. Wow. So how long have you guys been together? Well, the second time, we've been married for a year and a half. Okay. And we got together about four years ago. Oh, okay. And so this relationship is tried and tested, like Valyrian forged steel.

It is. All right. It's Excalibur. And what do you collect? Crossbows? No. I don't know what I collect. I don't think I collect it.

Well, books, Troy would say she collects too many books. Go ahead, Troy. Will you say that please? She collects too many books. No, no, no. Do the voice. She collects too many books. What sort of books does she collect?

Uh, mostly history books. She doesn't collect them. She reads books. She has books. She reads them, but she won't get rid of them. She does. Oh yeah. You know what? You know, guy with a wall full of swords? Shut up. To be fair, his swords are for art. What is your art and your art studio for?

Are you a team leader on DeviantArt or something? No, I'm a fantasy illustrator. Somewhat failed at that, but I'm relaunching my career with a fantasy humor illustration guide. Okay. I understand. And you know what? Because you are so game about talking about the swords on your wall, you can go ahead and say what this thing is going to be. We're just going to buzzmark it out of the way so you're not going to try to stick it in later.

Well, I won't waste too much time with it but it's just basically it's a it's a fantasy illustration guide uh kind of making fun of the industry itself and all of my failures that i've had over the years trying to break into the market and the market primarily is illustrating magic the gathering cards now that is correct that is that is the top that's the top level right yes it Yes, it is. It's big. It's hot stuff. What is the problem exactly, Carmen? Your husband wants to arrive at places early. Yes. He routinely will make us arrive at places between 30 and sometimes 40, 45 minutes early.

It's embarrassing. And I have tried to compromise. You know, I've tried to say, well, maybe we can just get there like 15 minutes early, but it never works out that way. Well, specificity is the soul of narrative, my dear. Please explain to me a situation, a precise situation where this happened. Okay, so on May 20th of last year, we had a wedding to attend. Yes.

And the wedding was going to be catered by one of Troy's favorite restaurants. And so he was very excited about it, and he didn't want to miss the buffet. However, usually at weddings, you have a cocktail hour. Right. And I tried to explain to him that you're not going to miss the buffet, sweetheart. You know, they want us there at five o'clock for the cocktail order. That's when we should get there. Well, I'm a Bauman.

Were you skipping the ceremony? Yes, we weren't invited to the ceremony. We were only invited to the reception. Okay, very well. So I'm a Bauman now. And so Troy said, you are a Bauman. This is the Bauman way. We're going to get there a half hour early.

Well, so he dropped me off a half hour early and the reception was in a beautiful park. And then he left me alone because he had to go park the car. So I'm alone in a park in an electric blue dress with a present in my hand. And the wedding party is getting their photos taken. There's no other guests there. There, in fact, was another wedding party using the park as a background for their photos as well so i'm this weird woman walking around the park clearly i'm supposed to be somewhere right and i'm out of place and troy leaves me alone for another half hour while he walks back from the car you're a baumanuman now. I'm a Bauman now. Let's just be clear that Bauman, you have voluntarily revealed your last name, Bauman.

Oh, sorry. That's okay. It's fine with me. I just didn't want people to think that you were a member of some weird Wisconsinian sect. You could say that, though. There's an awful lot of Baumans here. Is that so?

Yes. Troy, when you came to my concert at 6 p.m., you got into the front row. Yes, I did. When you went to this wedding and abandoned your bride to the park for an hour, may I presume you got to the front of the line for that buffet? I did. Not only that, but I made very good friends with the bartender. He gave me an entire bottle of wine for free when I left that party. Troy, you were not first in line. The wedding party was first in line.

Well, I kind of, I became part of the wedding party. You didn't. Don't make stories up. What does it mean you became part of the wedding party? Okay. You got there so early and you were hanging around so desperately for so long that they had to include you in the pictures? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, we became good friends with the groom's and the bride's parents.

Yeah. Did it occur to you that they might have been confused? Why do you want to get there so early? I don't know. The main thing is I hate being late. I absolutely hate it. And it kind of manifests itself in me being everywhere early. Parties, usually you always get, you know, you can survey food and drink, best seats.

I just think it's very rude to arrive late. I don't think it's fashionable to arrive late. I think it's rude. And yes, that translates to me getting everywhere very early. But it's fashionable to arrive late. I think it's rude. And yes, that translates to me getting everywhere very early, but it is better to be early than late. All right-thinking humans would agree with you, but 30 minutes to an hour early is quite early. It is, but you understand the Baumans, they're kind of like wizards and like Gandalf that we're never late and we're never early. We arrive precisely when we mean to.

Sir, sir, sir, you are not a sorcerer and you are early. You know, I would like to point to just this week, just this past week. In fact, the night of your show, we had planned to visit with my parents before the show. And they asked us to arrive at their house after 2.30. And so Troy was itching to get on the road. This is usually what happens. He starts pacing around the house. He doesn't like to wait around for events.

And so I said, okay, fine, we'll go get some lunch. After lunch, I realized we were still way early to go to my parents. And so I said, I have to buy a belt. And so I dawdled in the store trying to get a belt. And the clerk actually helped me because she was super slow. And even then, even then, we still arrived 20 minutes early and my poor mother answers the door with like her lunch still in her mouth because she wasn't done eating lunch. And all they wanted to do was eat lunch and then visit with us. And she's not a Bauman, right? She's not a Bauman.

Are the Baumans sort of like the whites of West Virginia? I don't believe so. Are the Baumans a legendary weirdo clan who follow their own rules? We're all bird watchers and Lord of the Rings fans. We are that. we are that we are that i uh i look forward to that documentary then all right well any other habits i need to know about i don't we're avid birders and we have special pet names for our birds you know someone might say oh isn't that a lovely red-breasted woodpecker or isn't that a lovely black-capped chickadee? No, that's Stephen and Francis.

Right. You have your own taxonomy, don't you? Right. Exactly. Blackbirds, red-winged blackbirds, those are jimmies. I feel like I've just tuned into a Midwestern 20-something version of Grey Gardens. This is fantastic. All right.

You didn't come here to buzz market your feuds and your birding and your fantasy illustration career. You came to talk to me about this problem, which is that Troy always wants to arrive early. Does this apply to restaurants as well? Yes or no, Carmen? Yes, it does. And I'll tell you,

we always arrive at movies so early that either the last show hasn't even finished playing, or we have to eat, we have to stand in the lobby while the theater's being cleaned in between showings. And we always finish our popcorn before even the previews have started. Well, that's just a matter of self-discipline. Well, but if I don't, you you know i have tried to be disciplined but troy just eats it off because it's sitting there now does the uh precepts of your weird midwestern family religion allow you to take aeroplanes or is that off the list we we can take aeroplanes but i i tell you it's a long wait in an airport before that thing finally takes off. Well, yeah, certainly if you get there.

Two days in advance. No, it's like three hours. Three hours for a domestic flight? Yeah. Are you checking back? I can't stop it. I hate being late. I need to be there. It's a long wait. I can't stop it. I hate being late. I need to be there, you know? Now, look. It's hurry up and wait.

I understand that, but. Let me ask you this question. When you go to the wedding an hour early, or whatever it was, did it occur to you that you could maybe get near to the wedding, such that you know you're five minutes away, and then go have a lovely cup of coffee date with your wife. And keep an eye on the time and reset an alarm on your phone or your watch or whatever, presuming that Bowman's wear watches. And then know that you're five minutes away and just relax and then get over there at the appropriate time.

I'm going to tell you, there isn't much relaxing if i know i have a you know a time like like today i i got out of work at one o'clock to do a four o'clock taping that's three hours and i don't know i i just can't kind of turn that stuff off and carmen knows if we had gone say to have cup coffee i would have been very i would have been antsy i would have not been very pleasant i would have been looking at my my watch which i do wear i have a fine timepiece that uh don't call your watch a timepiece and don't call it a chronometer you are not you are a normal i don't care what your last name is you're a normal, I don't care what your last name is, you're a normal middle class American. You're not a steampunkist.

And you're not one of those dumb ball billionaires who collects fine time pieces. That's true. That's true. Do you, so do you have physical symptoms when, when you are anxious about being late? No, no, not really. I don't get like the cold sweats or anything. I do pace a little bit, but I just, you know, I need to keep myself busy, but no, I don't, I don't have symptoms.

I don't have panic attacks and it's all just normal. It's just sort of, I need to get there early and I have a hard time. I actually have a very hard time waiting once to get there early and i have a hard time i actually have a very hard time waiting once i get there early for things to begin what do you do what carmen what does he do like when you guys got to the theater at 6 p.m what did you what did what did you do until seven right right and so yes we stood in line and there were some other people ahead of us and we talked to them but mostly it's just silent looking at each other how does how does troy deal with being early once he's early he gets antsy and he'll he'll pace or he'll you know shake his leg or

um he's just he has some nervous habits. I don't know if he's even aware of them. You know, I'll tell you, when we were in line, these douchey dudes in the posh men's store that was next to the theater, they made fun of us. Well, what sort of things did they say? They pointed and laughed because we were so early. Oh, whatever. They were adjusting their $2,000 suspenders. That's what they were doing.

And checking their time pieces. Exactly. Look at those bowels, as I said. We were in line to see a fancy show, and they were in there in an empty store working on a friday night so i pity them were they they were just jealous now see i don't know i don't know what to believe anymore bowman's just because some guys in a men's store might point at you does not mean that they are ginning up uh hatred for you specifically it may be that they're just pointing out look at those people who were earlier i wonder what's going on over there. Maybe that's what it was, but they certainly noticed. I mean,

because it seems like one of you has an almost compulsion to be early, but both of you seem to suffer from a kind of paranoid delusion. I won't argue with that. Is that true? I won't argue with that. Is that true? No, we're not paranoid. No. No. What do you expect me to do about these posh douchebags who are pointing at you? I was just offering it as evidence.

Had we been there at a more reasonable hour, maybe the douchies wouldn't have pointed. However, maybe it was my glasses. Carmen, I want to ask you a serious question. my glasses. Carmen, I want to ask you a serious question. Do you think that your husband, who seems like a lovely guy, might have a psychological compulsion to arrive early at a thing such that he should seek help? I don't think he needs to seek help. However, I do think that because of the practices of his family, the way that he was raised,

his parents also do this. And so I understand why he wants to be this early. And I am not advocating for being late. I also do not like to be late. I come from a family of people who arrive late, and it is very rude as well. It's just we don't really have to be places, you know, 30 to 40 minutes early. That's, you know, 10 minutes early is fine. And it's not a comfort at all, Troy, to be at a place, you know, nearby and know that you can get there in a few minutes when the time comes? Yeah, I don't know. I like staking my place in line. I don't know what it is. I always

feel like I'm going to miss something if I'm not there right away. And I just for the record, too, I do feel very bad about hurting her feelings about this, making her anxious and making her feel bad by arriving so early. I just, you know, it's unfortunately, that doesn't curb me from doing it. Are you both able to drive? Yes. And do you have one or more vehicles? We have one vehicle. All right. So it's not a situation where you can go satisfy your weird primal itch, Troy, and stake your place in line, and then Carmen can come along.

No. She's along for the ride. Right. All right. I think I've got it. I'm going into my chambers and I'm going to consult. I'm going to consult my rabbits

and all of my lumberjack throwing axes and come back with a verdict in just a moment. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Troy is the defining characteristic of, you know what? I was going to direct this towards you, right?

I think I'd better direct it towards Carmen. Carmen is the defining characteristic of being a Bauman, just total insanity. I would not say total. I think you have to have a healthy dose though, a healthy dose. What. A healthy dose. What's the earliest you've ever had to show up for something? I would say an hour and a half.

Our anniversary, we showed up about three hours early. That's true. That's true. We went to Wisconsin Dells for our our first year anniversary and we were going to take a haunted boat ride and they advised us to be there about 40 minutes early and we were there what troy three hours early i'd say three hours three hours and it was a lot of waiting around i mean the ticket taker wasn't even there yet troy i gotta ask you this on behalf of husbands everywhere. And I don't mean to turn into, you know, Dave barrier, Irma bomb back here with no disrespect to those people intended, but

how do you get your wife to show up early for things? You know, I, she just, like I said, she kind of goes with it and I don't, I guess I just drive her there. And I don't know. I mean, she knew who I was when she married me. I don't know. I guess, you know what? My company is pretty awesome. And she likes to be in it. It's because we only have one car.

I got to leave when the train's leaving. Do you think that he would leave without you? Do you think that if you called him to the carpet and said, and just didn't put on a dress until it was really time to go, do you think he'd leave without you? He might. He might. He would be like, here's 30 bucks. Get a cab.

I'm leaving. That doesn't sound too bad. I mean, he's a madman she did that we went and saw jack hannah for a zoo fundraiser and she refused to come downstairs we were actually 40 minutes late to the start of that we missed all the food we forgot the camera and i didn't get to pay it pet a baby gray kangaroo that was there this is is the one thing you've ever been laid for, isn't it, Troy? In your entire life. And you're working on a novel about this, aren't you? I am.

Well, it was a cute baby kangaroo and I did not get to pet him. How many of your therapy sessions have revolved around the time you didn't get to pet the kangaroo? This is, I think this is my first. Carmen, how do you feel about your chances? I feel pretty good because, you know, this is universally seen as something that's rude.

I think he needs to curb it back. I'm not asking to be late. I'm just asking him to curb it back. I feel pretty good. Troy, how are you feeling? I feel terrible about this. Leave it at that. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom. Well, I just got done polishing all my axes and thinking over your thing. And the thing is,

I also love to be early. And anyone who has ever traveled with me, including my own wife, has had to endure the fact that I have anxiety about getting to the airport late and getting, you know, I routinely show up to the airport two hours, if possible, early for a domestic flight, even though truly an hour and a half is more than enough. And if I'm there an hour and a half is more than enough. And if I'm there an hour and a half early, I get very anxious about it. And then I'm often playing games of chicken with my traveling companions because I want to get on that airplane as soon as they call my boarding number. And the other people would prefer to continue to breathe air that is not full of other people's spit and farts for as long as possible.

So I absolutely have sympathy. I do feel the worry and know it personally that someone's going to get there before me. Someone's going to get the seat that I want. Someone's going to eat the food that I want. The resources that I'm after are going to be depleted if I don't get there on time. What if I don't get to pet that baby gray kangaroo? But in no way do I consider this to be a healthy anxiety. And indeed, I try very hard and actively to worry less about it because it is not a productive anxiety. Almost anything is okay if you're a few minutes late. And even in some cultures, it's fine if you're up to 10 minutes late or 15. I think 20

deserves a call. I do think that the amount of time that you are allowing for simple things like going to a wedding or going to the movies or getting ready to do a podcast is more time than you need to allow. And it's not just a matter of rudeness. I do think that it is personally debilitating to you. full of swords that they own, might want to just touch base with a therapist from time to time, make sure everything's where it needs to be in your brain. I'm not calling you cuckoo. I'm just saying you live in a world of your own creation and you are an artist. It is good to be able to talk to someone who is outside of your world, just to make sure that you're not feeling things that you don't need to be feeling in your life. Anxieties, that is to say. So I say that with respect, something that you can

explore if you want to. I am not a licensed psychologist. I am barely even a licensed podcaster. That said, you can arrive as early as you want, as long as you feel comfortable about it. And if it's going to make you feel comfortable, if it's not making you feel comfortable, you really should look at it. But there is one place where you cannot arrive 40 minutes early, 20 minutes early, three hours early, and that is at other people's homes, because that is truly an imposition on other humans. You can't do that to other people. If they give you a time to show up, you have to show up at that time or up to, I would say, half an hour late. Showing up early at any time

is going to drive those people crazy and they're not going to be able to finish their lunches, especially if they're not Baumans and are notoriously late people like your wife's family. So, here is my ruling. I am ruling in favor of the plaintiff, Carmen, Troy. You should consider whether or not this is a happy life for you, and if it isn't, you should consider how you can make it more happy for yourself by talking to others.

You should certainly not show up very, very, very early to personal things like dinners and parties and that sort of thing because it is awkward and bordering on rude. You should show up very, very early for my shows when I come back to Madison, Wisconsin to perform because I would like to see you in the front row and I know you'll have a lot more fun there and I'll get to throw chairs at you. And the one other exception is that you actually have to show up two hours early to haunted boat rides

because how else are you going to have the time to get on and off the boat a thousand times while chanting pure, pure, pure, pure in order to make the ghosts less angry. This is the sound of a gavel. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Carmen, how do you feel about his decision? I feel wonderful. Thank you very much, John Hodgman. Judge John Hodgman. Troy, do you think that you can handle this?

I can you know I appreciate the wisdom passed down by the illustrious Jabba John Hodgman excuse me oh I'm sorry I'm just saying I was going to say Jesse you're an excellent

C3PO and you know I just walked back out of my chambers carrying two axes for that comment, the illustrious Jabba. Well, only in power and wisdom.

I mean... Yeah, I hear what you're saying. You also have that ugly little guy with the wings dancing on you all the time. Salacious Crumb. Salacious Crumb is who you're referring to, Jesse. Sorry. I understand your intention. Your woodpeckers telepathically beamed it into

my head. Totally. You threw me to the Rancor and I escaped using the Force, but I will be a better person to Carmen and I really appreciate the help on this. Well, I'm glad that you've come around, Troy. Certain relatives that I know in certain families that are closely related to me,

but may not be related to me, my blood may have a habit of showing up to things, certain major family events half an hour early, and it may or may not make me completely insane. So I may or may not have been getting creepy crawlies on the back of my neck when you talk about showing up to places an hour early. All I'm saying, guys, is that you live a wonderful, wild, a wild and wonderful life of Bauman.

You clearly have a lot of fun together. You're obviously going to see the best shows. All I'm saying is that if you're going to keep swords and rabbits, make sure you're grounded in reality too. I'm sounding very judgmental. I don't mean to sound very judgmental. I think you guys sound delightful and eccentric and fun. And I wish you the very best of luck.

And please don't come after me with swords. Thank you. Carmen, Troy, thank you for joining us on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Sharpen my knife. I don't know.

I don't know who to fear more. Whether I got on the wrong side of the bowman's or the bird's. I'm going to jump any time I hear the tweet, tweet, tweet outside my window. I'm going to start a television anthology horror series based on the bowman's and the mysterious things that happen to them. I have an appointment that I'm going to be late for, so let's clear this docket, shall we? All right, very well.

Here's something from Joshua. He writes, Recently, my girlfriend, her roommates, and I have gotten into screaming matches regarding the proper name of flat-fronted pants in the men's fashion world. They argue that the name khaki for these pants is not only acceptable, but correct.

Blasphemous, I say. In return, I state that the proper and only acceptable name for these pants are chinos. And khaki is a color and should not refer to any pair of pants unless those pants are the color khaki. Please help us resolve this issue. If only I knew an expert on menswear that I could talk to about this. are the color khaki. Please help us resolve this issue. If only I knew an expert on menswear that I could talk to about this. You know what? I know a guy.

Really? Well, why don't you put on your pith helmet and talk to me about khaki? It's one of those who's technically correct versus usage issues. Technically, Joshua is correct. Chinos describe a pant made of a certain cotton twill. Khaki

describes a color. Exactly. And if you want to be specific and clear in your usage of the language, I think Joshua's system is better, more effective.

And when I write my menswear blog, Put This On, which you can read online at putthison.com, I will refer to khaki-colored cotton pants as chinos. But generally speaking, when someone says a pair of khakis, they were referring to khaki-colored chinos. Now, I will also say that Joshua, for all his obsession with precision of language, has referred to them as the proper name of flat-fronted pants. Obviously, flat-fronted pants can be made of anything and in any color, so he's incorrect in that sense. And khaki, of course, is borrowed from the Hindustani, meaning dust colored or ash colored, as it was the color and this particular twill were used by the British colonial army in India in the 19th century. Exactly. They had a hard time keeping their uniforms clean. And so

this may or may not be at least partly apocryphal, but they had a hard time keeping their uniforms clean. And so this may or may not be at least partly apocryphal, but they had a hard time keeping their uniforms clean. And so they used tea to dye their cotton uniforms a sort of dusty color, which would hide the dirt stains. And by apocryphal, I believe you mean vermilion. Moving on. Here's another question from Chris. My book club and I have had a dispute since its inception.

When starting the club, we discussed whether to use a five or ten star scale when rating books, and we chose five stars. Some club members have now insisted on using half stars when rating their books. It drives me crazy when, for example, someone gives a book three and a half stars on a five star scale, when clearly that would be seven stars on a 10 star scale. I fight every month to change to a 10 star scale so these half stars will turn into whole stars. Should our book club stop using half stars or should I simply stop being so anal? Well, unfortunately for you, while I appreciate your dedication to the whole star system, it is altogether more common to refer to half stars

in a five-star system or four-star system than to use a ten-star system at all, unless you are a pitchfork, in which case you use a thousand-star system. So unfortunately for you, I'm going to ratify your book club's five-star rating system, as it is pretty common. And if you argue this point further, be warned, I will saddle upon you the patented John Hodgman Book Club 17 copy of Eat, Pray, Love rating system. I like that this guy, I mean, look. Look. Book clubs are their own kind of nerdy, but I like that this guy is apparently in some sort of spreadsheet ratings based book club where everyone comes in with a number for their book. I think it may be the same guy who is compiling a spreadsheet of the best horror movies ever.

I'm pretty sure it's that same guy. Without looking at the names or making any effort at remembering, I'm going to say yes. You know what, John? I really enjoyed recording this episode of the show. I give this show 15 copies of Eat, Pray, Love. I'm in the same ballpark with you. If I can use a sports metaphor about a book club, I gave it 17 and a half Eat, Pray, Loves, which is, of course, 17 Eat, Pray, Loves and one Eat, Pra. We'll talk to you next time on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Goodbye. The Judge John Hodgman podcast is a production of MaximumFun.org.

Our special thanks to all of the folks who donate to support the show and all of our shows at MaximumFun.org slash donate. The show is produced by Julia Smith and me, Jesse Thorne, and edited by Mark McConville. You can check out his podcast, Super Ego, in iTunes or online at GoSuperEgo.com. You can find John Hodgman online at AreasOfMyExpertise.com. If you have a case for Judge John Hodgman, go to MaximumFun.org slash JJHO. If you have thoughts about the show, join the conversation on our forum at Forum.MaximumFun.org and our Facebook group at Facebook.com slash Judge John Hodgman. We'll see you online and next time right here on the Judge

John Hodgman podcast.