Judge John Hodgman - Exposition is Nine Tenths of Guffaw

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

Holly brings the case against her mother, Joelle. Joelle can’t tell a story about her day to day without cracking herself up. When she’s giggling, no one can understand what she’s saying. Joelle says talking to her daughters makes her so happy. She feels relaxed enough to let it all hang out, giggles and all. But Holly says STOP LAUGHING. She just wants to know what Joelle is talking about. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/HarryElephante for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff, Jesse Thorne. This week, Exposition is nine-tenths of Gaffa. Holly brings the case against her mother, Joelle. Joel can't tell a story about her day-to-day life without cracking herself up. When she's giggling, no one can understand what she's saying. Joel says talking to her daughters makes her so happy. She feels relaxed enough to let it all hang out. giggles and all. But Holly says, stop laughing. She just wants to know what her mom is talking about. Who's right, who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference. Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the bull-stick. Bayliff, Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in. Joelle, Holly, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

So help you, God, or whatever? Yes, yes. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he doesn't tell stories about his day-to-day? Yes. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. I never tell a story about my day-to-day. You know why?

Mystery is power. Oh, this is a lot of them. this is like a lost type thing. This is like an executive training course. I'm trying to help people reach their full potential. Don't tell anybody anything. Mystery is power. No.

In fact, I hope you will tell us everything, Holly and Joelle. We're so happy that you're here. Please be seated. Relax. And for an immediate summary judgment in one of your's favors, can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered the court room? Let's start well with mom, Joelle. Did you recognize that quote from any book, movie, song, television show?

The only thing I can think about is the Wizard of Oz. The only thing I can think about is the Wizard of Oz. I'm writing it down. Only thing is a wonderful sentence. I just wrote it down. Everyone can check on the YouTube. You get over to the sphere much in Las Vegas, Joelle. I was born there.

You were born in the sphere? Wow. I was born in Vegas. You were born in Las Vegas. You got to go back and see the Wizard of Oz at the sphere. They tell me it's very spherical. All right, Holly, what's your guess? You're the daughter here.

Joelle's your mom. I'm just getting all straightened out in my mind. Yes. I believe that you made an obscure cultural reference from who framed Roger Rabbit. Who framed Roger Rabbit? it. I'm writing it down. I wrote it down. And guess what? You're correct. Good job. Thanks, Mama. Yeah, thanks, Mama. Yeah, she did a great job. But Joelle, Joelle, I hate to say this. You're going to see this in real time. How someone who gets it

it right, feels so proud. And then watch me snatch this victory away from your daughter. I'm kind of glad it wasn't a munchkin rabbit. Why would it be a munchkin one? Because You're only, your mom can only think about Wizard of Oz all the time. It's beautiful. Joelle, do you remember whom I am quoting? Whom I am quoting? Yeah, I think that's right. Whom I am quoting from that movie?

No. Well, I lost the quote right here, so I'll just tell you. It's one of the weasels. Oh, okay. It's one of the weasels. You did such a great job. Well, thank you. You know, I did, it was my own, I took my own spin on it.

Thank you very much. I did my, my own line read there because the weasel in question has a very distinctive voice. Which I only learned today. This particular weasel is known in the script as smart ass. Pardon my friend. That's okay. I can handle it. And was performed, I had no idea.

It was performed by David L. Lander, better known as Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley, one of the great comedic actors and voice actors. And later, Jesse Thorne, I learned in his, in his life, baseball scout. Did you know that? Squiggy was a baseball scout. Wait, Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley became a professional baseball scout. In the 90s, he scouted for the Anaheim Angels and then for the Seattle Mariners, it says. That's, that is absolutely living your dreams. I, I agree.

I love a famous person that abandons it all to do something weird. Well, I mean, I don't know if this is why, but, you know, he famously had multiple sclerosis, which made his acting on screen less common than his voice acting. And I think that probably by the late 90s, he wanted to live his dream and just scout baseball, who's a huge. He's a member of the Society for American Baseball Research, it says here. Sure. Saber, I've been to their national conventions on two occasions. exactly so and uh david elander one of the great comedic actors obviously one of the great i i did not know that he had developed the two-hander lenny and squiggy with michael mckeen before leverne and shirley like they were brought on as a comedic team anyway the reason that i quoted this weas smart ass

is that later he says to the weasel stop that laughing don't you know what happens if you laugh And what happens, Holly, to weasels who laugh in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Do you remember the movie? I don't remember what happens. Do they explode? They die. Oh. Which is not going to happen here, Joelle.

Don't worry. I feel safe. But you are here because your mom laughs too much and you hate the fact that she feels joy. Is that right, Holly? It's your bringing the case again. that is close to the truth oh is it close enough or do you want to try to sweeten it up for the listeners well i do want to say that i love that my mom is a different kind of re contour than i am right but i do eventually want to know the story and almost always when she giggles through

whatever story she's trying to tell when the giggling stops the story ends and I don't ever get to find out what it was. I can attest to this as we're getting ready for this for this recording. I don't know why we started, Jesse, I don't know why we started talking about Maine. Somehow it came up naturally. I didn't bring it up. I brought it up because it's the only thing I ever think about. Yeah. It's your Wizard of Oz. It's my Wizard of Oz, exactly. And I asked Joelle if she'd ever had any fried clams and she said

no, but I would try it once. And I'm like, who would be your guests at your dream fried, you know that parlor game? Have you had a dinner party with anyone from history? Who would you eat fried clams with? Joelle, what were the answers? It was Abraham Lincoln. Jerry Lewis, and then she started laughing

and then we can hear the rest of it. Jimmy still. Jimmy still. Jimmy Stewart. If Abraham Lincoln and Jerry Lewis are known for anything, it's being good company. I've heard they can put away a lot of clams, though. Yeah, that's true. Joelle, you're accused of laughing too much through stories.

Is it true or not true? You're trying to tell a story and you crack yourself up. Yes or no? So true. What's going on? Let's do a little background here first. We reach you right now in Salt Lake City, correct? But you are born in Las Vegas in the sphere.

This is established. I believe you now live in Southern California. But Holly, were you raised in Salt Lake City? Is it your hometown or did you move there? No, my mother still lives in the same house that I was raised in. So I was also raised in Southern California. So now you moved to Salt Lake City. How many siblings do you have, if any?

I am the oldest of five girls. I'm very sorry to hear that. Too bad. What was your problem? For a brief period of time, you were an only child. Good job. I remind her all the time about it, but it was a short 15 months. What was your concern about Southern California?

Lakes too wet? No, it was that not enough tall mountains. I had to find some of the tallest mountains. So here I am. And you also are part of the Judge John Hodgman family, because one of those five siblings is a sister who wanted a surprise party, correct? Yes. And you heard about it on our members-only mailbag.

If you're a member of Maximumfund.org, you get a special Membo mailbag episode once a month where we read letters from members that maybe aren't disputes. Maybe they're just a woman saying, I wish my husband would throw me a surprise party, but he doesn't want to do it. I think that that's what happened, right? But then you heard it, and what did you do? Well, my mom happened to be in town, and so I threw, well, I asked my mom to be a decoy to take my sister Julie out of the house. And then me and my other sisters put together a surprise party and had a surprise party.

Was it for a birthday or just for a surprise? It was for her birthday, yes. That's wonderful. Well done. Thank you very much. Thank you. And now you here you are coming back to the court of Judge John Hodgman, because you're, you figure, I'm just a push over for all of Joelle's daughters.

Is that how you raised your daughters, Joelle, to resolve conflicts by going on podcasts? No. Good. At the time, John, it was to resolve conflicts by going on call-in radio programs. That's right. Call-in radio programs. Or coast-to-coast a.m. Yeah.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, I've been listening to a lot of that on YouTube. Speaking of YouTube, by the way, we're on. YouTube now, Judge John Hodgman Pod is the YouTube channel, and I only mention it right now because Holly and Joelle, frankly, reminded me that this is our first ever record from the new MaxFunhq in downtown Los Angeles. If you want to get a sneak peek into what the new studio looks like, you can go see Jesse Thorne sitting in that beautiful brand new studio right now. At Judge John Hodgman Pod, you'll also get a glimpse of me more or less clean shaven because for work, I had to shave my face and I don't like it and I'm growing it back. So if you want to see my beard grow in

on real time, make sure you go over to the Judge John Hodgman pod channel on YouTube and subscribe and hit the bell. We'll give you a notification every time my beard gets a millimeter longer. In any case, here we are. So look, Holly, you say your mom laughs too much. She's telling a story. She gets into giggle fits. You brought, I believe, a recording. I did. It is, rush from last night, and my mom didn't know that I was recording it. Oh, Joelle, do we have permission to play the recording? You do have permission. I'm glad you were able to get that out between shortels.

It was now legally binding, so maybe Jennifer Marmer, we can listen to that. And these four guys, they're a band, and then they die. But then they're ghosts. And they all fall in love with this one, girl. She's trying to say how you got you? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's not going to get on because her guts.

And so I think it's so fun. Okay. Yes. So the four, hold on. So the four guys in the band became ghosts. I understood that sort of. What is the story? Can you try telling us the story again of Julie and the Phantoms?

Phantom's such a great little show. And I just loved it. and they were so cute. And so I was trying to explain to my son-in-law and my kids about why I like this movie or a TV show and I love it so much. I got me a fan t-shirt. So there was a lot of eye rolling and head-bobbing going on about their mother being weird. And loving the show about ghosts. I've never heard of this show, Julian.

Is this something you made up? No, it's a real show once. Oh, yeah, look at that. It's a real show. Oh, it's a contemporary show. Was this like part of the great 1960s high concept sitcom era? No, it was from five years ago. Teenager Julie finds her passion for music and life while helping the phantoms, a trio of ghostly guys become the band they were never able to be.

All right. So that's all wonderful and enjoyable. Holly, what's the problem? When did this first become a problem? Let's start with there. So when I brought this up to my sisters that we were going to be coming to court about this case, they said that it's been happening for as long as they can remember.

And I agree with that. I don't know when it started, and I don't know why it started. But I do know that it, I thought all moms did this. And then when I met other moms as a child, I was really surprised that other moms could just tell stories. So there was no, there was no inciting incident, no one thing in particular that you recall. There is an inciting incident as to why I finally had to write in. Please. Because my sister Julie told me about how she went to Long Beach with her husband.

and my mom... Is this surprise, Julie, or a different sister? This is Surprise Julie. I love Surprise Julie. I love a surprise Julie story. Read on. And they were walking along the beach at Long Beach, and all of a sudden, my mom just started laughing

and, like, laughing so hard she was doubling over and then tried to tell my sister and her husband why she was laughing. Yeah. She spoke for several minutes, And when Julie was telling me later, she said, I literally have no idea any of the words that she was saying. Don't reveal what she was laughing to me yet. Okay, I won't. Joelle.

Yes. Let's go back to the beach, Long Beach, they call it. I love it. Let's do it. It's not a hypnosis session. But I would like you to go back in time and try to explain to me or just explain to me what it was you were laughing at. What made you laugh at Long Beach? Let me start off by saying, anytime I'm with any of my girls, I just, my girls are amazing and I love them.

And I just feel so relaxed and happy. So that's... Well, we'll fix that. And the beach, of course, I love that. But so I had an incident. I work in hospitality at a hotel and I had this very shocking incident happen. And I was trying to relay said event. Do you want me to tell you what happened?

Yeah, I do. Actually, no, never mind. No, sorry, Jesse, no. I'm not a curious person. Let's wrap this up. I'm getting the wrap it up signal. Yeah, well, okay. So, no, no, please, Joelle, tell us. I was working a 1.30 p.m. to 10 p.m. shift, and I walk into the lobby, and it's full of about 100 people.

And there were, so there was all these family members. And they were there from like 1.30 to 8. Then they left. And which is important. Wait, the, the lobby was full of 100 people for six hours. Yeah, they had all checked out of 25 rooms and they're visiting family. And so the important thing is that the lobby was full of people. And five, eight o'clock, they left.

Then I cleaned the lobby and rearranged whatever. And then I sat down about nine. And then the front desk is going this way and I'm sitting sideways to the front desk. And all of a sudden I hear this clicking, this clicking on the front desk. And I look over and a fully naked bag on. Uh-huh. I tell Julie's the story. She's so shocked.

And then he gave me randomly, you know, the like, do not disturb placard things? Yes, I'm aware of them. Two. So he had no clothes on, and he handed me these two. They surprised he'd. And for some reason, I am. them in my hand. And normally there's like towels and things in the back office that I could have grabbed to like, you know, wrap this man in. And there was nothing because of other circumstances.

And so I just held these placards. And I'm like, we got to get you to your room straight away. So I made it. So I could take him to the room. And I just kept holding these plaggers. So there's no way I'm getting this guy. There's no way I'm getting in an elevator with a snake man. So I put him in. No. And send him up. So he's walking down the hall, and I'm behind him holding his laughing. Now, I just, I don't want to interrupt. The thing is that Joelle is laughing so hard and so delightfully that the microphone is

muting her. Yeah. Our teleconference. I mean, I know, I know that you're recording it in Salt Lake City just fine, but over our teleconference, you know, it's, it's reading. O.L's laughter is maybe a car alarm outside, so it's muting it automatically. So here's what I got. 100 people in the lobby. They all leave. 9 p.m. You're getting ready to wait out your shift. I presume going to comment on tales from the front desk as subreddit about people

who work in hotels. And just unwind for a little bit, but you can't because you hear a click, click, click, which of course is the sound of a naked man holding two do not disturb placards. Unfortunately, there are no towels, even though it's, I'm telling you this now, Joelle, it's not your job to wrap a naked man in towels. I don't care what you should speak to your supervisor about that. That's not your job. And then you want to get him safely back to this hotel room. But here's my question. Why are you, I can understand why you're following him because he's probably in some kind of distress.

But why are you carrying the two do not disturb placards? I just kept them. And I'm so grateful I did. Because it blocked things that I didn't want to see. Oh, you were holding it up in front. Yeah. Right. Like, I just held on to them.

I don't know. I was like in shock. And so walking down the hall to his room and hold, you know, like, so the Harry Bunsey's walking ahead of me. So I'm hiding my eyeballs from the bunzies. But the, oh my goodness. So I. Did you say Harry Bunzies?

I believe she said Harry Bunzies. I'm going to take a look back at the transcript here. could we get a can we do a recap very good court clerk is confirming she said hairy bunsey's no wait a minute did the naked man bring down these placards because he was inviting you to weave a kind of loincloth out of them for him didn't ask my mind was still being blown and i just wanted to get him to his room so desperately and normally you had asked said person at the front desk who didn't have a room key for some ID so you're just not handing out room keys to any yeah you were pretty confident he didn't have any ID. He didn't have a pocket. And frankly, if he had ID,

you didn't want to see it. Yeah, right. I don't know what to say. That's one of the great stories of all time. Did he get home safely or to his room safely? It was the problem. I got him, so I booked him into the room with my. Right. Because you have, you have a, what they call a universal key, what they call in the hotel industry, a skeleton booper. You just boop it in. It boops open all the rooms. Yeah, boop is the official word. So I booped him in.

I get him into this room. Like, I'm in the hallway. Like, he walks into the room alone. And he goes, this isn't my stuff. And I'm like, mortified because. Oh, wow. Booped him into an occupied room. Thank heavens that people weren't in there.

Right? Imagine sitting in your room. Well, I'm seeing laughter. I can't. hear anything anymore. And I'm like, you stay in that room and do not move. And the Aston, his last name, ran down as fast as I could to the laundry room to get the biggest towel I can find.

And then go and figure out what room he's actually in and then have to go. And I'm like, you wrap this towel around you. And he's like waving it around and I'm like, put it around you. And then again, he's walking down the hall. Again, I'm not getting in the elevator with them. no way, right? And then get him up to his room. Well, you express that as common sense, which is correct. But I mean, you're also engaging with him very closely in every other way, though. Yeah, with the placards still. Well, I know, but I mean, I'm concerned. I mean, Holly,

you must be concerned for your mom. Wasn't there someone you could call a security guard or someone who might be able to help you handle a person who was obviously either impaired or having an event of some kind. If I know anything from the films of the 1930s and 40s, there's a house detective at every hotel. What about the house detective? Yeah, what about the house dick? It was I'm not saying something bad. That's just, well, that's a great WC. Fields movie about a house detective, the house dick. A very appropriate word for this is. Oh, I didn't think about it that way, Joelle, you got me. You got me. That was a good one. But by this time in the evening, there's Security doesn't come until 10 maintenance guys.

Got it. I am the only employee. So I just think. I think your hotel chain better reevaluate some of its procedures. I just was so grateful the lobby was empty. If the guy had come a little bit earlier, the wedding people would have gotten an unexpected show. They would have gotten a wonderful story to tell. Yeah.

I think about how much better every upcoming family reunion from there on out would be, as everyone says, remember that time we were all in the hotel from 1.30 until 8, and then a naked man came in. My goodness. So I finally get him to his room, and I come down, call the managers, I'm like, do I have a story for you? And I was laughing. And I'm like, are you going to watch the tapes back?

And she's like, I believe you. I don't need to watch anything back. And then I see him again on another shift, and what do you say to him? Dude, nice pants. I'm not going to do your attention. I just like, turn away. There you go. And I had no placards of me.

See, Joelle, John, here's the thing. Joel knows how to tag a story. Nice pants. Nice pants. It doesn't get any better than that. It's a gentle reassertion that the expectation is that he wear pants. Yes. You compliment him on what.

you want to see. I mean, Judge Hodgman, I get this because now that we have a new shot in our new studio, my pants are on camera for the first time. Who knows what's been going on down there for years in the old studio? That's right. That's right. I'm, I say nice pants and it's not a euphemism for anything. It's nice bal of pants. You can check them out over there on the YouTube, Judge John Hodgman pod. It means more to you now, right? I have many questions still. I hope the, is the guy okay? So I'm, so I just want to point out, I was, when I was telling this story, it was just like the laughter came from like shock, you know?

Of course. Fun of this man who I think was just having a lapse and unfortunate moment in his life. He's lucky that you were able to help him without, say, calling the police or. Taking pictures. Taking pictures, for example. He's lucky that you were able to mask your aspect ratio with those two Do Not Disturb cards. He brought the Do Not Disturb cards to you, right? I have no idea.

And I wasn't about to have a conversation with him. No, I understand. Well, whatever he was going through, I hope that it was resolved and that he's okay and he got whatever help you needed. maybe just a good night's sleep. The mother voice came on again when I got him into his right room and I'm like, do not leave your room tonight. That's all you say.

Yeah. You put what? We don't need a hotel hotel detective when we've got a house, mommy. Tell him what's what. See you later. Hope you have a good night. You still work the 1.30 to 10 p.m. shift?

I work all the different shifts. All the different shifts. Graveyard morning. Holly, what do you do for a living, if I may ask? I am an intake specialist at a therapy office, so it's kind of like a matchmaker between clients and counselors. Got it. Do you ever ride shotgun at your mom's hotel just to see what she's living through every day? I have visited several times, and I got to see all of the water heaters, the big water heaters.

That is a dream come true. The boilers. Welcome to the boiler room. your mom took you to see the the boilers uh-huh yeah we sure did how did that come about

because I have two children and she was wanting to show them the behind the scenes of hotels and that was just the one they loved I immediately assumed that someone was participating in

an illegal high stakes poker game we could we can make that happen Ah, yeah, that's that, yeah, we can, we can, we can set up a table right there by the hot water heaters. They're really big. But Joelle, you said that you laughed because of the shock of seeing this nude man with two do not disturb placards in your hotel lobby. And I can appreciate that that is shocking. But yeah, you were telling the story on Long Beach after the fact you knew the outcome of the story.

You told the story just now. You certainly knew the outcome of the story here. You're not laughing out of shock. You're just reliving it, I suppose. Well, it is a shock. I've been in the hospitality business for 15 years. This was the first time this has happened, you know? I'm honestly, I'm surprised.

And I did feel bad for this man, you know? Yeah. Fortunate moment, but I definitely wasn't laughing. No, no, I understand. You were laughing because it was a funny situation and you were, honestly, Holly, it's a sign of a good storyteller to be able to reconjure the feeling of the moment. Yeah, if we could just add a lesson to this. this, we could get her on the moth. What did you learn from this situation? Besides, all hotel guests

should wear pants. I happened to be checking into a couple of hotels after that. I'd taken my mom on a trip. And every time I was at the front desk, I'm like, please keep an emergency towel at the front desk. Don't let housekeeping take it. You never know when you need to cover something up. I would, you know what? I don't want to tell you your business. but I think you should go back to all those hotels and upgrade it. They should have a robe. Honestly, I think keep an extra towel on hand because it's the tool of the trade of the hospitality industry

is great advice and probably how Douglas Adams got the idea for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. That's probably exactly right. So, Holly, I could understand this story. none of it felt like it took too long and I would say that I found and maybe it's just me but I found your mother's laughter

infectious and delightful why was it why did it sound like nails on a chalkboard to you so it's not just you I also enjoy it but there was a key component missing from her retelling just now and that is my sisters all of us around

I was trying to be respectful by not laughing with her so she could get the story out because if me or any of my sisters start laughing as she's laughing, it really ramps it up to the point where she's just like crying, laughing, and can't breathe. Oh, okay, so it's not merely that you want me to ban laughter in your mother's life, but your sisters as well. Love the laughter, let's let it die down,

and then we can hear the rest of the story. I think she just gets impatient like, okay, this is funny, great. I want to know the rest of the story and the eye-rolling head bobbing starts to happen. How does it feel, Joelle, when your oldest child is rolling her eyes at you? I mean, like, ugh.

It's nothing new. All right. It's very familiar. And I'm just like, and I have to keep trying to tell the story and breathe. You know, so she has to wait. would you agree holly you're the oldest of five right i sure am five girls so you five girls all so four younger sisters yeah and and joel would you agree that holly is the most humorless of them all

oh careful speak say say what you need to say because we're still love each other um holly is the most impatient most impatient yes with i was i was wondering if you would say the most serious-minded but the most impatient, interesting. With me. With you? Yes. Why do you think that is? She's the oldest daughter.

She had to deal with this, the longest. Right. And she tries to protect her younger sisters from the no-breathing mom. And she's really interested in facts. Facts and details. Are there, that's a good point, Holly. Are there details to this story that you've now heard for the first time? Are there details you still request that you still haven't heard?

I do still have some questions, but in the moment, whenever I hear her telling it, it's just a matter of, I want her to get to the punchline of the story. But there's like 10 minutes of laughter in between. What's the punchline to this story? Nice pants. Nice pants. That's right. You're right. Jesse, you're right. It's been a long time since I've diagramed a joke. You're absolutely right.

Nice pants. That's the tag. Yeah, this is the kicker. Good job. I think Holly can visualize very clearly what I look like in this situation and what I was doing in my behavior. And so she doesn't need to hear all this story because she can visualize it in her mind. Let's just get to the end. So you're saying that she is, you are giving her like an AI prompt. Exactly. She's generated. the story within her mind based on her knowledge of you. Yes. And she just wants to get to the end, skip straight to the end, and nice pants.

Yeah. And holding the placard. She's like, okay, I can see all that in my head. What's the final thing here? Let's wrap it up, Mom. Stop laughing. Let's get to the end of the story. For what, Holly?

What did you want to move on to? I have stories, too. Here we go. Yeah. Let's hear him. I want to hear something as good as these hundred people in the lobby and this guy with the two placards. To be fair, she really used her Trump card.

And I don't know if I have one as good as that. But I guess what I mean to say is that our family is very, we enjoy a good conversation. Right. And we don't necessarily need an activity when we're together because we just like hanging out and talking. Right. I mean, this is the point, right?

Like with four younger sisters, there's a lot of, that's a lot of conversation. That's a lot of people. jumping in and it might be hard to feel heard. Yeah, I don't find it as hard as some of my other sisters just because I like to album my way in and if I get bored with one of their stories, I just like tell them to wrap it up

and then we talk about something more fun. Welcome to the oldest. I was like, yo, she wants to defend her sisters. make sure that they can be heard. No. But no, you're saying you don't have the problem with them because you can just tell them to shut up. Do you tell them or do you give them a classic wrap-it-up signal

like Jennifer right off camera, wrap it up? Shut-up was not allowed in our home. So she never did that. But she's great with words and she's intelligent and smart and capable and she lets you know it when it's her turn. She doesn't say shut up. She says shut your pile hole. You want me, Holly, to order bailiff Jesse Thorne to tell your mom to shut her pie hole.

Yes or no. That is true, yes. Whoa. But, well, shut the laughter pie hole and then open up the story one. It's all one hole. Can I share one quick 15-year-old Holly's story that's very applicable to this moment? Only if it's not quick. Then we'll get my aunt on the line to tell the story of the time I was at the company picnic.

and I came in and I said, I pooped out on the beach like a dog. Go ahead. So my mom was a screamer and I decided I didn't want to be that kind of mom. And so I wanted to talk and communicate with my girls. So Holly is taller than me. I'm a shorty. And we're standing in the hallway and I'm wanting to communicate with Holly and talk back and forth about a particular situation.

Sure. She puts her hand in front of my face like an, Inch in front of my head, my face. Like that, looking down upon her mother with her hand in front of her face. She's 15 years old. Yes. Taller than you. Yes.

And she gives you the talk to the hand motion. She says, I'm done. Talk. Had two thoughts. Quick thoughts in my mind. Rip her arm off and beat her with it. There we go. Interesting.

Go in my room and shut the door. and have a silent freak out. So I'm very proud of myself in that moment. I chose the latter. And I did wish upon her that she would have this kind of experience with her teenagers. And I think she has.

And so we hold hands a lot more than we used to because... Yeah, I mean, if you're not watching the YouTube right now, pull your car over and get on the Judge John Hodgman Pod. These two have been adorably holding hands. This is pretty much the entire time.

It's one of the most touching... Now I'm wondering, you know, I'm a parent of three, and now I'm wondering if I should be going into my room and having a silent freak out when this kind of thing happens rather than... What are you joking, Jesse? You don't get a room. The alternative, which apparently is what would Ash from Evil Dead do? How do you feel when you hear that story, Holly? Because it sounds like you haven't had any difficulty shutting your mind.

mom up in the past. Why should I do your dirty work when you can just put your hand in front of her? Could you repeat the question? How do you feel when you hear that story about holding your hand in front of your mom's face and upsetting her so much? She had to go into the other room. I feel justified. Wow. Okay. Because we had already been talking before that and there is such a thing as we need to take a break and yes, I didn't do it probably the most kindly, but

I'm 40 years old now and I we could have a similar situation and I could say, Mom, I just need a break. Can we take a break? But when you're 15, you don't have that kind of emotional intelligence, I don't think. Or you get Judge John Hodgman

to be your hand for you. Yes, that is another possibility. Holly, If I were to rule in your favor, what would you have me rule? I would have you rule that my mom can tell any story that she wants, but as soon as she feels that like that type of laughter where we can't understand her, she will stop. We will like laugh together until the laughter ends.

And then she can continue her story. And I'm also suing for damages that we go on a family trip together so that then she can practice this when we're all together. What are the damages that have been caused you? I just have a life to live and I don't, I'm tired of waiting for her to stop laughing so that I can live it. Are your sisters in agreement with you or are they also part of the problem because they go laugh along with her?

Mom, would you say that when I said we were coming to court that the girls all agreed that this was a problem? yes so yeah i i feel that i am representing them in almost a class action lawsuit but i will admit it's such a blast when all of us are laughing together and can't breathe it is like magical wonderful do you think that your body is maybe unconsciously going into this giggle fit joel in order to contaminate like a contagion prompt your daughters into going into giggle fit as well and getting this beautiful giggle flow state that you love so much going no i wouldn't do that unconsciously or consciously because i don't want to irritate holly dang it yeah i'm a little scared

of holly too joel yeah so no i just am so relaxed and happy what do you think about holly's request i mean more like order proposed order that you get over your giggle fit in order to put it behind you and then tell the story without any laughter. Obviously, probably like in an AI style monotone. I appreciate that she communicates with me about that, but I got to be me, baby. I got to be me, baby. Holly, has your mom ever said to you before I got to be me, baby? Or is this something that's coming out just in podcast fever? No, like she probably said that to me, like, while I was still in the womb. Like, that, that rings very true to how she speaks to me.

Okay, so Holly, I was, even with the teleconferencing microphone issues and the starting and the stopping, I mean, I was able to understand that story and could enjoy it. So what's different now? I truly think that if I had, if we could do it again, and if my mom could tell that story for the first time and I laughed along with her, I think you would have had a different experience because she just finds me and my sister's intoxicating. You've got to go to daughter rehab. You're too intoxicated with your children. She spends enough time with her four kids. She's going to end up naked at the front desk holding. Yeah, that's what I'm going to say. Yeah, exactly. Get a little too daughter giddy.

You're wandering around the hotel nude. I've got to bring my placards. Got to bring your placards, mom. Do you think that she was just on her best behavior for the Judge John Hodgman podcast? That's why she was able to keep it tight. I, yes. To be frank, yes. And I'm proud of her for doing that because audibly it was probably better for you than the first time she told my sister Julie that story.

Got it. Joelle, do you think you'd be able to adjust your storytelling style to meet Holly's specifications in the future? I would really like to, but I don't think it's possible. And again, it depends on who's at the party. Depends at who's at the party. Well, we already know that Abraham Lincoln, Jimmy Stewart, and Jerry Lewis are going to be there eating just pawfuls of fried clams.

Boy, do those three love clams? You ever have a main steamer? It's a, not a fried clam. It's a steamed clam. You have every one of those? That's very good. You need to go to Maine. I agree with you.

You know what? I'm going to go into the main that exists in my mind. Does I consider my verdict? Okay. Jesse Thorne's going to ask you a few questions. I'll be back in a moment with my decision. Okay. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom.

Holly, at one point you got the question. What would make you believe that? that you could possibly win this case. How are you feeling right now? I am feeling justified still, and I'm feeling very bad about things going my way. I don't think they will. Joelle, how do you feel?

I feel so happy to be here with the Holy. Joel. Please be frank with me. Are you blazed right now? Have you been blazing trees? Multivitamin. Multivitamin. Well, we'll see what Judge Hodgeman has to say about all this in just a second.

Judge John Hodgeman, we are returning to San Francisco Sketchfest, our triumphant return to one of our favorite places to play. in the entire world. I look forward to it every year. Going to SSSketch Fest is just like coming home again and it's not even my hometown. I love it there so much. We are going to our home away from home

at the Marines Memorial Theater, January 18th. Please circle your calendars. And while you're doing it, go over to maximum fun.org slash events or sfscatchfest.com to get your tickets now. They are selling briskly. We also need cases to hear live on stage. San Francisco.

Oakland, Bay Area, Marin, if you're traveling over from Sacramento, up from Santa Cruz, what are some other areas? I mean, we're talking about Los Gatos. We're talking about Vallejo. Yeah. All these areas. What are you coming from? San Rafael, Sonoma.

Hit us up. Maximilfund.org slash JJHO. And let us know that you live in the Bay Area when you submit that case. Yeah, submit your dispute. We'll consider it if we choose you to be for live. on stage, we'll give you something off of our catering tray. And guess what else? It doesn't matter where you are.

If you're celebrating the holidays this year, why not celebrate it with some Judge John Hodgman merchandise from Maxfundstore.com. We got our new caps that say right and wrong. So if your spouse or your child or your parent is always right or always wrong. Or you want to switch it up because sometimes they're right and sometimes they're wrong. Exactly. this is the perfect hat for them. We also have our holiday candle

with a clean, fresh, pure justice smell. These are some of the best-looking items we've ever made. Yeah, the labels on the candles are designed by the great Aaron Draplin, and we have a wonderful designer, Tom D.J., who contributed what for us, Jesse? And if there's a cozy goth in your life, you can get them a cozy goth sweatsuit

or a comfortable hoodie. Plus, if you're looking for some special antique treasure, can go to the Put This On Shop at Put This Onshop.com, and I created a code, justice. That will get you 10% off anything you buy, including, John, you know, I just celebrated the 25th anniversary of Bullseye. Yes, I do know. Congratulations. Thank you. We created some carnival posters for the 25th anniversary. They are hand-printed in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, by this company that still prints carnival posters, the old-fashioned way, handset type and everything. I know what you're, I've seen some of them on your accounts.

They are really handsome. Go on. And they're right there in the Put This On Shop. You can get them with or without my signature. I'm glad to inscribe them for you or whatever. So go to Put This On Shop.com. There's also, of course, all the, all the classic things, men's and ladies jewelry, things for your home, lots of vintage clothes, lots of gift items at Put ThisOnshop.com.

Put This Onshop.com. Maximumfund.org.org slash events. maximum fund.org slash JJHO and of course the maxfundstore.com all these links for all of these wonderful things are right there on the YouTube page and in the show notes. Let's get back into the case. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman

re-enters the courtroom and presents his verdict. So here's a story. About 10 or 12 years ago, because time moves in one direction and boy, does it move fast. I was on the road with our friends, and Al Madrigal, Jesse. Al Madrigal, the famous comedian and actor. Alfonso Madrigal.

Really my mentor in how to try to translate my imitation of stand-up comedy into actual stand-up comedy. I learned a lot on that tour from Al Madrigal, which is first lesson was walk out there, say nothing, stare into the eyes of several audience members to let them know psychically that you own them. Al Madrigal Al Madrigal is a wise man who's not afraid to share his thoughts. Yeah, no, I got a lot of and we were also traveling around with the great Adam Lowett

who was a producer on the Daily Show at the time. Very, very funny guy also does stand-up comedy and we were all over the place. And we were in Florida and we were performing together and we had a great show and after the show we went out and then we all, it was a fairly late night

we all went back to our hotel, separate hotel rooms, real professional. And I believe that I took a mild sedative to help me sleep. And I slept really well until I woke up walking around the halls of the hotel, probably around 3 o'clock in the morning, in my t-shirt and underwear. And I did not have a key, nor could I remember what room I was in. And so I had to go down to the hotel lobby to beg forgiveness and ask for help. Along the way, I picked up a couple of do not disturb placards.

That's right. That naked man was me, Joelle. No, it was not me. This was in Florida. You're in California or wherever somewhere. The point is, it could happen to anybody. Yes. could happen to anybody could have any could be it could be for any reason and i had no i i had

no identification on me and i'm sure i looked to sight i was wearing underwear in a t-shirt i'm talking about like boxer briefs is this not kind of skivis did you have on yeah that matters who asked that question joelle thank you mom good question those were boxer briefs if there were boxers, I think it would be a little bit more acceptable. Everything was a little tidy, whitey, if you know what I mean. Specificity is the soul of narrative, as I like to say. Exactly so. And tidy, tidy whitey was always my nickname in middle school. And any case, I really felt that story and I enjoyed it from the other side. I felt

very bad for the person at the front desk who had to deal with me. But she in this case was so helpful and kind and helped me, looked at my room. I'm like, I do not have ID on me. She's like, I understand. It happens. It happens. And I love, so I loved hearing the story from your point of view. And I'm glad that that was a positive experience for you.

And may I tell you? The story was very well told now. Your beloved oldest daughter has asked me if I would give you some editorial advice. I don't think I need to hear about the hundred people in the lobby from one day p.m. Not sure what that added to the story exactly. You know what? Here's what I think. It did suggest that you had had a busy afternoon and now it was 9 p.m.

And you were ready to end your shift and you thought now it's going to be easy, you know, smooth sailing from here on out. But I do think you got a little into the weeds in your story on those hundreds of people. It was a little bit of a mystery. But other than that, I got to tell you, Joelle, no notes. perfectly told story amazing what'd you call it Jesse uh a pants line punchline a pants line is a hem a punchline is a joke right that's correct great tag to that story nice pants loved every minute of that story at no point was I looking at my wrist going when is this going to wrap up if anything I was just like this is the podcast

I quit. Jewel tells stories for the rest. Delight. And not in spite of her laughter, Holly, but because of her laughter, it's her voice. You know, storytelling is about, you know, anyone can recount events. But whether you're telling the extreme short stories known as jokes in a stand-up routine or recounting what happened in your day or you're writing a short story or you're trying to tell a story professionally or whatever. It's like, you've got to find your voice. People are listening to the voice. Jesse Thorne knows because, you know, I kidnapped him, brought him up to Maine.

I don't think it was fried clam season, but you had a nice time in Maine, right, Jesse? It was wonderful. No fried clams, but we had a great time. Would have been better if Jerry Lewis was there to be clear. I know. Well, that's in there on, yeah, Jerry Lewis is on my fried clam eating bucket list as well. The famously personable, Jerry Lewis. Yeah, that's the weak point in your scheme there, Joelle.

I'm not sure you really want Jerry Lewis clams or no at your dinner table. But having dinner with Jesse Thorne and Maine is a complete delight. And I think at one point, I made him listen as I do many people to the Maine humorist Marshall Dodge, who recorded Maine stories under the name Bert and I, including. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You did. I did, right? Yeah. And look, if you're on YouTube right now, you can just go over and listen to all the Burton Eyes. They're all on YouTube's, but find the one where he performs the Burton Eye stories live at the University of Maine and Orono. Because he's already talking in a Maine accent. When he records the stories, they're not for an audience. They're just recorded. And these were very popular comedic records. And I did just do air quotes around comedic. because I don't know what makes them funny. Like, it's just the way he tells the story. There are no jokes in there.

And then when he tells the story live on stage at the University of Maine and Orono, you can't understand a word that he's saying. The main accent is poured on. So it's like, but I went da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-a. And the audience is dying in laughter. because it's the cadence. It sounds like jokes,

even though it's unintelligible fake Maine accent. You can hear the audience going clams, clams, clams, clams, clams. Clams, clams. That's the traditional cheer of the University of Maine. And, you know, look, Bert and I isn't for everyone. I'm sure, I don't think Marshall Dodge had any children, but I'm sure if they had young people in their lives, they probably would have put their hand up,

Oh, you know what I'm thinking of? It's when I do Burton Eye stories. Jesse puts his hand in front of my face and goes, that's enough. We're done. Yeah. But the thing is that you're asking me, I mean, you're not just asking me, Holly, to steal joy from your mother. To, you're not, I mean, your mom is sitting there going, I am intoxicated by my daughters. And what's more, even though your mom did fantasize about ripping your arm off.

hitting you with it. She did make a conscious choice to be a different kind of mom to you. But I'm not just ruling against you, Holly, because you're being mean to a lovely old woman, but also because you asked me to adjust her storytelling style. I get it. This was the third or fourth draft of the naked man in the lobby story. She was a, and she had an audience that was a little bit less forgiving, or maybe she felt a little bit more, I don't know how to put this exactly,

but like she wanted to put on a good show for me in a way that she maybe didn't care about with her own daughters, right? She's a little less self-indulgent. She knew she had to get it across a little bit more. But she's a great storyteller, and I really have no notes, nor would I rob laughter, because that's what makes the story so great in many ways.

Now, can I advise your mom that when she's, telling a story and she's feeling like she's getting into a giggle fit when she looks at you to picture me instead so she'll get back on track yes please burn my image into your brain joel but until then continue to tell wonderful stories and make your daughter's laugh and hold hands this is the sound of a gavel Judge John Hodgman rules that is all. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Holly, how are you feeling about this decision?

I am feeling like really I knew I wasn't going to win, but ultimately I just wanted my case to be heard and for some amount of pity to be taken upon me, the listener. of my mom's stories. Maybe you could just travel everywhere with a printout of Hodgman's face and instead of showing your mom the hand, you could just show the face,

get back on track, Mom. I think that's a terrific idea and I completely order it. Joelle, how are you doing? I'm doing great. And I just want Holly to think I'm cool. Oh, but there's no court in the land that can ever issue that order. I apologize.

Good, good luck. That is a separate issue, and I cannot help you there with getting your daughter to think you're cool. I think I can speak for all my five daughters. I think we all like each other, which is awesome. It is. It really is. Yeah. I'm going to take my daughter backstage to meet Saba when we go to the Saba concert.

in a few weeks. That's my big plan. Joelle, what is the most distinctive or unusual interaction you've had with somebody at the front desk in the hotel? Okay, so my name is French. So in French, you would say Joel. So that's kind of fun. And so I had a bunch of Frenchmen checking into the hotel. And you learn to, you learn who you can kind of play with and, you know, people that just are down to business, give me my key and leave me alone. So these, I could tell these were fun guys. And I'm like, can you do me a huge favor?

Can you say my name? And so for the rest of the stay, they would walk past the front desk. And I would hear, hello, Joel. Hello, hello, Joelle. And they're like, were you born in France? I'm like, no, I'm from Vegas. Jolie and Joel, thank you for joining us on the Judge John Hodgeman podcast. Thank you.

Thank you. It's a blast. Another Judge John Hodgman case is in the books. We'll have swift justice in just a second, but first our thanks to Redator Harry Elefonte. Harry Elefonte. For naming this week's episode, Exposition is nine-tenths of Gaffa.

The Maximum Thun subreddit is R slash Maximum Fun. You can chat about this episode and name future episodes or just check out other people's names for future episodes. Yeah, I got to give some credit to. the runner up for the, I was really stuck between this one. I mean, Harry Alifante's exposition is nine-tenths of guffaw is incredible. But I also liked ha ha hobbyist corpus by dead in the future. That sounds like an emo band, but it's actually a Redditor's name. Thank you very much. Those are very good. I like that one.

Evidence and photos from the show posted on our Instagram account and Instagram.com slash Judge John Hodgman. We're also on TikTok and YouTube where you can see John Hodgman's baby face this week. Follow and subscribe to see our episodes and our video-only content. John's making a little baby-face smile. Google Gaga. Speaking of YouTube, it's time for YouTube comment of the week. It was getting very fun and feisty in the chat beneath our recent episode featuring the wonderful Nick Offerman the other week. Jesse, you remember the guy who brought the watermelon to the party? Yes.

We're talking about it in that Nick Offerman face. An unslaced watermelon with the expectation that the host would slice the watermelon. Right. And the host, Anders, was like, I'm too busy to cut up a watermelon. I'm making a signature cocktail. Well, we had a witness, an eyewitness to this melon crime pop up in the comments underneath it. Julia, I'm going to say Huff, but it's spelled, of course, it's YouTube. So it's spelled H-U-8-F. Julia says, I was at Anders's party. It was sort of a belabor. housewarming party and the watermelon was a gift, not a requested dish situation because they did think it would be fun to show up with a watermelon under their arm. But then Julia remembered also of effing course Anders would believe his signature cocktails are our plot relevant.

But he does make amazing cocktail. So I have to accept it. So it was amazing to get that detail. But unfortunately, Julia, you're the runner up for today's a YouTube comment of the week because as awesome as that is, I have to give the Y, C-O-T-O-T-W blue ribbon to Julia Marie 1885, who wrote, and this was the episode we were talking about whether it's okay to put ketchup on French toast. And I wondered, because the person who wrote in was Canadian, if that was a Canadian thing, the Canadians say no. But Julia Marie 1885 did comment in Quebec, we do love maple syrup on all of our pork products, especially already decreased Christ's ears, a.k.a. pork rinds during March. March is rind month.

I guess it's an Easter thing. That's why it's already to, I don't know. And honestly, is it creased? Is it Christ in French? I don't know. Quebec-qua French. I do not. I don't know what Christ's ears have to do with anything in the Bible. Do they come up? Yeah, I guess, well, you know, it's March is Easter. I guess when he came out of that cave resurrect him. Maybe his ears were a little crispy. Maybe he's wearing those big novelty ears like in Peewey's big adventure. Yeah, that's right. But whatever the case, it will not stop us from putting maple syrup on pork rinds and put them on the buffet at our annual Judge John Hodgman holiday party. More on that in a moment. But first, if you want to be considered for the YouTube comment of the week, all you have to do is leave a

comment on one of the YouTube's. The latest episode of Judge John Hodgman at John. Judge John Honjid Pot is a great place to start. And while you're over there, or even if you're not there, please go over there and subscribe. It costs you nothing but a split second, and it really does help people discover the show if they subscribe. Speaking of helping people discover the show, have you noticed that on Instagram there is a new repost function? So you can just hit one button and repost things. I've noticed you do a little reposting, John. I'm so thrilled they added that repost button on Instagram, honestly, because there are,

There's so many things that I would love to signal amplify without going through all the hassle of like, you know, can I put it on my stories? And it's a great, it's a great way to repost stuff that I love. And I wonder where you're going with this, Jesse. I'm just saying, if people follow us on Instagram and they see a cute clip from the Judge John Hodgman podcast, why not repost it and share it with their friends? Okay, Judge John Hodgman, created by Jesse Thorne and John Hodgman, this episode engineered by Spencer Wright at the Podmill in Salt Lake City, Utah.

What a sweetheart, Spencer was. We're excited to welcome our new social media specialist, Megan Rosati. Megan is in the studio. Hi, Megan. Hi, Megan. This podcast edited by A.J. McKee, and our video editor is Daniel Spear. Our producer is Jennifer Marmer. Are you ready for swift justice, John?

I'm ready for it. Jack writes, my friend Andrew says, Jaws is more famous than the Godfather. I say they are equally famous. Who's right? All right. So this was one that actually came up in the New York Times magazine column called Judge John Hodgman. Yes, there's an overlap.

And Andrew and his friend were debating which is the most famous, which is the more famous movie, Jaws or the Godfather. I had an opinion. I ruled on it. But the New York Times, in this case, forgot to activate the, um, the uh the the the comment section so that people could weigh in so i want people to weigh in now on our comment section right below at the youtube because i know you have strong opinions of this humans usually in irish times has little clicky buttons right yeah no it was just i don't know what it i don't know it was a bug they just didn't they did sometimes on the judge john hodgeman

columnella in the new york times online they have the comment section there and people comment, which is great. It's a lot of fun. And I hope that you check that out. But sometimes in this case, they didn't. So people did not have their God or whatever given right to yell at me for saying the Godfather is more famous than Jaws. Now's your chance. If you disagree, tell me why Jaws is more famous than the godfather or vice versa. Give me your reason why in the comment right now. The reason is that they're both incredible movies. I'm not talking about which is a better movie. or which is a more renowned movie, or even which is more cinematically influential movie.

It's just how many more people have heard of it. And the reason that most people have heard of both, and Jaws is obviously a, it is an elemental, universal story of man versus nature, whereas Godfather is more man versus himself, man desires canoli sort of thing. But I give Jaws the edge only, I mean, excuse me, I give Godfather the edge only because Jaws does not have

every boyfriend on earth telling their, girlfriend, they have to watch it. And hey, I mentioned that Judge Shen Hodgman holiday party. If you're new to the show every year, we do a special episode where we taste test your strangest family holiday recipes. This started, of course, when our listener Pam in Seattle challenges to try her traditional holiday treat, eggnog and orange soda mixed, and it's delicious. And we've had many a Christmas casserole, soup-based gelatin salad, and grape jelly braze cocktail wheeler since then. This year, we already have in contention, Jesse, you know, we're already getting some weird holiday foods. Yeah, what do we got? Well, from our new listener in Cambridge,

Maggie has a Polynesian ginger dip, which like all the South Pacific food involves a lot of mayonnaise and sour cream. And from Katie in the eastern shore, or she grew up anyway in the Delmarva Peninsula, something called pretzel salad, which we're going to try. Now we're talking. You know what? I mentioned, I was on the Do Boys podcast recently. I heard it, and you were so good on it. It's so funny.

Thank you. It was a ton of fun. I love those guys. Yeah. I mentioned on the show to much consternation from the audience that I don't think I've ever had a casserole. If you don't, if you exclude, I used to make like a bread pudding, like a cheesy bread. pudding kind of thing.

Right. And then I've had macaroni and cheese baked in a casserole dish, which I guess technically is a casserole. But I've never had like one of those casseroles where it's like you put like cream of mushroom soup in a casserole with that kind of thing.

Yeah. And people flip down. I would say that's, yeah, that's cream of mushroom soup is like the lowest common that's the common denominator of what you would call casserole for me. Yeah. So like Midwesterners, It's not that I'm a coastal elitist and I'm against it.

We want to hear about these weird casseroles y'all are eaten. I know that you're crushing up saltines and adding a tin of gravy or whatever. Like, let's go. Let's hear about it. When you hear pretzel salad, what's the first ingredient you think is probably in this? Okay. So my first thing, of course, is pretzels. Right.

Now, you're correct. second ingredient are you thinking strawberry jello because you see right I know I was going to say lettuce look we're going to eat this stuff on the air and on camera we're looking for your strangest most interesting or simply most beloved holiday family traditional appetizers side dishes maybe a little tipple maybe something to drink go raid your grandma's recipe cards send a melody into maximum fun

That's where we need your suggestions for the holiday office party, your holiday theme disputes, and any dispute, right, Jesse? Any dispute indeed at maximum fund.org slash JJHO. We need them all. And remember, if you're in the San Francisco Bay Area, we need your disputes most of all right at this moment. So make sure to mention if you're in the Bay Area so that we can put you into consideration for our SF SketchFest show. We'll talk to you next time on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.