Judge John Hodgman - Ob-Law-Di, Ob-Law-Da

Episode Date: June 24, 2011

Pat and Joe come before the court with a case about that famous rock band, The Beatles. Pat claims that The White Album is one of The Beatles' worst albums and has a scattered approach. Joe argues that the album benefits from its variance and is one of their best works.

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. This week, Ob-Law-D, Ob-Law-Dah. Complainant Pat insists that not only is the White Album not the Beatles' greatest album, it's one of their worst. He's constantly hectoring his friend Joseph, who believes it to be among their best. Who is right? Who is wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as the Honorable Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom. Ladies and gentlemen, happiness is a warm judge. You may be seated. Gentlemen, please raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and

nothing but the truth so help you god or whatever i do i do do you swear to abide by judge john hodgman's ruling despite the fact that the only beatles album he has is that one with uh uh baby butchering baby chopped up butchering beatles Chopped Up Butchering Beatles album. I do. That's what it's called. For display purposes. That's its actual title, by the way. Most people think it's called something else, but that is its actual title.

Not a lot of people know that. Baby Chopped Up Butchering Beatles album. Judge Hodgman? Do you guys agree to that? Yes. I do. Yes, I do. Pat, are you the complainant?

Yes. Yes, I am. So let's talk a little bit about what your complaint is today, Pat. My complaint is largely with the world. But Joe... So shall we refer to you then as the constant complainant then? Yes, yes, you know. What is the issue that brings you before the court today?

What justice do you seek, Pat? I really like to think of this as I'm looking out for the next generation as they are discovering. Are you hitting a desk with a shoe while you're talking, like cruise ship? Is that what's happening? I'm looking out for the next generation. Ease off,

Clarence Darrow. Yeah, there's only one gavel in this courtroom, and I got it. And I don't even know what it is yet. Yes, you do. It's a fine gavel. this courtroom, and I got it. And I don't even know what it is yet. Yes, you do. I don't even know what my... It's a fine gavel. I will have order, please. I don't even know what the gavel is going to be yet.

So now you may go ahead. So you're looking out for the next generation. Yes. In critical discussion and how the Beatles catalog is presented to the uninitiated, I consider myself fairly initiated. The Beatles are my favorite band, have been since the age of 10 or so. How old are you now?

25, actually today. You're 25 today? Yes, yes. Happy birthday. Bailiff Jesse, will you spank the constant complainant 25 times? Also, I would like to introduce that as evidence of, you know,

come on, it's my birthday. Oh, I think that you will find that that will not endear you to me. Damn. All right. There are no special considerations given due to random arrangements of births on a calendar. All right. I will listen to the merits of the case and the merits of the case only. And your case is you love the Beatles. You have done for some time.

They are your favorite band. Spend much time discussing them, certainly. Okay. Well, that is definitely the mark of a Beatles fan for sure. Yes. Okay. Do you know what? This will go easier if we take turns speaking.

So I will make it very clear to you when I've stopped. Okay. Yes. stopped. Okay. Yes. Yes. Okay. Why don't you go ahead and speak? I will try to be quiet. We'll see how that goes.

Okay. Yes. So in all of my discussions of the Beatles, everybody or most people revere the White Album as one of their greatest albums. And this is how it was presented to me as I was a youngster coming up, listening my way through the Beatles catalog. Then when I heard it, I found it to be very disappointing that it's so, it's just, it's not, it doesn't hold together. It's not a cohesive album. It's about a quarter great songs, about half sort of mediocre middling songs that are kind of forgettable.

And then there's another quarter that just kind of sucks. And I think that time is better spent discussing and lauding the more laudable albums in the Beatles catalog, such as, you know, let's say Revolver. I understand. Let me interrupt there for a second. What album are we talking about? We're talking about, well, technically named The Beatles.

Thank you. I just want to make sure that people understand because, you know, Beatles fans are nitpickers. All right. You say that most people revere this album as one of The Beatles' greatest albums. I don't know who these most people are, but those are the authorities, the people who are dragging you down in life because they are, in your mind, wrong, these most people. Yes. And you would say one of the best, not the best, right? Some will say that. Okay. Who is the respondent? Averaging. Okay. No, that's fine. I've got it. Who is the respondent? Joe? Joe, yes. Joe, come forward, please. Are you one of these most people that are bothering

Pat about this album all the time? I think I'm probably the spokesperson of most people, yes. So this is Pat representing most people? No, no, I am representing, in Pat's head. Thank you, thank you. All right, so the defendant is Joe representing most people. Is that correct? Yes. All right. Sure. And do you contend in your heart, truthfully, that The Beatles, also known as The White

Album, is one of the best Beatles albums? Yes. Do you contend that it is the best Beatles album? No. By one of the best, do you mean one of the top three or one of the top five? I would say top five. Okay.

And what are the top five in your mind? I don't have quite the... You don't order things like that? I don't like to describe the top one through... Yeah, exactly. I would describe it as a less black and white, more of a gray area of Revolver, The Beatles,

Abbey Road, and we'll throw, we'll put Sgt. Pepper's up there. Sure, why not? I'm a fan of the later work, aside from maybe Let It Be. Anyway. And Pat, you feel that The White Album, The Beatles, also known as The White Album, is not in the top five? No. Where would you, if you were to rank things, because you seem like a ranker to me, if you album, the Beatles, also known as the White Album, is not in the top five? No.

Where would you, if you were to rank things, because you seem like a ranker to me, if you were to rank it, where would you rank it? I have it on my personal list at number 11. Do you have your personal list in front of you by any chance? Yes, I do. Let's hear the top 10. Wait a minute, didn't even make the top 10? Nope. I enjoy the Beatles like most people.

I'm not a collector of Beatles albums and ephemera, apart from my prized possession, my most prized album, Beatles Butcher's Babies. But even I, and I'm not a ranker. I don't put things in order. I don't make lists. I'm not John Cusack in high fidelity. I don't care.

But even I, if I were forced, as i feel like i am being forced now to determine where it fits i would put in the top 10. let me hear your top 10. all right all right my top 10 have number one have a revolver number two abbey road number three sergeant pepper's lonely hearts club band number four rubber soul number five please please me number six magical mystery tour number seven help number eight beatles for sale number nine hard day's night number 10 ram you're just just throw in ram because it's not even a beatles album we'll just say that actually i would i would best of the best of the Beatles, volume two. How many albums did the Beatles record?

I confess my ignorance of this. The total number of albums during their career. In official Beatles canon... Well, I would expect no less. We're talking canon. There's 13, and then there are the two past masters series. Okay, hold on. I don't want to hear about any past masters. I like to listen to music. I don't want to hear about any past masters. I, you know, I like to listen to music.

I don't even know what those terms mean. 13 albums, top 10, do not include the White Album. Then you sneak the White Album in at number 11, kind of as an insult. But of the 13 albums, it is the third worst. That is a provocative statement. Yes, it is. I know that you will defend this statement,

but for a moment, I'd like to turn to Joe and get his response to this. And I'd like to hear his, I think, the common sense, received wisdom, most people opinion is why you are wrong. I'm listening honestly to both arguments here. I have no stake in this fight, and I am not a Beatles expert by any means. So, Joe, please speak for most people. And I am not a Beatles expert by any means. So, Joe, please speak for most people. My general argument is that Pat is holding this album to very particular personal standards that probably are unfair to try to apply to the entire world of Beatles fans and especially young fans. young fans. I mean, this strategy he seems to have of raising new Beatles fans, it seems like it's just trying to recreate his own sort of experience of growth along with the Beatles.

I'm going to interrupt you there, Joe. Did you say Pat is raising new Beatles fans? By the way he was talking about it at the start. Does Pat have a weird private orphanage somewhere in the country? If not a literal one, then a metaphorical one in some way, yes. Okay. It seemed like the way Pat was talking about this is that the stakes of this argument are the way in which the Beatles will be experienced by another generation. But Joe, do you know something? Pat can make his own arguments. I don't need to hear your critique of his arguments this can only be so

meta do you understand what i'm saying okay give me that's true give me a cohesive argument from the point of view of what i what i think is common wisdom that the that the white album the beatles also known as the white album belongs at least in the top 10, if not the top five, according to you. Right. Why is this record good? Let's get to first principles here. Well, first of all, there's the kind of backstory that ultimately enriches the experience, if you know it, of the Beatles sort of going off to India and returning with this catalog of songs yes yes and

the yogi tried to kiss Prudence and Mia Farrow's sister and everyone got upset yes but they're sort of uh it's the Beatles sort of reconciling with one another and you have the various personalities of the Beatles um expressed in this album just as well as I would say in any of them. And I think that's something that most Beatles fans do appreciate is the variety brought by that. Can we just not talk about Beatles fans for a moment? Because look, I believe in nerddom.

I believe in passionate absorption in things that you care about. And particularly in cultural media, you know, it's something that I appreciate that people love stuff a lot, and they really get into music or records or books or films or TV series. And that's great. But there is a kind of nerddom that becomes this endless rat hole where you're just chasing continuity and backstories down a sewer and you're never seen again. I want to talk about not what Beatles fans get out of these albums, because indeed we are talking about the orphans that are being raised by Pat, who are just experiencing this music for the first time. I want to talk about how humans perceive this album.

Do you understand what I mean? Right. So let's not talk about what the backstory is because when you throw this thing on, like, for the first time, I would hope that neither one of you guys would be there screaming in my ear telling me about how upset John Lennon was that Sexy Sadie tried to kiss Prudence.

Do you know what I mean? I mean, I'm going to ask you some simple questions. Are these good songs? Yes. Okay. Are they all good songs? I would Okay. Are they all good songs? I would say most of them are good songs.

What song is the best on all four sides of this massive album? I would say I Will. Yeah, that's not even one that I recognize. Yeah, I Will? The hell? Well, John actually... Pat, Pat, I will have order, Pat. Your turn will come, don't worry.

You want me to come in? Bailiff Jesse, Bailiff Jesse? Yes, sir will have order, Pat. Your turn will come. Don't worry. You want me to hum it? Bailiff Jesse? Bailiff Jesse? Yes, sir. Stand by, please. Bailiff Jesse, what are our legal liabilities if I had this fellow hum, I will? Am I going to get sued by Apple Corps? I'll take care of him if anything goes wrong.

All right. Give me a little rendition of I will, because I'm sure I've heard it, but I don't even recognize that title. Your friend Jonathan Colton has actually done a cover of the song, so we could always throw that in here. You know what? When I want to hear Jonathan Colton play a song, I pull him out of the closet and make him play.

It's your turn now, Joe. You want me to hum it? If you don't, I'm going to believe you don't really have a stake in this fight, and I'm going to dismiss the case. I need you to win this case yes i do recognize yes that's a beautiful that's a beautiful song the statement of devotion from one person to another right you know it's touching and it's touching. And I think it has something of substance to stay. And this is always, in the context of the rest of the album, I would say a lot of these, the album is also full of fun songs,

sort of songs you grow up with as a kid. If your parents are, I'm talking about other Beatles fans again, so I apologize, Judge. But for instance, Rocky Raccoon is three tracks preceding, and it's a- You know what? You don't need to impress me by where they are in track order. There are so many songs on this album, and now that I'm re-familiarizing myself with it, that are so much more iconic, ambitious, passionate, and interesting, that while that is a great Beatles song, without doubt, it is not the best song on this album. When you have, back in the USSR, you have Helter Skelter.

These are great songs, iconic songs. And even if you are more of a McCartney person than a Lennon person, you have perhaps the greatest McCartney song of all time on this album, Blackbird, which is about 10 times bester than I will, in my opinion. Sure. So I appreciate that you now are speaking for Joe as opposed to most people, but that argument did not do you any favors. Stand by Joe, Pat. I bet you're, I bet you're feeling pretty excited now by my takedown of Joe.

Yes, I am. Yes. And now to indulge in a little bit of, of what poor Joe was trying to get into before I shut him down. But, but this is a historic album in the sense that it is the point really where the Beatles, and particularly the songwriting sensibilities of McCartney and

Lennon really diverge, right? This is the first time that Yoko Ono was in the studio, if I understand correctly. And this is the first time that they're starting to really perform and write and record separately in a way that is never going to be repaired after this album. Would you argue with that, Pat? No, I do not argue that it's... Actually, my argument is that it is an interesting historical document, but it's a difficult listen, and it's not good for people who are just learning the Beatles catalog.

And even as a seasoned Beatles listener, I still go back to it very rarely because it's a difficult listen. It's hard to make it through. It's like 95 minutes long. And again, about a quarter of it is bad. And about another half of it is pretty forgettable. What's the best song on the album? Helter Skelter. What's the worst song on the album? Helter Skelter. What's the worst song on the album?

Revolution No. 9. And what's the most forgettable song on the album? I don't know. You don't remember, right? I forget. Yeah, hard pressure. I don't know. Your blues.

Long, long, long. Piggies. I'm so tired. Why don't we do it in the road? It's just a silly little and like a lot of it's so slight and just it just kind of feels tossed off whereas what's so great about the rest of the beatles catalog that it's all so perfect and like so tight and great and just consistently amazing. Whereas it's so, this album is so scattershot and difficult to listen to

and has just weird bits that don't pay off. And actually, I would argue, kind of mark a step back from where they were at like Revolver. Revolver, my favorite Beatles album, my third favorite album of all time. I'm glad you've got the ranking down Yes It's stylistically varied, certainly And very experimental

Like, I would I characterize Tomorrow Never Knows The last song on Revolver As being almost Like experimental techno In 1967 And I don't toss around the term techno lightly. Don't worry.

I think we all know that, Pat. But Pat, let me interrupt you because I know that you would like to turn this into your own personal Beatles podcast, but I've got a case to decide here. And while I could see an argument like, whoa, which is better, Revolver or the White Album going on late into the night in somebody's cruddy living room, full of passion

and reasonable argument, I think the harder argument to understand is this. What was your number 10 Beatles album? With the Beatles. Why did With the Beatles, number 10, edge out? Why is that better than the White Album? Yes, it is about half covered, certainly, but they're done so well. You're anticipating my, I don't even have to make noises of disapproval. You hear them in your head already when you say this. It's a hard argument, I think, to make that it is better than The Beatles. Let me ask you this. What is your favorite song on with The Beatles?

My gut's going to say Roll Over Beethoven. All right, let me hear it. Roll Over Beethoven. You didn't think I was going to let you get away without singing something.

If not that, pick a song and sing it. I have to sing a Beatles song? Or Hum it. Anyone? And it better not be one on the White Album, or this thing is being

thrown out of court. The best Beatles song. You are very happy to make a list of 10 best Beatles albums. What is the best Beatles song? Oh, God.

That's like picking my favorite child out of my... Out of your orphanage, I know. I really, I may have to go twist and shout that's an honest answer let's go let's hear it come on shake it now baby now shake it up baby

twist and shout twist and shout come on come on come on now baby now you could have hit that note come on baby come on and work it on and work it on out. Work it on out. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Oh, yeah. So the thing of it is, and I'm asking you this for other reasons than just humiliating you for my own amusement. And to hear your singing voice, which is lovely, by the way. But I think that's an honest answer.

You like those early songs. You like those tight songs. I do. And I think that this plays into, without trying to psychoanalyze you, you can correct me if I'm wrong, your desire to pass along this legacy of something you really like to the children that you're keeping prisoner in your home. And my home is a lair. Don't worry. Yeah, I understand. But is this important to you? Is this truly important to you to

pass along the Beatles to others? Yes. Okay. And your concern is that the White Album, the Beatles, also known as the White Album, first of all, for being so long, is it their only double album? Yes. Okay. And in many ways, very indulgent. And in many ways, an album of transition. And in many ways, a complicated album, because it is true that if you were to listen to this album first, you would not understand who these guys were. You'd be listening to four different guys, basically. Yes. And so your concern is that because you understandably

expect an apocalypse to come soon, and there may be only one Beatles record that may be passed along to another generation, that this one would be the worst one. Is that right? Yes. I have everything I need. I'm going to go into chambers.

I'm going to go into chambers and make my considerations and my deliberations, and I'm going to transcendentally meditate for about 35 hours and then call up Mia Faris, and then I'll be back with my decision. Please rise as judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Pat, I have a question for you. Yes. Why did you not once mention the Beatles greatest song?

The girl is mine featuring Michael Jackson. Is it because you hate hay rides? Joe, I have a question. Sure. If you win this case, do you think that Pat will shut his mouth? Absolutely not. And we've seen that in his other case that's been decided by Judge John Hodgman, in the case of cakes or Pat Walsh versus cupcakes, in that he immediately took to social media and just in real life, just bashing cupcakes like Judge John Hodgman had not told him that cupcakes are perfectly good, baked good, and perfectly enjoyable. Pat has flown in the face of the judge's decision before. Pat, Pat, Pat, wait. This is Judge John Hodgman here. I want you to think very seriously, despite Joe's provocation, about whether you're going to bring up cupcakes at this time.

This is a delicate moment for you. I have ruled on cupcakes, and I am not going to bring up cupcakes at this time. This is a delicate moment for you. I have ruled on cupcakes, and I am not going to relitigate this issue. So I am going to now put you to the test. Are you able to keep your peace on this subject? Yes. No, I'm just going to prove that you're wise and that you called me a cake hoarder. I currently have three cakes sitting at my house ready for eating. All right. You did not say cupcakes, so that's fine. No. All right. I currently have three cakes sitting at my house ready for eating.

All right. You did not say cupcake, so that's fine. No, no. All right. Let's not talk about it any further, shall we? Jesse, will you welcome me back into the courtroom, please? Please rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom. You know, the reason that I was so concerned that Pat was going to bring up cupcakes again was that we had done this clearing the docket sidebar on cupcakes where I said that Pat's aversion to cupcakes was certainly a reasonable personal taste for him, but not reasonable to impose upon the world and not an argument that

he would ever win and that cupcakes are perfectly fine and this is something that i think joe alluded to here this is something that has haunted pat to the point that at the recent max fun con poor pat came up to me at a tired moment at the end of the thing and started talking about cupcakes and i got a little upset about it didn't i pat yes yes and i know well one could argue whether or not it was reasonable it was the end of a started talking about cupcakes, and I got a little upset about it, didn't I, Pat? Yes. Yes. Reasonably so. No, well, one could argue whether or not it was reasonable. It was the end of a long, fun weekend that I hope you will all join us on again sometime in the future when we do another MaxFunCon. But I was tired, and I just didn't want to fight about cupcakes anymore.

It just felt like that had taken over my whole life, and I was not quite as polite as I could have been to you, Pat. So I wish to offer you an apology. Thank you very much, Honorable Judge Hodgman. Now shut up, because I was not quite as polite as I could have been to you, Pat, so I wish to offer you an apology. Thank you very much, Honorable Judge Hodgman. Now shut up, because I need to talk. But there is an issue here, which is that, too, I tend to not like to rule on issues of taste, because there is no arguing with taste. It's simply someone likes something or they don't like something.

And that is precisely why I ruled so swiftly on the matters of cupcakes and why I was so hesitant to take up this case, because it truly is an issue of if you like something, you like something. If you don't like something, you don't like something. But I do appreciate that there are certain cultural products that have a kind of irrelevance and a historicity that is important. Now, Joe, arguing for many people, you're not an attorney, are you? No.

No, good. What do you do for a living? I'm a graduate student. I trust you're great at that. Excellent, yes. Because you did not actually make a very good argument, I have to say, for the White Album. Not just because you like that song. I think that's a beautiful song. But you were not, I don't think you had the courage of your convictions to beat back the unyielding tide that is Pat's weird and unceasing opinions about things. And Pat, you did something that surprised me. You made me look at the Beatles, also known as the White Album,

in a completely different way. When you first wrote in saying, I don't like it, and I think it's dumb, and I don't think it's a very good album, I thought you had gone insane. Because it is received wisdom that it is a very good album. But your arguments, I think, were very interesting and very sound in terms of the length of the album, the number of songs on it that were very good versus the number of songs on it that were just okay, versus the number of songs on it that were just sort of a lark. And so I began to really rethink what I was going to say about this. But if you were to leave one album of The Beatles to the generation of orphans that you were keeping in your basement after the coming global superpocalypse,

it might be wrong to leave The Beatles, a.k.a. the White Album. There may be a better choice. Would that be your choice of with The Beatles, or what would you choose? Did you decide? Probably Revolver. Either that or Abbey Road. Okay.

I think those are reasonable choices if you only were to choose one album. But if you were to choose ten albums, which is the extremely generous range that we're giving this to fall into. If you were to leave 10 Beatles albums behind to the generation of orphans living in your basement to know what the Beatles were about during the coming global super apocalypse. And you did not include the white album, you would be doing that generation of orphans you are keeping prisoner in your basement a disservice, sir. Not only because you are keeping them in your basement, but also that this is an album that is important in the trajectory of the Beatles' career, and I think

critical in the trajectory of the Beatles' career, even as a minor league Beatles fan. I know this. As a minor league Beatles fan, I know this. And that, I think, alone makes it interesting and suitable and critical. And so if you really wanted those children to understand what the Beatles were all about, and I think you sincerely do, otherwise you wouldn't be keeping them prisoner. You know, I think you would be doing them a disservice if you left out this chapter of the music that they made in favor of a bunch of cover songs. With the Beatles goes out at number 10. The Beatles, a.k.a. the White Album, goes in at number 10 with a bullet.

This is the sound of a gavel. Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom. Boing! Ladies and gentlemen, the Beatles. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the court. Pat, how do you feel right now?

I feel that this was a relatively fair decision. I think justice has been served, and I might in the future pipe down a bit. Joe, do you believe Pat will actually pipe down? Probably not, no. How do you feel right now? I feel okay. I'm glad that Judge Sean Hodgman has sort of ruled in my favor. I feel a little disappointing to myself that it seems like I've represented conventional wisdom and that it's a conventional wisdom that's also, in the end, been justified, but that I've done a bad job of it. And Joe, don't beat yourself up. You were tasked with something impossible. I mean, you basically had to argue that the sky was blue. Luckily for all of us, Joe, I was here to make judgment. You know what I'm

going to do to celebrate this, this amazing decision is I'm going to enjoy a cupcake in chambers. Thank you very much, gentlemen. Thank you, Pat, Joe. Thank you for being on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Thanks, Jesse. Thank you very much, Jesse. Thank you, Judge Hodgman. you judge hodgman another case decided another chambers retired too i think your poetry lessons are going quite well bailiff jesse thank you judge hodgman cupcake you know i normally don't go in for sweets of any kinds i don't like cakes cakes. I don't like cupcakes. I don't like cookies. I don't like brownies. But when these cupcakes, they taste of judgment and spite. And I like it. Perhaps we can keep the

judgment train rolling with a little docket clearing. Yeah, well, we've got some things piled up, don't we? Jesse W. writes, Dear Judge, my friend Andrew and I are in a band together. After a recent band practice, we decided to relax by listening to a vinyl recording of the seminal Fleetwood Mac album, Rumors. We listened to it on a period-appropriate stereo system.

I noticed that the bass was very pronounced. Nice. I like that. Go on. I noticed that the bass was very pronounced and proceeded to investigate the stereo. It became apparent that the bass boost button had been engaged. My friend Andrew had pressed that button. A heated argument ensued. I insisted that the bass boost was intended to be used at low volumes only as a tool to improve the sound. Boost was intended to be used at low volumes only as a tool to improve the sound.

He, however, insisted that it be used at all volumes because it just sounds better. I contend the albums, rumors especially, should be listened to as intended. He says it's the listener's choice. Please help us come to a conclusion in this matter. You know what? It's the listener's choice, period. And I am getting a little fed up with the audiophiles and the music snobs fighting on my podcast. This is not where this is supposed to happen. That's supposed to happen in your cruddy living rooms. Please take it there.

And I sentence you all to purchase Sharpling and Worcester's two seminal albums on this very subject of music snobbery, Rock, Rot, and Rule, and also New Hope for the Ape-Eared. Listen to them and learn. And you know what? Press the bass boost. I don't care. Here's one from Dieter.

He writes, Your Honor, This is from a man named Bang and Olufsen. Your Honor, I can see where this is. This is from a man named Bang and Olufsen. Your Honor, my wife and I have a perfect relationship in every way, save for the fact that she is unwilling to recognize the clear and simple fact that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Baa Baa Black Sheep are, in fact, the same song. Please help.

They are, in fact, the same song. Please help. They are in fact the same song written by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. You may also recognize the tune as the alphabet song. Case closed. Thank you Judge Sean Hodgman. Are there any further cases? No sir. It occurs to me that we have not given

Adam Marcus an update on what's happening on Will Price's Facebook in a couple of weeks. And this was something that I promised I would do on behalf of Will Price to make Adam Marcus aware of what's happening on Will Price's Facebook page. So I just want to say, Adam, take out a piece of pencil, take out a piece of paper and a pencil. This is what's going on. Will Price, Will and Gabriel Gutierrez are now friends. Will started playing Army Attack. Will and Jenna Mulberry are now friends. Will Price wrote on Anna Bedsoul's wall,

I am tempted to tag you in this image, but not as the innocent girly in the first panel. Question. That's a very interesting thing there. And also Will Price likes a link. That link is Judge John Hodgman, episode 27, The Friendship Inquest, which is the podcast that refers to Will Price and his friend, Marcus. So there you go. That is the update. May I listen to a man playing the entertainer? Thank you. Thank you very much, Jesse. Thank you, Judge Hodgman. Goodbye. The Judge John Hodgman podcast is a production of Goodbye. The Judge John Hodgman Podcast is a production of MaximumFun.org.

Our special thanks to all of the folks who donate to support this show and all of our shows at MaximumFun.org. The show is produced by Julia Smith and me, Jesse Thorne, and edited by Matt Gourley. His great podcast, by the way, is called Super Ego. You can find it in iTunes or online at gosuperego.com. You can find John Hodgman online at areasofmyexpertise.com. If you have a case for Judge John Hodgman, email us and be sure and include your telephone number. The email address is hodgman at maximumfund.org. If you have thoughts about the show, you can always comment on it on our message board, forum dot maximumfund dot org. We'll see you online and next time right here on the Judge

John Hodgman podcast.