Judge John Hodgman - So Help You Pod, or Whatever

Episode Date: August 10, 2013

Aaron wants to move his beloved refurbished egg pod chair into the home he shares with his wife, Kara. Kara objects to the outsized piece of furniture and says it needs to stay in storage until the time and place are right. Who's right? Who's wrong. Only one  man can decide.

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest bailiff, Monty Belmonte, morning host at 93.9 The River WRSI in Northampton, Massachusetts, which acts as the kangaroo courtroom for the Honorable John Hodgman. This week, so help you pod or whatever. Aaron wants to move his beloved refurbished egg pod chair into the home he shares with his wife, Kara. Kara objects to the outsized piece of furniture and says it needs to stay in storage until the time and place are right. What comes first, the chick or the egg chair?

Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom. Fresh bananas here. We've got fresh bananas. Fresh bananas here. We've got fresh bananas. Fresh bananas here. We've got fresh bananas. Could I have two bananas? Of course you may.

Any particular bananas or just two from the top? I'll take two from the top. You got it, sir. All right, guest bailiff Monty Balmonte, swear I'm in. Aaron and Karen. This is for our performance. Sound effects machine in studio. We're going full on morning zoo.

Aaron and Kara, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you pod share or whatever? Yes, We do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling even if that means sitting in the corner with egg on your face in a chair either shaped like an egg or that is normally angular? Yes. Thank you. Judge John Hodgman, you may proceed.

Thank you very much. You may be seated. Aaron and Kara, spelled K-A-R-A but pronounced Kara. Is that correct? Yes. Very good. And Aaron pronounced in the traditional manner? In the traditional manner, yes. Aaron.

But not Aaron. But not Aaron. If you're not from Massachusetts, you might say Aaron and Aaron for Aaron and Aaron. Aaron and Aaron is how like the rest of the country says it. Aaron? Aaron and Aaron. Kirsten, Kristen, or Kirsten. All. I hate.

I love everyone I've ever met who's named those things, but I will never remember your name. For an immediate summary judgment in your favor, Aaron or Kara, can you name the piece of culture that I was referencing when I entered the courtroom? We'll start with you, Aaron. No. No, the answer is no, of course you can't. Kara.

No. No, of course you can't cara no no of course you can't how could you it is what was said to me not four hours ago in the service plaza in kennebunkport maine as i sped back to massachusetts my part-time hometown state commonwealth in order to be with you right now you did it guest bailiff monty Belmonte and producer Julia Smith and absent Jesse Thorne. You dragged me out of my vacation hole, put me back in the saddle. I'm sitting on a saddle. And I drove down here through a torrential downpour, I dare say. I will say.

Truth and dare in one. I dare say, I will say, truth and dare in one. And as I went along the way thinking about whether or not I would make it to speak to you nice people today, I stopped at the service plaza and the greatest thing in my life happened to me. Picture, if you will, where are you folks in? What state are you in? We're in South Florida. Is that a state or a commonwealth?

It is a commonwealth. I don't think there's a lot of wealth associated with parts of Florida. We're from a commonwealth. Virginia is a commonwealth. Virginia is a commonwealth, and what's another one? Is Delaware a commonwealth? Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. I think. We'll take your word for it.

Virginia is a... Good. Well, we're all commonwealthians here so we can talk this way so but you bet but you so you're in South Florida so you know from an interstate right you've driven on one yes you both have driver's lessons every day right so you know like a service plaza like a like a like a food court and gas station yeah sure and I walk into this thing and it's got it's like a circular like Bridge of the Enterprise configuration.

So on the periphery, you've got your big names, your Sparrow, your Burger King, your Auntie, Ann's Pretzel, Bonanza, whatever. A mini mart and then kind of this lonely, if you can imagine a corner in a circle, there

was a lonely corner of the circle where was stationed two refrigerator cases labeled like, I think it was like freshly natural. Wow. Some like bogus organic, like we're going to give you. Orgasmic bananas. It was like freshly natural or perfectly natural. Whatever we can say to get you to buy it without actually having to pay the government to be organic certified. And as you know, it was a bunch of it was a bunch of it was a bunch of cut up pineapples in plastic cups, petroleum products.

About what felt like 17 feet away from these two lonely fridge stations was the guy in charge of Freshly Natural standing at a cash register. And in front of the cash register was a bowl of bananas. And anytime someone came within 35 feet of him, he would go, fresh bananas here. We got fresh bananas. Like, as though it's a scene from The Godfather, part two, flashback, tenements, early 20th century New York City. Yes, we do have bananas. But in a gas station food court, and the guy who is doing this voice, fresh bananas here, right?

He's doing this voice. He's 24 years old at the most. I think he was actually probably in college. This is his summer job. He was probably six foot. Listen, banana man at the Kennebunkport Service Plaza. Don't get offended. A little budgie.

He was kind of like that tall but big, so you kind of can't gauge his height because he's not a beanpole. This is a big guy, kind of baby faced. You know what he kind of looked like? Now, please don't take offense, Rich Summer. He kind of looked like Rich Summer from Mad Men. But flashback to like age 22. Do you guys watch Mad Men? know harry crane on mad men yes right he has an egg chair of course he watches mad man yeah there you go we'll get to that we'll get to that in half an hour but anyway so here's this 22 year old kid maybe 21 years old maybe 20 years old i don't know what doing this thing

going fresh bananas here and then when i came back i'm watching him do it to other people and not only has he got the voice he's got this gesture down which internet radio will not do justice to this anytime he said fresh bananas here he waved his left hand over the bananas and wiggled his fingers so now imagine this on bananas just just you guys do this you have what right are you lefties or righties right all right pick up your your winger figling hand your finger wiggling hand and with me and everyone at home unless you're driving when i say bananas just sort of gesture to imaginary bananas and wiggle your fingers like you're like you're at the at the at the magic castle like you're a sleight of hand magician

and also imagine that you're 22 years old and you live in maine and you stand by yourself in a service plaza all day long every day fresh bananas here we've got fresh bananas who wouldn't buy bananas did you buy bananas of course I've got one right here I've saved it on the drive so that I can eat it on the podcast do you think he got laid off as a vendor at the Portland Sea Dogs or something like that the guy who maybe used to hawk peanuts in the stands

of a minor league ball field he sounds like that but he looks you know what he looks like he looks like probably the greatest comedian to come out of Maine since ever. This guy is a young... I said to my daughter as I'm walking out of here, that guy has got a future in showbiz. I should have given him my card if I had one.

Right. Because I don't live in the early 20th century in a New York street scene. I don't have a business card. But I should have given my card and said, I'm going to produce your TV show. Because, you know, my career is over, Monty. I mean, look at me. Don't say that. Look at me.

I'm doing a podcast in Western Massachusetts. Yeah, on a commercial radio station. Terrestrial radio station. No way. No way. I should produce. This kid is a genius, and now I'm going to have one of his bananas.

I bought two, and that's what he said to me. Any particular banana or two from the top? This guy is a master. Hang on. Here we go, guys. You guys got any bananas you want to eat along? Isn't there a sound effect that goes with eating the bananas on your sound effect machine? Shush! I haven't even got a sound... You ruined my first bite, jerk.

That's always the best. Alright, don't say anything. I'm going to try to relive this. Now I've got a pristine memory of that first bite. Mmm. anything, I'm going to try to relive this. Now I've got a pristine memory of that first bite. I'll try to make this sound as disgusting as possible. What if Guy Fieri had a radio show? What if he did a radio version

of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives? Like the last 20 minutes is always him just eating food, just like, oh, that's money. Oh, you know what? This is a fresh banana. This is a great. Do you want to have a bite, Monty?

Sure. Does this gross you out? No. We're old friends. So you only get, you got to, because that's fresh right from Maine. It's natural-ish. Yeah. That's fresh right from Maine.

They pulled that out of the waters this morning and I drove it down. I can taste a little bit of a salty sea air and lobster. Have you guys ever had a real Maine banana? No. Never been to Maine. What do you know? We have banana trees in our backyard. We do have banana trees.

Yeah, they're not the good kind. Not like the kind you get from Maine. You know, a banana will stay alive in your refrigerator if you keep it damp for 24 hours. Let me just toss it in the pot of boiling water. It doesn't feel pain. Don't worry about it. It has no central nervous system. All right.

Hang on a second, guys, because we've got to hear this case. I'm going to put this on the list of things to discuss. Your case. I don't feel like I'm on it. I literally, I was on vacation at 6 o'clock this morning, and now I'm here. Not that this isn't fun, of course. I'm going to put this on the case.

We've got to talk about bananas, banana origin, and we've got to have a sound effects machine, because I'm at WRSI, the river, and they have a sound machine here, so I've got to use it. Do you guys have a Miami sound machine in South Florida? All right. Of course.

Let's get down to it. Shall we? Sure. All right. That's the end of that. That's so tempting, though. That's every listener's assessment of my opening monologue. Fresh bananas here.

Oh, seriously, though, listeners, if any of you are in Maine, seriously, I feel bad that I did not contact this kid. Go to the Kennebunkport Southbound Travel Plaza. Buy some bananas. Get this kid's name. Find out if he's a listener. Tell him I want to produce his one-man show or sitcom. Fresh bananas here. Maybe I shouldn't say that.

Oh, maybe I should write that next week. I want to hear from this kid. Take a picture of you with this kid and the bananas send it in i'll give you a free canadian house of pancakes t-shirt that's a promise all right aaron yes from bananas to eggs you're married to to kara even though she pronounces her name that way. And you have a beautiful restored egg chair. Can you describe for the listeners who are audiophiles all and need no further description, but for the few who don't know, what is your egg chair all about? Okay, well, it's a Lee West Stereo Alpha Pod Chair is the official name of it. It's a Lee West stereo alpha pod chair is the official name of it. And it's actually not the first of those styles of chairs that came out. But the earlier models were perfectly round and you just sat within a ball.

But this is actually the shape of an egg, sort of tilted. So was the Lee West was the first? No, I don't believe so. The first egg-shaped pod chair? I believe that that is the case, yeah. And he was the first to put speakers in it. So the fiberglass structure of this thing actually has speaker cabinets built into the sides and a hole in there. And so you have stereo speakers on either side of your head. Oh, yeah. This sounds awesome.

Yeah. It sounds awesome. Yeah. It sounds better than anything. Does it sound better than it looks? Does it literally sound better than it looks? It literally sounds a lot better than it looks. To me, it looks awesome. But, Kara, you have a difference of opinion. You think it looks dumb?

No, I don't think it looks dumb. I think it's cool. Okay. It just doesn't go where we are right now all right well how long have you had this this chair aaron i bought it in about it was i believe 2009 early 2009 and what and what you're at what what year is it i believe it's a 73 you believe it's a 70 you believe that i can't remember you believe that it's a 73. You believe it's a 70. You believe that it's a 70. I can't remember. You believe that it's a...

So the argument here, listeners, is that Aaron wants to keep this chair in his home, and Kara doesn't want him to. And so, Aaron, you have to make an argument for this chair being beautiful, not just an emotional attachment to you, but a significant investment of your time and a worthy investment that it is historically significant. You know, you're basically arguing to get one of those little placards on your home that means no one can ever tear it down. Even though no one wants a dumb bungalow with two bedrooms that are the size of postage stamps, and you have to let everyone into your house once a year. Sure, sure.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm prepared to do this. Okay, so let's try this again. Even if you have to lie to me, you've got to convince me that you know what year this thing is. He is under oath. I'm under oath, and I do know that this chair was manufactured within the mid 70s, that they made it for like six years. And of course, it was shaped like an egg. Yeah, right. I could have told you that. What color is it? What color is it? Beige? Is it Big Mac colored?

No, it is white. White. The blue interior. Brown eggs are local eggs and local eggs are fresh. white, the blue interior. Brown eggs are local eggs and local eggs are fresh. Right. And I purchased it from a print classifieds that was in 2009. It was already pretty out of date, but I found it and I purchased it for either 50 or $75, but it was in terrible shape. And so I purchased it and I rehabilitated it, put new foam in because it was dry rotted and I installed some high end stereo, like car stereo speakers into it because it did not have speakers. Now by doing this, you put some high end, it had car speakers in it before? No, actually it did not have speakers in it.

It just had the holes. So they didn't all have speakers in them. They were all speaker ready. Let me take a look at your work here. So you sent in some evidence, and listeners, if you are not driving around, you can check this out on MaximumFun.org, the John Hodgman page.

And I see here the fiberglass shell of an egg chair. Was this the condition that it was originally in? No, actually, if you got a picture of me sitting in it, that's the condition it was originally in. Oh, okay. Okay. So it doesn't look that bad, but the foam was all dry rotted and it was stained and it was in bad shape. Right. Okay. So imagine for those of you who saw Men in Black and Will Smith is sitting in that chair when he's being recruited into Men in Black. So imagine something like that, more ovaloid, that is to say egg-shaped, with a light blue interior, and instead of Will Smith sitting in it,

like this dude in jeans from South Florida. Very handsome dude, though, I will say. Yeah, but he's almost as handsome as Will Smith. He's no Willie Big Time. Fresh Prince. That guy owns Independence Day. independence day even now even now after that movie still owns independence day isn't that weird we sold we sold the date of july 4th to will smith all right so you found this for 50 bucks did you say 75 bucks uh either i think it

was 75 actually okay and was this in are you from actually. Okay. And was this in, are you from Florida? You live in Florida now, but are you from there? No, I'm actually, when I bought the chair, I was living in Blacksburg, Virginia. Oh, the Commonwealth of Virginia, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're both from Virginia. We met there and dated there. Now, where I see this chair, this is sort of the first, you're sitting in it when you are first in love with the chair.

It's like situated by some garbage. Yeah. Yeah. That was in the, in the garage where it, uh, is this your garbage garage or the, or the garbage pile of the person you bought it from?

This is the garbage. This is my, my garbage. Okay. The minute you got it back. Right. Oh, you were so happy.

Who took the photo? Oh yeah. Was it you Cara? No, I believe it was my mother. Oh, okay. The minute you got it back. Right. Oh, you were so happy. Who took the photo? Oh, yeah. Was it you, Kara? No. I believe it was my mother. Oh, there you go. Boys love their mothers. Is your mother still living?

Yes, she is. Oh, because I thought if she wasn't, then maybe you could use that as sort of fuel for your argument. Yes, bailiff Monty Belmonte. You're not supposed to help them. Sorry. You look so happy in this chair. You know, at this this point it's clearly garbage, it's all scuffed up Well, it hasn't been restored yet, and right now it is at a stage of completion But it's still got a lot of potential, I've been wanting to make it into At the time, in 2009, everybody was talking about multimedia

And it was my intention to make that chair a multimedia device basically oh you just like oh cara you have a computer cara wins goodbye i'm going back on vacation now look as a as a as a dude who is fond of the 70s one of the greatest cultural moments of our time and of these and and i and i dig this chair because it looks cool in space age and i and you know i i grew up watching buck rogers this would be something you would see on the buck rogers show i am all set to find in your favor until you said this thing about it being i'm turning into a multimedia chair

what do you do for a living marketing i'm an entomologist you're back baby i don't think there is anything that could have saved you from the multimedia hole except entomology what do you what of, you study stick bugs, walking sticks? No, I specialize in social insects. So it's the bees and especially the termites. Termites are the bread and butter.

Yeah. What is that, what is the sexual structure of a beehive called again? A colony? Yeah, I know what a colony is. I was just in kenneth bunkport home of the colony hotel one of the one of maine's oldest resorts hotels fresh bananas

oh no no no don't you too much too much i mean haplodiploidy oh you are social you are social oh you social yeah that's the social i I'm sorry, Usocial. Yeah. I always called it Uosocial because Usocial sounds like a terrible social network that someone started. Usocial? Usocial? Like they would advertise Usocial.com or probably not even that,.biz. Usocial.biz on like daytime cable television. Daytime cable news television for old people who didn't understand how Facebook worked.

Tired of hearing your kids talk about Facebook? Sign up for YouSocial.biz. And then their marketing line is YouSocial? Yes, I is. Just give us your social security number and we'll take all your money. Oh, it's digressive, everybody. All right. All right. All right.

So, okay. So you study eusocial insects such as bees and termites. And eusocial, just to test if you are truly an entomologist. By the way, you passed. But describe what I call eusocial, what you call eusocial. Right. Well, there are different levels of sociality in insects. Eusocial is the most social. You have to fit certain requirements to reach different levels of sociality.

You have to have overlapping generations living together. And that's just one of the most rudimentary ones. You have to have specified casts as in tasks that are allocated for different different individuals within a colony and um i'm not remembering the third one right now you did a good job let me ask you this i'll ask you this question as you are an entomologist speaking as an entomologist tell me just what sort of and how many disgusting bugs crawled out of this trash chair that you brought into your house? Actually, I don't remember. I don't remember anything specific, actually, that came out of it. Not that I remember.

I mean, it was a long time ago. But since moving to Florida, it's packed full of palmettos now, right? Well, it's actually not in Florida. It's in my parents' storage shed in Virginia still. And this is the crux of the issue. You want to bring it down to Florida. Sorry, I wasn't listening. All right. Yes. Thank you. I got I got really distracted by your amazing career. And you're in the in the in the in the bipolar roller coaster you led me on where you almost turned me off completely by saying you wanted to turn into a multimedia chair. turned me off completely by saying you wanted to turn into a multimedia chair now cara it's your turn to talk why won't you let your beloved have his special chair

uh well at first we didn't bring the chair because we were just moving into a one-bedroom apartment so we didn't have space for much stuff then. And then now we bought a house. And so that's when the egg chair has come back into our lives as a discussion as to whether we should bring it here. Now, which one of you, where in South Florida do you live? We live in Hollywood near Fort Letardew. Okay. And how, why?

Well, the bugs brought us here. Is that true? The entomology is the reason we're here. That makes sense. There are, the bugs brought us here. Is that true? Entomology is the reason we're here. That makes sense. There are a lot of bugs down there. Yes. Are you also an entomologist? Oh, no. No. I'm a teacher. Of entomology?

No. I'm an English and journalism teacher and newspaper advisor. Oh, a newspaper advisor. You advise newspapers to stop being newspapers? No, like you help kids learn trades that are no longer necessary? We're focusing on the future of the newspaper online and multimedia. That's all right. I'll give you a pass. I know what you're talking about now. Because you're talking about helping a great American and international institution of news gathering and dissemination to survive and thrive in a challenging new media environment. You're not talking about how you can hook up your PlayStation to your egg chair.

Well, PlayStation 2, probably, given the terms of multimedia. All right. Trying to install a CD--rom drive into your egg chair so you can so you can you can listen to uh steven hawking style auto recorded uh auto generated reading of jurassic park i almost bought jurassic park on cd-rom by the way in 1992 but that's a different story yeah i can tell i got to you didn't it aaron okay so kara you're you're doing good in the world. Your husband's fiddling with bugs and this chair. I know that you make zero dollars, right, Kara, because you're a teacher?

Yeah, public school teacher, yes. Yeah. That's for you. For public school teachers everywhere thank you and are you employed aaron i'm employed aaron oh yeah yeah i'm employed i'm not a professor but i am i do work for a university um and secondary i am working on a phd also but uh are you tenure track at bug university tenure no i'm not. Oh, you're working on your PhD.

Exactly. I have a master's. I'm a researcher at a university. But in my spare time, I'm a PhD student. In Bugs. In Bugs. So you have no money either. Not a lot, no. Because what I'm trying to figure out here is why it is an issue that there is not room in your home for an egg chair when you live in South Florida. Like, don't they have too many houses in Florida? Is real estate really expensive?

too many houses in Florida? Is real estate really expensive? Well, it is if you're trying to buy a fancy house, like if you're trying to buy one of the waterfront properties. But there's a lot of houses. That's not for you. That's not for you, Dr. Bug, and teach. No. You just want something modest.

But real estate, I mean, I know you guys are a little cash want something modest but real estate i mean i know you guys are are a little cash strapped but real estate is pretty the last time i was in florida it's still pretty depressed is it not yeah it is we bought the house about a year ago the market's coming back it is okay all right but the issue the the argument you're making, Kara, is that your home is still too small for an egg chair. Yes. Yes. It is slightly bigger than our apartment. But transporting it from Virginia down here to a small house just doesn't seem like it makes sense right now to me.

Why not? Well, because we don't really have a good place for it because we have small bedrooms and there isn't really... How many bedrooms? We have three bedrooms. Three bedrooms. Yes, but they're all... How many children do you have?

None yet, but that's what we want to have. So one of them would be for a child, future child. One bedroom would be... Hypothetical child. Be for a hypothetical child. And the third bedroom is your egg chair room. Well, right now, one

of the rooms is a guest room, so for family. We've had a lot of families stay with us recently. Because I thought maybe you had children, because there's this picture here of these two children. Right, those are my nieces. Oh, they're your nieces, and they're sitting in your egg chair in Virginia. Exactly. Oh, they're having nieces and they're sitting in your egg chair in Virginia. Exactly.

Oh, they're having such a good time, Kara. I know. And now here's your house. Here's a picture of your house. By the way, beautifully decorated. Oh, thank you. No, you did a really nice job and you got kind of a mid-century modern aesthetic going on here, right? You've been cracking the design within reach catalogs, haven't you? going on here, right? You've been cracking the design within reach catalogs, haven't you?

I think, is that a DWR sofa that you got there? Is that where you put all of your life savings? No, that sofa. That was a Craigslist sofa. Craigslist. Nice. Guys, this is a show, your home is a showpiece. I notice above, I literally just noticed above your TV, your beautiful exposed white brick wall, you've got a little bookshelf including a copy of my book, That Is All, by John Hodgman. Yes, and I didn't even think about that until after I sent the picture.

No, you didn't. You didn't bribe received, though. Bribe received. I'm making a note. Next year, weird whale weather vane. Okay, so that's a living room now now the door but the living room so you have a front door opening right into the living room which is which is usually a sign of horrible poverty sorry that's why i have one of those

you know you know what i'm saying if you don't have a foyer or a hallway, any kind of intermediate space between relaxing and outside, right? Well, you have another door on the other side that goes into the kitchen. Okay. And then you have these sort of sliding glass doors that seem to look out onto a carport? It's a screen porch. It's a screen porch that has, it looks like there's a lawnmower out there and a bicycle yeah yeah and a lot of frogs and lizards lizards i know coconut shells yeah and bugs yeah sure yeah all right and you so where so and then you have a picture of an office uh and then you

have a picture of an office so i'm i'm guessing because there are two pictures of the office that this is where you suggest the egg chair should live, Aaron? Well, I would prefer it to be in the main room. Forget that. But I'd be willing to settle for putting it in the office slash hypothetical nursery. You obviously don't know how to negotiate at all. You should have said it has to be in the main room. I know. Yeah. I actually did know it better i just you yeah uh yeah um yeah i mean i

all right in this office this office situation is the is the third bedroom now yeah it doesn't really it hasn't really been established as much of anything except a place to put the stuff that we don't have in the other rooms right and so that that is a dragonfly uh rug a rolling chair a desk and and a hat and a few hats and it looks like a cd stand you still have a cd stand in there okay the stand but it's more for just like crafts for multimedia for multimedia it's for keeping for keeping all of your compact discs and laser discs and your and your dats your dat tapes and your and your high eight vhs your high eight reels yeah your real to reels nice yeah because no no no no flies no flies, entomologist. You are up to date. All right. Kara, quickly, why not the living room?

Well, I mean, you see the picture of the living room. There's just no room for it in there. It would look great in there. It would look great in there? Yeah. It will look great in there. Yeah. Well, I just think it's the problem I have with the living room is maybe we can make it work like aesthetically. But it's not a chair that you can talk to people in. It's not like a living room chair because you would you sit in that chair.

You lean back and you're it's for listening to music. Yeah. You can't. The all encompassing egg chair from the 70s designed for you to listen exclusively to yes albums is not for talk interacting with the outside world exactly exactly the thing practically has a roach clip built into it it's a terrible living room chair that's what i'm saying i think it would be great if we had a music room of some kind where we had space for that it would be really cool we had a music room of some kind where we had space

for that it would be really cool for that i just think in a living room it's not gonna work it does seem a little bit like a den chair or the you know the the words that i refuse to speak but are common in culture now they rhyme with lamb shave tan crave I know what you mean. They have a scented candle of such. Yes, exactly. It does seem like the perfect chair for that. So if this third bedroom right now is for assorted junk, why not his assorted junk in there as well? I'm more open to that, but it's just such a small room um

it's a very small room and it would take up a lot of space in there and then we hope to be pregnant soon so if we have a baby then we have to move the chair and then what are we going to do with it then oh because of your oh this is this is currently your guest room your family guest room no that room is just is an office right now or a wait we have had guests is this is this office room cara don't wait for the translation is this office room i'm looking at right now one of the three bedrooms yes all right yes so right now you have your bedroom a guest bedroom and then this room which is a bunch of cruddy media stands and the dragonfly carpet just waiting around for your precious baby to be no well i mean that's what we it will eventually be that yes right now it is for guests on air

mattresses and you know what's happening in the second bedroom oh that's where we have a bed and why isn't that closet why isn't that oh do you guys sleep separately oh no no but our room doesn't have a big enough closet for both of us so he puts his stuff in the guest room closet all right then i use do you have a bedroom yes what is What is in the... All right. Well, no chairs go in there. No, there's no room. Bedrooms are not for sitting, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Second bedroom.

That's a... Oh. Second bedroom has a bed in it. Right. And third bedroom has dragonfly carpet and desk and media stands and leftover junk. Seems perfect for an egg chair. If this baby comes, which bedroom are you going to put it in? Second bedroom or dragonfly room?

The dragonfly room. Dragonfly room is the future nursery. Yes. Second bedroom is current guest room, let's say yes all right yes it'll stay guest room for it aaron i'm going to ask you a few more questions about this chair and i'm going to make my ruling the footprint of the chair if you were to compare it to this dragonfly carpet how much of this dragonfly carpet would the footprint of the chair take up? I mean, literally the pedestal, because people have to understand this thing has a pedestal, and then it has this voluminous eggy shape around it with an upholstered blue inside.

The pedestal, though, if you had to imagine, would that take up a quarter of that carpet, half of that carpet? The pedestal would take up up the actual pedestal itself would take up um uh the upper it would take a half the carpet the pedestal would take half the carpet not the pedestal but the whole chair the whole chair footprint would be about half that carpet right okay okay and next. You restored this yourself? Yes. Okay. And what did the restoration involve? Obviously, you stripped out the upholstery. You say you replaced it with some high-end speakers. Right.

That's behind it. I put the high-end speakers in there, and I replaced the foam. Meanwhile, I had the upholstery professionally cleaned, and then I reapplied it. I re-glued it to the foam and then put it all back in. So it's the original upholstery. Yes. Okay. And then you tried to install a couple of hardwire firewire ports on there because those will never go out of style?

Not yet, no okay it just has speaker speaker wire coming out of the base that you plug into an amplifier right the the end the end result is that uh is this picture of this adorable your adorable nieces in this in this chair sitting on this old toxic upholstery from the 70s no that's been cleaned it's been cleaned yeah they got the lead out both ligured figuratively and literally okay i'm gonna ask you i'm gonna ask you a hard question now three hard questions where is the ottoman that goes with this chair i do not have the ottoman all right yeah two given that you don't have the ottoman to complete the chair do you think this chair has any intrinsic collector's value yes absolutely it does have you had it appraised uh no i haven't had it appraised okay

i think you would find that without the ottoman, it is not going to be very valuable. Not tremendously, no. But certainly more than the $75 that I bought it for. Third, why is the base of this chair beneath your nieces all gunked up and disgusting?

I'm not looking at the picture right now. Have you seen the chair that you own? Well, yeah, but actually that was taken when i no longer had it in my possession because i was living here you're saying your nieces messed up your chair i didn't these two babies got in there and messed up the polyurethane shell of this chair it's possible that the chair collected some dust when that i don't think this is dust man get the picture who sent this picture in anyway i've got it oh what's happened here is it's not actually gunk what you're seeing is the inside that that upholstery is pushed in a little bit

when it's normally there it'll be coming out i need to like reaffix it to the, but the bottom, the bottom, look, dude, I am looking right now at a photograph. Yeah. I'm looking at the same photograph. No, I'm looking at a different photograph. You don't know what photograph I'm looking at. Stop telling me what photographs I'm looking at. Order.

That's what you say. I just take them away. I appreciate that. You can put your handcuffs back. I'm looking at a, at a photograph on First Dibs. I had to find my First Dibs login information to get the price for this thing.

First Dibs is a website where dealers sell collectibles and antiques and furniture and stuff. Okay. For a 1970 vintage Lee West Alpha Chamber egg pod stereo chair. Guess what they're selling it for? Aaron. Three or four hundred dollars.

Kara. Like a brand, like a, with the ottoman and everything? Oh, with the ottoman. You never would have asked that question if I had not. Oh, boo. No, I know about the ottoman. Oh, tell me. Oh, you know about the ottoman. When, tell me you know about the ottoman.

When he got it, I looked it up online. I remember the ottoman being an issue. Yeah. And so based on your extensive research, which actually is precisely equal to my extensive research, if not greater, since you should know then what a 1970 vintage Lee West Alpha Chamber Eggpod Stereo Chair with ottoman, this one in golden and beige, would go for how much? It was a long time ago when I looked at this. It was, I mean, it could be up to $1,000. I know, this has been a big part of your life.

It was in good shape. It could be up to that, to $1,000. I remember seeing some that were up to that. This one's in perfect shape. And it's got the ottoman twenty four hundred dollars yeah i'm seeing others here in the white and blue uh that are asking uh between nine hundred and twelve hundred dollars but what i'm also seeing is the ottoman and I'm seeing upholstery that looks a little bit more professionally installed than yours.

Yeah. So how long do you want to have this chair for in the house? I mean, you want to have it forever from now on, right? Yeah. Yeah. How long are you going to live in South Florida?

Uh, five more years. And then when are you going to move back to the Commonwealth of Virginia? That would be ideal. You're going to take all your bug money and buy yourself a big bug house? Right, unfortunately. In pony country in Virginia? You have to kind of go where the job is.

Yeah, really? Virginia would be ideal. Right. You have to go where the bugs are, you know. You have to go where the bug jobs are. You foresee living in this tiny house until you finish your degree? Right. Yes.

And then you're going to move somewhere else? Probably, yeah. And in the meantime, are your nieces going to totally destroy this chair? The nieces are actually, right now, that chair is no longer in service. It's actually wrapped up in a shed. You didn't accidentally wrap up your nieces with it, did you? No, they're not still in there. They're still not in the egg.

They're at a different house. That was, that was them visiting grandma and grandpa. So look, I'm a, I'm in favor of this stuff. Make, but you know, this is a big chair. Make me one last argument why you should have this in your tiny little home in South Florida. It brings me joy all right that's it so you got well i mean it's a conversation piece it is it kind of fits in the mid-century modern uh design of uh not really that's popular in south florida 70s i don't know if that's mid-century modern it's more 70s

popular in South Florida. 70s. I don't know if that's mid-century modern. It's more 70s. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. What else you got?

Tell me how long you've been working on it again. It took me about three months or so to work on it. A whole three months of your life. Well, you're young. That's a lot in proportion to your life. What is your age? Oh, my. I'm 37.

Yeah. You're not that young. No. Kara, when when did you you say you looked this up a long time ago how long has this chair been a problem in your marriage well it wasn't it wasn't a problem in our marriage until well except that when he got it he was like that's all he could do talk about or fixate on was the egg chair and fixing it up so i guess maybe maybe then it was kind of a funny thing then but we we weren't going to ever bring it until now he wants to bring it here

so what do you think why do you a few months a few when did when did this chair come up in your lives again just a few months ago 2009 2009 he got it but when we purchased this house and moved out of a one-bedroom apartment was one year ago And that's when I started talking about it. All right. Gotcha. Um, all right. I think I have heard everything I need to carry. Any last words you want to say?

Why do you want to, why do you want to deny your husband joy and pleasure? I know that's how I feel like it always comes off. Right. Um, I am not opposed to having the chair with us in the future. I just think right now in the small house and the fact that it would require transportation of the chair to here and then it could potentially not work. Is this one of those?

Then what do we do with it? Right. Well, let me remind you that you're under fake oath. Yes. Is this one of those spousal discussions where in the future means never, ever, ever, ever? where in the future means never, ever, ever, ever? It doesn't really mean never because if we had a bigger house and we had said room that I imagine it would be cool in,

like a music room type thing. My parents had a music room in our house when I was a little kid. My dad had all his stereo stuff in there. I'm imagining that would be a really cool place to have it. What did your mom and dad do when you were growing up um my my dad is an attorney yeah you could have a music room look in a small town though yeah well yeah exactly attorneys did your mom have a career does she have a career what is that that? Hedge fund manager? No.

Yeah, she's done a lot of things. She's worked for a newspaper. She's been a sales manager. She's worked for a temporary service company. She's done a lot of things in business. Yeah. They get to have a music room. Yeah.

She ran a secondhand store. She ran a secondhand store. That goes along with the egg chair that's true English teacher they get to have a music room a hi-fi den okay I've heard everything I need to hear to make my decision

I am going to go sit in my perfect replica of Don Draper's New York penthouse living room and make my decision Kara and Aaron as bailiff Cooper's New York penthouse living room and make my decision. Kara and Aaron as bailiff. I'm not supposed to ask questions, but I think I think I have a few.

Kara, do you have a basement in your home? No, we live in Florida. I figured as much just checking in a flood zone. So right. Would you be a better auntie to Aaron's nieces if you let him have this chair? Would they be more inclined to come down and visit their beloved uncle? I don't know. If we had a basement, that would be the perfect place for this thing.

That's another option, but we don't right now. I don't know. We did not actually witness them in the chair. So I think they want to, they've been here before without the chair and had a great time. So it's not a deal breaker. No, not a deal breaker.

Who placed the Hodgman book on the shelf in the living room? Was it you, Tara or Aaron? Well, actually Aaron put the second one. The first book of John Hodgman's is also on that shelf. That's my book. But that was there when we first put the shelf up, which was a few months ago. OK. Now you, Aaron, mentioned a hypothetical nursery. Kara, you mentioned pregnancy. Is this his egg or yours situation? pregnancy, is this his egg or yours situation?

I mean, ideally, if we had space for both, that would be fine. I just don't think we do. We disagree on that, I guess. I think we don't have space. Now, Aaron, top three albums you would listen to in your egg chair? Oh, geez, it's always changing.

Today. The first album I ever listened to in it was Evolver by John Legend. Evolver. Second album? Or what you would listen to right now if this egg chair was in your home? Steely Dan Asia.

Now, you are an entomologist is sitting in an egg chair sort of a kafka-esque escapist wanting to be an egg desire of yours i had never considered that no psychologically do you think sitting in a hollowed out egg apart from the world and apart from your wife is social or are you antisocial? No, I'm definitely social and I'm definitely more interested in social insects than solitary insects.

So then why are you antisocial in the egg chair? Well, I guess it's just every now and then, you know. When Judge John Hodgman rules that you cannot have this egg chair, can I buy it off you to go with the arch lamp in my living room? Well, it's in storage in Virginia, so I don't think so. We're halfway. We're in Massachusetts. I could go get it. I got a friend with a truck. All right. We'll be back in just a moment with Judge John Hodgman's decision. All right. We'll be back in just a moment with Judge John Hodgman's decision.

You're listening to Judge John Hodgman. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. Of course, the Judge John Hodgman podcast always brought to you by you, the members of MaximumFun.org. Thanks to everybody who's gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. And you can join them by going to MaximumFun.org slash join. The Judge John Hodgman podcast is also brought to you this week by the folks over there at Babbel. Did you know that learning, the experience of learning causes a sound to happen? Let's hear the sound. Yep, that's the sound of you learning a sound to happen. Let's hear the sound. Yep, that's the sound of you learning a new language with Babbel. We're talking about quick 10-minute lessons crafted by over 200 language experts that can help you start speaking a new language in as little as one, two, three weeks. Let's hear that sound.

Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations and delivered with conversation-based teaching. So you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world and you get to hear the sound. It's not just like a game that pretends to teach you a language. It's also not a rigid, weird, hyper-academic chore. It is an actually productive app that actually teaches you while you are actually having a nice time. And you get to hear this sound. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash Hodgman. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash Hodgman, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash Hodgman. Rules and restrictions apply. The Judge John Hodgman podcast is also brought to you this week by our pals over at Made In.

Jesse, you've heard of Tom Colicchio, the famous chef, right? Yeah, from the restaurant Kraft. And did you know that most of the dishes at that very same restaurant are made with made-in pots and pans? Really? What's an example? The braised short ribs, they're made-in, made-in. The Rohan duck, made-in,

made-in. Riders of Rohan, duck! What about the Heritage Pork Shop? You got it. Made-in, made-in. Made in, made in. Made in has been supplying top chefs and restaurants with high-end cookware for years. They make the stuff that chefs need. Their carbon steel cookware is the best of cast iron, the best of stainless clad. It gets super hot.

It's rugged enough for grills or an open flame. One of the most useful pans you can own. And like we said, good enough for real professional chefs, the best professional chefs. Oh, so I have to go all the way down to the restaurant district in restaurant town? Just buy it online. This is professional grade cookware that is available online directly to you, the consumer, at a very reasonable price yeah if you want to take your cooking to the next level remember what so many great dishes on menus all around the world have in common they're made in made in save up to 25 this memorial day from the 18th until the 27th

visit made in cookware.com that's m-a-d-e-i-n cookware.com. That's M-A-D-E-I-N cookware.com. Hello, teachers and faculty. This is Janet Varney. I'm here to remind you that listening to my podcast, The JV Club with Janet Varney, is part of the curriculum for the school year. Learning about the teenage years of such guests as Alison Brie, Vicki Peterson, John Hodgman, and so many more is a valuable and enriching experience, one you have no choice but to embrace, because yes, listening is mandatory. The JV Club with Janet Varney is available every Thursday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

And remember, no running in the halls. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try S-T-O-P-P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-R. Were you trying to put the name of the podcast there? Yeah, I'm trying to spell it, but it's tricky. Let me give it a try. Okay. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, call S-T-O-P-P-P-A-D-I.

It'll never fit. No, it will. Let me try. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try S-T-O-P-P-P-D-C-O-O. Ah, we are so close. Stop podcasting yourself. A podcast from MaximumFun.org.

If you need a laugh, and you're on the go. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom. Oh, this banana is so fresh. Oh, it's still fresh, everybody. It's amazing. So, mmm. It's amazing. So, we got fresh bananas. Kara.

Yes. You seem to be the voice of reason here because this chair is clearly too big for your house. And even though it is beloved, you also acknowledge, as do you, Erin, that this house is temporary, as all stays in a 1,000-square-foot basementless house in South Florida should be temporary. No offense, South Floridians. I look forward to seeing you in Fort Lauderdale as we board the Atlantic Ocean Festival of Music and Comedy, also known as BoatParty.biz. You can throw fresh bananas at me then.

But this is not a place where you're going to live for the rest of your lives. This thing is large. It is too big for your home. And therefore, really impractical to have at this stage in your life. Kara has made that argument well. But Kara, you're saying things like, you know, when we are at a different point in our life, when we have a music room like my dad had. And you know what? I'm going to tell you something right now.

That makes me nervous, because that's never going to happen. Because your dad was an attorney. Your dad was an attorney in the 70s. He could have an egg chair, and the hi-fi, and the reel-to-reel. Because there was a middle class then.

And even if he wasn't a hotshot attorney, he probably brought in enough bucks so he could buy a hotshot attorney, he probably brought in enough bucks. You could buy a house and have a separate room just for listening to your Steely Dan in. Because that's what you could get in the 70s if you were a professional person. Now, it's 2013. You're in South Florida. It's still, there is no middle class anymore. And let me tell you something,

English Teach and the Bug Prof, as much as it sounds like a great 70s sitcom, you guys don't get a music room. You're lucky if you get a thousand square feet. In South Florida, that's what you get. That's the American dream for you. You're never gonna you get 1,000 square feet in South Florida. That's what you get. That's the American dream for you. You're never going to get that music room unless one of you becomes a hedge fund manager. So stop dreaming.

I think that Kara makes a really good argument, though. Now that she's rooted back in reality, get another 200 300 square feet maybe maybe even 500 square feet you can bring that egg chair into your life with impunity and you should aaron because it is something that is clearly dear to you you've taken a lot of time and care to get it to look a little less like garbage. It obviously needs some more work on the upholstery. If you want to get some of those first dibs prices for it. And you're going to have to find an ottoman somewhere, buddy.

But at the very least, it gives you joy. And for that reason, I'm going to rule in your favor. It is wildly impractical for you to have this dumb chair that is not yet finished, restoration-wise, and doesn't look as great as you think it does, as everyone on the website will tell you. Thank you. In that dragonfly carpet room. Wildly impractical. great as you think it does as everyone on the website will tell you thank you in that in that dragonfly carpet room wildly impractical it will take up the whole room that will be the egg chair room but i make two arguments you're waiting on this and also you got to drag it all the way from

the commonwealth of virginia to the state of florida only to either discard it in the state of florida once you come to your senses or bring it with you to the music room paradise that Kara has in her mind when she finally gets to move back to daddy's house. But I make two counter arguments to rationality here. One is this is the time to be irrational. You don't have a child yet you're still following your weird dreams of teaching kids how to make newspapers and how to teach bugs how to take over the world or whatever it's still time for kid dreams in your life

you can be impractical now and two oh i don't remember what the other one was. Oh, yeah, I do remember. Which is this. First of all, that room will be a nursery. I don't know when it's going to happen. Neither do you. If anything, this will be a saying goodbye for you to young couplehood without children. A saying goodbye to you, bug prof, to the youth that you've already wasted on bugs. This is a last chance to enjoy a room that can be devoted entirely to an egg-shaped multimedia chair. And, let's face it, that room is already full of garbage.

Your living room is beautiful, but that room, everyone on the web I think will agree, that room is already full of garbage. Your living room is beautiful, but that room, everyone on the web, I think, will agree. That room is just full of cast off garbage, weird Panama hats and dumb. It's terrible. So you might as well do it up now. Get it out of your system. And then. Okay. And I'm not.

Well, you know what? I'm making this a judge. You have to conceive a child in that chair. That's all I'm not making, well, you know what? I'm making this a judge's order. You have to conceive a child in that chair. That's all I'm saying. It's got fertility written all over it. I mean, that's what it's for. It's an egg. It's an egg.

That's what we've been doing wrong. That may be what you're doing wrong. Put that egg in that future nursery, crank up the Steely Dan. Oh, no. Please don't make me crank up the steely dan oh no please don't make me crank up or what was the other one the one the the album that you said in order to seem cool for a second john legend crank up you know what cara you pick something out from your old real to real collection that will go into the will fit into this egg chair. Crank it up. Drink some Malibu rum or whatever they drink in South Florida. Sorry, everyone in Florida.

Let things happen the way they're going to happen. And pretty soon, there's going to be every reason in the world to put that egg chair into a storage space. And you know there's plenty of storage space for cheap in Florida. And then we can all enjoy that egg chair when it shows up in Storage Wars next year, when you abandon it there in favor of your child. This is the sound of a gavel. Judge John Hodgman rules that is all.

Aaron, I thought you were out of luck there, Bodhisattva, but you get the chair, it looks like. You have a plan to get this chair from the Commonwealth of Virginia down to Florida? Well, yeah, I think if it doesn't slide into the back of our car, then I'll strap it to the roof. I mean, it's aerodynamic. We'll just cover it with tarp and drive it down. tarp and drive it down. Now, Kara, were you hoping that you would be able to sell this egg chair for $2,400 and then maybe buy another foreclosed upon South Florida home that would be giving you

enough space for a multimedia center egg chair? No, I wasn't even thinking about selling it. I just didn't want it in this house, but I will. I am open to it now. Well, good luck conceiving in that egg chair. And for for your sake, I think with your daddy issues, Cara, I hope that Aaron becomes the Neil deGrasse Tyson of entomologists. So you can have that dream multimedia center. Thank you, Aaron and Cara, for being on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Well, thank you guys very much. Thank you. judge, John Hodgman podcast. Well,

thank you guys very much. Thanks very much guys. Have fun in the chair. Time to clear the docket. Oh, you want some banana? Yes. Clear the pallet and the docket.

I really, this is real. I literally gave them the chair. I'm just going to toss a piece to you. Let's see if I can Blue Man Groove style get it into my mouth. Open your mouth. Hi, Jinx. Hello, Jinx.

Mick writes, I have a note regarding the tattoo episode, Permanent Record, wherein it was said that having exposed tattoos in Japan will cause trouble. That's nonsense. I traveled in Japan for six weeks as part of a liberal arts program, and many of my classmates had exposed tattoos. It was never an issue, not even in bathhouses. You see, foreigners get a free pass on this rule and some other rules. Some other rules.

I could go into the cultural reasoning, but in the interest of time, I should probably swallow this banana. Let's just say there is no situation where a tourist would be suspect of being Yakuza. The Yakuza does not employ foreigners. Well, I'm glad we finally set that Australian boyfriend straight. That girl should get her tattoo like she wanted. That's all I have to say. I like that one.

I don't have to solve anything. By the way, occasionally Yakuza does employ foreigners. That's what the mustache is all about. No, no. I was talking about the guy selling bananas up in Kennebunkport. I think he is a Yakuza does employ foreigners. That's what the mustache is all about. No, no, I was talking about the guy selling bananas up in Kennebunkport. I think he is a Yakuza. Did he have a tattoo? Of a banana. Fresh bananas here.

Wiggle your fingers. Peter writes, my friend Mark and I are in a band that plays short two-minute-ish power pop songs. I do not want to hear the name of your band. We've been playing shows and recording demos for a year or two now, and now want to do a studio recording. I don't care about your band. We'd like to have... A la Julie Klausner.

We'd like to have a great professional recording we could use when trying to book shows or even sell to the public. I'm not going to record your band in my private egg-shaped recording studio. We disagree about what form our first real recording should take. I think it should be an EP. Having fewer songs will let us only select the very best songs for recording. I also think people are more likely to listen to an EP from a group they don't know than an LP since there are fewer songs to browse.

Mark thinks we should record an LP. He says the audience and venues would take us more seriously if we had a full album. No one's taking you seriously. And we could showcase a variety of musical styles. No, you have no style. We would love a ruling on which is a better strategy for a rock band making their first recording an EP or an LP. Is there any notes? There is the band name if you want me to buzz market them.

Oh, go ahead. I've been so mean to them. The Pleasure Centers. Oh. That's a pretty good band name. All right. Two-ish minute power pop songs. two-ish minute power pop songs.

Obviously, you should record a ca-single that can be played on an egg-shaped audiophonic experience. Barring that, I would say, look, I'm not a professional disc jockey who goes out and sees bands and decides who's going to be the next big fish or whatever it is

you like up here in western Massachusettsachusetts the pixies right i don't have to you're the one who decides who's the pixies yeah what was the first thing the pixies put out come on pilgrim was an lp or an ep um i actually almost went to a record store today to see if they had on vinyl i'm pretty sure it's an extended ep but i'm not 100 sure let's go check it out. I've never owned Come On Pilgrim. That was why I wanted to go get it. I've only had their kind of major releases. Come On Pilgrim. It's the debut mini LP

by the American alternative rock band. Between EP and LP. That's wrong. Is there a fart noise? I already did that for Steely Dan. This is the Pixies, and they only get something good. That's the best thing I got here. This is the Pixies, so they get...

Pleasure Centers shall record a mini-LP, which Wikipedia describes as a short vinyl record album or LP. Short, though. Lower price on an album that would be considered full length. This has got to be an EP, right? Look, why don't you guys split the difference, record a mini EP, and I'll listen to it. And I will say as a radio programmer,

as a radio programmer, unless you are an established band, nobody wants to hear your album and your album concept and the arc and the creativity of your entire album yet. They just want a taste of whether or not they like you, so I would say the shorter the better. The Judge John Hodgman Podcast is taped in front of a live studio audience. I think that takes us out.

Mini-LP it is. Thanks to Rick Amick for suggesting this week's case name. Thanks, Rick. To suggest a name for a future case, like us on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions. I've been your guest bailiff, Monty Belmonte of WRSI, The River. Thanks, Monty. Thanks for joining us for the Judge John Hodgman Podcast.

The Judge John Hodgman Podcast is a production of maximum fun.org our special thanks to all the folks who donate to support the show and all of our shows at maximum fun.org slash donate the show is produced by julia smith and me jesse thorn and edited by mark mcconville you can check out his podcast super ego in itunes or online at gosuperego.com. You can find John Hodgman online at areasofmyexpertise.com. If you have a case for Judge John Hodgman, go to maximumfund.org slash JJHO. If you have thoughts about the show, join the conversation on our forum at forum.maximumfund.org and our Facebook group at facebook.com slash Judge John Hodgman. We'll see you online and next time right here on the Judge

John Hodgman podcast. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.