Judge John Hodgman - Statute of Imitations

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Gaela and Cesca are identical twins. Gaela wants to pull some classic twin-switch pranks but Cesca thinks these types of pranks are hack! What does Judge John Hodgman think? With identical twin Expert Witnesses Jason Sklar and Randy Sklar! Who's right? Who's wrong?We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/mkbecker for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! MaxFunDrive ends on March 28, 2025! Support our show now and get access to bonus content by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne. It's the second week of the Max Fund Drive, the very best time of year. Our show exists because folks like you support it. Memberships start at just $5 a month and we hope that you will go to maximumfund.org slash join and become a member or boost or upgrade your membership.

We'll talk more about the Max Fund Drive later on in the program, but for now suffice it to say this week, Statute of Imitations. Gala brings the case against her twin sister, Cheska. Cheska's life ambition is to do a twin-based prank with Cheska. She says they're missing out on an identical twin

rite of passage. But Cheska disagrees. She's content with her twinness, and she thinks pranks are mean. Who's right, who's wrong, only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference. Finish potato salad hungry? This Poto, dear Cabengo, eat.

Hear more Poto? Yeah. Bailiff Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in. Cheska and Gaila, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you, God or whatever. I do, or whatever.

They finished their sentences. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he is his own identical twin? Yes, yeah. In a sort of existential form that only an only child can understand. I absolutely dress like myself every day. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.

Cheska and Gail, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors. Can either of you name the piece of culture I referenced when I entered the courtroom? Cheska, let's start with you. If you are indeed Cheska and you haven't switched places with your sister. Yeah. Switched so that I could not know. Yeah, switched places across the country. After all, Cheska, you are in California, Gaila, you are in New York City.

Sorry, Cheska, I interrupted you. What is your guess? Yes, my guess would be a feed from a different planet where potatoes are currency and everyone's a twin. From a different planet where potatoes are currency and everyone's a twin. From a different planet where potato is currency and everyone's a twin. Do you have a less obvious guess? Yeah, I have a prepared guess that would be totally wrong. Well, let's hear the prepared guess too. I love to hear them.

Yeah. So my prepared guess is the play Manic Me by the ancient Roman playwright, Plautus. Well, that's an intriguing guess. And you're absolutely right. No, I wish I could say that that was true. Let's put it in the guest book anyway. Gaila, what's your guess? So I also don't know.

So I'm gonna use one of my prepared guesses. Was that something to do with the Burner Street hoax of 1810, by any chance? Well, I mean, obviously, I know all about the Burner Street hoax of 1810, but for the benefit of our listeners, could you explain what you're talking about? It was a hoax wherein rich people in London with nothing to do bet each other. This man bet another man that he could make one house the most talked about house in London in a week. Okay. So he sent out, I don't know, sort of like the equivalent of the time of like spam mail and invited like thousands of carpenters and salesmen and things like that to come to the house.

To make it the most interesting house. The most talked about house. The most talked about house. And it worked. And they watched from the other side, from the other side of the street as this random people's house on Burner Street. Because in the 19th century in London, there was it was like a national pastime to see how many carpenters and salesmen

you could fit in a house. Yeah, just as a fun, just as fun, just for a laugh. Oh, like pole setting in the 1920s. It was a fad. Yeah. Carpenter stuffing. Well, as delightful as all these guesses are, they are all of them wrong. I wonder, without saying anything, if our special guests in the studio knew what I was referring to. If yes, raise your hand. If no, don't raise your hand. Okay. Well, we'll get to our special guests in a moment, but it looks like we have to hear this case. The correct answer is a Time Magazine article from Monday, December 10, 1979.

It was a quote from a profile on the identical twins, Virginia and Grace Kennedy, who grew up in poverty in rural Georgia and were thought to be mentally disabled when they were born, and therefore they were not educated by their parents. That was a call they made until later in their lives and during their early childhood they developed what is called a cryptophagia or ideoglossia twin talk, a language of their own. They referred to themselves, each other I should say, as Poto and Cabengo. Those were their nicknames. And there was a documentary, or they're given names within their ideoglossic language.

And there was a documentary made about them in 1980 called Poto and Cabengo, and they were an object of much fascination. Nowadays, it is not believed that twin languages are true languages, but it is usually thought to be one twin adapting to another who might have a slower linguistic developmental pattern. But the Poto and Cabengo were a very, very famous case study of what is called ideoglossia or cryptophagia,

which is to say a language is created within a very, very small community, in this case, an identical community of two. Don't know what's happened with them lately. They are a year younger than me. When they were 30 years old, they were working and one was in job training and the other one was working in a fast food restaurant, I think still in Georgia.

If anyone knows out there what happened to them, I would love to know, but I don't know the update. I would have thought that this would love to know, but I don't, I don't know the update. I would have thought that this would have been required reading for all identical twins, but I guess, I guess it's only weird only children with a copy of the People's Almanac who read about Poto and Kabengo before. So here we are to hear this case. Who seeks justice in this courtroom from me? I think it's me. Yeah, I think it's you, Gayla, correct? For justice and pranks. Justice and pranks? Yeah.

You would like to enlist your identical twin sister, Cheska, in pulling some classic identical twin pranks. Is that right? Yes, that is true. Gayla, how would you define in general terms what a twin-based prank is? Well, I think it's a prank that relies on the fact that two people look the same.

Yeah. What you do? Yeah. Okay. Involving, I would say, switching or sort of pretending to be one person, something like that. And, you know, something that surprises or tricks

or delights. This is usually to get adults together like in the parent trap. What was the plot of the parent trap? Yeah, it's usually used to create romance between divorced parents. That's what it, right. Trick or divorced parents to get back together, right?

Yes. That's what they're most often used for. Okay. I think I understand. Other than Jose Canseco and Ozzie Canseco allegedly switching jerseys, what are the classic twin pranks? I think a lot of them do take place at school. Like, oh, you're better at math, so let's switch,

or like, let's fool our parents. And you've never done this, you've never, I mean, you're no longer in elementary school, I take it. You're adults. We missed the boat on those. What kind of jobs do you have? I'm a video editor. I'm a PhD student studying Roman archeology. So she's still in school actually, so.

Oh, okay. So do you have any video editing exams coming up in your PhD program in archaeology? If only, truly. Gail, what kind of twin-based pranks are you thinking about? Do you have any inspirations? Do you have any ideas? What kind of pranks are you thinking about? Do you have any inspirations?

Do you have any ideas? Well, I've been fielding, you know, some suggestions from friends and from the people of Reddit. And I don't want any of the pranks to be mean because then Cheska will say no. And I know you don't like to make people do things they don't want to do. So I have a lot of, most of my ideas sort of border on performance art or pranks. I don't know. I know you have a specific prank that you want to pitch to Cheska. But Cheska, why do you want to deny your sister her dream?

Well, yeah, because I'm terrible, clearly. No, but I just don't want to do the twin-based pranks. I actually have nothing against pranks generally. I think some pranks can be fun, but I think the twin-based pranks are really childish and generally they can be kind of mean, like feels more like a trick than a prank. I see. And you, do you swear to God or whatever the two of you aren't pranking us right now? I do. Cheska, what was it like growing up with an identical twin?

It was great. I love being a twin and it was nice to have like a friend always but it also meant that a lot of the times we were kind of treated as one person almost and even our parents would kind of dress us the same so there's a lot of effort later on to show that we were different people. Cheska, what was it like to grow up with an identical sister in your home? Yeah, I mean, generally it was very fun and I love being a twin. And as a kid, I thought it was great to always have a best friend there.

But it also was kind of hard for us to differentiate ourselves. People always wanted to kind of treat us as one person and our mom often dressed us the same and things like that. So yeah. Jessica, of course she did. I mean, no, I don't blame her. I don't blame her.

That was right of her. This is why, I mean, you get identical twins. Were you gonna deny yourself the pleasure of dressing them exactly the same? You sent in some photos that I, I must say you sent in some photos that are adorable. Yes, they're very cute. All these photos are available on our social medias, our Instagram at Judge John Hodgman, as well as on our show page at MaximumFun.org.

Hey, when you're typing in MaximumFun.org, why don't you go ahead and press the slash dot and the join after that and Go there, become a member. But while you're checking out these cute photos, these two photos of you dressed in, they're children, dressed in identical white dresses. Then you're also dressed as what? Flowers. Flowers. Homemade flower costumes.

She would send you to school in these flower costumes? Yes, every day. Probably. Wait, on non-costume days you went in flower costumes. And she would send you to school in these flower costumes? Yes, every day. Probably. Wait, on non-costume days, you went in flower? OK. No. As a San Franciscan, there's a soft spot in my heart for twins dressing identically. Because in San Francisco, maybe two of the 10 most legendary

citizens of my lifetime were Marion and Vivian Brown, a retired couple or a retired pair of twins who dressed very glamorously and identically every single day, walked the streets of San Francisco and became real folk heroes. Why don't you wanna do that, Jessica and Gail? That sounds like fun. I wanna do that.

Well, that's not a prank though. That's not a prank. No, that's just being cool. Yeah, exactly. Dressing the same is not a prank. And then jump out at people or something. See, that's weird. Pretty rudimentary prank.

Yeah. Although I have to say, one of the other 10 most famous San Francisco citizen folk heroes was just a guy who hid behind a bush and jumped out at tourists. Yeah. He was called Bushman. The Zodiac Killer. Yeah, the Zodiac Killer.

Oh, well now, wait a minute, before you jump in with those funny jokes, let me introduce, we have to have some expert witnesses here because Gail Acheska, I don't understand what you're talking about in your weird twin language. As noted, I am an only child and I dare say I will remain so at this point. Probably.

But, so we thought that we would turn to some expert witnesses who do know what you're talking about. I don't hear what they mumbled as I was- I said God willing. Or whatever you believe in, or whatever you believe in. Willing. All right, well, maybe I should shut up and let Jesse introduce our guests.

Our expert witnesses on this episode of Judge John Hodgman are comedians, writers, television hosts, and two of the co-hosts of the podcast, Dumb People Town, as well as identical twins, Randy and Jason Sklar. Jason and Randy, welcome to the program. Do I salute you? No. Thank you for your service.

Thank you, you're welcome, of course. Thank you very much. I know I'm not even gonna answer a question, but let me just start by saying, I love how thoughtfully these twin sisters have considered their condition of being twins. They seem very thoughtful. How do you mean?

So they're, you know, a lot of twins. Are you not thoughtful? Did you even know that you two were twins? Worse. We are overly thoughtful. Too intensely like focused on how to live in the tiniest nuances of being twins. Not because I think twins tend to do one of two things. They will either become polar opposites to individuate so deeply so that they are no longer.

Not even acknowledging their twinness. Trying to almost eliminate the twin-ness completely. Or they will dress exactly alike and be alike, like the twins that Jesse mentioned earlier in San Francisco, all the way into old age, because they see that as this, like, their only identification is that we are this unit that looks, that the god or whatever you believe in caused us to look exactly alike,

and this is the one trait. Give the people what they want. We're gonna play out for the rest of time. that the God or whatever you believe in caused us to look exactly alike, and this is the one trait. Give the people what they want. We're gonna play out for the rest of time. So I do love that the two of you have thought about your twinness in a way that you understand that you, the most interesting thing about being a twin

is that you grew up at the exact same time with the exact same parameters of your life, and it makes you close that you have these shared experiences. And it seems like you understand that both of you on a deep level. I'm sad you guys were dressed alike all the time as kids. That's a parent mistake.

Let me ask you a question. Did you guys have separate rooms growing up or did you live in the same room? We had the same room most until we were like 12 or 13. So sometimes economics won't allow a family to have two separate rooms for their twins, but we had separate rooms for our entire lives. I think in a weird way.

Well, well, well. Yes, I think in a weird way, it allowed us to have our own time, our own individual time, to be on our own and to sort of just, you know, when you have alone time, then you don't feel like you need to separate and be so separate. You can kind of select and choose

when you wanna spend time together in your free time. Well, what were you guys like as kid identical twins? Did you dress alike? Did you work to differentiate? No, and this is the subject of a two-man show that we are eventually, we'll get to plugs later. Just plug the holiday. Just plug it now.

But when we were six weeks old, ladies, and I include Jesse, you in that category. I'll take it. Thanks, when we were six weeks old. I'll allow it. John, please say I'll allow it. John, six weeks old, our parents, like we can't tell the two of us apart.

Objection, your honor. Wait, wait, hold on. Motion to strike, it's already been said, it's out there. Okay, we can't, we couldn't tell, if I look at pictures of the two of us at six weeks, I can't tell the two of us apart, neither of us can. And our mom certainly couldn't, always dressed us differently,

but then had to, she took us out of the house for the first time at six weeks old and dressed us differently, but then had to, she took us out of the house for the first time at six weeks old and dressed us in the same outfits for the first time because they were the nicest outfits she had because she was taking us out into the world for the first time. The only way she could tell us apart

was the color of diaper pin that we had. Took us to the doctor, the nurse weighed us and measured us, put Pampers on, which at the time Pampers came out with a brand new, revolutionary new diaper with tape on fasteners. They were the Beats by Dre of baby ball movement undergarments. And she switched them up and then handed us back

to our mom with the diaper pins and a baggie. And there was a moment where our mom was like, what did you do? Why would you do that? Who had which diaper pin? And the nurse said, I don't know. And he's like, what do you mean you don't know? You don't know who is who and the nurse said to our mom, you don't know? And he's like, what do you mean you don't know? You don't know who's which is who is who?

And the nurse said to our mom, you don't know? You're the mom, how do you not know? So our mom felt a lot of shame, brought us home, gassed with our dad, and then they just lived with it. And we found out when we were 10. Wow, so for all you know, your whole life has been a twin. A lot. A twin switch.

A prank, a prank of sorts. And we kept trying to find out throughout our lives until we were almost 50 years old, we actually found an artifact that, speaking of Roman artifacts, we found an artifact that allowed us to figure out exactly who we were. And we did the one thing that anyone would do

in that situation that you guys would have done. And that's called This American Life and ask them if they wanted to go on a journey with us to find out if we are who we are. Anybody would do that. And they said, yes. And so we did. And we found out who we with us to find out if we are who we are. Anybody would do that. And they said, yes. And so we did. And we found out who we were only to realize

that we already knew who we were because of the life and the choices that we had made on that time, which again, going back to you guys. Yeah, okay. I understand how this American life works. Right. So you get it. Anecdote reflection, anecdote reflection,

anecdote reflection. It's the journey, not the destination. The real truth is the twins we met along the way. But what I want to know is which one is really Randy and which one is really Jason. We're not telling you, you gotta come see our show. When there were three-step footprints in the sand, that's when Jesus was carrying us both.

Both of us, he had it too. I want to know which one of you is a ghost. Yeah, that's a great question. I've been haunting you in my office. I love it, I love it. So we never dressed. You have to go see the show. Yeah, that's a great question. I've been haunting you in my office. I love it, I love it. You have to go see the show. We never dressed. Yeah, you gotta go to the show.

It's called The Born Identity, B-O-R-N. We took the pun out of it. We undid their pun. Oh, very good. So we always dressed separately and really made a conscious effort to not, even though we looked alike. And even when we were in preschool,

we were in like three years old, four years old, some kid or someone told us we should switch places. We should switch preschool classes. Do the very twin prank that these two that you're talking about. Switch, it'll be so funny. Even then we're like, that's kind of hacky. Like I wouldn't do that. It's been done. It's been done. So Jason didn't want to do it.

So my solution to that was to switch places with a friend of ours. Switch shirts. Switch shirts with a friend of ours, AJ Hiller. So now he's just wearing another kid's shirt. I'm glad you got that one. Great prank. That's the only part of our prank.

But people ask us. Sort of like an anti-humor thing. It's like a twist on the prank. We're already doing alternative comedy. And I just don't think that that's, we couldn't switch on our parents. Like they do, once we grew up, they knew who we were. And I just think that it feels like a lot of work

for something that then puts you in an uncomfortable situation. I just feel like it's kind of hackneyed. We can do better. I like learning from this story about preschool, something that I didn't know, which is Jason is the dignified one and Randy is the thirsty one.

Ready to do anything. Yeah, ready to try anything and do anything. And that explains why Jason wears glasses and Randy has a mustache. That's right. It explains why I look like a Jewish magnum PI. Yes, minachum PI I'll take. So Jason and Randy,

after all of this elementary school differentiation and so on, you eventually decided to meld your professional careers and present yourselves as performers as twins. What was that all about? Yeah. I think that is also part of how we relate to being twins, is that, you know, we felt like different enough people,

but also acknowledging that we are similar different enough people, but also acknowledging that we are similar. And we enjoy being together, we enjoy performing together, we certainly recognize that that is a unique thing within our world. And to bring it back to our two litigants here, Jay, because you're now going off on a diatribe that means absolutely nothing. Weird to attack me, the other expert in this.

I care about the show and the case. Can we object to, I motion to strike Jason from this. I'll allow it counselor, but tread carefully. Thank you. To bring it back to them, there is a symbiosis between the two of us that is the undercurrent of our relationship. Really, I hadn't noticed.

Which is the undercurrent of our relationship. Really, I hadn't noticed. Which is the undercurrent of our relationship that I think is a more subtle way to thread the needle of presenting twins on stage. And so I will add to that. I think some comedians, you know, there's a debate right now in comedy, and we are comedians. It's like, I want to say the most offensive thing,

and that's one school of thought. The other is, can I say sort of like a... Yeah, and that's one school of thought. The other is, can I say sort of like- That's a real school of thought. A university of thought. Thought went into that one. It is the school of thought. It's more of a detention center of thought. It's, yeah, it's a trade school.

All right, so it's, you, there's that option, or there is, can I subtly slip something in without people knowing? Can I be subversive? And it was always more fun. The type of humor we always were connected to was a more subversive type of humor. So, you know, when we're on stage,

we don't talk about necessarily being twins, but you feel the connection between us on stage. And it's part of what we do. I feel this connection between the two litigants who are an entire country apart from each other. There is like love and this connection between the two of you. You guys both look back on your childhood fondly, minus the flower costumes. I just feel like you,

there's something special about you two. I like the way you view your twinship. And it's interesting. And I think the idea to have the fun, to want to have fun with it is, I appreciate that. I don't know if pranks are the way to go about doing it. I don't know if that's gonna the way to go about doing it. I don't know if that's gonna fulfill you.

You're standing here on the other side of the prank wall. You get on the other side and you're just like, I'm just here now. All right, we did it. Like, I don't know that it's gonna give you that celebratory. I think you're already there. Well, to the point of the pranks, Jason and Randy, from a very early age, you were doing,

you recognize that a classic twin switch would be hack. You undermined it by doing a switch with a non-twin. And you've rejected the prank primarily, the prank concept primarily because it seems a little on the nose. The comedy value wasn't there. It wasn't there for us, which is everything. This is a great opportunity, Gaila, for you to pitch your twin prank to two identical twin professional comedians.

Okay. And get their feedback. I mean- Are you ready to do so? I'm ready. And Cheska, have you heard this idea already or no? I don't think so. She's been keeping it secret.

So this is a worldwide debut. I don't think this is a good prank. Great way to start. Great start. This is how they started every Mad Men pitch. Yeah, absolutely. It's a terrible idea for Eastern Airlines, but go. Not your honor, members of the jury. Yeah, this is the wrong version of it, but.

Don't listen to this right now, but. Yeah. But, but I think any prank that was better, Cheska would absolutely refuse and say that I'm mean. So here is a very mild prank that I cannot imagine would hurt anyone. Okay, so Cheska and I go to a shop, like a clothing store, like a boutique or something.

We, also I did steal this from Reddit because I couldn't think of any good pranks. That's fine. Sorry. So, okay, so we go. You asked them for ideas and they suggested this when it caught your fancy. And nobody's ever mean on Reddit, ever. That's fine. Sorry. So, okay, so we go- You asked them for ideas and they suggested this when it caught your fancy.

And nobody's ever mean on Reddit, ever. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, I'm kidding. Very supportive. When we go to a clothing store, we both pick up the same outfit. One of us goes into a fitting room and puts the clothes on. Another says to the person who works there,

or just a random person in the store, hey, I am picking out an outfit for like an event or something, and I really need someone's opinion. Could you just like come and look and tell me how the outfit looks? Okay? Walk over to the fitting room, go into the fitting room where the other twin is hiding. Okay. And then immediately, instantly, the other twin comes hiding. Okay. And then immediately, instantly, the other twin comes out in the outfit.

Quick change. And the person's like, quick change. Quick change, a classic quick change. A classic twin. How did that even happen? Yeah. Can I offer a punch up to this? Because I think there's an even simpler version of this,

which is you go into the store separately so that people don't notice that you're there together. That's important, obviously. You both grab the same outfit. One of you goes into the changing room to change. The one who has not changed and is holding the outfit goes to the person at the store and says, I need to decide whether this is a good outfit for my wedding or whatever it is.

Sure. And you walk to the fitting room and then just the other one comes out and you say, what do you think? Yeah. Oh, need a quick change or, or, or I might offer just, I mean, I know I'm not read it Gala, but maybe, uh, same deal. Uh, but instead of walking into the, uh, changing room that your sister is already in, you walk into a changing room

at one end of the changing area, and she immediately walks out of the other end. It's a transported man. It's called the prestige. Right. Yeah, let's just do the prestige. See, so like this, I don't see how this could hurt anyone. It would be slightly confusing.

Before we get the Sklar's reaction, Cheska, how does this make you feel? I don't wanna do that, to be honest. I just don't think, I don't think the payoff is there of like, then someone is like, oh, there are two of you? And then we leave. Cheska Gala, we know and we've as well established at this point that you're identical twins,

you're sisters, you're both adorable, your relationship is terrific. But there are, must be some things that differentiate you. So let me ask you this question. Chesca, has it always been the case that you're the no-fun one? CHESCA LAUGHS I actually, at least in high school,

was into doing pranks. And I think I pulled off... So why does she deny me now? Like, I don't have anything against pranks. And yeah, like I pulled off what I think was a good prank in high school. And though I'm the serious academic twin, so I guess I am more serious, I like fun. Gail, would you agree that you're the more fun one then? Yeah, I'm the fun twin Look, I know the scars probably have an opinion upon this a changing room prank

And we also know that Cheska Did a prank at least one prank in elementary school that she feels pretty good about I would love to hear more about them But maybe this is a great time to hear more about good about. I would love to hear more about them, but maybe this is a great time to hear more about the Max Fun Drive. It's week two of the Max Fun Drive, John. I'm having a great time Max Fun even. Yeah, I'm also maximizing my fun, getting a chance to visit with all of our fellow podcast hosts on the Maximum Fun Network, as well as so many of our listeners every morning on the Joy of Zoning over there of the Judge John Hodgman YouTube channel. We're having a great time.

I wanna say, if you're new to the show, or if you usually space out whenever I'm talking, I wanna emphasize that Judge John Hodgman, when we say that Judge John Hodgman and all of the Maximum Fund shows are audience supported, we actually mean that you are the fuel that powers this jet rocket to the stars. We genuinely could not do the show without audience support.

And audience support is so meaningful to us because it means that we can make the show the way we want to make it. It means we get to make the show the way we want to make it. It means we get to make the show the way we want to make it for you. And one of the great delights about doing this show is that if it delights you, you get to take part and ownership of it by being a member. And membership starts at just $5 a month at maximumfund.org slash join.

You know, we converted Maximum Fund to a co-op recently. I went from being the sole owner of the company to being one of almost two dozen worker owners. The reason that we did that was I did not want this company to descend into the morass of corporate media. Right. Podcasting is a weird wasteland with shows disappearing from the internet and getting cancelled and getting changed and everyone trying to be as much like Joe Rogan as they

possibly can. I did not want any of that, which is why I wanted to keep MaxFun independent and stable. And the stability comes from people being members of Maximum Fun, people going to MaximumFun.org slash join and signing up to support us directly. I just want to clarify, I am taking a huge amount of supplements, but that's not because I want to be like Joe Rogan. It's just because I intend to live forever. Yeah, I understand. You want to be like Joe Rogan. It's just because I intend to live forever. Yeah, I understand.

You want to be more like Nick Nolte, right? Yeah, that's right. Maximum Fun started before what you might call the podcast boom. And Maximum Fun has been able to survive what we all call the podcast bust. Because we have kept our shows in-house, creator-owned, audience-supported, and now the entire network is employee-owned. That is all down to the MaxFun drive.

It is all down to you, the membership. And in fact, to give you a sense of what it means to work for MaxFun, not always on the mic, although we're always happy when she is on the mic, we have Jennifer Marmer here right now to tell you a little bit about it. Hi. So yeah, everything that John is saying is absolutely true. You know, I've been at Maximum Fund since 2013. I've been producing Judge John Hodgman since 2016. And it's been a strange time in the world since, you know, starting to produce this show. I've seen a lot of ups and downs, periods of dread, periods of hope.

And one thing that's remained in all of that is that I have always felt like my job is stable. You know, I'm in a place where people are supportive and want to see each other succeed, that we have fun working together. And especially lately, things have been dark. Jesse alluded to podcasts going away, and it's been a weird time. It remains a weird time for the podcast industry, but I've always felt safe in my job here at Maximum Fund

and on Judge John Hodgman because of member support, because we're not beholden to advertisers pulling when they feel like they need to rein it in. Our members have been so reliable in their support for our network and for our shows and for the people who work here that in a time when our industry is really unstable, I have felt safe and like my job is not going anywhere.

I can say that I feel comfort about the world in doing this program, especially since we went on the road this past year and visited all these, you know, theaters full of Judge John Hodgman listeners and connected with them about the insecurities that surround us and connected with them about the message of Judge John Hodgman, which is that conflict between decent people who care about each other is resolvable, that there is justice and goodness in the world and there should be. And also that we can laugh and have a good time, you know, no matter what's going on outside the window. And all of that feeling is sustained by the fact that this is a membership organization, you know. This isn't us

selling supplements. This is us making something that really means something to people and people saying this really means something to me and then saying, you know, I got five bucks a month for that. So if you're one of those people, I would encourage you to take a second, go to maximumfund.org slash join,

become a member of Maximum Fund and make sure that the future of this show is just as bright as it can be. Even as the world gets a little dark, we hope that you can help us keep the lights on. It's MaximumFun.org slash join. Yeah, I just want to echo that as an only child who is not involved in any sports then or now, it took me a long time to appreciate that even the lowest level of conflict is not fatal. Doing Judge John Hodgman with Jesse and Jennifer and of course all the listeners and litigants and you the members has really been a real experience of growth for me to understand

how to mediate even the smallest disputes, because even the smallest disputes have deep emotional undercurrents. And in particular, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, like when things outside our studio and in the world are causing us pain, upset, and fear, it, we get feedback saying, I'm so glad that we have judge John Hodgman to listen to while I'm driving late at night, while I'm working my overnight shift, uh, while I'm doing the dishes, whatever it is you're doing. It's like, I feel the same way. I'm so, so, I feel so lucky and happy to be able to not only talk to my friends,

Jesse and Jennifer, but all the wonderful litigants who come through and to be able to not only talk to my friends, Jesse and Jennifer, but all the wonderful litigants who come through and to be kept company by you, the listeners who write to me every week at maximumfund.org slash JJ HO. I read those letters, those submissions, those disputes you send in, everything goes through me. And I, I'm so happy to open up my email box and remember that I'm part of a community. And I'm part of a community that really believes in what we're doing and it's a community that we get to serve directly without being over considerate of what some corporation wants

or what this advertiser wants or whatever. We're making it for you and that's because you're supporting us at maximumfund.org slash join. If you are someone who has not joined yet, please do so today. I mean, honestly, if you have the means, go to maximumfund.org slash join. If it's easier for you, you can join for the whole year in advance. You know, at the $5 a month level, you click a button, 60 bucks, you're done for the year. You can do it however you want to do it. You can do it at whatever level you want to do it.

But if you are new to the show, this is the time that we ask for you to support the show if you have the means at maximumfund.org slash join. That's maximumfund.org slash join. We'll see you there. Let's return to the case, John. Jason Randi, you've heard Gaila's pitch to Cheska. You've heard that Cheska isn't into it. What's your opinion of the dressing room switcheroo?

First of all, I loved your tweaks on it, both of you guys. The far end dressing rooms. I think it'd be funny for they've one came in. There's one way of doing it that might not have you both in the store. You come in, one comes in, this is my tweak on it, can I try this on? You know what you're gonna try on.

You come out and you're like, I don't love it. I really don't love it and not my style, but thank you so much. You put it back, put it closer, you leave. The other one comes in, tries it on, I love it. I'm getting it. I love it. I'm getting it. I love it. This is so me.

This is so me. If anything was ever made for me, this would be this. This is the most me I've ever seen. I have to say that I have written jokes with the Sklar brothers before on a television pilot, which did not go. And I have never met more compulsive puncher uppers.

We're taggers. We have a show called Tag It. We do a show called Tag It. We do a show called Tag It. Tag our friends jokes. Yeah, where we sit and try and come up with tags. So I think that's really funny. And then at the end, the two of you can come back in the store together.

You come in with two coffee cups and it's like, I love that for you. I love that for you. And then you give the store clerk a cup of coffee that you bought for them and you say, thank you for participating in a lifelong dream of mine. So that's not my pitch. That was like, I think it is doable.

And Cheska- Randy, I'm gonna agree with you on this one. Not that one, but- Yeah, I think that's a good pitch on the- I'm trying to make her- On the thing better. Prank. And I think it's, Cheska, I think it's not good pitch on the prank.

And I think it's, Cheska, I think it's not gonna be as bad for you because I don't think it tricks people in a way that makes them feel really bad. And we have a very, very high radar on that. So, cause you don't wanna make people feel bad. I have an idea that is making people that you love feel bad in a way that is fun and funny

the way you would roast your friends. So my pitch to you is that you have a birthday celebration that you both are at, but it's only a celebration for one of you. And anytime anybody tries to say happy birthday to the other one, you vehemently say, absolutely not. There is no, I will not. This is Cheska's birthday.

This is Cheska's birthday, and we are celebrating her birthday, and we are celebrating, yeah, but it's your birthday too. And so you get a cake just for you, and the other person is there. It's just the cake says, happy birthday, only Cheska. Only Cheska. Only Cheska.

And people are like, what is the problem? What is wrong? And then you pull up a fake 23andMe thing that you did, a DNA test. Here we go. I actually was born a year earlier and they kept it a secret to a completely other family. Yeah.

We're not actually siblings. We're not even siblings. I was born on a different day, so for the entirety of our lives, you all have been celebrating me on a different... So really, our whole lives have been a prank. Right, our entire and... And this is the first real moment we've ever had with you people. This is it. And we call it like...

This is so much better! 23... 23 and you. I want you guys to do this so badly. This would be so, Jessica, you have to be feeling this. Yeah, this is way better. Yes. So then at the end, so then if you want to keep it going, you say, guys, we're completely joking.

And you bring out a cake that says happy birthday to only your sister. And you bring out documents cake that says, happy birthday to only your sister. And you bring out documents and say, I didn't. She, she, it's actually her birthday. We pranked you again and you keep going. So the reason why I like what Randy just said is, and I think the reason why Cheska's probably feeling a little bit of resistance to the classic twin,

is because those are hacky. Everyone's, people have done that before. They're not funny. They're not original. What Randy is bitching is like an absurd, much larger academic. You can go deep into some weird stuff. And I think that's so much funnier and more rewarding.

I mean, let's get some reactions from our other set of twins. Kayla, Jessica, what do you think about that? I like it. I like it, but I still, to me you think about that? I like it. Yeah. I like it, but I still, I, to me, I'm not sure if it scratches the itch, the switch itch. Oh, the switch itch.

Yeah, I knew she was gonna not, she was not gonna. Like, I want to do that too. Let's do that as well. Right, I'm trying to give you something there, but you can't spell switch without itch. Let me just say that right now. Yeah, that's true. So there's no I in switch.

Well, there is an I in switch. There's no. Yeah. So there's no I in Switch. Well, there is an I in Switch. There's no we in Switch. There's no we in Switch. Cheska, did you have a reaction to the birthday party scheme? Yeah, that sounds okay. I mean, that sounds good to me. Like, I would rather do that. But yeah, I don't think that Gayla would find that fulfilling to her, like, dream of what this would be. But that would be really fun for me, I think.

How often do you two even see one another or in the same place? I mean, switcheroo or no? Like, to get together? Is it common? We see each other pretty often. I would say like four or five times a year. I'm going on Friday to go hang out with her for two weeks. So this is the chance to do some switcheroos. Bitch.

Yeah, I mean that's what I'm saying. Switch itch. Cheska, what was the prank that you pulled off? You're a reformed prankist, so tell me about one that worked. Yeah, so I actually think I did a few pranks in high school, off, you're a reformed prankist. So tell me about one that worked. Yeah. So I actually think I did a few pranks in high school, but this is the one, this is the best one that I pulled off.

So I had, it was me and a friend. It wasn't just me by myself, but Gayla was not involved. Um, but at, in high school, there was a cafeteria that had like the usual drink machines that, you know, you would use it had a button to press for the drinks. Me and my friend printed out these official-looking signs that said that all the drink machines were now voice-operated. Oh, I love this. Wait, phenomenal.

Yeah, phenomenal. Yeah, and we hung them up and then we waited around the lunchtime, and we were plants. We were like sticking around, and people would start, we're yelling like, ice tea. And every time someone was like, it wasn't working, we'd be like, oh no, it does work. Just like say it a little louder. Like actually it worked for me before.

This is Phil Hendry 101. And I know what Jesse Thorne was thinking. You yelled ice tea and then rapper ice tea came out. What do y'all want? You're in a graduate program now. You're not in elementary school anymore. Is that why you've given up on pranks? I mean, look, this is what I don't understand, Cheska.

You have a history of pranks. You've pulled off at least one that we all agree is funny. And among us are two identical twin professional comedians. They know. Your sister wants to do a prank, you're saying no. When did, have you soured on pranks? Why not? I think it's really just that these are like twin based pranks and I think that kind of

prank is just like childish and and hard to pull off. And if you do, the payoff doesn't seem like enough to do the prank. So you're saying you're not averse to doing a prank, even with your sister right now, but twin-based seems hacky, and until it's comedically proven to you, you're not gonna do it.

Yes, exactly. Yes, we were saying, let's bump it up to something where Cheska feels good about it, but it still has to hit the itching threshold that Gayla wants. Gayla, would it be enough for the two of you just to periodically each bring out a stick of double mint gum and chew it at the same time? If we did it enough, sure, yeah.

If we had to chew it exactly, like we could just walk around town chewing gum in exact unison. Well, Randy and Jason, thank you so much for your expert input on this issue. You guys have a bunch of road dates coming up. As somebody who's seen you two perform standup comedy many times, I can't recommend it enough.

Where are you headed out on the road? Beginning of April will be in Denver at Comedy Works, the Landmark South Club, which is a beautiful theater-like club, April 3rd through the 5th. Then we, on the 15th, are doing the lovely and refurbished Rialto Theater in Raleigh, North Carolina. That's just in Cancer Benefit.

That's a gorgeous place. Beautiful. Will we play there? Nice, then the next night we'll be in New Orleans at Sports Drink, which is a beautiful, small little club, and then that weekend we'll be at the Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas. Superscalars.com for all the days,

because we do do that Tagged show that we do where our friends do their sets of comedy, and we're on stage writing pitches of jokes that we then pitch to them on. Next one's on the 23rd, April 23rd at the Comedy Store. So all that stuff there. And we are working up this two man show, The Bourne Identity, which was really fun to do

in hopes that we do a run of it maybe out here in LA and then take it to New York and hopefully take it to Broadway. So be on the lookout for all that stuff and what a treat and a joy. And we hope to have you on. You both seem like lovely people. Good luck with your twinness.

And I hope you guys get to figure out something that feels right for both of you. A healthy balance in the middle, but continue your great and healthy relationship with each other because it's just, it was a pleasure to get to know you. And continue great work, John Hodgman. We are such fans of yours.

Oh gosh. We love you, buddy. We're just big fans. Randy, Jason, Sklar, I've been such a fan forever, and it's always great to see you. Thank you so much for being here and sharing your insight. Whichever one is the, Randy, whichever one is Jason, I like you the best.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. At this point, who cares? No matter where you live, of course, you can enjoy Randy and Jason on the Dumb People Town Podcast where they talk about the world's most hapless criminals and miscreants. Yes, Dumb Stories. Criminal Mischief is our middle name.

Randy, Jason, thanks for joining us. Thank you. Yeah, appearing soon on the Dumb People Down podcast, two twins that got arrested pretending to be each other in a store. So, Kayla, I've just learned some very interesting information. You've been a twin your whole life. But not only that, that's not the information I learned that I that I surmised. But the the switch itch it says here is really only taken hold of your imagination relatively recently. Is that true?

That is true. How come? That is true. Well, I think when you're growing up as a twin, you're always lumped in together with your twin and people mix you up and it doesn't feel good. So you try to be different and you push back against being identical. And then you grow up and your sister moves across the country and you miss her and you want to just enjoy being a twin.

Like people, you know, people don't even always realize that we're twins now. When did you move, Cheska? When did you move across the country? And abandon your sister? Yeah. Yeah. I moved very selfishly about six years ago to do my PhD. And again, it's in Roman archaeology. Yes. Who were the founders of Rome? Well, one could argue Romulus and Remus.

Who were twins. Twins. So not only did you abandon your twin, but you abandoned her for another pair of twins. Basically, yeah. Wow. And so what was the inciting incident, as they say in screenwriting Gala, they're like, I know how to reconnect with my sister, the prestige style. Well, I think it was after the pandemic was sort of being less awful. We got vaccinated and the first thing that my partner and I did after we got vaccinated and the time had elapsed, whatever,

we went and visited Cheska in San Francisco, and we had never visited her before because she started school during the pandemic. We couldn't see her. We were apart for a long time. And, you know, I think at that point, we're all so jonesing for fun. And so, okay, I wouldn't suggest this now,

now that she's a six-year PhD, very professional person. But at the time, she had to return a book to her professor or pick up a book from her professor who studies ancient comedy, which is all twins. I was like, you know what she would love these ancient comedy, which is like all twins. And I was like, you know what she would love

if we, when we drop off the book, let's all hand her the book. And then you jump out and we're like, whoa, we're twins. And Jessica refused. You didn't want to trick your professor in your professional graduate program? Shockingly, I didn't want to, yeah, trick your professor in your professional graduate program? Shockingly, I didn't want to, yeah, trick my professor who I hadn't seen in person in like two years.

The trick would have worked so well. The first time I see her, I'm like, surprise, there are two of us. And yeah, no. I'm on rate your professor right now. And that professor has a lot of negative reviews for not liking twin pranks, so. So, it probably was wise.

You know, Cheska, we've made some fun about the idea of you being the no fun one, but in truth, like, how are you two different? How would you describe your sister's unique qualities? Yeah, I'd definitely say that Gayla is the more social one, the more extroverted one. She's... Not only that, she's extroverted, if it sounds like it.

Yeah, exactly. So she tends to be the one who wants to, yeah, do these. It's not that she wants to do things that I don't want to do if they're fun, but she, yeah, goes out she wants to do things that I don't want to do if they're fun, but she, yeah, goes out and wants to meet a lot of people and yeah, like talk to strangers and stuff like that. And I'm a little bit more introverted.

She wants to deceive your professional colleagues. Exactly, she wants to deceive my professional colleagues. Exactly, exactly. I mean, I think she loves the idea that she could trick someone who knows just me. Because if they don't know that we're twins, then that's like a bonus prank. Gaila, we know that Cheska is not no fun. We also know that she's done some pranks in the past. What are the special qualities that are unique to your sister?

Yeah, she's definitely the more introverted twin. She I think can be embarrassed more easily, a little bit more shy, you know, doesn't rock the boat. But she's also, you know, obviously she's the smart twin. She's getting her PhD. Maybe she's more thoughtful than me. me, maybe that's part of it. But yeah, she's definitely more likely not to always put herself out there, I think. That's what I would like her to do with this twin prank.

Cheska, your sister said that she really started thinking about this. Once she had the opportunity to go and see you for the first time after a number of years of obvious travel restrictions and lockdowns, that she felt sad that her twin had moved across the country. She felt less like a twin. It also sounds like she would like you to get thrown out of your program. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, they moved back at that point. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, move back at that point.

Yeah, exactly. How does that make you feel? Yeah, I mean, obviously I'm sad that she feels that way. I know that she would like me to be closer to her. But I think there are so many other ways that we can do twin things that aren't pranks. Even though the Sklar brothers are down on dressing alike, we could dress alike if that's like for a day something she wants to do to feel more like a twin. How does that sound as a compromise to you, Kayla?

That's not enough. Whoa, okay, look. I want the world, I want the whole world. I think it's also important to know that Cheska's the older sister and I'm the baby of six kids. So I am a brat. You are brat?

I am brat. Wait, Cheska is older than you by how much? 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Yeah. Well, you can learn a lot in 20 minutes. Yeah. But the two of you are the youngest of six total siblings.

Who are your siblings? Are any of them twins? No, no other twins. Oh, what if you were identical six tuplets and the other one's just the one I'm going to do with you? That'd be amazing. Now we have two older sisters and two older brothers and they're actually all quite a bit older than us. Like the closest one to us is seven years older and the

farthest one is like 20 years older than us. Oh okay so that's quite an age difference. So really it was just the two of you growing up for most of your shared formative years, it sounds like. Yeah. Cheska, you heard the Sklar brothers pitches and punch ups for Gayla's pitches. All of them are unacceptable to you. There's nothing in there. I like the birthday idea. I think that's kind of fun.

I would be willing to maybe do the birthday thing, but I don't think that Gayla thinks that that doesn't fulfill her desire. You don't think that the birthday prank is enough? I think I like the birthday prank. Because it doesn't involve deceiving people into thinking that you're each other. It's the switch.

It's like, I think it could work. It could work if it was a birthday party. We invite people to our birthday party and we insist like, people are like, oh, happy birthday, Gayle. And I'm like, no, it's Cheska. And like, we just gaslight everyone at the party the entire night and try and say,

they're like, no, I know that it's Gayle. And I'm like, I know it's Cheska. What are you talking about? Cheska, I take it that that idea's Kayla. And I'm like, I know it's Jessica. What are you talking about? Jessica, I take it that that idea does not bring you any delight whatsoever. No, I do not like that idea. You don't want to spend your birthday

lying to people's faces? No, I don't want to. Yeah, no, exactly. I don't want to trick people. And then the whole time I have to pretend to be her on my birthday. How would you do it? Do an imitation of Kayla.

I was like, oh yeah. You know, if you very like more. But the record show that your posture immediately improved, your hands went up. Obviously, Jessica doesn't want to do a prank with you and at least not a switching prank. Have you considered just pulling a prank on her? Oh, I actually hadn't considered that, but now that's a good point. Like what if you replaced her mirror with a window?

And then you did something super twisted. Jessica, you would like, if I were to rule in your favor, you would like me obviously to rule no twin pranks, no switch itch scratched, Kayla. But, Kayla also has to stop being disappointed when you refuse to do them. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to be guilted for not wanting to do the twin pranks. I'd be like, I'm so sad.

We have to do a twin prank because you live in California. Kayla, if I were to rule in your favor, it says here you'd like me to rule that Cheska do some pranks and help you think of them. Not even that she does the prank, but she actually does the, does the mental work to come up with the pranks. I want to help like formulating just like the, the Sklar brothers. Like I want help punching them up and stuff. I don't want to just be the only one coming up with these fun pranks. Pete But the prank must involve a switch.

Lauren I mean, something that really utilizes the fact that we're twins. Pete What would it mean? What would it mean to you to finally do it? How do you think you would feel? What would it feel like? Lauren I think it would be like a healing of the inner child, you know? We missed out on this fun kid activity. And now, I don't know, I think it would be fun. I think it would be a good story to tell. And I think it would be something, you know, that I did with my sister.

And when people ask us, did you ever do a twin prank? We'll finally be able to say, yeah. How often does that come up though? More often than you would think. Okay. Like when people find out you're a twin, that's one of the first questions they ask. Yeah.

Have you ever switched? Have you ever pranked someone? Cheska, do people ask you as well or do they just sense when we're serious and therefore? No, they ask, they said, have you ever switched? That's a honest, like, typical question. Cheska, before I retire to my chambers and consider my verdict, is there, do you think that there is any version of the itch switch that would be comedically and artistically

sound enough that you would ever agree to doing it. It's really hard for me to imagine, especially after hearing professional comedians coming up with a version of it, and I still don't think it's good enough. Like, I still just think that that's not really a good joke. Right. Jesse, are the squars still there? The squars have left.

Oh. Maybe we could send them an email or something saying that Jessica doesn't find them be funny. No, I love the birthday party. Sorry, okay. Oh, the birthday party. We sent them an email that said they're not funny as that you said that you're not they're not funny.

Yeah. Okay, fine. Sorry, you can't unsend emails. No, we're Hey, guess what, Jessica, we're just joking you. You're right. Jokes are cruel. I've heard everything I need to in order to form my verdict. I'll be back in a moment with my decision.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Gayla, how are you feeling about your chances right now? Um, I thought I would be feeling better. I'm, I still think it's going to go my way, but I'm worried I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna get to itch the switch itch. Cheska, how about you? I'm actually feeling pretty good. I was afraid that like just the novelty

of the twin prank would win everyone over, but it actually sounds like everyone acknowledges that the switching at least is not that funny. It would seem like the fundamental bias of this court would be towards comedy, but fortunately or unfortunately, that's not the case. Yeah, exactly. Well, we'll see what Judge Hodgman has to say about all this.

But first, John, before we get to your verdict, let's check in about the Max Fund Drive. John, I don't want to let this second episode of the Max Fund Drive pass without us highlighting some of the really cool stuff that you can get when you become a member of Maximum Fund by going to MaximumFun.org slash join. Cool stuff, cool stuff, cool stuff.

No matter what level you join at, you get access to our monthly Membo Mailbag episodes, tons of cool bonus audio episodes plus two new video episodes. A full video that we filmed live at Dynasty Typewriter here in Los Angeles, and our giant spring break spectacular with Ben Harrison of Greatest Track, where I got buzzed and John showed his feet. Yeah, you drank a little bit of alcohol and I showed a lot of bit of my feet. That was such a fun afternoon filming that spring break party.

The audio is available to members now, the video is available to members now. The video is available to members now as well as that live show at Dynasty Typewriter. I also just want to say, let's not let the member mailbag go by. For those of you who are listening back during lockdowns when we couldn't get any litigants in, you remember we had some really rollicking dockets. Just fun off-the-cuff conversations between me and Jennifer and Jesse. I'm thrilled that we're back at our core mission of resolving disputes between real people. But in that member mailbag that we do every

month, that rollicking docket spirit is right back at it. Members get to send in letters to us on any topic, they could have a dispute, they could have a dispute with us, they could have a question, they could have a comment. It's just a wonderful way to be in conversation with the members and if you're not a member, you're missing out on something that's really a lot of fun. And it all comes with that $5 a month membership

that's to the basic entry point and it's what we're so grateful for when you support us at maximumfund.org slash join. That said, there is cool stuff. If you are able to support us at a $10 a month level, you will get all of that bonus content plus you will get a letterpress Max Fund membership card. And you get to pick one of our wonderful enamel pins. What it tells about the pins, Jesse.

wonderful enamel pins. Well, tell us about the pins, Jesse. Our pin this year says, like what you like. One of the most repeated to us bits of Judge John Hodgman wisdom. There is a special pin for every single podcast in the Maximum Fund Network. You can pick any pin you like.

And guess what? If you're having a hard time choosing between pins, at the end of the drive, we'll have a charity sale only for $10 and up members where you can buy as many of the pins as you want. And if you kick it up to $20 a month, you get your choice of thank you gifts. All these cumulative, by the way. So you still get the pin. It all fumes.

You still get, yeah. You get your choice between our very tasteful, Max Fun Bucket Hat that features the Maximum Fun Rocket on a navy blue bucket hat. Extremely tasteful, ready for spring break. Or our profoundly, almost unspeakably distasteful, Maximum Fun Beach Towel that is the greatest single piece of swag or merchandise this company has ever created.

It is absolutely 100% Lisa Frank in Cabo on Mescaline going bananas. You have to see it. Go to maximumfund.org slash join cause you have to see this thing. I can't even begin to describe how nuts it is. Do you wanna see our mascot squirrel, Nutzi, riding a unicorn up a rainbow

with all kinds of other wild stuff happening? Or do you just wanna lie on it on the beach because it's a comfy beach towel? You can get it all at the $20 a month level at the maximumfund.org slash join website that we're talking about so much. And if you're able to go up one more notch to the $35 a month level, you get that beach towel and what can go with it?

The coolest cooler bag of all time. That's our Max Fun Spring Break cooler bag. It's perfect to take to the beach with you while you lie down on that unicorn. You can drink up to eight beverages of your choice. Oh, so cold. And plus you get all the stuff we've already mentioned. But really it's not about what level you choose. It's that you choose to join us

and support a show that you love. So I hope we'll see you at maximumfund.org slash join. It's springtime and you know what they say, hope springs eternal in the human breast, right John? I am hopeful about the future of our program of podcasting and I'm hopeful about our audience stepping up to support us because I know where they're at, right? Like John, I put up a $25,000 charity fundraiser

three months ago, and we raised 300 grand. Yeah. For Al Otrelato, the Migrants Rights Organization. That's right. We're at 294,772 as of this recording. Like, I can't even believe that. So I know that our audience is standing behind us and fighting to make the world a better place. If you love this podcast and you think that the show makes the world a better place, I hope that you will go to maximumfun.org slash join.

That's right, Jesse. I love this community so much. There are very few people that I would show my bare feet to, but I bare my feet and my heart to you now, in all honesty. The show is free for anyone who can listen to it. 50 weeks out of the year, we don't talk about this. But two weeks out of the year, Max Fun Drive, we come to remind you of the fact that the show is free and available to all of you because of the support of our members. If you're a member, thank you very, very much.

I hope you enjoyed seeing my toes. If you're a member and you are thinking about possibly upgrading or boosting, that would be so amazing. If you're not yet a member, now's the time to do it. MaximumFun.org slash join is the place to support the show. You know, I've said it every MaxFun Drive and I just need to say it again. If you love something and you have the means to support it

and you wanna support it, the best way to support that piece of art or creativity is in the way that the creator asks you to do it. This is me asking you to do it right now. MaximumFun.org slash join is the place to go open a tab go there now take a look at that beach towel If you're already a member you've already seen my bare feet splayed on that beach towel in the spring break Beach party house special maybe you want to upgrade or boost if you're not a member you'll see all this great stuff that we're talking about.

Maybe you'll think and remind yourself. The John Hodgman said, we need your help. Maximumfund.org slash join, go there now, please. Starts at five bucks a month. That is, and I just busted out my calculator app, John. Yeah. 16.1 cents a day.

Yeah. Right now, I want you to manifest with me. Imagine yourself each morning as you walk to school or work or the bus or head out to your car or sit down on a sofa finding a quarter. It's there in the tall grass. It's stuffed between two cushions, whatever. You pull that quarter out, you say to yourself,

I'm gonna give 16.1 cents of this to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Yeah. And I'm coming out almost nine cents ahead. Look, I don't do subtraction, you know that. So whatever 25 cents minus 16.1 cents is the balance of that quarter, you can use whatever you want. But if you've got that 16.1 cent per day coming to us as a maximum fund member, we could not be more grateful. And I hope that you understand that it makes you part of a community. It not only brings you the

podcast that you like to hear, but also gives you the good feeling that you're supporting an employee-owned cooperative, which is the network, of podcasts that are all owned by their creators. There's no other podcast network that offers that. MaximumFun.org slash join is the website. If you're not a member yet, please go there right now. If you are a member and you're able to upgrade or boost or you want to gift a membership to someone who can't afford it right now, please go there right now.

If you're just not sure and you're thinking about it, open a tab and please go to MaximumFun.org slash join right now. All rise as Judge John Hodgeman re-enters the courtroom and presents his verdict. So a long time ago I was flying across the country in an airplane and it was a dark and stormy night. Literally it was scary. We were heading a lot of turbulence. There was lightning that I could see through the window.

Not real close, but close enough that it made me nervous. It felt like the beginning of a Twilight Zone episode. And then it very quickly became one because I decided to watch my seatback television and there was a history channel special on ancient Rome, if you can believe it, Achesca. It was specifically about the construction of the Colosseum. And there was a parade of historians and archaeologists who were coming on to the program to lend their expertise. And then there was Robocop. All of a sudden, I'm looking at the actor Peter Weller, who played RoboCop in Buckaroo Banzai,

talking about the Coliseum. There was no identifying, they didn't say Peter Weller. They said nothing, it was just him. It was like, I was supposed to understand why Peter Weller was talking about ancient Rome. And I started to get confused. I thought that maybe I had, I had, was having a stroke, uh, or maybe we had gone through a rift in, in like,

in the Langoliers, maybe the plane had flown through a rift in time and space and I had entered an altered dimension where Peter Weller didn't just play buckaroo Banzai, a surgeon, a rock star and an adventurer. But Peter Weller actually was all of buckaroo bonsai, a surgeon, a rock star, and an adventurer, but Peter Weller actually was all of those things. Because I already knew that Peter Weller was a jazz trumpeter on top of being an actor, and now he's an expert on Roman history. Well then, after a while, they finally acknowledged that Peter Weller had gone to, I think, Ithaca College and taken a degree in ancient Roman history, and that was an extra thing that he was doing. I was not in an alternate dimension.

I was in this one. But for a period of time, I felt very destabilized. I felt very confused. I felt I dare say that someone was playing a prank on me. The universe, the multiverse, Peter Weller. I don't know. I don't like pranks, Gala. Don't like them. I mean, they're funny. I've seen TV shows

in hotel rooms just like everyone else, featuring certain not so very practical jokers. It's funny. I get it. It's funny. Literally everyone else. It's the only popular thing in the entire world of entertainment right now. Yeah. And especially a hundred percent in hotel rooms. One time I went into a hotel room and they didn't have that channel and I was like, what's going on? This is a prank because pranks make people feel destabilized, disoriented,

confused, and the truth is it is funny, but it's funniest when you are an adolescent and you don't really believe in the humanity of other people. Adolescents do horrible things to each other because of that misperception, and the prank is probably most of the time the most harmless version of it, especially if you find a prank, the rare prank where the person who's being pranked can actually laugh at themselves. But it is rare. As you pointed out, Jessica, the cafeteria workers didn't need to hear that yelling. It goes against a lot of the precepts of the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

If it's not fun for everyone, it's no fun at all. Be mindful of the work you leave for others. Pranks violate these things. And it really goes down to the very, one of the most important weird dad cases. Don't say I'll have the Kung Pao chicken to someone who's operating a toll booth. It's kind of a prank.

Particularly people, pranks are so often done on people who are in service work because they're available to you to torture apparently and there is a power dynamic that allows you to play with their minds and they kind of have to grin and bear it rather than what most people would do which is like walk away and I don't have time for this I think that the prank that you suggested is pretty low key in the traditional pre-Gen Z version of low key. Like, it's not that big a deal. I think that the person working at the clothing store gala would be a little confused. Maybe it would be even delighted.

But, you know, it's fun to be tricked when you go to a magic show because you know that you're being tricked. That's the prestige. When someone pulls a prank in front of you and you're not in on the joke, then you're out of the joke, then you are the joke. And I just can't in good conscience, even though I appreciate and very, very, very much sympathize with the emotional crux behind this. You miss your twin sister. You feel less like a twin now that she has abandoned you for ancient Rome and Berkeley,

California to boot. And this is a kind of twin rite of passage that you never got to see or experience. But I mean, the Scl scars never did the switch itch. And look how they turned out. Maybe this isn't the best argument. Look, I mean, they love each other so much and they love you both so much. And they have so much insight into this experience. And I ultimately feel that, um, while the joke is good, it still remains elusive to find

the twin switch joke that to me at least, never mind Cheska, would be so compellingly hilarious and interesting that it would become essential rather than simply a better idea to think of it than and laugh about it with your twin than actually do it. As far as the birthday party idea, that is a long form, uh, uh, performance art project, which you can do or not do. But at the end of the day, it's not going to scratch the switch hitch and gala. scratch, the switch hitch. And Gail, I think, like a lot of things, like Twindam doesn't last in the same way once you reach adulthood and you individuate for real. Not talking

about wearing different clothes, but you've moved on into separate lives. And that's a hard transition. One that I am grateful that I never had to go through being an only child, not only for the emotional impact of it, but also for the fact that I don't like sharing things to begin with. And yet that is what growing up is, it is transition. And there are opportunities,

and I hate to put it this way, but you know, there are times when you wake up as an adult and you're like, oh, I'm never going to be an opera singer. That is just the trajectory of growing up, whether you have a full sibling, a half sibling, a step sibling, or no sibling at all. And I think that it's the case that that will be an, there are many itches that don't get scratched in life. And I don't think that there's a way to do it without violating your sister's feelings or violating the, the, you know, making someone else feel bad. I have to encourage you to live.

Let that itch just be an itch forever. That said, I do feel sad. And I think that Cheska does too, that you're missing your twinness. And I'm glad that you have plans to join her in Rome. And I am ordering you both to dress alike the entire time that you're in Rome. The entire time? The entire time that you're both together in Rome. Oh, okay.

That's perfect. Now how you decide to do this, first of all, good news, Gaila, you get to go to a clothing store, that was always part one of your scheme. You can pick out the clothes you want to wear together. You can decide some of them. It could just be just regular casual clothes. Maybe someday you want to dress up like the twins from The Shining and walk around Rome. I don't know how far you want to push it. You're going to have to get 100% on every outfit. But I'm talking you're going to go for a week, right?

Was that what you said? I mean, yeah, probably something like that. Yeah. Five days, five outfits, five to seven. That's where I would top it off. Maybe you need two outfits because you know, in Italy, they dress up for dinner. You know what I mean? Like, so, and then you just spend time together wearing the same thing.

I can't imagine a better place to truly become cinematic twins than wandering around Europe together. Uh, this is the sound of a gavel with the twins. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all. Please rise as judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom. Gail. How are you feeling? Yeah, so I am obviously a little disappointed.

The itch will go, the switch itch will go unscratched, but I'm very excited to wear matching outfits around Rome, and definitely someone should make a movie of that. So, producers, filmmakers, Romans, countrymen, let me know. Lend us your money. Jessica, how are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good. Yeah, I'm glad that I don't have to do the switch

that I don't wanna do. I am a little bit overwhelmed by the idea of the many days of wearing the same outfit, but that's going to make five. One day to fly in, one day to fly out. Five days, three outfits rotating. You can do laundry at home. Yeah.

It's okay. But yeah, I'm glad that it will make Gayla happy and fulfill some of her twin dreams. Do they even have double mint gum in Italy? We got to find out. Well, Gayle Acheska, thank you so much for joining us on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Thank you. Thank you for having us. Another Judge John Hodgman case is in the books and there will be

many more Judge John Hodgman case is in the books and there will be many more Judge John Hodgman cases to come thanks to the support of folks who go to maximumfund.org slash join and become members of Maximum Fund. If you become a member, you don't just get the satisfaction of knowing that you're the reason that there are more Judge John Hodgmans in your future. You also get access to our bonus content

and lots of awesome gifts. Absolutely, this is only possible, all of it. It's only possible because of members like you and the folks you know in your life who aren't members yet but are about to become one now. If you're already a member, thank you for making this show possible. If it's in your means to upgrade or boost your level now,

we'd certainly appreciate it. Maximumfund.org slash join is where to go. It means the world to us that you support our work. And look, there are levels from $5 all the way on up to hundreds of dollars a month. But the thing that really means the most to us is that you join us. So go to maximumfund.org slash join. This is the last time we're going

to ask you directly on the air. So please go to maximumfund.org slash join and become a member of Max Funds so we can keep thriving and making this program, making this program better. Yeah. And this is the last time we're going to ask you directly on the air, but Max Fund Drive continues all week. There's so much fun that we're having on all of the hangouts and the unlockables that we're doing. So keep up with us on socials and find out where you can see us

and play with us on streams. Joy of Zoning continues. It's going to be so much fun and make sure to get out there. And remember to remind your friends, MaximumFun.org slash join. We're going to have some swift justice on just a moment. First, our thanks to Redditor MK Becker for naming this week's episode, Statue of Imitations. You can find us on Instagram at JudgeJohnHodgman

as well as on TikTok and YouTube at JudgeJohnHodgmanPod. By the way, John, all of the video that we share on social media, all of the video that we share on YouTube is all a new endeavor for Maximum Fund. So if you wanna support it, go to MaximumFund.org slash join. I promise you that Daniel does not work for free. He works at a very reasonable rate. We're grateful to have his help,

but he can't work without us paying him. So please go to MaximumFund.org slash join and continue to support the continued expansion of our offerings. Also, I wanna send our thanks out to AndreasM99 over there on Apple Podcasts for saying some nice words about the podcast and seeing fit to give us not one, not two, not three,

but five stars as a rating. AndreasM99 says, I've been listening to Judge John Hodgman for more than 10 years now, thank you so much. They say they cannot recommend the podcast enough, hilarious, wise, educational, thank you all for all your hard work. Hey, you know what, AndreasM99, it's nothing. Our hard work is a pleasure to perform

because we know there are long time listeners like you out there, members, I hope, as well as you leaving that review to bring in some new listeners and ideally some new members. If you're listening on Apple podcasts, why don't you leave us a rating and review right now you can do the same thing over on Pocket Cast. And if you're watching us on YouTube, leave us a comment. If you're a twin, identical or otherwise. Let us know your insight into this. If you're a twin, identical or otherwise,

let us know your insight into this. Have you ever pulled a prank? Have you ever scratched the switch itch? We wanna know. Judge John Hodgman was created by Jesse Thorne and John Hodgman. This episode engineered by Jacob Derwin at Technica House in New York City

and by Brian Matheson at Skyline Studios in Oakland, California. John Hodgman, you know, every time we bring litigants onto the Judge John Hodgman podcast, we have to find and book them a video and audio studio to record their side of the podcast on. It is an expense that we have taken on because we want the show to sound and look great.

It's one we are very happy we are able to take on, and it's one we can only take on because of members of Maximum Fund. So go to MaximumFun.org slash join. Our social media manager is Dan Telfer. This podcast edited by AJ McKeon. Our video editor is Daniel Spear. Our producer is Jennifer Marmer.

Here's Swift Justice. Hallie sent a dispute with her husband, Ben. Our producer is Jennifer Marmer. Here's Swift Justice. Halle sent a dispute with her husband, Ben. They're both Max Fund members. Thank you, Halle and Ben. You rule. Here's what Halle says. Our cat, Roosevelt, was brown, just like all other mackerel tabbies.

Ben says she was gray. Who's right? Well, Halle and Ben sent in two wonderful photos of Roosevelt, one in the direct sunshine, one Roosevelt hiding behind a skeleton. I think the dress is gold. Gray or brown, I'm going to say that this cat is browner than gray. I do see the difference,

but here's what they're not telling you, Jesse. This isn't one cat. This is two identical twin cats pretending to be each other. I just got pranked. That's okay. I can take it. I don't mind. John, you've been doing a lot of zoning on the joy of zoning your SimCity

streaming program during the MaxFunDrive. That's right, Jesse. I mentioned before, in honor of MaxFunDrive, I have returned to SimCity 2013. I'm live streaming every weekday morning starting at 10 a.m. Eastern, that's 7 a.m. Pacific, as we continue to build out as we continue to build out Hodgetona Beach, a resort community for people who like to party virtually. And it is in honor of the spring break theme of Maximum Fun and itself is a lot of fun. So please join us in the mornings over there on the Judge John Hodgman YouTube channel,

which is of course, John Hodgman pod. Clack's on, clack's on, clack's on. Please pardon the clack's on, but I wanted to interrupt for a moment and simply say a very special thank you to those of you who have just joined Maximum Fund for the very first time and those of you who are about to do so

during this Max Fund Drive. I wanna say thank you, but more than that, I wanna say thank you personally on the internet and I wanna mispronounce your name while doing it. Yes, it's a special offer for all those brand new members of Maximum Fund during this Maximum Fund drive. If you have just joined for the very first time, do me a favor. Send me the receipts. Take a screenshot of your confirmation email and email it to me at Hodgman at MaximumFund.org. And over the next few days, I will go on my personal social media

and thank you on video and I will mispronounce your name while doing it. Once again, if you're a brand new member of Maximum Fund or you joined before the end of the Max Fund Drive for the very first time, screenshot your confirmation email, email it to me at hajjman at maximumfund.org and I will mispronounce

your name on the internet. All right, let's get back to it. MaximumFun.org slash JJHO is where you send in your disputes. We always need them. But if you're going to go to MaximumFun.org for one reason, I think you know where I want you to go this week. MaximumFun.org slash join. And if you have any disputes, you can send them in there too.

And remember our final request to you, please become a member of Maximum Fun at MaximumFun.org slash join. We'll talk to you next time on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.