Judge John Hodgman - TEASER: Members Only Mailbag December 2025

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

Are you a knuckle cracker? Or do you hate the sound? What other bodily functions make "fun" noises? The J Squad discusses this and much more in the last Members Only Mailbag of 2025! Available now in the members-only bonus feed!Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content. Gift-giving season has come to a close but why not give yourself a lil treat?Thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff, Jesse Thorne. With me, Judge John Hodgman. Hey, if you are a member of Maximum Fun, first of all, thank you very much. Second of all, go and check your bonus feed. The new episode of our monthly members-only mailbag is now available in your bonus content feed.

If you're not a member and you're wondering what I'm talking about, well, it's simply a monthly show where we get together and read some letters from members. and we talk about them. It's a lot of fun, and if you want to know what it sounds like, well, here comes a clip. Do you think that husband William, when he says, I might, I'll probably forget to go in the other room to crack my knuckles, that that isn't part of potential, I don't want to diagnose this guy, but you know what I'm saying.

I think that this guy is, this is not a conscious action. He will forget to go in the other room to crack his knuckles. The idea of going in the other room to crack knuckles is. is a little bit ridiculous anyway. And I think he is right that that is not a realistic solution to the problem. It's just not, I'm not saying it's good or bad.

I'm just saying it's not actually going to happen. I'm not, I don't think it, and I don't think it's not going to happen out of anyone's ill will. Right. You know it also feels good and makes a fun noise. Of all the things you can do with your body. Uh-huh.

A sneeze. All right. That's one version of it. Where else do you sneeze from? on your body. Right. Okay. It's the Membo Mailbag, but let's not get crazy.

No, I'm talking about farting. Oh, okay. Fun noise. Fun noise and it feels good. No, I don't do that. You know, someone I'm married to once told me that she had never farted in her life, and I believed her for years. That's cool.

Later, she said, no, I was lying. Obviously, that was a joke. I just thought, I mean, I'd go through life. I'm a weird mutant, so I mean, it's true that people don't fart. I mean, I've never known that person to say anything without conviction, so I feel like I would have believed her. Turns out she does fart, although honestly, I've never heard her fart. I think that she has probably heard me fart, but I do try to take care to not just fart away

in her presence. You're not just farting your way across town. Right. I mean, I'm good. I'm good. I think I'm pretty good at discreet farting. but what do I know? I've spent a lot of time in a car with you, John,

and I've never noticed you farting. Thank you very much, Jesse. You're welcome. Jennifer's like, I wish I could say the same. No, I'm agreeing with you. Well, yeah, Jennifer and I usually sit in the backseat while you and Matthew Barnard are talking about music bands or whatever. Yeah.

You know, maybe in the backseat it's different. No. But, yeah, I was, I think my ruling was basically, I presume that husband William farts and I presume that he doesn't fart in front of you and if he can fart in another room he can crack his knuckles in another room. I mean, I get it.

I might be a challenge, perhaps if there is a neurodivergence issue here or some other, you know, brain chemical difference. It might be challenging for him to remember to leave the room. But I do think I was reminded recently of a very important piece of advice that I learned from Jeff.

last name, if I ever knew it, I forgot it, but he was the boom operator on the Apple ads that I did with my friend Justin Long. Jeff, by boom operator, I mean, he sat on top of a ladder. He had a long pole with a microphone at the end of it, the boom mic, and he would sit in that uncomfortable position and hold a microphone above us for hours on end, you know, however long it took for us to record a thing. and one day I was happily whistling a little tune as I don't remember what the tune was maybe someone to wash over me I don't know what it was I was happily whistling a tune to kill the time between takes and Jeff took me aside after that and he said hey you know who really enjoys whistling I'm like who said the person who's whistling and no one else and I was like got it I probably was driving you crazy because you had a microphone over me and you had to listen to me whistling very hard and I take that to heart I don't I try not to burst into song or whistle in front of people the same way I try not to fart or crack my knuckles in front of people. Ariel, I think that you deserve a little bit of peace and quiet

and I think that William should try to leave the room. And if he can't, if he forgets from time to time, it's fine. But don't give up on it, William, before you even try it. If you want to hear the whole thing, memberships at max funds start at five bucks a month. Join us at maximum fund.org slash join. Don't miss out. Become a member and enjoy that members only members.

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