Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola on Britney Spears, JFK Jr, LA and The Swan

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Chris Franjola is here! How will Britney Spears’ DUI arrest affect her future? Rhianna’s home was shot at! Rachel Zoe was Robbed. Timothee Chalamet pissed off the ballerinas. Netflix dumped Meghan Markle. The Swan TV show is our next documentary. Dr. Phil’s doc is juicy. JFK Jr’s ex Darryl Hannah is furious with her portrayal in Love Story. Also, we discuss Aliens, LA private school scandals, and Erewhon! So juicy, so funny! -Use code JUICYSCOOP at https://jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Shimmer Face Oil with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad -Go to ⁠https://quince.com/juicy⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns.  -Join Thrive Market with my link ⁠https://ThriveMarket.com/JUICYSCOOP ⁠for 30% off your first order plus a FREE $60 gift!  -Buy any 2 cans of Olipop in store, and we'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor, any retailer. Go to https://drinkolipop.com/JUICYSCOOP - Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Head to ⁠https://acorns.com/juicyscoop⁠ or download the Acorns app to get started. Subscribe to my new show Juicy Crimes!: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/juicycrimes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stand Up Tickets and info: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://heathermcdonald.net⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch the Juicy Scoop On YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://juicyscoopshop.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HeatherMcDonaldOfficial⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Juicy Scoop is the show to know She talks Hollywood Tales for real life Mr. Sigmund Serial Data and Serial Sister You'll be addicted and addicted fast To the number one tabloid real life podcast Listen in, listen up Woooop Hannah MacDonald

Juicy Scoot Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoot. Well, it's your favorite day because it's a juicy scoop with Chris Franjola. Back from the road, some people were bragging that they got a photo with you. Free photos. Oh, blue eyes sparkling. I have to do what I have to do to get people to come, you know. Free photos.

Oh, I read. Yeah, it is weird sometimes when you hear about stars that are like, you want a photo, it's $10, you know, or whatever. I don't know how to take the money, you know, like I wouldn't even like, all someday would take the phone And I go, $10. This doesn't happen a long time, but there was a time, it probably happened like twice in my life of doing stand-up, maybe like 10 years ago when I would come out, you know, in the club and just like take pictures if anyone wanted, whatever. And I remember this guy just like tipped me. I love it. It's happened like twice to me.

And I'm, you know, they just slip your 20. Like nice show. Like I'm a hooker or something. I know. And I was like, no, you don't have. I was like, all right. Right. Well, it's $20.20. It's $20.

Right. Yeah. And I guess it's kind of like when you see like a live performer at like a Mastros. Yeah. I always give those people some cash. Do you? Okay. In their little, in their.

Well, that's different. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But I wonder that maybe somebody that doesn't go to comedy clubs that much just thinks that's kind of the thing. Like, oh, this sad gal is just really struggling. I mean, there's cheapen it a bit. Yeah.

Like, I don't like, he probably was like, I didn't even. know who I was or how he ended up there that night, but was like, I need to help this mother out. Like you wouldn't give like a Dell 20 bucks after the Vegas show. So it is, I don't know, fine line. But anyway, I'll take the 20. Oh my gosh. Okay. So we need to talk about our girl, Britney Spears. Oh, boy. So this is what happened. It was very late at night. I think that this, that she was someone called in describing the car saying it was swerving and looks suspicious from there a Ventura County Sheriff and the Ventura County Sheriff's they don't fuck around and they never have okay so they he pulls her over and now I've heard different things one is that she only had a

0.06, but she also went to the hospital because I'm guessing she refused the breathalyzer, or maybe it was too low and they wanted to see if it could be higher. Yeah. Because what you can do is if you say, I don't want to do a breathalyzer, that's fine, but then you will go to the hospital and they will take a blood test, which is more accurate as far as I know defense attorneys prefer a blood to a breathalyzer. They believe it's more accurate and maybe leaning towards. also it's going to take another 30 minutes to get your buzz warm down a little bit I don't know now so she got arrested she was just there for a couple hours she came home her manager kade um Hudson Cade not Kate Hudson he wrote something saying you know the family is working together she's going to get the help that she needs so that she can live like a successful happy existence not even like success like performing just that

And her sons are going to visit her. And that's where, and I guess the last thing she posted that night was like at 10 at night. And it was not good. You know, it was the weird felt hat, the brown sensible pumps. Were she out and or at her house? At the house. Yeah. Posted that.

Okay. Which could have been right then she could have recorded or she could have been an old one. Who knows? And then she was pulled over just off of Westlake. So she was coming back from like Moore Park or something, I think. A restaurant or where was she in a bar? No, because we don't know where she was because someone called to say it looks like this, this driver could be impaired.

Oh, okay. So I remembered when the road that you take to my house, someone had filmed her being erratic. A couple of months ago. And people were like, why didn't you call the police? It was pretty erratic. It was pretty erratic. So I believe that, I believe. I believe this story to be true as far as she was it was erratic driving maybe but maybe she didn't

have a DUI maybe she's just a really fucking shitty driver and she is probably you know taken something some people feel it is when I say some people I mean you know discussions that are happening could it have to do could this be a little more sinister oh and that was she set up nothing ever just happens anymore. No, no. Was she set up because she just sold her whole catalog? Why would, oh, so who's mad about that? The only thing I can think of is do you want her kind of, this will cause an intervention?

Yeah. And maybe she'll get better, which is fine. Or is there something in that this way, now that it's sold, other people can be performing? I don't know what the correlation would be. I don't believe that correlation. I believe she went out. Someone saw her erratically driving. This is not L.A.

This is like more suburbia. And someone called. And it really happened. But Britney Spears being erratic is nothing new. I mean, you know what I mean? So I don't think, I don't know about the setup thing. No, I don't think it's a setup.

It was just a matter of time where something like this was going to happen. All she wanted to do was driving her car. Remember that she just said when she was in the conservative ship, she wanted to go, she wanted to get caught. coffee, massages, and like go spa days and drive in her car. Yeah. I mean, this is going to be a problem. But if it is a 0.06 and she doesn't have a DUI, but maybe she is in a rehab regardless.

And she, you know, because arrested for the DUI doesn't mean she has a DUI. Right. If her defense says she's a 0.06, then she won't have it. But in the meantime, the whole world knows that this happened. Right. And now she has to get help. I had read something that there were also some sort of drugs in the system, whether they'd just be like prescription drug. Right, right. Yeah. I read that too.

So. And then I thought like the last couple of dances, the boobs have been popping out. That's a new. Oh, how she's squeezing now? No, they're coming out. They're coming completely out of the nightgown or whatever she's wearing. She's wearing some sort of teddy. And she had like the clothes.

I always do. Like I always tap it. And then I like zoom in. I know you've caught a couple dog shits. Yeah. But then I like, I'm like, there's a. rack of clothes. There's... Yeah, I mean, it's not great.

The whole thing is just not a... I mean, there was another report where she couldn't, like, she lives in a community where it's like, I think it's a gate, you know, not with a guard. And you have to remember your code. Right. And there was some other report, like, she was there. She couldn't, you know, remember the code. And I mean, yeah. Yeah.

But the thing is, is like, when someone's like, she's, when someone tells you like, you're crazy and you need to, whatever, get on the meds to make you not be crazy. Now, I think they're like happy though. Now they can say yes, but you endangered yourself and others. So now you have to get back on this thing. Or just don't drive. Okay.

Maybe as someone that has a mental issue, she's like, fine then. I'll just never drive again. I don't want to. I like spinning around. I don't ever want to perform for money. I just like Instagram. And I like slapping. my own ass and, you know, smearing my lipstick and doing my own hair in extensions. I don't know.

But I'm like, some people just, why can't they stay crazy? If they're not hurting anyone, why can't she just stay crazy? I think some people do, you know? Yeah. Those people you see feeding pigeons, you know, in the park, you know, at odd hours. I think that she's, I think she would be that person. If she didn't have money. Yeah, if you didn't have money. You know what I mean? So I don't know. I mean, as I've said since the beginning, you know, everybody, I got a lot of heat for it. I said I think the conservatorship was a good thing. I don't know if I'm right or wrong year.

But I feel like at this point, it didn't get, once it was lifted, things didn't turn around like everybody thought they were going to. I think when it was, I think though, at the heart of it, everybody was benefiting by her taking these drugs and getting on stage. and working in Vegas. Right. And she was not benefiting from the work. Yeah. And that's where she was like, fuck this. And I remember that there was that moment where she came out and they were going to announce

a whole other thing like at MGM or something. And she came out and just like walked away. Yeah. And then she was like, oh, my dad's sick. And I think that was right before the conservorship ended. And she was like, I'm not going to sign. I don't want to end up working like this for another five years where everyone gets the money and I'm the only one not enjoying it. I like being at home spinning around.

Yeah. That's what she likes. You know? Speaking of which before I forget, because it's not on my list of things to talk about, our magician, speaking of MGM, yeah. Yes, MGM, David Copperfield, who has been there forever. I told you that we, that I saw the show. You've performed there, but you never did see his show, did you? I've seen it years ago. Okay. But not the current one with the alien and stuff? No, not this new. But I perform at a theater next to his. Yes. And well, we told you the story about how we went to go and everything. And it, it'll be a moment that with the people I saw it with, like, we were like bonded. Like, bonded. Like, bonded, like, it was the craziest, weirdest, overtly sexual. He has a, it looked like he stuffed

his pants from the entire drive home from Las Vegas we looked up everything so you had great you had like front row seats yes and he comes out like the he's 71 now he and the pictures shocking around the MGM looks nothing like that are yeah he's 35 in those pictures so first it's like a jump scare yeah so you haven't seen nobody's seen the man like so talk about like conspiracy theories and stuff like that we all the drive home like we're like looking at the Redits and all the stuff where people are like, I think he has someone performing for how. I'm like, no, no, it's him. He's just older. Yeah. And so there's awful stories of accusations and stuff throughout his life. He's all over the FD files. He's been all over them for. He's hugging

Gislayne in a robe. And he had his own island. Yeah. And like forever. Remember he dated Claudia Schiffer for a long time? Yeah. But I looked up and I think he's like married with kids now. But I don't know who he like how old the wife is or whatever yeah and then this other red it that we found the guy this guy said i used to work for him and he was you know and my job was i would drive him back every night from the show and he would get fast food and he would eat the fast food in the car because like whoever he was with was not supposed to know that he was having fast food and just all these like weird things and then um but the show is going to end April something.

Yeah. But they're saying that it's because of the Epstein. Yes, definitely it appears to be that. Yeah. But also, you know, these type of things, I think sometimes the greatest thing that happens to like corporate America is Me Too, Epstein, whatever. Because sometimes I think they're probably like trying to get rid of some older

performer or newscaster who makes way more than they could get. I can get a 25 year old to read the teleprompter and whatever. So they're like, but they're, in these long contracts and then all of a sudden they're like great news we got we got rid of him we got rid of Matt Lauer yeah Matt Lauer you know whatever and then and then they're like okay well your contract there is a morality clause that's how they get you and by you having an affair fucking an intern whatever um being whatever discussed like you you are in the Epstein files yeah now we're going to end this.

So that's what I think happened. Yeah. So now at the end of April, he's just, I guess, done, right? Right. But that particular show that he's been doing has been around for a long time. 25 years. No, but he changes the show like every like 10. But this one was like on year eight or something because the music was like dat funk and

da da da da da da da da da. And like it was. Or deft punk. Daph punk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Good to do to get lucky. Yeah, that's like an 11-year-old song. Right, right. No, the Statue of Liberty, didn't make Stature of Liberty disappear when? He said he was going to make the moon disappear in his song. But Drake just said, maybe he can just make Epstein Island disappear in his next big thing. Part of this show is he says, I am going to make the moon disappear.

I was a little holding back how much I talked last time. Yeah. Because I thought, like, if I perform there again, he'll still be there. But now that I know that he won't be, I just don't. care. The funny thing was, I don't know anything about the man, but I've heard, you know, my whole life, I've been hearing him, David Copperfield. I thought he was like some amazing person from a far off land. Turns out he's like from New Jersey or something. Oh, he's just like a regular guy from New Jersey. I don't know why I thought he was this supernatural or something. This show,

he does this whole thing, this whole like through line about his father and he acts like it's old videos of his parents and stuff. And it's like halfway three, you're like, okay, now, these are just actors, just like a created story, whatever. It was so. And then there's an alien element that's like weird. I just, I don't know. But I'm telling you, I'm telling you the weirdness because I'm saying you need to go see

it because you'll never and you need to go see it with someone that like you would laugh in church with. Like you need that kind of friend to go see this thing before it's over with because I, I don't think, you know. I've heard stories. I've had friends who, when you do comedy there, they ask you. Like, if you want to go see anything, what you can get you in. And it's always been like a timing thing because you've got to run right from there to the show.

And I was like, I don't need to see. But my friends have all come back from the coppfish. We're going, same thing you said. They're like, wow, it is wild. Like, your, same thing. Like he doesn't, there's not the same person that you see in the pictures. and everything else. And he's really phoning in the performance.

Honestly, it was the highlight of my Bravo Con experience because it was like there was six of us there and we just were like, just like mouths on the floor, like what is this crying laughing? Like Brady and Julie, Julie is obsessed.

Like it, yeah, go see. And then go look up all the stuff about him before or after. Because not only are they the Epstein file. Yes, he had his own stories. Allegations going back way back from like young girls that he would pick out from the audience that were like, you know, not 18 through then he pursued allegedly and like all that kind of stuff. Right. And I was reading this, you know, knowing that he remembering the island and remembering all his stories and we're reading this on the way back in November before the big drop of the Epstein files. And I was like, so everyone's just ignoring all these stories.

These are legit, awful stories. Because he was one of the first names that came out. It was like David Cofield. And, you know, I'm a guy who's in Stephen Hawking and David Cofield. I'm like, oh, those are the two? The Stephen, yeah, like Stephen Hawking, just like no matter what, you're just thinking, oh, this unattractive, you know, genius who's, you know, bound by a wheelchair. Still a perv.

It doesn't matter how pathetic your life is. It's like the same thing when people are like, oh, this ugly old rich man that thinks I'm a queen, he never cheat on me. Yeah, I will. Right. Yeah, I will. I saw a picture in the paper of Stephen Hawking with two girls next to him in bikinis. And it said, Stephen Hawking relaxing with two, you know, bikini class. I said, he has no other choice than to relax.

That's his position. His spine is gone. on. Like, all he does is relax. That's not like you just got to tell them this roofing job. Yeah. Oh, well. Gay guys, lesbians, and straight adjacent women. This is your call to action.

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Rihanna's house was shot at. So she has this house in Beverly Hills and it has like a white, you know, gate in front of it, which a lot of people have, which like you, like, you know, safe to cut gate your home. But this woman showed up with an AK, what it was it? An AK-47. An AK-47. Yeah. And just was shooting at it.

So you can see where they have the bullet. AR-15. A gun's a machine gun. A AR-15. I'm not a gun girl. But anyway, shot up the thing. And you can see like, you know, where it was shot up. And she's, you know, the bail is set for $10 million, which means someone needs to come up with a million.

We don't, we know her name, but we don't know why she was there, what her connection is. I assume she's just a crazed fan. That's what I've heard. Yeah. But like... Was we on home at the time? I mean, I don't know if she probably has house. I don't know.

I mean, she has three kids now. She's pregnant with third or something. Right. I mean, regardless, like so freaking scary. So that was awful. Then Rachel Zoe's house was burglarized. She was not there. No one was hurt.

But I just find it interesting because she's now Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And of the current cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Doreet was robbed. Yeah. Like at gunpoint inside her house. Oh, she was there?

She was there. Oh, shit. And there was a lot of controversy of people wondering, is this a real story? Is this whatever? But it appears to still her story holds up. No one's ever said it was like a Justice Smollett situation. Right. That's never been proven.

Then Kyle wasn't home. Her house was robbed of like, you know, heirlooms, purses, all this stuff. Kathy Hilton, her sister, was just robbed, and her husband was home, and he got out his gun. And the guy was like in the house. Oh, shit. Everything. He's okay. No one was hurt.

Sutton, who's on the show, her house was robbed when she was not there. And I'm like, you know, the whole thing of these reality shows is all the fans are like, we want to see real wealth. We want to see real. So people show up their show. the cameras are in their homes oftentimes people like i remember the Kardashians all those years that you would see the old Kardashians that wasn't the outside of their house they did a different outside of their house yes even though they're behind gates and everything that can only do so much and so but they don't do that for real housewives they show it their real house yes and they film

their real house and there's a new girl now that bought the old house of kiles and she is a money manifest her, that's her job. What else that mean? She tells what she's like, her name's Amanda and she goes, I make more in a month than my husband makes in a year. So I'm, or her fiancee, so I'm planning the wedding for the way I want it. I empower women. I tell them how to manifest money.

So by journaling, by taking her courses. That's it? Spend $7,500. Yeah. And you can learn how to manifest your own money wealth. That's amazing. who falls for this bullshit? Women.

There's so much of this bullshit going on, and I'm shocked by it. Like, if I got to watch Mel Robbins one more time to tell me to get a good night's rest, I'm like, no shit. I've said it. I think it's women. Women are looking for the answer.

They go to the tarot card readers. They go, more of us go to church, more of us manifest, more of us do the secret. But, you know, and there's a lot of things, you know, prayer shouldn't cost money and manifesting shouldn't cost money. But then there's these tools that are like coaching tools that people sell. And it's their right to make that money.

And if you buy it, you know, you know. Yeah. Teddy Mellencamp, before she got into podcasting, her job was she would just yell at you through text about how much you can eat that week. And people paid $500 a week. Really? And then she'd be like, show me. me your food. Yeah. And they'd say, this is my food for the day. And she's like too many carrot

slices. Next time, three less. It's all true. Sounds like my mother. And then she taught people under her to be called accountability coach. But they weren't nutrition. They weren't, they didn't have degrees in nutrition or physical, you know, being a private trainer, nothing like that. So there's a woman who's a money manifester, but how does she really make the money? Is it? That's it. You people buy the courses. There is no, the product is her telling you how to journal. So then she had an episode where she said, hey, everybody, you know, I got you these journals

and now I need you to sit around the housewives and like write, you know, if money wasn't an option, where would I want to be next year if, you know, and like imagine it. And I'm all for like the manifestation stuff. And putting it all together. But I don't need a course for it. I just kind of think of it and hope for it. And then I look back and I go, oh, that did kind of work out that way. But that's which.

But she's now talking about her wealth all the time and showing her home. If I was her, I would be like, what better security can I get right now? I would be really terrified living in L.A. on a street that anyone can drive on. I've heard that they're looking for like the person. that's what I've heard. Like all these break-ins, they're looking for the expensive handbags.

I heard somebody ended up suing who they stole from because they went and the purses were fake. They're like, I wasted my time. Wait a minute. I went to the real real and it turned out they were fake. And here's this big Palm Beach lady that was acting like she was rich, but a lot of them are fake.

I bet they are. You can get now these super fake, like Armei Birkenbags. They call super fake. because they really are like crocodile skin and stuff. They're not from Aramee, but they're fake. They look like Armei, but they're like $6,000. Like a lower rent crocodile.

Like a homeless crocodile. They're not bred in, and they're not living in an orange tank like Armei. But it's, you know, like, so if you're rich and you're walking around with a crocodile bag, people will think, oh, she spent $65,000 on that because she is that rich. but the truth is she only spent six. Right. It's still not from the store. I mean, there's one, New York City.

You can see them. Right. They lay the one of the sheet on them. There's the ones that you can get for, you know, 150 or 350. Those are those fakes. Yeah. But then if you, you know, so all of it, yeah, so these people are robbing and, you know, it's a bummer. Because she's always, but that's all she talks about, Rachel's always like, I'm a vintage girl.

I mean, I have vintage Chanel, vintchid Gucci, vintage this. I you know she's so Is she a real housewife now? Yeah she's a real housewife now She basically took the job so that she could destroy the husband that she's divorcing Oh got it She likes to talk a lot about what a dicky is And it's better to get it out that way like talking with other people

That if you were just to like Yeah Do a podcast solo episode of how much you hate your husband This is much more organic And talk to the kids about it, whatever She's very entertaining on it but I'm telling you, if I was a robber, yeah, and someone said,

hey, where should we rob this week? I'd be like, let's get ourselves some vintage Gucci and stuff because that stuff's not fake. Who has that? Well, Rachel's, oh. Yeah. All right. So anyway, it's scary.

Okay. Our guy, Timothy Shalame, was in some type of interview, and he was talking about films. And, you know, people are going to see less films. And so he basically said, look, I want this art to stay around forever. I don't want it to turn into like ballet and opera. I'm paraphrasing, but basically I read the whole thing to see the context.

But he was talking to Matthew McConaughey, right? Yeah, he was talking to somebody else. It was McConaughey. I don't know what was for a podcast or what. So basically, you know, that people don't, in his opinion, he didn't think people were rushing to go see those things as maybe they did 100 years ago. Right.

And I was thinking about it. And I want, and listen, I believe that there's people that sing opera and learn ballet and everything that are young today. But I have often thought, now I'm an older person, you know, Gen X. And if we're not going to it because we were raised in it, like I just think you either go to it, like you either go to hockey games or whatever or you don't. Right. I think there's an audience for it. Sure. And it was, you were never part of it.

But I did go to an opera like, I don't know, like 15 years ago. We got tickets. And I took my mother-in-law. And after like about 35 minutes, I was like, are you like feeling this? And she's like, no, I go, would you care if we left? Are we going to drive all the way down? And I just, I just, it wasn't for me. Yeah.

That's fine. But I understand why all these people are mad. And they're like, you know, doing these videos of like, try this Timothy Shalamein. It was this guy, you know, in a little onesie spinning around on one of those vibrating things. Well, he's able to spin around while it vibrates doing a pleia or whatever because he's an incredible ballet ballet ballet. Now, ballet, I feel like people will always want to go see ballet.

Yeah. Because, but I also feel like, you know, in our generation, you're like, if you put your daughter in ballet, they'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You almond mom. You're going to give your daughter. eating disorder like every bit person that's ever had an any ballet is tells is on a podcast saying like I hate my mom and I didn't want to do this and this was awful and I you know they were weighing me and you know my ankles don't work now yeah I don't know feet yeah we had one girl at our school

that had that was a bellerita and she was the only one we knew and we every two weeks she had to get new shoes. And so we were like, can we have a pair? And they're like hanging on for decorate our rooms. And you could see, you know, the dried blood inside because she's spinning around. And then I went to her house and the mom made this beautiful meal. And she's like, none for you. None for the kid. Yeah. Oh, God. And I got the meatloaf and the mashed potatoes and she had to have literally a carrot. You know what she needs? And then Teddy Minkel. I was just kind of say she needs a text from Teddy melon cap. Too many carrots. Too many parents.

Oh my God. You see, my problem with ballet, which I went to a couple. And the few that I've seen were these odd, this guy, he's kind of famous for like turning famous, like, plays into ballets. And the adults play the kids parts. Because too many picket little kids were molested. I don't know, whatever. Or they don't have the union rules, whatever they can't work certain hours. So, you know, and any time an adult play as a kid part, especially in something like that they really got to overdo it,

they just give them the big rainbow lollipop. That was some like 38-year-old man spinning around with the big rainbow lollipop and like a propeller hat. I'm like, all right. I mean, I think that's creepier than just watching a kid do it. Oh, my God. Yeah. So anyway. But I think Chalemi was kind of joking.

He was just like talking. But he was also, I said, I go, I think he's being kind of humble by saying, look, the art form that we're doing right now, it might not be around. Yeah. In, in 20 years, the way things are moving so fast, if people don't go to see movies and all that. And then he also said, like, how the action now they're saying the action has to be right at the front of the film. Right. So then Drake goes, yeah, that really pissed me off. I wanted to go see that Jurassic Park or whatever, the latest one.

And he goes, in the first five minutes, are just people getting. being ripped and torn by dinosaurs. And then the rest of it, he's like, where's the dinosaurs? Like there was no more. Right. Right. Yeah. It's just. And, um, that's funny. So it's, yeah, I think he was trying to be like, just because we're movie stars today doesn't mean that we'll have the luxury of being it. That's where I think he was. A lot of people are also saying that this kind of screwed his chances at winning best actor now because now he's not in the light. Yeah, some stink on him. Yeah. Yeah. And then I, yeah. And then S&L did a joke about it being like, you know, you said no one's interested in opera.

or ballet, but you also did a movie about ping pong. Yeah, true. And I haven't seen it. I did. Did you love it? It's okay. It's pretty good. I mean, definitely watchable.

What is it? So he's just a ping pong player? Well, it's more to it than that. But yeah, it is about ping pong in the end. Did he have childhood trauma? Was he bullied or anything? It's the same guy who did uncut gems. You ever see that movie Uncut Gems with Adam Sandler?

Yeah. So it's like really frenetic and kind of wild. It's kind of actiony and moves a lot. It's pretty good. Does it have a narration? Yeah, a little bit. It's a good movie. Check it out.

You wouldn't be disappointed. We were at like eating outside and this song, that song was playing that is, you just are right away. You know that Rolling Stone song? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so anyway, it was on it. I was like, oh my God, this is like in every Martin Scorsese film where he's always like, this is where I met boob-a-bop.

Boob-de-bop. He always knew where to get the best ladies, you know, like, whatever it is. Is that your audition for a Montes-Costate? Yeah. And then it's always someone slowly walking to the jet. Yeah.

It's always like a cocaine-filled suitcase or money or whatever. It's always that song. But I'm like, when you say the frenetic, I'm like, yeah, when you see like a style of a movie like that about someone's life and then they do that narration to keep you, was there a narration or no? Yeah, there is a narration of that movie.

Yeah. I was always told that that's a, that's a lazy way to write movies and TV. It just covers a lot of ground. Yeah. Instead of showing it, you could just talk about it. Yeah. And then it stops.

Yeah. Record scratch. Yeah. Let me tell you, that's Harry McGee. Harry McGee is my friend. Sounds like we got a Scorsese movie. Your co-worker. My co-op.

Yeah, Megan Markle. Yes, your co-worker. The Netflix deal is, done. I don't think this is any surprise. Netflix ends Megan Markle's partnership. They, of course, were very classy about it. They said it was a, this, the time has run out. We are not renewing it. But we're so excited to see what she'll do to grow the brand as ever on her own. Yeah. Which is the jam. She's got a lot of jam, which I said, they said the Netflix offices were filled with the jam. I read some report. You know.

They can't even give it away There's damn jams everywhere And then they said the jam wasn't even made Like in California It's made in like Idaho or something Yeah And so because it was supposed to be Whatever the jam was called was based

Originally she had some other name I can't even She didn't really anyway As ever or as if or whatever As fuck I don't know what it's called I think it's as ever Yeah I think you were right

Anyway What I have So what now? I mean where do we go from here. We are so close to doing my prediction, which is what I've always said. Another, but you already did a podcast. No, join, she will end up joining an ensemble reality show cast that follows their lives. And I don't, it's coming closer than I even predicted. Like a real housewives? Yeah, something like that. Oh, that would be, that's too, she can't do that. It's going to happen.

Really? Yeah. Because, you know, because it will. And, Even in that, I don't think that she will be that exciting to watch. Right. But it'll be a name to like get the deal sold. Okay. I wouldn't be surprised if she was trying to put it together herself where she could have like final edit. And she's like recruiting some Monticito preschool moms being like, would you want to do something like this? Uh-huh.

But then she's probably going to say, but unlike housewives, it'll be about women entrepreneurs supporting each other. I just watched a show about women entrepreneurs supporting each other. What is it called? It's called CEO Club. Oh, what's that on? Serena Williams Prime or something. Oh. And it's fine, but it's not as entertaining as when they're ripping their each other's heads off for coming late to the charity event.

Yeah. Don't figure that out after the ratings are down. Like, start flipping over tables. Yeah, I mean, you know, you follow them at their book signing at Barnes & Noble. Then you follow them when they get their wax museum, their fax figure. Then you follow them at their beauty launch. Right. You know, with the flower wall and people taking photo.

It's just kind of like, we've seen it all. Like, that's not going to people's, like, press events as a reality show is not really juicy. So that's what I think is going to happen. Okay. I mean, what about afternoon television? What about moving into that Kelly Clarkson world? No way. She does not have the popularity anymore.

I think she's getting to the point where people just don't really care that much. They don't even care enough to, like, rip on her. Yeah. People didn't even rip on the second season like they did the first because they were like the joke's old and I don't really care. Right. What do you think is going to happen to, right? Well, here's what I mean, I think I said it before on here.

You got to start making yourself seem a little more human. I know, I don't, you know, a day-to-day life, but neither is anyone else. That's part of the problem. So, like I'm not kidding when I, say a couple of pop-ups on Saturday Live. All of a sudden you're like, oh, okay. Maybe she is fun. Like, and then you're grounded more.

Like she's too, nobody knows what she is. Okay. So now you work at S&L. Yeah. And her people pitch, pitch her to do something, which you know they're not going to just say right or anything. Like,

she's going to, I don't think, I think that the wave is passed. Like I think she, you could be right. I think she, it's just like I just don't think people would care. Yeah.

But I, the only way I think it can happen is if, and I don't want this to happen, is if they broke up. And then she was really free. She's now Sarah Ferguson, which she's in a lot of hot water. She's all over the obscene files and all that.

But she's just kind of like, I'm the ex-princent. And she kind of can get real like you. Like just talk about like, my God, like what if here I thought I was going to have this, which she never will, I don't think. I don't think so. Yeah, that's part of the problem. But yeah, who knows? I mean, I still think she's very fun to look at. Like, I still think she's really pretty. Do you think there's acting again at all? Back to acting, like full on real, whatever she was doing, suits and things like that. I think there's so few

acting jobs. And I think it wouldn't be convenient for like where her life is. Right. That I, I think she's like a little bit, hate to say it, lazy. The podcast sounded like she was real lazy. The show was very lazy. She's putting it Crair Joe's peanut butter pretzels into a bag. I mean, and not. But it wasn't her house. You made them like find a house down the street.

And then they did all two seasons together in like two weeks, like knocked it out. So I'm like, I don't think that she will want to get up at 4 a.m. And drive to Warner Center. Yeah. Warner Brothers and be in a trailer for 12 hours, learning lines to Gray's Anatomy. I just don't think it's going to happen. Right.

Okay. All right. The Swan Paget. We knew this was coming. Hulu is going to visit the Swan. I literally said after the America's next top model, I go, now they're just going to do every horrible where a 90s. Yeah, where a 25 reel is going to do a TikTok going,

I can't believe they did this. Right. Yeah. Who are these monsters that green lit the show and then also watched it from home. Yeah. And the swan is one of them. And I cannot wait because there is not a show I want to know more about where are they now

than the swan. Oh, God. Yeah. Have you seen anywhere are they now, Stromic? Or anybody? I just remember shortly after. And there were two swans, a guy and a girl, that got all the plastic surgery, you know, pin back the ears, filled the cheeks, shortened the nose, got the hair extension.

they look like Miss Piggy walking around. Right. They turn around like that big log hair. And two swans had a baby. Oh, yeah. And I need to see what that baby looks like. Yeah, because genetically eight years are out. Right.

The schnaz is shna. I don't know. I need to see what that baby looks like. So, and then also they went back to their hometowns and it's like, you know, do they have money to keep getting the Botox? Do they have money to keep filling their hair extensions? It's like they're going to go back to working at the Dairy Queen. Right.

So I'm, yeah, like I think this will be interesting, very interesting. I just remember, remember, and Dr. DeBrow, Heather DeBro's husband from O.C., he was one of the original doctors. Oh, yeah, that's right. And they couldn't see, remember they couldn't look at themselves and they'd lose weight and then they'd get all the surgeries. It feels like 100 years ago. I vaguely remember the show.

And then they'd be like, okay. And then they look the thing and they'd look in the mirror after they've had all complex surgery, have it looked in the mirror for three months, like the swelling, everything has to go down. And they're just like, it was so, it was crazy. Yeah. But kind of crazy fun, but awful. I always felt it was weird. They used to do things like this, not to this length, but I think it was like the today show or something, where they would go out to the plaza. Yeah. They would just do a haircut on a guy and maybe give them a better fitting pants. Yeah. And I was always like, well, what if you're the guy who probably thinks, hey, I look great. And then they're like, you. Searching around.

We need somebody gross. And there's poor guys out there with a sign. Happy birthday to his wife at 6. Like, you're gross enough. What? Yeah, you. I remember being at my first apartment in Brentwood, desperate to be on TV, picking up the drama logs and sending out the hedgehog. And I'm like, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get picked for a. makeover, okay? So I put on this awful outfit and I parted my hair down the middle and I had no makeup and I was like like I just really and I sent it in and I was like I just am ready for a makeover. I'm like this front of a dumb person and like they didn't pick me. But I mean I was really like oh sure you can chop my hair and like make me look like Jennifer Anderson. I don't fucking

care like I just want to be on TV. It always looks good when they cut like a guy's hair. Yeah. there was a few though I've seen that people have reached from the archives and put on and there was one that was like not good yeah they did this like where they like a day one of yeah they took up her hair and made it like spiky and short and it was like the worst it was like oh I don't know there's been some that were bad but that was a big thing in the talk show world yeah was the makeover and speaking of talk shows so doctor so Dr. Phil there's a one of exposing how awful that show was on e, um, alleged scams and lawsuits and investigation claims. Well, of course, um, what's the girl catch outside?

Yeah. And now her name is bad bunny. No, it's not. Bahad Bahabi. Bad baby. Yeah. She's a Daniel Bogosi.

I believe her real name is. Yes. And, and so anyway, she makes whatever, $68 million a year doing only fans. And I'd like to, I need to see the receipts on that.

Every time I hear those numbers, I'm like, I just don't, I don't believe it. I'm sorry. I know, how come, the funny thing is nobody believes anything anymore, like we were saying, there's might be a conspiracy here. But yet that one, everyone's like, yeah, $68 million, definitely. I'm like, have you seen that girl, that little trolls making $68 million on there? Absolutely not. No way.

I always feel like for that, it's got to be the initial amount, like for the Piper Raquel or whatever he was, she was like a YouTuber kid. Okay. And she basically had like her own I Carly show type of thing, but like on YouTube. And then she went on. And then, you know, and then they were like countdown till Piper turns 18. There's a huge countdown like in Times Square or something. They did the same thing with that girl. Catch me outside.

Yeah. And then with the top square, a bunch of losers waiting. Could you imagine David Coppfield's waiting? Oh. And so anyway, then she did it. But Drake said that she waited like two months after her birthday. And he's like, she really missed like the, I'm like, I don't think she missed it. Like, Drake was one of the guys waiting.

Yeah, I said. I go, did you do it? Yeah. But it was two, she made like two million. But I'm like, okay. So now you're doing, you know, two million and six to eight million. A big difference. But also is it two million just for that month?

Like, are you going to keep those people for the next five years as you, into your 20s gross. Yeah. Nobody wants to see that. Oh, man. And then, like, she was like, there was some, like, article about her, you know, whatever,

collaborating with some other girl. And it's interesting. Like, they're cute girls, but it's like what really does well on those things is truly not the girl next door from the bunny era with the blonde. It's like really kind of like brown hair, not a lot of makeup.

Like, truly those. Those are the girls that like make the most. But is it sexual or are they just talking in their room? No, it's sexual. Oh, it is. Okay. It's definitely like boobs and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I mean, you know, it's a million times better than what our old porn stars had to do. Oh, yeah. Traveling to the valley. Sun Valley. Oh, they're in shats with Peter and I used to get in arguments when we would watch Cinemax because I'd be like, I know that's important. in Porta Ranch. And he'd be like, no, it's not. It's right over here.

I go, no, it's not. That house was there. And that's what we would fight about. Instead of, like, getting all horny, we would try to figure out the real estate. I used to do them. I mean, when I first came to L.A., I did those type of movies.

They never saw the light of day. It was like one weird guy in the Malibu who, like, shot these movies on like a camcorder. But he had 10, 15 actors. We'd all show up. And it would be like a lot of shower scenes. And he would, how much nudity would you do? I did, I just bathing suit, like the men were never nude.

It was always just topless women. Oh, okay. So, and he would rent out hotel rooms. Like, I remember the Malibu Beach Inn, which is still there. Yeah. He would rent the room there and he would always be like, okay, everybody, you're just kids blowing off steam. And that would be as one piece of direction. We would all go, okay.

And then, you know, some girls would take off their tops. And they would be like just showering. Yeah. I remember, yeah. And he would give it like $150 cash. So good. And we were like, at that time, I mean, it might as well give us a million. So every day I would drive back.

Like, let's do it again. I was kind of like obsessed with the whole like adult industry of the late mid 90s. Yeah. Where that's when they were just starting to break into mainstream. Like Charlie Sheen would be dating one of them. Right, right. And it was like, oh my gosh, you know. there was the AVN awards like Tracy Lords Tracy Lords and like the AVN awards would be like

featured in like the tabloids they were on showtime I think and stuff yeah yeah and put them on and you know and you know and they accept their award for like triple anal or whatever it is and you know and it just was like legitimizing it and everything and then those type of those I love those documentaries yeah because the trajectory of those girls are they end up getting out of it, having a kid, Christian. Becoming a realtor. Oh.

And then the crash of 2008, they had to go back to doing the porn. Oh, really? Yeah. No, they said it was easier than setting up open house sites. They said it was safer than sitting on an empty house by themselves. I bet. I bet.

They'd rather do a train and know that there's a paycheck at the end than showing some loser 20 houses who doesn't buy. Oh, that is so fun. Anyway, so with Dr. Phil, it's actually a series on like porn hub or something now. After porn. It's so juicy. I love stuff like that. I'm talking like a real estate porn series.

Oh, that's not selling sunset? No. It's like that's the fantasy. The guy comes and goes, can you sell it? And the girl's like, oh, I really need to sell this house. Next thing. But it's actually so much so that they have a graphic for it. I forget what it's called.

And in the graphic, the chimney is a dick. And it's spewing. sperm I have heard that people have given sexual favors to get the listing. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm sure. But then you got to make sure that the guy actually is going to sell when you bring the offer.

Right. You know, like, where is the commission? But, yeah. And I knew a girl that was in real estate and she was cheating on her husband and she would tell her lovers to meet her at her listings. Oh, really? Yeah, just as like a fuck house or whatever. And then my mom one time, she had a listing and she said, and it was like one of her great like cocktail stories.

Like she totally could have been like a standup or whatever if she exists. I always say that. But she, you know, she said it. Well, it was, she did that. She told the story. She's like, oh, well, I walked in on Elaine with the horse trader. I go, what? And she goes, yeah, I was showing the house.

And, you know, they were very difficult. They mean, but they would let me put a lockbox on it. So I had to go over there every time and open it for the broker. And I walked in the door in the room. And there she was, you know, being mounted, no pun intended by the horse trader. Wow. And I go, what did you do? She goes, well, I continued to show the house.

I said, oh, oh, I'm sorry. But as you can see, this is a beautiful walk-in closet. Excuse me, Elaine. I just want them to see the walk-it. because a lot of models this age of home don't have this walking closet, but this was part of an addition and we do have permits.

And then she'd want... Yeah. And then Elaine was like, oh, please, please, Pam, don't tell my husband. And she goes, I won't. But you're going to take the next offer I bring in. You're not going to be so difficult.

Oh, nice. Yeah. There you go. So anyway, with Dr. Phil, he allegedly, they're saying in the show, which I've not seen, I've just seen little reviews of it, which is things that I heard from Jerry

spring or two. All of them. In the end, they have to, they're producing a show. They want people to be crazy. So they get these people that are struggling that are writing in. Yeah. And you know, this is a time where I think you had to write in a little bit more. So they would actively try to find you to find you too. But now it's like really easy to cast a reality show or something. They always find them on Instagram. They're like, oh, you sound like you have like a hot group of friends. You have a thousand followers. You're rich. You have a private jet. You want to be on a housewife? Like that's how they find these girls. But with this, the people would come. And then, And they said, you know, they'd be, my husband's an alcoholic or whatever, and we need marriage

counseling. And so they'd put him in a room with a bunch of alcohol. Yeah. And leave him in there. Oh, we're going to be back in an hour, you know, whatever. And then they'd bring him out. And he'd be like, I'll tell you right now. You seem drunk.

Yeah. Are you to take this breathalyzer? That's one of the stories they claim. And there was already alcohol in the dressing room. Yeah. And then they give them breathalizer. And it's like, oh, my God, this girl has to like leave him. And then, of course, with Catch Me Outside.

I guess she I mean how could she be mad at Dr. Phil? Oh, I mean, it's all because of that. If she did not go and be on that show. Is she in this documentary? I don't have to see it. Yeah. But I'm like she cannot,

but I saw something where her mother was mad. Oh, yeah. But I think it's probably because the mother, he probably blamed the mother for her being such a badass. I think they were together when it first happened. That's what it was. Yeah. It was her yelling at the mother.

Yeah. And so, of course, they're like, sure, I'll go, you know, now talk about how awfully he is. but he's kind of fallen away. Like he had like some big podcast company or something that doesn't exist anymore. And well, I think, you know, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I saw, you know.

But Oprah made him. Yeah, Oprah made him and Dr. Oz, both of them. Yeah. And people then, yeah, people are like, let's really, let's talk about Oprah's real crimes. Yeah. Yeah. These two. But with him, he was basically like a life coach person.

Yeah. that she found and he coached her through her trial of when she said, I won't, I, I'm never going to eat a hamburger again because they said that there was mad cow disease. Right. In England's needs. And then she's like, and then she said, I will never eat, I won't eat a hamburger. Have you seen Oprah lately?

She's not eating anything. She looks like a mad gal. She, people are dying over her outfit in Paris and how thin she looks at everything. I also want to say I mean I get why people whether they're 70 or whatever are finally

getting a taste of this that they chase their whole life and they just are like I fucking love it I love that every month I can buy a smaller size and I'm not gonna stop I don't think it's

I think once you get to a certain age you shouldn't be so thin because I would think I always thought she just looks a little weak yeah I always thought like as you got older and I don't know that like you you know you don't want to be so fragile like you'll break a bone or whatever but she's just small for her I don't think she's so skinny that

it it's like unhealthy right but now you know then she's like please don't talk about my weight I'm like you are the person that brought out your weight on a little red wagon remember every other couple of years every couple of years it was a new thing that she did yeah and wondered and had weight Watcher. Yeah. And had us all, you know, talking about weight our whole life. So I mean, but let her have, you know, let her have her, I don't know. Did you see Debbie Moore?

Yeah. So a lot of people are concerned about that, that she's way too skinny. She looks real skinny. And, um, she just, she looked good. I mean, like her hair, her face, 63 years old, I think I read. It's just, I just. I just think it's, listen, you're just standing there taking a photo. You're not, so you're not in a movie.

We saw you take a photo. So yes, people are going to comment. I like the dress. She looks great. She looks too skinny. She's aged. That's what people say. And it is awful.

But like, that, you're out there. That's what we're talking about it. But anyway. What about Seacrest? Has anybody talking about that one? He looks very skinny. Well, he too had. disorders when he was a kid.

Yeah. And I think sometimes, you know, you get this like magic pill. And then I don't know. Like if it can be the greatest gift or it can be, I always think, I always think it's going to be like a Flowers for Aldrinan thing. Oh, yeah. Like where he got really smart and then he got dumber. Like, but I don't think so because it's been around long enough.

It's working. I mean, I just think, I just think people just have to, you know, do what's right for them and be careful. but Dr. Phil, they, you know, I guess maybe he was a doctor. What could you just look up Dr. Phil? He is. He is a doctor, I think. Was he like a real psychologist?

Oh, I don't know about that. I really liked a show and I always felt like he did give good advice. It ran for a long time. And I mean, he was under the Oprah umbrella, which was people telling shocking, real people telling shocking stories about their life. Yeah. Whether they were a mom with PTA, but. actually secretly addicted to meth.

Oprah was the first person to show us what hoarding was. Yes. You know, things like that. And so then, so he was under that umbrella. So it's like that that was how the producers were taught to produce. And that's why like after Oprah, like why it was always so interesting to see where they went after. And that was like the only way you could get fame.

We really didn't have like social media. So all of a sudden you would go on the show and your whole neighborhood would now know that your husband's a raging alcoholic. and like your kid, you know, hates you or whatever. All right. So you're watching a little bit of, uh, I watched it. The love story. I watched the last night.

I watched the latest one, the wedding. And then I watched the first one. I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Isn't it the best? I thought it was really, I thought the first one was very good. I'm like, I mean, I'm loving it. I've covered it a lot. So I wanted you to just get a little to get your opinion.

I mean, isn't the John? John like the exact person like he is so good I what I might take away from the first episode yeah you know where they first meet was I just I whole I hope I missed that whole era that whole like hookup club drinking what were you doing New York that what do you know oh you miss it yeah I missed it like you know no no no I miss it you're at the Chris Virgil I know because that's all you did it but I miss it like in today's world I miss it too yeah it was so fun to watch the music and the playing of the games and you can write down your number and hope that he called and then play the rules.

I loved it. I know. Like I want to see a whole movie about that. About that era, that world. Everyone's saying there's that other trend going on like saying to this song going, Mom, what did you? Like it shows like someone like me. And it's like, mom, what were you like in the 90s?

And then the mom like me does a full thirst trap of like 20 different folks. of them being like a model in the 90s. Oh, okay. Yeah. And I want to do that. But then, A, Drake's never going to ask you that because he doesn't want to fucking do the video. Was it edited? Go find all the, and now I have to go through 20 different boxes to find like photos of me. So I'm just saying, you can find what I look at him and I look at the night.

I wrote a book about the 90s. Again, I, one of my manifestations is that my book, you'll never blue ball in this town again, should be a show. Should be a TV show, a movie, something. It's all the good things. It's that era. It's Hollywood. It's everything.

But what concerns me is I'm friends with Carol Radzenwell. And she'd written a book and she was married to his cousin. Yeah. Who then died of cancer right before they died of the plane crash. And there's all these inaccuracies in the movie. Right. But they're plucked from, I think, different books. And then they change it just enough.

Like in the wedding one, she makes everyone wait two hours. Yeah. Because she couldn't get her dress and it had to be sewn on. She's smoking cigarettes in a bathtub or something. Yeah. And I'm like, I could never make someone even wait a minute on my wedding day. I never. So I'm like, that just makes you.

And there's no air conditioning and they're sweating in August. And then Georgia. They had to light the candles. And so apparently that isn't true that she was able to get the dress over her head by just putting like a sheet so her makeup didn't get on it. She did her own makeup and that it was John who couldn't find his shirt. Oh, okay. John couldn't find a shirt and that's what held it up a little bit.

But it wasn't anything like that. And it was like and people could walk right over from where they were staying. On my wedding day, I would never drive an open air Jeep down a, dusty road. I don't think that part's true either. They were all in. So that's fine. You know,

like, but I can see why people that lived it being that it's such a popular thing are getting upset. They did have a John F. Kennedy lookalike contest in this in New York. Yeah. And the guy in the rollerblades won. And it was really cute,

really fun. I love it. I love the clothes. I love the era. I love that people want that. Like Gen Z is missing it. Yeah. Because you can have it.

You just have to go outside the house. I said. I mean, just watching that, like I said, that first episode and seeing her in that club, you know, oh, they're all smoking and they're drinking, you know, and did you hook up with that guy last night? Like, that world is just gone. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I mean, for me at least, you know, maybe they were still doing it and I don't know about it. No, because it's like, because the social media kind of ruined it. And like, you know everybody's like status because you can. see it on social media. So you're like, you know, like you don't wonder, oh, am I his type that you look? Oh, he only likes blondes. Forget it.

You know, you talk yourself out of these things because you can find out too much. And then what she calls that model guy into the cab and they go back to the apartment in the first episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. Oh, yeah.

She has the real model guy. Yeah. Right here. He was, yeah. And they've run up to him and like asked him. Wait, let's see. Oh, I saw that guy. Yeah, he was in, on baseball.

That guy's a pretty big actor for a while. Right. And then she had a couple hot boyfriends, yeah, the Baywatch guy. Yeah. That was very, very good looking. So she was one of those girls. I knew a friend in college that only dated like the hottest guys.

I never wanted the hottest one. If they were too hot, I went out with this one model that I called Mole Man because he had like a mole right here and he was a model at SC. I'm pretty sure he was gay. But whatever. Even that, I felt like you're too good looking for me.

me. Like I like my level one step below. You know what I mean? Like I need to be the hotter of the two. Yeah. And I was always like with somebody really better looking than me was hitting on me. I just felt like it was weird. Like no. But she like she was hot and sexy. And you know what? She was the cover of BU magazine college girls like the calendar. Like the calendars back that at SC2 was like a big thing. Modeling was like everyone wanted to be a model. And everybody wanted to go to model in class. everyone wanted to be a model. She had schools for. Barber's on a school of modeling when I was growing up. It was all about being a model. Yeah.

And even she was on the cover of it. So I'm like, they say how she was like not thirsty and everything. I'm like, yeah, but like she knew she was hot. Like she knew she could be something amazing. But Darrell Hannah wrote an open letter about how annoyed she was by it. because they made, and people did think does Ryan Murphy secretly hate Daryl Hannah?

Oh, they don't make her look good at all. But then the actress that plays her acting so flighty and everything, you haven't seen that episode, but she's, she's like, John, how's your mom? Is she still sick? Yeah. And I made her look just really, like, dumb and flighty. And so she's like, first of all, like, you know,

I don't like how I'm being portrayed. But one of the things that I did think she has a right to be pissed about is there's a scene where he comes home. They've gotten back together. And he's done with Daryl Hannah. He's annoyed with her. And she's got a bunch of models over and she's doing the cocaine party. Cocaine off of like some heirloom or whatever, some kind of airloom.

And she's like, besides that never happening, I've actually never done cocaine in my life. And I've never had like a drug-fueled party. And I never, and, you know, his mother did want to see me, you know, during her death or whatever. and I didn't crash a funeral, which all of that she's saying is true. And she did go to the funeral, and she was not, not invited and all that. So it's weird because it's like,

because these people are still, that they're real, I could see, obviously, you take two public figures like this and you create a scene what they're talking about in bed. Right. But then when you have actual people

that are still walking on this earth, and you do just, like I would be annoyed by that. I've never tried cocaine. And if someone was going to do the Chris Franjola story. Right. And there's a girl, Heather, and it's your Chelsea lately days. And I'm like, so Chris, I'm on the roundtable Wednesday, I would be like, that's how just, that's like, do some other lie about me or not lie.

But there's enough truths about me. You didn't need to do that part. I read her op-ed and I thought it was pretty good. I was like, yeah, I would say so the same thing. I agree. I'm like, yeah, don't be doing that. Like, she's still a legitimate person living in the world. But like, what does he care?

He's got the hottest show ever. Yeah. And I love the way he does stuff. Oh, Ryan Murphy. Yeah. I love, not everything. I don't like the horror stuff. Right.

But I like, you know, the Menendez brothers. And, you know, I just, I get excited for when he does these things that I, like, lived through. Um, and kind of remember it even though it's not totally accurate. You know, you got to make it juicy. But, um, it's, it's so good. and everyone's just like loving it. It's pretty fun. Yeah. Yeah. You know what else I like?

Which is going to sound strange, but I do like when you have to wait a week for the next episode. Me too. I don't like watching it all. I mean, sometimes they do. No, I don't. I have to have something to look forward to. Yeah. I think it's smart the way they do it now.

They do like, give you two. Mm-hmm. And then you got to wait. Yeah. So then you're like in it and you can talk about it and tell people. But once a week, like, yeah, sometimes it's like, you know, It's like only having dessert on Fridays or something. Right.

It's like, save it up. Don't. Okay. Oh, this girl, when I was talking to Carol, I go, I bet you'll be in it. And she is not. And she goes, I'm not, I know I'm not in it because I saw the cast list and there's no name for Carol Radzwell. But at the wedding, someone he spotted that it looked like a young Carol, a brunette girl that

was like sitting next to his cousin who has a race. major part. Yeah. And the guy that plays the cousin, her husband, Carol actually dated him briefly. Oh, really? And then he called her. He's like, I'm going out for the part. Yeah.

As your husband who died. The guy who plays Teddy Kennedy looks a little bit like Peter. He really does. The Teddy and the Ethel, that was so good. Like how Ethel's like, I knew I was never going to be the most beautiful. Yeah. But these men will chew you up and eat you out. And I'm like, it was.

Yeah, the whole stories of the truth, the real, the truth about the Kennedys, not just being womanizers and everything, but the truth of how John, how Joe Kennedy, like, got rich. Oh, yeah. It's great. Do you know that story? I mean, a bunch of different ways. I mean, no, one of the ways was he and his friends got all their money together and,

like, bought all this stock and then, like, drove it up and then sold it and, like, made money, allegedly, whatever. I don't know if that's true. And then from there, it was like, he was like the male, like the person that was talking about it, it was almost like they were like the Kardashians and then he was, but for politics.

So then he was like, okay, if I'm not going to be like the president, you're going to be son number one, but he died in the war. So then it was Jack and then it was Bobby and then it was, and they still even tried to do with Ted Kennedy after he killed the girl in the car.

Right. Left her, took the car, and was drunk and then it went into the lake or whatever the water and then he got out and nobody went to fetch her for like 12 hours yeah and people still voted him in to be senator and still talked about maybe he should be president yeah he had a long political career it's amazing the other part that i thought was fin remember the days where calvin klein was straight remember that for a little while i know and he was married to that girl kelly yeah kelly hansson or so whatever name was, I think, but yeah.

Yeah, that was, I forgot all about those times. Yeah, it, I know, and now he's getting divorced again. Yeah. From his husband, it was 30. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Some model guy that he got. It's a shame.

Do you think it was rude that she didn't have him do her dress? Oh, no, I didn't even think about it. Yeah. But who even knows if that was he? Yeah. He might have not even cared because Kelvin Klein wasn't. doing wedding dresses. So it's like, she probably was like,

they did get a pretty good a net banning look alike though. When I first thought it, I was like, is that a net banning? Yeah. So, yeah, it was pretty good. And then I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yeah, it's just fun.

And then you're like, oh my God, she did wear that outfit. Yeah. You know, but I'm sure it wasn't Carolyn's idea. Like, Carolyn might not even have been there for the meeting. Like, they have to, I get it. I get why Daryl's mad,

but I also get like, we're creating a story here. Right. You know? So, okay, this water polo player, he is at one of the most prestigious schools here in L.A., Harvard, Westlake. And he is being, the school's being sued. I think he's being sued too. Is he Drake getting sued too?

He's the son of a pretty prominent assistant director. Also, it's just like out of a movie because his name is like Landerbeek or something. Like it's like, and anyway, they were water pole players. And this young man who is black has filed a lawsuit against the school. And I believe him saying that he was just bullied every day for the whole four years he's on the water polo team. And he was digitally penetrated all the time in school going up the stairs and everything. And I was like, well, how could you get like your finger like through the shorts and everything while you're walking upstairs? But I think they meant he just like poked him, right?

I don't know. But then they said he was, he, there's another kid who, he actually settled the case where he penetrated another kid with a foreign object. So this, this same guy. Oh, he had to settle another one. Yeah, I had to settle one. God, imagine having that be your problem, your cleanup? Yeah.

Like, that's the new, that's a new show. Remember that show that was like Donovan? What was that? Ray Donovan. Ray Donovan. Yeah. But you're just, you're the Ray Donovan of, of rich kids in L.A. Yeah.

We were just talking about before we came to air. It's like three schools currently here. Viewpoint school, another very prestigious school here. They found out that a teacher, that was like maybe it were for 11 year olds. He'd been taking pictures. Taking photos like, I don't know, underneath their skirts or something. Yeah. So then, and then what was the Sierra Canyon one?

Sierra Canyon was like they were having like a, they had like kissing clubs or whatever. Oh, and the girl. Yeah. That was like a girl on girl. Yeah, and they were being bullied to do it. Yes. At like the 13, 14 year olds or whatever. So yeah, they were being bullied into like kissing clubs.

You know, sometimes I'm like, you know, people always used to be like homeschool kids are weird and, you know, kids need to be around other kids. And I'm like, do they though? Do they? Yeah. All anyone talks about is their childhood trauma or like with their bullied in school or stuff. Right. If you never went to school, if you learned what you needed to learn like in your family or like whatever with their cousins. and then and then come 18 if you want to go to college or not everyone's like an adult and they're

not like fucking mean yeah i don't know do we have to even like i'm just like do we have to go through that like it was awful the funny thing is these are like people pay for these schools 50 50 000 this is my wife went to Harvard westlake to school were there yeah i asked her if she'd ever been penetrated you know by uh anyone she said no the first so we were talking about this last night at a dinner and they're like digital, I've never heard of digital penetration. I didn't even know what that was. Drake thought it was like cyber related.

So did I. Because digital. It's not. And I go, no, your digits, the digits of your fingers. Oh. And so,

yeah, so digital meaning that. And so I remember the first time I heard it because another story about my mom is that she was like reading the LA Times and she's like, oh my God, Dr. Azanio or whatever,

making up a name was, you know, look at this case. And she's like, oh my God, we sold this man a house or whatever. And someone was saying that he digitally penetrated her when he was like when she was asleep getting dentistry done. Oh. And I'm like, and I go, what is digital penetration?

She goes, oh, it means like, you know, his fingers. And she's like, but the one thing about him is I remember he had the shortest, fattest little fingers. I remember him signing the contracts. And she's like, I don't think he could get very. far up there with those little fingers. Yeah. Well, oh my God.

No, but so I mean, I said to that I was going over it with Drake and Drake was in water polo at Calbas. And he goes, I'm like, do you remember anything like this? He goes, I mean, basically when you're playing water pole, you're just trying to drown each other every fucking day. So he's like, that was pretty bad. That is true. It is wild. And it's just such like a skimpy, like you're in these tiny little sweet. limb trunks and like and but you know it's awful when you tell there was another story in riverside

that you know had you know horrible things but they just were awarded 27 million their child actually died from it from the bullying like from a punch to the head or something and they sued riverside county because they were like we told you we told over and over and I'm like I don't know like I just don't know what people are supposed to do right and if you don't have the means to like remove your kid right away or you're like well why should I be the one that has to leave you know or maybe they say in this case the reason they have a case it's because i think they did complain and talk about it and who knows maybe this guy gave so much money you know sometimes that happens there's a conflict between two kids at these private schools and one's got the name on the

on the auditorium and the other one is maybe not even paying full tuition because he's the football player and they're like can you find another place to pay football because we can't get rid of the guy that gives 250 a year you know yeah that's what happens that's what happens Yeah, but we'll see. I'm sure there'll be a big payout for this kid. Travis Kelsey is going to make a decision. He's made the decision. He's coming back. He's going to play another year to the Kansas City Chiefs. He's going to play for the Chiefs again, one more year, at least maybe more. He doesn't said. But yeah. When I heard this, I don't know why, and I'm just telling you guys, just don't

get out of me, but it just, I'm just tired. tired of Travis Chelsea. Like, I'm just like, first of all. Taylor and Travis or the... You don't, first of all, you don't need to play football. You have a podcast, okay? Not everybody. Right.

Everyone can play football. Not everyone can have a podcast, obviously, I'm joking. But like, I'm just like, I just have been like done. I'm done with him and the mother and the brother and the, ugh. You know that song? Like, fuck you and your dad and your mother and your brother. Like, I'm just like, ah. I'm just done with it.

He's done nothing wrong to me. I was so into it. I thought it was so cute two years ago. And his life is not here for me to create content and then get tired over. I get it. But I'm just telling you where I'm coming from. I don't think you, I think you're speaking for a lot of people. I think we're a little Kelsey now at this point.

I think the brother, this girl for the wife of the brother. She's like a huge celebrity now. Why? and then like, and then the mom had to go on the traders. Yeah. Yeah. And so he's going to come back. The thing about it is the chiefs were terrible last year. Right.

So, I mean, maybe the thing is I'm going to see if we can be good again. Like, I don't know why he would want to at this point. It's a lot of work. You just doesn't want to end on a bad note. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, the year of the chiefs. Can you just take a break from the podcast? so I don't have to see a clip on page six, like every three days. Are they still doing their podcast together? I don't know. I feel like maybe I haven't seen it in a while. Yeah, I haven't heard about that one in a while.

No, who knows? Savannah Guthrie is, you know, in New York City. She came by the Today Show last week. She stopped by. When do you think she's going to come back and just be a regular background? I think she's coming back within the next couple of weeks. Oh, really? Yeah, I do.

Yeah. I think that's good. Yeah. I think. what can you do and you've got to like have some normal seat for the for your family that is living and your kids and right and you're you know being on the show and and doing the news sure I think yeah I think that's what she's thinking I mean at this point what are they going to do yeah obviously there's no there's no uh leads and they don't really have anything to go on and then they're just trying to like

you know get an article out of it for a clickbait because unfortunately sadly they found a body body by the, yeah. And they're like, but it wasn't her and it has nothing to do with the case. Okay, we knew that. I think with that, with that one, they were trying to maybe establish some sort of serial killer motive. Maybe. It's in the same neighborhood, another body, maybe that.

Who knows? Now this is weird. Okay. There is this man. William Mick Cassland. He is 68 and he went missing on February 27th. and he went out of the house for a walk and in the area of quail run in New Mexico

and it was a silver alert because he has silver hair. I just thought about it too like everything happened to Peter it would be under a silver alert. But what is weird is in everything I've read, it doesn't appear like he has Alzheimer's or anything.

And he left his phone at home and he went for a walk. But he is like the highest classified person for UFOs. Oh, really? That is what he, all his work was in and what he is known for.

So as the movie that we are all living in of 2026, this is yet another juicy twist. Like, what is this? So who took them? The aliens took them or? Like, I don't know.

I thought we were going to find out about aliens, you know, and Obama just dropped that bombshell and he's just like on some like average podcast. Yeah. It's like literally I feel like he just was like, just get me a podcast today because I have to drop the thing about the aliens being real. Yeah. I know. I mean.

And it kind of, that's how fucked up the world is. It came and went. He was like, no, they really are. And like two days later, nobody cared. We're like, what? Jim Carrey's face is different. You know, like it's just. And everyone was, we still don't know the answer about Jim Carrey.

Yeah. His people said, no, it was him. And then I saw some guy with a picture going, he's sitting next to me. Did you see that picture? He's like, the, the internet. so easy to fool. Here we are in New Zealand is something, making a movie, and Jim Carrey looks totally normal. And people are like, well, maybe that's the fake picture. Right. Who knows? Right. And then, yeah, I have no idea what that whole thing was. It was just another thing. I feel

like he did do something weird, either got someone to be him. Right. Because I mean, I've always been like, haven't you had an event one night and you're like, I wish I could just clone myself to go? Right. And even though he was winning an award, like maybe he really does. did just go, I'm just, I'm going to send out that guy that looks just fucking like me. Right. And I'm going to just see if I don't have to get in a tux and go to this boring ass event and waste six hours of my life. But the only thing that would, yeah, his wife was with him and his daughter was with him.

He has a new wife. A girlfriend, whatever. Okay. You know, she was with him and the daughter was with him in those pictures. And it's really them. So it's just like, well, why would they be in on the, on the joke? Okay. So then it was him, but he, what, did some weird, like, white chicks kind of prosthetics so that people would talk and he would trick us?

Yeah, who knows? Because why is it that he looks normal now again? Oh, we don't know. We don't know if he looks normal again. Yeah. Because he didn't do a video and he does not holding up a newspaper. Yeah. I mean, now we really need people to do that.

Yeah, hold up the, but now you can't find a newspaper. So good luck. Forget about it. Yeah. Oh, my God. last thing is Kai Trump you know went to Airwant

because she was visiting California oh I saw that and she has a big social media and of course whatever anybody does anything fun whether or anything no matter what president when Obama go to Hawaii people would get that's what our tax dollars are paying for you know golf whatever so this one

they didn't like that she went to Airwan and of course she just did it like I can't believe this story is so expensive I'm going to get all this stuff and try it out so I can get my views because Air One videos do well. And I just, what I took from this is like, this is kind of sad. Like people used to come to L.A. to walk the Hollywood, walk of fame,

or see the Hollywood sign or go to Universal Studios. Now they're like, can we just go to the Airwant in Calabas? And get the Hallie Beaver $32 smoothie or whatever? Yeah, I know. That has like, what does it have? Like, Colostomede? Barry or something. Colostomy? I hope not. God, I hope not. What's that word? Not collagen as something else.

Colestri. Yeah. And so, I've had it. It's not bad. What does it taste like? It tastes like strawberry. It's like a strawberry shake. Okay. Because I, I cannot bring myself to spend the money on anything at Airwan. And I have gone and just got like a lunch item. And I feel like, well, if you go get like their sushi or something out the door it's going to cost you as much as if you went to a sushi restaurant and it is good the food is I like their stuff but to actually like do

grocery shopping no I don't think anyone does their like real soup to nuts grocery shopping there I think people go in for certain items I think people do that are like like their chefs do yeah so imagine you're paying for a chef and they're getting all the most expensive stuff Right.

Just for you to shit it out. I mean, my gosh. In like four hours. Yeah. Yeah. Like I just, I'm like to eat and I like, I'm a foodie too. But sometimes I'm just like. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I just can't. Right. You know, I was at a store the other day. I was at the greens. What is that called? The green, sweet green salad. Yeah.

And you go through it. And I really do like their salads. And like my inner monolog. is, you know, we get to the avocado part. And I'm like, I do want an avocado. Absolutely. But I'm still like, too much? What?

Too expensive. I just can't, I can't. And so I'm talking about it. And Drake goes, oh, I always get the avocado. I'm like, why the fuck is my kid getting avocado? And I'm not. Not even thinking twice about it. Not even thinking twice about it.

And I'm like, that is where I'm like, God, I could die tomorrow. Yeah, I would definitely, I think, I think you're an avocado. So I went. You're worth an avocado. Okay, so I went. And I was like, yeah, I want the premium top. Like, I was just like, I don't fucking burn it to the ground. Yeah.

I'm like, I hope there's no money left for you at 30. Okay. So then I go get this. And then I was like really thirsty. And I like the drinks, you know. But I like to get a small at Kava because Kava lets you do the drink yourself. So I get a drink yourself. So I get a drink and I suck it down.

You order sweet cream and then go get a drink. No, but I like how Kava has the drink where you can go yourself and fill it. Okay. So they give you a cup. Right. And I always get a small. Gotcha. I fill it.

I do like all of different flavors. That's the one. Like the machine where you can press the flavors. Lavin your lemonade. Then I suck it down. Gotcha. And eat my salad. And then I go and fill it up.

So I feel like I got two drinks out of it. Yeah. But also. So you take it on like on. Also a ton of calories, a huge waste of calories. But I just have to. Okay. So at the sweet greens, I see they have the exciting drinks.

So then I go, okay, yeah. Let me, and I'm like, just do a little jolt of each one. Have fun with it. You know, like she's a mixologist, right? But I can't go fill it up after it because they learned. Yeah. Sweet green should probably talk to someone at Kava and they're like, you got to stop. Keep an eye on her.

Yeah. And so I'm like 20. And then with the tip. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now they give you the choice of 20, 22 or 25%. I know, it starts at 20. And I'm like, well, now, you know, she might, I don't know what this girl listens to.

I don't know if she knows me. She did, like, wink at me and she gave me some almonds. Oh. Like, she, I don't think she charged me for the almonds. Still, the whole fucking thing was like $24 for just me by myself. And I'm like. Shocking. So the next week.

Everything I do, everything I go, everywhere I go now, I'm shocked. And so then I went to Trader Joe's. And I got all of the stuff. And I made my own chicken salad every day. Good for you. And with all the things. Yeah. The beats, the goat cheese.

I just got it all. And. Want me to tell you what drives me nuts? What? I like that soda machine too, where you get to pick and choose. You want a sprite with lemon in it? Yeah. You want to sprite with cream soda or whatever.

The Coke one, yeah. Yeah. So I get like a relatively big one, popcorn or whatever. Then I have the... Oh, at the movies. Yeah, the movies. Yeah. Going into the movies, okay?

I have the big soda. You're the one. I have the big popcorn. I know. I'm the only one. And I go like first showing like 10 a.m. Me and one other old guy. And then it drives me nuts that there's still a fucking person ripping the ticket.

After all these years, there's still one old lady saying they're going, you're in theater seven and rips the ticket. But I'm, my hands are full. I can't get my ticket. It tries, and I want to say, I don't want to. Oh, so you're the only waiting and you're like, I don't know what to do. And there's no place to put anything because she's standing there. And I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

Yeah. Like, just trust me. I'm, I paid. I'm not ripping you people off. Like, is that what happened? You had to put everything down. I have to go put it on the floor. Get my ticket out and then pick it back up.

It drives me insane. I'm like, we need to, I don't want to put anyone out of a job. Right. We need to get rid of that ticket ripper woman. once and for all. Yeah. Or have more help somewhere else. Or put a fucking little table there.

I could put everything down. It just... Well, is that because of the hopping? I mean, you could always hop. It just happened. It just happened. Right. I mean, from movie to movie.

Yeah, you could always hop movie to movie. Nobody's doing that anymore. I know. He's going to the movies. I could just let people in. I know. What are you doing? This place is empty.

Even the fancy movie theater kind of went downhill. We went out of business to one I think, yeah, one of them. Mine is still over there. Yeah. But I'm like, am I going to this movie to watch the movie or because I can drink? Yeah. Because I'm always like, come on, we can get a cocktail. I still love the movies.

Anytime I see a movie in the theater, it's better than when I watch it at home. It is totally better because you're not looking at your phone and you actually are experiencing it with somebody else versus everyone being in their own room, watching their own movie on their TV, but then also watching their phone. I mean, last night watching the love story about the Kennedy. I had to Google like wait, who is she married to? Which Kennedy was that? You know, like, Rose was married to who?

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, I'm half paying attention as I'm Googling. Yeah, makes it so fun. And who, yeah. Anyway. Anyway, Chris, such a delight. Such a delight. Thank you.

So funny, just the best. Thank you. Tell the juicy scupers. Oh, my God. Where they can go see you. See me live and take free pictures with me. Well, next week, next week, the 19, 20th, 21st of March, I'm at rooster tea feathers up there in Sunnyvale, California, right up there,

right up the coast. They're not calling it just roosters. So we don't have to embarrass ourselves. All the comedians have to say rooster tea feathers. They're just calling a rooster. It's a great club. It's been there forever. I love it.

Are you driving there? I'm driving up, yeah. Well, anytime I can drive, I drive. Yeah. Then I'm coming. I haven't been in a million years to Toronto. I'm coming to Toronto. Ooh, international star.

Helium Buffalo, April 15th. Comedy at the Carlson up in. Rochester, New York, the 17th. And then I got back to Long Island, governors May 1st and 2nd, Nashville Zanies, May 29th and 30th, and on and on. And the governor's in Long Island.

Governors on Long Island. They have Brokridge Comedy Club and Belmore, Long Island. My people. My people, Long Beach. I know. Long Beach, Long Island. Charlie McAvoy.

I keep seeing these videos, like of the teachers in Long Island. Yeah. And the mother talking, like with that accent. I'm like, oh my God, those are my people. Yeah, she's the best. The Long Beach, right? Yeah, Long Beach. Yeah, it was so fun that they, that he won and how great it was.

Oh, my God, that was so exciting. It was so exciting. Yeah. And then, you know, then of course, then we had a big shit saying on it. I said, everything in this world we live in. Everything, no matter how fun shit is, it lasts two days. And then somebody will fuck it up on TikTok. or whatever. Well, actually, the reality, and like, I'll forget it. We all had fun for five minutes.

For five minutes. And I was like, you know, my cousins, his sister, they all played hockey too. Yeah. And so it's like, they all were so, you know, supportive about the women and all that stuff. Right. And then, and then they're like, no, we're going to go to be with, um, with the clock guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Flav a flave. Flavor. And then they're like, oh, you're going to go see flavor, flavor. Well, you know, he has a record too for assaulting women. Well, so does our president. We're all right.

They just don't come. Everybody assaulting everybody up in here. I was always thinking, what about the couple girls that maybe wanted to go? And they're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. We can't. I know. I feel so bad for like athletes these things.

We're born in this era. We didn't choose this world. This is when we're born. This is when we won the championship. Right. And, you know, so they invite you to the White House. What can I tell you? Yeah.

I'm not saying I agree or disagree with what goes on. But when are you going to have that? You may never have that chance again. Right. And it's just like, yeah, well, let me see it. You know, like, whatever. Oh my gosh. Well, if the world is still happening, go see Chris.

All those places I just mentioned. And we'll be together in L.A. and May. I know. I'm pretty excited about it. As a matter of fact, I met a couple when I was in Pittsburgh or Raleigh where I just was. And they said they're coming to that. They were like very excited to come to it. It sold out right away.

it is officially like sold out. I think there's literally like two single tickets. Is it May night? May 9th, Saturday night at the Avalon Theater. And it's going to be a juicy scoop live juicy scoop. So it's going to have comedy and we're going to have so much fun. It's going to be so juicy and fun. And I'm thrilled.

And everything for me is that Heather McDolland. Dot net come see me in Salt Lake City coming up in a couple weeks. Wise guys. The 21st. Wise guys, two shows a night. I'm excited. to shoot the shit and then let me make you laugh people. And that's it.

Thank you, Chris. Thank you very much. Cover to cover. Cover to cover. I have a podcast, everyone. Come over and listen to that. We have some fun over there. And make sure you also follow Chris because he gives good Instagram stories and real.

I mean, sometimes I forget. I'm like I haven't done that in like three days. And then I don't feel like them. Yeah. I'm trying. You don't know. Sometimes it's just the most random thing that then like everyone like attaches to. I know.

Okay. I know. Yeah. And then you got to get cute to do it. You know, you can't just do it. Well, that's why I just did one where I said, because I wanted to talk about something. And then I was like, oh, God, I got to like, if I get cute, nobody watches. But if I have to do something, like I have to eat.

Oh, I saw that one. We were eating a salad. And so then everybody's like, oh, everyone loved that one. So they want, they're telling me all the other things I have to do the next story. Yeah, I heard you got to put like lipstick on or something. Lipstick. I have to do the thing. I have to do the tapping of the thing.

Yeah. Yeah. to do a little of that and um there's a couple oh i have to cry yeah there's a lot of cry a lot of comedians are crying lately seeing a lot of comedians crying i always just think it's so crazy that like and i i have been guilty of it i did have one time where i was like crying about something and i was like i should film myself right turn on the camera yeah just in case it's good yeah but you know you If you're scrolling and you see something that you fall and you know and all of a sudden they're mid tears, you are kind of intrigued to be like, what are you crying about?

Someone die. And that's why then that gets going. Oh, gotcha. Because you're like, what are you crying about? Fooling people. A lot of car I need to get in the car. Everyone does it in the car, which is, you know. I'm always like, are you really in line to pick up your kid right now?

Yeah. Like. Maybe that's what Britney Spears was doing. It's all over the road doing a TikTok. Right. Yeah, she's just dancing. She was just dancing. Love you, Chris.

Thank you. Bye. Love you back. Gay guys, lesbians, and straight adjacent women. This is your call to action. Are you a bottomless pit? Are you a bottom? Do you have wide feet?

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