Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola on Candace Owens, Late Night TV and JLo

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Chris Franjola is here! We discuss Candace Owens and the French President and his wife suing her. Late night TV is dead and we know why. We also cover cheating husbands who date young, pretty people of yesteryear, JLo, and sex on a plane in row 11. So funny, so juicy, Enjoy! • Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to ⁠https://zocdoc.com/juicy⁠  to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today! • Right now, Boulevard is offering new customers 10% off your first year subscription when you go to  https://joinblvd.com/juicyscoop and book a demo.  • Click this link https://bit.ly/3HDwJKc to start your free trial with Wix  Stand Up Tickets and info: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://heathermcdonald.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://juicyscoopshop.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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O'Henry, O'Henry. Heather McDonald has got the Juicest Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicest Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales, her real life Mr. Sagan, cereal data and cereal sister. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. What a treat this is. Back from Montauk, daddy of the century, blue-eyed former model turned comedian, husband of the year, my comedy life partner, Chris Frangiello. Welcome to the new home studio office. Thank you for coming out.

I love it. Thank you so much for having me in this gorgeous, you did it. I mean, you finally did it. This is everything you've ever wanted is, um, there's gates. There's everything, there's lakes, there's gates. It's in some sort of mountain enclave that you wouldn't even know is here. I mean, it is- I'm so glad you love it.

It looks like, you know, where they used to film Desperate Housewives, like on Universal Studios. You feel like you're on that set of like, what was it, Wisteria Lane. Yes, it does. That's what I thought when I first came in here. I was like, is this real? This looks like a utopia.

It's been here for, you know, like 30 plus years. But all the houses are different. So it doesn't have like a, what do you call it? Track home feel. Yeah, no, it looks nice. I love it. It's just like every day I wake up and you know, just sometimes regardless when you've been in a place

for so long, which I was in my house for so long, for 19 years and I'd lived there. That block your whole life. And I lived next door for 19 years. Yeah. You know, basically. Yeah. When I was growing up with just like a 10 year break in between of like apartments in Brentwood.

And so yeah, I just, it's great to have like a fresh kind of vibe and different places to go. Do you feel a pressure here? Because you got to keep up the yard and stuff. Like you can't, in my world we call it the Schlegels because every neighborhood has one. I don't think this neighborhood does, but most neighborhoods have a Schlegels and you know what I'm talking about. The Christmas lights are up in July. There's a workout bench on the front

lawn. There's the indoor furniture is outdoor. You know, like it's a couch. What's the difference? Put it out You know, like it's a couch. What's the difference? Put it out on the front lawn and sit in it. So I don't think you could do that here, but you can in most places. You can, which is nice because, you know, with in LA, you know, there was always a risk that, you know, a house that was nice, that, you know, an older lady lived. Yeah. Then her degenerate, weird, 55-year-old son lives there and then you're screwed. Like you're screwed. There's nothing you can do. And so I do like being in a gay community for that reason. But yeah, we might be the Schlegels or whatever.

Yeah, you guys might be the Schlegels. Because we are doing some yard work in our backyard, but it was like that when we bought it. So no, there's still some stuff to be done. But so far, no, everybody's super nice and chill. It's not what you would think. It's not a snobby anything. You've got to be concerned.

This is one of those areas where you've got the amount of Christmas blowups. You know what I mean? Like, can you even do a blow up on the front lawn here? I would not. You can't do 20. They would frown upon that. This is the kind of place where the company comes and like, we'll do it for you. Yeah, I know. But yeah, okay. That's good. So like, if I really wanted to have like a Christmas party, I thought about it and there's

no way I would, Peter's probably not going to allow it, but I do have Drake and Peter. So if I want Christmas decorations, they can get up on the roof and do it. You can't put a blow up Charlie Brown on the front. No blow up Charlie Brown. It's got to be like white lights. Yeah maybe one of like a restoration hardware like deer that's slightly like not moving but just like lit up. Right. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well congratulations. I'm going to invite you right now. I'm sure you're gonna have other Halloween plans, but if you don't, this is a fun place for trick-or-treating. Oh, that would be great. With a give out, like, you know, shots and margaritas

and you can actually go and like party while your kid parties and then you get another golf cart and you go to another. Yeah. Enough with the bragging. I bet it's really nice. I'm just saying, I've worked hard, just whatever. I'm not gonna, I'm happy.

I'm living a, I'm living the life that someone lives in middle America. Do you ever say? It's literally my house. Do you ever say to yourself, which I do sometimes too, because we're doing okay as well, but do you ever say to yourself, all this from this dumb podcast?

You know what I mean? Like in the end, it's not exactly, you know, you're like, oh really? I mean, congratulations, but good for you. Well, I think that's why hundreds and hundreds of people every day would start one. And I say go for it too. But it is a certain type of person that excels and it's being consistent, but it's also just a unique talent that you just don't run out of stuff to talk about. And a lot of people just get burnt out. But let's get into someone that is kept talking. Can I just say

one more thing and then we'll move on to topics. But thank you for calling me father of the year. I just dropped my daughter off and she's at a camp at her school. And it's dress up. I thought today was dress up day. They were supposed to dress up as a private investigators, like cause they're looking for clues for something to have a party on Friday. Somebody stole the ice cream and they got to find, with Epstein didn't kill himself. They got to find the, they got to investigate. Okay. Okay. I love it. So I had to dress her up like a private investigator or you know, like a whatever,

a detective. So I went to Target yesterday and I bought like a white button up shirt, a black tie and the black sunglet. I don't know, detective. I looked it up and it gave me like men in black look. It's a five year old detective. Okay, go on. Yeah.

But I also put her in shorts because it's hot out. You know, I put her in black wool pants. So, I mean, she kind of looked a little bit like the guy from ACDC, just black shorts and a tie. Or like a Mormon missionary. Okay. Anyway, we get there and she's already apprehensive to put it on.

Okay. She's a little weird about putting on a costume. She's like, is everyone gonna be dressed up? I'm like, everyone's dressing up. Okay, I like, weird about putting on a costume. She's like, is everyone gonna be dressed up? I'm like, everyone's dressing up. Okay, I kinda like that, that she's like, enough with this, yeah. And so we get there, and it's tomorrow,

and she's the only one dressed like a detective. So she gets out dressed like Angus Young from ACDC. And I was like, oh no. But anyway, the counselors were so nice that they were like, oh, you're the great little detective. And she seemed to have, she had a badge on. It was going all out. I think that's great.

Yeah. Anyway. So not exactly fun. Yeah, she knows what she's going to wear tomorrow. And I think she's young enough to like not care. But if she was like 12, she'd want to kill you. Oh, she'd want to kill me. Yeah.

When I was a little girl at five years old, I was like so desperate to get any attention from my mom, you know, because she was busy with the others, that one day she was like making eggs or something, and I go, oh, we're saving those, I need to bring in those egg shells for an art project. I just made it up. Whoa.

So then she was constantly like, okay, I've saved all your eggs, you know? And so then I go to the school and I take, then I have the eggshells and she's like, I hope you, you know, like she felt good about herself and I threw the eggs away because I just made up this weird thing. So then later that day, something happened where I accidentally threw something else away or something. And so my mom goes to the school and they're like going through the trash and

she's like, why are my, the cracked eggs here? Like you said, you had an art project. And the teacher was like, what? Like who is this kid? Then on top of it, my brother had a boa constrictor snake. He had several snakes. And my mom would say, well, he was a competitor. They were really big into swimming. So my mom would say, if you get under this amount of time in the 400 IM or whatever, you can have a snake. So now he had several snakes. And like once a week that he would sell tickets to the kids in the neighborhood to watch,

my mom would go buy a little white mouse and we'd watch the thing eat the mouse. Oh my God. And then you just see it in the snake like its body. Yeah. And so then they're like, oh, who wants to do show and tell? And I'm like, oh, I'll bring my brother with the snake. And so my brother puts this giant snake

around a five-year-old's neck. Everyone's just watching it. Other kids are trying it out. And then this woman was like, that snake could like, Yeah, strangle these kids. Your brother wasn't like a professional snake wrangler. He was like, it wasn't that guy. What's his name? Bindi's dad. Erwin, Steve Erwin. Yeah. Oh my God. That's amazing.

And so finally my mom's like, I can't take it. So she acted like it got escaped. Okay. And she let it out far into the backyard through the gate of someone, whatever. And two weeks later, it showed up in the sliding glass door. You know the old sliding glass door? The snake came back? The snake came back. I've never heard that. I heard dogs and cats, you hear those stories. Yeah, no, the snake came back. Never the snake. Wow. Childhood stories. Okay, listen.

Candice Owen. Yes, I know the story well. She is being sued by the president of France and his wife. She, we talked about this, she went hardcore in a whole YouTube series about all the evidence leading to why she believes that the much older wife of the president of France, already it was a crazy story. She was his teacher when she was- They knew each other.

Yeah. She was his teacher when he was 14 and she was 36 or something. She was married with three kids. He went off to high college, came back, and then they fell in love allegedly before nothing happened prior. And so she's like 70 and he's like 48. But according to Candace Owen, she believes that he, that she, the wife actually was born male. I have not watched the series. I don't know how she explains how this woman gave birth, the whole thing. Did it have children?

But she also in the theory said this woman had children with her first. She was probably too old to have children with him when they got here. So it was like, I don't know, it's the whole thing. But what I gathered was that she also, the other explosive stuff, is that she is not only, was not only born a man, but she is the president's father. What? Somehow, when she was a man, allegedly according to Kandisow, she somehow, you know, impregnated somebody,

gave birth, whatever, became a woman, had adopted kids, I don't know, and then got with her biological son who's the president of France. But she's his father. Yes. It's like out of Star Wars. Yeah, this is like, wait, this is the plot of The Empire Strikes Back. Anyway, a lot of people, you know, there's a lot of things on the internet that will

show her walking and it looks like there's something in her pocket. I've seen it. And then of course the slap in the plane brought a lot of attention to them. The slap in the plane, again, a father gets mad at their son. Anyway, they are not having it and they are suing her, which is a big deal because it's like kind of the first time like a, it's not the first time because there was that other content creator that I think Cardi B sued and prevailed because she said, you know, negative things about her that weren't true.

There's been a few people who sued for it. So I saw Candice is addressing it. She already has 1.8 million views talking about what she's gonna do. I don't know, I think someone like her, I think she's probably not scared at all and thrilled. She just lawyers up and I guess fights it. Lawyers up and I guess just fights it.

I don't know. But I mean, I would think the fact that they are suing makes me because once you're suing, then everything comes out. Will come out. Well, that was all. Now I'm like, yeah, I never believed it to start, but now I really don't. What I've heard was there was always seemingly a cover up by the French government because they would ask for

let's see her paperwork, you know, whatever birth certificate, and they were like, no, you don't need to see it. That's what I've heard. I don't know that much about French politics. I mean, definitely just the fact that then, you know, she was his teacher and they knew each other and, you know, and they've been together for 20 years and, you know, he was 24 and she was like 48 when they met is unusual. Yeah. And, you know, but then, you know, Francis, the age of consent is younger than 18. Yeah. And, you know, so I don't know.

It is kind of like, I would, it would almost be like one of those things, just ignore it. But I guess they've decided to, because now you're right, it doesn't produce a lot more attention to their relationship. Okay, but just ignore it unless it's not true. I know, but even-

If someone tried to say, Heather McDonald, which a lot of people do, you look like a man, why are you tall, you're so ugly, whatever. If someone tried to say to me that I never gave birth to Brandon and Drake, that I actually was a man and I got these kids like through a sex trafficked ring

where I got these two kids, one just looks exactly like me, whatever. And it went on and on and this person was exploding with it and making millions and millions and millions of dollars talking about something that I know is not true. Like I know I was born a girl, like I know it then why wouldn't you just go no? I'm suing you. But it also is now going to bring a lot of attention to an odd relationship just age-wise and things like that which is I guess.

But I mean an age gap happens a lot with the other way around. And I always think when there is that age gap and you've been together for 10, 20 years, it's like, okay, this isn't a gold digger situation. It's a father-son situation. And they're meant to be together. And he pissed off his dad. Now, I don't know. Yeah. It's strange. I mean, he was probably trying to talk her down, you know, like, I don't know. Yeah. It's strange.

I mean, he was probably trying to talk her down, you know? Like, I don't know if we need to do this. Don't get your dick in a knot, you know? Stop it. I just remember the weirdest thing. You know Will Forte? Will Forte's on SNL. Last man on earth.

Like, he's so funny and clever. So we were at the Groundlings Sunday show together and he just had this like very out of the box comedy going on. So now this is like 1997 and he goes, hey, would you, calls me up, he's like, would you wear a bikini on stage? And I was like, okay, why, what's the sketch?

I was so desperate to be in anything, you know, as many sketches you could be in. And he wrote this sketch where like two boys are like hanging out and I come in and I'm wearing like normal clothes and they're like, the guy's like, who's that? And he goes, that's my dad. But I'm just like a girl. This is like 30 years ago. And then I come out and I'm like in a bikini and they're like, your dad's hot.

And he's like, don't talk about my dad. Like it was the weird, we put this on state and it was just like, and it wasn't even about, it was like, I was like, what's the joke of this? Do they really think that I'm like a trans or was it just his bizarre mind? It's just weird. What I think I just thought how weird that is. That's just like Brody Jenner's wedding. Yeah.

Which just happened. I know you have the picture. Let me talk about it. It's just like Brody Jenner's wedding. Yeah. Which just happened. I know you have a picture. Let me talk about it. So Brody Jenner, who is the most gorgeous man on earth

and has the most beautiful wife, prettiest dress, and they have like a little two-year-old girl, and she's a professional surfer, and she like surfs with the baby, like on a surfboard. Oh, yeah. It's like crazy. And so there's a People magazine covered it, and his mom, Linda Thompson Linda Thompson was there and so was

Caitlin. And Caitlin wore a white like T-length dress, you know, mid calf sandals and a brown belt. And the picture went, you know, a lot of people and I didn't even, I forgot and people like you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding unless you're told it's a white and black wedding or wear all white everyone's wearing white which is a rare thing but sometimes that happens but I mean I just don't think I just don't think it even occurred to her at all and why would she know because you know it's not like she was raised knowing you don't want to upstage the bride.

Yeah. Right, of course. I mean, it looks great on her. You know, we have to say that, right? I always thought it was what was interesting. And you know, I'm friendly with Caitlin and I felt very bad. When was the last time you've seen Caitlin? I saw Caitlin a year and a half ago and I haven't talked about this on the main show, but this part is really sad. So her partner who was the manager, it was Never Romantic, died. I know.

That was very sad. Very sad. Probably 24 years old or something. Just 29. Sophia. Twenty-nine and it was just- Wasn't she on this podcast? She was on the podcast.

They belong here at the club, and we had plans to hang out. So I was very, very upset about it. It was just a weird freak accident. She was on the ATV and went in front of this, I maybe got impatient, tried to go, what I understand, tried to pass a car, and it clipped her bumper,

and then she went down a huge light cliff. There was no, so it was very, very, very sad. But what was I saying? Oh, so that's how that, yeah. So, I mean, but I'm just saying like, I think sometimes that you just don't hear about it and I think the day arrived, but I always remember, and I asked Caitlin this too,

or maybe I asked Sophia when they were on the show, Brody Jenner was engaged and I think had a marriage that wasn't legal but like whatever in Tahiti or something to another girl named Caitlin. Oh yeah. I think I remember. And they were together for like five years and then, you know, Caitlin chose her name Caitlin and I remember I said, did you ever think about the fact that if Brody married Caitlin, that there'd be two Caitlyn Jenner's? And she was like, no.

She's like, oh, I never thought of that. So I'm just like, I just don't think she's thinking about, I think she opened her closet that day and was like, oh, it's a hot day. This is a nice dress. I'm comfortable in it. And you're not supposed to wear white to the wedding. But I had someone wear white to my wedding. And I didn't even notice it until my manager's wife

said something the next day. Who was it? Tracey Ross. Oh, really? Tracey Ellis Ross. Yeah. But it was like a blazer. It was like a blouse.

It was like a dress with a blazer. And maybe the blazer was white. I a blouse. It was like a dress with like a blazer. And maybe the blazer was white. I don't know. It didn't bother me. I think unless you're wearing a wedding dress. I mean, that's still a rule, or is it still one of those ones that's a little looser now? A lot of people are like, it's not really a rule,

and who cares? I wore red to a wedding, and someone was writing mean stuff under me saying, you're not supposed to wear red to a wedding. Red to a wedding means that you've slept with a groom. What? I never heard that. I've heard it just like for picture wise,

it might throw it off, you know. Red? Yeah. Well, now I'll never wear it again after that, but it was like a black tie wedding in Vegas and I was like, this is my best dress. I'm just gonna wear this. But yes, so I think unless you're wearing a bridal dress, a similar,

like a long satin white dress that looks like you could be the bride, then I think that's an asshole move. But I'm going to forgive her. I'm glad it was a nice day for them. This Apple, the Apple heir, the heir to the Apple money, Eve Jobs. Yeah. God, she's having a big wedding. Is Steve Jobs the one who was married to the Apple money, Eve Jobs. Yeah. God, she's having a big wedding. Is Steve Jobs the one who was married to the McKinsey girl? Who are the three rich people?

Okay, there's- Bill Gates was married to- Okay, there's Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. So is Steve Jobs still married to his wife? He's dead, Steve Jobs is dead. Oh, sorry. Yeah, he died a long time ago. Yeah.

Hello, I'm Kelly Mantle and my new podcast, The Kelly Mantle Show is available now Yeah. but I always end up where I'm supposed to be, just like your Aunt Siri. So make sure to like and comment and subscribe and continue to share the love for our community and follow The Kelly Mantle Show. Managing multiple business locations shouldn't require three different platforms, five different logins, and a spreadsheet that only one person knows how to use.

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Okay, this is the craziest story. Oh, I know it. It happened on Long Island. My people. These are my people. Why don't you explain the story then? Okay, this man went to an MRI, which I guess is one of those things where you go inside and it checks your full scans your body. So it's not a lay down thing.

It is a lay down thing. I believe it is. Okay, because I read this article like four times. I don't understand. Okay, so it's a lay down thing. It's a lay down thing and your body goes through and it scans it for different elements or whatever. And this man, it was like, it said it was a 25 pound necklace and it got stuck in the mechanism of this MRI machine and sucked him in and apparently choked him to death. Okay. This is what I don't understand about the story. So he went in there because his wife had a knee issue and she was being checked up at the MRI. And then he walks in and then his whole body gets sucked in because of the

necklace. I don't understand this. I think he was leaning over to the machine or something, looking at it. That's what I gathered. It's hard to... And nobody said like, Hey... Careful with that 25 pound necklace. I mean, it's just such a bizarre story. I'm like, I'm just imagining, like the way you said you sucked in. I'm like, wait, was he? Because I'm like, first I thought he's getting the MRI.

Well, clearly you take off everything. Right. But no, he was just helping. Probably there was a lock on the necklace too I had read. And the lock got stuck in the thing that wielded it, it wheeled you in. And it's like a diamond gold, like a big wrapper necklace. Right, right. They said it was 25 pounds.

That's a lot. It's a big necklace. What if that would like affect your neck? Well, I think it is. I think. It is. On J-Lo. What do you think's going on with JLo?

Why not? Just go live your life. She looks great. I mean, she's out there talking. I read this story. She was getting very sexual on stage saying she likes it rough. She likes it hard. Yeah, likes it hard. And likes it in the summertime. I still feel she's in love with Ben Affleck and is so pissed. And I think she has every right to be pissed. He came after her the second time around. He wooed her, loved her, you know, agreed to the big fancy wedding. He already knew what he was getting.

I'm kind of glad that she at this point is like, I'm done. We've done five weddings or four, whatever it is. And I'm done with marriage. I'm done with weddings. How do we know she's done with marriage? I think she said it publicly that she's finished with marriage at this point. 55, already has the kids with Mark Anthony. Right. Doesn't need that anymore. No, she doesn't want anymore kids.

And at this point, like, what am I doing? Just enjoy your life. The body is ridiculous. Yeah. The body is so good. The abs are so good. So I saw Meg Megan Kelly ripping on her and she's like, you know, Tina Turner was sexy at her age and she would wear a dress but and show off her legs, but that would be it. And I'm like, you know what, Megan?

I think you're jealous of the abs. First of all, her best asset is her abs and her ass. Yeah. First of all, her best asset is her abs and her ass. Right. And maybe Tina's was her legs. Who cares? Right. Who cares? Like let her wear what she wants.

But the singing that I've seen is a little... What? Have you ever been like... I honestly, we all know, like JLo had hits. Yeah. But it's certainly nothing that, you know, they're not like classic songs that you'd listen to 30 years later and you know what I mean? When they come on, I still like them.

Enough what you say, enough what you go, that song like, you know. I remember she had a couple with uh... Jenny from the Block. Jenny from the Block. Yeah. And yeah, she had a couple with uh, you know, what was the guy who was, who did the rapper guy who did the festival where they ripped everyone off and gave him cheese sandwiches. Fire festival.

Yeah. The guy who was in charge of that, he had some songs with her. Oh. He was the headliner. Oh, yes. Yeah. It'll come to me. It's one of the-

Yes. But anyway, people are highlighting her doing her best singing. Some of the notes sound- Ja Rule. Thank you. Ja Rule. It came to me. I knew it would come to me. Jaw rule. Yeah. Jaw rule is always at like a charity event. Yeah. And he did a couple songs with her. They were good. I mean, you know, who cares?

I mean, but like the acting at this point, I think is kind of like she can't be... I don't think she could do like legitimate roles anymore. Now she just got to do romantic comedies from here on out. I don't think anyone's gonna buy her in serious roles. Well, she was in a movie called Shotgun Wedding and I'm like, Shotgun Wedding? I did not see it, so don't get mad at me, but Shotgun Wedding means you had to get married because you're pregnant.

And I'm like, when the movie came out, even if she filmed it, 250. I believe this was the movie that the one kid was supposed to, the, the, uh, no, I can't, it is another name. I can't remember. Uh, the one who was cannibalizing or at least in, in text, he was supposed to be the star. Oh my God. Army hammer. And then they got, talk about like, nobody cares about that. I know. He's back to like-

That was another one that just there were those certain stories that just went crazy for a much longer time because we were in COVID. Yeah. Yeah, that was one of them. And that was one of them. Also, the whole Tiger King obsession. If that was not, if that did not hit the moment it did, would we have really cared that much? No, absolutely not.

We were all into that. Yeah, that was a, it's such a weird time looking back on it. It brought us together. It did, yeah, Tiger King was one. And I was doing the weird lady. We all had fun with the Tiger King. And I had my cat at the time. I said I did like the videos

and I rode the bike around and like the hair. I don't even know where they are. I don't even care. Tiger King's in prison. They got divorced from the struggle. I don't know. This talent agency is alleged to have stolen millions from his clients. This is kind of juicy. This guy, Mark Measures, is the owner and president of KMR talent agency.

Can I tell you something? It's my agency. I was like... Yes. I'm with KMR. I was. They're gone now. They're defunct. No. I'm with KMO. I was. They're gone now. They're defunct.

No, he said they're not defunct. Well, he's trying to bring it back, but they've been. Do you remember him? Yes, biggest scumbag in the world. Wait, so tell me your story. Well, I mean, I never dealt with him because I was with the comedy portion. So I dealt with my agent still to this day, Stu.

But yeah, he was stealing money. They're kind of a big Broadway agency. They have a lot of Broadway actors and stuff. So yeah, but he was apparently taking money from a lot of people, like millions. And they would like call up like, where's my check? Right. And finally, it started to really, I mean, this guy was real. Everything you think about when you think of like Hollywood agent, just a stereotype, he was that guy.

This says he has been accused of stealing over 1.8 million from clients and employees in New York, Broadway, yeah, between June 21 and March 24. Authorities alleged that the funds were taken from a client escrow account and used for personal expenses, operating costs, and luxury purchases. Measures was indicated on 40 accounts and so, you know, prosecutors recommending a four to 12-year prison sentence. Yeah. And the agency itself was disbarred, you know, from being an agency by whatever the agency who oversees these things. And So when he goes to prison, you know, and they put like little prison plays together,

I hope he gets to cast it. He gets to cast it, yeah. The one thing I remember is, I think I actually only had to go to the agency like twice, you know, the actual building. And they used to tell this guy would call you beforehand and tell you not to wear any colognes or perfumes because someone was definitely allergic in the office,

which I always thought was a weird phone call to get. I got that, I remember getting that too. Yeah. And about like a, or like a casting director or whatever and I'm like, all right, I'm just never gonna wear like any perfume at all. I know, yeah, so that was it. Anyway, there you go.

Well, yeah, cause it's like an escrow cat. So I always think it's weird when it's like, and they take it for their own luxury. Right. Like, oh, okay. You just think your client's gonna get another Broadway hit? And also, I always wonder how much money

the Broadway people make. That's like always a weird thing because they don't make a ton. So he was taking like small sums from lots of people. That's what I had readily. And I remember my initial meeting. Just when you thought Hollywood was like not on its way of dying enough.

I remember my initial meeting with this guy was like after like my career was on a, it was going south in a hurry after Chelsea Lately, nothing was happening. It was bad. So I finally got a call from an agency. I'm like, oh my God, how'd they find me? And I went into meet him.

It was like somewhere in North Hollywood. Even the address was like, oh great. And I went up to meet him. And he gave me the whole bullshit that they give you. You could be the next. I'm like, oh, cut it out. I've already been through this shit already. Can we not?

Can we just sign the deal and move on? I don't need all the people I could be. Here's what we're going to do with you. I had an agent saying, I think you could be the next Ellen DeGeneres. I had a woman tell me one time, she't, you're the next Brian Austin Green. Look at you, you're the next Brian Austin Green. I'm like, what? Of all the people, Brian Austin Green?

Can't we aim higher than that? Okay, so somebody said in the comments or whatever was like, this was just showed up and I feel like you and Chris, this could happen to you, so I said it to you. And it's this YouTube video of how to buy like a VHS tape on how to properly model. So they wanted you to like buy a tape and it is so ridiculous that girl, they're like,

let's do a modeling face. First, A, I, O, U. I mean, of course you remember all this stuff, right? Like these different things. First, A, I, O, U. I mean, of course you remember all this stuff, right? Like these different things. Yeah, and then it's just like these people are like, this is how you look like a natural fitness model. And then it was like, act like you're walking. Like there was all these tips on like how,

there was something, what was it like from our era? It was, everybody wanted to be a model. When I was growing up, there was a commercial that would air constantly, Barbizon School of Modeling. Oh, yeah. And I remember the catch line, their catchphrase used to be, whether you want to be a model or just look like one. That's a good catchphrase.

You would go to the Barbizon School of Modeling. And people, I mean, they must have been, people must have been going because this commercial aired for years. I will tell you where the Neiman Marcus is right now at the Topanga Mall. Okay. That bottom, like the bottom part of it was the John Roberts modeling school that my mom paid for Shannon and I to go to. And you know, some old lady that has no business like trying to do it.

So they want to like get you in the school like a Scientology. So like the first one is just like how to do accessories. You never put gold and silver together, which still sticks in my mind, which you can do today, whatever. White shoes after, no white shoes after Labor Day. Tell them, she should have told, Kaylin should have went there. Kaylin had no idea. Who know? I didn't know. Yeah, Kaylin was definitely not going to the modeling class in a suit. And then it was like etiquette and laying. But one of the things was getting in and out of a car.

Oh my God. And so if you're in the car, it's like you're supposed to swing your legs around, then get up. You're never supposed to do one leg. Yeah. And I always remember when all those girls got caught with their crotch. I'm like, well, swing your legs around, then get up. You're never supposed to do one leg. Yeah. And I always remember when all those girls got caught with their crotch. I'm like, well, they didn't go to the genre of prog. Probably because they were already making money

and working with a legit thing. And then like this one richer girl, she went the whole way, which includes getting the modeling photos. So then she had like the black and white photos where then you'd bring them the long strips where you choose. And you know, and I remember thinking you're like five, four and kind of fat. You're not, you're not going to back then. Genetically you have to be a certain one.

They only wanted a certain type, but she had like her hair and I was like, and I was just so jealous, but to do that, it was so expensive that my mom was like, no, we're not doing the headshot thing. And I was like, but how will anybody- You had the height. You could have. How will anyone find- Yeah.

But then one day I did go and did a go-see all over LA. Right. Because my cousin was a legit model and at our family reunion, she goes, just take some regular photos, like go to the one hour photo and then just go on a Monday and go to all these places and just see if someone wants to represent you. And so I went and a lot of them just turned me on the spot. Two said, let's, okay, let me see you walk.

But no, nobody, nobody wanted me. You should do it now. I mean, you go through you walk. But no, nobody wanted me. You should do it now. I mean, you go through Target and everyone's like, the models have like empathy on their face. I know, there was a time when you had to like have bone structure and like have and look good and you couldn't go and buy filler to give yourself a jaw or cheekbones or teeth or whatever. So it's like that's why Pamela Anderson was so special because there was no one else that could even try to look like her.

Anyway, okay, moving on. By the way, that video you sent me, Denise Richards is in it a lot. Oh yeah. Yeah. And the funny thing was I remember like in the days of Blockbuster video, I remember seeing that video in Blockbuster videos. Denise Richards had a model or whatever, VHS tape. Yeah, she's the one who's telling you about it. And also Tiffany Amber Cease and Mario Lopez made a little appearance. They're both in it too, talking about their modeling days.

Okay. Now, Chris has been gone a long time because you were in Montauk. And how was it in general? It's been, you know, I love it out there. I might have aged out a little bit just on weekends, like on a Friday and Saturday, we'd go to like places and wow. Do you feel like the whole influencer world of 20s and early 30s have just made these places, whether it's Meekinose or Italy or it's. Yes, it's kind of thing. It's always. Shocking. And they all want to be. We just want those photos.

I don't see it here so much as I do. Like when I go to a place like the Hamptons or Montauk, where I'm not kidding, it's almost like a joke. You're driving down the street and there are people everywhere. They're doing like a dance number. They got a camera on the car and the car's going slow and they're like walking back. I mean, it's like everyone's choreographing a scene. My brother who does nothing about this world, he's like, what the fuck is happening here? I'm like, this is all influencer people doing their videos everywhere. The whole city of Montauk was like only on like

Friday and Saturday, regular days, you know, Wednesday it's nice. But on a Friday or Saturday, it's just crazy. Like with influencers or whatever they considered. I don't know. And are there any straight guys there? Yeah. I mean, as far as I don't know, I'm in bed at 10 o'clock, you know what I mean? So I'm not the best guy to ask, but I have a six-year-old. I think that I came across, across another video of a bride surprising her grooms,

just talking about weddings, with a dance, a solo dance. And I said it to like every single one of my sorority sisters that I'm friends with, cause I was like, this is just, do you imagine if, what if I invited you guys to be bridesmaids and I was like, and we are also gonna do a full routine, we have to meet, you know, practice. Like I understand it's cause for the views,

but like, does anybody want that? Like who? Absolutely not. I'm already these, you know, this is why millennials don't own homes. I'm sorry. It's like, what are you talking about? You had to go on like four bachelorette parties. You have to rent a whole house in Scottsdale. You have to get all the accessories and the cowboy hats and all this, that costs thousands of dollars. Then you've got to hire a choreographer and get together and take dance lessons. And I mean, I'm just like, this is ridiculous.

Like my bachelorette party was, we went to Shannon's house, stayed there for free, two girls got in a drunken fight, one slut got lost. We all talked about it on the way home. Perfect. And that's the end of it. Yeah, that's it. The whole weekend probably cost $56 each person. We went to one dinner and got in and some drinks were bought for us. That's it. Like what is happening? This is so stupid. And it's so, and also I'm always thinking like,

why, how awkward for a groom and everybody to have like his wife like do like a lap dance for him. Like the grandparents are there and she's like grinding on him and everyone's like, woo! Just when you think it's over, then another song starts and they're like. I'm like, God, everyone just wants to have a drink

and like talk. Like I hate anything. Are you still doing that? I feel like that's, is it, is it going away a little bit? I hope. Cause a couple of years ago you were seeing a ton of them. Yes. Oh, I just saw this other guy walk down the aisle.

It was the groom's entrance and he was like, like saying a song. This is my name. I'm Jean, to the ER or whatever. And it's like, he was talking over a song, but he didn't practice. So it wasn't even like a good talking. I guess people will just feel like,

like they're prom is their Oscar night. This is that big night. And then their wedding is like even a bigger thing. Right. So I guess- Cause they're not famous or anything. So they're like, this is- Yeah, and then they're like,

if we could do a dance routine, to that Chris Brown song. Da da da. Right. Da da da da. That song. You know? That's the one everybody does.

I guess they feel like it'll be worth it. We'll get a million views and we'll make $12 on TikTok. I know. This will all be worth the 12 hours a week that we practice this thing. And yeah, speaking of which, let's talk about and just like that because two weeks ago, the writers did the laziest thing. They did an entire karaoke episode. And I've talked about it. I need to know your opinion of the season. Just go off.

Okay. Well, I caught up because we spoke and you said watch it. So I watched the last three episodes, I believe. And this is going to sound, maybe I shouldn't, here goes. Go. There's no wrong answer here at Jesus Scoop. Because I'm old. We're all old. Everybody gets old. Go. There's no wrong answer here at Jesus School. Because I'm old. We're all old.

Everybody gets old. Yes. But I don't feel I need to see Evan Handler fucking ever again. Like I'm done. I'm done. Charlotte's husband who's suffering from prostate cancer. Yeah, Charlotte's husband. I don't need to see him.

I don't need to see old people having sex anymore. Even John Corbett, who's an attractive, like him lying there next to Sarah Jessica Parker. Like the whole thing, like it's just from one old couple to the, I'm old, we're all old. And God bless all of us who are still out there knocking it around from time to time. But I don't need to watch it. I think that they're okay. So I've talked about that I cracked the code and I'm almost sad that I cracked the code because the code is what are these writers doing? What are they thinking? What's their motivation? Unfortunately, I found the podcast and now I know their motivation and it kind of takes

the fun out of the frustration. Can you tell me what it is? Yes, there are English teachers that think they're funny. That's who I feel like I'm listening to. Sixty year old English teachers that taught at my all girl high school and I somehow got caught in the faculty room where they're kind of hippie-ish and they're wearing Birkenstocks and they're smoking and they think they're hilarious and they're talking about their lives.

That's what it is. And it is like they literally talk about, oh, and then the motivation and then they're always laughing so hard and funny things that aren't funny. Oh my god the the comedy bits are so painful and I know there used to be comedy elements in the first uh in you know there really wasn't it was more juicy yeah but now you were never dying laughing the whole Mario Cantone bakery thing that I'm supposed to laugh at I guess because they got big dicks or something I mean mean it's painful. But, and the other thing is like, we all know what New York looks like. We all know the way New York works.

If you've been there on vacation or you live there, whatever, like the whole look, it looks so fake. That bakery looks fake, their uniforms look fake. Nothing looks authentic. We know that place doesn't exist in real life. It's just all, it's all dumb. That's the only way to, like I watch it and I'm like, this is so dumb.

We miss Shadeeus so much. Oh God. Because that was- See, we all, we didn't know what we had till it was gone. That was cringey and crazy, but it's funny now. I know. Like if you go back, because it was so 2021 or two. Like it was so, and now that feels like

a decade ago. Like, I can't believe we talked like this and did this. And the podcast was like, hello, and I'm your queer, non-binary, Irish, Mexican, cis-gendered, polyamorous, and to my left is a boring gender, cis-gendered, caring, and heterosexual, deviant. What's his name? Who was our Asian friend? What's his name? What is his name?

Oh yeah, yeah. Wait, Bobby Lee? Bobby Lee. Yeah, okay. And I'm like, oh my God, now I know these writers, and they were just probably like, oh, let's do a podcast. Like, listen. And then it's just, yeah. Well, probably he was in it. I totally forgot that. What happened to him?

His character, his character, they just, yeah, none of those, she does not, she's obviously doesn't keep in touch with friends. So yeah, he's gone. The other part of it, I think is fun to say is because Samantha did not come back and she did not come back and she's not coming back, they just introduced these other characters that they're forcing down off throats of whether we like it or not.

That you are going to like this Indian woman and this black editor, you're gonna like them if it kills us. You're gonna like them. And they're doing full plot lines around them. And we just don't care. We don't care. This is what the podcast is like.

And then we see Sima and I mean talk about the comedic time. This is the way to talk on the podcast. Talk about the comedic time. I love these two together, Sima and the Gardener. They have such a hot chemistry. Oh, this is the podcast like after the show tells you to watch after the show. Yeah, the writers talking about it. Yeah.

And they're like, Ed, but then we get to the hilarious part that Suzanne and I, one of the other writers, we actually got dinner one night and we looked over and we saw a woman actually putting on a deodorant and we said, this has got to go in the show. This has got to go in the show. And there's so many things that we that don't go in the show, but this we were like, absolutely. And so I'm watching it with Drake and he goes, and then the whole thing is that Seema finds out, so the whole storyline is about deodorant and Seema finds out that the gardener who was like raised hippie, whose mom changed his last name to Karma, so funny, that he doesn't use deodorant, he uses a crystal rock or something. And she's

like, well, deodorant is my thing. It's my thing. And he's like, yeah, when I licked your armpit the other night, I tasted like magnesium or something. And she's like, I don't know if I could date you if you don't wear deodorant. And Drake, my son, goes, from the woman who smokes like four packs of cigarettes a day. Yeah, yeah, right. Oh my God, you're right. You don't even think about stuff like that. You're literally smoking real cigarettes and you look like you smoke cigarettes. I'm like, what? And everyone hates Aidan. Now, granted, maybe they don't want to reveal too much, but I am hoping, now I'm bummed that I listened because I was hoping before I started to listen to their motivation, that

he was doing a long revenge. If Samantha was there and Kerry admit each other, he slept with his ex-wife, his kid is weird, we have to wait five years, all that stuff. Samantha would be like, oh honey, he's getting you back for when you fucked big behind his back. This is a 20 year long revenge, get out honey. Like a friend would be like, have you ever thought,

what is the student's motivation? Why is he fucking around? And now it's like, no, but when you listen to the podcast, it's like, oh, he's jealous of the professor downstairs with his pipe. Yeah. Now, I don't, there's not even enough to hate. It's so boring.

It's just, yeah. The other thing is they have to get, in most, in a lot of the cases, they have to get older actors. Yeah. You know, who've, and most of them, some of them you have not seen before. And there's a reason because they're probably bad actors. Yeah.

And just like that weird guy who came into like, I don't know, it was the last episode, he was the new, the boyfriend of Aidan's new ex-wife. Right. And for some reason, he just came, appeared, and it was kind of like an odd... I think it's their friends who need their health insurance. That could very well be. It's the writer's friends who need their health insurance and they're like, well, if we just find you something. Yeah. And as long as you have this many lines in this many days, then you can make your minimum

and get your prostate checked. Like I just can't. It's so... Okay, wait. Wait, you were just talking about something about... Oh, God. Oh, so when we're watching it, because now I make Drake watch it with me, okay? Because he comes up with the funniest thing. But anyway, I said, remember God, she's gonna end up on the bed with the naked girl in the art exhibit. That's the whole point of the vertigo. And I go, now Drake, we're gonna go and listen to this podcast and they're gonna say that was their motivation.

And it was. Wow. That's why they came up with the vertigo. Yeah. And they said, well, I've had vertigo and our friends have had vertigo, but millennials don't believe that it's real. So we said we have to put vertigo in it. And then we thought how delicious that she falls on this naked woman who's doing this art installation. And I was just like, well, going back to the sex thing, the original show showed a lot of sex. Yeah.

But there's also 25 years ago. But you're right. It's 25 years ago. Yeah. The storylines kind of make sense. People do get sick. You do get worried. You do have things that go wrong with you.

It is weird. I mean, I thought the most realistic thing was that Aiden has a fucked up kid. I thought that is realistic. She doesn't have kids. And she should be like, thank you for saving me. She almost moved those three monsters into her big house. Remember, she wanted a bed for each of them. So he like saved her when he's like, yeah,

this is why we just need to get this kid off to college or the army or whatever. And then in the last one, he goes, oh, he doesn't want, he now is living with his mom. And she's standing there like, oh, I'm thinking you're not like, oh, the mom that you just fucked last weekend. Like, remember he said he cheated on her.

And then he goes, then she's like, and he goes, I don't know, I don't know, what did I do wrong? And I'm like, okay, from the kid's perspective, you didn't give him his ADHD at all medicine. You made him paint a house that didn't need to be painted. You, you know. Made him play a board game that he didn't want to,

and then he broke the windows. I was just like, I'm kind of half watching because I'm like not into it. So I walk in and out of the room. With the apples to apples, I'm like, that scene I was, I'm like, listen, we played with the kids. And I knew I could tell when one of my kids was getting upset,

no one's picking his apples. And so you're supposed to close your eyes. And I used to like look and then I would pick his. Oh, that was nice. To save us from getting a window cracked. Get your window trashed. I'm like, why did they do that? Anyway, there's nothing more to say.

How much longer can it go? Like, can it go five more seasons? Like, I feel like it's... It's definitely gonna go two more because I think it is getting the ratings. I know, I think it is. Because we're still talking about it. I just saw something. But it's a niche.

Like, a lot of people like Heather are not... It's like the number one show on HBO, Max, whatever it's called now. Yeah, so it's doing well. Yeah. There's too many other characters. And when they had all the singing, I'm like, it was such a lazy writing thing. Karaoke singing, I'm like, shut up.

Okay, what do you think about Stephen Colbert? Well, I mean. He got canceled. And what do you think about that? I mean, it depends on which side of the, listen. I think it's just that, I do think it wasn't making money. I do think the shows sometimes just cannot... These are very, very, very expensive shows. And if you're getting the views of like a podcast and you've got 65 people working on it, loading in a live

audience is super expensive. 220 people work on the show. You remember at Chelsea Lely, how many people we had working on the show? We had a ton of people. We had a giant staff of people. And when you have a live audience, that's a whole nother expense. You have to fill it. You have to do the safety.

You have to, you know, it's not like watch what happens where it's a very small audience of like 20 people. Yeah. Politically or whatever you want to consider, because there's a lot of different reasons why this may have happened. However, it was going to happen eventually. The landscape of television is changing rapidly.

The fact that these shows are honestly even still on is remarkable. The only reason they are is probably because he has a longer contract or whatever the case may be. The fact that they're even still an hour is beyond me. I don't know how that's even like make them a half hour. And so he's gone and it's going to be Jimmy Kimmel and Fallon next

just for the reason that people don't watch TV. Having a big celebrity come and look pretty at for seven minutes. It's like when we've already seen them on every other podcast, they have their own podcast, we watch them on Instagram. It used to be a big deal to have like, you know, Johnny Carson or Jay Leno have Madonna on. Oh, she only does three shows a year, if that. And the other weird thing is there's people don't make movies the way they used to so they don't have anything to promote. No.

Jennifer Anderson is not making three movies a year anymore so you don't, she's got nothing to talk about. So you're not going to have Jennifer Anderson. Well I do, I do. I am dating the greatest guy. He is a hypnotist. We went to Mallorca. What's that about?

We went with my friend, Jason Bateman. Oh, I call him JJ. He is the best. And yeah, like who cares? I know. And then, like you said, you could see them on Theo Von or whatever for an hour and a half. Right, if that's who you're excited about.

And why would you watch them play ping pong for seven minutes with Jimmy Fallon? You know what I mean? Like that was all cute 10 years ago. It's just not, we're not that world anymore. Right, and so when we were watching Hacks this last season and then she gets her goal of having the late night show. And at the end of the season, which that show's coming back,

she gives it up because she doesn't wanna fire her head writer who was the other girl, Hannah. And, or her name's Ava though in the show. Anyway, she doesn't want to hire her right-hand girl. So she's like, forget it, I'm gone. And I hope next season of Hacks, they show her going, this just wasn't, this isn't my dream anymore. Like, you know, someone saying, what's your dream?

Like, well, my dream was, I always thought I'd be a mom in a sitcom. I always thought one day that'll happen. That's what I imagined. That's what I wanted, you know? Right. And now I'm like, sure, if you want to hand it to me, I wouldn't say no. But it's just not like the way. So I'm like, so it'd be interesting to see now that she's 70, her being like, it is too much work. I don't want to do it.

What do I want to do? Like in the next season of Hacks or whatever, but the thing about a woman doing late night, which I don't know why people haven't talked more about this, it's not because the world hates women. It's not because the world doesn't think women are funny. It's because comedy is subjective. You watch who you're attracted to.

I used to stay up late to watch Joan Rivers whenever she was there for the week or two doing it. I was like- Johnny Carson. I would go to my dad's office, say I had a project and I'd just watch. I loved it because I saw someone that I could relate to. However, women go to bed earlier. Right.

So if you're going to do it late, and the reason I think Chelsea was successful, it was not your typical late night. It didn't go on, I think the latest it went was 11. Yeah. Sometimes 10, 30, depending on when you'd want, you know, but I feel like it was 11, not 11, 30, I know, like on our coast. We started out at 11, 30, we moved to 11.

We moved to 11, it wasn't that late, it was only a half hour. Right. And it was, you know, on a more female eccentric channel. So I'm like, yeah, the people staying up late to watch this and not really watch it in real time, who are they? And so that's why I'm like, that's why I don't think it's a woman. Right.

Why are they saying that? Well, you know, people are always like, why are people against? No, there's been times when it's like there was times when, you know, women were up to replace, you know, Colbert or whatever. Or the Daily Show and stuff like that. Yeah, Jon Stewart. Who is the singing English guy that wasn't gay? Gordon, James Gordon.

James Gordon. Yeah. So like, you know, who is going to do that? It's the same thing. It's just like, and you know, and it's, it's hard because yeah, do I think like a Nikki Glaser could do something? Sure, sure. But again, if the women are going to watch it, women have kids, women go to bed earlier, like we just are not like night owls.

And also Nikki, like they're not doing them anymore. TV, network, television will be over in five years. It just will. It's just not going to be... The only thing keeping it around now is sports. And once that goes to Netflix or whoever, it's over. And then sometimes I'm like, just today when I was doing my makeup thinking about this topic, I was like, oh my gosh, you know, this is best be hard for all these executives and all these people. And then I'm like, Heather, have any of these people thought what you were doing when they weren't hiring you?

Did anybody care when they dumped you as an agent? Did anybody wonder, oh, should I give Heather a part so that she could keep her insurance? No, no one gave a fuck about me. So why the fuck do I feel sorry for these people that have been handed everything, had it super easy, were fucking lazy, were dicks, decided, oh, you know, Heather was rude to me.

Did I tell the story of why I was like blackballed by somebody recently that I found out? I don't know, you didn't tell me. This is a mother story, I'll tell you this story, just kidding. Because I remembered it and I don't know if I've told it on the show and if I did, sorry it'll take two minutes.

Okay, I had this publicist and it was right around the Chelsea, ending with Chelsea lately where I was up for like talk shows, the talk and whatever, hoping to get new ones, okay? And I was up for something and the guy was trying to get it for me. And he goes, do you know so and so, some woman's name? And I go, no. And he goes, well, yeah, she's cast a lot of these things

and she is not a fan of yours. Yeah. And I go, okay. And he goes, well, it's because of what you did at this place. And I go, what are you talking about? So I belonged to the club Braebar, which is very close to you.

Braebar, sure, right by my house, yeah. And that was like our first country club and it was like a country club. You can just sign up and do it. It was very nice, golf, tennis, whatever, and pool. And so I would go with the kids. They had a diving board and everything. The kids would swim.

But they didn't have like pool service where the guy would like take your order. You had to go down, or maybe there was construction. I had to go down, order it, come back, and then get the food for the kids. And I was there by myself and I had the three kids and I went down and ordered it and then I went down to get it. And I had left three kids by themselves. And one was Brandon and he was probably at an age where he could kind of swim,

but he could also die. Okay. So like, and I literally have like McKinsey in charge. Okay. And like, and so I just was like, so I remember the day. So I go down and I see my food like behind the girl and the desk, cause she's having people come sit in the restaurant and I'm not supposed to really be down there in bathing suit, but I know what it's supposed to do. So I come down and I'm like, and there's some people around and I'm just like, hi, I'm like, sorry. I'm, I'm though that's my food. Can I just get my food that's right there before my kid drowns? And whatever I did, and maybe I was a little more,

maybe I cut in line, maybe I, whatever. That woman knew who I was. Okay. And I had was- She was there, the woman was there. And she thought I was a rude bitch. And therefore I was not gonna be on these shows. And I'm like, here I literally was a single mom that day.

Just, you know, that's why I'm always like, God, sometimes a little bit of fame doesn't give me the right to ever like, be nervous or misbehave or not take a photo or what. And I'm like, I go, well, I can't replace that day, but at least my kid isn't dead. I don't know what to tell you. So I'm like, no, when I see this stuff,

I'm like, good, fuck you. I've never been on Kobera, I've never been on Thelon, I've never been on Kimmel. I was pitched for all that shit when I had books and specials come out. And the only ones that I was on was Jay Leno because he loved our show and would have us come on sometimes.

Like agents and managers and all that stuff that now are kind of going away because of there's just not the work out there anymore. I'm like, oh, fuck them. They never, I never had anybody who was on my side or anything like that. Everything I got outside of like, you know, Chelsea Handler, but outside of that, I kind of made my own way, you know?

Right. And even that, I reached out to Chelsea and said, I heard you're doing this show, can I send you some samples? Me too. Like even that was not someone trying to get me the part. Yeah. And when I got my first show, Laris's Lounge, they wouldn't see me.

And then after they were in production, Alison Faust called me and it's like, they got rid of the white girl. And I said, well, my friend is funnier than her. So can you come in? And then when I got in, I told my agent and they're like, oh yeah, they wouldn't see you. Well, that's great that you got the part,

now I'll take my 20% or whatever. So I'm like, yeah. So I still feel bad for people, but I don't. I don't. I remember the first thing I got with Chelsea before I was working on another show called the Chelsea Handlers Show before Chelsea. And the two people who produced it,

these two guys, I don't know what became of them, they, for whatever reason, they were not fans. Of you. Yeah, of me. And they were like, I don't know. They probably felt threatened or something. Yeah, they were like, I don't think about it. And I remember her just going, fuck off. He's the guy, that's it.

I don't give a fuck if you guys quit tomorrow. And I was like, wow, she, I mean, she was like the one person who would like respond immediately to like texts and stuff. That's how I got the part. Because they wanted to give it to, I'm just gonna say they wanted to give it to Sue Murphy. And she goes, no, I want Heather.

And then when they got another budget or more money, or they got rid of some other guy that was weird, and then the producer at the time said, we're gonna bring on Sue Murphy now. And then Sue Murphy stayed the whole time, which was great. But like, yeah, you know what, I mean, it was great. She didn't pick the typical people.

And so whenever people say there's no women in Lee, I'm like, she was really the only one that really had a show for many, many years and shared the stage with people. That's the difference too. The whole format was different. The other thing that it was not to get into this too deep, but we were, I was writing something recently on my Facebook page for my podcast where I was saying, I just, I constantly hear these bro podcasters and stuff all talking about how edgy they are.

And I'm like, I don't know, I feel like we, on Chelsea Lately, you, me, Chelsea, all of us, we did all of this shit 12 years ago on like network television. Totally. Like stuff that was just shocking looking back on it. And we all thought it was funny. And people, I think the audience did as well.

And now you hear these people like, oh, I can't believe you said that. And they were high-fiving each other because they did a tarantula. We were doing that shit 12 years. Before you people did anything, we did everything. I really feel that to be true. Some of the characters you played and I played.

I did it. and you know what, I'm not gonna apologize for it because the truth is, and Sarah Silverman said this and she's like, comedy changes. Yeah, absolutely. So what was funny and acceptable 15 years ago, maybe not is now, or maybe it will be again in five. It is what it is.

But it's also because we get a couple of tweets, but the way that we could read all the comments now and everything. And so yeah, when someone says like, you offended me or I was hurt by that, I am always like, oh my gosh, that does bother me. It does upset me too. I'm like, I didn't mean to hurt someone's feelings or you know. I don't think anybody like, I don't think any of us go into it to try and hurt people's feelings, but sometimes it happens just, you know, as a-

Well, I mean, I did an update on Tuesday about the Idaho murderer. And in doing it, I mispronounced one of the victim's names. It's Kaylee. And I think I said Callie. And you're right, that sucks. Like I'm really sorry. Like I was doing 20 topics by myself, and I was more about the message that her family said

that I thought was amazing. And I miss, you know, and then the other girl, I think I called her Zena instead of Zana. And in another episode. And then it's Ethan and Maddie, I know I'm right about those. And like, I'm sorry, I don't have 55 people working on the Juicy Scoop show.

I don't have little cards, I don't have a teleprompter, I don't have a seven minute interview. And you really don't do a ton of editing or anything. That's kind of in there. I know, I know. I'm like, literally it comes this, we're recording this the day before and it's like, no. But I get it. You can tell me and you can be pissed about it and whatever.

Jojo Siwa, full straight relationship. Straight, went back again. Back, full boyfriend with her. And talking about it like, I love Dick and you know, like wild. Remember she was like, first of all, gay as fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe one of the exes. And then, but I think that's great

because the whole thing is you're young and you're fluid. And I predicted that this would be the first generation where people might have their first relationship be same sex before they settle on a more long-term relationship where they're like, no, I actually am with the opposite sex. Right. In our day, we went to prom with the gay guy from theater.

And we knew it. I didn't. How dare you? We knew it. Whatever. And then later on, they came. So everyone had to hide it, not be themselves. But now it's like, well,, whatever. And then later on they came, you know, so everyone had to hide it, like not be themselves. But now it's like, well, I guess, you know, who cares?

Like, but what did you think of her video? Oh, Betty Davis eyes. She's got better day. The stars are more devoted. But you like, why? I mean, she's kind of a cookie. It's not that basically the girl that's saying that song and just a scratchy voice. True. But she was she's kind of a kooky gal. She did pick a song that basically the girl that sang that song in just a scratchy of a voice. True, but she was able to kind of handle it. But then how crazy that the same week that her song came out and just like that, the gardener sang that song

to Sema. You've got Betty Davis eye. She had a patch on her eye. I was like, wow, the universe. Kim Karnes is raking it in right now. Yeah, she didn't like, wow, the universe. Works in mysterious ways. Kim Carr is raking it in right now. Yeah, she didn't like it. Yeah, she didn't like it. I'm like, cares. But then she wore like an old Betty boop. I think she is so cute, JoJo.

JoJo, I think she just has a cute as fuck a little face. And I think she's a hard worker and, you know, but now I feel like- Wasn't she on like an English show with Mickey Rourke for a little bit? That was the big brother. That's where she fell in love with this straight guy. That's how it happened, yeah.

And dumped her girlfriend. Right. And yeah, I think we're gonna see like different things like that. Christie Brinkley, this popped up. Her book has come out. She has a memoir that came out April 29th. And this article popped up again

and it was when she talked about the time that she found out that her fourth husband, Peter Cook, she has sailor with. So she was at the Hamptons, she was giving a speech or something at a high school or something like that. And her son Jack was from her third, okay, so she had a first husband who, man. Billy Joel.

No, she had a husband before Billy Joel. And I think, I want to say the first husband died, like he was like a- A skiing accident or something, right? There was a skiing accident was number three. Something happened with the first one. Then she had Billy Joel and she said he was a full-blown alcoholic and cheated on her. Imagine that short, ugly thing, cheating on Christie Brinkley. How dare you? He's Long Island royalty. I just watched his documentary on HBO, it's amazing. I'm sure, but like I just am like... And he was such a raging alcoholic. She said one time,

the worst was he ate all an entire thing of spaghetti all himself. And then he yelled at his family for eating a spaghetti and threw them out of the Hamptons house. And they're like, you ate it, Billy. And that, that, that, that is not in scenes from an Italian restaurant. You ate all the spaghetti. Yeah. And then remember he had that wife, that cute girl that got all, she suddenly was like the Meghan Markle of her time. She got to be Kate or something. She got to do all the Today Show. She knew how to put together Hampton Spread. Everyone was inviting her to everything.

Katie Lee. Katie Lee Joel. She dumped him, moved on. Now he has some other wife. But he's been together for a while. He got kids and everything. Katie Lee, Katie Lee Joel. She dumped him, moved on. Now he has some other wife. But he's been together for a while. He got kids and everything. He's settled. The latest one he has kids with? The latest one.

Yeah, I got two kids. So, Christie Brinkley meets this guy's architect. Finally, she's got a cute guy that's her age. Hamptons royalty, Peter Cook. Oh, he's Hamptons royalty. Oh yeah, he was. So she's at this high school or doing an award ceremony

and this father taps her on the shoulder and is like, your husband is having sex with my daughter and she's 18 and I'm a Hampton's cop. And she was like, and it was this girl that they knew that was like his little like high school, like his little intern for the summer. She wanted to be an architect. I remember that story was just so shocking.

And she's like, it's such a cliche that like your husband cheats with you, you as a younger woman, but to be so young. Yeah. Like anything, if you're like a 45 year old dad and you date anything, I think anything younger than 30 is gross, If you're like a 45 year old dad and you date anything, I think anything younger than 30 is gross, but anything younger than 25 is fucking gross. It's gross. I thank my lucky stars.

I have no desire for anything like that. Like I go out like in Montauk where I just was and stuff and I see like 18, like 20 year olds. I'm like, oh, first of all, I feel like they would be mortified by me. Just like everything I did, like they've got to the olds. I'm like, oh, first of all, I feel like they would be mortified by me. Just like everything I do, like they've got to the time where we were like, I take off my clothes and oh, Jesus Christ.

I'm like, all right, I don't need this type of. Well, I think there's so many women that a guy in his, you know, 45, 50, 60 or whatever could date that's within a 10 year, 15 year range that is like so put together and cute and like down to F. What is the goal? Like the latest Lenny, this Lenny who's 59, he's a plastic surgeon, married, getting divorced or got divorced from his real house, was a Miami wife, who she was, you know, gorgeous Lisa. Then he got with this Russian that he brought into the house.

And they were on and off, on and off engaged. They broke up. Now he's with a 23 year old. And he's 59. Yeah, like Bill Belichick, that one. Like, is that just, I mean, is it just the girl approaches him because she's a gold digger, and then that's like his, that's what he feels.

I guess the thing is, they don't, they feel so superior because you are gonna always be smarter, know everything. Maybe. With a woman who's like 45 and like put together, she's not gonna put up with your bullshit. Yeah, good. That's part of their appeal, I think, right? It's just like, yeah. So anyway, I thought that was so creepy and I can't remember what

happened but I guess because maybe the girl was technically over 18. So I don't think there was like a legal thing. It was just so embarrassing. I remember reading the article and just imagining this intern at their Hampton's house doing, you know, and then like them getting together and it's like it happened like in their house, like in his home office. Yeah. I remember when that went down. That was a big one. The model Gabrielle Zunga, she announced her retirement from OnlyFans. Oh no. because she quietly settled her $50 million lawsuit against Shannon Sharp. Oh, really?

Remember that girl? Yeah. Where she said, it said all that, you know, he wrote her all those gross things and he's like, I'm going to choke you tonight. I'm going to choke you. They had audio of it too. Yeah. Yeah. So they must've settled for enough

that she doesn't have to do OnlyFans anymore. Wow, all right, that's good. This was pretty crazy. This girl, Michelle Sky Hayward, she's a mother to professional kite surfer and a media influencer. She went to Cape Town, I guess, in South Africa and was swimming and filming how fun the water is.

And then people were like, you're in sewage. Oh no. Really? I'm literally gonna throw up thinking about this story. How do they know she was in sewage? Because they knew where she was and they're like, that's where our sewage is dumped. She wasn't from there.

And she's like, oh, this water is very tasty, but I love all these brown bubbles. God, that's got to, oh, that's disgusting. Disgusting. Yeah. And I mean, do you imagine just like you do a video and you like take a shower or whatever and you're like, okay, let's see what my comments are.

And everyone's like, you were swimming in shit. Yeah. All right. Disgusting. Yeah. This couple got in trouble because they are being accused of doing oral sex on a flight. I saw that. From on a flight from what was it JetBlue from New York to Florida. Oh boy. Say no more. Regular seats. Oh. And she literally... I'd rather swim in shit than get blown on a JetBlue flight to Florida.

She literally was just in his crotch. Yeah. And kids were like... It's not even that far of a flight. You can't... Three hours? You gotta... And they did it before they took off. Yeah. And like kids were- It's not even that far of a flight. You can't three hours. You got to- And they did it before they took off. Yeah. They're like on the runway.

On the runway? Can't keep- And there were other kids and people watching. Yeah. And I'm looking at the pictures of them like the, I don't, this guy's, it's like a, it's not like a dick you really need to have, you know what I mean? Oh, God. Losers.

Whatever. You know what I mean? Oh God, losers. Oh, this girl, this 27 year old dubbed as Australia's most sexually active woman has ended up in the hospital. Oh, when is this gonna stop, this new thing with everybody having sex with a thousand people? Well, she was doing it, she was sleeping with 583 men in a single day and she said her body had had enough. And again, she's another beautiful blonde, pretty. And she said, Angie Knight was hospitalized on Wednesday

after suffering with excessive bleeding and an alarming symptom of endometriosis and a disease which tissues, so, okay, da, da, da. And then she said that- But like, I think the last time we were on, we were talking about the one girl who did it. Yeah. And you were saying that you don't know

if this is real or not, because is there actual like... I think it's real, sadly. Do you watch like video? Like is it on OnlyFans where you can actually see and you count like this, 372, here comes 373. I guess so and they all wear masks. Oh, they do?

Guys wear masks. But what's nice is that she's now on the mend. Good. And she's spending time with her fiance. Oh. Yeah. Poor bastard. He's an FIFO worker.

I don't know what that means in Australia, who was away during the hospital stay. But do you imagine that that's your son and he's married? She can never win an argument in that relationship ever because he always has that to go back to. You know, no matter what happens, she can argue and he's like, well, you remember when you fucked 2,000 guys, so let's just not. So true. That's so true. That's tough.

Yeah, what are you going to say? Like, you know what? Like, why are you talking to that girl, talking to her? Why didn't you watch the dishes? Why didn't you fuck just 500 guys instead of 2000? And so she was trying, she said she was only planning on doing 250. Oh, it'll get away from me. 553 showed up. So she, and I said, you know what, and they say Gen Zers don't have a work ethic. Look at this girl. I can't sell 200 tickets to the bloody

bone in Omaha. This girl's got, this girl sold out the fuzzy, you know, whatever, stop it everybody, enough is enough. But yeah, I was like, yeah, she didn't want to turn them down. She did over time. Okay, so you brought some treats for us. Oh, I did, I know. Wrap it up with, oh my God, these are old people magazines from the late 70s.

These were sent to me by a fan. They're from 79, most them some 78 and I actually have an us magazine too Which Is amazing. These are the tops and flops of that year So Linda Evans, you know My favorite part is black and white inside a lot of it, yeah. There's some color too. The greatest part is every ad is just for cigarettes and liquor, which is great. Yes.

And all of it is before like Botox and teeth whitener and even teeth straightener and stuff like that. So everybody doesn't, like they don't even look that great. Well that is why right here the cover, Farrah Fawcett. Yeah. Just like I said, Farrah Fawcett had the greatest teeth and smile. It was just the greatest teeth. Now everyone can get giant, huge white teeth.

Yeah, you never saw anything like that before. You never saw a smile like this. Right. And so, yeah. I mean, look at Charlene Tilton on the cover of the Dallas girls, the girls of Dallas. They were like regular women, but I remember, oh man, Linda Gray and Victoria Principle. She had good teeth too, it's really about the teeth.

Yeah. The new Norelco microwave oven. Yeah, how do you like that? These are ads for micro, it's amazing to thumb through these. Have some fun with it. Oh my God, these are really old. I love it.

Yeah. Let me see. Okay, well we should probably, oh my God! It's Bruce Jenner! That's Bruce Jenner doing Minolta ads. I just was like, who is that? Why does it look so familiar? That's Bruce Jenner.

Oh my God, and Cruel Shoes. It's Steve Martin's first classic, everything you expect from the great living writer, word sentences. He had a- Steve Martin wrote, yeah, he had many books. Yeah. Wow, fun, fun, fun, fun.

Yeah. See, another, a lot of cigarette ads aimed at ladies. Your present filters- Come on, girls. You can get out there too and smoke cigarettes. Yeah, here's this one. Your present filter is only doing half the job because it doesn't have Teriton's activated charcoal filtration.

There is no substitute for Teriton Lights flavor. And these were the ads. I remember they used to give the woman a black eye. Wait, why does she have a white thing under her eye? I don't know why. Yeah, because it was something about... Oh my God. Wild.

Okay. Well, tell me where everyone can find you next. Wherever can find me next. What are you doing? Well, first of all, my podcast is called Cover to Cover. Listen to that. And then I'm coming... Frangiola.Ffun has all my live dates.

I'm coming to South Carolina. When? In the end of August. And I'm coming to Fort Worth, Texas. Fun. The hyenas in Fort Worth, Texas, end of August. Oh, your favorite place. I love it there.

It's fun there, I know. And then September, I got Atlanta and a ton. I got a ton coming, so come on out everybody. I got a ton of shows. Franjole.fun has all my live stuff. DC again and on and on and on. I only have my one show right now. Though I have a call with my agent.

Oh, you're doing Vegas or something, right? If he still remembers me. Yeah. No, I'm going to, yes, I'm doing November 14th in Vegas, which is BravoCon weekend, and I'm doing a 10 o'clock show at the MGM Grand, which will be a lot of Bravo fun and jokes and things like that.

I would like to show you the 10 sexiest bachelors in the world in 1979. One of them is Prince Andrew. Oh my God! So, you know, I don't know what else. Prince Andrew, the disgraced Prince. Vredis Garelitis, I believe, died of like an air conditioning on the Fritz in the Hamptons, is from what I remember.

Yeah. Look, Percodin, the drug that hooks nice people in three weeks. Yeah. And in Boderic. Look, another from... It's all... It's all... All cigarettes.

Yeah. And stereos. Oh my gosh, you know, I do feel like people are not vaping as much. Really? I don't know, more than ever. You gotta get out there on the streets where I am. Not in this neighborhood, they're not. Absolutely not.

Now that I'm living in my... Look, that's the 1980 Chevy Mazda. Oh my God. Wild. For 1980, that figure is a remarkable 40%. jeez. Anyway, this is very fun. Chris, what a fun conversation that we always have. Now I'm going to take you in the golf cart and we're going to go have a cute lunch. Oh my god, I can't wait. Let's do it. Thank you.