Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola on P. Diddy, Conjoined Twin Wedding and Getting Punched in the Face

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

The hilarious Chris Franjola is here! Famous conjoined twins are married. We discuss all the questions you have. Women looking at their phones are getting punched in the face! Bethenny Frankel claims she was a victim too, however, it was the only thing in her life she never did a Tik Tok about. 50 Cent has entered the P. Diddy chat. Wendy Williams tried to warn us about P. Diddy. Everyone filing for divorce should schedule it around the launch of their podcast like Tori Spelling. Lizzo quits the business. Vanderpump Rules Ariana got yet another job! So funny! Enjoy!  Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales, her real life Mr. Safe and Serial Data, and Serial Sisters. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Woo woo. Heather McDonald. Juicy Scoop.

Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. The one, the favorite, everyone's favorite, boyfriend, dad, gay best friend, whatever you wanna say. I could throw all those categories. You really can. Musical, musical theater guest. All of it. Your plus one. Oh sure. You can be a great plus one theater guest. All of it. You're plus one.

Oh, sure. You can be a great plus one for a sporting event or Broadway. That's what I, that's what I try to tell people. You're just a delight. I do work around the house. Heavy lifting I can do. You can, you can. Light hauling. Electric work. Staging.

Stage, oh, I'll stage. Interior design. Absolutely. All of it. Don't get him near a home goods, it'll never come out. Was there yesterday? Oh yes, good to be back. Hello, how are you? Welcome back from La Quinta, what a life. We had the best Easter ever. You know, through so many Easter's, being that my sister and I, our kids are close in age, she's my best friend.

But many years we didn't spend it together, because who wants to drive the three hours to get to each other? Now that we have a place there, we just had the best Easter weekend ever. I was there from Thursday and then drove in this morning. And we did a Saturday night Easter thing

with an Easter egg hunt, which was super fun. But the kids are a little older for that, no? We haven't done it in years, but I was like, look, we're gonna do the Easter egg hunt. We did money, dollars, 20s, fives, all of it. Oh, what was the highest denomination, 20s? 20s, we did candy. And then I did this other thing, and moms, you can steal it.

It is a great idea for a warrant of an adult or whatever. I made little pieces of paper. And if you got those, first of all, whoever got the most eggs won an extra 20 bucks. So you want to get as many eggs, then you take your loot and you separate money, candy, and these things, which I call challenges. And you have to do that, whether you've got five of them or one of them, you can trade with another cousin, but you have to do it. And one was like, sing a Miley Cyrus song. So my nephew got that. Then he looked up the words and it was really cute

because he's not a singer. Well, the other ones were things to benefit us. So one was what makes your mom better than all the other moms? Oh, okay. And Drake did that one and it was fucking hilarious. So he had to get up there and say. He got up there and he's like,

she hasn't beat me, she hasn't starved me, she hasn't kept me in a room. Yeah, like that. Yes. That influence. And he goes, so therefore I guess she's better than some moms. And I was like, so it was really funny.

That was nice that you were compared to the most horrible mom in the world and you won. That was pretty good. I won and then like Brennan, one was Make a Rap About Today. Brennan did a great rap. He's really good at like improv rap. And then like Haley got something sweet,

like what's your favorite thing about your mom, whatever. And then Brennan also got Imitate Your Dad in the Morning. So it was like hacking up fluids, talking about how the podcast, da da da da, the podcast, and we're gonna take out the trash. It was like hilarious. And so that was a really fun thing that we all did together. And then the next morning we went to breakfast. So it was perfect. Well I have a four year old. So that's cutest age ever.

I know. However, we kind of dropped the ball on Easter. We had a lot going on. Well, because it was raining here too, right? And it was raining on Saturday a lot. And then we thought it was going to, the forecast was Sunday was going to be, we'll wash out. So we thought it was. So we were like, oh, just forget it.

She'll just watch TV. She likes to watch TV. She's like a lazy kid. I was like, I always ask her, what would be her best day? She goes, having lunch in bed. So anyway, we totally forgot like eggs or hiding or anything. So in the morning I got up like in panic at 6 a.m. and we had two hard boiled eggs in the refrigerator.

And I took them out, not colored, nothing. I got a magic marker, a Sharpie, a black Sharpie. And I wrote Happy Easter on one, and then the other one I drew like a little Easter bunny face, and I hid them in the living room. And I- The hunt was for two eggs? I know, well let me, so then my daughter wakes up

and I said, I think I heard an Easter bunny in here. Somebody was jumping around in here last night. She's like, oh, maybe it was Easter. And I said, I think I heard an Easter Bunny in here. Somebody was jumping around in here last night. She's like, oh, maybe it was Easter Bunny. I said, I think so. Maybe they hid something. So she looks and finds them both. And she's like, but these are like real eggs. I was like, yeah.

She's like, I've watched a lot of TV and I see that there's plastic eggs and there's supposed to be some good shit in them. And inside the plastic egg is fun stuff. Yeah, like what's this? These were hard boiled eggs. They weren't even, but didn't that, I thought we used to hide hard boiled eggs.

We did, okay. In our day, in our day, as a Southern California Catholic kid, we would color all the eggs. And then hide those. And then my dad would throw them all, and he would actually do a map so that he would remember because we'd had some ones that we never found and then it would smell horrible

in our backyard. Right, right. And he'd be like hot, hot, cold, cold. Oh, you went outside. In our backyard. We'd always do it in our backyard. Oh, okay. Hot, hot, cold, cold.

And he would try to do it so that Shannon and I both scored like 12 each or 10 each or whatever. And that was it. It was just a hunt. And then my mom would bake deviled eggs. Yeah, so you- Deviled eggs and Bloody Mary for the family. Fantastic.

So wait a minute, it was hard boiled eggs though. You were looking at- It was. You were finding hardiled eggs. Yeah, so you've got- Deviled eggs at Bloody Mary for the family. Fantastic. So wait a minute, it was hard boiled eggs though. You were looking at your funny hard boiled eggs. I don't even think those plastic eggs were invented when I was a kid. No, I don't think so either. So anyway, that was, we failed on that. And then we got our, a basket, the worst, it had a big ball in it.

And then underneath the ball, we were under the impression it was gonna be a bunch of fun stuff. And it wasn't, it was just a ball. With like, I don't know. Pre-made baskets you mean? Yeah, pre-made baskets. Oh, yeah, those suck.

I think they call those days where you just lay in your pajamas all day and eat in your bed and watch TV, there's a name for them. It's not called like a mental health day, it's called. Depression. My daughter's depressed. No, she just, you know, doesn't every kid.

Who does it? Like every kid likes to eat. We try to monitor it, you know, but it's one of those things, like, oh, I mean, I grew up on TV and I turned out okay. My niece, when she was little, like she'd only go to school, preschool, like, I don't know, every other day or something.

So she'd wake up and be like, oh, please, mommy, don't tell me it's a farm school day. Don't you and I just wanna go to lunch and snuggle. Like she just was like, fuck that. Yeah. I know. It's, but whatever. Anyway, so that was our Easter.

My mom used to do the trickery where she'd go, you know, go to the store. It'd be like the one time she'd, I was, someone else could watch me and I didn't go to the store and she'd come back and she'd be like, oh, well, that was the worst. The Easter bunny was ahead of me in line, buying all these eggs and he had all these coupons. And I just remember just imagining like a full blown Easter Bunny, like in the checkout line at Ralph's and being like, how did I fucking miss this?

The only time I felt that same way is when my friend lied and said she was at a Christmas party with JFK Jr. And it was the one time I stayed in, the one time I was like, I'm too burnt out to go at a Christmas party with JFK Jr. And it was the one time I stayed in. The one time I was like, I'm too burnt out to go to this Christmas party. Was there really? Was JFK Jr. No, it was a lie.

It was a lie. April Fools, which is today. It was April Fools, but that was a lie. But they didn't tell me it was a lie for like 24 hours. Wow. So much is going on. Wow. Is it ever? Conjoined twins, Abby and Brittany, these are the, they're probably about 30 or something now.

They had a series only for one year, about 10 years ago on TLC. So, for those of you who don't know, they've gotten, they had lots of 2020s and things. So- Oprah, an Oprah appearance, very famous Oprah appearance. Yes, so they were conjoined.

So they have two heads, two arms, and the bottom of their, they have two hearts, but the bottom half of their body is one. So it's my understanding they'll, I don't know if they have two uteruses, but they have one vagina, one way to pee, and two legs. Butthole. I assume one butthole, yes, everything for the butthole.

And they looked into separating them at the time. And they were told very, very unlikely that they'd live through it because there was just too much combined with other conjoined twins. Maybe they lose an arm or maybe one leg, but it's like only their hips are, you know, like their massive organs are not attached and that's why they didn't do it. So they went on to have fun, where they'd be visited by cameras every once in a while.

And then they were, they are currently fifth grade teachers. Yeah, school teachers. And now this is what's interesting because I'm like, oh, this is, or do they have a TLC show now? No, they were married. And I say they, though he said only one is married. Yeah. One got married. The one that's closest to the husband in the photo is the one that he actually married. So when they show them dancing, he's only kissing the one that he's married. And the other one is just there for the ride.

one that he's married and the other one is just there for the ride. I'm sorry. Which kind of has to be. He is a vet, an army veteran, and he is a nurse. So like, you know, they're both, all three of them are professional people. And now I'm like, well, if this happened in 2021, how did this get out? Will they have a TikTok page? And I guess they loaded up and just finally someone realized they had a TikTok page. Or is this a soft launch to tell us they are gonna be having another series on TLC? I heard they wanted out of the spotlight.

That's why they, so maybe that you could be right, but I heard that they- That just happened, someone just happened to have found that they posted on something. Right. Look, you know, I know there's like a million jokes to be had, whatever, but they are who they are and they deserve to have love

and there's nobody else like them. I know. Well, I think there's probably a few others, but- No, there is nobody else on this earth like that, that are living as two people attached. In my opinion, in my research, I don't No, there is nobody else on this earth like that, that are living as two people attached. In my opinion, in my research, I don't think that there is. I don't know. I mean, I'm-

It's a very unique case, but maybe, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe one of these countries, you know. One of these countries that don't- Yeah, you don't have TV shows. Have cameras, they're like out of a village and they're just, yes, exactly. So I think that, so they said they wanna be moms in which they would, they'd have one child.

Yeah. I don't know which egg would drop because I don't know if there's two uterus, this is only one uterus, but I think they could actually carry a child if they wanted. I think it would probably be very complicated and it would probably be much safer to do it with a surrogate, but what do I know?

Well, I think just looking at the pictures. Now here's, this is a, this is one of those stories you wanna tiptoe into. Yeah, tiptoe. Because we all have the same questions. I mean, let's face it. Yeah. We're gonna try and be as, you know,

as delicate as we can with this one, but come on, there's a lot, there was a honeymoon and there's one person there who's gotta be a part of it. That doesn't necessarily wanna be a part of it. I don't know, like you're along for the ride. If you're not the one who's married, okay, well clearly, you know, they made sure that that was the side that she sat on.

So he's closest to the one he married. And then obviously when you're making love, you know, you're the ultimate third wheel, so I guess you could maybe put on, like, headphones and a mask. But you would be able to feel it. You'd be able to feel it. And you know what? So what?

If these girls were my daughters, I would be like, great. Experience it all. Of great. Experience it all. Of course. Experience it all. I would encourage them not to do the TLC show. I don't think the money is gonna be worth the pain and the hate that you'll get being so public. And they've been public,

they've been the school teachers for like a decade. And all those people at that school are very happy to have them teach and love it and like makes. And also if your kid was taught by the conjoined twins in fifth grade, that's a good college essay. Right. I mean, when I was going through those essays with Brandon, I'm like, you got to have something

original. These people are bored. They're reading how you, you know you gave shoes to children in another country. It's not that juicy. Neither is when you won the 5K or whatever. What we need is what it was like to be taught by conjoined twins and hear about it in a beautiful interesting way. You ever do like a family picnic or whatever?

Sometimes they'll do a thing called the three-legged race, where you'll tie yourself to somebody else and then you do your best to get down the, so now imagine you're in a three-legged race and then usually at the end of the three-legged race you would stop and everybody would untie each other and go home, but now the three-legged race, you go, you just stay together with the person, you go back to the house and then they fuck their husband

while you're attached, that's what it is. I mean, there was conjoined twins before them, and I don't know if they're still alive. They were at the head or something, right? No, one, yes, they both had heads and bodies. They used to do a lot of the Maury Poviches and stuff. But one was like smaller, so that person's body was on a little like rolling stool. Yes.

Yes, and one wanted to do charity work, and the other one really wasn't interested. was on a little like rolling stool. Yes. Yes. And one wanted to do charity work and the other one really wasn't interested. I remember going, so one was like volunteering at the hospital, the other one was just like arms crossed or whatever. And then the other one, and definitely you could look up this, wanted to be a country singer. I remembered vividly.

And the one I think on the rolling chair was the one that was singing. And the other one just had to be like her, you know, her height woman. I'm like, maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. I thought one of them wanted to be a standup comedian too. I really think there was a minute where they were. Most standup comedians actually wanna be singers.

So probably when she didn't get a song, she was like, well, this can't be very hard. I mean, do you imagine the jokes? It would be amazing if they got up there. I mean, the guy seems like a nice, I mean, but he's obviously got a type or some sort of, he's got a fetish. I think they met somewhere and they connected on a level

that he was, maybe he didn't have a lot of girlfriends before and was just like, I totally connect with her and her sister yeah and We don't care what the rest of the world says God but it's This is gonna be tough for all the single ladies out there who like I can't find a man really you can't look who got married Last week you can't find him. What is wrong with you that this guy who's a nice looking man? Yeah. He did it. They did it. What is your problem? Yeah. It's got to be a tough day

for the single. No, because there's too many women encouraging their other girlfriends like, you can do better, sister. Kick him to the curb. Well, guess what? Maybe you can't. No, exactly. Maybe you better settle. It's tough out there. There's one of them who's still single. I mean, now this guy, I mean, if they're- I mean, that's the other thing. Like, what if he brings a friend to a dinner? Yeah. And they're holding, he's holding the hand of the wife,

you know, and they're there, and the sister's there just like eating her chicken parm. And then he's like, oh, I want you to meet my army buddy, you know, whatever. And he comes over and he's like, hey, you remember when we were in the foxhole, whatever. Then they start talking. And she really connects with him.

And he really connects with her. Yeah. Now what? I don't, I mean. Now that I say- We could do now what's all day on this one. You know, I mean, it's- But doesn't she get to experience?

Yeah. And then the other one has to put on the mask in the ear? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. But you know what, they're good people, they're contributing to society. They are. They're, if they choose to share more about their life, then I hope it's extremely profitable.

TLC, I know you don't pay a lot. So maybe don't go to TLC. Maybe go to Netflix or something. And how much do you pay them? You pay them for one or two? I mean, I'm just saying, if you're them and you're like, we were getting so much attention, everyone's talking about including Juicy Scoop,

get a good entertainment attorney and see if there is a somebody like a Netflix or a Hulu that's willing to pay more than TLC. Cause I don't think they pay enough in my opinion. Okay. Okay. So also Gypsy Rose Blanchard, who was the little girl who was a victim of a munchausen by proxy with her mother and was horribly abused and in wheelchairs.

They did like medical fraud and all these fake things. She met a guy online and he, and she planned for him to kill the mom, which he did. He is doing life. She got eight and a half years and then she got out. And so when she came out, there was a lot of media around her. People were obsessed because there's been scripted movies, there's been documentaries, all of it.

Right. And she married this guy that she met online. He was like a teacher or something. And they did a circuit of interviews and red carpet and stuff. She has announced it's over with him. And it was pretty quick, right? It's only been a few months. Yeah.

It's over with him. They are breaking, they broke up, they're separated. She made an announcement she is going to live with her parents and the parent is the dad that didn't have custody of the kid because it was like a one night stand with that woman. Yeah. And his wife who he's had for like 20 years, who she's close to, she's gonna live with them in the bayou away from the husband.

Okay. And I think it's amazing because she, a couple of things that I think would happen why they break up. Yeah. One is the uncanny resemblance between the man that she married and the mother that her boyfriend killed. Oh, really?

They look exactly alike, especially by a certain angle. The smile, the glasses, the jawline, all of it. And I don't think she ever noticed it until she got out and the internet went ablaze. Yeah, started to put it. And that can give you an ick factor that you maybe didn't realize existed. Personally, there have been some moments

where I look at Peter with his hair, which is the exact, very similar style to my dad's hair. And I'm like, wow, now that is very similar to my dad. Now, my dad didn't abuse me. My dad was a total delight. Right. And my dad is dead, and I didn't kill him. So for me, someone being like, oh my god, Peter sort of my or looks a little bit like your dad,

you know, with the hair and stature. That's one thing. Right. But... I mean, don't we all, I mean, there is some... But mom and husband is a little weird and then given the history. But what were you saying? I mean, we're all attracted, I think, you know, don't we,, I mean there is some. Mom and husband is a little weird and then given the history, but what were you saying?

I mean we're all attracted I think, you know, don't we, in our significant others, isn't there always some sort of parallel to your parents? Or trade or personality trade or something, yeah. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, I don't know. But if, again, my mother didn't pull my teeth out when I was four, didn't she do that to her? Like pull it.

She would pull her teeth out, then I think she would do the gold caps, which I don't even know. But to put her in a wheelchair when she could walk, I mean, it was horrific. Yeah. And so, but there was this one, this one kind of funny thing that I saw

that I don't know where it was, but it was like showing up at my feet at a time on TikTok. And there was this guy who just kept quoting her in her voice and like annoying his mom. And it was making me laugh so hard. It was like, I don't care about the haters. I'm living my best life. And the D is fire.

Like her husband's dick was fire. Cause she, she's someone who was like, someone had said like, he's not attractive or whatever. And she went off on social media to say like, I'm living the best life and the D is fire. And like, that she's just getting it. And I guess it just wasn't all enough. But he could have been a little too excited about the fame.

I saw them getting out of her, like a car and a paparazzi was around him and they seemed to be loving, he did at least. Yes, and so, you know, and he was just a teacher before. I think I know what happened. Yeah. I think she was in negotiations for a podcast. Oh, I'm sure.

And I think he wanted to be part of it. Yeah. And I think that and looking like the mother, she was like, this is, I don't wanna do this. I want to be on my own. Also, you're like the only guy I've really had a relationship with besides the one that killed my mother.

So I'd like to see if some other D is on fire. And that's what happened. Yeah, there's a lot of Ds that are on fire. I think they did one practice podcast and she was like, shut up, you're so annoying. And that was it. He also looks a little bit like Family Guy, Peter Griffith. So maybe he has a career.

Good luck to her. Okay, good luck to all of them. Doja Cat is very upset because she wore her natural hair, which is bleached blonde. And I guess people said that her hair looked like pubes. Well, I mean, it doesn't. It looks like a short haircut. I mean, I just wanna say, why are you giving them, you know, like,

have you seen how much shit J.Lo's been getting? For that show on Netflix or one of her, yeah. The Netflix show, there was the Netflix show, which was like a, you know, all these different music videos of her like acting like Rosie the Ripper in the beginning. And fantasies, and then she went around with like an umbrella and was like dancing. And she was like, hey Joe, like the last line of it is like,

and it's fat Joe is supposed to be your therapist about, cause she's had so many loves. And she was like, never stop believing in love. This is my favorite line in the movie. Never stop believing in love. I'm like, that's your favorite line in the movie. Anyway, so that got a lot of shit. People couldn't believe how ridiculous.

Then she did a second movie documentary about the making of that. Oh, okay. And how hard it is. And then people also, then in it, she did this video where she's like, takes her hair out of its bun. She's like, my hair looks like,

reminds me of when I was 16, crazy, crazy girl, repping up and down the Bronx, going to the bodega. And then everyone's like, you know, you really didn't have that heart of a life. That's not how- They show the street she lives on. Yeah, that's not how you order the food in the bodega. But then she did the thing where she posted something and she's like dancing around

and she just writes like, unbothered. And I'm like, well, then you are bothered. Right. You are bothered. You're showing that you're unbothered, you're bothered. Like you're not addressing it, but you're trying to say like, you could all hate on me, but I'm the one fucking bed afflux

looking at a $30 million townhouse in New York. So, but that's all you have to do. Just go show, look, call the paparazzi to let them know that you're going to look at these $30 million places in which she did, but that's all you have to do. You don't also have to do the unbothered video. That's my advice as someone who's been through it.

I watch a lot of the two of them coming out of, you know, different restaurants or whatever, and I don't think Ben Affleck gives her enough time to get in the car before he slams the door. Every time, I'm like, wow, I mean, you didn't even look to see if her leg was still out or her foot, like, and nobody, I don't see anybody reacting to the fact

that this might be a problem in his marriage. How hard he slams the door every time. You are so right. And she's not even in yet, every time. I just watched one yesterday. She gets in the Range Rover or whatever, and he slams the door, and I swear she just got her foot in within seconds of getting slammed in the door.

Well, listen, I've been married a long-ass time, and if I ever get to the level where paparazzi are around, I'm literally gonna always have to go, Peter, you gotta open my door. Yeah. He is not a door opener. He's just not. I'm sorry. I know some guys are raised that way. maybe if I, in the beginning of dating,

would have insisted, my dad didn't do it for my mom either. It was just something that we didn't do. I think it's so classy. I think guys should do it. I don't know that my boys will do it because I don't think, I think if you don't see it, and you don't have someone,

but it's weird for me to teach it when I'm like, hey, dad doesn't do it, but this is what you should, I don't know, I try. But like, no, like you're walking, it's quicker, just get the fuck, open the door. Yeah, because you're gonna walk around. Yeah, but of course, of all the paparazzi you're watching, and so I think that's probably like,

he was probably like, I know, but there's, yeah. And then she always has to act like, oh my God, why are they here? Why are they here, Ben? And we're like, and then she always has to act like oh my god. Why are they here? Why are they here bed and we're like At this point is just like he knows yeah that she's called him right you know Some of it that she made somebody like her people make that but why do you see the lead paparazzi? I mean she's at this point. He says okay. There's a clip in the documentary Okay, very and this is something not enough people have talked about so I'm glad you reminded me. He says, okay, there's a clip in the documentary. Okay. And this is something not enough people have talked about,

so I'm glad you reminded me. He says, I had an addiction with alcohol. Right. And, you know, it was very hard to break up with it. J.Lo, whatever he calls it, I don't even know, but he basically says, the gist of it is, she is addicted to this. There's never enough followers, there's never enough movies. this. There's never enough followers.

There's never enough movies. There's never enough products. There's never enough things. She can't stop. That's her addiction. She has one glass of champagne a year, yet she starts an alcohol company when she doesn't drink and her husband's an alcoholic

because she can't say no to a deal. It's like, if someone brought me a deal and it really was against my brand or what, I mean I have, I've turned down stuff, I've turned down ads that just don't align with what I've said on this show. But yeah, I think that's- She's just addicted to the whole thing, the fame and everything. Yeah, and he says it and he knows it and I think he's getting tired of it.

Do you remember when Warren Beatty said a similar thing about Madonna and Truth or Dare? Yes. That documentary from years ago. She was so ahead of her time. She was the first to have a Thirsty Doc. Somebody said something about her like doing something on camera. And then Warren Beatty like laughed and said,

he doesn't do anything off camera. Yeah, it doesn't exist if it's not on camera. And actually she was the first to do that with Truth or Dare, but she didn't continue that life. And then she got a little thirsty in the last four years with Instagram. She started to do all the thirsty stuff that we all do and younger people do, which I think is embarrassing.

It's okay if you're 60 and people are like, dude, you gotta join. And you're kind of like Courtney Cox and you have a little team and you just try to do some funny sketches or you make a tuna fish sandwich. Okay, I still think it's kind of like Courtney Cox and you have a little team and you just try to do some funny sketches or you make a tuna fish sandwich. Okay, I still think it's kind of sad almost, but it is the world we live in

and you probably have to be relevant on TikTok and Instagram. But I think when these superstars do it, I'm like, oh, God, girl. She was doing a lot of milk baths. Remember when she was doing- Who was? Madonna.

Oh. She would be in a bath doing poetry and stuff in a lot of milk baths. Remember what she was doing? Who was? Madonna. Oh. She would be in the bath doing like poetry and stuff in a bath of milk. Remember when she had her ass implants and she went under a couch? Yes, under the bed, under the couch. And it was just like, it looked like the witch, when the house fell on the witch.

Except it was a little higher up. Right. From Wizard of Oz. I mean, whatever. Some people are just kooky, you know? I often say, I often wonder why, I mean, in the end, J.Lo, Madonna, they're from normal upbringings.

They didn't grow up in this world. And I think Madonna's like Detroit suburbs and regular. But then somewhere along the way, they get a little kooky. It just happens. And I often wonder like why. And then I believe it's because, you know, because there's so many like yes people around them. They don't, you know, do you believe?

Like if somebody, if you're like, I'm gonna get my ass this big. If your friend's being, I don't know. No, the hurt people are like, girl! You! Mmm, you! You look good. And then that same guy goes to his other gay friend and is like, bitch, doesn't know what she's doing.

I'm so embarrassed. Okay, so did you hear that apparently Lizzo has stated she's done? I saw the Instagram. So she just did on Instagram. That's what I at least... Done. Yeah. I can't take it.

Okay, we know that she's got the lawsuits from the disgruntled employees and dancers, but also just internet hate. She said a lot of internet hate, yeah. But that's the internet. You know what I mean? You have to... You just have to ignore it. Just like Doja Cat's Pew comment.

Exactly. I mean, there's gonna, it's, I think it was built for hate. Or I'm Billy in Saw. I'm Billy the Puppet in Saw. Yeah, I mean, we all get it. We're going on a decade of it. Yeah, I know.

You just eventually gotta. You gotta embrace it like I have. Kind of. You gotta have a sense of humor about it. I mean, I get, the only thing I would say to Lizzo is I follow Emily Retajanowski. It's called Emrata.

Emrata, I follow her on Instagram. And some people would say, I mean, this girl's perfect, right? Everything about her's perfect. You don't follow her because of her fabulous podcast? No, I follow her for, yeah, she's all the things she does. But anyway, you read her comments,

and people are like, gross, fish lips. And stuff like that. So even the most beautiful... So I'm saying, like, everybody gets it. You're right. Even the most beautiful girl will be like, yeah, they'll attack her in some other ways, like, oh, you're a mother. Isn't it time you stopped showing that ass,

or that ass doesn't look as good as two years ago? She does, and they write that too. That is a really good point. So everybody gets it. So, I mean, I would imagine Lizzo gets more for whatever reason, but you got it. You just gotta go with it. I had predicted a year ago

that she would get on the Ozempic and lose weight and get hate because she wouldn't be the size she was that made her the body positivity person. And some people said that my prediction was right, that she was appearing to be smaller framed. And so I don't know what, maybe she wasn't, maybe she's just had it. I don't know. Yeah, I mean.

I kind of feel like it is going to be a hard comeback because her time was like this little lightning in the bottle of like her time was like this little lightning in the bottle of like her talent but also the words and the body positivity movement which I definitely think is not with Ozempic and stuff all the people that were saying they loved it are like I kind of love being a little smaller like it is what it is like don't be mad at me for it So I think with that and then of course that she treated people badly according to this lawsuit Yeah, I'm going a lot of her lyrics about like thick 30 of a thick. Yeah Yeah, like wasn't it didn't know she say that six thirty No, a lot of it was that this this is what I think that you should do.

I think take a break. Yeah. Settle this lawsuit, let it be forgotten. Right. Do whatever you need to do for you. Stay your size, go on a Zempic, do whatever you need to do for you. Yeah.

Come back in like a year and a half, two years. Like it's gotta be a decent, it can't be three months. Come back, like go in the studio, you're super talented, and just come out with a whole new thing. Well, flute, break that flute out again. Write the lyrics of just like, oh bitch, you thought you got me down. You thought I quit?

Yeah. Well, that don't mean shit. When we mediated, I brought it, when we did our depositions, whatever. Tell the story of you ungrateful dancer, you wouldn't be dancing for once. Whatever the anger is, whatever it is, go away. Do your thing.

Know that you're talented, Lizzo. No one can take the fact that you came up with fucking great lyrics, hot beats. You can sing, you can dance, you can play an instrument. So you just have to like step aside. Also, it's probably, I mean, we all have those days, you know, where you're like, fuck it. Oh, how did we, I could have just spent a bad day.

You start typing it up on Instagram. You're like, god damn it, why doesn't anyone realize that I've been through? Yeah. And then in the morning, you're like, oh no, what did I do? 100%, where you're just like, I'm sick of it. It's one complaint too many about the free content that we put out and you just snap.

Some days you're good, you're like, delete blog, delete blog. Another day you're like, listen motherfucker, why didn't you try to have a podcast? Well, I mean, to just put it into like, not to say you and I are Lizzo status or whatever, but you know what I mean? It's just like, I mean, to just put it into like, not to say you and I are Lizzo's status or whatever, but you know what I mean? It's just like, imagine yourself, the people who write these things, like just walking

down the street and every fourth person just goes, you're fucking ugly. And then eventually you're like, Jesus, I'm going to go inside a Starbucks. This is rough. I can't handle this. But that's what it is. If you read it. So I would imagine eventually you get to a point where you're like, I quit.

I don't think she's really quit. You know what I just thought, what I've been thinking about is like, you know how we say, oh my God, thank God I wasn't, I'm not, there wasn't social media when I was a kid. And this is so awful for our kids. I wanna say, I think maybe kids five years ago suffered, are gonna probably suffer more

than the kids today. Because the kids today are growing up knowing to ignore it. And that's a part of life and to kind of laugh at it and not take it so personally. And it's like, we as Gen Xers didn't know that. You'd find out that maybe two friends were talking behind your back, and you're like, what? Or maybe you were in the bathroom stall as a woman,

and you heard two people talk about how your skirt was ugly. And you're like, I didn't know my skirt. Now imagine everything that you do is out there, and it's gonna change your perspective because the toothpaste is out of the ball, it's never going away, unless everybody just gets rid of comments.

And of course you can do that if you want, as someone like, I just can't even look at the comments, but I need to still post that I'm coming to this town. You can do that, sure, but it's not gonna be as valuable because there will be no engagement I know but so it's a hard thing, but I think maybe more and more people should just realize yeah It's just also for for a person like Liz. Oh, I believe the internet made her I mean, I think she had one she was like a YouTube star and then now she's here

So well, we wish her whatever I just you just know know somewhere that does a publicist when that thing came out You know, there are there publicist always like frazzled anyway, you know Shit, I'll pull it out of their purse. Oh my god. Oh my you know, we've seen so many along the way We had like third-rate ones, you know, we had like top-of-the-line one So it's always some woman all frantically telling us we're gonna be big stars as we walk down some shitty red carpet. But I would love to see the publicist of Lizzo that morning just trying to put out fires

and talk Lizzo off of the ledge. Sounds amazing to me. Yeah, girl, just hang low, and then she has to call that gay guy that's making her overnight, oh, it's being like, could you please get her fucking phone from her? Why did you let her have? I'm making her overnight oats. Why did you let her have her phone after you guys

been drinking in the sun all day? Oh my god, that's so funny. We have a rule. You take the phone away, and you say it's being charged. What is your problem? I've made a drinking, I've made several drinking in the sun mistakes on, we all have. We all have. Or you wake up after a day of drinking at like 4 a.m. and you're like, did I?

Was I scrolling around and possibly commenting? I don't even fucking know. It happens people. Okay, listen, I can't believe this. They are saying that Travis Kelce has a dad bod because he was seen on the beach with Taylor and they said people are more attracted to dad bods because women are because they say they said nearly 75% of singles are fans of the dad bod. They like a figure that's not super chiseled.

78% of women feel men with dad bots are confident in their own skin versus the guys with six packs and women might find a male they assume to have lower testosterone levels more appealing because they'll be less aggressive. Keep talking. Less likely to hit you. More likely to sit on a couch and knock it up when you don't clean the kitchen right. I don't know what this means.

Honestly, when I saw this picture, I was like, oh, okay. On the beach. Travis Kelce's not as ripped as I thought. However, there is a school of thought in the NFL. Tom Brady's an example of this, as is the quarterback for the Chiefs. People are saying now too muscular is you're more prone to injury.

Like your muscles are tighter, they could, you could pull them, hamstrings, whatever. So to be less muscle bound is actually encouraged in certain sports. Like to have a little marshmallow outing when you fall that can be a cushion like a pillow. Kind of. To like cracking a rib.

Yeah, so they don't want athletes, they don't want athletes muscle bound as like they used to. Like three percent body fat. Yeah, right, right, right. That's what I've heard. I mean, I could be wrong. But anyway, yeah.

It's such a sex thing, because no guy is like, you know what I like? I like a mom could be wrong. But anyway, yeah. It's such a sex thing, because no guy is like, you know what I like? I like a mom bod. Yeah. I like a C-section scar. I am, I always say it. I say it all the time.

When I first heard all this stuff that went on with the Epstein Island and stuff, I was like, I don't know, nothing sounds more annoying to me than being on a yacht with a bunch of 15 year olds. Girls. I would go out of my mind. I'd rather be on a bunch of 15 year olds. Girls. I would go out of my mind. I'd rather be on a bunch of 48 year old women in chunky heels.

Barely holding it together. Bring it on. That's what I want. 100% it's a better time. Also I'll say this and maybe you can agree. Nobody looks good in a bathing suit. Nobody. Like 1.1% of people look great in a bathing suit.

And this is two of the most, some would say most beautiful. But yeah, even she, like if you're going to, you know, because it's not airbrush and she's not posing, she's just walking, even she has a great figure. The place where the bikini bottoms hits, there's like slightly a little bit of pooch, which is nothing. But yeah,

because we're all about, you know, putting out every product to be all curated and photoshopped. Like yeah, people, that's what a couple that had had two margaritas that day making out in the sand, finally not working look like. I know. It's great. I love it. I love it too. Okay. So Ariana Maddox, who is of course Tom and Ariana, you know, from Vanderpump Rules. Sure. She is going to replace the host, which was the girl.

Nikki Glaser? No, no, no, it was Sarah Hyland. Oh, yes, right. And Sarah Hyland's leaving because she has some other big project. It's not because she got the boot. So, Ariana Maddox, at one point in talking to Tom before, after breakup, she said,

you know, I just wanted someone to watch Love Island with me. And like you always were going out and she didn't know he was fucking her best friend, but she just thought he didn't like Love Island. So that was really smart. Cause then Love Island are like, come be the host. You know, you're a pretty girl, you're single, like you're popular.

So anyway, she's going to do that. And one of the things that's going on, and I'm not gonna like recap the whole Vanderpump, but one of the things that's going on is that she has had such a windfall of one-off products, branding, Dancing with the Stars, then she did Chicago on Broadway. And now she's got this gig, which.

So she's killing it. Yeah, which I think will be a good gig for her. I don't think it's hard. Practice reading a teleprompter, hold your cards. And be like, so guys, how was last night? Woo! So today we are going to do a little something special calling What Is Your Love Language?

I mean, it's gonna not be hard, okay? So- Pretty good job, you just did right there. Thank you. If she doesn't work out, we might, you might be find yourself on an island somewhere. I would love it. Yeah.

Anyway, what I'm concerned about is what I'm seeing that's going on in the show is there are these little throwaway lines from all the cast members of like, God, okay, move out of the house, Ariana, which now she has, but when was shot. You know, you're doing fine. You have a million opportunities.

Like you have so many brand, like stop being sad about Sandoval, like you're still doing great. And I'm like, oh my God, when this news came, they're probably like, fuck. But you know what, it's not her fault. She was still fucked over by him. And good for her for getting all this shit. But I'm sure he's killing it too,

like his band's selling out everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, I talked to him on a thing. He's got all these dates. People want to go. The same people that were protesting his restaurant six months ago are now the front row at the thing. Absolutely.

Nobody gets canceled. Everyone moves on. And she, in the show, has moments where she is like, get the fuck out of here, stop talking to me. And people are like, oh my God, she's so aggressive. And he's like, see, this is what it was like. This is why I had to leave. God, this is the way she would talk to me for nine years. And I love it.

Yeah. I love seeing a woman pissed off and not getting over it. Yeah. And they all have to film together. They all have, I get it. I'm not mad at the other cast members and I'm not mad at Tom.

Like this is the show and she's participating. You think she wants to go to the show and she's participating. You think she wants to go to beach day. But when she's there and he says something that irritates her, she's just like, why is he fucking talking to me? I think it's great. Good, well I'm happy for her.

And she bought a house and she got out of the valley. She's out of the, where is she now? Some Hollywood Hills home by herself. Got it for 1.6 million. Good for her. I think so, good for her too. So I'm liking it. I never really found her to ever have that juicy

of a storyline or that much personality in the show for nine years. So now I'm like, I actually think she's killing it more than she did last season when she was cheated on. Okay, Bethany Frankel is saying that she too was punched in the face. Oh, there's a... Well, I think you need to talk about this. So explain what's going on and then I'll say how Bethany Frankel.

Okay, what I know... Being your New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker, yes. Okay. And what I'm reading is that there's this TikTok trend. Not that that's it, but what the women are doing once they're punched in the face is they're immediately going to TikTok and saying, I was just punched in the face.

So what's happening is I guess, somewhere in New York, all over the city, if a woman is walking down the street with her phone, just reading the phone or looking where she's going, punch her in the face. It seems to be a man, nobody has any more information other than that. I have a little more info. Oh, you do, okay.

Okay, so the first girl that got the most views is a big influencer. 50 million views at this point. And she filmed it right as the golf ball was swelling. Yeah. And she's crying and she's shaking and she's like, I don't even know what the hell happened. She didn't, I don't know if she got a good look at him or what, but that's what happened. After that, in the algorithm, these other girls, and I don't know if they were the same day

or maybe their videos just didn't get as much views, that popped up and there were two other girls, the same type of stories, but kind of in different parts of the city, but still in the heart of the city. Okay. And under one of those videos, Bethany Frankel writes, "'Oh my God, this happened to me a few months ago

when I was filming some video of a bakery outside and somebody punched me in the face, but I was too embarrassed to tell. Well, as someone in this world, Bethany Frankel posts 12 to 15 times a day. It's amazing how many videos she does, whether it's a salad, whether it's anything. And when there's been times when her dog was dying,

she was filming the dog choking or dying and going, what should I do, instead of getting the dog in the car and going to a vet. So nobody who has followed Bethany Frankel's career for the last 15 years believes that if she was actually punched in the face, why would you be embarrassed by that? You're a victim of a crime in New York where you live. You could be on every news station. This would be the one thing that would make your video go viral and you're not going to do it,

but then you're going to wait till you, I don't even think, I think if people even went back three months, they couldn't even find a time where she didn't post for four days for her to keel. Anyway, immediately people are like, we call bullshit. So she removed her comment. Oh, wow. And I do think, in my opinion, I don't think. So it was bullshit? She wasn't punching her? I don't think she was punched in the face.

I do think she was trying to jump on it. Maybe someone shoved her and then she made it to a punch. I don't know. I don't think she's a really truthful person, in my opinion. And yeah, because of course, of course, out of all the things, she posts about everything, good, bad,

she was a victim of a physical assault, she shows herself when she's looking horrible all the time. She's not gonna show when she has a bruise on her head, no way. So what about the trend of being put up a bunch of, is this really happening or has it just happened three times? Apparently I think they got somebody, they arrested somebody based on surveillance on

the street. But we don't know if he's the one that did everybody or if it's just crazy savages walking around the street, punching people for the hell of it. Is it just a crazy homeless person or is it somebody who's trying to punch TikTokers? Like an angry incel man. Yeah, because if there's somebody out there punching TikTokers, sign me up. I think it could probably be a combo. And then hopefully, or did one person do it and then it gave other people the idea.

I don't know. It's dangerous out there. I tell my kid this. I see people all the time walking across the street in traffic on Ventura Boulevard looking at their phones. I know. And I, you know, especially girls, sadly, that are out there walking around.

Also, apparently if you're jogging and you're a woman, that your ponytail is, you know, too much of a desire. You can't control men once they see that ponytail. Is that right? Oh, because it like, it lulls them in like a... It lulls them in and they say, so if you're, yeah. So if you're ready. Like hypnotism.

Yeah, like how dare you think that you could throw your hair at a pony and jog around the street today. No need to cut your hair like... Because there's a lot of men out there that might see the pony and can't control themselves. So girls, don't look at your phone and don't wear a ponytail. That's why Doja Cat can run around. Nobody's going to bother her because she's got pubes on her.

Except now they say, hey, pubed head. And that could be just as bad. Oh, wow. So yeah. Really, really scary. But I do think that's the lesson to be learned, is to not be looking down at your phone. No.

And you really shouldn't even have your AirBuds in, but I understand if you're doing 12 blocks while you'd want AirBuds in, but at least don't be looking at it, just be listening. I don't like to go with the AirBuds, because I always feel like I'm missing somebody screaming at me like, well look out! Yeah, I don't think you should either.

I know, it freaks me out. Especially like, it's one thing to listen to the AirBuds as you're walking around your suburban neighborhood and listen to like, Juicy Scoop or Cover to Cover. That's one thing. But busy streets with any crazy person that can walk around, no, I don't think you should have it on at all. Right.

I agree. Be safe out there, everyone. Be safe. Kim Zolciak and her husband are getting a divorce. But she said they're filming a reality show. I don't think it's true. I think she puts it out there. But I would like to see a reality show of her fight.

She does this thing, this weird thing that a lot of reality stars get paid for, Vicky from OC and Tamara from OC do, where they allow a company to just put click bait articles. So it'll be under their Facebook page or whatever, and then they get a portion of it, I guess. I've been approached, I was like, no way. And it'll say, it'll have Teresa and Louie,

and it'll be like, they're separated. And then you have to go and click through all this stuff, and you find out they separated a dining room table and made it two square tables. Yeah, that's happened. I've bitten on those. Okay, it's literally, or, you know, new member of the family and you're like, oh my God, is this person pregnant? And you find out their dog is pregnant or they brought home a cat.

Right. But it takes you like 12 minutes to get to it. So she literally did her own one, I cheated on Croix. And she put it on her thing. And I guess if you went through all the clicks, it wasn't even, she didn't even cheat. It was like, she didn't even cheat with another guy. It was some other story about cheating.

Yeah, do you say it at Yahtzee? Yeah, like I cheated at Scrabble. Like it's literally like that. It's ridiculous. It's just hilarious. Okay, let's talk about the P-Diddy, some of the P-Diddy stuff that's happened over the weekend. Okay.

50 Cent has somewhat entered the chat because- 50 Cent loves to enter chat. He jumps on everybody's- He also gets so happy when somebody that is maybe a perceived enemy of his is like going through a bad time. And it kind of reminded me of when I had Jackson during the Scandival thing. And I mean, he could not be more related at the time. Oh, really?

Yeah. To be like, I'm not the biggest douche in the group. I'm the number one guy and there's a bigger douche than me and he loved it. And so I kind of feel like, so he jumps in and so he had a child with this woman, but like probably a year after he dated Chelsea, like it was like 2013.

They weren't together, but he is an active parent in the child's life, apparently. And in this explosive lawsuit about P. Diddy and everything, they named her, the baby mama, as one of his sex workers who he paid a monthly fee to. And we don't know if that meant that she was just like a paid girlfriend of his, or if part of that money was she was having sex with other people he'd watch. So he made some jokes about it and some Instagram stuff and in a sense deleted it. But he also went on the Nicki Minaj concert and made some like reference to it too. And some people are like, dude, gross, like she still is the mother of your child.

Like, why are you? But then she went out and also accused 50 of like being sexually abusive to her at one time. Oh, shit. So now he's like, I don't even. Yeah, it's just all. So what did the FBI find? Anything?

We don't know, but apparently they're looking for videos and anything because a lot of people that do this kind of weird shit save the evidence. They like it. And so that is what they were looking for in both the homes. He went on, I guess, to have a spring break with his daughters. And of course, his attorneys are like, they're going to find nothing and blah, blah, blah. There's a confusion of what's a prostitute, which we never hear that word anymore, a sex

worker versus sex trafficked. The way I am interpreting it is a sex worker can still be someone who is in charge of their own autonomy and business. Like I'm on OnlyFans, I'm a sex worker. I am a paid girlfriend to you. I have sex with you, you pay me, we have an arrangement. Technically I'm a sex worker, I'm having sex with you. That's a different traffic.

I think the traffic is, even if it's at a high level of like you're not in the grossest hotel room, there's a sex traffic of, I kidnapped you and I've drugged you and you're in this hotel room and people are coming and having their way with you and you can't leave because you're terrified. Then there's the sex traffic to, I was with this powerful boyfriend and then other people started to come in and I was threatened and I couldn't get out of it and therefore I was trafficked and like shared and passed around. So I don't have a say in it.

Like I don't, I feel like the traffic is, I don't have a say in what happened to me because I was so either manipulated or out of fear or technically kidnapped. So is that what they're accusing P. Diddy of? Yes. Like, oh, okay. That with these people, a couple of these people, he would do this to them and they were so under his spell or out of fear that they had to cooperate

and it's not something they chose. So it's not like he was driving around like a car full of Vietnamese women doing nails or something. You know, like a lot of times they say that's trafficking. Those people who work in like nail salons. So there's, that's like human trafficking. Okay. Where you're almost like a slave in that sense.

And then sex trafficking is that it's the same. I had read both sex and human trafficking in one of the headlines I read about P. Diddy's. So then it could also have been that he had people like- Working for him. Working and they felt like they couldn't leave. Okay. It's not good.

And then like, you know, now J. Lo was his girlfriend back in the day. And that's when that shooting happened. Yes. She was there for that. And there's a lot about that in this lawsuit that he did do the shooting, even though he got

out of it. I don't even understand. It was like a shooting in a nightclub and she was there and shortly after that they broke up. That's when she wore the low rider white pants and the bandana. The white bandana. At her best, I believe. For my money, that was her best era.

For your money. That was my favorite era of jailer. Yeah. Yeah. And then- I said it. I remember I was talking to a guy that was gonna be my manager. Oh.

And he had told me, like during this time he goes, I'll tell you what it's like, you know? I have all these big deals going. I ended up not going with him, probably because of this story. But he's saying, I represent J. Lo, and he's like, we had a meeting once,

and Puffy came in, and he just laid his gun on the table. Okay. And I was like, I just kinda, to be honest, and this is awful, I just kinda thought that wasn't that, I thought it was weird. Yeah. But I didn't think it was that big of a deal, because I'm like, I don't know, he's a gangster,

like, he's a rapper. But now that's one of the things is that he would constantly have guns and be threatening people with guns and stuff. So that's a big part of it. Wendy Williams has, people have gone through and said all the things that she has talked about where she was talking about him on the radio show

before she got Wendy Williams. And he sent one of his all-girl groups out there, I think they were called Total or something, to threaten her. This was it, wait. Once upon a time there was a music mogul, this is what she said, who sent his all-girl group to beat my ass in front of the radio station.

Wait, so the musicians went to beat her up? Like West Side Store? Did he? Yeah, did he? Did he? His all-girl group total was sent over because she was talking shit about him. She was always saying, you know, this was her other thing. There was a radio personality once upon a time, meaning herself.

Yeah. And it's all coming full circle. I don't like when people change their name in the middle of our relationship. She made fun of him changing his name all the time. She said, I have a certain level of contempt for Puff. He single handedly tried to ruin my career. So before this from her book.

Yeah. So she said many other things. But then in 2017, he came on the show and they like and people thought everything was fine that they had buried the hatchet. And that she had mentioned when he was dating Cassie, who was the one that did the lawsuit and they had the settlement, she had made a reference of like, look, when you date somebody like that with a,

and you wanna leave or you wanna go to a hotel and just be by yourself, they'll have a helicopter land on the hotel and they'll have people outside your door and like anybody can be bought. Yeah. If this guy can buy anybody to make sure that you stay put. And she had said that. So at this point, is there anything or is it just accusations? I mean, I don't know. I feel like at this point it's shit.

It's all accusations and enough that people have filed lawsuits and stuff. Right. So there's gotta be enough evidence. But how many, is it the lawsuit, from what I understand, it's the one man, like an assistant who's been filing lawsuits, but then he's been, he's a little off, I think.

Some people, yeah, some people are saying, yeah, I don't believe it, and this and that. And then the woman as well. And then there's the woman that is the mother of his daughters who died, and there are people that believe that that was under strange circumstances. Oh, really, okay.

That maybe she was going to tell. Yeah. And there's just- But tell what? Like, I don't see if you have a- Yeah, all these, about these stories, about whatever it is. Then there's all the Justin Bieber and Usher stuff. Oh, right, once again though,

I mean, I've seen the just, not that I'm defending Pete, I don't know any about him. No, I'm just saying this is what the chatter is about. Yeah, I mean, I feel like every story, I feel like Kate Middleton was the same thing. I was just like, it was just a lot of chatter. I'm like, but there's no story. Nobody has any facts, but which is fine.

That's kind of the way the world works these days. But pictures of him and Justin Bieber, all right. It's strange that a whatever, 35-year-old man's hanging out with a 14-year-old, but they are in the music business, and he was a musician, so there would be pictures together. Right, right.

Same with Usher. Yeah, so they're analyzing something of him being like, hey, why don't you come? I mean, honestly, I have pictures with Justin Bieber, you know what I mean? Yeah, watch it. Yeah, you know what I mean? We do.

And we have our stories of where those stories were. One was that three of us women, grown women, were flirting and it was a sketch acting like we were dying for him and he was like 14. And the other one, as I told, where he was really sick and I was like, oh, so he's not gonna do the show, he's sick and they're like, no, the doctor's coming to get him a B12 shot so he can get out there.

And that one, when he wrote that song, I was so sick and nobody cared. I was like, I swear to God, he's working for the Chelsea Lately show. Like... I did a bunch of sketches with him. Yeah. So, I mean, who knows?

But like, yeah, I mean, I expose it all. But after what's happened with Epstein, I'm like, does anyone ever... Do we ever really know? Like, do we ever really get to see the videotapes or the, you know, footage? So now they're saying there's some NFT, but no, there's no evidence of it. TMZ is saying there's an NFT, supposedly the behind the scenes videos of him, you know, with I don't know what.

I don't even know. I thought NFTs went away. We're going to spend the next hour explaining NFT. I don't care. I mean, I don't know. I have no idea. I wanna talk about this thing that's happening, the squatter thing.

This another article, I mean, there are so many articles. This is my hometown. This is my people. So a New York City couple is sued by squatters who allegedly took over their $930,000 investment home and won't leave. This particular article, I didn't have a chance to really research.

So I'm assuming from all the other squatter articles I've read, that this house didn't have anybody in it because they were there in between leases or whatever. It's their right to have an empty house in America. And people went in and they squatted. Right. It's their right to have an empty house in America. And people went in and they squatted. And if you're there for like, I don't even think you have to be there for any time. It's different states.

But what I've read is like, certainly if you're there for 30 days, there's some like law that then now it's yours. And the owner. Squatter's right. And the owner has to keep the, not the air conditioning, but they have to keep the heat and the electricity on. Otherwise they're breaking the law, even though it's their home. And cops can't do anything.

And then you have to go through the legal system and they'll just make up a fake lease that they'll show the cops. So then the cops are like, we don't know what to say. They have a lease saying that you leased it to them. And they're like, well, but we didn't. Well, it's not this 30-year-old cop's deal. So he leaves.

And now you have to hire attorneys and everything. And now, yeah, it's terrifying. It's fucking terrifying. If I had an extra house that we weren't going to or that wasn't in a gated community with security. Right. This is the new thing that I think people should make, okay? If you're a construction guy, I have it for you. Okay.

You're going on a vacation for two weeks in the summer. Right. To be able to get something that you put on your door and all your windows that bolt it up, that maybe doesn't look completely unattractive. But it's like, and then when you come home, you take them off, you put them in your garage, and then you use your normal locks because you're going in and out every day.

But if you're gonna leave for more than like three days, you put that stuff up. If you're- To stop the squatting. Yes, I honestly think I would do, if I was just in- Do you think it's that big a problem? I think in certain neighborhoods it is. Really?

And I think in a certain, yeah, like look at Atlanta, Georgia. It's an absolute, like it's a problem. So I'm just saying if you are, or if you have like your mother's home that you inherited and you like haven't checked it out in a while or hire someone in the neighborhood to just go by like every three days, I would, I would.

Because I'm like, once they're in, then that's the problem. Like it's just a big problem. But for the most part, like maybe it was like a homeless person who would get out, but these people seem to be, they like know the laws and stuff. They know the laws, they're making a whole family.

They're like people come in there, it's like having a barbecue. And like it's real. Right They're making a whole family. They're like, people come in there, it's like having a barbecue. And like, it's real. Right. Yeah. It's a real thing. And I'm just saying, if that is you and you have like an extra property that you are not

using or it's your, you know, it doesn't seem like it's like vacation homes, but I'm sure they'll clue in and start going to vacation homes. It's just like extra, like a house that's just, they kind of scope it out. They realize nobody's been there for like a week. Right. And so it's probably in between renters or it's just an extra property, the person doesn't know what they're gonna do with it yet.

And then they're like, well, no one's using it. And then it's very hard to get them out. But it doesn't seem like, I mean, but I'm telling you, that is a good business, what I just said. Creating some type of like. They could have it. Like I guess what you would do if there was a hurricane. Yeah, like those things that roll down

in front of a liquor store. But maybe you could make it something that's easier. Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna have to, yeah, but I'm saying maybe you could make it have something that's just an easier, more attractive thing. But doesn't that then, then you're walking down the street, you're like, well, this house is obviously vacant,

it looks like an old liquor store. And they'll find a way in. I feel like that would, that would- You're right, that's in the setting of an alarm. It would call more attention to it. All right, well, forget my idea. Back to podcasting. I'm not gonna get into the construction business

for squatters. Yeah, right, Keep squatters out. The latest with the Nickelodeon show about Quine On Set, there is this guy from Zoey101. He says he did not have a problem with Dan Schneider, however, he did have an agent when he was 19 that sexually harassed him and everything and then for, oh, but you were 19. Anyway, the point is more stories are coming out from this time of child actress between Nickelodeon and probably Disney or whatever,

where you just realize how shady it was for kids and how people. Shady was for everybody. Yeah, we weren't aware of our own life, of our own life, with you modeling the kimonos. Among other things, I moved a lot of TVs for people, agents, come by the house and move this TV for me in this outfit, and I would do it.

Yeah. Didn't go beyond that, but I was a strong person, I could move a TV, that's back when TVs were heavy. You know, Brandon told me there's some song we were listening to. It's called like a bop or something, a girl that's a bop. And I go, what is that? And he goes, oh, that's a girl that, you know,

dates you and like just uses you for like gifts and money and purses and stuff. And I go, well, does she sleep with the guy? And he goes, yeah. And I go, what's wrong with that? That's like a girlfriend. And I go, I used to do that, but it was just for meals and I wouldn't do anything with them.

And he's like, you wouldn't. You were a bop before you knew it. I would just go for food. Like 100%. I just wanted a good meal. Right. And if the guy asked me out, he could be older, he could be a dork. I was just like, I didn't-

But also the meal and everything lends itself to a nice conversation and you're having a nice evening. Yeah, but he didn't get anything out of it as far as sex. Okay. And I didn't become his girlfriend. Yeah. So I was old school Bop, I guess. Okay, true, true.

Okay. Okay, Tori Spelling is finally filed for divorce. Oh no. And it didn't kind of seem like a nothing story because I thought they were separated. He has a girlfriend. It's been going on for a while. We see all those photos where is she living in an RV

or is she living in an RV or is she just having a fun glamping moment in Santa Barbara? Nobody knew. Why isn't she living at the mom's house? Why was she living at Josh Flagg's house? Where are these kids? What is going on?

There's a lot of that for the last year. Now they're officially getting divorced. And she did the filing and everything around the launch of her new podcast. Yeah, so it'll all be. Called Misspelling. And it's kind of a naked photo of her, which is kind of weird, because it's just you talking.

To promote this podcast. Oh really, okay. I like her, I think she's funny. She's been very sweet to me along the way. Yeah, she's been cool. Well, the two of them came to see us together. Yeah, in Thousand Oaks. In Thousand Oaks. They were very nice. Because he was pursuing to me along the way. Yeah, she's been cool. Well, the two of them came to see us together. Yeah, in Thousand Oaks. In Thousand Oaks.

They were very nice. Because he was pursuing standup at the time. He wanted to open for me. Oh. Yeah, he wrote me on Instagram, like, can I come feature for you a couple of places? We never worked out, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. No, he was totally nice.

He had a podcast called Daddy Issues. Then she had a podcast, several different podcasts with the other girl from 90210. And when I saw that she was getting divorced, I was like, what happened to that one podcast, several different podcasts with like the other girl from 90210. And when I saw that she was getting divorced, I was like, what happened to that one where they just like rehashed 90210, you know, episodes? And I'm like, I wonder when people do podcasts like that, once they've gone through all the episodes, do they just stop?

Because I feel like Office Ladies has been on for like five years. Haven't they gone through all the Office episodes? And then do they just go back and redo them from different cast members? I don't know. I mean, in the case of The Office, and both not out to another, they ran, I mean, you have a lot to choose from, but yeah,

it's still 200 episodes. Yeah, do you go through all of them? Like, and then what do you do? Start over again and have like a different perspective? I don't know. Anyway, I guess she's not doing that one anymore. Yeah. So my point is, if and when, heavy on the when,

I divorce Peter, no, just kidding. I will definitely plan it around, you gotta plan your divorce stuff, your big thing around a launch of something. Okay. Otherwise it's just a waste. Yeah. And so definitely it would be like my tour.

Oh, you have some dates coming up? No, like if it was getting to that place, I'd be like, wait a minute, we're getting divorced, but let me just call Silvio and like get him, get a whole bunch of dates going. It's a good idea. Then you do the TMZ, Heather's, I mean, she would plan so many things

in front of paparazzi. She would have a notebook, like leaving a lawyer's office and she'd like look distressed and then she'd write on the front page, it would be like, custody, alimony, like huge writing. So then all you do is zoom in like what?

And so like, again, whatever. I get it, I get it, girl. But like five kids, I get it. Okay, but so I would, yeah. And it would be like the divorce tour or whatever. And then it'd be like, get ready for all the juicy stories that I've never told of why we're here right now. But right now, right now.

I think, it sounds like you've been giving a little too much thought to this. Unfortunately, I don't think I wanna do that anymore. I'm actually really enjoying Peter again. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, that's good to know. But there was a time when things were. No, there's a time where I was like, well.

I mean, now's the time. Just like a standup that like suddenly gets pregnant or has babies, it's like, oh my God, I'm gonna have a whole new hour or whatever. I came out as gay and I was straight before. I'm gonna have a whole new hour. There's just certain things that you're like, if a big thing happened in your life and your standup is about your life,

you'd be like, you might wanna come to this show because I got a whole new hour talking about whatever. Yeah, well, I mean, I think if you're going to do it. But no, I'm happy, I'm actually very to this show. Yeah. Cause I got a whole new hour talking about whatever. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think if you're going to do it. I'm actually very happy right now. Now's the time. I mean, everyone's getting older. So if you want to have a couple of good years.

I already missed the window. You think so? Yeah. The window to me is the sweet age is like 38 to 44. That's when you want to be back out there. No, That's when you wanna be back out there. No, that's when you wanna get, yeah, get divorced and get out there. Right, okay. Once after that, in my opinion.

The guys aren't as good or? Yeah, it's not as good. You gotta get when all the guys, when everybody's getting divorced and like your kids are still in school. Okay. So there's opportunities to meet other divorced people. I know people are gonna hate this conversation.

I'm just saying as someone who's observed half my friends going through this, I have noticed patterns that kind of work. Right, right. And I feel like, and then some of those people regret it. Listen, they have a lot of fun years or they marry another dick, another asshole, and they're like, I should have stuck with the first one.

So there is a little bit of that. And then we could just be happy and relaxed in our 50s. And I'm not, you know, having to hustle. I'm happy, relaxed, and still married in my 50s. But like, yeah, I feel like there's a sweet window. And once you miss the window, then you should just see. Now you also have to find a place where you're happy and relaxed, but not too relaxed.

Don't you find? Oh yeah, you can't get too disgusting. Yeah, you gotta, it's a very, cause you could get, I'm happy and relaxed as well, but then you don't wanna be like every now and again, you still gotta go out. Oh yeah. To dinner and stuff.

And you gotta meet like new couples and stuff. I don't. I have no desire to meet anybody ever again. I really don't. I mean, that is not my thing. We've tried. It is for me. It is? I like meeting other new couples, I really do.

When's the last time you met like a new couple? I've just met a new fun couple. It is for me. It is? I like meeting other new couples. I really do. When's the last time you met a new couple? I've just met a new fun couple. But, okay, now. You met them once. Have you taken it to another... Like, let's get together again. We've gotten together twice, but it doesn't totally count because

she is a juicy scooper. So... So what does that mean? She's already qualified as a cool girl. Oh, gotcha. She was pre-qualified. If she's, if somebody meets me in as a juicy scooper and like we've hung out in a juicy scoop situation.

Right. And then we hang out, then you are like a pre-qualified for a loan. Like I'm not gonna, like if I was realtor, I wouldn't show somebody that wasn't pre-qualified. Right, sure, sure. So like you gotta be a little pre-qualified for a loan. Like I'm not going to – like if I was a realtor, I wouldn't show somebody that wasn't pre-qualified. So like you got to be a little pre-qualified. Now at this age, just stay with me here.

And maybe I'm just a paranoid weirdo. Sometimes I get like if we meet new couples, I feel like eventually it's just going to become some sort of swinger proposition. I don't know why. I feel like it's odd that we're meeting at this age and now we're going, and then I feel like one day they're gonna be like, hey, you wanna fuck Susan?

I'm like, oh, whoa, I knew it, I knew it. Do you not get that, do you not feel anything like that? Am I crazy? I, I think I have to admit something to you. Oh no. I don't think Peter and I give off enough of a sexual vibe because nobody has ever even hinted at it. Really?

In our 23 years of all, from school aged friends to little league to, you know, Hollywood to whatever. Okay. No, people have never wanted to take it to the next level at all. I'm gonna give you another scenario. So what does that, now I feel like I should be slightly offended that we are not giving off a freaking.

I'll give you something to be offended about. Okay, say, just stay with me. Say you guys had a couple that you were friendly with. Yeah. And they never hit on you in that way. Yeah. You found out later they never hit on you in that way. Yeah. You found out later that they hit on other friends in that way.

Would you be upset about that? You're like, whoa, what are we doing that we didn't get a swinger proposition? You know, I wouldn't be upset about it, but I'd be like, they were right. Yeah. They knew not to, they got the vibe of like, it's not gonna happen.

Also, I don't think these people are gonna be that happening to get with. And- Okay. Yeah. Like we just like our thing the way we like our thing. Yeah, I'm with you. I feel the same way.

But yeah, I would be like, I would think that was kind of funny, but no, I would not be offended because that type of stuff really freaks me out. If there's been hints dropped, then we just dropped, we didn't catch them. Like we just really didn't catch them, you know? Also I think because we don't do drugs.

Yeah. And so I think, I'm not saying now someone's gonna go, I'm a happy swinger and I've been drug free for 25 years. You know that one's a comment. Okay, Susan. But I think that type of stuff happens when you're like, are we up and in a notch? Are we going to do some rails in Vegas? And look at our girls dancing together.

You know what I mean? That's never happened. All right, all right. Peter and I are like, we're in Vegas. We're like, okay, let's eat our fucking face off at a steak place. I'm with you yet. And then go gamble a little and have some drinks. And then we're like, oh my God, we're so tired.

And then I'm wearing some uncomfortable heel and we just go back up to the room. Then we're like, both of us like 6.30 AM, like going to get a coffee and being like, let's walk around the casino. I don't know, it's never, but thank God though. Thank God neither of us has ever been like. Because I feel like that adds a lot of drama to life.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. I mean, some would say, Heather, are you more like brother and sister? And I'd say possibly. I mean, in the end, is that what it becomes? You know, kind of. I mean, not to ruin everyone's relationship.

Chris, tell everybody where they could find you in your exciting life. Well, this weekend, I'm at Tampa, SideSplitters in Tampa, Saturday night, 6 p.m. I do a 6 p.m. show out the door, SideSplitters. Next night, Dania Beach Improv in Dania Beach, Florida, Sunday night, April 7th, I believe. Then I go to Rooster Tea Feathers in Sunnyvale,

California, up there in Sunnyvale. Dallas Hyenas. Your fave. And then I got a lot of places coming up, Boston and all of it. Frangiola.fun. The Juicy Scoopers come out in droves. And they love your standup. I get so many messages. I put it. The Juicy Scoopers come out in droves. And they love your standup.

I get so many messages. I put it in the Juicy Scoop Obsessed page. They love it. It is a damn good time to go see Christian. I love meeting the Juicy Scoopers. In the beginning of the show, I always ask how many people have from Juicy Scoop, and it's a big ovation all the time.

So I love having them there. I love that. I love meeting them. Best audience ever. And that we all have fun. I, of course, will be in Palm Beach. I know, we're so close to each other. At the Cravet Center this Friday and Saturday night.

Two shows a night. Yeah. And so I know there's some tickets left. They are moving, but there's definitely some tickets left. Especially for the later show. What are you doing, straight stand-up out there these days? Or are you doing some juicy scoop and stand-up? This, it's going to be like a little combo,

like hot topics and stuff like that, but this one will just be like a heavy Heather show. Yeah. And then, like you're coming with me to Temecula. We're doing Temecula, California. I have a bunch of other dates and things I'm going to announce. I've got Scottsdale with Brandi and Julie. That's going to be

May 3rd. Okay. And then Denver, Julie's joining me there too. Denver Comedy Works. You've done that one. Comedy Works. That's going to be I think 17th and 18th of May. Then I have the rest of the summer I'm going to announce in a minute. Humphreys is up there July 27th. Oh, that place is great. Everything is HeatherMcDonald.net. That outdoor venue? Yes. Humphreys is up there July 27th. Oh, that place is great. Everything is at heathermcdonald.net. That outdoor venue? Yes. Humphreys in San Diego. You came with me last time. Yeah, it was a good time.

Heathermcdonald.net is where all my stuff is, and you are at. Franjola.fun has everything. I'm in Phoenix too, May 25th I believe. Couple days at Phoenix, a little stand up live. And then I got so many more. Yeah. A bunch.

And so, really, go look at the dates, plan your trips ahead of time. But this weekend. You will never be disappointed. We're both in Florida, Tampa, Dina Beach, and you're in? Palm Beach. Love it. Love it, I have all my cute outfits. Cover to cover is my podcast, come over and listen to that. We have some fun over there as well.

Cover to cover, people love it. Go listen. Always a delight. Thank you. And I'm gonna do a little more topics with you that we're gonna plop on the top of Thursday's show. OK. And then I have a great interview that I already recorded that's super juicy for Thursday.

So. Beautiful. Don't miss out on Thursday.