Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola on Taylor & Travis’ Wedding Drama, Horrible Netflix Women, & Why You Shouldn’t Hike While Fighting

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

Chris Franjola is back in the studio, and we are breaking down the absolute wildest, most unhinged behavior from Knicks fans that will leave you completely speechless. We also get into the massive news about comedian Carlos Mencia’s recent arrest on state tax evasion charges after allegedly failing to report over 8 million dollars in income, and you know we had to dissect Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's rumored upcoming Madison Square Garden wedding, including why on earth she isn't timing it perfectly with the July 4th fireworks. From the nightmare of constantly broken Six Flags rides to the thirsty, exhausting people who pull blatant PR stunts just to get their names in the press, we are covering it all. Plus, we discuss that crazy IVF mix-up case out of Florida where a couple gave birth to someone else's biological baby but happily reached a permanent custody agreement, the latest wild Netflix documentary exposing another horrible woman, and an exclusive inside scoop from Chris about Whitney Houston and why a marital fight means you should absolutely never go on a hike with your spouse. Trust me, you don't want to miss Chris giving me the ultimate update on what is going on with that “Clavicular" guy! -Elevate your summer wardrobe.  Head to ⁠quince.com/juicy⁠  for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. -If you're ready to finally sleep great and feel like yourself again, head to ⁠bioptimizers.com/juicyscoop⁠ and use my exclusive code JUICYSCOOP to get 15% off any order. You'll get great discounts, free gifts, and the peace of mind of never running out. -Get a free can of OLIPOP! Buy any 2 cans of Olipop in store, and we'll pay you back for one. Works on single cans of any flavor, any retailer. Go to ⁠drinkolipop.com/JUICYSCOOP⁠ -Go to ⁠Leesa.com⁠ for 30% off select mattressesPLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code JUICYSCOOP, exclusive for my listeners -Sleep cooler this summer with Boll & Branch during their Annual Summer Event. For a limited time, get 20% off sitewide at ⁠bollandbranch.com/juicyscoop⁠ with code juicyscoop. Subscribe to my new show Juicy Crimes!: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/juicycrimes⁠⁠ Stand Up Tickets and info: ⁠⁠https://heathermcdonald.net/ ⁠⁠ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/cw/juicyscoop⁠⁠ Watch the Juicy Scoop On YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop⁠⁠ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://juicyscoopshop.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopTZFUvAeokrJJ6dQ5wuAW1T3nssO6pHk47u7KymJUBtBgKCvfX⁠⁠ Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HeatherMcDonaldOfficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey y'all. Poodle and Maddie here from Reality Gaze. Grab your favorite thong because for the first time, we're heading to the villa for the new season of Love Island USA. I can't wait to watch Ariana babysit these shiny, oiled up adults who I'm pretty sure aren't there for the right reasons. From the homewrecking bombshells to the absolute wreckage of movie night. Pull up a daybed and join us every Wednesday for all the Love Island USA drama.

Find Reality Gays wherever you get your podcasts. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoot. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoot is the show to know she talks Hollywood Tales for real life Mr. Sagan's serial data and serial sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to real life podcast with Heather McDonald's Jupe, Jupe. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop.

I have your favorite daddy, comedian, model, truth teller. Man of logic, man of the people. I like to think so. Star of cover to cover. Chris Rangelo, welcome back to Juicy Scoop. Thank you very much. Very excited to be here.

I feel like it's been a while. Good to see you. How's everything going? It was great. I wanted to know, were you as excited? excited as J-Lo was when your basketball team, the Knicks won. The New York Knicks. I mean, listen, I will be perfectly honest, I was very bandwagon.

I jumped on the bandwagon. Of course I know the Knicks. I grew up in Long Island. Of course you'd be excited. Every time the Lakers won, we'd be excited. Right. I'd get it. But it was a fun run.

Everybody was real excited. I was in New York at the time. So it was, I mean. Where did you watch it? I watched it in some bars and my hotel room and my brother's place. It was, I never saw a new. York that like lovey-dovey every I mean outside of what you saw you know so some of the other so people being beaten up you know I'm always I always bring up this great moment in sports so nobody

got so excited after they won that they went to one of those horses that have been going crazy that are pulling the carriages and ate the shit no that was in Philadelphia I believe and yeah and that's just special to Philadelphia fans or has anyone done that in any other city besides Philadelphia As far as I know, I think it was just a guy in Philadelphia who ate the horse shit when they won the Super Bowl. Oh, it was Super Bowl. My favorite part of that video is he's wearing a scarf, the guy. Okay, if you can watch it again. And he's got a scarf on it, and he goes to lean over to eat the horse shit.

And the scarf is about to fall into the horseshit. And he grabs the scarf and puts it back. Like, I don't want to get anything on my scarf. I'll eat it. But I don't want to get it on my scarf. Oh. Yeah. Would a puke.

Mm-hmm. There was a lot of like stuff where, you know, you watch these, these celebrations in the street. And they're like, well, of course you do that. Your team won. Like it makes no sense. There was a lot of like, there was a guy sucking some woman's feet and the Knicks celebration. Yes. Just two strangers on the street, a girl, they were drunk or whatever.

She dares the guy in it's all. There's one woman pulls another woman's pants down and is punching her in the ass. You've probably seen all these videos, people. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, it was pretty.

wild. It's fun time. Yes, it seemed fun. It seems like a lot of people are excited. Now, this poor person got, got, it's, uh, article comes out, fire J.P. Morgan Chase executive. NYPD ain't trash in her for a Knicks parade antics. So it looks like there were these cute trash cans. Yeah, it had mixed colors. Yeah. And she wanted one. Uh-huh. And she is a Knicks fans because she's wearing the, the blue and the orange too. But she just took the trash can and dumped all the trash on the street to then take the cute trash can back to her apartment.

And I think the most shocking thing is I have a JP Morgan Chase executive. Oh. And I go into that bank. Uh-huh. And I'm very shocked at the appearance of this person being, if I was to guess, if I was to cast, okay, a stereotypical banker type person. Yeah. is not the look, I would think. Well, I mean, she is in her Nick's gear.

So that's not that you're not getting her professional look. You're right. You're right. Good point. She might look a little different of professional gear. However, there are pictures of her also on the subway going home with the garbage can. Oh, really? She's sitting with the garbage can taking it back to.

Do you think a lot of other people have stolen it as like a memorabilia moment? Oh, probably. They just weren't captured on film. I mean, I think, yeah, I think it's a hot ticket right now. But it's not cool that she dumped the trash. No, I think that was what people. were upset about it. And anyway, she's been fired from her. But the police are not going to do anything about it. And I don't blame them. I think there's bigger fish to fry. I mean,

there's people being murdered on the subway every day and things like that. So I was focused on that. Not every day. Oh, that's right. Don't get on me, crazy Heather McDonald. Every other. But that's fine. Everything's great. I got to tell you this. I've been to New York City a lot lately. It's never been better. That's what I've heard. And I think that's awesome. I'm sorry and maybe it's the Knicks. No, I love that. It is so. Because I was like scared like a few months ago now.

I'm not saying politically. I'm just saying it is great right now. I think that's awesome. Yeah. So I've heard that and I think that is great. We all want things to be better. Real nice. So it's what is how has it changed?

It's just I feel like people are in a good mood. It feels safer. It feels like people out and about more than they've ever been. I feel like the rest, everything's open. Restaurants. Maybe it's summer. You know there's that. Yeah.

But, Yeah, it is, it was the last couple of times I've been there, it had been great. Oh, good. Well, and they won. So it all worked out beautifully. It was very excited. And to help with the New York City image.

Yeah. It is now, seems 99% confirmed that the Taylor Swift, Travis wedding is happening at Madison Square Garden. Okay. It is happening July 3rd. Okay. They're seeing all these things that are proving that, like, it's definitely going to happen, a massive celebration.

You know, big rumor. I know this is a rumor. It's just a rumor. Yeah. But this literally what I looked it up, they're like, it's believed that his brother will be the best man. No shit.

Yeah, exactly. The brother who's the. Yeah. But isn't there a third brother? A lot of times in the football families there is, the one who didn't, you know, just didn't have what it took.

They all have that third brother. What if that's the best man, though? And the other one who's the podcast co-host, what's his name? There's Jason and... Yeah, that he... You know what's really interesting about the podcast world? Is that like, I don't think there's... The NEPO podcasting is really starting to take over.

Oh, yeah? It took a minute. Like how so? Like that wife of the other guy, Jason. Yes, yeah, she's got a big one. Yeah. People are giving podcasts to their wives, their kids. And like it's like, but do you really like it's such an interesting thing because like normally if you were a nepo actress, right.

You'd still have to be a pretty good actress. But in podcast. No one is like, hey, we did a personality test on you and you pretty are pretty dull and you suck. But here's an eye heart contract. It doesn't really matter. No, of course not. Like as long as you can talk. I mean, I feel like podcasting is something that people listen to like in the background.

We might as well just be, you know, white noise for. For some. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I mean, there's just so many to choose from. I'm like, whatever. But like, yeah, of course. Everyone can have one.

Go to college or start a podcast. Well, I'm glad, you know, I'm glad that people are accepting of this one and mine because otherwise I don't know what I'd be doing. I'm grateful for it too. And I'm so happy that everybody else has one as well. Speaking of Taylor, she was all caught up in the Knicks as well. I don't know if you saw. She had fun shirts.

Her and the girls, she was hanging out with the girls from this band called Hime. There's three of them, three sisters, but she was only with two of them. They were courtside. Did you see any of this? And they had their Knicks. They made fun Nick shirts. So whatever, if it said something, Nick in it, they would say, like Nickleback,

the one girl had on, but it was spelled with a K-N. Cute. And then Stevie Nicks, Taylor Swift was wearing, but Nick's spelled with a K-N. And everybody was loving it and hating it, depending upon what side. Now, when you are a celebrity in New York and you have those great seats. Yeah. And it's the finals. Like, is it just we saved a seat for someone as special as Taylor Swift or she's really spending $50,000 a night going and buying those seats for the Jaime girls or whatever?

I think in her case, she might have to buy the seats, but there are some people who they give this. I heard Ben Siller say he's been given the seats, but he's been a fan for a real long time. Like, he's a real Knicks fan. So who gives it, the owner? I think so. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or, I mean, it paid, it's good to have.

That was part of the fun, I think, of the Knicks run. It was also the fact that the celebrities were there. Yeah. I mean, it's fun to see Kylie Jenner on the, on the, you know, on Chalame. Yeah. I love it. So they had a bachelorette party in Rhode Island and then Travis had a one in Nashville. And a bunch.

He's been out here, actually. They went to that private club on Sunset. I heard they were there. They were at Bonnie's beanery last, the night before. Yeah, they did like a whole tour. Yeah, they went to, So they just like hopping on private jets and going places? I guess.

This is, you know, and it just seems to him and his brother. So it's not like it's... Oh, it's not like a bunch of people. And it's not like they're going to strip clubs or anything. They go into Bonnie's Beinery. I mean, I could go there. I had a guest on on Tuesday. Oh.

And he, he's a Gen Z or comedian. And... Oh, Gen Z? What is Gen Z? Gen Z is like, Drake's age. Oh, okay. Oh, so that's really young.

Alpha are the kids that are on the e-bike gangs, the gang members. Those are alphas. Those are the ones driving around malls on e-bikes? Yeah, and they don't give a fuck. Is that right? Yeah, the new alpha boys. How old is that? Like 14?

It's like under, yeah, it's like under, like 14 and under is alpha. And really? And then over that is Gen Z. Okay. And each generation seems to shit on the younger ones. Millennials think that Gen Zs don't work. Yeah. We think millennials are whatever, not that great either.

Yeah. We're just like fucking weird boozers that are the only ones still in the bars. Sadly. Boomers never hugged their kids. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And then alphas are riding eBites that you don't even have to pedal that are little motorcycles.

And they are just, they don't. They don't care. They're like they've been raised on an eye. and they were like, I'm finally on an iPad. Not on an iPad and you better be happy about it, bitch. And then they hop on their bike.

Yeah. I've seen them. They're coming up and down Ventura Boulevard. Those are motorcycles, but they can't, why are they not saying that they're motorcycles? Because you drive them on the sidewalk. If you drove a motorcycle on sidewalk, you'd be immediately arrested.

Drake and I think that the companies that made them knew that this would eventually happen, just like the hoverboards, just like the scooters. So you just had to sell as many as possible before they're, banned. Are they going to be banned? Well, they're banned in certain neighborhoods and things

like that that are able to ban them. Right. You know, the thing is like no one's telling you that your kid has to go back inside and be on an iPad. I mean, there are things called regular bikes. And there are even e-bikes that have just the assist. So when you're going up a hill, you have it.

Something we never have. Remember that they would try to tell us that the 10 speed would help with that? It did not. Well, you're low with the speed. Yeah, well, you try to do the speed and then you're just be like this. I'm going so far. like it's not helping at all. Yeah. It's fun because my daughter just learned her out of bikes and I were biking around the

neighborhood and she's like, I want to be like, why am I pedaling? Like this is gross. Are we poor? I'm like, all right, let's not. Let's just try and pedal. Yeah. Yeah, there'll be no pedaling anymore. I know.

So are we poor. Yeah. So true. Yeah. Oh my God. I rent, I rent one in Montauk when I go. Oh, yeah. electric bike.

I mean, they're great. They're so fine. I remember like four years ago, they went strictly all electric for the rental places. They had no more pedals. Yeah. And I remember one woman yelling at me once.

She goes, those have ruined Montau. This is years ago. She was right. They really have. Because they go fast. Yeah, especially like on a pathway and stuff. Yeah.

You know, they shouldn't. You shouldn't have that because like you can't. Anyway, so now Carlos Mencia was in the news. He is a comedian. He's better. around forever. He's had TV shows and whatnot.

He's probably like, you know, mid-50s now or at least 50, I think. Oh, he's beyond that. I think he's closer. Yeah, he was late 50s, I think. He got in a lot of heat for stealing jokes. He was like the original stealer of jokes. Yeah. And I don't know who he stole, but it definitely like made the news beyond the comedy world.

There was a big joke. What started at all was Joe Rural. Rogan before the podcast, Joe Rogan was like the big shot guy over at the comedy store. And he went up one time with Ari Shafir, another comedian, this is all, you guys don't care. Yeah. But the joke was something about the wall being built, you know, on the border. Okay. And I want to build a wall, but they want all the Mexicans out with the wall.

Who's going to build a wall? That's the joke. Okay. Everybody's done that joke. Right. You know what I mean? Low-hanging for each other. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But apparently Ari Sheffir did it in his act. Carlos Minsky took it. That was a joke that started at all. Oh. Joe Rogan went up on stage at the comedy store, said, basically fuck this guy. He stole this joke.

And that's where it all started. And it's been, I don't know, kind of downhill for this guy ever since. So, well, not that downhill. No, he's, yeah, I know. Because he, according to the New York Post, he has been arrested because he made like $8.7 million since 2018 and basically never paid any taxes on it.

And they wrote him, the IRS wrote him, not once, not twice, 78 times telling him he owes tax money. Yeah. And then they said,

you owe $300,000. And he couldn't pay that. And so then they arrested him because the first I was like, how does this, I just don't get how, like, you go years and years and years and years of never even like flinching on April 15 and thinking like you're this is going to what is how it

going to disappear and it's it's not like you can blame this on your tax man right I don't know maybe you could maybe you really if you did if you maybe you have some weird person that's been paying your bills I know someone that claims that happened to them and they were just so like I'm the artist whatever yeah and then maybe that person never did file the money money and stole from him I don't know he's They said not guilty. They did arrest him, but then they lowered his bail. He was in jail. He was in jail for the weekend. Yeah, they did lower his bail.

So I think he's out now. He's out. And he was in court, showed up in court yesterday, they had before. And he was in full handcuffs, like behind his back. Like, he had murdered somebody. Anyway, I'm shocked that, I mean, I kind of know him a little bit. Yeah.

He does, like, clubs around the country. I always see that he's playing the same clubs I play. Right, right. So where did the eight million come from? Like, I know what? those clubs pay. I know he sells well too, so he probably makes... So I mean, the way I figured the eight million are based on what year it is, it's like, yeah, he was making over a million a year. Yeah. And I don't know. Maybe he has a pocket, maybe other streams of income and things like

that, but he never paid anything on it. Yeah. And then I was like, well, then how is it that that you made $8 million and you only only $300? Yeah, no. That sounds pretty good. Yeah, it sounds like a good deal. Yeah. Well, that's what happens. Like, you owe $5 million, but we'll take $300 to me. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you don't have it anymore. Well, you know, maybe, hopefully makes lemonade out of it and tells a whole, a whole, his whole story of what happened. And maybe it is a juicy story. Maybe it is some uncle that's been stealing from him. Remember it was D. Billy Joel, Dane Cook? Dane Kirk, Cook.

It was his brother-in-law or his brother that stole all the money. Same with Billy Joel, brother-in-law. somebody like that, somebody in the family. Yeah. Okay, Madonna says that her biopic was scrapped by Universal over a big budget. I have to say, I am so bummed, this is not happening. And why can't someone, just like all the lifetime movies about Marilyn Monroe and even people living, like can't somebody just do a movie without her since she's a public figure?

Like, why do we have to just wait for her to approve it and everything? I'm not sure how that works, but, and I think this movie will be picked up. Honestly, this movie will make $700 million. Look at the Michael Jackson one. It's like the biggest, it's the biggest movie of the year right now. It's made a billion dollars. The Madonna one would easily, like how they've not, would be all over this is beyond. I mean, because there's so many stages of her life.

And the hits, like just the music alone would be just, you know, just the era, you know, when she was when she was Hindu cowboy, just that era alone. Hindu cowboy, like, I remember she was one of the first people to get Botox. And I was like, God, she looks good. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because she was like 38. She'd just have Lourdes. She was on Oprah. And I was like, how does she have no wrinkles?

And then I was like, oh, what's this thing called Botox? I mean, I want to know there was one movie, one made for TV movie that came out a million years ago. Oh, yeah? That basically was this female manager's story, which was how she fucked over the female manager. But it was basically the beginning of it, how she was, you know, in just a dance major at Michigan. Yeah. And then got to New York and was like, oh, I'll sing this song. And like, wasn't even really thinking she'd be a singer.

and, you know, was meeting different people, but then it was like, in the end, like then she kind of bailed on the manager to go bigger and brighter, which also I'm like, can you blame them?

Yeah. Well, that happens to everybody. That happens to everybody. Like, I think you might be talking on my jelly bean Benitez. I believe,

I think that was her first, like, boyfriend and manager and all that. Yeah, I mean, Madonna's great as far as far as, I mean, like early Madonna? I want to see everything.

I want to see, I brought up the other day. Sean Penn shooting at the helicopters at the wedding in Malibu. I want to see their love affair start. Chaining her to a chair or something on New Year's Eve. Remember? Oh, that's why they broke that?

You have something like that. If she wanted to go out on New Year's Eve and he said, absolutely not and chained it to a, I don't know, a chair. I want to see her with who is the Warren Beatty? Warren Beatty. I want to see her fall in love with Guy.

I want to know how she decided to adopt the three kids from, I don't know what country they're from Uganda, or something, I'm not sure what it is. But I want to know about that. Okay. Then they said that they were looking into doing a series. Yes. I think I'd rather have, but maybe a movie would make more money.

A movie that you go and everyone dresses like Madonna from different eras. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It would be a whole thing. Get it in the movie theater. Why is that? Why did Universal blow that off? But also, this is like the third time this has been scrapped. Start your Alienware Journey with the streamlined Alienware 15.

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Again, that's 15% off at bioptimizers.com slash juicy scoop when you use my code juicy scoop. If you remember our friend of ours, Diablo Cody, was the first one. She wrote the first original one

and she was hanging out with Madonna and Madonna was involved in it. And this is years ago. And that one was scrapped. And now I believe there was some other one that was scrapped that was the girl from, you know, from who was going to play her, that blonde actress from that movie that show with Jason Bateman, just the drug show. I mean, I wonder if she's just too tied to it. You know what I mean?

Like, and that is what makes it hard is because it's like you've got to step back and be like, you know, just like you're giving an interview. and then they put the interview out. Like you've got to just like tell all your stuff, share all your stuff, but then maybe not, put it in really good hands. Yeah.

And then just collect the check and go to the premiere because I, yeah, I think there's so much to her life. Maybe it would be hard to get it in two hours. I saw the Whitney Houston biopic in the movie theater. Yeah. And that felt very low budge like. I think that was low budge.

But I still enjoyed it. Yeah. Like I still was like, oh, here's her lesbian friend and here's, you know, Bobby. Like, it was still fun to watch. I just think, and the actress that was going to play her was perfect. Yeah, a girl looked just like her. Yeah, that's the one I'm saying. The one from Ozarks.

That's the show I was trying to think of it. And she also played Anna Delvey. Yeah. I thought that was a great match. But I also think, do you have, I mean, you really don't have to have multiple ones because her face is now back to what it looked like when she was 25. Yeah. So you could just have one person do it from like 20 to 70.

There was a real big ass. No, the ass is still there. She made the mistake of getting the fake ass and is still wearing like, you know, the corsets and the nalons when she's performing where I'm like. But the fake ass comes out of nowhere. All of a sudden, like little legs and then this ass. That's, it's almost like it looks like a, what are they? like one of those cake pops?

It does. It looks like a cake pop. Yeah. That's the problem with a fake ass. And I feel like it has to really be done right. Does it? It has to be done right. It has to be done in small doses.

Yeah. Like Kylie Jenner, I feel like they did it right. She's got it right. Well, she let it go down a little. And so did Chloe. Remember, Chloe's was way too big. Clos is a crazy. Chloe's was a double cake prop.

And then she just let it. all go down a little bit, even got thinner, and now it's like really matching nicely. Does it just go down or you have to get it out? So you pull some out. You can get it out because it's filler. Yeah. But you can also build upon it and you can also, but then it, then it does go away. But just like any filler, there's a risk. Yeah. That it can like fall in a corner of your ass and just sit there. I think that's what happened about that. I remember the picture of her like under the bed? She was like crawling under the bed. That was a very strange photo of her.

She's dating that like young guy. But you know, Rocco, there's the son with Guy, Richie. He's like an artist, like a painter. Yeah. And he now just on his Instagram will just show videos of his mom and things like that. So he seems to be back in good races with her. Well, I think at one time when he was a teenager, he didn't want to go on tour with her anymore. And he wanted to live with Guy.

And I think it was just like, He just, it was like, oh my God, you know, what's wrong with this kid? I'm like, maybe he's a straight kid. Yeah. It doesn't really want to be on tour with his mom and the dancers and all that stuff. So what if he wanted to be with his dad at 15th? That doesn't make it bad. But they were both at his like art studio together.

And I thought that was really cool. Nice. And then, yeah, then there's Lourdes. And Carlos Leone still like has a gym. Oh, he does? Yeah. Oh, good. Here in LA?

Where is he doing? I think he's still a New York person. Oh, okay. And, but there you go. I want it. I want so bad. Like, I mean, I've, I've seen all the biopics of late, you know, and there's been a lot of them lately. And they're all pretty good.

I mean, I haven't seen one that I haven't liked yet. You mean lately? Yeah, like the last, like, from the queen one on to the, the one about the, you know, NWA, that one was great. Straight out of Compton was great. I thought the Bob Dylan one was great. So did you love the Bob Dylan one? I loved it. I loved it.

It was Chalemae and the Bruce Springsteen one was good. And then Michael Jackson one was good. I liked them all. My sister just went to see Bob Dylan. Oh yeah. Well, he's not the Bob Dylan then anymore. Well, you know, he's pretty old. And I'm just going to, so he went, I'm just going to go to this one.

He, I said, isn't he like 90? And she said, I think he's 82. Yeah. But she goes, didn't you see the biopic? It's all just that like he didn't really care. So he's not a big performer. But Rod Stewart was performing and he needed oxygen. And they were like, oh my God, he's so old.

But they're like, no, he's just in high altitude. He was in Utah. Yeah. But he is old as well. Like this is, we're in the year and now, which is the first of this. You know, these guys have, we haven't had rock and roll or whatever before this. So for the first time we're seeing these people getting to be 80. There's a lot of them.

There's a lot. And they're all still out there. What's this one's name again? Keith Richards. Keith Richards is still fine. Well, yeah. I mean, they're still singing and moving and shake it. And I think, why do you think they still do it? Do you think it's just because that's what keeps them young and they've done it for so long. They can't not do it.

I think in some cases, yeah. Yeah. I think they probably get bored when they're just sitting at home because these guys have been on tour their whole lives. Right. I don't think they know any different. They don't leave, like nobody's kissing their ass. I think they like the ass kissing.

Like what are they going to do? Suddenly take up gardening. Yeah. And it's the private chats and it's the ass kissing and they can't, they can't let it go. And the ass kissing are from the 18 year old of groupies. Those, I go to some of these concerts. Did you see that that red hot chili pepper guy is 61 and his girlfriend's like 19? Oh, yeah.

Anthony Keatis. Is that real though? I feel like there's a fake picture. I think it's real, but I think it could be from a... I feel like it's from a few years ago. And it could have been she went on one day. Right. And he could have thought she was like 26, but really she was nine.

I don't know. That's gross. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what else I want to talk to you about. Okay. This is going to really make this girl's day because I'm going to talk about her. And clearly this is what she wants.

What she wants. Jenny? There's no thirstier person. The thirstiest? This is the thirstiest. The thirstiest thing I've ever seen happen. She has been thirsty for 20 years now. We're talking about Jenny Mullen.

She used to be in our world a little bit. We were, she was in our world because she was one of those girls that popped on Twitter. Yes. They were a Twitter comedian writer. Right. And there were three of them that popped during our era. And as we were working our ass at Chelsea lately trying to get TV deals on the side and things. Uh-huh.

these Twitter people would get them. And, you know, we're like, what the fuck? But anyway. Yeah. So it was her. It was that this other girl that was a Canadian. Yes. Who was married with kids.

Yeah. And then there was that other girl that was like, Jenny something from Houston. She was a Houston reporter. She was a Houston reporter. She's a comedian. I know her a little bit. Yeah. But they were like big on Twitter.

Yeah. And Chrissy Tegan. All like making waves. And so then somehow When Twitter first came out. Yeah. So then somehow, I guess she was already married to Jason Biggs and then got to get to know the Chelsea lately people.

And they now announced they're getting divorced after 18 years. Yeah. And she has said like I always, I never felt like, she said something like it was always about his career or whatever. And I'm like, well, you married. And not that he's like kicking it like huge right now. Like you married someone that was already like big. And you sense made a social media presence,

had several books, like you've done pretty well for yourself as far as like making career. Off the coattails of bigs, yeah. So anyway, they're getting divorced and like Chrissy Teigen, I think some of her inappropriate jokes that got her in trouble was her attempt

of not being funny and trying to be funny. Right. Now other people argue with me and say no, she's Illuminati and eating babies. I'm saying. Chrissy Teigen? Yes.

I'm saying, no, I think she was emulating what was funny at the time and trying to be funny. Right, right. I believe that, but whatever. That's just my opinion. And so in this, she was doing, and as someone who's been doing boy mom jokes for 10 years, it's not original. It's not original in material. There's an entire thing. All I've done to go on was on TikTok and type in boy moms

and there's tons of videos and comedy and everything. And I've talked about a lot of it. So she goes and she does this post where she is on top of her 12-year-old son hugging on a bed and wrote something like the worst, the most toxic relationship you could have is with your first-born male or something. People attacked her for it

because they say sometimes women, especially divorced or single women, women can sometimes make their son like their husband. Not necessarily sexually, but just putting too much on them, whatever. Right. And now she never took down. And now she's just riding this way for publicity.

And now she went on some podcast or something and said, actually, he's the predator. He's been after me for 12 years. He won't stay out of my bathroom. He can't get enough of me to then rage bait more people. Right. And now hopefully people will just be like, oh, fuck you, Jenny Mullen.

Like, just shut up. I've already done the fuck you, Jenny Mullen years ago. I was, I'm in that camp. I'm in the, but, but, like, just stop. Like, you know what? In the end, it's your fucking kid. Right. It is your kid.

He's 12. He has a life. He has a name. Yeah. He has friends. Stop. Right. Just like, stop using him for material in that way.

I, I'm grossed out by it. I know I've talked at nauseam about people that exploit their kids in that way, whether it's telling too many stories about them that are not appropriate on social media, on your podcast, on your reality show, showing them on, like, it doesn't matter. It's not just a guy downloading a photo of your daughter eating a popsicle and what he might do with it. It's also the stories where you're like, imagine if you, Matt, go back to when you were 12.

Yeah. When we were 12, if our dad. picked us up from a movie theater. We're like, Dad, you're so embarrassing. You know, like, imagine your dad is talking about your period and doing a whole thing on social media because he's trying to be a dad influencer. Like, shut up. Like, how can you not think about your child who's fucking 12?

I have a daughter. She's going to be seven. So are you saying just ice cream sandwiches from here on out? No popsicles? I don't. I wouldn't feel. her sucking out. I wouldn't film her eating a popsicle and posting it. I don't put her on. I don't put her on. You really don't. I think honestly, and I'm not just kissing your ass, I think you handle in 2026 being a comedian who talks about his life and his family. I think you do it perfectly. I think I did it pretty perfectly. I did not. People didn't even know. I thought I talked about my kids a lot on the panel. I'm in my stand-up and whatnot. And I remember I did tell the kids, I don't want you to watch my first stand-up special until you're 16. because it might embarrass you the little funny jokes I say about, you know,

you take in a dump and your little toy fell in the next to the toilet. You know, like there was a story about that. And one day Brandon did see it before he was 16. He was like nine. And he was laughing at the parts that I was joking about Drake. But then he did not like the parts about him. Yeah. And I was like, well, you're right.

Like you shouldn't have seen it. but also now nobody cares. You know, and my daughter doesn't care that I did a whole bit about her mom saying broccoli and like she doesn't care and didn't care then. Yeah. But as someone who's lived through it, you have to be careful.

And this just lasts so much longer than what was going on with us 10 years ago. So. Well, yeah, that's why, I mean, go away. I mean, not to ruin what you just said, but I just dropped my daughter off. She goes to a camp, summer camp, out in Malibu. So I drop off of the bus kind of right here.

Fun, perfect. Take some bus over to Malibu. And I guess there's rules these days about sunscreen. You know, it's a new thing. We, of course, didn't grow up in that era. So there's a lot of sunscreen applying. Right. And there's rules about who can apply, when they can apply.

Yeah, I can't apply, blah, blah, blah. And that's all fine. However, they apply it six times a day. So when I go pick my daughter up at 4 o'clock, It's almost laughable. How white she is? When she first walked off the bus, I'm like, what is happening? It was, I'm like, this has to be a joke.

And I'm like, no, that's what we have to do. Remember that movie, powder? She looked like powder. I was like, this is ridiculous. She's going to be fine. I couldn't get it all. It's like waterproof. I had to, I mean, I needed a power washer.

I had to put her out in the yard like a car, like an automobile. You know what I would do with my kids? I would take the spray. That's how lazy I am. And I'd go, close your face, which means hold your breath, close your mouth, close your eyes. And then I'd spray them, spray them, spray them, spray them.

And then I'd just be like, keep holding your breath, keep holding your breath. Now you can open, done. That's the way. Yeah. I don't know what they do. It's craziness. Craziness.

Well, she's not getting sunburned, but she's not getting tan either. That's what I am. And she's got that skin too. She'd look gorgeous. I'd let her tan a little bit. I heard it's back. I heard tanning's.

back. I remember when we went on a trip, and I was talking about sunscreen or whatever. I'm like, do you want some sunscreen? And you go, we're like in cover or whatever. And you're like, no, when I come back, I want to look like I've been somewhere. Yeah. I can't anymore, you know, because every doctor's like, oh, my God, you're going to die. I'm like, I'll forget it.

Yeah, so now I got to look like. That's what I kind of watch these love islands and stuff. You know, those shows, Love Island? Yeah. I'm like, what about the sunscreen? I feel like if I was on Love Island, I would look like a gray garden. over in the corner of Big Hat. Is that guy coming to the Love Hut?

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When your free will was about to be taken from you, what would you do if it was given back? Where did that need come from where you thought that you had to succeed in order to feel loved? He said, I have a work dad. I need a home dad. What happens next? When I came in he started crying. Everybody in life encounters hardships. What defines them is not those hard moments that they go through. It's about what happens next.

I decided to risk it all. I realized how valuable every day was. You're worth of work. Listen, Dar, I'm not going to pull punches. You can use your voice even if it's shaped. The stories are different, but the impact. is the same. Only one question matters. What happens next? I mean, they're the perfect people because they're like 22 and they no one can tell them to put on sunscreen like the preschool.

And they also feel like they're invincible. So they are going to get tanned and go for it. How was your your trip? Was it when you're out on a boat? I mean, is it? I got a little summer to my back, but I mean, I'm pretty good about applying it. Yeah. And, you know, but, uh, yeah, I mean, you, you almost feel like sometimes when you're out, like in that bright sun, you feel like your skin cooking, you know? Yeah. So, but I mean, I just saw this guy around here and it's like they've got the full coverage.

I didn't even know if it was a guy or woman, but like, and maybe they do have skin cancer and they still want to walk out. But it's like they have the thing covering all the way down to the hands. Yeah. The full cover the face. And then I'll see people, women that. are like, if you want to look young, you know, stay out of the sun forever. And I'm like, yeah, but like, what kind of life is that?

I know. I mean, yeah. Like you're never going to go outside. Right. I do remember Stevie Nix said that. The reason she looks so young is because she'd party all night and sleep all day. Oh. So she never was in the sun.

It's a good way to do it. Sure. My father, I mean, I got to cut in a guy up like a, like a filet mignon. Every time I see him, he's got more scabs on. The removal. Well, Eric Andre, the comedian, is in some movie. It's just like a Netflix movie. Yeah.

It's called like Big Brother, a little brother. You know a John Cena. And he did a whole funny thing where he called it like a, he comes out. And his outfit just keeps falling off until he's down in his underwear. It got torn off by the car. He got out of the car. Hi, everybody. and then the car door shut and it tore off his whole outfit.

So obviously it was a planned out prank. Yeah. You know what? You know, it got us. I wouldn't have known about the movie. So I don't think it's necessarily a horrible idea. Yeah. But I don't even know what his deal is.

Some people find him really funny. I don't know that he's unfunny. I just don't really know his material. I kind of like him. I do remember when he dated, um, Emily. Emily Radicouts,

whatever I'm famous. remember when they were that was such a weird moment i think it was fake it was for like something i think they were doing a bit i mean jenny mullen needs to be friends with emily i'm sure they are in new york and they just need to do thirst PR moments right and left is she didn't she write a thing called like motherfucker or something where she talked about all the men that she stated since she's been you know with with child she did an article for cut and she wore cute jacket with her tits out, which are nice tits. And it's a doll that she put on her boob.

Yeah. And a glass of wine to say like having having a baby with the wrong man is the worst thing that you can do in your life. Yeah. Which I would say the same thing for a man. Right. Having a baby with the wrong woman is the worst thing you can do to your life. And then just like how hard it is to date and find a guy because she's so ugly.

Yeah. I'm sure it's real tough for her. Yeah. Like some guy is nice. But here's what she does wrong. She's looking in the wrong pool of men. You know, like if this girl went for a plumber, she'd have a nice life.

Trust me. She'd find a plumber who'd be like, oh, of course I'm going to take care of you. Look at you. You know what I mean? I just, I mean, I think she's still stunning. I've met her because we were at the same podcast network for a minute. And we had to do something in New York.

And I did see the ass in person. What does it look like? like. It's perfect. I mean, it's really, it's really good. It's totally proportioned. It's real. You know, it's pretty. Because I follow her on Instagram and it's a good, it's a good, I mean, she gives you what you want. You know, she's, she gives, it's fun. Yeah, that's what it is. And so anyway, I mean, somehow she's parlayed that into like, I'm a writer. I'm a, and then they gave her a big podcast. And she literally never promoted it. And I remember, I'm like, like, so you guys gave her this big podcast deal because she has 8 million followers who are

looking at her ass. Yeah. Do you think they're going to listen to her twice a week for an hour? I didn't. I mean, like, yeah. Like it doesn't always parlay. Right. And I think they realized that.

They tried actress for a minute, too, if you remember. She was in, I believe she was in Gone Girl. She was in Gone Girl. I feel like that's the only thing. Is that the only thing she's better? I mean, no, she made it because she was in the Allen Thick. Robin Thick. Robin Thick.

Yeah. The son of Allen Thick. Yeah. And then she said, I didn't really want to be naked or something. Yeah. Blurred lines. Yeah. Oh, those were the, remember when that song came out?

Oh, that was my best summer ever, I think. Yeah. Blurbed line. Anyway, I am going to do the shoot and I'm going to do two little babies on my tits. Yeah. And then tell the story. about my life and then I didn't breastfeed at all. Oh, there you go.

That's a good. Yeah, I'd read that. Six Flags, Tara, there is another awful thing that happened in Georgia at a Six Flags. And this kid filmed it and they were stuck up high in the sky. I feel like there's been like five of these that have happened in the last month. Yeah, one just happened on Long Island where I used to go as a kid, Adventureland. It happened there just like yesterday. Did anyone die?

No, they were just stuck for a while. Oh, my God. I'm so glad those days are over. Going on rides. Oh. Yeah. I had to go on so many. There was one.

We were in Six Flags. And of course it was hot as shit because it's Valencia. And there was this one. I forgot the name of it. But it's like a twisty. I don't know. And we did it because I always went with the boys. I always said I would do it.

And I had these shorts on. And, you know, I'm sweating. Yeah. And I really felt I was going to fucking slide out of this thing. It was like a hand or whatever. And it was the most terrifying thing. And after that, I'm like, I'm never, ever going on that one. I think it was called Viper or something.

I think it's X2. X2. I'm like, I am never, ever going on that because I really felt like the sweat. I could have slid out from underneath. And all of those ones. And then finally, I was like my whole life, even when I was little, I was like, one day I'll be rich enough to rent this park out and not have to wait in line. Or whatever.

Well, they don't have that. But in the last 20 years, they made it that you could buy like front of the line passives. At Magic Mountain, Disneyland, I mean, 6 o'clock, which was expensive, but it wasn't out of hand. Like, you're going to go one day. It's worth it, you know? And we'd kind of evaluate the crowd and we'd be like, okay, let's do it. Well, then we would do that. And then we would go on so many crazy rides so quickly that we were like, like, I think one

time Drake threw up, like we got sick. Like, like, because you're just, you know, the whole point, you kind of need that hour and a half and watch the, the couples that are pregnant at 15 making out and fingering each other in line. And then you walk two steps and then make out, make out, walk two steps. And I mean, think about it. Well, we, we didn't, there's not as much make out happening because people have phones. But in my day, we didn't have phones. And we would just watch people like at eight years old, just watch people just making out. And I just remember we were like, you know, taking so long a day.

crowd as hottest day you know what my dad said he was going to take my sister and i or whatever and these little kids like you know 12 year old boys were like going underneath the things like to jump ahead they didn't give a shit and my marine dad fucking took this kid by the neck and like was like get the you're like get back in line and i was like oh like i mean of course he'd be like arrested today but that little then those kids like weren't going to cut in line but those were the those were situations, you know. Yeah, I fortunately never went anywhere with my family. So yeah, we didn't have any issues. That was pretty good. We just stayed home. I still, and people again are like, I can't believe Heather that you are such a disgusting pig that you would do this. But I like going to Hurricane

Harbor. That's the water part, right? That's the water one attached to Match Mountain in Valencia. And I like it. I don't like going on the scary death ones, but I like going on a tube. Right. That's not overly scary for me. We used to go. It was fun to me. The one that there's a documentary about it. It was called Action Park in New Jersey. Yeah. We used to go there as a kid.

And we called attraction park because it really is as bad as it says in this documentary. It was shockingly. Unsafe. Everybody would get hurt there. Yeah, we go there. Not with my, you're like my friends, not with my family. Yeah. I think I've ever gone to amusement park.

And it's been a while. We go to Universal Studios. My daughter likes that. We go early in the morning and we stay for a couple hours. get the hell out. That's the best when you could go a little, like just for a little bit. I just remember always feeling like when I'd walk back, like, and it's that summer and it's just starting to get cool and you've done the whole day and you've stayed for the fireworks

and it's fucking midnight. It is a feeling like I am the greatest mother that ever lit. Like it is a massive accomplishment. I'm like, we stayed really long. We ate. We did all the rides. I'd count up the ride. rides in my head just like I did with a little we got ice cream like we're done it's it's it

and we're done and then you'd lay down and you'd feel your body still going on the roller coasters and did you ever win anything like at the in the games you know we never would waste money on things like that you're fucking kidding my daughter loves to get and the crap you know we have to get we get and like oh because we don't we don't win yeah blow up the balloon on the clown's mouth you know blow squirt the water in a clown's mouth the balloon blows up and then she always wants to big one. And I'm like, well,

yeah, they're going to do the big. They eventually just sit there all sad in a garbage can, you know,

just this big. It's not something you keep forever. You know, I think my dad did. My dad would do that for us.

My mom would never. Yeah. But then she like, one time we went there and my mom wasn't feeling well that morning and we're like,

mom, because my parents worked, it was like, it's on the calendar. They finally cleared their day and we woke up and she was really

not feeling well and we were like making her feel so guilty. We were like, mom you said we'd go to match mat and we have to go in the summer in valencia we went there and within like the first like hour she was like i don't feel good i don't feel good so she went to like the little like infirmary clinic yeah and then she just slept all day and she said it was the

best day of her life and we'd come and visit her like every three hours oh she was like in at the park still she was at the park like in an air condition like nursery thing a nurse and she just was sleeping there just like it was like her first day off from like real estate like five years and And I just like, we just were like, okay, I got like, whatever. And she's like, it's fine. Just go keep, just go to go back to bed. Like, this is the best. And what you know what I was thinking about is, you know,

Fourth of July is on a Saturday. Yes. And how great for the people that planned their wedding. And then they don't have to pay for fireworks. No. And that's why I'm. Like they could do a wedding on Friday, the day, Saturday day and then fireworks at night. Yes.

Yeah. And being a place where you can make sure that your venue will see fireworks. That's perfect. But you know there's some relatives that are probably like, can you believe that Jennifer is having it on the 4th of July, that she knows I make my annual jello mold. We have our little parade. We have our lake parade. I don't know that I want to go all the way to so-and-so to have her wedding. But I hope a lot of people realize that's a great fucking day for a wedding and you get the free fireworks. And not only is it, is it, it's a 250th anniversary of America. Right. But I think.

I thought if you celebrate that, then you get canceled. You're there's a little bit of that thing. You know, that you can't be too proud. Yeah, right, right. You better make sure you don't know that it's true. That's why I think she's having it on Friday. Yeah.

That's why I think Taylor Swift is having her wedding, allegedly, on Friday the third. Okay. So it's not competing. Because I think probably in her defense, the overly Americana people will be like, you shouldn't be celebrating your wedding on the 250 years of soldiers dying for America. And then other people would be like, we always knew you were, you know, a super whatever. Right.

I don't even want to say the word person. Maga? Yeah. Oh, I don't know what you were trying to get at. Yeah. She'll be accused of Maga if she has it on the fourth. And if you do it. So she's doing, that's why I think she's doing it on the third.

Yeah. But for a regular person, you're going to save a lot of money and you're going to have fireworks. Like Madison Square Garden makes no sense to me. Is it going to be a concert or something? I mean, Madisonville Garden holds 18,000 people. I think what they're. And it's not like a good, it's not a pretty, it's not a pretty venue or anything like inside.

Do they bring in, I've never been there. Do they bring in like folding chairs for the concert? Well, they could. There was a floor seats. It's where the Knicks play. So, okay, so there's not regular seats that you can't move. So they clear out all the seats. and then they just have a big enclosed space.

Well, they can't clear all the seats. There are seats that are, you know, bolted to the ground up above. Okay, well, those they don't need. Floor seats, yeah. So they use all the bottom part and then they just bring in like the best decorators, whatever, and they do twinkly lights and fake flowers

and all the things. And then they're protected by safety and helicopters and everything that they couldn't enjoy at, you know, Not a Rhode Island house on the sea, though, I think that would be... I don't think they're going to do fake flowers. I don't think it's a case in there. Not going to have a couple. I don't have a dollar tree flowers.

No, there'll be all flowers and all, you know, and furniture. It'll look like it'll look like you walked into the most beautiful hotel ballroom. But maybe, maybe, keep touching you, I'm sorry. Maybe, you know, also they were like hotels are not safe enough now. Yeah. Because other people stay at the hotel. Are they going, here's what I've, I've seen people do this. I think I had a friend who did it.

I don't know how, but marry, you get married in St. Patrick's Cathedral. Okay. Which is up on Fifth Avenue and whatever. Right. Beautiful. And then you, the whole procession goes down Fifth Avenue to Madison Square Garden. Would that be what they're doing? Because I feel like to get married in Madison Square Garden, the look, it doesn't look nice inside.

I feel like you could get married in a beautiful church or something. where it's going to look nice. I just think she's such a big star that this is being done to have it the way she wants it and have it be the safest and the most protected. Yeah. Oh, maybe there's that. I mean, also, she's not from New York and neither is he. Like, I feel like Madison Square Garden is like a place.

If you were from New York, I could see. If you're Billy Joel, sure, you play the garden. I get it. But like it's, or if you're a New York Knicks. I can't wait to see. Like all the other brides. kissing with the fireworks over the lake who got married on Saturday. Where will you be for the 250th birthday of America?

I'm just going to be here. Oh, you're going to be, yeah. Are they doing something? We don't get fireworks right here, but we can go just down the street and see them. But I am such a fan of Fourth of July that it is really rare that I am still awake and sober by the time the fireworks happen.

Yeah. And so this year I am not going to start to partake. in the real fun until like silver clock you got to do them late i mean it doesn't get really dark until like 930 yeah so if you start having your first cocktail at 12 uh-huh it's gonna be a long day you're done you're done there's no way you're making it till 930 it's physically impossible yeah and i but i right now my plans are still up in the air well i got an invite which i thought i i could show you the picture yeah it's kind of funny the way it was worded uh in the hamptons where i'll be and i thought they need to work on their wording for this invite.

Here it is, ready? First ever, all-white brunch coming to the duck walk vineyard in water mill. I just thought, whoa, whoa, whoa, I think you need to word that differently. Yeah, right? I mean, is that an interesting way to word it? The first ever all-white brunch in the Hamptons? Aren't they all in the Hamptons, the brunches? All-white.

Yeah. It's about clothes. This is what I would do if I was going to have a white party this summer. You got to call it a white party. can't say all white brunch. I wouldn't call it a white party. I would say, you know, it's a party, whatever. And then I'd make sure to wear all white. That's how I would do it. And also like attire, all white attire please. And also associated with P. Diddy. He ruined the white party. I don't think you do white party anymore. What's another color that makes everybody look good?

Pink. Black. Black does, but you can't. Pink is good. 95 degrees. How about you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do a turquoise party. Oh, okay. Why turquoise? First of all, I just realized, I just don't think I can handle having parties. They stress me out.

Oh, I can't. Oh, yeah. They totally, I finally realized in my age of life that I always imagine having a fabulous party. Yeah. But the few times I've had a party, the lead up to it, it's too emotionally stressful for me.

I went to a party at your house years ago, And at the party, there was swag being given out. That party was good because there was this weird PR company that did the whole thing for me. That I loved. And I got it. If someone was to come to my house, do a whole PR thing, bring the food. And all I had to do was go upstairs, get cute, come down and everybody was there and it was set up. And there was like a fortune teller there.

I would do it. That party was good. That did not stress me out. That I loved. I think I told you before. I got a hairdry at that party. They gave out free hair dryers at the party. I still have it to this day.

I don't think I could live without it. It looks, my wife was like, this is the most embarrassing thing. It's so broken and battered. And one time I left in the hotel room and I ran back to get it and the housekeeper already had it in the garbage. And she goes, oh, I thought it was junk. I'm like, junk, how dare you? It's my favorite thing I've ever had. Yeah.

I love that. Yeah, so I still have it. Yeah. And the fortune teller I remember did predict, nothing for me, but predicted some, predicted a pregnancy that came true. Oh, really? Yeah. Anyway, okay, let's see what else.

Speaking of pregnancy, this Florida couple has reached an agreement. So they were going through IVF. Okay. Where they had a biological embryo, her egg, her husband's sperm, and they went for the retrieval to then put the embryo in the mother. So now she's carrying her own child. That's her husband as well. she is carrying it.

The baby comes out, they're both white, and the baby comes out and clearly looks Indian. Oh. Yeah. Okay. And she's a little girl. And so they're like, okay, we pretty sure this is not our embryo, not our baby. But, of course, she carried her. She loves her.

Right. It takes a while to figure out who the parents are. They do the DNA testing immediately realize she is not their biological child. through the clinic who obviously fucked up. Yeah. You know, they switched the bottles or whatever. Yeah.

And then they find the parents and they, the parents agreed to let them. Yeah. Keep her and raise her. But they're going to like be able to still have the biological parents in her life. Oh, that's nice.

But it's so. Just dump it into this one. Just dump it in there. That's, I don't know. I don't know though. I feel like it's. So listen, as the mother who carried the baby.

Yeah. I'm guessing if she's gotten to this place, she's probably had multiple miscarriages. They've probably spent already hundreds of thousands of dollars to get a baby. Right. And they got a baby and they love the baby and they've bonded with the baby. So I understand why 100% they want to keep the baby. Right. But if I was the one who that was my embryo and there's already one that's fully cooked,

and born and been well taken care of, it would be really hard for me to be like, you can keep her. Because now I still have to go, find another embryo to be successful. Right. So I don't, it's just such a crazy, but it's like a beautiful thing that they, like, agreed.

I feel like it was also a great trope for like every movie in the 80s. Wasn't this like every Jad Apatel movie? Wasn't there a lot of, like, well, not within in vitro, but like switched babies switch babies yeah

switched babies a lot of switched babies yeah and also like older siblings would always tell you that you were either adopted or switched to birth yeah that's always nice

I guess it's fine because how do you know they know they were there when you came home or when you dropped up at the doorstep or when your parents went to adopt you that was always something older siblings said to like

fuck with you I remember when my daughter was born it was you know there was of course the coming out and all that. And it was a quick like, oh, there she is. And then it was a quick like, we're going to take her now and like do a bath or something. Yeah.

I remember. And I was like, oh, that's okay. So then my wife and I were like sitting in the room both like, okay. And then they came back with her. And I'm like, well, how do I know that's her? That's why now sometimes, I mean, if you, I'm sure if you chose. Yeah. You could say, I'll go with you.

A lot of times the dad or another parent or whatever will go for the bath. and the weighing and the checking and all of that. But usually they like, at least with my kids, they like cleaned them up and you take a photo, then they take them for like a more better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I still think you could insist. That I go with them.

And you can always insist that the baby never leaves your room and all that. Yeah. I was okay with it though. I was like, you can take the baby. Yeah. I mean, I think my wife was that way. And you can, yeah. But.

I think she is mine. Now we went to a diner the other day and we don't. She ordered black coffee in an omelet. Black coffee and scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns. The boringest breakfast ever. My daughter doesn't like this because she says the pancakes are soggy at this diner. Doesn't like a soggy pancake. Anyway, we happen to run into one of her school teachers there.

And should we talk? And then she leaves and I said, oh, she must live around here that she came here. And my daughter goes, or she goes pretty far distance for soggy pancakes. And I was like, oh my God, you want my daughter. So, yeah, we have that going for us. Oh, my God. If you know a crispy pancake. Yeah.

Anywhere in the L.A. area. Please, because she doesn't like soggy ones. Like a crisp edge. They put like ice cream on the pancakes and it sogs it up. Yeah. A little too much. I agree. I agree.

I always remember one of my favorite stories about, that's not my favorite. I mean, it's just a weird story. But this woman, she had. twins and the sperm that went in her, there was a little leftover sperm from someone else. And she got fraternal twins and one was white. She was white and one was black. I think we talked about that on one of the early juicy schools. Yeah.

And then the husband was just like not having it. And she was like, I don't care because they were her kids. Both were her kids. Right. I mean, it's kind of a cute story. Fine. Get rid of that asshole. But I mean, again, didn't clean out.

the thing. This was great. This is from quote. Speaking of pregnant, did you watch this documentary? Yes, maternal instinct. Yeah. I mean, it's absolutely horrible. It's on Netflix.

I spoke a little bit about it on my Patreon, but the story of this girl, it's the lies, the pathological lying that happens before you get to the place of lying about a pregnancy.

And then before you get to a place of murdering, a woman to steal her baby to hopes to make that baby appear to be yours. Right. It is so diabolical. Is she still alive? Like in prison?

She's on death row. Wow. She's like one of the only, she's the youngest woman. That's what it is. Youngest woman on death row. And she's still on there. Like she's not going to get off of it.

I haven't watched it yet, but of course I know what happens. But this said every time we think, Netflix has found the worst human alive, another true crime doc drops. And it was the girl from eternal instinct, Taylor. Then there was the McKenzie Crash Girl. Crash Girl.

Where I just saw that she, whatever, her appeal has run out. So she's going to stay there. And then the mom that was cyberbullying her own daughter. That one I watched. That one was shocking. That one is such a fascinating. That one I think was made.

was maybe my favorite because it didn't involve murder. Yeah. But what a fucking freak. Oh God. It was wild. And what a, and I'm also fascinated by women that just are so into like that they're teenagers lives and like,

either they're screwing their boyfriend or they want to screw their boyfriend or in this case bullying their own daughter to make her like insecure and weird so she'd be more dependent on her mother. Like it is just. It's always so funny. I often think about. what you said a few months ago that when years ago we probably most of us if we saw one it would probably be too many it was like we all saw like one documentary in our entire lives right you know and now

you see 15 documentaries a month like just I know sometimes they're just like we don't need this yeah you know it's like well this doc is about there was a thing called a mall yeah people used to walk and shop in there. What? Like, I mean, it's like gotten that mundane. Yeah, because people love them and they, they, you know, you don't always get ones as good as with the, you know, the woman cutting babies out of people. Or just being on this earth long and being into pop culture and crime, I'm like, there's never a new one. So I'm just imagining these documentary people sitting around

and going, all right, what was like a couple weird like pop culture stories that hasn't been done yet? Yeah. How can we stretch this? out to three episodes. And who can we interview from it? And, you know, who gets paid? And I don't

know. Like, yeah. Sometimes I saw one the other day and I was like, sometimes I don't finish them. Sometimes I'm just like, sometimes I look up and I'm like, what is the spoiler of this? Because I'm like, this is just going nowhere. Yeah, I can't do that. Like the model one that you sent me?

Oh, yeah, it just, I didn't even watch it. I saw it trailer. It wasn't juicy at all. Oh, yeah, I haven't heard anybody talk about it. No, it was this guy again, you know. And the way they do it, it's like the music and it always involves Studio 54. I'm so sick of documentaries. We get it. You didn't have to wait in line to get into Studio 54.

Guys were free to be gay there. Yeah. You were 15 doing Coke and a model. I am done hearing about Studio 54 stories. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'm kind of fascinated. I mean, of course, I never been there.

but I'm fascinated by it. I love it. I love the era. It's kind of a good party theme. Yeah. If you want to do Coke. That's a great one. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Oprah, Whitney Houston's estate denies Oprah's claim that the singer was high on her show. Well, sorry Whitney Houston's estate. We all had eyes. She was, yeah. When she said crack is whack. Yeah.

And she was on crack. Like, we don't, we. I don't know if I've ever told this story publicly, but I'll tell it now. Please do. Somehow when I was waiting tables years ago, in a weird way, we befriended a guy who owned private jets. He owned, like, quite a few. He had like a business where he leased private jets.

And every now and again, he would have a jet available for whatever. Nice guy. His name's Wayne. I still know him. Anyway, one time he was like, hey, you guys want to go to Vegas on a private jet? I leaving out of Van Nuys Airport. Me and a couple of the other waiters, like, absolutely. We'll stay for a couple days, blah, blah, blah.

I never heard this story. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so we pull up to Van Nuys Airport and they're like, well, the jet plane's not ready yet. We need to clean the plane. Who says that? The guy? So we only have like one flight attendant on a private jet.

Usually have like one. The flight attendant says it. Yeah, the flight attendant comes out. So you're sitting in the little lobby? No area. We sit in the lobby. Yeah. Yeah.

She's like, just stay here for a little while longer. We need to clean the jet. Okay. And they took a while. Where were you guys going? Van Nuys to Vegas to Vegas. Okay. So we're not Van Nuys at a private airport.

And we, We get to, you know, on the plane, finally it's clean. And the woman says, Whitney and Bobby just got off. They just landed and they got off. And I've never seen anything quite like it. What they did to this plane in whatever. I don't know where they came from. I think just Vegas.

So it was pretty short flight. And they said it was destroyed. That that's why it took so long to clean it. No, they had got it and cleaned out by the time we got on it. You would never know. But she said it was literally like there was shit. and it was wild. So yeah,

I feel like she was, remember, like the, remember Whitney and Bobby like the TV show where they went in their bathroom one time? Wasn't there an episode

where you like pulled shit out of her ass or something? There was also on Mad TV, I forgot her name, but a very funny actress would do her. Yeah.

Do a really good impression of her and it was just her just sweating profusely because she was. Yeah. She was. And, And speaking of Whitney Houston, you know, Clyde Davis just died too.

Yeah, Clive Dave, 92. Yeah, he was in the movie. Yeah. Kind of about his, basically his point of view. Right. How he discovered her, how, like, he wanted to keep her safe. Then one day she shows up and he's like, this is my boyfriend. And she's like, oh, great.

Like he then came out. It's gay like halfway through life. And, um. Clive Davis was gay? Yeah. I didn't know that. According to the, really? Whitney.

Wow. Biopic. And I always wonder like when she was found in the hospital, like that they still went on with everything the next day. I mean, you guess you have to. Right. But it was weird. And then remember her daughter died? Yeah.

And then didn't her boyfriend die too? No, the boyfriend found the daughter in the bathtub as well. Yeah. And the boyfriend they had adopted. Yeah. Bobby Christina. But the boyfriend they had adopted as like kind of a daughter. I don't know, but it was like her brother. But there were a couple. Sad times. Okay. Here's some more sad times. This is going crazy in India. These are some really, really, really wealthy Indian people. And they were planning on having their wedding. And this girl and her fiancee who is like, you know, this is going to be like whatever, like a $1.7 million three day Indian.

wedding flying people in it was a few months away she took him on a hike where then her lover met her and they're accusing her of and her boyfriend of pushing him off into some ravine oh so there was they go on a hike there's another guy a guy shows up she's already been with this guy yeah that's what they think she's been arrested and so as the lover that's what they think and a lot of hiking The murders have been happening. Right. If you're ever fighting or you're not getting on good terms, don't ever look over the edge of anything.

A boat, a cliff. Don't go too close to the edge if your wife's mad at you. Well, they call it an alpine divorce, meaning it's like instead of getting a divorce, you go do a nature thing and hope that someone trips on a rock. Oh, yeah? And then you don't have to get a divorce because you did a nature adventure. Yeah.

Yeah. No matter how bad, if something is not going to, great and your spouse is like, you know what, let's just hike around whatever. I'm glad to say I'm not a big hiker. Me neither. I first of all, I don't even know where to go. I don't know where to park. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think it's for you. You know what? Don't start because I think you're going to go. I'm like, if I'm going to go for a walk, I'm just going to go around my neighborhood. Yeah, good ideas. And there's no cliffs here. They're to the streets. Yeah, there's no cliffs here.

But like, I do just feel like, you know, this other guy, they think that his son pushed him off so that he could take over the business. There's that. There was a now this other guy just got arrested 20 years later. Yeah. In Zion National Park, he said his wife fell over. And 20 years later, they just arrested him and they said,

no, we think you like pushed her. Oh, yeah. I know what, even if you don't plan on killing your spouse, I don't think you should hike with your spouse. No. Because God forbid, they, actually fall naturally. And then you're going to be completely how who is to say.

Yeah. I mean, I think it's a pretty hard thing to prove. People like how can you tell if there's no cameras, there's no surveillance cameras. Yeah. How can you tell that there's like push marks on someone's back? I don't think you can.

I mean, I don't know how they figured out. But then they just make it all circumstantial. They say they were fighting. They did this. They did that. The person saw a divorce attorney, you know. Right.

And then they went hiking. But I always am like, remember when Kim Kardashian and Chloe like went to that fancy Indian wedding? Yeah, just recently. I mean, I'm also like. They do like four day weddings. I know. Do you ever feel? I mean, you didn't.

I'm like, I know they did it because they like got paid and they get to like wear all these rubies or whatever. But that's a long time to keep going back and be like, oh, hello. Yes, you are the bride's aunt. Remember we talked two days ago. and now we have to talk again. That seems like a lot. Yeah, keep going like, yeah, the third day. And I mean, do they like drink a lot?

By the third day, I'd be out. Yeah, do they drink a lot? Or they're just like dancing and just eating for three days straight? And then how are you going to fit in your outfit when you've been eating for three days straight? I don't know. Well, okay. Oh, clavicular. I know that you're an expert.

Yeah. What do you want to know? He's in Paris right now. He's, uh, he actually was, he has another guy with him. It's, I watched this very. video just morning. What is going on? He's trying to pick up girls in Paris and he videotapes it and it's him and this guy and they keep going up to these tables of these two women sitting there and go, want to come out with us and I going to the club and every girl rejects them, everyone. And they posted it for some

reason. But the TMZ says they have an exclusive here. What is he exclusive? Sophie Rain, who's just this like the number one girl on only fans that looks very. the most av, like cute, like just totally cute, but like not anything special. Right. But she's barely any makeup, but she's got that.

She's kind of short. She's got a tiny waist, a big fat ass. Oh. And kind of whatever legs. And just brown hair parted down the middle, like no makeup. And that is what does the best on only fans.

Really? I think it's because the creeps think that she looks like she could be their daughter. Oh, no. Like the girls that are like really put together and like 25 who have like fake hair and fake eyelashes and big fake teeth and big lip injections. That is not the way to make a lot of money. Yeah. On only kids.

You got to look like. Like girl next door. Like you don't have a pot to piss and you're walking down the street and flip flops to go get an ice cream at the right age. That's what you have to look like to make a lot of them. That's what I believe. Okay. I'm seeing what you're saying. I mean, just judging by this girl's look.

She is, uh, Sophie Rain. I've never even heard of her. She's big on, whatever makes $8 million an hour. It gets like some astronomical amount of money. And she's going to go out with clavicular? Oh, that would be a fun night for both of them.

Yeah. And so they're, they'll solve the, you know, that's the night they're going to solve the world's problems. These two geniuses sitting there. Think tank. Anyway. So that's all I have for you.

There you have it. You're excited for your trip. I'm excited. But first you're going to do stand-up tomorrow night. Oh, yeah. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. I'm going to be on Thursday.

Yeah. I'm at the comics, Mohican Sun in Connecticut. Unkinsville, Unkinsville, Connecticut. I've been to that Mohican son. I like a Mohican son. So do I. Yeah. I'm happy to be stuck in a casino.

People like, it's the worst. Stuck in a three days. I'm like, I'm looking forward to it. I don't want to see. I want to be stuck in. casino for three days. Air conditioning. Yeah.

That's all I want. So I'm going to be there for three days. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Do you watch TV in your hotel room? Lately I have been. I feel that is just the best to just watch regular TV. Yeah. It's a lot of shark tank.

It's a lot of forensic files for me when I'm in a hotel. I think you're a little like me in the fact that sometimes I can't figure out how to turn the damn thing on or off or figure out. It's just such a choice. Like I'm like, and then. And then sometimes when I go, back to my app, I'm like, why isn't the thing that I watched last

popping up? No, I have to start typing it again. And then if I forgot that there was a the before or the after or like there was no the, I guess people would be like, Heather, don't you know? You can talk into your thing. It's a whole other thing I have to figure out. Usually it's just because I can figure out, it's just Mario Lopez telling me what movies are about.

For some reason, Mario Lopez has the gig where he talks about it. Yeah, and it just repeats over and over and over again. I love it. Yeah. So, yeah. You're going to have a little break. And then I go out, yeah, I'm going to go out to Montau. If anybody has any Montau connections. I know I did this last year. And I don't know, you got a large audience and of cool people. I have no connections. I thought that someone did reach out and you got like a reservation at some of the hot spot.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think there was one. But yeah, if anybody has any, I don't, you know, I don't know anything anymore. I'm like so jealous right now. Of what? of like your fun little family vacation. Yeah. I feel like it's going to be like a Nancy. I don't vacation like you vacation. I'm not on yachts and stuff. You feel like you're in a Nancy Meyer movie kind of?

No, God, nothing like. You would die. It's like a regular house. It's not Nancy Myers looking house. It's like a shit hole. You know, but I mean, fine for us. We like it. I love it out there, you know, but yeah, it's not.

You buddy, my trip, you don't know. I talked about it on my Patreon and get me behind gage. It was a lot. I mean, we had fun, but it was an adventure. Oh, really? Yeah, we were on this boat and we went to this pig island. I saw the pigs. I've seen the pigs before.

Yeah. I saw a video of one biting a girl, like a girl I know. Yeah. The pigs are no joke. Yeah. I would definitely say skip the pigs. I'm sorry. now that people are like now the pigs are starving because hether mcdonald said never go visit the pigs

again they'll be fine they'll be fine yeah i i just definitely know i mean i don't know why i was convinced i just thought this is this is what i saw with that guy when he was trying to get everybody to go to the fire festival yeah oh and by the way he pulled off a little mini fire festival this weekend he did yeah he did it looked awful he got some people to sing on a small stage but he's like i pulled it off I'm back in the Bahamas. He did it. What's his name? Billy McFarland.

Yeah. He managed to pull it off. Oh, good. Did he get Jarl rule again? I know Jarl rule is on the big ones he was going to get. No, he got a bunch of people I've never, ever heard of. Yeah. So, but he did.

He got some people and like, whatever. So you go to Mohegan Sun. You go to your thing. Mohican Son. I'll be Mohican Sun. Comics Mohicans Sun this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. So if you're in the neighborhood, come by. Do you have anything after you get back from?

No, then I have August. I'm so, I have, I think, six weeks of just sitting in my backyard. I can't wait. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm just doing juicy scoop. Yeah, I'll do juicy scoop. Nothing.

I have nothing all of August. I don't think I've had that in 25 years. And then do you, are you packing it in for the fall again? Are you going to be a little more? I got a couple, nothing too crazy. You know, I'm out there again. I had fun. I performed at the comedy story the other night.

Oh, cool. With Sarah Silverman and David Spade. Nice. It was great. That's cool. I finally, like, had, like, a really good set there. Did you, which room were you? The big one, the main room.

Oh, nice. It was fun. Like, packed house. Oh, good. I just get a little nervous there, you know, because I'm not part of the world. Right. But, you know, I know Spade a little bit. And then Sarah Sylvan was like super.

I walked in. She's like, oh, my God, Chris Franjola. She was like, I mean, I know. Why wouldn't she know you? But, I mean, we knew each other a long time ago. Yeah. Remember you and I like that lunch or once. Whenever I see her, she's super nice.

Yeah, she was great. Yeah. And it was so fun. I had a great time over there. Thank you, comedy store. I love it. And people are like, um,

how can we not passed here? I'm like, past. I'm a 60 year old man. Like, I'm done with this bullshit. Like, why do you think I'm gonna,

you gotta hang around more? And they'll pass you and you can paint your name on the wall. I don't care about that. I remember I tried so hard to do that. And you'd have to do the three minutes on a Sunday on the original room. Oh,

never. And then you'd get. five minutes like the next Sunday. And I was dating Peter and I was supposed to do my three minutes and I got food poisoning and I didn't go. Oh no. And then the next day I called to tell them like why I wasn't there. And they said, yeah, Mitzie passed you to go the next round to do like five minutes.

And I was just like, okay. It's like somehow it got mixed up or something. And I don't know what happened. Like I, but everywhere. I never did. I never did. I never painted my name on the wall. But there was a time when I was hanging out there a lot and like talking to Joe Rogan and people

like like in the mid late. And there's times that all of a sudden I'll just be like doing my hair and I'll like have like this overwhelming like memory of like that right when you get out of the store, but you haven't gone around the corner yet. But the parking lot and people are car. I feel like that's where I always was like just standing there. like outdoor bar now. Yeah. I mean, how are people hanging out there all

time? It's like, it's the greatest. Like right on sunset, this outdoor bar is like, all the comedians are there. It's great. I had a blast. I think I should start to say hang out again? This is for my summer of the comedy store? I was like, I'm going to start doing it now. And then the next night I got an offer for the improv and I was like, oh, fuck that. I'm not going out at 9 o'clock at night again. I did it last night. I can't do two nights in a row. So.

Oh my God. All right. Love you. Bye. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust.

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