Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola on Women in Space, Coachella, The Masters

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Your favorite Chris Franjola is here! I share about going to The Masters. Don’t hate on Coachella. Jojo Siwa got producers to kick Mickey Rourke out of Big Brother. Lauren Sanchez and her female friends went to space. What does a collab among sexy influencers really mean? Rosie O’Donnell is in love with Lyle Menendez. Lori Vallow is representing herself in court and the Widow of Woodland Hills knows her fate. So juicy so funny! Enjoy! -Find exactly what you’re booking for on https://Booking.com, Booking.YEAH! -Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/JUICY to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. -Catch the return of Sister Wives, Sunday at 10 on TLC. -Sign up now and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/juicyscoop or download the Acorns app to get started. Stand Up Tickets and info: https://heathermcdonald.net/ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod  https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: https://juicyscoopshop.com  Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode of Juicy Scoop is brought to you by Booking.com, Booking.Yeah. How excited are you that summer is around the corner? And if you're like me, you want to plan a few trips with all your favorite people. So I want to do like a sexy little weekend with Peter. It's 25 years of marriage. I mean, every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals,

and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find this day that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking.Yeah! So be addicted and addictive fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Woo woo. Hannah McDonald.

Yeah. Juicy Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have the number one favorite, my first show ever. This is your favorite model turned young dad. Yeah, you're well. Comedian, star of cover to cover podcast, which is such a big hit.

Everybody loves him. Your favorite Chris friend, Jola. Thank you so much for having me back in a new studio. I hope that your gorgeous blue eyes are showing and everyone is subscribing to the YouTube so they can see Chris. We actually look great because we're both wearing navy. I know.

Is that something you picked up at your... At the Masters. We're going to get into it. I see the Masters on it. I really didn't understand what I was getting into. Okay. And it was fabulous. Did you see my parents?

No, did they go? They used to work it. They don't anymore, they're a little older now, but they used to volunteer. And my father would hold up, quiet please, quiet please. I have to say. He, quiet please, I held up the sign. My mother worked a merch booth. Okay, everybody, I did not see one intoxicated person, however, they were alcohol served. Okay. I did not see any craziness, there was not one person being rude, they'd set out their seats and if you sat in you could sit in someone's seat,

and then they would just go, hi, I'm here now. Okay, get up and leave. Like everybody was, and you couldn't have your phones, the photos that I got, here I am with two-time winner, Ben Crenshaw. That is how I got to go, because his delight of a wife listens to Juicy Scoop, and became friends with my really good friends from many years ago. And they all, so then she was like, so we shared a house with them.

Yeah. Laurie and Danny Smith. And then, you know, they get tickets and stuff because he's, you know, there. Golf legend. And so we got to shop at the actual country club on the first day Wednesday Which was where they like play and the kids wear the caddy outfits, which is the cutest thing ever It's like that's the first day Wednesday, which is not official Yeah, they practice and their kids and wives were like caddy outfits aka female stand-up comedian outfits. Yeah. Oh like a jumpsuit

Yeah And you know some of the guys are and all the guys are good looking. Everybody has a belt. I'm happy to see this look. Oh, you mean guys are good looking, the golfers or who? Pretty much, the spectators too are pretty cute. Everybody has a belt, did you say?

Yeah, everyone has a belt. Everyone is like out of that, a coordinated outfit. And then the yes ma'am from the South, I love, yes ma'am, the south I love yes ma'am. Augusta Georgia. Everybody's polite have a wonderful time and so then the first day you could bring a real camera so that's how I got some photos if you go to my Instagram and a real camera like a real like a digital camera not a phone and then so Ben actually took Peter into the famous locker room. Wow.

And he got to like see it with you know, to a guy is a big thing. Yeah. And then we got to go to the shopping. So this is one of the dresses I got, which is only from the country club merch store, which is an all the merch is really high quality stuff. So yes, you're spending a lot and you're getting the master thing, which is like a flex, but also it's not crap. It's like quality things that you're gonna wear. So anyway, beyond my expectations of a good time. And then the next days that we went, Thursday and Friday,

you can't have your phone at all. You leave it in the car. And I loved it. So nice. I loved it. I'd have like a drink or two throughout the day, which was the perfect amount of buzz to sit in the sun with perfect weather.

Now, if it was freezing or super hot, I'm sure I wouldn't have loved it as much. What do you drink? What do you drink? They're called Azaleas. And it's vodka lemonade and like grenadine, I think, or something else. And delicious.

And then there's beers, and then everyone talks about the food being cheap because they don't change the prices. But the food was great. Like the little barbecue sandwich, it was as good as a Bucky's barbecue sandwich. The best one I've ever had. The best. Something about wrapped in the foil or something

and just kept a little warm somewhere, I think it blends into the flavor. I don't know. It was so good. Ice cream like, anyway, the whole thing was super fun. So then we came home and then we watched Rory win. And that was fun. And that's great. That's what we did. And, you know, now Tiger Woods was not there, who's now dating Donald Trump Jr.'s ex-wife. Right. Mother of five. Mother of five? They have five kids. All Donald Trump Jr.'s? Yes, together. How did I know that? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.

I'm pretty sure they have five. And then, so he was not there. He had another ailment going on. But also he was like, I don't want to take away from the event by bringing my girlfriend there. We are in love and I want to just stay classy. Let them have their moment, which is kind of interesting. Let who have that moment? The other players, all the other players. Because the way it works is once you've won,

you can play the tournament for the rest of your life. Okay. Now you may not continue to win. Yeah. But they will make a spot for you. And I said, I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like at a certain point you should go, you know what, let me step back so there's more spots available.

Right. But anyway, they didn't ask for opinions. I think the Oscar says this, if you an Oscar, you could go back every year. You could always go back. You could always get a seat. You could always get a seat, yeah. Yeah. And you know, so there's some older guys, but then, you know, some of them just like

Ben just played on the Wednesday Fun Day. Right. And, but some of the guys like they're starting, were like in their 60s, like still doing it. Yeah. They're probably knowing they weren't gonna win, but I'm like, but then you're like taking a spot from someone new. And then, so one guy.

It's also about like TV ratings. And you wanna see the older guys who you know then. One guy was fascinated because he had a very curvy ass. Oh, is that right? Yes. I don't wanna bring it up. Peter looked him up. I said he wasn't in the finals like two days. But that ass was like, I was like shocked. No,

like almost like a woman's ass on a man's body. You know, kind of shocking. Yeah. I couldn't stop staring at it. I was close. But like, are you saying that's good or bad? No, it's not my kind of thing. Yeah. But a lot of people, who am I to talk about an ass? Everyone says I don't have an ass. How dare you not have an ass? I don't really have one much one either. However, I agree with you. I think too much of an ass is a fine line between no and too much. I mean, this is what he was born with. Clearly he didn't get a PBL like, you know, the Kardashians. I just was like kind of fascinated by it. But here's the thing, you know, a lot of people that look at her flat ass,

I've had people go, Heather, just with all your money, I just don't understand why you've not gone in and gotten a BBL, a Brazilian butt lift or a butt fill or taken the fat. And I'm like, you know why I don't? Yeah. Because I don't have to look at it. I don't have to look at it.

Right. What the fuck do I care don't have to look at it. I don't have to look at it. Right. What the fuck do I care? You have to look at it. So I'm sorry for the people that are in line at Target. I'm sorry that- They're looking at it? Who's ever having to look at it. And I'm like, does that make me a narcissist

or does that make me a saint? Because I'm like, would I be a saint if I got a, would that be a more Christian thing to do is to fill my ass up so that people could see it and enjoy it because that's the thing I I like to spend money color my hair wear my lashes because I look at the mirror yeah I don't see what's behind what about when you step into like you try clothes on and I have that mirror that you can see behind I just ignore that part I do too everybody should I think everybody does like a seeing anyone from the back is and I have that mirror that you can see behind you. I just ignore that part. I do, too. Everybody should.

I think everybody does. Like, seeing anyone from the back is not great. I'm talking about anybody. It's not great. All these people that spend money on their butts, I'm like... That must be someone who's really looking to get with a certain kind of guy that is really, really into the ass. Yeah. And that's okay.

I thought it was kind of going away a little bit, the giant ass. The giant giant ass, but a good perky good ass is always gonna be beloved. Oh, of course. Yes, it's always gonna be something that you want. But don't you think also with the Brazilian butt lift, sorry to continue on this,

is eventually you get to a point where you just gotta, this is just not gonna be, like you getting a Brazilian butt lift now with a little ridiculous. Even if Peter died and I was out just, you know, on the apps, just, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm not 25. And I really don't care. And I think I'm doing pretty good.

So for what's going on. So again, it didn't hurt me in the 90s getting a guy to talk to me. And I don't know that it would hurt me. You always hate it well. I've known you for a long time. Because also the group that I will date after if something was to happen are the same guys that liked me in the 90s.

They're just going to be here divorced and broken in their late 50s. Right, right. I don't think they're aspen either. And I think, yeah, you don't want like, eventually you're gonna die and then, you know. Does that all, when they cremate you, does that all go in the cremation?

Like does the pee, whatever they put in your cheeks? I wondered if- Does that get ash? I think the silicone liquid, the silicone implants,? I wondered if, I think the silicone, liquid, the silicone implants, if they're silicone I think, I think will, just like if you opened a casket, like if you would, they would just be laying there. I don't know that they did, I wonder if they've ever done that

when they've like opened up a casket and it's like a, well a casket I think kind of like protects the body. Yeah. But like if a body was found in the woods, would those two things just like be in the, in the shelf of the skeleton? So if, but those, you don't do that in your ass anymore. They realized that was a mistake. They just put in fat and they usually put in your own fat. So it doesn't move or anything. Now, if you have no fat,

then they put filler in and that will eventually dissolve and possibly could move. Because there was people like one or two ladies died from their putting in like cement and shit. Right, some of the people do the deals, you know, so you don't want to do that either. Speaking of the weekend, okay, so it was first we know Coachella.

Yeah, you were the masters while Coachella was going on. You chose... The total better choice. Also because, you know, I have a place in La Quinta. I'm going to go there this weekend. This weekend it says it's going to be 80. Perfect. This past weekend it was extremely hot.

Like 98. Every year Coachella is like 102 degrees. I don't know why it becomes like the hottest day. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. It just depends. You just don't know. You could get 100 degrees or you could get like 82 and like loveliness. Yeah. So it was really, really hot. Something happened with the campers and they were stuck in it for 12 hours. But I also feel like people that are home that like aren't there, they love to hear that something that was planned and supposed to

be fun that they were never going to go to is a disaster. It's their favorite thing to report on. It's our fire. It's our fire fest. Yeah, you just are like, oh I do this, this is a, everyone was waiting in line for 12-Hat. Like people are so excited to say it was a disaster. I'm like, fine, it's not for you. Like you don't have to go. As someone that now like has a heart in Likita, Coachella is a great thing. I don't want it to go away. Kids go. It's a young person's thing. It's like for teenagers and even even like influencers that went for the last like six years are like not being invited back and they're inviting the TikTokers. It's like pass the torch and just whatever who cares. I watched a lot of

clips and there was a clip of a guy named Benson Boone who's very good. Right, he does the flips and has the abs. Yeah. And he sang Bohemian Rhapsody. Yes. Freddie Mercury Queen song and at one point they made a big production out of Brian May, the guitarist from Queen was playing with him and he goes ladies and gentlemen Brian May and I don't think anybody in the crowd's like who? Some old man comes up out of the stage like it's a big deal and the crowd's like I don't even know who that is's like, who? Some old man comes up out of the stage, like it's a big deal. And the crowd's like, I don't even know who that is. He's 70 something years old. Like how would they know?

How would they know? Right. I mean, I do think, you know, but, and then also the fact that you can like stream it now. So I'm like, I'm going this weekend. To Coachella? To my house. Oh.

But I'm like, you know, we can just stream it from our backyard and lay around in our pool and like have a margarita. But I like going to like, if there's like a day party that's like an influencer thing, I like to do that. But actually going to the thing, it's just like you feel, it's a lot of walking and you feel like a cool person.

And with a celebrity, I saw Chalamet walking in with Kylie. Kylie they went. Kylie of of course 10 feet behind. Oh really? Yeah. At least in the clip I saw. Oh geez. Well then I saw them getting cuddly and cute. But then her baby daddy, he was playing that night.

Oh. Travis Scott. So I thought that was kind of interesting. I'm like, I guess she still likes the music. Missy Elliott I saw performing. I thought that was pretty great. Yeah. And...

There was some good performance. And the Lady Gaga looked amazing. But I have to tell you something, and I'm scared to say it. Oh no. I don't really like Lady Gaga's songs. Like, I think she's beyond talented, but whenever I am listening,

because I listen to regular radio where it's just a mix of music sometimes, and every time I hear it's like, Pup Puck Her Face and all that, I listen to like regular radio or just a mix of music sometimes. And every time I heard it's like, you know, Pup Puck her face and all that, I'm always like, and I do change the station. Really? Really, but I think she's so talented. I know she gave a great show, but I just,

when we were at the fire aid, we left before she came on. Oh, okay. I mean, I still think she's great. I'm just not as into it. There are people who don't like The Beatles, you know? That's not, that's, it's, you know, art. Everybody has their own interpretation of things.

Yes, so we'll see. I don't even know who's coming this weekend, but I guess they always say the second weekend is like the less exciting weekend. Isn't it the same with Green Day and Lady Gaga? No, I think it's different people. It's a whole different group of people. Okay. And then it's like people. It's a whole different group of people.

And then it's like the less exciting time to go. Like if you're all about filming yourself and all that kind of stuff. And like the outfits, I'm like, oh my God. Like they were showing like, oh, Coachella from 2014. Everyone was just wearing like more like wood stocky hippie dippy flowers in their hair and like cute. Now it's like, look at these outfits. Here's our girl.

Well, she that's crotch out. She's doing crotch out. That's Julia Fox and it's a hundred and degrees. And a lot of girls wore leather jackets like Alex Earl and all these people with like tiny outfits underneath just for the look. And I'm like, Oh, the sweat. Okay. So Brittany, Brittany is in Mexico or on a vacation. And she brought a baby doll with her that her bodyguard's carrying like a real baby for her. And-

A baby doll? Like it's a doll, yeah. And she wrote a long thing. She did lingerie and she's like, every man I wore lingerie for didn't make me feel good. So now I'm going to wear it for you. And I was in these toxic relationships. And this whole long thing.

And I'm just like, it just frustrates me why she just doesn't do a level of OnlyFans or something. I mean she just doesn't need the money at all but I'm just like why can't she do it? But why can't she do it? Like why can't she do it if she says I want to do the laundry for you and not for these guys that you know were my husbands and stuff. Like, all right. She's not doing well. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What were you saying? What was that about?

Why did she have a doll? You know, remember when she said she was pregnant? Yeah, I- I don't think she was ever pregnant. She's talked about, I have a baby, you know. I don't know if it was one of those dolls that looked like a real baby. Yeah. I don't know if it was one of those like dolls that look like a real baby. Yeah.

I don't know. I know it's like people just don't care, but I just, I just, I just want her to find some purpose, but I guess she feels like she has a purpose with the Instagram. That's what I have to tell myself. She does.

She has an, she can just be in her own house. She still looks kind of okay. Like she's in good shape. She is in good shape, but then sometimes you don't know if this is from a long time ago or two years ago. Yeah. Because that's the hotel she always stays at,

that bathroom. I feel like all her bottoms, like whether it be shorts or panties or whatever, they're all like one size too small. And she pulls them real down, low, low, low. But anyway, you guys know how much I love Quince, and spring is upon us we've got into vacation mode and I love all my quince items I love my silk I

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plus free shipping on your order. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash juicy to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash Juicy. This episode of Juicy Scoop is brought to you by booking.com, booking.yeah. Juicy Scoopers, how excited are you that summer is around the corner and if you're like me, you want to plan a few trips with all your favorite people. So I want to do like a sexy little weekend with Peter. It's 25 years of marriage. I want to do something with my sons.

We're planning on going away with another couple. We want to make sure there's plenty of room and a vacation rental where we're not on top of each other, but we can enjoy the area. And what I love is that booking.com, booking.ya has everything. I mean, every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US, I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs.

I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for everyone. No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com, booking.yeah. Let's talk about the most exciting news in space. Why? Why? Because Lauren Sanchez is a helicopter pilot. She is? She is. I did not know that.

Okay. And before getting with, between kind of her, her not really being like doing hosting news things. Yeah. Before she left the agent husband. Okay. For their other good friend, you know, Jeff Bezos, to just remind people

they were couples that hung out. And then they started seeing each other. And then I think the agent found out. And so then they broke up the marriages and they stayed together, Lauren Sentros and Jeff Bezos. And nobody really cares because, you know, he's on the yacht too now the ex-husband's like, whatever brings his girlfriend around,

like he doesn't care. Like, I mean, I do think's like, whatever, brings his girlfriend around, he doesn't care. I do think if your wife's gonna cheat, she'd be with Jeff Bezos. Anyway, so I think he got in the space game. Whatever this spaceship is, I think this is his thing, Jeff Bezos, to kinda compete with Elan's. Sure, yeah, I think they're out. I think it is.

And so it's like, hey, rich people can go to, on this ride, it's an 11 minute ride. It looks like just a ride. You go up and you come back down. You go up and you, so it was 11 minutes long. And so she was like, let me put an all female like group together. But it felt very much just like influencers.

Like she got... Katy Perry. She got Katy Perry. I think she also got, who's the other really rich guy's ex-wife? The other one. Oh, Gates. Yeah, I think she got her.

No, I swear. No, that wasn't her? I don't think so. Okay, whatever. Nobody was an astronaut. Well, there was like scientists. Okay, scientists. And then there was Gail King,

which I think she thought Gail King would like, rise the, kind of raise the group. But I'm like, no, Gail King is just a talk show host like you and me. We are all at the level of Good Morning America. It is not a hard job. I've said it from the start. It's not a hard job.

Less than ever, probably. I feel like those channel, I've said it from the start. It's not a hard job. She's not- Less than ever probably. Yes. I feel like those channel, it's all becoming so weird that now more people go to like, you know, Joe Rogan than they would to Good Morning America. You know what I mean? Yeah, and so I'm like,

so she, not that she's not smart, but like, she's not, like, clearly they probably, she probably asked Oprah. Yeah. And Oprah was like like I don't want to go up there because it freaked me out but you should ask Gail this is what I think happened yeah and then I think she probably asked Kim Kardashian

and they're like besties and I think Kim was like no but I'll give you like the skims underwear to wear under the outfit because I don't think I think Kim has said she's not one that wants to like go to space I have said I don't think I think Kim has said she's not one that wants to like go to space. I have said I don't want to go to space. OK, yes. I don't know publicly. I have said it numerous times. I have no desire to go. But now you're for 11 minutes, you wouldn't go up and turn around and look back.

I mean, isn't that what it is? I guess if it becomes like an American airline flight to Phoenix where it's like there hasn't been any explosions or anything. I still feel- What if they had a decent merch table up there that you could buy nice dresses like you did at the Masters? Ha ha ha ha.

I went to space and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. Maybe. So they had the really cute outfits that this designer made them. It was very flattering outfit. And Oprah was there. She was. And Kris Jenner was there.

Kris, why was she there? Because she suddenly became best friends with Lauren Sanchez in the last couple years. Where? Where the thing took off from? Wherever the launch is. Okay. Yes. And Oprah then was crying for the,

until she came back. And yeah, I mean their friendship is really strong. And this was happening today. This all happened this morning. Wow, and they went up and came back. They went up and came back. And there was some criticism because leading up to it. Olivia Mon was critical of it.

Yeah, leading up to it, because it was like, you know, Katy Perry was like, we're going to put the ass into astronaut, just saying things like that. And Lauren said, we're going to bring glam to space. But they didn't bring like their glam guys. Hi! Floating around like, no, they like did their makeup before.

Like, we're going to have eyelashes. You're astronaut wearing that. Oh. Wow. But I'm sure they're like right up to the last minute, before like we're gonna have eyelashes. You're astronaut wearing that. Wow. But I'm sure they're like right up to the last minute somebody running after them like, you know, doing this. But they were, it's like they're in space. They were just in these lay down seats. Like it was just like lay down,

it just looked like a ride at like Disneyland. Honestly, it looked like a nice ride at Disneyland. I mean, I hope. I don't even know if they said we had training in this. I don't know what kind of training, what to do. Open the door if there's a problem and fly out. I don't think there was any training. Why couldn't they have gotten stuck up there

like those other two? That would have been great if they were stuck up there. I know, I was kind of like... I'm not saying they had to die. No, I don't want anyone to die. But it would have been fun if they were stuck up there for like nine months. Yes.

And everything went, you know, all the weave. And then they really came back looking different. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like everything went to shit. Right. Lauren Sanchez just deflated whatever she's got going on. And then like when they come back, like, like I remember I would do this religious retreat called Kairos,

a lot of people do, and you're not supposed to know what the secret is. The secret is, well, I don't want to tell what the secret is, but who cares? Like as if some 15-year-old is listening to this, whatever. One of the things, okay, if you have a kid who's going to do Kairos, pull over and turn this off. The thing is, when you come back, your parents are there and you speak about what how great it was Okay, but also the boys from the brother school that have done it are gonna be there, too So now I knew this so for three days all the girls at my girl high school

Nobody everyone looked like shit. They let us eat. They let us smoke which is weird They were like you can smoke cigarettes, but whatever I didn't smoke. Everyone brought candy and crap. And we all look awful. Well, now I knew that I knew the secret. Okay. That there could be boys waiting there at the end. So I put on all my makeup and they're like, why are you putting makeup on the bus from like Santa Barbara or whatever? I'm like, oh, my dad said he's taking me to TGI Fridays after, you know. And then we get there and they walk out and they're like, all the cute, you know, guys, you know, with their letterman jackets there. It's 1988 when people like cared how people looked, you know. You just said the Masters. Everybody was wearing a belt.

I swear to God, it was the South is good looking people. Yeah, but you were also at the Masters Yes, I'm with rich rich rich blocks from I'm with multi-generational South like thick. That's not exactly everyone had gorgeous shining hair Everyone had like, you know, just perfect skin take you to some of the comedy clubs I play in the South and see if those people So anyway, the girls turned around like how're like, you bitch, like how do you new? So what I'm saying is like, what if they were stuck in space? And then like only Lauren or only somebody brought like a little makeup bag.

And now they're coming back and she's like, no, you're not barring my foundation. Like I only have enough for me. And it's like, come on, like you have to share with all of us. And then, so then one person does come back looking good and the rest thought it was an 11 minute ride. I mean, it's kind of a risky move. There's a lot, these things blow up a lot. That's what I think.

I was like, the submarine thing. Yeah, like the thing, yeah. It's just another rich thing people do. I don't know what the point was, except that women went into space. But it was like for 11 minutes. And like, did you bring anything back? Did you bring back like a new version of Ozempic, something that other women would care about? Yeah.

No. Anyway, I'm happy they're safe. Me too. Okay, let's talk about, so Saturday Night Live, you watched White Lotus, right? I know of it. You know of it. I don't watch it. So this girl, Amy Lou Woods, she was a big star in it, and it was a little shocking to

see her come on because, but also these two girls become friends and they're both dating these older guys at the resort. Right. And in my opinion, I was like, wow, that's interesting casting. They actually both don't have good teeth. The other girl didn't either. Right.

And they also were like, not like, they didn't look like yacht girls. They weren't like that hot. But I'm like, what I liked about her is that she was very appealing. She was English. So she has like these very unique, kind of what they'd call bunny teeth

or split between your teeth. Never had braces. But then I was like, well, I think I see why he loved her as an actress, and she's just so endearing. But also her character was so in love with this guy, this older guy, and he was probably like 25 years older than her, 20 years older, that it was sweet because they're like, okay, well, I don't think she's like a gold digger. Like, I think they actually really fell in love. However, he acted like she was an annoying

mosquito the whole trip, but whatever. So they do the Saturday Night Live parody, and they call it White POTUS, and it's, you know, the guy playing Trump and the two guys playing the brothers, and then like Ivanka's the sister and they're basically playing like the one family that like Parker Posey was a part of and oh and then the other girl Chloe's playing Parker Posey's character like Piper now and doing the voice and everything and and then this other girl plays her and kind of plays up the tears Squirm who's very funny yeah and plays up to teeth and and you know, the English accent. Yeah. So, off the bat, you know, it gets to Amy Lou. And she writes on stories, like, I might delete this, but I'm just really hurt, like,

that this is where you're going with it. Because the teeth thing, she's like, I've gotten people that have written me, like, I was gonna get my teeth fixed. Now I'm not. Like, you've given me confidence. It's amazing. It's great. So, anyway, I saw it, and then she did say something nice after. She's like, I'm not, like you've given me confidence, it's amazing, it's great. So anyway, I saw it, and then she did say something nice

after a sec, I'm not blaming the actors, I'm just saying like, really? And here's the thing though, if you're going to do an impression of somebody, it would have been weird if they didn't do anything with the teeth. Because every time she would say something, she'd be like, don't go to Hong Kong. Like she was always like, it wasn't just the teeth because every time she would say something, she'd be like, don't go to Hong Kong. Like, she was always like, it wasn't just the teeth.

It was always like this like shocked look like, what? You know, that was her, that was her character because she was so like in love with this guy. So, I mean, yeah, we're still gonna, if this is- That's Saturday Night Live. If it's Saturday Night Live, I mean, one of the things I know that they did regret was when... Who was the actress that played Pat?

Oh, yeah, Sweeney. Sweeney. Yeah. Julia Sweeney played, again, racist, not cute. Yeah. Was Clinton's daughter, Chelsea Clinton not cute. Yeah. What's Clinton's daughter, Chelsea Clinton. Oh yeah. And they had, you know, and then Chelsea, and then they realized, wait a minute, you're right.

We shouldn't be doing impression of a child. And so that was like one of the things. But I mean, you know, like. What about it's Pat? Well, she says she totally regrets that. She's like done like one womanwoman shows about regretting its Pat. Different times. Very different times.

Because she created that at the Groundlings. Which, by the way, when I talked about how the older guys should maybe give up their spot, I go, it reminded me of the Groundlings, is that the Groundlings theater, which I talk about all the time, which a lot of SNL people came from, there's only 30 spots that you can then perform on Friday and Saturday night for the rest of your life until you give up your spot. But then every year or twice a year,

there's a group that comes up from the B company, Sunday company, and they have to decide who could have the new spots. Well, every year there'd be like 18 people, there'd be one spot. And we'd be like, this bitch is on a bus, this one's on their fourth year of SNL, like open it up. Like you really need to come back on a Saturday night

and like perform for 99 people. Like what is this? Anyway, getting back. So what are your feelings about this whole thing? I mean, you know, honestly, my first feeling is of course, you just have to have thicker skin, I think. I get it, you know, but, my first feeling is, of course, you just have to have thicker skin, I think. I get it, you know, but we all get made fun of. You read things, I read things.

I'm the little puppet in saw. Don't ever stop. We're all here. Use that as much because I'm the one who talked about it first 15 years ago. So if someone wants to now throw that out and go look at that face, it's the same face I had.

These cheeks are not filled. Look at me when I was 12. It's the same fucking face. I mean, the person who said, who came up with that, you look like the puppet from Saul. It was a tweet. It was a tweet while I was at

Chelsea. Yeah. And that was when we never got any hate. Like it was very low hate. And I was like, oh my God, I love it. Like it's a franchise. Billy, he's good on the tricycle.

He, you know, gets rid of a lot of things. And then they'd be like, because it's kind of like, the cheeks are like big because of my cheeks, they use it for a lot of plastic surgery. So like people have said Joan Rivers looks like Billie. And then I'm like, hey, like it's me. Don't give it to other people. Yeah, I mean, I have to read once a week

that I'm an old prune, dried up prune, things like that. I mean, you just got to roll with the punches. I don't know if you could notice, but I currently have Invisalign. I'm wearing Invisalign. So I don't, and it's all- but I currently have Invisalign. I'm wearing Invisalign. Invisalign's a great thing. I'm old for Invisalign, so this girl might wanna think about it.

I don't know, but her teeth are kinda like her thing, right? So Drake did Invisalign. Okay. But then I think he, it really was looking good. And then I think he kinda like stopped with it. That's what you gotta. So then when they move, you can't go back. You kind of got to start all over. But I think he was doing a different brand.

So if Invisalign would like to, or somebody else would like to come back, we would like to reinstate the Invisalign and get it going again. 16 weeks, I got to go. You're going to notice a difference. I'm already. I've been two weeks. I've already noticed a difference.

You look good, I mean, you have a great smile. It's gonna change my whole face. Yeah. I'm gonna be like, I think I'm gonna get back into modeling. But I love, I mean, I love that she looks unique. I'm so sick of everybody with their giant chompers. I'm so sick of everybody looking exactly the same.

So I do think, I think there's gonna be a movement of casting more actresses that like, haven't fucked with their face and stuff. And I think then hopefully there'll be a movement of people like, you know. Like I already noticed a lot less girls are getting boob jobs. Tiny tits are in.

Or if they get them, they get them small. But like, non-enhanced tits. Confidence around. Even if you get boob jobs, yeah, they're real thin. But like non-enhanced tits. Right. Confidence around. Even if you get boob jobs, you go for the small ones. That's what I'm saying. They're called the little teardrops. Right.

But yeah, that's in. That's like you can wear a couture. You look skinny. It's like chic. So it's like things go in and out of style. But you know, you get those big white chompers. You can never take those off. Yeah. So you want to be careful of, like, fixing your teeth

but looking natural. But I get it. I honestly feel badly for the actress that did it, because I think she's probably feeling weird. Yeah, but tell us one of those things. Like, you and I have been in this game. Yes. We've done characters on shows

where we've really gone hardcore. And I do feel bad about some of them. Like which ones? I mean you did an Amy Winehouse that was great, but it was... Well she can't get mad at me. No, I mean that's... You die. You dodge that bullet.

But you know what I mean? I remember I used to do a... I think I would have had a lot more trouble doing it if we're social media aware, is it here where it is now. Those are different, once again different now. Once again, different time. I wasn't getting that kind of response. We weren't getting like that response really on Twitter or anything right after we did it and then it would be gone and then there'd be a new show the next day.

So it didn't like live in infamy and there weren't like reels cut of every single thing we said and did. And I do get it when you everybody is talking about everybody on their podcast, reels get cut, bits get cut and then people really like go, oh, I can't believe they said that. Now it's like, no, good, talk about me. Who cares? But I get why you get her.

And that's probably the first time she saw it. And I remember they did a parody of Chelsea lately on SNL. It was funny. I think it did bother her. Oh really? I don't know. Yeah. I remember a lot.

I have a weird memory. And I remember there was a girl being Loni Love. Yeah. Someone being Ross. Yeah. And then. It was just like three loud mounts. And then like, yeah, somebody else.

Like nobody was doing like me or anything. And I think it just was like, it's one of those things that are like, you know, of course they were going to make something fun of something that was successful and different than anything we've seen. Just like they've done so many parodies in the beginning about podcasts and how lame podcasts are and now everybody has one, you know, like everyone shit on it in the beginning. They do that on a Sunday Night Live. They do like a podcast sketch where they talk about like bro podcasts. Right, exactly. They're all shitting on it because the beginning. They do that in a sudden. They do like a podcast sketch where they talk about like, bro podcast.

Right, exactly. They're all sitting on it because they're probably like pissed that they're sitting there, you know, having to kiss Lorne Michaels ass while like their other friend who didn't get SNL writing staff from four years ago is probably doing really well on podcasting. So they want to shit on it. So it's like, yeah, yeah I think but I think I

can see why you know and she's gonna be fine and Baskin or Gloria was just the first time she had to deal with but by doing this now. She must have heard this before in life. But I don't think she was a big enough star and this wasn't as big of a deal but you know what's good about this now? Now nobody's gonna do her. There might have been somebody right now kind of about to do a video. They're probably taking down their videos. Yeah. And you know, like doing that whole thing.

Like I saw a guy getting out of the, it was making me laugh. He was just a normal guy. He didn't have big teeth, but he was coming out of the pool and always being like, don't go to Hong Kong. And then he'd go back in the water, don't go. And I was like, this is funny.

It's funny because we all watched White Lotus. It's like COVID jokes. Everybody watched White Lotus. But by her calling it out and stuff, now she can sit back and know that nobody's doing it. No one's gonna make fun of the teeth ever again. I mean, I know that this is a easy response to this, but you should be more concerned when they're not

doing parodies. You know what I mean? Right, yeah. Just go. Just roll with it. Yeah. That means your career is going well. It's when they stop, that's when you

got to start concerning yourself. True that. I mean, it's true. It's like, yeah. But it's a, you know, she's. But I get it. She hasn't had this kind of fame yet, so now she has to get used to it. Guys, you know, she's. But I get it. She hasn't had this kind of fame yet. So now she has to get used to it.

Guys, you know, we are so excited because Sister Wives is returning on TLC. I mean, you know where we left off. Christine is in love and happily married, but Janelle and Mary kind of starting to form an alliance finally, because they're looking for possibly loves on their own but also land. What is going to happen to Coyote Pass because the only people left together are

Cody and Robin. So what are they going to do with that land? What is going to happen? Are they going to be able to make a monogamous relationship for the first time really work? I want to see, I want to see the dynamic. We're gonna get the juicy questions that we've been wondering, they're going to be answered, and you know Christine is not gonna hold back. So all of these dynamic personalities and all the juicy history behind them and going forward is coming back this Sunday on TLC

at 10 p.m. so juicy scoopers get ready. I know I'm not the only person that procrastinates when it comes to seeing a doctor. Because you tell yourself, oh, I don't know who to call, I don't even know where to begin, it'll heal on its own, it's not that big of a deal, I'm busy this week, oh, I don't wanna drive all the way over there, where do I even begin?

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14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over 25 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to Acorns.com slash juicy scoop or download the Acorns app to get started. This was kind of interesting. I saw this clip from Oprah and she said when she was ending her Oprah show, which was such a big deal for only for her now to come back. I mean, ABC 3 o'clock Channel 7 here in Los Angeles 3 p.m. Yes, Oprah I remember I used to run home to I loved I rode my bike home because it was at 3 and we got out of school

Like 250 so no matter what they did one day could be you know, they had somebody it was like a burn victim Yes, next day was Tom Cruise. I mean it was just always great it was just so good I always missed the first part of it yeah but I knew what was coming up hoarders meth moms whatever it was and I always liked that stuff more than a star but anyway so now Oprah she made such a big deal I'm leaving the most popular greatest show ever to have my own network, but now she's like the rest of us and she has a podcast. So she's doing her podcast and she's saying how when her final night,

because I remember the goodbye to Oprah went on for like a fucking year, okay, these shows. Her final thing was like people coming up to her and just singing her praises and everything. And I do remember one time she had an episode where she had like all the other people before her that no longer had talk shows from like Ricky Lake to whatever. And she was like, so what's it like when you leave the daily talk show?

And everyone's like talking about, oh, it's a hard thing. And she's like, then all of a sudden Oprah's like, yeah, but I'm also going to my have it my own network. Like, I was just like, why? Like, you're not like going off to space. Like, it's like you're whatever. So she does her whole thing and she says, I remember she's talking to Maria Shriver, mother of Sax, who played Saxon, Patrick, who everyone's in love with now.

And he was very good at it. Strangely enough, he doesn't look like either one of them. I see a little bit in both. You do? And what was good about his acting is there'd be times where he'd kind of look dorky and lame. And then there's times when he could look kind of like, like a player. And so I think times when he could look kind of like,

like a player. And so I think he is a good actor. He was good in it. But anyway, so, and he's likable. So anyway, he, she says, standing across from me and she goes, and it was all set for the final, final, final goodbye that you were supposed to come

because they were like best friends from when they were both like 25 year old writer, journalist, whatever. And she's like and that morning the news broke that Arnold had a child with your housekeeper. Oh wow. And I was like did not expect you to come and you did and I'm thinking I bet she loves that you're bringing that up. Yeah. Thanks. Another favor I'm doing for you, Oprah, to do your show. Hey, you have any other shitty things you want to talk about that happened to me in my life? That were also good for me? Like, you came to celebrate me.

Let's talk about half my family being assassinated while we're at it. Oh my God. Yeah, so then she's like, yeah, but you were my friend and you're always there for me, so I was gonna be there for you. Oh my. And I don't know, it's one of my favorite Hollywood stories

is Arnold having the child with the maid that now is like was on Dancing with the Stars and is really good looking. Nice guy. And you know, it's all fine, but I'm always just like, I can't believe that the maid didn't realize how valuable the situation was

and continued to be the maid. Right, right. Like continued while she has a child who like the grandma has to watch. Right. And she's watching these other kids and she's like, well, my Arnold kid is being watched by Abuelo in Pacoima while I'm folding the monogrammed Maria Shriver towels.

And I know this every year. Every year I know this. And then she even said she suspected it one year. She said, why don't you come over for Christmas? Because the boys were very close in age. There's a younger one that's... But the one kid looks exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's the kid. Yeah, I know. So then he comes over now at, like, eight,

and she hadn't seen him, you know? And Maria was like... Is that...? Merry Christmas. What? Oh. Anyway. Oh, my God. Okay, did you hear about Mickey Rourke? Merry Christmas. What? Oh. Anyway, OK, did you hear about Mickey Rourke?

Did I hear about it? It's the greatest story ever. Why don't you tell us, then, if you know all about the Mickey? So this is Mickey Rourke on Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother, our girl JoJo Siwa, who really is just, I just, I love her. I love JoJo Siwa. Do you? I really is just, I just, I love her. I love Jo Jo Siwa. Do you?

I do. I mean what's the- I just think she's just so fucking happy. Yeah. She's not stopping. Rolling with the punches, doing reality shows now. I thought, yeah, and I saw her do a part with the him after he said the mean thing about the lesbian.

Like he's like, oh. There were two things I think. He's like, you won't be a lesbian after a while. Like he wants this fucking mask face. Oh my God. He, have you? Here with some of the quotes. I watched a clip of him like,

he was like laying on a couch and just like, you know, skin was like falling, peeling off and. Ugh, remember he was just so hot in nine and a half weeks with a... Yeah, it was a long time ago, but still, what's happened to him now, who knows? Oh, okay, so he said, this is what Mickey Rourke said to cute little JoJo, who just has the cutest face

I've ever seen, like just so cute. He goes, if I stay longer than four days, you won't be gay anymore. And she says, I can guarantee I'll still be gay and I'll still be in a very happy relationship. And then the other guy, Chris Hughes, was like, you can't be saying that. And then he also said, vote the lesbian out real quick.

So then they did talk to him, but also he was creepy to this other girl, the host or something. Who's this? AJ Oduda? I don't know. He was like grabbing her? It's an English show. Oh, oh, oh, they're on the British one?

The British one. Oh, okay. So anyway, he was real creepy with her and she's like, stop, you're being flirtatious. So all of that together, she did want to vote him out, JoJo, but it was actually the producers that's like, you need to go, and now he regrets it. But I think they probably, like, this is what you want on these shows.

You want, like, now they're probably like, well, we should have kept them, because it's fun to have them here. Like, isn't that kind of what you want to see him lying around on a couch, just saying ridiculous things? Just being like an old politically incorrect creep. That's why he was cast. Yeah, with his scary fucking face.

Yeah, with his scary face. His face looks like it was put together by other faces. It is Titcherly Mr. Potato Head. Yeah. Yeah. It is wild. I mean, I don't know how old he is. Is he 70? He's probably like mid-60s. Man, that's rough. Yeah, he just got he got bad work done too early on. He always said that it was never work. Like if he would have waited, there's better work now, huh? He always said that it was never work. He said it was from my boxing career. That

pushed his cheekbones up? He did. He said like the boxing. I was punched so much that my cheekbones went up to my eyebrow. Yeah. And I don't know what that hair is. That hair is like not even, I don't know what it is. It's just like trying to like hang on with like a youthful. He's got a paintbrush on his head. Oh my god.

Oh, poor guy. Whatever. You know, now he's just out of it. I guess he's taken whatever they pay on these shows. Because he was on Masked Singer. He did Masked Singer too. Yeah, I think all these shows, you get one big fee, whether you get cut the first day,

but then you get more if you stay. And then you get like a bonus if you win the whole thing. But you also have to pay Mickey Rourke probably more than you would pay some other people. But that's why they don't let you like leave. There's like a thing where if you want to leave, then you like lose your money. Because I think so many of them get there and they're like, you know what, I already made my whatever.

I made my 50 grand. I don't need to stay and make an extra five or 10 each day I stay because it's fucking hell. Like I remember there was some like athlete that just wanted to leave and he was like, I just I don't care. Like, please vote me out. Like I'm losing my mind in one of these big brother things. And I was like, oh yeah.

Would you rather be stuck in space? Or in the big brother house with Mickey Rourke? Yeah. I would choose the big brother house. Yeah, I would too. Cause at least I can walk out onto the street. And you could like walk around, yeah. Yeah, they said when those two astronauts finally came back, they had to like learn

how to walk and stuff. Yeah, because I mean, they have no gravity. Yeah. So wild. Anyway, Eric and Lyle Menendez, the judge grants a re-sentencing hearing. So this is like real big news. However, one of their aunts who was pushing for them, she just passed.

But pushing for them to get out. Tammy was there, that is the wife that Eric has had for a very long time. Now Lyle, Lyle is, had two wives. Lyle had two wives. One who was Anna, who she fell in love with him during Court TV. And she also had this other boyfriend I've talked about that I made out with once that was on Jenny McCarthy's show. And he said he would come home from trying to get sitcoms and auditions, and every day she'd be sitting there watching court TV. And then one day Lyle called her, called, and he was like, well, you accept a call

from the blah, blah, blah? And he's like, who is this? And he's like, it's Lyle Menendez. Put my girlfriend on the phone, you fucker. Like he was like mean and threatening him. So they break up, she falls in love. And I'm like, well, he was on TV, and like you weren't, like what do you want?

That's all that matters. He's famous. Yeah. She finds out he's cheating on her, meaning because you can't have conjugal visits, but writing other women coming, they get divorced. He mirrors another girl. She now found out from within prison. Yeah. She now found out he's with this young English girl that has come to visit and everything. Yeah. But who's also in love with him is Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah. Rosie is writing him and talking to him from Ireland

ever since she saw the doc. For Rosie, she doesn't need to read any legal things. She doesn't need to read. She sees a doc, that's the truth. Yeah. That is her new truth. She's done this with a few other things. Right. Yeah, that is her new truth. She's done this with like a few other things, right? And

so she says You know, I love him. I Love him. He's become a very good friend. She moved on from Tom Cruise. Remember? She loved Tom Cruise on her show. My cutie patootie or whatever. When she was not out yet. Yeah Yeah, she was pretending she was straight there for a minute. That was her whole shtick. Yeah She was the most. I was on this talk show with Ross. I did it for like five weeks. And it was called Hollywood Today Live. And it was myself, Garcelle Bouvet from Real Housewives Beverly Hills, Ross and this other blonde guy. And they had this shtick going on that he was like in love with Garcelle and every day we had to act like it was real.

And it was just so like I'm like this is so lame. Like what? What are we doing? And he'd be like oh and then they'd be like before break they'd be like and whoa whoa whoa not so close to Garcelle, buddy, or whatever, and you'd be like, and she'd be like, I mean, it was just so dumb. I'm like, this is so, the fake thing of loving your co, it was so stupid. Not to go back to what I always go back to, and my apologies to anyone who thinks we talk about it too much. I don't care.

It was like when, in our Chelsea Lillie days, when we had to pretend that she gave birth to the dogs, you know? Oh, yeah. I was always like, what am I doing? Like I remember having a writing, and then Chunk, I was born and I was like, what the fuck am I doing with my life that I'm writing? Like, can we base this in some sort of reality, please?

I remember one day, you had a prediction that came true. Oh, hell I did. Yes, and you said, we are this close to having the dog talk. And it did. I remember. It did. It was that Jenny McCarthy, who at the time was very close to Chelsea. Yeah.

They were like best friends. She was like sent a video or something that she was now making love to the dog or the dog was cheating on her. Yeah, because she watched the dog for, I know. She watched the dog for a weekend, and then it was like, so then it was supposed to be, now let's have the dog say, like, I got fucked by Jenny McCarthy.

I don't know what it was, what bestiality joke it was, but we were like, what? Like, this is so dumb. So dumb, so dumb, but whatever. You know, speaking of that, I just did a TikTok thing that is just so dumb. So dumb, so dumb, but whatever. You know, speaking of that, I just did a TikTok thing that is just as dumb. Oh, no. There's a TikTok challenge.

You can take a photo of your dog and ask chat GPT what it would look like if it was a human. So we did it with Raven. My dog is extremely good looking. And the girl came out and she is stunning. Stunning. And I was like, Oh my God. And I said, this, she looks like she comes from the East Coast. She has very little makeup on naturally dark hair, blue eyes, like my dog. She looks like she's like a junior at Brown full scholarship, but she wouldn't let you know that she's on full

scholarship. She's just like classy, a little aloof, you know, she knows she's like a junior at Brown, full scholarship, but she wouldn't let you know that she's on full scholarship. She's just like classy. A little aloof, you know. She knows she's good looking. She doesn't have to wear like any makeup. Dad's a doctor. Mom's a, you know, English professor. She doesn't, you know, we don't know if she's going to go to law school or do something with the UN. There's been a lot of opportunities.

And yeah, that's what I see her as. So then you can do it about yourself. You can make me into a dog. Yes. How to come out? Well, what's interesting is Shannon and I both were like golden retrievers. Both of us. And we are related. So they know that we're the same breed. Isn't that weird? Because they made her son something else. I feel like the whole thing's weird. It is weird. Yeah. It is weird. Okay, so... Have you seen Horse Girl or whatever?

This DJ? I think she played at Coachella. And does she wear a horse head? No, she's got like a horse face. She does the makeup, I think, where she... Oh, she dresses up. I just thought... She's a human body horse face.

It's the strangest thing. Okay, but... Okay, I think you're saying people think she looks like a horse and she's embracing it the way I embrace Billy from the Saw series. No, I think she makes herself like horse face. Okay. Well, interesting. Yeah, anyway. Okay, so, you know, they're supposed to have this. So I guess there's going to be another

let me just read this. Okay, so there's going to be a resentencing. The judge is allowing a resentencing effort for Lyle and Eric to move forward. But the district attorney had opposed the resentencing, arguing the brothers haven't shown full remorse or taken responsibility. But they're saying, no, they've been model inmates. And so there you go. So they've always said, the DA is like, no, because they were killed for money. Right.

You know, otherwise you would have kept the mom alive. But you know, why did you kill the mom too? Yeah. And then it was planned and everything else. But I think most people feel like they wouldn't be a menace to society. They obviously would start a podcast. Okay. Clearly. Yeah. wouldn't be a menace to society. They obviously would start a podcast, clearly, that would start off as, you know, stories from prison and helping people, and then people would

lose interest, and then they would start talking about Bravo. Speaking of that, have you listened to any of Meghan Markle's new podcasts? The new one, just the trailer, did you listen to some? Yes. Tell me. Because I joined up, I'm on her mailing list for her company. Okay, yeah. As ever.

Okay. So I get some fun stuff. Just to remind people, you guys worked together at Mirabelle. We did, yeah. We were good, we're dear friends. And when she rolled up the... The silverware. The silverware.

Side work we do together. Side work, yes. Did she do it more beautifully or do like an extra burlap string with it that you did not? No, nothing like that, but she did do it better than I did. She was very good. Even as a matter of fact, I think in the show she does on Netflix, she does a little of a calligraphy.

No, she really does have to. I know, and that's what she used to write the specials. And she gave me a calligraphy birthday card that I really does have to. I know. And that's what she used to write the specials. And she gave me a calligraphy birthday card that I wish I still had, but I don't. Yeah, because you're like, who's this dumb waitress? I'm never going to keep in touch with this weirdo. So anyway, so tell me. I listen to her podcast, and it's just so boring.

You know, she's talking about packaging of her as ever stuff, sending out honey or whatever. And I was really concerned about the packaging and what are porch pirates that's what she says like someone told her about porch pirates she goes I never heard of such a thing porch pirates she's never heard she doesn't watch the news with a million million of ring camera they told her not to put on the on the packaging and the outside of the packaging It's her company because porch pirates will take it going. Well, it's Meghan Markle's honey. I'm taking it So that's even more annoying

Anyway, that's what I listen listen to well it all sold out But then other people said well, I mean it takes a lot of She had to pick a lot of raspberries in Montecito to fill up even 20 jars. Yeah, and then she gave them to like famous people. Yeah, so I'm not surprised it ran out. The question is how many did she make? Did she make 100,000 units or did she make, you know, 300 units? Right. I don't know. I mean. So, good for her. Good for her. Here's the thing, Meghan Markle's new $103 million business with Amy Schumer and Connie Britton,

and it's something about, like, women's health. Oh, good. All right. Whatever. Love it. You know what? She's the breadwinner. Yeah. That, you know, balding carrot top is not doing anything. Yeah, what has he been? He's not going to do anything. Yeah, he'll be fine. He'll be fine. Everybody's going to be fine.

He can just be her husband. He can just teeter around the house. Okay, wait. Okay, so I asked my sister Shannon what she thought about Lori Vallow, worst mother on earth, is now in Arizona. She decided to represent herself in one of the other murders,

like the murder of the husband, I think. That clearly the brother shot him to remind people Lori Vallows was the one who believed in the doomsday thing and she and her boyfriend her husband killed her two kids because they thought they had were demons but prior to that she had another husband come by for custody and Her brother said they got in a fight and the brother shot him. And they let the brother go, but then the brother died very weirdly too. So she's on trial for one or both of those murders. And she decided, you know what, I don't even blame her for this. Now I don't blame her for this because she's doing life regardless.

So you might as well have fun. Representing. So she's doing life regardless. So you might as well have fun. Representing. So she's representing herself. And she's like, no, I'm going to represent myself. Like when she was with Keith Morrison, like she was acting so weird recently. But I'm like, yeah, obviously she's crazy. But so I guess the clips are like crazy,

where she's just, you know, like acting like she's on date, law and order, which I don't blame her. Yeah, I love it when people represent themselves. It's always off the rails. Off the rails. So I asked my sister Shannon, because people say, can you ask Shannon, who's a criminal defense attorney? Right.

What do you think of representing yourself? And she said, well, it's always stupid, especially when you are unstable. Clearly, she doesn't think she is. Sometimes people are so entrenched in their story, they can't let anyone else tell it. Also, no attorney would, as it's crazy and not a defense that would hold any water. Yeah. I agree with you. So there you go. Yeah.

Why not? There you go. But I think she's probably like, I could get a public defender who's not, who was again, not going to tell my weird ass story. Or she was Mrs. She was in one of those Mrs. Pageants. She likes the attention, she likes to be on stage. And it gets her out of jail for like an hour, right? Doesn't she have to, doesn't she go to a courtroom? Yeah. Yeah, so.

Are you up on the Karen Reed case? I'm not. Karen Reed is the one who's that whole story. And she's in her second trial right now. Because they threw out the first, they couldn't come up with something. Which traditionally, Karen Reed is the one who they said that she backed up on her cop boyfriend and left him down in the snow. She's saying he went to a house party

and then, and she left because she was annoyed that he didn't come out to get her. And she believes that something happened in the house where they killed him on purpose or now they're covering it up, the cops. So it's, so anyway, they couldn't decide on, it was a mistrial. So now they're doing it again,

but traditionally when they do it again, it's actually worse for the defense and better for the prosecution. Because then it's almost like they can go over, like, well, let's not bring up this thing and let's push this. But then I would think the same thing would go for the defense. You get a second chance at it.

I think what happened is I do think something happened with the guy, but maybe they got in a fight and he was like, oh, fuck you, and he walked out and then he fell in the snow and died. I don't think they killed him and then threw him out in the snow, but that's one juicy crime. Here's another one. The widow of Woodland Hills.

Oh, right here. Not me. In our neighborhood. Not me, yeah. This is a real juicy crime that I'll tell you really quickly, because I covered it. I can tell it quick. So there's this guy, and he is straight married, but he's big in the hair industry.

And at this point, he is like an executive for Wella hair. Has two teenage daughters, and they live just south of Wells, very close to you. Very close. You know your main street that you drive down? Just the other side of it. Okay. Anyway, I don't wanna say where Chris lives,

but very nice area. Thank you. And seven years ago, he's out on his porch at like 5.30 at night. And he gets stabbed to death. And the daughter finds him. And so they're like, oh my God, this must be porch pirates. This must be, this must be a horrible crime in the valley.

And as like a Woodland Hills resident, you're like, cause that's where I was living. I was like, oh my God, this is just like terrifying. They see two guys in hoodies on the ring camera, the Porsche, his Porsche is gone, but they, you know, don't know what happened because only the ring cam like from the outside you could see but not or someone else, you know, someone else's properties could see them. His whole thing was disabled. Okay. That day just happened

to be disabled. So everyone's like, Oh my God, this is terrible. Well, then they find out that she has been screwing this former porn star turned racquetball instructor from the West Hills 24 hour fitness. And he was a porn star. And then he went into a racquetball. Yes. Oh, okay. It was like a like a real like a valley or straight. No, I think straight, straight porn is like. So he was like in his 50s. She was in her 40s and they they did it. And he got this other guy to help him. Wow.

And they so then he went to trial and he said, he's doing life and they're like, come on, your girlfriend was involved. And he sat and it was like so many days of testimony, he always said she never knew, never knew, never knew. But the evidence they had from like the burner phones and everything else, like she's sending him like nudes, like she's sending him nudes that like at the funeral.

Oh. And they're like, well, she's like at her mother's house. And like, she was just a gross person. Anyway, she did get convicted. And she's in jail now too? She had to stay in jail this whole time. That's how much evidence they had. They didn't let her walk around.

But she always said, I never knew, and once I knew, I didn't want anything to do with them. But she did get it. And I was just like, I'm always fascinated by these stories where it's like, really? The D was that good? Remember when Gypsy Rose goes, the D's on fire? Like, I'm like, really?

Yeah. Now, I'm guessing it was. Yeah. He's a pretty good looking guy, a mixed race, porn. Yeah, but scared. Used to be in the army. Oh, and he was a convicted pedophile too. Oh.

Or maybe not pedophile. Well, no, a pedophile, because the girl was under 18. Yeah. And he already did a couple years for that. And it's not like he's making a lot teaching racquetball. And I was like, does anyone even play racquetball anymore? I always think it's only in a movie, because it's an easy way to get a conversation.

With two guys. Yeah. Like, oh, ha, ha. Can't believe your wife said that. Ha, dummy. Yeah, because all you have to do is just have a camera here. And then they end the scene where the ball hits the guy in the head and he falls down.

And he goes down, yeah, just like the treadmill. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,, I follow this girl, and her name, anyway, I'm not going to even get into it. You don't have to show her face. Anyway, I've been following this, so I followed this girl. And then somehow I started- On Instagram. On Instagram. And she was really cute and really funny and sexy, but kind of also girls that like very,

she does this little funny stuff about being like a bitchy girl. It was very good. Anyway, then I realized she had this big only fans following and then she's like I'm so excited I'm doing my first movie in Australia and then we're doing a collab. They call it a collab That's what they call like getting together and like making a porn now. It's just a collab just working with other of Like a collab. Yeah, just like if you and I were gonna do like this's just a collab. Just working with other of like... A collab? Yeah, just like if you and I were going to do like, this is like a collab podcast. But then it's just like a classroom way of saying...

When do I get to fuck you? So I'm watching and I'm like, oh, wait a minute. This girl's meeting another girl and they're like, didn't we have fun? And then they start talking about how like, how like they worked with this other guy. And in, you know. So this is gonna be on our only fan or something? I don't even know, but I was just like, I mean, it's so normalized by everybody putting everything on social media, like get ready for me

while I go to reconstructive surgery for my anal cavity after, you know, having sex with 400 men. And they're just like, well, it makes me happy, and I've got millions of dollars, and I'm just like, it's just, I can't get over it. And then I literally saw this other girl go, get ready with me while I go to go get

anal reconstruction surgery, because she did so many people. But in the but? I guess so. And then there's the Lily girl that's like, oh. Yeah, I've seen this one. And then, ugh. Why? Yeah, all right.

I don't know. And then people are like, why does this girl keep showing up on my feed? I don't want to see this. It's just so disturbing. I always feel, you know, listen, bad enough for the girl, but what about the guy who's 724, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that's-

Well, they normally, if they're in the videos, they like have their faces covered. Yeah, they don't normally show the guys. And it's always weird when it's like a, what do they call, gang bang, I guess you'd call that? Yeah. And I feel like all the guys keep their socks on. They're always like walking up.

It's like a line and they just have socks on. So sad. But I mean, who the fuck who would do that? Losers, I guess. Yeah. Or they're just or they're just like, oh, I get to, you know, I get to do that. Like the same the same guy that like goes to a really a game where it's freezing out But because he painted like half of his body green and half as a body blue He's just gonna freeze his ass off in the stadium There's a big difference being a sports fan and being 628 in fucking some girls

I don't know if there is Not if you're cold the whole time. How is that a good time? Nobody could even the whole point is having the camera on you. No one can even recognize you. No one can even like, oh really? Oh, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, both are embarrassing if they're your kid.

So you guys, you can't do that at the Masters. Good thing you didn't go to Peter to never. Yeah, there was no, there was no weird, there was no weird match. There was nobody wearing jerseys that said like, worry on. Yeah, no there wasn't. No, that's also classy. Now when you go to things like that, or you know, all the lifestyle you're leading now, do you ever just let go, man, look at me, things of this is nice. Nice life. The boys are now grown. Yes, I love it. They're gone. You and Peter are free

to live your life and do it, come and go as you please kind of. Really, it is great. I mean, it must be great. It really is a great reward. Do you ever stop and think this is amazing? All the time. All the time. When I see other people that have young children, no offense. Well, no, because I say that because- I don't envy, where is my child gonna go to school? You know, we're going on the four week cheerleading trip.

All that stuff, it doesn't make me jealous. Like Gwyneth Paltrow recently said, I wish I had more kids. Well you were at- And people ask me that, do you ever wish you had more? I'm like, no I don't. I wouldn't want to be dealing right now with like a 15 year old girl to have to go through

the whole process of where she's going to go to college again. Like, no. It wasn't as fun as I thought it was. While you were at the Masters, I was in Myrtle Beach and I went to a pirate show with me and my wife and my daughter. We went to a pirate show. Like one of those things where you eat and you watch the pirate. Oh, like kind of medieval times. Medieval times, yeah, yeah.

That sounds fun. I would have liked, I loved stuff like that. Honestly, I went begrudgingly. My daughter was very excited. I gotta tell you, I loved it. I would have loved it too. Fun. I mean, I bring chicken. You sit there, eat chicken and cheer on your pirate. I know some people I think thought it was real. They were like, my pirate lost adults. And I was like, I think it's just a show for the children. Yeah. I don't think you really need to be cheering on your pirate. Yeah. But anyway, and then yeah,, chicken ham, bring corn on the cob, yeet it, watch it.

When they were doing the pirate show, because I didn't really realize what pirates were until the Somalia thing happened with I'm the Captain Now. And I was like, that's really what pirates were doing back then, huh? It's not that kind of pirate though. These are old, ey, you know, eye patch, pirate, you know, from Disneyland. Pirate on the shoulder.

It's not, it's not, the show's not Somali pirates. Remember when I remember wearing like Umbro shorts. Yeah. Jumping on a boat, cargo boat. No. I remember the Disneyland, they changed it so many times. First it was brides being sold to the pirates. And then a fat bride chasing the guy.

Yeah. And then there was a guy chasing a girl around. First it was a guy chasing a girl, then they changed it to a fat bride chasing him. Now I don't know what it is. And then there was a lot of like winos and I feel like those they kept, like eating their toes and like the dog shaking. And I just was like, and then, you know, yeah, I mean, I loved that.

But they changed so many things now. But okay, so these pirates were just living on the ship, like having a good time. Yeah, it's a lot of acrobatics and stuff. I got to tell you, thumbs up on the pirate show in Myrtle Beach. If you guys are ever in Myrtle Beach, go see it. It's a Dolly Parton production.

Really? Yeah, my mother kept saying, Christopher, it's a Dolly Parton production. I was like, oh, well in that case, and you know what? She does a quality production. I love it. Yeah. Were there like hot pretty girls in it at least?

Mermaids, yeah, hot pretty girls. Okay, that's good. Everyone's a gymnast. Yeah. So there's a lot of gymnasts. I was a big fan. Yeah. I went to the Lion King in New York City,

which I spent, I got like orchestra seats at the Lion King, and halfway through my door I was like, okay, let's go. And I'm like, we are not leaving. We are staying to the end of this, for what I paid for these tickets. Oh, she wanted to go, yeah. Which isn't, she's not following the story. She's like, it's been an hour, I think we're done.

And I'm like, no, we are watching to the end. I have a hard time going to theater and stuff like that. Because I always look and then I'm like, okay, now it's intermission. Yeah. And now it's always shorter after. Yeah. And I'm like, I mean, I still like it.

I just, I'm annoyed that I look at it so much of like, well, how much is left? You know, and it's just, ugh. The mermaid thing, I've told people for years, I want to swim with a mermaid thing on my body, but a long pool so I can really feel like I'm getting the workout of the fit. And Peter ordered me one. and of course it was cheap,

and it was just a piece of cloth. I needed to almost have the feet and stuff. And I think I need to do that soon. That's a bucket list thing. To get a real mermaid bottom where I feel like it helps me swim faster. I guess I wouldn't- Almost like a fin.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And I really want to do that. So if anyone knows where I can get a good one. Yeah. I don't love my stomachs and I have to do a one-piece. I have to.

Maybe if I can get a scale all the way up to the neck. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that'll be fun. I know you have to- Speaking of that, let me just quickly, I don't know if you've heard, it might be an interesting thing you talk about. Yes.

There is TSA. Yes. We both travel a lot. Yes. And TSA today has changed. There's now 11 new items you can get on the plane that you couldn't get on before. Finally after 25 years. After 25 years.

Okay, tell me. Some things don't have to be three ounces anymore. Okay. Isn't this interesting? But this I thought over-the-counter medications can be more than three ounces. Prescription medications, gel packs, gel packs are medically necessary. But this one's funny. Food and drinks for infants and toddlers. Live fish. You can now get live fish as long as they transported in water on the plane I feel like that's an odd one who's transporting fish on the plane why I don't know that's one of them because it's like your your pet breast milk or baby wait I want to say say I saw a lady on the plane with two dogs yeah I don't know call BS. How can you say that you, why do you need two

if you're flying alone, so then you have two service animals? Yeah. Why would you have two? Yeah, I never saw two. Why would they allow someone to have two? I don't know. Also, I noticed a lot of people flying now,

just a huge backpack, another suitcase, and a bag on top of that. What the fuck is that? I was kind of a little guilty of that. Traveling with my daughter, I was like, I feel like we have a lot of bags still carrying them on. But we made my daughter, she was like a little pack mule. We put a lot on her.

We're like, just keep walking. She's like, it's heavy, just keep walking. Anyway. When we got back from the Masters, they got the notice that one of our three bags is delayed. Like, they put it on the following flight by accident or something. Oh, no.

And Peter had all this Master stuff that he bought, like, for his friends and stuff. And as much as I had expensive things in my bag, I was like, please, just let it not. Like, let him, he's like, I don't care about my old clothes, but I had that duffel bag, better call it. And I was like, that duffel bag came, I was like, thank God, and then his bag came,

and I'm like, oh, fuck. So my bag was gone for two days, but it came. It was okay. I was at Costco last week, every time I'm in Costco, I look at the clothes, the men's clothing, and every table I look at, I'm like, this looks like Peter. Like all the tables look like Peter.

There were so many Peters that, like, from a distance, I'd be, like, waving at some guy. Like, Peter! Peter! And I was like, oh, there were Peters everywhere this weekend. Peter was a dime a dozen. I know. I feel like... They all look the same. Eventually, you get to a certain age,. I know. They all look the same. Eventually,

you get to a certain age and everyone just morphs into the same person. You know, with some sort of wicking material, outfit. Well, somebody, he was able to use someone's past because it was just another potato-looking guy, head with a hat, bad lighting, bad lighting photo, gray hair. I'm like, perfect, perfect. No one would ever know. But wait, get back to what else? Besides the live fish. You can get fresh eggs. Now you can get fresh eggs on board.

I know. You can bring eggs? Why would you be bringing produce? I thought the whole thing was, have you brought any produce from this place? Shouldn't be bringing fresh, I guess you can bring a sandwich, fresh eggs, okay. Well, I guess, okay, anything else? That's it. And then most of it's just, you know,

biological specimens. Like, you know, if you had like a stool sample, you can get it on now. Or blood sample. I want to tell you one more quick story, speaking of this girl went viral this weekend, telling how she's like, I got to my host family in Italy, which is you agree to watch a child help with like cooking and cleaning in in you get the free room board. She'd only been there five days and the video starts. I'm escaping my host family in the middle of the night. It's 5 a.m. Watch me as I escape to the airport and get the fuck out of Italy, okay? So people start watching, and it's like 25 parts.

By the end, people were like, that was so annoying. Like, what did you expect, girl? Like, her thing was like, so, I mean, I just spent a lot of time with this child, and the mom then would just leave and go to work. And I'm like, yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. And my job was to walk the child to school at 8.30 and pick them up at 6.30 at night.

I'm like, this is the easiest thing. She's like, so then my days off are half a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Well, Sunday, they wanted to take me to Portofino. And at one point, you know, like they were walking ahead of me and I'm like, I've been holding this kid's hand for like a really long time. Like I am not kidding. I watched the stuff and I was like, everybody was like, and then and then she said she was

yelled at by the mom, but then other people are saying, well the mom, English is her second language and Italian's like speak loudly, whatever. But this was the epitome of like, and then she was like, I was very shocked that they didn't speak English. And they're like, well the dad didn't, but the mom did. And it was just the most ungrateful, like, I'm like, this is why no one wants to hire anybody.

Yeah. Like, you were there for two days, and you had three days off. And then they took you to Portofino and expected you to help with the kid. And then the next day, you left at 5 AM, because you were like, didn't feel safe. Yeah.

And you felt overworked. Well, it's funny. We were talking about Coachella before. Yeah. And, you know, because these people had to wait in line to get into the campground or whatever, and it was hot, they all want refunds. And I'm like, oh my, I mean, could you

imagine people asking for refunds from Woodstock? That was a shit show, too. There was mud and, you know. The second Woodstock was like, horrific. And the first one, too. You know, just a nightmare. Nobody was asking for their money back. I remember this thing where they're like, what?

You know, it's like, it really was, it really is like, looked up here like every homeless camp that we have here. You mean the one in, yeah. Cause I'm like, you know, they have to camp, they're waiting, they're on drugs, they're like eating crap food, they're dressed barely anything,

they've got their vag out peeing there, like, and dancing around. I'm like, I don't know why you had to go do this. What is this? Like you said earlier, it's a young people's game. And we look at it from our old eyes and we're like, oh, that's awful. But if you're 21, it's probably fun. Yeah. And of course, the people that have the super duper VIP, they great, you know, like the cart drives you and all of that. But yeah, the whole thing is just I do think about that. Like, yeah, what are you complaining about? Yeah. Like, why are you?

But I also just think these girls are so scantily clad, you know, like very that's such an old lady thing, but very, very little dress. Yeah. And. And my niece went and I'm like, you know what? I don't even care what you wore. Because maybe it's just who I'm watching, but it doesn't seem like a lot of straight guys go to this. It seems like it's- It's hard for me to tell anymore.

I don't know, maybe because straight guys aren't on TikTok saying we're going to Coachella. It's also the bands that are playing, you know. There's not a lot of straight guys. Like, it felt like every photo I saw was like very, like girls wearing barely anything. Yeah. And, but like sexy. And then like they're gay besties.

And so I was kind of like, well, you're clearly just dressing for like, to pose. Just a concert. But like, if I was going to Coachella 20 years ago, I would be hell bent on like meeting a guy, making out every night. Really? Yeah, I don't think it's that. Wasn't that the point of like going?

Yeah, but those days are over. Nobody does that anymore. Hook up, culture's done. I know. And also, you don't have to film... I'm sad about it, too. You also don't have to film Lady Gaga. Like, put the phone away because you can get that content anywhere. You could take it from someone else.

Yeah. And then, and like actually enjoy it and see if you can't meet somebody. Nobody wants to meet anybody anymore. I'm with you. I know nobody. It's it's over. Anyway, this girl's a little twat but you know she'll be fine. Um alright Chris everybody wants to know you know they love seeing you live. Oh my god. Where are you? I brought a list. It's a long one. Can I can I just rattle off a couple? 100%. I

need to sell some damn tickets out there on the streets. Everybody, everybody, you guys. April 25th, I'm at the Roseville Theater right up here. Roseville, California, about five hours, Sacramento. May 3rd, Tampa, side splitters. Fun. Back to Florida. May 4th, Dania Beach, improv. Nice guys. Zanies in Nashville. I love Nashville. When is that? May 8th, May 8th. Great. Zanies in Nashville. May 9th, I'm, Zanies. When is that? May 8th, May 8th. Great.

May 9th, I'm in Somerset, Kentucky, at the place called the Virginia. Are you getting a rental car and going from place to place by yourself? I do. I get a rental car by myself. I love it. Once I'm in the rental car, it's heaven.

And then do you listen to your own podcast? Sometimes. I listen to yours, too. I like this one. I remember one time, Brad had said that. What kind of monster listens to their own podcast? I listen to mine all the time, and laugh, I love it. Me too.

It's the only thing I've done in my career that I like. I know, I'm with you on that. I didn't love watching myself. Me neither. But I do like listening to the podcast. It probably does make us monsters, but you know what, at this point, who cares? Parkway Theater in Minneapolis, May 22nd, my birthday show.

Ooh, Euclare, Wisconsin, a place called The Plus, May 23rd. Diamond Joe Casino, Dubuque, Iowa, May 24th. And June 6th and 7th at the Comedy Vault, one of my favorite clubs in Batavia, Illinois. June 6th and 7th, Batavia, Illinois. And that's the summer. So that's a lot of May and June, and then you're taking July up.

Then I take July and August, go to Montauk. Are you doing your Montauk house? I am doing Montauk. I've been offered an opportunity possibly. Oh my god, where? I don't know. The Hamptons or Montauk? Well the Hamptons but it's not that far, I've been to Montauk, not that far. For maybe getting a situation with a couple people in August. Yeah, it's a good time. But you're gonna be there July. We go July 4th. So that's the, and you go for a whole month?

Like two weeks. Not quite. Yeah. I don't want, they wanna do a month, but I wanna try to work something out where I just like two weeks. Go to the crow's nest. Have you been? I've been to the crow's nest. I love it. Oh, that's so nice. I love the whole vibe.

Me too, it's my favorite. But I don't know that I even have to rent a house because I do have a friend who has a house, but it's nice to have your own place. Yeah. And she's in- But you'd be in with other people. Yeah, but that'd be okay.

Yeah, that's fine. Like, I don't know. It just popped up yesterday, but I'm like, that would be a fun experience because again, yeah, I don't have anybody at home. I don't have to do shit. No, you could live your life. You had to deal with bullshit for the last 20 years. Now it's over.

It's over. Go live your life. Maybe. So cover to cover is the show. Cover to cover is my podcast. Chris Frangiola at frangiola.fun. Everybody does love it. And Chris, you're just a delight.

You're always so funny. Frangiola.fun has been. I've never heard one person say they were disappointed in your standup show that they went to go see. Yeah. Okay. That's good. No, no, no.

I feel like they always say, so like you've, so look at his dates, see if he's coming to you, give him some love. And I actually have a call with my agent today, probably for him to tell me it's over, no, wait, oh, you get back on the road. Well, you know, if you go back on the road. No, no, we're figuring out what like late summer fall will look like. But right now I don't have anything on the books.

But something to look forward to. Which is fun. You could bring fresh eggs on your next, if you go on tour again, fresh eggs. All the eggs you want. Or my own fish. Oh, you know, you could bring your fish, as long as they're in water.

Thank you. And everybody go to HeatherMcDowell.net. If you have not joined my Patreon, it's so amazing and everyone loves it. Thank you. This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name. It sounds like a nightmare, but for millions of people each year, it's reality. And here's the scariest part. By the time companies tell you your data was stolen, it's already been nearly a year. 277 days. That's how long on average hackers have to use your social security number, open accounts, take out loans and destroy your credit before you even know you've been exposed.

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That's a u r a.com slash defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. Hi, this is IMHO the podcast. That's Darby. And I'm Darby. And I'm Alexis. Hey Darby, what does IMHO stand for? I'm so glad you asked.

In my homosexual opinion. That's right, in my homosexual opinion, the podcast answers your weird questions because we have weird answers. Yes, and we also wanna hear all of your stories. Maybe there's a situation you've been put in and you just don't know how to get out of it. Well, we'll get you out of anything.

Yeah. Or maybe you've seen a dead body. Yeah, I need to know about that. I would actually love to hear about that. Alexis and I, we are professional podcasters. We've made all the podcast charts and now we're ready to make your podcast hearts. Okay. We know you need a new podcast to be obsessed with and what's more obsessive than two drag queens talking into microphones?

So listen to IMHO the podcast, anywhere you get your podcasts. It's in my almost annual opinion. IMHO the show.