Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola, Summer House Secrets, and Roast Regrets

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

The hilarious Chris Franjola joins me to break down the latest juicy sightings of Amanda and West in Italy, we’re diving deep into what this means for the future of Summer House and the franchise at large. We revisit the roast now that the dust has settled to see if the comics are still holding grudges over those brutal jokes, and we’re unpacking the most shocking bombshells from Hayden Panettiere’s new book. Plus, we discuss the latest in the Clavicular case, the bizarre "mogging" movement, and why this generation’s obsession with 50-step morning wellness routines is actually ruining their ability to have a good time. Of course, we wrap things up with our summer plans and a look at the hottest eyewear and hat trends, because we aren't just comedians, we're fashion icons. -As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between free Sirloin Tips, Ground Beef or Chicken Wings in every box for LIFE, PLUS $20 off when you go to ⁠ButcherBox.com/juicyscoop⁠  -For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit ⁠Nutrafol.com⁠ and enter promo code JUICYSCOOP -Go to ⁠bioptimizers.com/juicyscoop⁠ and use code JUICYSCOOP to get 15% off your entire order + a free bottle of Masszymes — BiOptimizers' best-selling digestive enzyme — added to your order automatically when you use our exclusive code -Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at SHOPIFY.COM/juicy⁠  -Go to ⁠Leesa.com⁠ for 30% off select mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code JUICYSCOOP, exclusive for my listeners. -Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to ⁠Quince.com/juicy⁠ for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Subscribe to my new show Juicy Crimes!: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/juicycrimes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stand Up Tickets and info: https://heathermcdonald.net/ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.patreon.com/cw/juicyscoop Watch the Juicy Scoop On YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://juicyscoopshop.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopTZFUvAeokrJJ6dQ5wuAW1T3nssO6pHk47u7KymJUBtBgKCvfX Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HeatherMcDonaldOfficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. Heather McDonald has got the juices scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go. Juicy Scoot is the show to know. She talks Hollywood Tales for real life, Mr. Sigmund serial data and serial sister, you'll be addicted and addicted. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop.

Oh, it's your favorite day because it's a Chris Friend, Jolong, Juicy Scoop Day. Thank you. Delightful. I was waiting for more amazing things about me. I always say all the great things, but I feel like you have truly recently fucked up really bad. as a husband. It's nice to relive it every day since it's happened. You know, word got to me.

Right, right. You have shared on your very successful podcast. Cover to cover. Cover to cover. Your insanely popular Patreon. Yes. Which you do a great job at. Thank you.

A horrific story. Horrific. Yes. Story. I have a similar one, which is why. I believe everybody probably does. I hope at least. Because it'd make you feel less bad.

It'd make me feel less bad. Why don't you quickly catch the people up to what happened to you? Okay. I mean, I'll make it as concise as possible. I had a birthday trip planned. Happy birthday. Thank you very much. And I was going to Cabo San Lucas, all, everything ready to go or already.

What hotel can we say? Yes, the Esperanza. Beautiful. Beautiful. One of the best out there. Yes. And yeah. So, and first class tickets.

everything ready to go. How many nights? I think four nights, three nights, four nights, something like that. Perfect. Yeah, the weekend, more or less. More or the weekend. Like a Thursday to a Monday type of thing.

Okay. And I go to get my passport. About 11 o'clock, we're leaving in the morning 9 a.m. So our bags are packed. Now it's grab the passports and we'll be ready to. Your wife has put together all the outfits. Everything.

Bags are zipped up. Like they're by the door. Oh, you guys are prepared. Out the door. And now with my, six-year-old daughter, there's a lot of moving parts. Right. My mother-in-law is coming over to get her, so it's a ton of things going on.

She's got her week planned. Everything's done. Yeah. She's all excited about where she's going. I go to look for my passport in the place that I keep it constantly. Now, I also have to say in my defense, I've been traveling every weekend for 35 years, more or less. You know, on the road.

Totally. I've never had one issue ever. I've never missed a flight. I've never lost keys, a wallet, anything ever. and I can't find my passport. I look, I can't find it. Now, of course, it's... Okay, so you open the drawer.

It's not there. And then what's internally your nervous system, your butt hole, your heart, what's going on? All of it. All of it went up to where, I don't know, where it goes, you know? And it was like a thing where I knew it wasn't, I knew it was gone the moment I opened the the drawer. Of course, we checked every other thing in the world for hours, but... How soon...

How much time do you look at it? look on your own before you approached your beautiful wife. Oh, she knew right away I approached her because it was like, I can't find my best part. So we began to look together. Was she like calm down and we'll find it? Yeah,

she was pretty calm about it. And then when do you call it? Well, we had to call it because we couldn't go to bed because then we'd miss out, we had to call the flight pretty quickly, a couple hours in. So we were able to get your money back?

Or use it. We got money back on a flight, no problem. Just a money back. But the hotel we lost a day. We got a couple. We did okay on the hotel. We lost some. We lost some.

I don't know how you are as a couple. Yeah. Was she like, it's your birthday. I don't want you to feel bad about it. You work so hard. You provide everything for this family. No, well, hardly.

My wife provides much more. Yeah. Okay. Where was it in the screaming, yelling, crying? No screaming. silent treatment what was it I don't think it was any of that it was just a disappointment she was

you know we were happy to be away from the child for a couple of days we were meeting some friends there they were already there so it was a whole and they're bummed too yeah yeah so they go a lot anyway so I don't feel too bad like it's their place I if I was looking forward to a fun couple coming I felt like shit I felt like I let everybody down

it was it was not a good but I should also say this. So in about three hours before that, I can't find the best part, a pipe in our house burst under the sink and just water gushing out, ruined the entire kitchen that we just got redone. So that happened. So that's horrific. Horrific. So now, uh, just before I came here, I was with insurance people. And then at that time, did a bear come in your house? It might as well have been. I mean, it was just like how much more. We would get into the stories of how the bears have entered. Woodland Hills, Calabasas.

I would have, I would have prayed at that point for a bear to come and just eat my fucking head off because it would have been better than dealing with the shit I had to deal with. We wound up pivoting a little bit

and having, we went down to Laguna Beach and we just said, you gotta do something else. And we had a pretty fun weekend down in Laguna Beach. Was it overcast though? Or did the sun come out?

It came out eventually. I mean, it wasn't great. Not as sunny as combo at this time of year. That's what I kept hearing. Anyway, And then, of course, now I'm going to the process of getting a new passport, which is a nightmare. Okay. So let me tell you my story. Okay.

So I've been using my passport to travel for the last two years or whatever it is because, or a year, because I hadn't gotten the real ID. Yeah. Okay. So I was bringing it to places that were not out of the country. Yeah. That was like to get on any flight. And we were going to Cabo, first week of April or something. something and like two months before somehow Peter was like, give me your passport or something.

And I went up to the drawer that I keep it. And it was not there. And it was immediate panic. And I look in the purse that I remember traveling with. Right. And all of that because I'd always like put it in this little purse. I always had like a cross bag and like a normal size purse kind of small when I travel. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm not going to fuck around.

So we start looking, what's the quickest way? And this gov.org. And then all of a sudden. Oh, there's no quick way. Then the scam start coming and this and that. We start to pay. And I'm, anyway, so we're in the process of doing it. I think we spent like 250 or something.

We're still waiting on it. And I went again and looked, started to open every purse. And I forgot that I took a purse to Palm Beach for a wedding in January that I don't normally travel with and it was there. You found it? Yes, I had it. Oh my God. So then I stopped the process.

Yeah. So I never got a second passport. I am out $200 or whatever. I do have it. I sense after attempting seven different times I have it finally gotten the real ID. So I have the real ID and I have the passport. Nice. But I think you will find it.

No, I don't think so. I really don't think so. So where do you think it went? had to have it for Toronto, how did you get home from Toronto? I got home from Toronto because I had other stops after Toronto. I stopped in several other cities. I was driving a rent a car. So you think it could be in the rent a car.

Maybe perhaps a hotel room, rent a car. You know, that's the other thing. You start tracing back, back, back, back. I still think it's in some weird spot. I don't do weird spots, though. I don't really do weird. People are like, it's in your jacket pocket. I'm like, it's in a case that doesn't fit in my jacket pocket.

like, uh, if you find it. Well, now it's been canceled. So, okay. If you find it.

I've moved on. It's just, if I find it now, it's just throw in the garbage because. Will you tell. Yeah. Anybody that you found it. Yes.

I thought about that actually. Because I think I wouldn't. You just, you just keep it, not even Peter. Actually, you know what I would do? I would take it and I would put it in one of his junk drawers under some stuff.

Yeah. And I would. would blame him for trying to gaslight me and make me crazy. I thought about all this. This is all, these are all the things that if I found it, that's what I would have done. But anyway,

it all worked out. It's all, it all worked. I'm still married. I'm still married. I'm over it. Like, it took like five days for me to like just get back to like a comfortable place where,

because we lost a couple of bucks. But also, we were just so excited about going on vacation. Yeah. And also just like the anticipation before and even just like, I hate packing. Right. And every time I go anywhere, I'm like, Heather, no, you don't have to do the Instagram

photos anymore. You don't have to have multiple purses. You don't have. So I'm trying to pack less and more late. But still, I spend days thinking and leading up to the packing. So it's like that's where I would be mad. Right. If I hadn't already packed, but the packing is what, but at least you were packed then for

Laguna Beach. Yeah, we already, we just grabbed our bags and went right down there. Wow. Well, I, I am so sorry. Well, speaking of going on romantic trips, also tying into, we both remember in our Chelsea lately days, there was an editor who, when they got up to, I believe, we were all heading to Cabo for something. No, no, no, no, no.

It was his Italy. That's right. It was his honeymoon. His honeymoon to Italy. And I believe either it was the night before or they might have been at the place. They were at the airport. They were at the airport. And he could not find.

It was expired. Yeah. And he let him. her go ahead. Yeah. And then he joined her like five days later. Uh-huh. But that was a story we talked and talked about.

I wonder if they're still together. Yeah, I wouldn't know. But anyway, we're still together. Well, who's still together? I think we're going to make it. I do too. Yeah. Is Amanda and West.

I have people say me, correct me and say his name is West. I think it's West, like East West. Uh-huh. And my audience knows the story. I filled you up. This is the Summerhouse reunion. Summerhouse. But the latest is Amanda, who was having a deceptive relationship with West behind her

husband's back where, but they were separated, but her best friend Sierra who had also dated West. It's all coming out. They set on the reunion. They didn't have sex until after they put out their statement, which would have been late February. No one believes that. They, as the reunion came out, they took off.

We're seen in the airport thanks to, I think, Dumois and then overlooking a restaurant and this looks to be like they're in Rome or something. Right. Someone got a photo of them

and they're both just looking at their phones. The whole reason for you to leave America is to not look at your phone. Is to not look at your phone. Fuck West brains out while he nibbles on his pinky finger.

he's so gross and see if you guys can just live a life right but also you choose a place that's extremely popular to go this time of year especially with new yorkers because it's a shorter flight than l.A. to Italy like if you really wanted to just get away you should be going to like a sandals or something you know like where middle-aged people wouldn't recognize you and who could just whatever you know what i mean like right right right Anyway. Remember those weekends you go? It was called hedonism.

Remember those? And you went and everyone just like, it was like a bunch of bros and there was supposed to be women there. I don't think there were. And it was like sexual. There was a movie that Rosie O'Donnell did where she was going to be like a Dominary. It was a Gary Marshall movie.

She had like lost some weight and she was going to try to be sexy. She just came out and said that she got a facelift even though she's been bashing people that got plastic surgery for her. Oh, really? She said I finally, you know. I jumped on the wagon too and got a facelift. Good for her. Good for her.

What did they use for that? A fucking crane? I mean, I love Rosie. I do. I shouldn't say that. At least, you know, hey, she's sharing. Anyway, can you just fill me in a little bit? I'm not familiar with the Bravoverse at all.

I know a little bit about this story. It is a big deal because it's kind of like a scand of all. But I want to just be before that. Go back before Summer House. Yes. What is that? Now, why are a bunch of adults in a house together anyway? Well, when it started 10 years ago with the OGs,

They were all like 31. Yeah. So they were, you know. But it's like a party house. So it was one of those things that, you know, city New Yorkers that have a job go, let's run a house all together in the summer. Out in Montau. The Hamptons. So they got the idea of we'll give you a house.

We'll kind of cast you, but people knew each other. And people hook up when they go to parties. And they put cameras all over the house kind of like a real world. Like a big brother, a real world. Big brother. Real world. Yeah. And then they also have the people filming it.

And they always have a party with the theme every weekend. And people. And so it's been on for 10 years. So there's like when it was Hannah Burner and Paige DeSorlo and those type of people. Page just left. Hannah left a few years ago. And, you know, and that's where Kyle and Hannah had some issues. Kyle was a married to Amanda and he's a boozer.

And he's definitely like the star of the show. But are they all in the same home? They're all in the same home. So the couples that are at the couple. will share a room, girls that are good friends will share a room, guys will share a room. Right. People then start hooking up and, you know, all that kind of stuff. And these are adult people sharing a house.

Well, now it's weird because now they're like in their early 40s. And that's 50. That's very strange to me. You're like, what's going on? When someone was telling me the plot, I'm like, well, why would anyone 40-year-old be in a house with more 40-year-olds? Well, the thing is, is that just like the housewife, they try to age the mountain to pasture.

Okay. You know, much like my cat, who was a brief. Not my cat. My dog, Raven, was a show girl. She was a breeder dog. Yeah. Once she got to be seven, they said, you can't have any more babies. Her career is over.

She never made it as a show girl. Right. Now we'll just, you could adopt her for free at seven. Wow. That's kind of what they do with old housewives and stuff. And they get new ones in and then they put them out and they go, you can do some other show. Like we got to. And also, you've made too much money.

So now we also have to get rid of you. So that's kind of what happens. And they go like a tour. They sing songs. Yes, they start to sing songs and go out. And they did, but then they bring in younger people. Okay. And so with this, they said, okay, there's a couple of you that are pretty old.

Lindsay, Kyle, Amanda, and Carl, we're going to put you on a new show called The City. We're going to actually see what you do during the week. Oh, nobody cares about that. And now they've gotten some new couples to join that. Oh, okay. That are friends. And that show just started. Oh.

But this messy ending to Kyle and Amanda's marriage involves her now going for West. And one of the greatest moments is one of the other girls says, you know West had a girlfriend this whole time too. Right. Not Sierra, a whole other outside person. And this one girl goes to me goes to Amanda. Amanda, you really are pathetic. You went from being married to being one of West's side chicks. Yeah.

And she just stands there. She's just staring. She's just like, and she doesn't know what to say. And then Sierra is just going after her. And they're like, he's a clout chaser. He's a this. He's a that. And it was very entertaining last night.

It was a very good reunion. And so who knows if they'll make it? I hope so. I mean, I'm rooting for them. I don't even know who they are. The only way that people will leave them alone is if she does what everyone does when they're about to be canceled. is with child.

Oh. If she can get pregnant. Yeah. With West's child. Okay. Then they both can stay together for at least a while. Yeah. No one's going to be mean to a pregnant woman.

Whether it's call her daddy or Stasi or whoever. Right. Once you say you're pregnant, people leave you the fuck alone. Call her daddy's pregnant, right? She's pregnant. Yeah. Perfect timing because she was getting a lot of heat. The husband was getting some heat too.

was an asshole, a tyrant. Right. And then they're like, she's with child. Yeah, so everybody back off. So then they went over, those people with the pitchforks went over to say, Amanda, the scarlet letter, you're the worst person. Be nice. You're disrespectful.

You're too smugs sitting there. But if she gets pregnant with West's child, if I was her. Okay. I would be screwing West. And then while he goes to the bathroom to eat his fingers, nails off. He has a very bad habit. I would twirl my body around and put pillows under my pelvis and lift my legs up. Get it in there.

And hope that it gets in there. And then I would be like, I'm pregnant. And then they'd be like, ew, you're pregnant. And I'd be like, excuse me, Lindsay, who's also started the show, you got pregnant with the guy you dated for two months that you're not with anymore. Wow. So whether West or the noun or not, I have a baby.

I'm having a baby. Now, Summerhouse, is that, is it still happening? Summerhouse, we don't know. They, but you know what? They always start filming in the summer. So I assume, yes. So they're in the Hamptons again. So who knows if the two of them will film Summerhouse

or if they'll just take a break and get a bunch and a couple more young people. Yeah. The B team graduates becomes the A team. Okay. And they continue to make bacon. and drink rosé. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's like, I like to turn it on.

I had Brandon and Julie here. We made bacon and we've watched it. Oh my God. You know, you have to have bacon for it? Well, Brandy really wanted the bacon. She loves that they eat the bacon in the morning. I mean, it is kind of like, yeah. They've been brunchy.

Everyone gets back to, yeah. You're hungover. Right. I have to say that I can think of nothing that I would rather do less and be in a house with a bunch of other people. I feel like there's too many quirks that I people have. I totally agree.

And I also think that I want to deal with. I also think those two close of quarters as couples is what also ruined their relationship. They didn't have a chance. Right. If their life is, then everybody saying, you were rude to her and he goes to the guy. She gives me no attention. So now, besides America looking at you, there's actual people in your house saying that your marriage sucks or you shouldn't be a dean. or she's a bitch or whatever.

So like that didn't help. And I feel like now all these homes have open floor concepts and there's no talking shit rooms. You know, you need, you got to go, there's got to be like a place where you go, can you believe what that guy said, you know? But now there's not enough, that's gone. Right. So you got to all be in the same place.

And all you want to do is talk shit about the other people. That's the way I feel. I predict she's going to get pregnant and the baby will be called Capri. I love it. Okay. Start your Alienware Journey with the streamlined Alienware 15. They designed this machine to refine the essentials, creating a more focused gaming laptop for players who demand quality without the clutter.

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this person, really American media, somehow it came across. I did not watch this. I never watched a show ever, not because I have anything against him. I never watched the show. But see the clips, of course, but that he hilariously made his band play copyrighted material so that CBS would be sued for millions. Did you hear that? Yeah, I mean, that's, everyone does that.

Conan O'Brien did it. At the end of that show, they do these things. Letterman did it when he was finishing up. They do things to kind of like make them. I don't even know if it's real. I don't even know. I think it's a stunt for the show. Yeah.

Like, oh, okay. Right. It reminded me of our last day. Over Chelsea lately. Chelsea, and we did a song that we, I don't know if we had to pay for it or not, but we did a parody song to the tune of, we are the world. Was it to the, oh, yeah? Yeah, we did it too.

Goodbye to E. Oh, really? Goodbye to E. And then we had all the stars up there saying goodbye to E. It really sucks. And we're moving on to Netflix. And you wonder why E. Well, I mean, I.

Didn't really want to fuck with anyone from our group again. But yeah, that was the song. I barely remember that. I barely remember that. remember everything, unfortunately. And unfortunately. Yeah. But yeah.

Wow. That was the show. That seems like a thousand years ago. I'll tell you exactly. It was August 21 or something of 2014. Yeah. So we're coming on 12 years. We're coming on 12 years.

Speaking of that, Chelsea Handler in the news a lot lately. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about the roast. The roast. I, you know, it was a couple weeks ago. but it's still getting talked about because now all the comedians are going on their shows and other talk shows and podcasts and reflecting on were they offended? Did they like the experience?

Do they hate these other comedians? Were their jokes okay? But this person's joke was okay. Right. What is your opinion of the whole thing in the aftermath? Chris Frangeloic comedian. I went at the roast. I went live to see the roast at the forum in Los Angeles.

And I thought it was a blast. I was thoroughly enjoying it. Now, I talked to some people because I went to the after party. Yeah. And I watched it at home and I thought it was great too. Right. I liked being shocked. I liked being appalled.

I liked seeing the stars in the audience and all of that. But some of the people that I, like, I talked to Brooke Crusher and his wife and they said, you know, where they were sitting, it was hard to hear and catch everything. Oh, I guess I was in better hearing seats. Oh, maybe, yeah, maybe if you're right in front, like if you were one of those where they wanted to get the camera on you, I don't know. So, okay, good. So it was fun to be in the audience as well.

A lot of fun. A little long, of course, like everything. Right. Now, were you concerned like I was when it was first starting, as we were going midway through, I saw all these other people on stage like a Tiffany Haddish. And I'm like, this is going to go eight hours. I know, I know.

I'm so glad that they did. So that's also something I don't believe they've ever done. in previous roast where you could just be like a side comic supporter and look cute but not speak yeah i know and not be a target for the jokes either no it was interesting that tiffany hattish was even up there because she's kind of a big star yeah and she didn't really say anything no no she was one of them and then there were a couple guys on the other side that i feel were like his friends and his writers but they were not part of it either no yeah because it was getting along yeah so thank god they weren't part of it no

But yeah, it was, here's what I feel about the whole thing. And I've said it before. I mean, it's been a couple of weeks now. Yeah. So, but I know this is not a fun for podcast way to look at it. But, I mean, I felt like I watched it. I enjoyed it. And the next day I got lunch and paid bills and went on with my life.

You know what I mean? Like nothing in it I thought about ever again. Right. And I think that's kind of the way they're supposed to be. I mean, the roast of the roast. It's such a weird thing. now because they've been around forever and I know things are a little different these days. Well, yeah. And it's like they show old clips of roast. There was an old roast that they show like

the Friars Club when it's like almost all men. Maybe Phyllis Diller was there. I don't even know. And it was like the roast of like Rob Reiner, rest in peace. And every joke was about that his dad, Carl Reiner pimped him out as a child. It was all pedophiles. It was all pedophiles. jokes. Oh, yeah, yeah, at least the one,

they clipped it together. Right. There were many pedophilia jokes. Right. He was passed around. We got into bed with him. I mean, and, you know,

of course you see that and people are like, what the fuck is this? And I'm like, well, they went, remember there was that other show that was called like

the aristocrats? Yeah. And it was a whole documentary about an extremely dirty joke. Yeah. And they go to all these, and the better.

Yeah, and all this, and basically, it's like, the whole family fucked each other or something. Like it was disgusting. And so it's because it's the joke, it's like it's so far, it's so ridiculous that nobody really feels this way. Right.

Of course. It's almost making fun of that. And so I think that's where in this climate it gets confused. But now, you know, to hear some of the other comedians say like, oh, I thought they were racist and bigots and Nazis and all. all this other stuff. And I'm like, well, you guys kind of knew what was going to happen. I know, they were preparing it for three weeks. Yeah.

And there were rehearsals. And it certainly wasn't sprung upon anybody. Right. Yeah. There was literally hours and hours of rehearsals before the live show where they all heard the jokes that were coming. Yeah. There might have been some that were a little bit of surprise, just for the element of

surprise. But outside of that, everybody was pretty well aware of what was coming. And also, the people that, they, hired to do it, Shane Gillis, Tony Hinchcliff, both. That's what they do. Like, if you don't like it, I mean, just move on, I think. I don't know. And then Chelsea goes on like podcasts last week, saying that, you know, she hated it and hated these certain jokes.

But she had to do it. Like, it was like her Christian service to do it. No, she's Jewish. But you can't have it both ways. Right. She's like, I had to do it to elevate it for Kevin needed an elevated thing. So I had to do it for Kevin. And I did was, I was like, hey, look, I remember being a Chelsea lately, Joan Rivers was doing a roast. And she really wanted Chelsea to participate. Yeah.

And this is when it was Comedy Central and she was just like, no. And I didn't know if she was saying no because then you put yourself out there and she knew all the jokes would be that she's dating Ted the president of E. Right. Or it just wasn't her thing or she was too busy or she just didn't. want to do it. Yeah. But, um, so this was her first one that she ever did. Uh-huh. And I don't know if she did it because she saw what it did for Nikki laser with Tom Brady. That really was a thing. I mean, that popped Nikki. Honestly. Oh yeah. Well, absolutely. I mean, it gets millions and millions of views. Yeah. They're huge. All over the world. They're huge. Right. But also I thought Chelsea was great.

I thought she nailed it. I thought she looked great. I thought she landed all good jokes. Yeah. I thought she was, it was good. But I think. then when so much time goes on and then you read all the stuff and then it's like maybe you do get now hurt or annoyed by the things that were said to you i don't know everybody's different you know i mean i think this the thing we all knew what was going to be said about chelsea you know she's a whore and abortions and whatever but you know what it was interesting is they didn't bring up the ted harbert thing no maybe because they felt it was too old too long ago that was too long ago yeah not i don't know there was no photography or chelsea later than but like that that's what we're not that's what

too long ago. No, they had to focus on the Epstein dinner. Yeah, yeah, the Epstein dinner. Right, right, exactly. Yeah, you know, I always wonder what would be said about me, you know, and I'm sure it would be like, Heather McDonald's here, you know. Her husband only married her because she's gorgeous and he believed in her that she'd be successful.

I mean, mean jokes like that. Did I ever tell you the time? I'll tell you a quick story about a roast, you know, just they're hot now, you know? And then every now and again, people will be like, let's do one for friends of ours at a party or something. We want you to roast our friend. Roast our friend. So I got called years ago to roast Michael Yo's.

Michael Yo, you guys know Michael Yo. You spent on Chelsea. Lately, he's a great guy. Maybe they know him. Anyway, he's a great guy. Yeah, he's a nice person. And he's married. And his wife calls and says,

we're going to do it at a comedy club in the valley, a bunch of comedians. We're going to roast Michael for his birthday. So I'm like, sounds fun. I'll do it. And I was like, all right, it was a roast. I thought Michael would be on board. And his parents were there.

You know, Michael's half Asian and half black. So plenty to work with. And that's his whole act too also. That's his whole shtick. So I had a couple of drinks in the back. I think I was up like fifth or something. And I went up and I roasted hard. The family's there.

And, you know, I'm looking at the dad. And we can go ching chong ching. And I mean, they were just like, what is happening? Like this is not what we, I was so mortified when it was over it, because I don't think anybody signed up. I think they signed up for a cute roast. Can I ask you as a horrified thing in this business? Yeah. How often, how many times a year does it flash and remind you of like that was awful?

From time to time, anytime a roast comes up, I think about that thing. Because I have certain things like that in my life. They're just like will haunt me. Yeah, that's one of them. Yeah. Wow. And so did you want to get out of there? We were never really friendly anyway.

Were people like it was funny? Were the other roasters too soft? They were too soft because I think they were decent people. And I had, you know, I think we were just coming off Chelsea lately where we had been, you know, through it and hardened by everything. And we would make fun of him in the writer's room. Yeah, I know. So it was like one of those things where it's just like, oh, I'll just do what I thought you wanted me to do. It was wild.

I felt so bad. And I haven't talked to him since. but I hope he hears this. He knows that I felt bad. I don't think they cared much, but it was, I think his parents were upset. Anyway,

but you know, I did it. I roasted. And it wasn't like on Netflix and I think. It was in like a comedy club in the valley. So it's not like it was, I got anything out of it, you know,

other than being an asshole. And just for it haunting you. Yeah, haunting me, exactly. Oh my God. Yeah, it's one of those things where I,

if it sounds like a good idea because people will do that. Let's road. Let's do a roast for their 50th birthday. there something it's never a good idea no those are professionals that's what they want to and the thing is like tom brady like hated it after he said his kids were really hurt by it and everything right and so now now he comes out and he's doing it and he's now like acting like fucking zoolander modeling like i'm so over him really i'm over him yeah i feel like you're a lot of people are i heard a really good

rumor about him that i hope will be true oh really i'll tell you after okay it's not like a gay one because that's old news, old news. I mean, go on. We'll see. Okay, so the bears. There was a family of bears, four of them, caught in Woodland Hills, going over a wall of someone's backyard. The neighbor caught it on the ring camera and like call 9112.

And that was like on Abbeville. Okay. Then they were seen, I don't know if they're the same ones, Bears caught, they said, into a Calabasasas school, which is viewpoint. Yeah. Off of Mahaland, the bears were there. Okay. People are like, oh, the bears are there because of the Seamy Valley fire.

No, we're not close enough to Seamy Valley. Right. Are the bears there because of the $187 billion bridge? The bridge. Yeah. Or 187 million or 187 billion? Anyway, there's a wildlife bridge. So that the mountain lions were getting pissed, as you said, they didn't like fucking their sister anymore.

And they said that's cruel unusual punishment. So they made a bridge, which is still not done. No, it looks nice. I just drove on the way here. But are the bears going on it too? Yeah, it's for everybody, the wildlife bridge. So now the bears are open to all, all kinds. So do you think the bears are coming from, do you think the bears are coming from there?

I mean, we really have never. I've lived in the valley my whole life. We have never had bear sightings. We have had mountain lion sightings. Of course, tons of coyotes. Yeah. But the bear is a whole other thing.

Yeah, it is. And there has been quite a few sightings recently. And I think it's a food thing, you know, because they come down and then they, you know. You want to go to Airwant? They're like, I will have a Haley Beaver smoothie. Now it's a fight for the food. Who's going to get the food first?

the homeless people or the bears it's fun out here come on out everybody i mean that's fucking terrifying like that's scary yeah like they look cute i think they're very i don't think they bother anybody like a few just may what about people on hikes and stuff haven't you ever seen when you're on high and you have to go like this and just hold your head down and someone's like oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my no i and then i'm like what do you do like the bears in your backyard and what do you do? And I guess then you call the wildlife people and then they tase them and then they bring them.

Yeah. Then they drive them over the bridge. Yeah, they take them back home to, I don't know. Who knows? It's scary. Okay. This is always one of those things that I think would be, if I was going to get some fake publicity,

I honestly want this to be it. It's my favorite one. Which is somebody announced, you were dead, but you weren't. And TMZ said exclusive, Barry Gibb, not dead, singers healthy and happy. Because how great would that be? Did someone announce that he was dead?

I guess it went in the internet that he was dead. And then there was like, no, I'm not dead. And I'm just like, I just kind of think that would be my favorite kind of press because how great is that? Yeah. Like you thought I was dead. And I'm not. Like Jesus Christ.

Like, I mean. Right. But you know. It is a good one when you have to. I don't know if, I mean, Barry Gibbs had a very good career. He's doing fine. And he looks fine. I mean, according to this photo, but.

It's tough when you have to tell people you're not dead. Yeah. That's got to be a tough. I mean, it's a little embarrassing if you're old or if you're a drug addict or something. You're like, well, I didn't die. But I would be like amazing. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I'll start to spread the rumor that you're dead. Yeah. When I did that golf tournament at Netflix, I was walking recently with, and my neighbor is like, oh, hi. We're talking. And she goes. Oh, I was watching you do the golf tournament, you know, because it was at this club.

And she's like, and I asked the photographer, oh, are there any, you know, female comedians playing? And he goes, oh, yeah, Heather McDonald's here with her boyfriend. Oh. They thought Drake was my boyfriend. Wow. That's, I mean, that's both creepy and exciting. That's a rumor I want out there. Yeah.

Yeah. That's fine. Not that's your son. Not that I'm actually screaming my son, but that like Heather has a young boyfriend. Right. I'm going to write these down all for the roast on next. years, Netflix roast? For the last couple years, I had the issue of waking up at 3 a.m.

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Make 2026 the year you finally start sleeping great again. Twizzlers keep the fun going. Yeah, I know. I just stopped whatever you were listening to to tell you that Twizzlers keep the fun going. Well, irony isn't my forte, but twisty, chewy, yummy twisler sure is. So think of Twizzlers as a little pallet cleanser for whatever's queued up, which, by the way, should be coming very soon. Like any second now. Okay, Twizzlers, time to keep the fun going.

I love this. Speaking of old people, do you remember when certain people would have the vaccine that would look like a scar? Yeah. I remember she did I, Rewain, said, like, they'd be at the club and then they would, that's how you would know how old someone was. Like a woman could look really good, but if she had that. that little like punch scar that meant that she was. I think it was for Rubella, a disease that I don't even exist anymore.

This person wrote, most people born in the 60s and 70s have a large circular scar from a vaccine. I don't have it. I don't have one. I'm sure my parents were able to get away with that. I don't have either, but I got that vaccine. But I think they later on did it in a different area. And so you didn't see it. Yeah. How awful are you have full scar on your arm for the rest of your life? Like a branding? Anyway, I thought that was funny.

alumni of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alumni This is from the Real Housewife Zone I saw she has a podcast Of course everyone does She's had hers very long She confessed about possibly having Ringworm in her throat

After performing sex acts With a male porn star Oh Wow This title of a thing This is the comments were so funny They're like And this is when I need to put my phone away

Like this is when... Eventually, he gets the point. Yeah. This is when you're like, do you have to share everything? Right. Like, I get it. You go to your phone. Like, is Barry, give us all of him?

And you're like, what the hell? She got a ringworm in her throat. With a porn star. I know. And how does that happen? I didn't even know that was a... You just take the ringworm off his dick or something? I don't know.

It's like a real thing that can happen. But she also said that she had a, like a moving worm. in her face. I remember that. But a ringworm has nothing to do with a real worm, right? No, I think it's an actual worm. I think it just, although I could be wrong. I don't want to. This is the problem with everyone having a podcast. They run out a guess. They run out of stories to tell. Yeah. And, you know, and or then they tell a story that they, that regret, you know. And do you think that, let me ask you a question about podcast. He says how you want, one of the biggest in the business. and I've been doing it for a very long time.

And you could be offended by this, so I apologize in advance. There's no way you can offend me. But don't you feel like the secret to podcasting which nobody is mentioning is the fact that it's easy? You know what I mean? Like don't you think when Amy Poehler

ends her podcast with whomever she's with, say it's, you know, Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah. And they're done. And they cut camera. Microphones off? Yes. Yeah.

You believe they fucking pay me for this shit? We're sitting here talking about making bread or, you know, what time I wake up in the morning. And growth pouch, like, and how much did they pay you? Whatever, Spotify? $70 million. And they, but I, I just know that when they cut the microphones, all of them are like, can you believe this shit?

I was working over in Parks and Rec, busting my ass. People at that level, yes. And they have so many people working on it, too. Yeah. That really, and also, she has a great personality. So it's like, it's good. It's easy for her. Yeah.

It works for her. And she was watching her ex-husband make. you know, hundreds of millions of dollars with the two other guys. So why wouldn't she do it? Right. But I saw something where she said like she was starting to complain about it a little.

You know what I mean? Like it will get old. Oh, absolutely. Like once you've gone through all your friends and you want to stay a little private, then what do you do? Right, right. And then you're going to be like,

I do miss being on set. I do kind of crave wanting to do something else. That's what I think will happen with people like Amy. I think it's happening. I'm not saying she won't keep it forever, but there will be like a dip in the fun of it because you've run out of stuff and you've run out of all your friends.

Yeah, and looking like Mel Robbins. I mean, that woman's been banging her head against the wall trying to be famous forever. Right. She's been on all sorts of different things. And also one day she's, yeah, she had like a show on one of those HGTV things or something.

Remodeling bullshit. And then one day she's just like, you know, you people need to drink more water and people for whatever reason clung to it. And now she's like, can I, you believe this shit? I feel like that's what everyone's doing. And nobody will say it. I just said it. I mean, I'm not saying what you do is easy.

Well, in doing it though, sometimes in like my algorithm of my phone and seeing so many clips of other podcasts, it makes me hate it. It makes me want to go, oh God. Like, yeah. But I'm like, it doesn't mean that it takes any way from what I do because I know people love it and I still love doing it. But there's something about the saturation that like goes, makes me go, you know, but I still do it. But I feel like never run out of things to talk about. So.

Well, I mean, thank God. Because there's ringworms in people's throats. And also because it's in our way. And it's why people get over it. And also it's why I think stars stop doing it sometimes too because they can't handle seeing all the negativity. Yeah. Like I don't like your voice. I don't know.

You know, so unless they have a team around them keeping them from looking at the reviews or looking the comments under the videos. Yeah. And they really are disciplined like that. Like they must be like they're sober coaches and then there should be like social media coaches that live with you. Like if you ever having a great day, like you're having a great day. Yeah. I recommend a couple of minutes over at Reddit to bring you right back down to Earth. That's real fun over there.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. And so anyway, yeah, I do. Yeah, I think that for someone compared to being on Gray's Anatomy set for 12 hours. Yeah. Yeah, 12, maybe even more. Yeah.

But, you know, again, like only a few people, even the big stars can like pop. like that. Right. And, and, and, and do well with it. And then other people, after the year is up, yeah, they're like, the network is like, okay, well, you didn't work out. We lost, you know, yeah. We paid you four million and that was a big way. So goodbye. Or they're just like, I don't care. I'm dreading every Thursday. Leave me alone. Like, I don't want to do this. Yeah. Or come up with another concept, you know, every six months for another, like, if I have to see Freddie Prince Jr. throwing another concept at the wall. It's me.

I'm talking about wrestling now. Oh, my God, like when Julianne Ransick and Bill Ransick are like, big announcement, guess what it's going to be? I'm like, it's a podcast. We know what it is. It's not you launching a clothing line. It's not you doing a TV show. It's not a hallmark movie. Right.

We're not going to hold back. We're going to tell it like it is. I'm going to talk about this one snoring. Nothing's off limits. Nothing's off limits. Nothing's off limits. You got to hear the way she is in the morning. You're going to hear it.

Okay. I wear a face mask at night. It's a red light. He doesn't like it because we fuck every night. I feel like I'm sleeping with an alien sometimes. These are the kind of things you're going to hear. It's real. We're not going to all back.

And that's why we know what we have to, we have to get Kelly Rippa and Mark Consuelan. Oh, the things they can talk about. They don't, you know. They're a sexy couple that also don't always. get along. Stop it. So much fun.

Tune in on all the place you listen to podcast. You actually did an incredible Bill Ramton impression. Thank you. Literally you morphed into him right there. Yeah. Thank you. I forgot what he looks like, but wasn't he an apprentice or something? He was in The Apprentice.

And then they had the reality show for years on E. They have a ton of like restaurants and stuff. Yeah. They do well, but not well. enough that they could not do a podcast. Yeah. They had to do a podcast. But also I think they, I think couples think that we've been married so long, which

is a flex. Oh, by the way, today is my 26th anniversary. For real? For real. Really? I'm glad I could be here for it. Also, my post for today's show. And where's Peter on your 26th?

What are you guys doing? I mean, honestly, he is at Trader Joe's, which is pretty great. Oh. really yeah I told him I'm like I need don't buy so many packaged salads and stuff I'm gonna make my own salad I came across this is a lot of calories this isn't stuff I never realized huh so I'm going to just be making my own salads right um and so that's exciting yeah that is exciting and also my my on my grid is like a very a great photo of Matt Murphy and I from um my party last year because he was on my show for Jesus Crimes.

Yeah. And then tomorrow it'll be like you and me looking cute. And I don't even know if I want to do a whole thing. Oh, no. Should I? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah.

But anyway, I think a couple goes, this is what I think. I think couples that are in Hollywood that don't have a podcast yet are like, I can't believe we made it to like whatever, 17 years at such a flex. Uh-huh. And we should do this together and people will think we're so fun and great. And I would say. Yeah. The reason you made it to 17 years is because you're not doing a podcast together.

Absolutely. Don't you dare do that. That'll be the end of it. It won't make 18. I came across this thing where it's, you know, all these people, all these lines, whether it's L.A. or New York, where people wait in line like two and a half hours for a Greek yogurt. Bagels. Or, you know, a chicken seizure wrap. Yeah.

And it's all because they film it for, they're all influencers. Like every, that's the only, like none of these people have a regular job in New York. And there's all these other places don't have lines. And I'm like, you're just standing there looking at your phone by yourself for one and a half hours. I can't, this influence a world that we are now living in, nothing unnerves me more. I was down on, like I said, Laguna Beach at the montage. and the full photo shoots

that these people are doing. I mean, I'm not kidding. I'm not two. We have 25 people. Full photo shoots. I don't know if it's the husband who's doing the pictures. They're in full outfits.

They're, you know, got that thing that shines the light. Right. It's insanity. All for what? Like, I just can't. I see a line somewhere. I'm like, I'm out on that.

Yeah. on that. No line anywhere. I, um, yeah, it's very, it's very weird. I don't get it. And then this other guy, Stephen Bartlett, he kind of went viral. He has a podcast called Diary of a CEO. And he said, uh, I had two glasses of wine and it ruined me for three days because he is, he's only 30, but he does all the, you know, thing about wellness. Checking your sleep doing the day. When I watch these also videos of and be like, get ready with me. You know, they wake up at 4.30.

And they're young. They're like in their 30s. And they take off their mouth tape and they take off this. They have all these contraptions on their face. Like, must be in the worst night's sleep ever. And then they put their face in a hot and cold ice thing. Then they drink this. They do this elixir.

They do that. They do this serum. Then they do the guasha to shape their face. Then they do this. Then they do a red light. Then they, you know, make a coffee. And it's like finally by 7 a.m. Like then your kid wakes up.

And I'm like, just fucking wash your face, put some sunscreen on and get Botox. Like, Yeah. Well, this is too much. Like it's too much with,

I don't even know where to begin. I'm like, am I supposed to be taking? They said Kim Kardashian takes 30 vitamins. I'm like, I don't know. Do I want to live tell I'm 100? I don't think I do.

I don't think anybody lives to 100 anyway. You know, we always here to live 100. Remember they used to do the thing on a today show. It was a Willard Scott, remember? And he'd go, hey, now we got Susan Jones out of Nebraska. She's going to be 101. And she says the secret of her, the secret of her was he has a scotch every day.

Yeah. Remember? And it was always, though, you never saw one of those 101, 102 year old people ever was like something. Because I'm like, if you're doing 29 steps and you have a 29 step. And I also think it's really weird that that's like what like now, like 10 year old birthday parties are like, they're getting, you know, spa treatments. Yeah. Like they have a 10-step skin routine and stuff.

I'm like, why would you want to start that already? Yeah. I'm just kind of like, why? We've gone to a lot of them. We've gone to a lot of like full on. They have like buildings for it. Like they get pretty princess or whatever. And you go in and it's a full,

you get a silk robe and then you put on all the stuff. And then at the end they do like a like a runway. Yeah, but they're dressing up as princesses. Yeah. Yeah, some. Okay. Other one, I mean, sometimes the runway show, I'm like, what are we on? Epstein's Island?

What the hell's going on over here? Bikinis and shit? I'm like, okay, I think we got it. Let's go, honey. We're leaving. Get your goody bag. We're leaving. Oh, my God.

My daughter's got pumps on and a thong. Okay. She's six. That's why I'm so happy that Drake was born October 29th because I'm like every birthday party will be Halloween. Yeah. No goody bag. your goody bag is your candy that you got in the neighborhood.

People will be like, where's the goody bag? I'm like, no. Yeah. No. I don't know. It's, but I do think like when you do all that stuff, it's just kind of like, maybe that's why you're not happy because you're so stressed about the optimizing and everything. And I'm, I don't want to open my phone anymore and hear about how bad alcohol is for me.

I just don't. I'm, me too. I mean, I get it. Like curtail it. skip a day, whatever. But, like, also. Everything's bad for you. I mean, come on.

We live everything. I mean, there's chem trails. You're on a, you know, you're eating. Do you hear about the strawberries? They're like, don't have strawberries. I don't even know. You get little bugs on them. I mean, it's just like, I just kind of like, oh, like, why, that's why everyone should

be like, fuck it. Yeah. Everyone should be, fuck it. Let's drink. I mean, eat. Enjoy ourselves. Eat as well as you can eat. Yeah.

take a shot to be thin and have some fun. I told her I am 100%. Especially now it's summertime. Get out there. Enjoy your lives. J-Lo has a new show out. A new movie that looks exactly like every other movie she's ever done. You know, it's just her falling in love with...

They always find like the hot act, you know, whoever the hot person is at the time. This guy is the writer of, you know, he's Goldberg. Goldstein, Goldstein, Brett Gold, Goldstein. Is the actor in it? Yeah, he's the actor in it. Yeah.

And he's of the moment guy. Yeah. So yeah. Let's guess what the plot is. Remember I used to do that at Chelsea Lately. Heather predicts. Heather reviews, movies she hasn't seen yet. I think.

It's called office romance. All right away. It's in an office, I guess. It's in an office. They are going to address that it's a problem that you're having a romance with someone you work with. Right. There is going to be an HR person.

there's going to be a lot of diversity. Who's the head of the office? Is it her or is it him? It's her. For sure. Yeah. For sure. She's not like a new secretary or something.

I don't, do you think this new, which I would call is like a dry bar movie, but for today on Netflix, will it have that the sound, the music behind? Do, do, like all that like goofy stuff. Yeah. Of like, you know, when they're like, giving. getting stressed and, you know, walking and you show the shoes and will there be a scene where she's on a treadmill and then rolls out of scene or we finally passed that. I feel like we're past that.

I feel like we've all, we did it. We've all moved on. Julia Roberts did it all already. Okay. He'll, he'll getting caught in a plank wood. No. Okay, we're done with that.

I think we're moving on to something different. Here's a new, the office, other people in the office, not the two stars. The other people are going to be a lot of. A mix of a cast of characters. You got it. It is going to be wearing a whole movie. There's going to be a guy. You're going to be confused.

Yeah. Yeah. A guy wearing a skirt, which everyone knows one to dresses and thinks it's great. He has a big burkin bag. It's totally fine. That's fine. But that's the new one. Then there's going to be a character that you, you're not sure.

Yeah. Which way they're transitioning or not. not. Right. Okay. And their partner, there's going to be that. Yeah. And no one's going to say anything or be confused by it or anything. That's just going to be just. Yeah. And then, you know, but that, you know, you're going to be wondering about it. Yeah. You're going to be like, wait, hold on. And then basically me at every coffee house I go into an America. I'm like, I don't. Give me you get a lot. Hey, I think. That's fine. That's going to be in the movies because you're going to be like, okay. And then, um, there's going to be some big, it's going to,

be all about some big deal that's going to happen and there's going to be an element that they could make a lot of money doing this AI data center thing right but in the end just just just like remember at the end of pretty woman where he's like I'm not going to sell the company I'm going to make ships instead yeah ships that'll give people a lot of jobs so there's going to be some good element at the end where they're like we're not going to go the easy money route and sell out to high tech. Yeah. Together.

First, we hated each other, then we fucked, then we acted like we hated each other again. But in the end, they're going to do something good for the company that's going to benefit the world and it's not going to be the easy money thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, and if you watch it, anybody out there watches it and it sucks, I highly, highly recommend Devil Wears Prada too in theaters. It's fantastic. I loved it.

I went a few weeks ago. Anyway, that's all I'm going to say. I haven't seen that or Michael Jackson. Saw them both. I might, maybe I'll go to a movie tonight, but I kind of want to see obsession. That looks good too. That movie, we just heard about the guy's only 26.

YouTube guy, yeah. He had a budget of only $750. It's already made $200 million. Yeah. It's huge. Amazing. It's supposed to be great. I'm really excited for, for, that makes me feel great.

when those type of movies do well. So, you know, poor Matthew Perry, rest in peace. He had, you know, this whole thing happened where he died of the ketamine and the assistant is now facing up to three years. His name's Kenneth Yamaasa because he gave him the dose or got him the drugs, left him in the jacuzzi, went to go do some errands, came back, found him dead, but also, like, like got rid of some evidence and stuff. But the one girl got 15 years.

She's the ketamine queen. The other guy that that was the doctor, he got like 30 months or something. Another person got like five years. I will say in all the OD cases, because he's high profile, I mean, my God, his stepdad is Keith Morrison. Yeah. These people did. There was some justice for these people. I'm sure people would love that if there was that for other people.

But, you know, the whole thing is this guy was the assistant. That's going to be his defense. Yeah. And he was getting paid $150,000 a year, which is a good paying job. And where do the lines cross where you are an enabler, you're an assistant, you're a catch-all, you do everything. The guy has a drug issue. Yeah. It's coming from a doctor.

because the doctor got in trouble too. And I guess in this case, he's the one who injected him with it. He got to the point where, I don't know, some people get to inject themselves and Matt John Belushi was famous for it. That woman injected him. So I think this guy actually injected Matthew Perry with it. He said something like, get me the big one, whatever that means. And yeah, so there's an article in the paper today about assistance and how far they

they should go and how far they're asked to go with a bunch of different things, not just this. Yeah. Apparently they're asked to do like crazy things for certain people. And, you know, if they say no, they're fired, you know, in some cases. So they don't, they want to keep the job. And they're like, oh, just give Matthew Perry more ketamine. It's such a hard position to be in in both of these worlds. Yeah.

You know, it's like there's the assistant, you know, that then, um, you, you, you, you, you know, NDA or not, can you really trust that they're not going to, like, tell your story or whatever? Right. And then, yeah, and then there's a person that's like, well, now where will I go? Because if I leave you, will I be able to get another assistant job? Yeah. Or will you kind of like blackball me because you don't want me telling stories about this person to the...

I remember there was a Larry David where he wanted to get rid of his, like, assistant or secretary or whatever. and he was like, someone needs, I need to give her to someone else. Like, I can't just fire her and have her be like disgruntled.

Right. I need to get her a job somewhere else to like get her off my hands. That's funny. Yeah. The Hollywood assistant world. They've always were trying to do a show about assistance.

Oh yeah. And like what that would be like a scripted show. I think it would have to be scripted because no one would want to be. Right. It's too hard. No one would want to be on it. Yeah.

Hayden Penetary. She got a book coming out. Yes. She has a book out. And there's been a few. I was like, I'm seeing all these articles and I'm like, okay, what is going on with her? So she was an actress. But there were a few.

So I was like, what are the bombshells? One was, she was on a yacht, thought she was going to have a fun yacht day. And someone she trusted brought her down to like one of the rooms. and like put her in a bed with like a naked older guy and somehow she. A celebrity they said. Yeah. And somehow.

A lister was where I read. Whatever that. Yeah. And then we somehow got out of it and like hid in a small room until they docked. And then that changed her view of Hollywood. Yeah. This yacht trip. And then there was another time where she was a,

some kind of set of heroes or something. An executive producer tried to kiss her at like. like a holiday party. Mm-hmm. And then there was another one where there was an Oscar guy who said, is there gum on my jeans?

And she looked down and is just as balls were outside of his zipper. Yeah. I had forgot. Just his balls were outside of his zipper. And visually, that's horrific. Yeah.

I forgot about. How do you get your balls and not the dick part out? It depends. I mean, some people have longer balls than others, I would imagine.

But I think it's, I think it was a prank back in the old days when people used to go because it looks like gum. Yeah. And like boys used to do it to eat other boys. Like gum. I had forgotten all about that

until somebody told me like that's what it was. I thought they were actually talking about gum. I remember during the beginning, before there was, you know how there were like two rounds of Me Too? Yeah. There was like a Me Too pre-2015 that happened. And then a Me Too,

So who went down to that was like Spacey? Was that Spacey first? I kind of feel. And then there was like, you know, then there was Matt Lauer. No, and then Weinstein was really where it then started again. Yeah. But or maybe it was just about stuff in the writer's room or whatever. But there was a writer and it's just coming to me now.

So I can't think of her name. Who had a story. I either read it or some or they told me personally. But they were in a writer's room and they were like the only girl. and so awful. And they're just like doing like comedy writing, whatever. And it was like one of the guys

just like laid his dick on their shoulder. Yeah. And it was like tapped her and she'd like like go over and it was just like a dick and they all laughed. And then it was like, well, now what do I do? Like I don't want to leave this

high paying hit show that I'm writing on. I don't want a dick on my shoulder anymore. It's so that mentality, whatever bro mentality it is it's so strange to me i mean honestly that s and l viral song dick in a box is basically that it came from a writer that just thinks it's funny that a dick like a dick in a box you open a box in a dick that you didn't ask for is there yeah you know and the same thing like you didn't you shouldn't ask for this dick to be on your shoulder that dick bit like in a box or in a popcorn thing was like it was the premise for every movie i saw in the 80s you know they went

went to the movies with a girl, put their dick in the popcorn. It was in like five different movies. Yes. And then the dicks in it. It was in porkies. It was in like nine movies. Just different times. They were writing them all.

They were writing them all. Yeah. And they just think that we would think that's okay. But then when you see it so much, it does make you think, oh, no, it's okay. I would never, I'm not saying I'm a saint or anything, but I would never even begin to think of doing something like that. I don't know. It's wild to me.

I also talked about how she had a really bad alcohol problem, like to the point where she'd like liver issues. Ooh. And then she had, and then she willingly like let her daughter be raised by the husband. And now she's bisexual. And her husband is a very famous boxer, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And then she's like, finally I realized I was bisexual and I'm so happy to finally say it. Yeah. That's the way to go in the end. I feel like, I mean, yeah, bisexual is the best because it's like, you can't hold me to anything.

Yeah, exactly. I don't, I'm not leaving the hetero world and I'm not, and then if I go back to the hetero world with the dude, you can't say like I abandon the movement. Yeah. Because I'm just by. Mm-hmm. Well, good. I think there's more women that would just like to come out as asexual after they're married.

They're like, actually I'm asexual. don't ever have such with you. This clavicle. Clavicular, clavicular. He's my favorite. I am a look smacker. So he's only 20. And he started this thing, again, like the optimizer.

Is this like where you're supposed to do like jaw exercises and stuff? Or what? He actually hits himself in the face with a hammer to like chip away and make his jaw more defined. Do you think it works? Because I mean, that, There's so many things that are like lifting. Look, look at my face. I lifted it up.

I've done it before. I've had things and I do feel like, does it look kind of better or is it really making a difference? Or is it making a difference for like six hours? I don't know. I don't know either. I mean, I feel when you're 20, I feel like that's, you could shape your face. Your face is already shaped.

Anyway, so he was out with his friends and there were alligators around. And there was a dead alligator. but they shot the dead alligator anyway. And that is a crime. Yeah. And so he then went to the judge and the judge is extremely good looking. Yeah, he's like better looking at it. Yeah.

Yeah, he has like a perfect face. And why is like, oh, here it is. Okay. And so they made TMS. He kind of made a funny thing about that because it was all the analysis. Like his hair aligned to. where his bro is, that's the perfect forehead, the nose, the eye spatial.

Now, I'm familiar what this is. This is called magging, okay? You're being, Drake, it is. It's called mocking. So when a good looking person goes next to another good looking person in a picture, and then the comments underneath, one of the people will be mobbed, okay?

Meaning one is better looking than this. Yes, and then the people in the comments be like, his jaw lines better than the other guy. So if you have the poor, your line, you're being mobbed. So this guy, the judge, and clavicular's one who came up with all this bullshit, I think. So this guy

mogged clavicular right to his face while on trial. Well, he did pretty well, because it's like he just got like a probation and it could actually be removed from his whole thing. Yeah, yeah. But shooting at the alligator, remember

shooting at lobsters? Yeah, something, it was like a bitch, Chelsea was doing or something? Yeah. I, I, no, I do think there's actual people that like, shoot at fish to kill it. Well, yeah. That's a real thing, right? I think so, but versus just fishing. Yeah, I do believe that there is something to that. Sure. I'm not, that's a world. I don't know at all, but I've heard that. Some people throw dynamite into the lake too and just, and all the dead fish come up and then they eat. Well, you know, it's shark, shark summer.

Oh, is that right? They said, get ready. Oh my God. On both coasts. Really? And. I also heard ticks too.

A lot of ticks. It's going to be a pretty big tick summer. Oh, yeah. This is a good episode. People learning a lot. So the sharks, they said, because of the warmer weather

and the water, that's what I don't get. They said because the water's getting warmer, they come closer to shore, but why would they? Isn't the water always warmer closest to shore? Probably.

Anyway, they do. And they, there's a lot of them. And they're like eating seals. And like there was like a drone shot. One was just like blood everywhere. But it was a seal. And now they have this thing called Lulu's Law, which is like a Megan's Law, or not a Megan's Law, like an Amber Alert, but for sharks. So because there's been times where a shark will bite someone or kill someone or whatever.

attacks one. And now they'll be able to put out a notice to everybody that's on the beach in the next whatever five miles saying beware, get out. There's a shark that's eating people. Yeah. And this poor girl Lulu got her leg and her arm removed from a shark that had already attacked someone else. So that's what's called Lulu's law. Okay. That's a good law. And they, I just think I'm coming to a point in my life. I, I love swimming in the ocean. I really do. I don't really swim in like L.A. ocean, but like.

Sure, when you're out of vacation. Hawaii or whatever, where a lot of people get eaten by sharks so they get stuck in like a turmoil thing. I think it happens a lot less than you're letting on. Anyway, I just feel that I have done all these things. I have gone scuba diving and not died. I have gone snorkeling.

I have gone ziplining. I've gone on a horse and not become a quadriplegic and it's like you done it girl. You live the full life. You don't need to do it again. Is there anything that you have on like the bucket list or whatever they say

that you want to do one more time? Well you were talking about what's summer travel. Yeah summer travel. So summer travel I follow a lot of travel people. Okay. I follow these two girls she could stay. Okay. And I don't know what they look like or anything because they just do the voiceover. That's like Got it. So lovely.

And it's staying in nice places. Yes. And here's a perfect itinerary that we just booked for three days in Capri. Oh. We go here and here. First, you're going to wake up and get your latte at this place. Then you're going to go to. And I just go, oh, my God.

And it gives me sort of some anxiety because I don't have any plans. You don't. I don't have any plans. And I'm like, time is running out. You're better. The world is ending. I know. I'm going to get eaten by a shark.

and like I got to go. So what you do? I got to go. I'm going to start making some plans, but I feel like. It's more world. It's already the summer. I don't know. That's what's stressful.

That is. You waited a little too long. I mean, I'm sure you could probably still get something, but. I mean, I'm also extremely happy to stay in my neighborhood. That's nice too.

We do have beautiful weather here. Yeah. And that's never going to change. Well, of course, it will be it. It's going to get pretty warm now. But I'm saying like, I like it here, you know. But that's, I don't know.

Yeah. And then it's hard. Do you want to do a yacht thing? Do you want to just stay at a hotel? Do you really, do you want to make sure that you actually see something like a real museum? Do you? Do I need to go fly so far away if I'm just going to be like frolicing on the beach? Right.

Could I frolic on another beach that's closer? Yes. So then I have stress about that. I'm with you on all these. I mean, of course, it's, you know, I'm a very likely person to have this kind of thing, but it really does. Right.

And then just seeing everyone else's great time and seeing someone who's like 28 that's like, you know what? Every time they go to Italy, I lose weight and feel better. I'm like, how many times have you gone to Italy, bitch? I've gone once in my whole life. But you're at the point now where kids are older

and you can go on vacation where you don't have to like, I'm an, what about the fucking juicy scoop? Oh, people don't wait. They won't. I know. They lose their fucking mind. You take like one week.

I'm like, what happened? You can go one week without hearing about the fucking girl's ringworm in a throat. Yeah, but it's one of those things where I now have to be. Every vacation is just constant pool. They never, my daughter gets in that fucking pool at 7 o'clock in the morning and never gets out. If there's a body of water anywhere on our vacation, whether it be a river, a fucking dirty creek, ocean, pool, we are in it all fucking day. Well, I personally vibe with her because I remember going on a Hawaii trip.

First time we ever went to Hawaii. When you were a child. Yes. I was like 12 when my sister was 14 or something. And it was December and we went. and you know my parents had asked every single person in the valley reclient they had where should we go in hawaii we went to three islands so we lost all these days because each day my dad was like you know we have to get the airport even though it's like a jumper plane

we did the air for like three hours before we have to pack the bags you know it did da da da da and then it was like we have to go to pearl harbor which you know it was good but then he like kept missing the off ramp and my mom was like bah but he's like fuck it and then the next day we had to back to Pearl Harbor. So we lost like a whole day. Then we went to go to the Polynesian Culture Center. Then we had to go like to the other place. And I remember on actual Christmas, we were in Maui, you know, and the little pool had like a

water slide or something. And it was a beautiful weather that day because it kind of rained a lot too, which bummed me out. And my sister and I would just watch the video, the hotel video over and over again because there was like no other TV. And my dad thought it was so funny because I memorized it with this lady. It was like, this is what they called Moos. and like they were like a movie and then it was like sailing take me oh and we would do the whole thing and he'd be like do the commercial again and it would just be like performing for them anyway so one day it was sunny and that day we didn't have to go anywhere and we could just enjoy the pool and you went at all and get the peanut clonis and i said one day when i am old enough and rich enough to go on a vacation i'm going to stay on the last night lounge chair.

That's it. At the hotel. I'm going to enjoy the pool. I'm going to enjoy the beach. Right. I'm with you on that. That's what I want. I don't want to do anything.

I don't need the museum. I don't want. But then when I do do something like that, like I said, I went to Pompeii and I loved it. Like, I do think there's some stuff that I want to do. Yeah. Like, but I, when I went to Rome, I didn't even go to the Vatican. Yeah. I mean, you know, you're doing other things.

We'll get back. Will I? I don't know. I was trying to make you feel better. Where are you going? We go. We have a house in Montaugh. So you're doing that like you always do?

Yeah. A same house or a different house? Different house, actually, which I'm kind of excited about. We did all we can do at the other one. So I'm excited about a different house. Yeah, it's going to, but it's, you know, a lot of just, I'm just a dad who follows my kid around. Yeah. So, yeah.

It's not like I'm going out to clubs or anything. Those days are over. Right. Yeah, not that there's any of that anyway, but it is like a scene now more than ever. Yeah. Yeah, which is both bad and good. Is it bad and good?

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's only on Friday and Saturday. Like during the week, it's perfectly. And they all had a full day party, okay? Then they, it's like everyone leaves, all the extras leave or whatever they are. And then they're like, are we going out? And then they go out like 11 at night.

Yeah. And party till two. And I'm like, oh, that happens at the beach. I would have thought it will, even though it's young people, that it kind of, I didn't know that it was still, it made me happy to think that there's still a real nightlife. There is out there. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, they just announced that I think Fourth of July on July 4th, Snoop Dogg's performing in Montauk at Surf Lodge, Surflage. Yeah, can you get into there? I have no desire. I mean, I could probably pull a string or two. Steve Dogg is from our generation. I know, but also I feel like he's going to really half-hast it through three songs

and get back on his head back to New York City. Okay. I don't know. I mean, I say yes, but that probably starts at like 11.30, and I'm like, I'm out on that. 11.30 at night. Yeah. Right. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how I can get back into going out late at night anymore. I went a couple of years ago to go see Finela Ice was performing in Montauk. Yeah. Okay. And everybody. Place was packed.

this bar in Montau. Vanilla Ice was going to go on. And you remember that he had a song from Ninja Turtles. Ice Baby. He had a song from Ninja Turtles. It was one of his other big hits. Yeah. So they had a bunch of little people dressed like turtles in the bar. They were going to do a whole show when Ice, when Van der Leis showed up. Oh, really? So they had little people dressed like turtles. Good. About 10 of them. Yeah. Anyway, Vanel Ice never made it. He never showed up. It's a long way from New York City and he just, he said, I'm not coming. So they got on the microphone said vanilla

This won't be coming And are the little people still have like the turtles on their back Yeah They had the whole outfit on they were dressed like turtles Did they have green on their faces? Yeah they were turtles Okay They were just like turtles

So they decided well we're not The gig's over We're not doing the gig so let's just have some drinks And they all had a lot of drinks And they get drunk because they're like It's like a kid Yeah They have a smaller body

I mean they're adults So they broiled up a resistance Yeah But I remember when I told you that we went, do you know what I'm going to tell you the story? I'm going to tell you. I think so. I think so.

We used to work with a little person, so we had a lot of run in. Well, he was sober. Yeah, but I'm saying we had to do a lot of different things. He did. Yeah, we'd hire little people. Well, the first time I got invited to Lisa Vanterpump's dog gala.

Yeah. Vanderpump Doggala. Peter and I went and we were seated at a table. Mm-hmm. And there were a lot of people I knew there. So I was bouncing around talking to Lance Bass and seeing other people, Mario Lopez that I knew and stuff. And at our table were these two little women.

They were from the show Little Women on TLC. They were a mother-daughter. Got it. And Peter's like, I come back. He's like, oh, my God. Like, what are you doing just leaving me here? And normally he never cares if I leave him. He'll talk to somebody, whatever.

But the little people he was with, one of them got so drug that she puked in her purse at the table. Oh, oh no. Really? And then proceeded, like she did a puk and rally. Yeah. She proceeded to have another drink because it was free. And like have her second course and just keep going.

And he's like, I'm going to throw up. He's like, I cannot. Like we have got to like go. Well, I. I mean, that's what I saw. I saw, but they were in turtle costumes, and they were, like, hammered, barely standing up. So, I mean, it was literally, like, on their backs at the end of the night.

In turtle costumes. You could, like, spin them? Yeah, like, I saw that. And saw that. People always get, they, people, I remember I went to a holiday party about three years ago, and they had little people because, you know, elves or whatever. Els, yeah. And, like, oh, my God.

You know, people are like, You better not take a photo with them. You better not post a photo with them. You'll look like, you know, whatever. Yeah. Like plantation owner or something. I'm like, well, what is it? You know, they're making money at this party.

And this is a time that these little people, if they're actors, now some little people are doctors and lawyers and everything else. But if you're an actor little person and you do holiday parties on the side, they want to be hired. Like it's kind of like, why are we taking this opportunity? opportunity away. And this is not appropriation. I'm not acting.

I'm not getting on my knees. Yeah. And acting a little person and taking a roll away. They're the little people. Strangely enough, go back to Chui, who was on Chelsea Lathaway with,

the only reason Chooey got the job, basically, in a weird way, was because there was, I used to work on the other show before Chelsea Leland, the Chelsea Handler show. And we were going to hire

an assistant to be, like, her assistant. Like for a sketch. So we needed a little person. Yeah, that was our joke. And we got a guy named Little Prince Selwyn. That was, he got the part. Yeah.

He was going to be the guy. And last minute, he said, I got a job as an elf in a Radio Shack commercial. So I'm out. And we wound up getting Chewy instead. And now he went on to become chewy. So. And you know, sometimes an opportunity like that comes and it leads, you know, you never know. Yeah.

I think that would be pretty awesome. for that guy. Yeah. I mean, what was his life like for the next seven years? Every time he'd see an E-thing or a billboard and he's like, I can't believe I chose the wrong thing. The Radio Shack commercial. Now, maybe he wouldn't have lasted the seven years.

Maybe they wouldn't have hit it all. Things and he wasn't. He wouldn't have hit it all. He was. Yeah. But still, he was the first. Yeah. Chewy had a pretty good.

He was good at what he did. Of like, you know, choosing. There's been a few things like that in this business where it's like, oh my God. Like there was a job right when I was going out right before Chelsea lately, a job on like BET, like a BET comedy show. And I was up for that. And I was really bummed. I didn't get it. And I always thought, what if I'd gotten that, then had to turn down Chelsea Lately and then never like got back.

That's the way I look at my lost passport. You know, it happened for a reason. Who knows what would have, maybe it would have drowned in Cabo. Who knows? Was there anything? So then when you're trying to make lemonade out of it? Well, yeah. You're trying to make lemonade.

Are you like, well, I'm glad we don't have to get on a plane. Well, I'm glad we don't have to go through customers. Was part of you hoping to open the weather for Cabo and see that there was a hurricane? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That's like what would have made. I mean, anyone's Sarah John to die. Yeah, you don't want them to have a bad time.

Yeah, everybody else could have died. That's fine. Not died, but like, you know what? It doesn't think. If there wasn't another couple that you're close to that you were going to join to have fun with. If it was just the two of you going to the hotel and you lost the pathway, then you're definitely hoping for fighting out cartel invaded the hotel. Yeah. There was a shark attack. Unfortunately, none of that happened. It was a perfect

weekend and everybody that had a great time. But I was down on Laguna Beach, which I got to see a little of that. I'd have been there before. So I got to see like the weird, uh, like, all the art galleries and fuck all that. No, I went to like some place called the doc because I heard it was like a, you know, the scene. Oh yeah? So I got to see like a, like, like Laguna Beach scene, which is a bunch of people trying to fuck each other. Oh, it is. A bunch of 50-year-old people trying to fuck each other. The people watch, which was fun to watch.

The people watch in Newport Laguna at a sceney place. That's what this was. Such a good time. Oh, it was amazing. My wife and I was sitting there loving. Because there's a lot of older dudes. Yeah. And women.

That are douche that are looking for the third wife. They say it. We were listening. We were over here. some of it. Yeah. And that's exactly what they're saying. You know, this wife hates me, that one, hey, my kids hate that wife, but now I'm here on a Saturday and one day. And then the girls are like looking for a daddy. They were, they were all of the same age. There was no like young. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Seemed like that scene. Yeah. You know, it was fun. I love it.

I love it down there. Yeah. But it gets gloomy. It's like gloomy to like July. a little bit or breaks out later in the day. Right. Yeah. So I like it like hot and fun. Well, Chris, I'm so glad your marriage made it. Me too. I know you're going to find it.

And I need you to tell me where you find it. I will. It is going to be in some pocket or some extra piece of luggage or some something that you didn't think. Yeah. I can't tell you how thorough. I don't think it's gone. Okay.

I just don't think it's gone. All right. Well, I'll let you know. Because I think if you would have left it in a hotel, if you would have left it in a rent-a-car, they would have called you. Yeah, but pastoral weird. People want them for different reasons.

So I, you know, I don't, maybe there was that. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. When is the new one coming? I'm in the process, you know. We're going to get it pretty quickly, I think. I don't have any international travel coming off, so I'm good, you know.

We don't, don't wait. I just have Nashville Zanis coming up this weekend. Oh, yeah. Tell us. Tell us. Nashville Zanies this Friday and Saturday night. I'm in Nashville, Tennessee. Nashville Zanis in the lab, the little room on the side, the lab. So come on down to that.

Very, very fun. Are you going to do anything fun in the day when you're there? I love Nashville so much. I can't wait. So I'm excited about that Nashville Zanis. Stay in a little condo that they have, like behind it. It's always a good time. Funny bone, Columbus, Ohio.

Columbus, Ohio, my only time in Ohio this year, Columbus, Thursday, June 4th. That's where I'm going. Then I'm going to see No Doubt in Las Vegas. Oh, great. You did it, right? Yeah. Then I'm in Cap City, Austin, Texas, Austin, Texas,

the 11th of June, Fort Worth, Texas, the 12th and 13th of June, hyenas. And then I'm going to do a little, you're going to drive. I think I'm going to drive. Remember we screwed up last year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm in Mohican Sun,

comics, Mohican Sun, in Uncansville, what is that? Connecticut. Connecticut, 25th, 26, 27th of June. French, Joel. dot find has everything the podcast will all cover to cover and come out and see me live absolutely everyone that sees chris they just they're always in the juicy scoop oh my god yes one more thing oh my god yes one more thing i brought a summer hat to show you oh please do because every year i bring something to show off my

summer look right now your hair is a great length is it perfect it's pretty cute yeah and let's see it now you're entering a new decade of life i'm entering a new decade i know shockingly 60 years old You look amazing. I mean, you know, whatever. Okay. Why are we doing this? You're going to see. It's a whole thing.

Are you ready? Okay. He's got a bandana, everybody. I know, but here's what. Okay. Here, I'm showing you a look for the summer. This is for everybody. Okay.

Everyone can steal a look. This works for everyone. You can steal a look. Okay. This is going to be the look that everyone's going for this year. Okay. Okay. They're everywhere.

I, yeah. Okay. Now, not just me. They're everywhere. Okay. Okay. This is first. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Ready? There's more. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Now I'm going to give you two. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Okay. Now go ahead. First of you. Now, the shape of these glasses. Okay. I'm married to these.

Okay. Everybody has those. A lot of women have them. They wear them all day long. Okay. I have not gotten on that wagon. I would like to see how they look on me. Okay. Absolutely. Because I feel like it's... I think they look. look great. Really?

Yeah. All right. I mean, they are like the more in style. I still stick with my look. You know, I don't change my hair. I don't change my glasses. Right. Okay.

Okay. Now, this is just another eyeglass look because these were rejected. Those are always good. Let me see the hip ones on again. My wife rejected these in Laguna Beach. She said, no, that's too much. You too much. Can I see the glasses without the hat?

Yeah, well, of course. That's a whole different thing. But I got to wear a hat now. Okay, I will say, you know, you don't want to get skin cancer. I will say with the hat, I don't like the hipster glasses. Without the hat,

I think the hipster glasses are a cool, different look. Yeah. Uh-huh. Those are better. Yeah. Okay. I'm,

I still feel like the hat like curls up too much. That's part of the look. It's part of the look. Because if it goes down, how much was the heart, then you're a different guy. Then you're, then you're a woman.

Yeah, then you're exactly. Now I'm, now I'm Martha Stewart. The thing is you want to look as much like Cracker Jack as possible. Okay, okay. So you want to have this. This is, I'm kind of kidding with this, but I'm not. I don't think that looks bad, that little handkerchief thing.

First, when you came out, I thought you were doing like colors. It was like a gang member. No, no, no. You do it like this. Okay. You know, whew, what a day, huh? Yeah. Having fun?

Oh, oh, because it's so hot. This would be me if I was on Summer House. Yeah. Oh, hey, we're all going to go out after this 11-15. Sometimes these looks, I'm just like, like the giant jeans. The giant jeans on a girl only looks good. Yeah. If you have the flattest, skinniest, tiniest waist.

Oh, yeah. And you have to show that up. Right. Otherwise, you'll just look like a giant person. Yeah. There's just these looks that I'm like, I'm just going to wait for that to like go out of style or come back or whatever. Yeah. All right.

I like it. Thank you. All right. That's it. I think we're okay with this. Does she, does the wife like the hat? She likes the hat.

Yeah. She likes the hat. You know, it's not her favorite, but I have to wear hats, you know. Yeah. Yeah, everyone has to wear hats now. That's what they tell you. Everything that was fun 20 years ago is now killing you. You mean the sun.

The sun, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everything, drinking the sun, everything, everything that was fun. Fucking, everything is going to kill you. Giving porn stars, blow jobs. Yeah. ringworm with your throat.

Then you have to talk about it on a podcast. Yeah, like that's what I was saying about Chloe Kardashian. Right. So she has a podcast. Of course. And, you know, she does very well on it and thought she was being vulnerable and telling a parenting moment.

But she said that her three-year-old son, who's very cute, they got invited to her best friend's son's kindergarten party. Yeah. It sounded like it might have been at the patio in Casalida. Okay. Okay, where my juicy scoop cocktail is still there. Anyway, so he said, I don't want to go to this party today. He's three.

And she's like, you've got to go. It's whatever the little boy's name is. And he goes, well, if I go, like, I'm not going to be good. And she was like, whatever. So she takes him there. And from the moment he gets there, it's like, she said, it's like the Tasmanian devil. He's running around. He's trying to ruin the balloon display.

And, you know, almost ran to the cake. She blocked him. she had like you know three other kids with her you know um and so she luckily called the nanny who happened to be around and she was like do you have the car seat just come get him like he's got to leave and so she's laughing about it and she's like well he told me he wasn't going to be going he wasn't well of course the internet goes crazy you know criticizing her criticizing him how rude he was how could he try to ruin the kindergarten party blah blah blah blah blah then Malika's like, hey, like she did the right thing.

She removed him. He was a three-year-old. He's a toddler. But what I took from the whole thing is even though they put their kids on TV and all this other stuff, I think people don't realize with podcasting. If you have a minor child, you better watch the stories you tell about them without their consent. Yeah. Because now all these people think he's like a total fucking spoiled brat

Who would ruin a kid's party and If she I don't think she'll ever tell another unflattering story about him So I'm glad the lesson got learned but I'm like Yeah just with someone maybe be like we don't need Chloe's kids at our fancy school Yeah like like you know what I mean that was kind of thing right but I just think people run out of stories and then they're like they don't think about that But I remember when Drake was little and I went to this parenting class and they said If they're ever being a brat, you like give them a warning and then you have to leave even if you're having a good time Yeah, okay you have to leave you know and sometimes you're having good time. Well we went to a party and he was a real dick about Thomas the train

He just wow Drake you do it like doing this train thing and I go stop it we're gonna leave we're gonna leave and then we left and I'm telling I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I could bring this up for like three years. I could be like, remember what happened at Mikey's party or whatever? And he'd be like, okay. And he'd remember. That's my lesson. But see, look, I told it. But I told it when he's old enough.

And if he wants, you can cut it out. You don't want people to know that you were dick about Thomas a train. My daughter is an angel. Well, Chris, you look adorable for the summer. And we will see you again back here soon. Everyone go to friendjola. Funjola. Fun. For all those dates and you get tickets and all of that.

Meet and greets. And of course, I'm at Heather MacDonald.net. Join my Patreon. Thank you. And make sure you subscribe to the YouTube and also for the juicy crimes, which is on YouTube as well. Thank you.