Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Comedian Danae Hays on being Funny, Southern and Gay

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

The hilarious Danae Hays is here! Danae is currently on huge stand up comedy tour and we got into her juicy, funny life. She shares how she came out at 8 yrs old and the conversion therapy she experienced. Danae explains how one prank video set off her career on social media and how one lie then set off her career in stand up comedy! Danae and I discuss all the different ways to pursue comedy today and why that might piss some people off. So funny, inspiring and juicy, enjoy this interview! -Go to ⁠RO.CO/JUICYSCOOP ⁠to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro. -Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to ⁠honeylove.com/JUICY ⁠#honeylovepod #sponsored  -Shop now at ⁠poshmark.com/juicyscoop⁠ and get $10 off your first purchase or download the Poshmark app and use code juicyscoop  Subscribe to my new show Juicy Crimes!: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/juicycrimes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stand Up Tickets and info: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://heathermcdonald.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald and get extra juice on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/JuicyScoopPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch the Juicy Scoop On YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://juicyscoopshop.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HeatherMcDonaldOfficial⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoot. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood Tales for real life, Mr. Sagan, Serial Data, and Serial Sister, you'll be addicted and addicted. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I'm so excited to introduce you to a new Juicy Scoop, where you may be familiar with her hilarious stand-up comedy.

Yes, she's a fun. funny lady. Hi funny lady. Thank you for having me. Isn't that the dorcas thing to say to someone? Funny lady. Dene Hayes, she is got her buckwale tour. She is a tall, gorgeous, happy lesbian from the south. Happy lesbian. I need to make tour marks that says that. I'm a happy lesbian. And, oh my gosh, but we were just talking about my juices keepers know. I love fashion. I always think I, like, look good when I choose my outfit on stage, but I've been doing this for so long.

And I have changed my style many times on stage. I just started wearing, like, dresses. Yeah. I never did. I feel like, I feel like that would be hard doing stand-up comedy and a dress. When I started, I never wore dresses because I thought, oh, that's distracting and legs. And, like, I don't think people. And then when I saw, like, younger people and other comedians, like, dressing,

up. And I'm like, my God, you're right. I'm like, I like, I like that look. And then some of it I liked, some of I didn't. Anyway, I, your body is banging and like you have a real nice snatched flat waist action, which I think is the best thing you could have if you are a female comic. Forget about being funny. All you need is a divorce. Just go through a divorce. I think I dropped 25 pounds after I got a divorce. And people are all, like, my DMs. Divorce from your other, from your other wife. Yeah. But you only have one way. I was about to say, but you do have a girlfriend that I just met. Like I'm a Mormon swinger. No, yeah, I was

married to one lady. It sounds like I was married to an 80 year old, but I was married to a lady. And after the divorce, I think I did. I think I dropped like 25 pounds. Most divorce died is the way to go. Everybody says it. People were like, oh, she's on Ozimic. And I'm like, no, it was literally just stress, nicotine and lack of sleep. Well, I don't know. It looks pretty good on you. I'm going to keep doing it.

Yeah. Keep doing it. You're not afraid you're going to just be, like, become a fat happy lesbian? Look, I want to be able to stand sideways, stick my tongue out and look like a zipper. Like, that's my goal in life. I've always been the girl that struggled with her weight. I think I was... Really?

I was 16 or 17, and I had just, like, I just had a muffin top, dude. Like, my muffin top was just, it was there. Yeah. And I would not take, like, my warm-up shirt off my softball jersey to play softball. I was the only one with it still on. And my parents were like... You were a softball player, too? Were you out at 16?

No, no. Hell no. Is everyone that on the softball teams, are they gay? I would say, like, I played softball at the University of Alabama, and I would say probably 40%. That's nice. Yeah. So we, you know, but you weren't out of the date, the other players. Okay.

I did. but you weren't supposed to. But at 16, did you know or you weren't out? No, I knew. I knew when I was eight years old. How did you know when was that moment? I didn't know what the word gay meant. I mean, you know, I'd seen Ellen DeGeneres on TV,

and I was like, we're kind of the same, but not really. So did you identify more with her as being a gay woman, or that I want to do what she does because I know I'm funny and I could see myself doing that? She dressed different than most women, especially in the South, like everybody in the South, a lot of the women wear like Lily Pulitzer and like they always look like they're going to church,

even if it's on a Tuesday. And Ellen had a cool little style there for a minute. Not really my style, but I was like, oh, it's cool. She could color outside the lines. And I just gravitated towards that. I was a tomboy. I always wanted to beat the guys out on the playground. And then I just started to develop a crush on only the girls.

when I noticed all the girls were like, I like the guys, and the guys were like, I like the girls. And I was like, well, what does that make me? I didn't know what gay was. So I told that to my parents. And they were like, oh, hell no. They were not about it. We're from a really small town in Alabama.

Were you religious? Yeah, the whole family were Southern Baptists. But I think it was less at that time about religion and more of just like, oh, God, we had imagined Deney to, have a boyfriend, then that would be a husband, and she'd have kids. And I think they also were like, this is going to make her life really hard if this is, you know, who she is. And then she has to be this in our 1,200-person town in Alabama.

I don't blame them. It would have been really freaking hard. But then at saying, hey, did they just go, okay, well, you know, and like brush it off, but they worried by in silence? Or was it a constant conversation throughout your childhood? They took me to conversion therapy. They didn't know at the time that that's what it was. They didn't like say, we're taking you to conversion therapy because we've had these

conversations later in life now. And they were like, we found a guy that said he could help with this. We didn't know that that's what conversion therapy was. It was a religious therapist. And then he would just sit there in his recliner. He was like, what fucking therapist sits in a room? Just you and him? Yeah, just me and him.

And he would sit there with his feet up and he would always be eating a turkey sandwich on white bread and it would just get stuck to the roof of his mouth and he'd be trying to get it off the whole time and he whistled and I'm not I'm not bullshit when I said this he whistled when he talked and he would just look at me and he'd be like Deney it's not a sin it's not a sin to think about robbing the bank but it is a sin to go out and rob it and so that was kind of our M.O oh okay so I could I could think about hot girls but I couldn't touch hot girls And how long did you go to him? Like how many sessions?

God, I want to say maybe a year. But would you talk about other things like a normal therapist? Like how was your week? How was school? It was just constantly about... Yeah, it would always start that way. Danay, what are you struggling with this week? And that was the same age that I got diagnosed with OCD really bad.

And so we... And how did you... How did that come about? I started feeling these feelings about how I knew I was different, but I couldn't control them. And I couldn't get them out of my head. And I was like, I just want to change. I just wish I like the boys.

And then because I was so out of control with that area of my life, I started to develop OCD. So it was just constant counting with my feet, how many steps I was taking, how many times I touched a doorknob. I had to tell my parents I loved them 20 to 25 times before I could go to bags. I thought they were going to die in their sleep. And I needed them to know I loved them. I've never really understood that, how all of a sudden it can happen.

And then in your head, you come up with the number of the number of the kids. those things? Yeah, it's more of like, okay, I need there to be 17 steps, for me at least. I need there to be 17 steps by the time I get to that stop sign. And if I could only make it in 19, I would start having to take bigger steps and jumping so that I could get back to 17. And then how do you correct that? That was a lot of just, my parents were very patient with that because that was the worst part of it all. My parents were just, always using logic with me. Like, Dene, we're not going to die

if you take 19 steps over 17. And I would spiral. And they would be like, we're going to force you to walk from here to there and you cannot count. In fact, I want you to recite something in your head out loud so that you can't physically count.

Starting to do that, we're just like living in the misery of not being able to fulfill that tick eventually made it easier for me. But... Do you have it? anymore? Yeah, my OCD is now more of like obsessive loop, so it's less of like counting and physical actions, and it's more of like, when I'm in a really healthy space, it's my superpower because I get

obsessed about what it is that I want to do, and my brain will not stop thinking about it from the time my eyes open until my eyes closed. Like, I could go, you know, if I'm awake for 14 hours, there's not a single 30-minute period where my brain hasn't hit that loop again. It's just, rumination after rumination. So in a good way, it would be like focus in manifestation? Absolutely. So like back in 2022, I was watching Chelsea Handler at the Raman, and I'd never done stand-up before.

Like I was just solely making funny videos online. And I filmed myself at the Raman watching her as a spectator. And I said, one of these days I'm going to be on that stage. Well, I would go back and I would watch that video constantly. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, I don't have a path forward, but I know I'm going to do it. I know I'm going to do it. So for the past four years, I've been obsessed about the ramen, never doing stand-up, and then I just had my ramen debut last week.

So it's like, it works in my favor. Yeah, I definitely believe in my day we called it secreting because there was a book called The Secret. I love the Secret. Now, everyone calls it manifestation. Yeah. But truly, it's also prayer. It's whatever works for you. It's actually believing in what you want.

And it's interesting because in my day, my friends and I would go, don't say he's going to be your husband. That's jinxing it. And manifestation is like the opposite of jinxing. You should say it. You should vision it. You should be positive in your thoughts and confident in your success or whatever. And yeah, when I was young, we had cable and it was A&E evening at the improv. And my parents, we would watch it.

We watched them, you know, all these comedians go on. They do these shows. And my parents would be like, oh, one day, Heather will be on the improv stage. And then I do remember the first time I did the LA improv. And I was like, oh, you know, so I love that. And there's many other moments that I've done that. So it's cool to hear that you did it too. And it worked out.

And congrats. Thank you. So let's talk about a little bit about your doing these videos and how you kind of realized you were funny. Yeah. My dad, he bought me a cam quarter back when I was like 12, 12, I think. This was before social media. Like, there was no, as my dad would say, Facebooks, you know, none of that. But I just was always sitting my dad and my mom down on the couch,

and I was making them watch my Saturday Night Live performance. So I would, you know, I'd come up with like four storylines or four sketches, and then I would play all the characters. And my dad was like, you know, probably because he was getting sick and damn tired of having to watch me. He's like, I'm going to buy you a camcorder. That way you can film it and watch it yourself. So he did, and I learned how to edit. I just started creating as many sketches as I could come up with,

and I would edit it to where it looked like this character was talking to this character. And would you put it on YouTube or anything? No, because YouTube, this was like 2006 maybe, and I think I didn't even hear about YouTube to like 2008. Okay. So all of this was really just for me to have a creative outlet. And so I've always been that girl. But when you grow up in a really small town in Alabama, the arts aren't really celebrated.

Like you're kind of a loser if you want to do theater. And I was like, I'm going to be a loser. But I also was a stellar athlete who went on to play college softball and we won a national championship. Oh, where'd you go to college? Alabama. Oh, that's awesome. So I was stellar in the athletic department and I was getting so much praise doing that

because that's what we love in the South. And I just didn't have the balls. to do entertainment. So when the pandemic happened and we were all sitting at home and I was watching... And did you have a regular job at that time? Yeah.

I was doing a pyramid scheme, Heather. I was slinging fitness programs on the internet. Oh, really? Tell me about that. Let me say this, all right? It's called an MLM, right? MLM, multi-level marketing.

Now, I will say this. Out of all the network marketing, you know, businesses out there. Yours was the best. Mine was pretty good because we were helping people feel good, you know. However, you know, I'm very embarrassed the fact that I did that. Was it a product too?

How would you get people underneath you to then get people underneath them? Like, how would that work? So I had never heard of network marketing other than maybe, I think it was called Advocare. A lot of people in my hometown were doing that. but my ex-wife, she was really good in the beach body world. Okay. Like really, really good.

And I wanted to move to California and get out of Alabama for a little bit, but I didn't have a job because I was selling real estate at the time. And she was like, well, why don't you join my team and become a coach? And the way it was presented to me, which is how you learned to present to somebody else, seem pretty easy. And you don't really understand the ins and outs of it. but once I joined, my job was to help people buy fitness programs that they could do at home and not have to go to a gym to do.

So that's why I'm like, okay, I wasn't out here pimping like leggings out or Tupperware. Yeah. There was some value of like helping people feel good about themselves. And I still get messages from a lot of the people that I signed up that say, you know, I know you probably didn't enjoy doing multi-level marketing, but you helped me lose 50 pounds. and I'm really grateful for you for that. So that is like, it's a conundrum, you know? Yeah, good.

Yeah. Okay, so you're doing that, which is also great to be in it when the pandemic hit, right? Hell yeah. Everybody was working out at home. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's when you started to do some funny, like, comedic videos.

Yeah, I started doing a little bit of that. Nobody really seemed to care. And then I posted on a whim. One night I posted on a whim a prank phone call to a tax. Cedermis in Alabama. I saw that one. Asked if he'd stuff my dog. And had he not agreed to it and acted like that was too big of an ask, I don't think the video would have done as well. But he was like, yeah, where's a dog at? And I was like, he's in my deep freezer. And he was, you've done everything right. Bring him up.

So that video got like 26 million views. It is really funny. And like how you're like, and also with your accent and everything. And how you're like, you know, the dog really like to always put his paws on the top of the chair. So could you put him, could you position his body in that way? Like he's panting. Yeah. And he was like, oh yeah. Like we can put, we can put him in any position. And so what happened with that guy? So funny enough, I called him back and I said, hey, that was a prank phone call. I'm not bringing my dad Rottweiler to get stuff. And he was like, oh man. I was kind of excited about it. He was like, business is really slow right now. And I was like,

you asshole, Dene. I said, what's your number? or your business name and everything. I'm going to put it in the comment section of the video, you know, if it does well. So the video took off and I think he got like between $7,000 and $10,000 worth of business from that prank phone call. So I felt a little better about harassing him after that. Do people in the South actually do their pets?

I've heard of a couple of people stuff in their chihuahua. When someone has, really, when someone has like, The deer head. Yeah. Like in their living room. That's just about every living room in Alabama. Or a man cave. So you kill a deer.

Yeah. And then you... It's got to be a buck. Okay. The man, you mean? Yeah, the boy. And then you... Who, like, takes the head to the guy?

Well, you take the whole body. Okay. So you don't want to just chop its head off in the woods. Okay. You want to... The goal is to take it to a processing plant and let them strip the body of all the meat. and the tenderloins, all that, the backstrap.

And then you just do the head. And then they sometimes will transport it over to the taxidermis, and then they'll mount it for you. Now, do people ever resell that like a piece of furniture? Absolutely. They do it all the time. Yeah. Yeah, because they're like, I never shot a 12 point, but I'd like to have said I had.

So I'm going to buy this off Facebook Marketplace and put it in the living room and pretend I shot it. Wow. It's men. Yeah, yeah. You'd never see a woman haggling a guy on Facebook Marketplace for a, you know, a 14-year-old dead deer. Yeah.

But a man would. I grew up here, so we don't know about any of that. But now I live in an area that has a lot of deer, and I just love it. You should kill some. It's so cute. Never. They're just so cute. Like whole families of four and stuff like that.

They're just so cute. But, hey, I understand if that's someone's culture and everything. I'm not here to judge. Can I just say? I love how politically correct everybody in California is you're like, but I'm not judging. Like, I'm not. But honestly, I'm really not because I feel like that is a cultural thing.

And I, so I'm not going to say that like it's awful. I really do am like that. No, I think a lot of people are not like that actually. But yeah. Because down sat like that's because like I'm from Alabama. I live in Nashville now. And it's so funny because I was on a podcast yesterday. And there was probably six or seven moments in that podcast where the host was like,

I'm sorry if that was politically incorrect. And like, I didn't even know. what politically incorrect meant until about three years ago because like the shit people say back home just I mean just zinger is left and right and you have like my grandmother thinks it's okay to call people deaf and dumb like she doesn't say they're deaf she has to say they're deaf and dumb and I was like grandma we got to cut the last half out like they're just deaf and she's like well they can't hear nothing so what does that make them and I'm like you just say deaf period Like I'm caught and she won't call somebody like she'd never be like hey that guy's a fat ass

But she'd be like man He is so big boned And just zingers left and right no no political correctness back home Now what did the grandma think of you being a lesbian? I think it surprised her a little bit But she was mostly upset because she thought in her heart like Heather I'm not joking like she thought in her heart that I was going to marry her marry Tim Tebow. So it was less about me being gay and more of like, oh, so we're not going to be

able to have Tim Tebow in the house. She really thought there could be, that could happen. He's married now with a child and she still brings him up. And I'm just like, that was never in the plan. And you just love him because he's cute football player and a Christian. And totally, yes. Yes. My mom, one of the things that got my stand-up going was I relayed a answer machine message because we had an answer machine message. It was like one of my mom calling me and saying, and she had this like funny voice because she had like one vocal cords.

She's like, I lost one of my vocal cords after screaming out one of my five children. And she's like, Heather, this is your mother. I've got two words for you. Conan O'Brien. He's 6'5 Irish, Catholic, went to Harvard, and he's going to be the new host of his own show. And he's single. And I just think that the two of you would be so funny together.

And, you know, and then she would leave her phone number, you know, and like, I think I know the phone number. She'd always do the phone number. And so anyway, like, she really thought that, you know, Conan O'Brien being tall because I'm tall. And Irish Catholic, I'm Irish Catholic. That was just like... Yeah, and it's as if you can just call him up today and be like, hey, want to go on a date?

You know, like, that's what my grandmother thought about Tim was, oh, just give him a call. Yeah. That's why my mom was like, why don't you try to find him? And actually, he had a younger sister who was, like, in different levels of the groundlings. And she did see the, like, I did a little bit at the groundlings or something about it. and she was like, that's my brother. And then I was like so embarrassed because I would have gone out with him. He actually was dating Lisa Kudrow.

Oh my gosh. And I was like, you know, but there was no interest or anything. And then only once did I see him in person. It's a pretty good story. Did you mention it? No, but this did happen. Okay, so tell me. I'm all, you know, I was on Chelsea lately writing and producing a show.

And she did this like sketch where we were taking over the Conan O'Brien stages at Universal. So she had this idea of how like there was a locker room and she was going to go in naked and he was going to go in naked and was like this funny thing. And so he was coming to do the sketch and I was walking by and he was walking by with and he did like do a vr-r-r-ing at me. Really? Yes. This recent like he's married, I'm married. It didn't mean anything. Is your brother still with us? At that time she, yes. And I think I'd, so you got to tell her? I may have told her. I may have forgotten to tell her. You're not even put it together.

Yeah. So, but both of us, I think, have been married for a very long time. Like, you know, he's just a little older than I am. But anyway. That is hilarious. I still would like to go on your show. Now I think it's just a podcast. But anyway, no, I never was on a show.

I never met him other than that time. But I was like, and I was with a couple witnesses. Yeah. So it absolutely happened. I fully believe it. Yeah, it really did. Getting back to you again. I can't wait for the comments.

Heather, let your guest speak. We've already heard your lame stories. Shut up. They say shit like that? Only the mean ones. I just got a mean one in the car today that said something about, I have a pepperoni pizza face because I filmed a video with no makeup and I had zits on my face because I started my period, okay, from a guy. I'm just like, uh-huh.

I try to post and ghost and not read all that shit, but it'll like, you know, you log into TikTok and it'll be like. It is hard. It's like right there. It is hard. And it's, the one thing that really helped me was, and I've mentioned this, there's this girl, I can't remember her name right now, but she does. Her whole account, brilliant, is she'll find a post under like a beautiful person, you know,

Kate Hudson something. And then she will read the mean comments that they're saying about Kate Hudson. Right. And they're like, she looks old. And then she shows the lady's face. who said it and the woman's like yeah literally total like

frumpedumps not put together or awful guys or whatever and ever since she's done that and I've found it and I follow her now it really really helps because when you hear something because there was like a time like sometimes I'd be like thinking I looked so cute I have a little outfit

and I think it's chic and everyone's like you know whatever tons of likes everyone's liking it and then I would just see like oh she thinks that it and it would sort of bother me. And now every time I read that, I just see this. You'll have to. That's what I see. I just see that. And I go, why, who cares? Please send me her profile because I'd love this. I get probably so wonderful. My fix with that. Yeah. With some of my friends in Nashville that, you know, like, like Lainey Wilson's a good friend of mine. I'll, I'll, you know, read her comments because I

want to support her. And then like, you know, a comment is bad. And I'm like, how do you say that on this picture of Lainey Wilson. Gorge. You know what I mean? So that brings like some lightness of like, oh, there's just really miserable people out there. Yeah. Period. The most, yeah, it's so funny. Okay, so then you start doing, so that video kind of goes

crazy. And then that encourages you to start doing more of what you've always wanted to do. Yeah, so that, once the prank phone calls, I like bled those dry. That was kind of what I was known for at the beginning. And then I kind of got tired of them because I was like, you can only do something so much.

before you lose creative freedom on it. And so then I started doing sketches. So I brought a lot of the sketches back from like my childhood or that energy. And then... And would you do all those just by yourself playing different parts? Yep. Okay. Yeah.

So that, because it was the pandemic. So I was, you know, kind of isolated at home and bored out of my mind. And then I moved to Nashville and I started releasing country comedy music. So like one of my songs is called Dick in My Nightstand. But it sounds like a legit... Can you sing? You know a little of that? Yeah, she's like, I got a dick in my nightstand.

I can use with my left hand. So good. Keep going. When I'm alone, it always treats me right. Never too tired on a Friday night. Oh, that's so good. So I started doing, you know, like parody songs, if you will, but they sound legit. Yeah.

And the production of them sounds amazing. Thank you. And the production behind it sounds amazing. Like it's going to be... No, I'm learning. And that shit's hard. Oh my God, it's so hard. Especially after...

I don't play any instruments or speak any languages. I don't know how people do either one of those. I'm learning. So I started doing the music stuff just to find another way to be creative. And that was when my agent, my now agent called. And he was like, hey, I'd like to take a meeting with you. And I was just like, oh my God, it's so hard to even get an agent's attention when you aren't out doing what you want to be doing to get the agent's attention.

Now, were you making? any money online yet. Yeah. Being creative. Okay. At this point, I had given up selling the Tupperware. You mean the fitness stuff. Yeah.

Doing the fitness stuff. And I was solely 100% of content creator. And when he called me in his office, he was like, do you do stand up? And it was like me, him, and like 11 or 12 other guys at CAA. And I just thought in that moment, I was like, you can either tell the truth or you can fucking lie and I lied. Good for you. I said oh yeah, do it all the time and he goes really can we see some clips and I was like I've actually never recorded any of my stuff but I will next time and he was like well what do you say if we do like a tester run with you and book seven comedy clubs

and just see how the tickets go and then we can reassess after that and I was like yeah like how long is my set like 10 15 minutes and he was like no no you're the headliner so you get an hour And I was like, oh, okay, great. Yeah, that's great. When do you want to do this? And he was like, two, three months. I was like, okay, cool. I left there, Heather, and I drove home and I was like.

How many followers did you have at this time that they thought that you had a big enough name that you could headline and sell out? I want to say across Facebook, TikTok and Instagram, probably two and a half million at the time. Oh, that is great. And they were like, let's try it. So I drove home and it hit me. number one I've never done stand-up number two I've never done anything in front of a live crowd and number three

how the hell do you write an hour-long show so I went home and I YouTubeed how do you write a stand-up show and like nothing pulled up and I was just like do you know I just have to say do you know that Sarah Silverman had a movie like it was for stand-up movie and this is probably like

I don't know 50 20 years ago it was so funny and it was basically that she has a show that night, but she hasn't prepared any material. Yeah, I remember that. It was so funny. Yeah. That was me. This is crazy.

So you looked it up, yeah. I looked it up. Did you use AI to help you? ChatGPT wasn't even a thing back then. And so I was just like, what do I do? So I find this one guy on YouTube. And he's like sitting in like a basement. And I'm like, it's got like 50 views on it.

So I'm like, this guy must not know what he's doing, but I have no direction. Yeah. And I didn't really have any friends doing stand-up comedy, so I didn't have anybody to call. No, the rooms that the agent's book, they were close enough for you to get to, or you were going to have to, like, travel? So it was Birmingham, Huntsville, Alabama, Nashville, Charlotte, and Greenville. Okay. So a southern thing. And so, yeah, I could drive.

And so this guy's just like, you know, just like right from the heart and just try to find good segues from one joke. to the next. I was like, all, fuck this. This didn't help at all. So I just sat down and I thought, well, how can I do this? And I just started writing things down. Did it scare you at all to think that you were going to get in front of people or throughout your life you were comfortable being, giving

a speech in class or whatever? As weird as this sounds, it didn't freak me out at all. That's good. The only part that freaked me out was I didn't really have a playbook of how to write it. So I ended up coming up with some material

and my first show was 90 minutes because I wrote way too fucking much and drew it way out. So the first time you ever did stand up was your headlining a place. You didn't try to get up any place locally for five minutes. I didn't even think to do that. That's how fresh, green, and brand new. I didn't even think to do that. In fact, I want to say a week before the first show,

my agent was like, why don't you, just so that we, you know, it's all new material, why don't we put you in like a 20-person room in this, this back lot of this improv comedy place called Third Coast Comedy. And I was like, yeah, we could do that. And I'll just get my close friends and family. And he was like, yeah, we're just posted online and see if anybody wants that ticket, since you've already sold out the Nashville show.

And I was like, okay. So I did. And, you know, we got 20 people in there. And that was the 90-minute show. And then I had a week to kind of cut, you know, some fat off the bone. and then I went into the seven comedy clubs, which, yeah, once I got on stage, I was vibing, I was like, this is the most addicting feeling I've ever had in my life.

But I don't know if I, if what I know now, if I knew it back then, I don't think I would have agreed to it. Because it's just, sometimes you can know too much and it'll keep you from saying yes. But I didn't know anything, so I said yes. Now, have you gotten any hate or hurt? about hate from comedians that, obviously, I know comedians that have done doing this for 30 years, that have some definite bitterness towards a TikTok sensation that's taking stage time

from people that are classically trained, though there's no classical, we're not Bellarias. There is no playbook for stand-up, but there's definitely a way that, you know, previous generations did it, which is you start with five minutes, you start with ten. you become a feature, you become, you know, move your way into headlining, you've done, you know, you do the road for a few years, then you get your Tonight Show. But no formula works anymore. And I say that to people too. If people told me, I could not start stand-up in L.A. They're like, what do you mean? You can't start being a stand-up in L.A. I'm like, well, I'm born and raised here. So my trajectory was different than someone else's as well.

So that's why I'm like, I don't, I've never felt a bitterness towards that. I'm like, like you do you boo make it work I have noticed over the years though that certain um there was a time when YouTubers they did like a YouTube tour and stuff and that didn't seem to work because those YouTube people for for most part were very comfortable being alone in the room and editing and it was funny because of the editing right and without the possible you know a little bit of training of the stand up it maybe a couple people made it like Trisha Pettis. Yeah.

I told the story, but I did a thing where she was years ago and it was like this on some weird network that doesn't exist anymore. And they're like, we want to pair a real stand-up with a YouTuber and see if they can do stand-up. And I got Glozell and she had already done some stand-up

but that was like a secret. So if she already like, she was funny, she was easy, whatever. And Trisha Padis went up there and I didn't know who she was. I just thought, she was just like this sexy little adorable thing. And, you know, she went up there and she's very, she's pretty dirty.

And because nobody had much prep time. Like you only had like a few, maybe we met like three times or something. And so anyway, afterwards, she, we're in the green room and she's like, should I start doing stand up? And all of a sudden there's all this candy in front of her. And I go, where did you get all that candy? And she goes, oh, my fans brought me candy because that's what I do. on my YouTube. I just sit

and eat candy and talk into the camera. And I go, and you have a million, whatever, you're making money. I'm like, fuck the stand up. Eat the candy. Right. In your living room. Why would you ever want to stress about this? Well, now, you know, 15 years

later, she's doing so amazing and she does a stage show. But this thing that she's doing now, the singing and the stage show, is better suited for her. You know what I mean? And she's doing great. But it's like, It's that kind of a thing. So that was a long-winded thing.

But have you had to defend yourself against some traditional stand-ups that might be a little bitter towards you? No, not directly, but I know that that energy is out there. Yeah. And I just don't associate with it. Only because if, like, we're not doctors. Exactly. We don't have to go to school for this shit. You don't have to be a certified stand-up.

Either you're funny or you're not funny. Right. And so I'll- And there's all different kinds. There's storytelling. There's Joe. There's all different kinds of ways of being funny. There's people who do all impressions.

There's people who do all characters. You know, like, only talk to the audience, like I'm Matt Wright. Somebody else would say that's not real stand-up. There's a thousand ways to put the pot. And one of the greatest athletes I've ever played with in my life, she was a four-time All-American and an Olympian that I played with at Alabama. But we also were from the same hometown. So we went to high school together, middle school together, travel ball together.

She didn't start playing until she was 12. years old. That is so late. Everybody starts playing. If you want to go be an Olympian, you start when you're four. She started when she was 12, but she was naturally good at it. And I remember when we took her on the team, the other players' parents were just up in arms about it. They were like, this kid is raw talent. We've invested thousands in our child. How was she going to get to start over my kid? And then eventually the stats just don't lie. And it's like she could just do it. She just had a different path to get there. So I think on that note, the goalie of the USA team of hockey, his story was something like that. He wasn't the chosen kid in high school that got to go to the

special school for grooming the best hockey players to that, you know, even the college I think he went to was in Division I. And then, you know, he's like the greatest goalie ever. Yeah. I mean, everybody has their own unique story. And I think the cream always rises to the top. And so if somebody has been doing it for 20 or 30 years. And maybe, you know, they're wondering, like, why is it my career where I want it to be? I truly believe, my dad's always said the cream will always rise to the top. You just have to come, it's, it's the people who quit that aren't going to figure it out. And, you know, that naturally great person that is beating the comedy club's doors down on the open mic nights and then, and then doing it the, if you will, the traditional old-fashioned way,

they will get where they're supposed to go. But this new generation of like the kids, kids that are, you know, in their teens right now, social media is all that they know. And so that's what's going to break everybody. And it's like AI now in the sense of like, you can hate AI, which I do. But if you don't adapt and learn how to use AI to help you, like my mom's a real estate agent. And I came from a real estate agent family too. I was a realtor. I was too. I read that about you. Yeah, I was a realtor too. And I've had to remind her like, mom, you need to learn to how Ask chat GPT how to market yourself in your particular demographic. She's like, but it scares me. I don't know how to use it. And I was like, you're either going to have to learn how to use it or you're going to get left behind.

And so that's why I just, I was like social media, I'm not going to ever view it as a bad thing for me because like Trisha, my fans have learned to just like follow me through their phone screens. And they have this parisocial relationship with me. And so when they get to see me live, it's such a treat for them because they've been seeing me so much on their phone. phone screens. So it is totally different. And I respect, I have to always say, I respect the traditional old fashioned way. I have so much respect for people that do that and have done that. And that's how they've gotten to where they are. But I know that we also have to adapt and know that social media comes with so many perks and it doesn't make one less valuable over the other. Well, I mean, I feel like for me, I'm someone that did both. Right. You know, and what I would also say is, what people don't realize is how much work goes into being an influencer,

posting sketches, the editing, this, that. And so for the person that's just doing the comedy clubs and kind of bitter that they, whatever, only have, you know, 500 followers. Yeah, because you're not posting five times a day. And you're not coming home and you're not having someone film your set and then spending nobody, you know, a lot of people don't like to watch themselves back. well, you have to. And you have to cut it up and you have to post it and everything. One of the things, though, was interesting. Again, the traditional thing of is, but the first time I did

stand-up, it was like after a little, like six-week show. And I love that because I knew I had to do it, but much like you, I had a deadline. I would have never done it had I not had a deadline. And it was this little show at the end. And everybody's coming and everyone's excited to come because I have my USC friends and my high school friends and my parents going to the Santa Monica Improv doesn't exist anymore. So I'm like, okay, here's my deadline. I'm going to do it. So after that, it went really well. And everybody's like, oh, and somebody gives me this agent's info. I call him. And somehow I got him on the phone. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I just did this class. And I just had this. And he said, well, first of all,

nobody in the industry should see your stand-up after, until you've done it for two years. And because if you suck, they'll always remember that first time that you've sucked, which is kind of true, too. So I'm like, well, how do you tell you? someone that's starting to do stand-up not to film it and put it out there. Right. Because they think everybody, you know, how could you not? I filmed what I had on

my yogurt this morning. What do you mean? I'm going to do stand-up and not put that up. Right. But I do think for some people, you know, you could wait on that a little bit. Oh, for sure. Or do very shorter clips or something. No, I've had people on my team be like, let's try to get a special in the works. And I'm like,

I'm only on year three of doing stand-up right now. I there's no rush. I want to do this for the rest of my life. So let's continue to you know, pound the pavement and get out there. I think I did 120 shows on my first tour. I was like and that was the best thing I could have ever done because I got so many reps in. But yeah, I don't want to blow my load too fast, you know, and yeah. And put, you know, something that maybe I'm proud of right now, but that I have no idea how much more growth I can have out into the universe before, before I'm ready. Because, you know, we're just getting started. So it's like, Let's just be cautious about that.

I remember when I was doing the improv, this is like, you know, I'm in my 20s. And all these guys started to talk shit about me. And they're like, she's packing the audience. Because I actually had friends. Yeah. These fucking losers didn't have any friends. Losers.

I actually had friends. And they were really excited to come out at 8 p.m. on a Thursday night to see me. They were also laughing at all the other people. So you should be fucking grateful. I brought these people. You know, but they tried to act like, oh, I'm not actually funny because I, again,

only been doing it like a year or two years and I'm able to fill a room out when I do 10 or 20 minutes. Right. And that was really annoying. I think softball, and I hate to keep bringing it up, but I think...

Bring up softball. I think being such an ultra-competitive person, sports taught me so much about, you know, having a jealous teammate or having a teammate you can't get along with or having a teammate that wants to play the position that you're just naturally better at and like learning how to navigate those relationships. Whereas like when I got into the comedy world, if something like that happened, to me, it just didn't bother me any or if they, you know, said, oh, she hasn't been doing this

long enough to deserve what she has. I just put my, my brain just goes right back to playing at the highest level of softball and having to deal with 18 other women, only. one team. Yeah. And they all want to play and they all want to start, but there's only nine positions. And I don't know. I don't, I don't really let myself get too worried about what other people's opinions are of me just because I just love what I do so much. And the only time I think I've ever fallen into that trap was after my divorce, where it was a personal thing, not a professional thing. Because like, no matter what somebody says about my talent, I just don't believe them, whether it's good or bad. I just, I don't crave affirmation and I don't crave, um, criticism

only because I never was like that in softball. But I just played the game and wanted to be great at it. Just don't play for fun? No, hell no. That's always very interesting me too. Okay, so I'm the most non-athletic person as a last pick for every team. Back then, they used to pick teams like at the PE, which is only once a week because it was Catholic school. Yeah. And it was just so, like, stressful to me. I just started playing pickleball Hunsy outfit. Thank God. I want to get into that. I'm sure if we played one game

by the second game, you'd kill me. I've never played. Athletic people, tennis people, guys playing against a guy. Now the TikToks are these competitive pickleball tournaments though, like y'all get really fucking mad at each other out there. I'm not at that level at all.

I'm just happy to like return the ball and have fun. And now I'm like, now I'm getting a little better. I'm like, okay, now the only way like to play now is girls that are all at my level. Or if we play guys, it has to be the guys have to match and the girls have to match and then we play with a guy. That's not your husband. And then you can, then I can, that's a pretty good. So it's like swingers pickle ball. Yes. And because it can be a lot of, you know, it's not good. Like for example, like I finally was starting to feel like I can't believe

that I can play a sport. I mean, I'm telling you I could never play a sport. You look so athletic. Like you look like you would have been a volleyball player. It's just the outfit. And I'm tall. But I also, I didn't start young. Yeah. And so because my mom worked and I was young, I was to five, like, I wasn't doing sports or anything. And then, then I just was like, wanted to be, like, in the theater or whatever. And so, but I was like, God, mom, if you would have put me on that soccer team at four, like, I wouldn't be so fucking lame now, you know? Like, I totally believed in, like, you better start or like, so I made the pickleball started. And I was like, oh, my God, this is like a million times easier than tennis,

I think I can be okay. And then the first time I went, right away, this woman was like mean and just like annoyed that like I didn't hit the ball back or whatever. Oh my God. And it took like, it was like I was immediately at eight years old, feeling lame. And I'm like, I just don't think that non-athlet,

I don't think athletic people understand what it's like. when you're not athletic because it comes so easy to you that you're like I'm guilty of that and it's a say and I would say you know

this doesn't apply to you because you also are great on stage but I'm saying one time I said you know would you make every kid in the class sing a solo you wouldn't

right so why would you expect every kid to want to play performatively people are watching you miss the ball right the whole everyone it's just fucking horrible

right and so it's like so I start playing pickle ball and um and so like i actually like it and i can play pretty good and i can carry on a game in a rally and this for the first time in my life i can actually play a sport so so that is why that's why i like it but it is easy for everybody everybody can pick it up is it singles too or is it just no you're not really do singles see that's when my competitive nature comes in is like i don't want to have to rely on anybody like put me out there by myself that's why i love golfs do you play

golf you should get into golf no we play golf okay because i was about to say if you like pickleball. Yeah, my husband and said I'm really good at golf and I'm just starting to play. And you don't have to anybody. Yeah, that's what I also liked. I also liked that when my son first started to play it, I was like, oh my God, he's competing against somebody and he's like, wow, that was a great shot.

And I was like, oh, you just don't see that in any other sport because you're really just playing with yourself. 100%. Yeah. And that's stand-up too. That's the other thing of when, you know, because I did come from, you know, sketch to sketch and improv and plays. And what I loved about stand-up

is I was like, you only need yourself in a mic. Right. And you don't, if you have a partner and they don't feel well, they're pregnant, they get another job, oh, now how do we do this little two-person play or whatever it is? And so that is also what I love about stand-up. And it is such a unique talent, especially with so many people having podcasts and stuff.

Not very few people can actually talk for an hour by themselves and be entertaining and be funny. And so it's, it is a great thing that, you know, that you are doing it. I think that's awesome. My, my best friend, his name's John. He'd never done stand-up before, but he's truly one of the most naturally funny people I've ever met. And so I had four comedy shows at a comedy club to kick the tour off. And I was like, hey, John, um, I got 15 minutes at the top if you want to take it. And he was like, really? And I was like, yeah. He's like, done. I'm, I'm down. And this was probably, I don't know, maybe a month before the show.

And we got there and he just went out there. And you, honestly, Heather, you would have thought, like, this guy's just been kicking ass at comedy clubs and open mic nights for years. And that also reminded me that, like, a lot of times you're just put on this earth to do what you're supposed to do. And, you know, it's up to you to find it. And sometimes we find it later in life. sometimes we find it when we're four years old,

but seeing John do that and do it so well and just find a rhythm and go up there, like he wasn't even nervous, and it was annoying. I was like, how were you not nervous? I thought I was going to have a heart attack, you know, the two seconds leading up to my first show. And he was just cool as a cucumber. And now he's like, I want to do this.

And I'm like, well, let's get it done, you know. It's, and the same thing goes for someone that is spending all that time posting or, you know, doing something, in the creative arts online that isn't getting the views. It's like, well, do it for as long as you enjoyed doing it. Because that's the thing, like when I would be auditioning and things like that, and I wasn't really making money at it at first.

And once in a while, I'd be like dating somebody and be like, my God, since I've been dating you, you've gone on so many auditions. Have you booked any of them? And I'm like, no, I never do. That's the fun of it. I never know. I never know if this is going to be the one. so excited just to have an audition. I never expect a callback. I never, I'm like,

that's not why I'm, I'm like, I'm not doing it. Like, I just go to the next thing and I go, but if I ever feel I don't want to do it anymore, then I won't. But like, as long as you enjoying the journey. Yeah. Then just enjoy the journey. There's like, there's no like, oh, and then once you turn 30, go hurt yourself off a building and stop doing it. Like, what are you talking about? Like, there is no timeline for it, which is really, which is really cool. Auditioning is like literally, it's got to feel like taking heroin. Have you auditioned it all for much stuff? Yeah, I just started doing some self-tapes over the past year.

And just self-tapping alone, I'm just addicted to that. Because like acting has always been like the pinnacle. I've just always been like, I want to do the Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy style where they get to play themselves or a character like themselves and then play a character, like the Nutty Professor or Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. And yeah, so just auditioning alone has been just so fucking fun. And have you had any, like, childhood friends or anything that, like, secretly, or you found out that they were, like, not thrilled with your success and then you realized they weren't a friend?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not, not, like, close friends that, like, I would go out to dinner with now, but, like, people that I went to college with just kind of, like, start. I started mass unfollowing me once I started doing well. And I'd like, you know, start liking their pictures. And then I would realize, oh, they don't even follow me. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, what did I do? You know? And yeah, that shit's real.

It's so real. I saw this girl. I just started following her. And she told, she popped up on my page day. And she goes, I'm going to an event with three friends I'm no longer friends with. And what happened? She goes, I just started. She was a lawyer, but she started to do some online stuff.

And she kind of literally was like, I want to kind of build this and like whatever, give this advice or whatever she was into doing talking about. And she's like a young girl. And so she said, all my friends, and these are like a handful, you know, friends from high school. First I want to say she had one friend that would like everything, share, and even had multiple accounts to like and share. Okay. Then she had these other friends that they would watch her thing because then they would ask her about it. They were like, oh my God, that story about that date. What happened?

So she knew they were watching it, but then she would check because she was so in the infantile stages that they were never liking it. So then she was like, well, maybe they don't understand how this works. So she's like, hey, you know, it really helps me if you like and share and comment and, you know, and save it or, you know, anything like that really helps me. and they turned on her and we're like, what? Why do we have to do that? Like, you're annoying. And then, so finally she was kind of like, well, then maybe we can't like really be friends or whatever.

And then somebody wrote like, I can't believe to her, someone wrote like, I can't believe you're going to end a friendship over a like or a lack of their like. And then the friend liked that. No. The one thing she liked was the mean comment. And I'm like, well, there's no more evidence

that you need, then that is somebody who would, is dancing on your grave, but you're alive. One heart. So just know that if something really bad happened to you, they might show up with a casserole or they may go, uh, but their secret, their initial first thought is, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're waiting to boo you. And they're jealous.

And this is something, what I do, what you do, what content creators do, what influencers do among women. it is something that a lot of people can enjoy and like, but a lot of people feel like it looks easy and they could do it too. And because they're not doing it, they get, like I found some of my haters are fucking hilarious. And I go, oh, that's why you hate me. Because you're really fucking funny.

Exactly. And you didn't pursue it. Exactly. Yeah. It's always, I wish I was doing what they're doing. Yeah. And, you know, I read a quote one time. It said, go where you're envious.

and this was back during my, you know, fitness and real estate days. And I hated what I was doing. I tried pharmaceutical sales. I did real estate. I did all that, too, though. Sports broadcasting. And I just was not fulfilled. And I read this quote and it said, go where you're envious.

And I started researching the groundlings. And I was just like, I want to do that so bad because I love sketch comedy. I love improv. I love all that shit. But I was just like, I'm from Alabama. People from Alabama don't move to L.A. and do that. So I just stopped thinking about it. But every time I would see a comedian online,

I just kind of started becoming like, oh, I wish that was me. And I was like, finally, Deney buck up. If that's what you want to do, go fucking do it, you know? And I just don't think a lot of people, like I didn't. I didn't have the confidence to go out and do it at the beginning. So instead, I would just be like, well, I wish that was me instead, but I wasn't do anything about it. So you have a very cute girlfriend.

in the outside. And, I mean, not outside. We're in the closet. No, she's in the other room. So you started telling me about how you guys met. I was like, wait, I want to say it for the show. So tell me how you guys met. Oh, man.

Well, first time I met her, it was a very casual, hey, how's it going? I met her at a friend's house, a mutual friend. And I was like, what do you do? And she's like, I'm an actress. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I would love to get into acting. I was like, I know nothing about it. She was like, what's your email? I was like, uh, this.

And she goes, okay, I'm going to send you everything, all the resources for Nashville acting that you need. So sure enough, about four or five days later. Now, that's when I would have known that she was interested in you because no other straight actress would help another straight actress with anything. See, I didn't know that. Now I know. Now I know. But I was also married at the time. So it was like very like platonic and just like very just kind.

Well, still it shows that she's a nice person. Very nice person. Yeah. She loves to help people. So unusual in Hollywood, so. Yeah. But I guess in the South, it's different. Yeah, and she's from Wisconsin. She's just a sweet. Oh, that's where my mom's from. Yeah, just sweet Midwestern girl.

Yeah. And then we ran back into each other. I had gotten a divorce at this point. We were at the American Country Music Awards in Texas, and I was like, I'm obsessed with you. You were the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on. And you said all that? No, in my mind. I'm not that bold. Okay. I'm not that bold. I probably acted really stupid in front of her. And we hit it off. We started hanging out at the ACMs. And then two days later, she was like,

I'm going to fly to Memphis and surprise you at your show. She told my friend that. And she did. She surprised me. And at that point, you haven't acted like you like her more than a friend? I was flirting with her, but I've known Jen for a while at that point. I think that was probably three years.

And she had only dated guys. Okay. And so I just thought, you know, this is just going to be for me. Like, this is going to be something that gets me through another hard week is to just be excited about this girl that I'll never have a chance with.

Okay. Come to find out, she was like, I've never had feelings for a woman in my life. Now, how does she say that to you? So she goes to the show. She goes to the show. We hang out.

Does it make you nervous when you have people you know come to your show or does that make you even do a better show? Um, it depends. Like, my mom and my sister have never seen me do stand-up, and the first time they saw me was last week at the Raman.

That was a little nerve-wracking, just because I... You wanted to do such a great show? Yeah, and it's such an amazing, you know, a venue. Right. Yeah, I would say I was really nervous when Jen came, just because I was like, I want her to think I'm so cool and hot. Yeah. And she liked the show.

She loved it. We went out on Bourbon Street, or not Bourbon Street, Bill Street afterwards. I wouldn't recommend that at 2 o'clock in the morning, but we did it. We held hands at a bar. And I was like, I got this on lock. I was like, I'm locking her up. So now you're like, have you dated other girls that you were their first girl? I dated one girl in college.

I was her first girlfriend. And she was so sweet. We took it so slow. But Jen is just different. Jen is just like the most godly woman on the planet. She is just so Christ-like. And like you don't, you don't. enjoy cursing in front of her

because it makes she feel bad. Now I cursed a few times during this show. Fuck, you know. You know, damn. No GDs in front of her. That's where she draws the line. Okay. So I just, you know, I just wanted her to,

I wanted to feel like I was good enough to date her. It was a first time of my life where I felt like I needed to be, I needed to like be better in order to date somebody's, she's like Hobby Lobby. She is Hobby Lobby. If Hobby Lobby was a person. She's just sweet and kind and live, laugh, love. And yeah, I just took it really.

She actually kissed me first. I wouldn't kiss her because I don't know. I just felt weird about doing it. And then what was that like for her then to share you with the world? It was tough because people magazine wanted to break it. And she was like, I feel like everybody's telling me I need to come out, but I don't feel like I need to come out anywhere because I've never known I was gay. I just fell in love with you, Deney.

Like, I don't even view you as, like, a woman. I just view you as a soul. So she's like, it feels weird that I have to use the word coming out when that's never really been my story. And she told her parents that she liked me the day after the A-CMs. She sat them down at breakfast and was like, I have a crush on Dene Hayes. I was like, oh, it was that easy? My parents put me in a concentration camp, you know?

Like, that's how you do it? She's like, yeah, we're from Wisconsin? And I'm like, so you're going to eat cheese while you do it? Like, what the fuck does that? mean. Yeah. Like my parents, yeah, put me on a breathing tube about the middle of the woods and was like, until you change and get the devil out of you, don't come home, you know? And so we have, so they were cool. Her parents were cool. Their only reservation was that I sing a song called Dick in my nightstand. They wanted you to sing the song for them. No, they didn't like that I sang that.

Oh, they didn't like the song. They were like, oh, she sings a song called Dick in my nightstand. Not that I've got tits. So that's where that went. But yeah, I'm obsessed with her. She She's just, yeah, I would marry her today. Like, if I could find a chapel to marry that girl today, like, I love her so, I just cherish her. Right. I just. But when I, when you came, I'm like, oh, and you're married again or something. And you said, I'm not that gay.

Oh, you said I'm gay, but I'm not that way. How did you say? Yeah. You were like, oh, so you're married again. And I was like, well, I'm gay, but I'm not that gay. Like, because lesbians tend to like, you haul it the next day. Right. And here we are.

We've been dating 11 months. And I'm already like, I want to marry her again. But yeah. Yeah, I guess I am pretty gay. I'm pretty gay, I guess. And if you were to get married, what would you wear? I don't know. I love lesbian wedding outfits.

Yeah. I love that sometimes. It just, I don't know, I just like it. I don't love dresses. I like something. Yeah, I love it that sometimes one wears a dress, one doesn't. Sometimes both wear suits. Sometimes both wear the same dress.

I don't know. it's kind of fun. I just can't imagine myself being in a dress. I hate dresses. Well, obviously you should wear what's cool for you. I'd probably wear like a feminine suit maybe. I don't know. I think with your body you should wear a... Give it to me. Okay. I think you should wear like imagine J-Lo in a sexy white pants suit. I think you should wear a tight pants. She's got a little bit bigger of an ass than I do. Well, I think you should go with like a short. like it's tight but it's a shorter leg and then something very like a lacy like where the lace body suit underneath. Yes. And then a very nipped in like cute jacket but like

short, the jacket only hit you to the mid hip and nip you in at the waist. I'm just going to call you when this happens. Heather, would you style me for my wedding? Yeah. And then and then I mean you wear boots so you I don't I don't really want you wearing cover. I don't think I'll work out. I want to do just a sexy white pump. Because with the short capri pan. Okay. Yeah, just I'll give you a holler.

And you just come on down to Nashville. And when people ask, what are you doing? I'm styling a lesbian for her wedding. Yes, I want to style lesbians for their weddings. Yeah. I can love that. I just love it. I just can't imagine me wearing a dress because I, that, I'm not, I kind of have a hard time,

like deciding where I'm at. on like the spectrum of femininity and masculinity. Because it's like my energy is more masculine. Like the bros love me and I love the bros. But I'm not very feminine, but I don't dress super masculine. But I also don't dress very feminine. I'm somewhere in the, like what are the kids calling that? Indrogenous nowadays.

I guess I'm endrogynous. I don't think you are all though. Yeah. Because this outfit and everything is super cute. Maybe it's just, I've mind-fucked myself into that. Yeah. at all, bitch. No, not at all.

Like, I was like, yeah, when I was like, look at you up, I was like, oh, like I wouldn't have. Oh, she doesn't look like she works at Home Depot. This is awesome. My mom was so afraid I was going to work at Home Depot when I came out. Why Home Depot? That's the only time she interacts with lesbians.

Oh. She's like, I saw a lesbian today at Home Depot. And I'm like, oh, no. Where else did you see him? That's really the only place I see him. Do you have any desire to be a mother? To be my mother? No, to be a mother.

Yes. Yeah. Very cool. I know I better get started, though, because I don't know if I want to have a child once I get close to 40. Like, I want to be able to, you know, that kid should be able to go take a piss and a shit by itself at that point. Without me having to change its diaper. Well, I don't think 40s, you know, 40s.

I was done by the time I was 35. And I think that is an, I think that's the. perfect time because now my kids are grown and I sometimes think I am so glad like sometimes just like I got on a Tuesday night or something I'm like I'm so glad I don't have like boy scouts and like I just think there's a time in your life you know and everybody's thing is different and because of medicine you can have children much older and all that but I'm just like yeah there's a certain point where I'm like I'm really glad I'm not at the welcome back night yeah and there times that I did it It was really fun and I had the energy to do it.

I don't know how I did. I just, in my mind, I feel like 35 is kind of like where I would want to start having that conversation. It's, I think it's the, for me, it was sort of the ideal time. But everybody's different on their timeline, you know, and like, I feel like there's a big movement of people getting married and having kids really young again, which is like my age. It was like, oh, everyone got married at 29 to 30, every single person. Oh, my mom was married at 20, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But now I feel like there's like a movement of, you know, younger people. I was like, Mom, what were you doing? You were 20 years old and dad was 21 and y'all decided the next year. How many kids are in your family? Two. And they popped a kid out at 22. And I'm like, so your parents are really young. My parents are really young.

Yeah, my mom is 57, I think. And my dad is 59. Has anyone ever thought you were a couple with your dad or anything? No, that would be weird, Heather. Well, it's happened to me twice. No. With Drake. Stop.

And it's the greatest compliment. Because I had him. I'm sure he loves it. I had him at 30, you know, over 30 I had him. So I didn't have him at 18. Stop. The story was the best one. We were in Salt Lake City, you know, which is a little funky.

And we were a nice hotel and we have time before the show. And so it was like a little happy hour. So we were sitting next to each other so he could. could watch the game. Yeah. And there was this couple to my right. And the guy was kind of like hipster, like tattooed, and he had those big earrings, you know, like make your lobes.

Yeah. And she was older, but she wasn't like me older, like, with like Botox and like hair. Like she was looking kind of. Your skin is flawless, by the way. I've been staring at the whole time. She was looking kind of older, okay? Like flat hair and whatever. And at one point she...

Was she older or just haggard? I don't know because it was Salt Lake City but she was clearly older than this guy like women you'll need to care more by like 20 years put yourselves together and at one point she's talking to him and she put her hand on his chest and I'm thinking

oh I thought that was her son that seems a little touchy but maybe she's like son get a job I don't know what she was doing okay so then so then I'm sitting there with Drake and we're talking

we're sharing food. I'm like, do you want that? Whatever. And then she looks over at me. He goes to the bathroom. She goes, can I ask you something? And I thought she's going to say, are you Heather McDonald or whatever? And she goes, are you guys together?

It makes me so excited. Okay? See, I immediately just like, right, but to the parent, it's actually flattering. To the kid, it's like, you want to fucking barf. But to the, I'm like, I go, oh no, he's my son.

Well, now I know this isn't her son. And she's like, oh, I thought, you know, we just had something in common. I go, oh, is that your boyfriend? She's like, no, he's my husband. But he really looks like, he's actually a lot older than he looks. I'm like, oh, okay. She's like, I just thought maybe, you know, like we could hang out or something. And I'm like, no, this is my son.

Yeah. The other time it happened was in Houston. We were at this airport hotel in Houston doing on the road. And this guy, which is, by the way, Houston is like such a creepy place. be because of that airport. It was like, it was like, number one trafficking, whatever. It was freaking me out. And so we're there. And like, we go to, and already like Drake was like, he gets annoyed if I want to like ask

someone an opinion, a question that's a human because this generation doesn't think any human knows anything. You do not have it. Yeah. So I'm like, give me a minute. Like, I want to ask the lady because we just found a shit in our hotel room and I want to get another room. You found a what?

We did find an actual shit in the hotel room. Like, hold on. Somebody's shit in the carpet? I don't know if it was a dog or what. So we switch it. And then so now we're back. We had that incident. We came back.

Now we're in the hotel bar and we're eating. And now we're kind of laughing because like now we had a beer or some food. And we're there. I don't show that night. So like everything's fine. And this guy comes up and he's out, oh my God. I saw you all fighting. And then you went upstairs and had some makeup sex.

And now you're laughing. And I was like, again, so happy. I'm like, you think I'm young enough that this is my boyfriend. What guy just comes up to somebody who's like, oh, she went up her and fucked around and now you're back. Like, you're like, what? And I go, and then Drake goes, well, what you didn't see, mom, is that he had like four beers while we were sitting here,

four shots or something. I'm like, I don't care that he was wasted and seeing double. He thought I was young enough to pull you. Drake is just catching strays every time he goes out. But do you also think that Drake looks a lot older than he is? I go, well, maybe that's the case, but it's bad. Wait, hold on.

How old is? Drake, if I had me guess. He just finished college. He just graduated from ASU last year. I was going to say 23. Yeah. Yeah. I do get that my mom and I look like sisters.

Like, we'll go out to dinner. Oh, are you on a sister trip? And I'm like, doesn't your mom, so your mom must love that. My mom eats it up. It's the greatest thing ever. And her accent is so cute. It's very nasely. And she's like, no, we're, I'm her mom.

I love it. It's just so, I'm her mom. She just drowsy down. Well, so, you know, I've had it happen because, you know, I just, in L.A. And I have so many gay friends, gay male friends, that there's just been times where I just see a couple out and I just assume that they're two gay men together, you know. and the fact that they look alike and they have a big age difference doesn't mean anything

because a lot of gay guys like to find like a younger version of themselves. There's a lot of sugar daddy stuff. And I just was trying to this one, these two guys and I'm like, oh, so how did you guys meet? And they're like at birth. Like this is my dad.

And I was like, oh, I thought you guys were just like a well-dressed you know, May December gay couple. Like I was like, oh, I forgot like that there's streets walking. I have a game. that I play when I'm back home in Alabama, and it's, are they gay or are they just Southern men? Because Southern men dress super gay. Yes.

Like they wear the five-inch seam shorts with like a Searsucker suit and like all that stuff and pink. And a lot of them. And the voice sounds gay. Yeah, they'll be like, Denny. The Southern voice sounds very gay. On a man, yes. It does. And they always, they're just like, oh, tonight's so good to see you.

You know, Tammy and I'd love to take you out to Deney. or sometime. And I'm like, do you and Tammy sleep in the same bed? And every choir director I've ever known in the South is gay. Like the Todd Chrisley. You know what, Todd, if you're watching this brother, at this point, I believe you aren't gay.

I believe he's not gay either. I truly, I do. I finally gave up. I was like, I really don't. I don't know. Or he did what your conversion therapist said. He thought about it. But he didn't act on it. But he didn't rob the bank.

And he ain't robbing that bank. Yeah, I think he might be straight for real. But that's what I'm saying. Is he gay or is he just a Southern man? Exactly. Oh, that accent is so gay. Deney, this was so much fun. I'm so glad that we got to sit down and talk.

You have an incredible tour. Tell everybody where they can find it. You've got dates all the way through, oh my gosh, you have dates all through the end of May. You're going to Florida. You're going to Arkansas. You're going to North Carolina, Georgia, Texas, Colorado. Richmond Virginia. Where are we? We still have Washington, D.C., Nashville. No, Nashville, we already went to. Washington, D.C., Richmond. Tell everybody where they can follow you.

Yeah, so Deney Hayes.com, best ticket prices. And then I'm on TikTok, Instagram, the Facebooks, at Deney Hayes. Thank you so much. This is great. Thank you, Heather. Thanks.