Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Comedian Ms. Pat’s Rise in Hollywood and Hilarious Life Advice

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Ms. Pat has an extraordinary life story which she shares here on Juicy Scoop with heart and hilarity. She is a successful stand-up comedian, writer, producer, mother and everything in between. You will laugh hard while being inspired as you listen to this very special episode.   • Go to https://TheOuai.com and use code JUICY for 15% off your entire purchase. Wash your OUAI to healthier hair with shampoos and conditioners made just for you. • Go to https://Booking.com This summer you can book whoever you want to be on Booking.com, Booking.yeah! Book today on the site or app. • Head on over to https://awaytravel.com/juicyscoop to see the new softside luggage from Away! • Go to https://Ro.Co/JuicyScoop Sign up today and you’ll pay just $99 for your first month—and $145 a month after that. Medication costs are separate. Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Well, I wanted to give you guys a treat during this summertime fun, and that is one of my favorite interviews that I did, and that is with comedian Miss Pat. I got such a great response from it. It was so hilarious, but also so incredibly heartfelt. And her life story is just fascinating. So let's revisit it now with the hilarious Miss Pat.

Very excited to have comedian, podcaster, host of many shows, your own TV shows, Ms. Pat, welcome. I am so excited for my audience to get to know you better today. Well, thank you for having me. I was excited when I got a call. I said, you're going to do Heather? I said, okay, I tried many times to get here. No, you haven't. Well, yes, we have. My schedule just wouldn't let us. Oh, okay. Okay, because I'm saying definitely nobody's been like, would you like her? And I said no.

So I'm glad that it worked out because I like to have people in person. Pam have pitched me many times, but it never lines up. Okay. But it did this time. Good, good. So you have a very interesting background of how your life and your kids.

And so let's just let everyone know how you got to have such a funny point of view on your life because I think your point of view is very unique. Well if you're not familiar with me I always like to start from the beginning. I had two kids by marriage by the time I was 15 dropped out of school. Wait you're married wait you had two kids by the time you're 15? Yeah, by married man. I wasn't married. I wasn't married. Oh, how did you meet him? At the skating rink. Roller skating.

God, I loved roller skating. So did he. So wait a minute. So you're in high school? No, I'm not in high school. At that time, yeah, you had to be in high school. No, I'm 51. So there was no middle school.

So you went from elementary straight to high school back in those days in some area. So I was in elementary school. You were still like up to the eighth grade or whatever, ninth grade. Yeah, it went to the eighth grade. Okay, and so you're there roller skating around. I went to a kids night, like a little teen night,

and he was there. Yeah. And how old was he? 22, married with a baby on the way. And so he starts flirting with you. No, he started coming by the next day, and we kind of got to know each other. And I'm this little girl, oh, boyfriend, which is with somebody's whole husband.

And I ended up getting pregnant, and I ended up having two kids, dropped out of school in the eighth grade. Did the woman know about you? Yeah, she knocked on my door and told me I was pregnant by her husband. What city were you growing up in? I grew up in Atlanta. So what did your mom say?

Nothing. My mom was an alcoholic. I mean, pretty much I raised myself. So, you know, she, one thing I know about life, curses are passed out. What happened to my mom, she allowed to happen to me. But when it got to me, I stopped it from happening to my daughter. So generation curses are true.

I used to tell this bit, if your mom got welfare, then the child is going to get welfare. The only reason why my daughter don't get welfare is because she's gay and she don't have no kids. So the curse would stop right there when my daughter decided to eat what she was born with. So there was no need for her to go on the system. When did she come out? My daughter was gay? Oh child, I knew my daughter was gay from ever, on the system. When did she come out? My daughter, yeah.

Oh child, I knew my daughter was gay from ever, from the beginning. You know, you being denied, but you know, my daughter been licking plates the wrong way since she was a baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

If your child is gay, and you fucking, excuse me, I don't know if I'm cursed, but if you looking the other way, you are a damn fool. Now today, kids come out your vagina with a fucking gay flag in their hand. Back then, the flag would fold up nice and neat. My daughter was gay from day one. There was no doubt she was gay. You can look the other way, but you know.

You know when, I mean,'s the same when we tell you if your child is sick or if your child is not feeling well. It's the same thing. So you know your child is not acting a certain way. And as she got older, as she got older and she was stuck in that closet, she started to get meaner, she didn't like me because I didn't like gay women.

So just so many clues there. But I'm fine with it. I mean, she go through women like we go through lipstick. She's a player? She's a whore. Oh. She's a ho. I told her I'm glad you gay

because you probably have a lot of kids. Oh my gosh. You're so... Okay, so this guy is coming around and you have the one baby with him. And then I have another baby. I had a baby at 14 and I had another baby at 15. Both by him. Yeah, both by him. And was the wife nasty to you?

I mean, did she want to like hurt you for coming around with her man? Well, she was mad, but when she showed up and realized I was a damn kid, because she was actually probably was 19. And I was 14. Wow. So for you to show up and you know, and you see your husband having an affair with a 14 year old, what do you do? I mean, my whole thing is I thought I was in love.

And I wasn't going anywhere. Because I just thought, you know, he said the right thing to me, which is I thought I was in love and I wasn't going anywhere because I just thought you know He said the right thing to me, which is I love you So I wasn't willing to let go so eventually she I ran her off and I thought I was gonna be number one child Bitches stuff falling out the sky like rain Well, like I can't even imagine so you're this little like having a baby, and then you took care of your baby yourself every day. So then you couldn't go to school anymore at that point. I could go to school, but you know,

it was more interesting stuff outside of school to do. Like sign up for WIC, go to doctor's appointments, do motherly shit. So, and then I was really, we was poor, so I needed to take care of this baby. So I had to go get a job to take care of this baby. As a teenager? As a kid.

I mean, I just can't even imagine my kids being in that position. That we never know what to do. And then, and nobody thought, like, we need to get the authorities involved because this guy is an adult. Nobody cares when you poor. And see that's one thing about what society don't realize. They don't care about... It's really not a race thing when you poor. You just fucking poor. This could happen to a little white girl. This could happen to anybody. But when you don't have the right people around kids or in your life, nobody

cares. And nobody damn sure doesn't care about a little black girl getting pregnant in the seventh grade. Wow. So you manage to have these two kids. When do you stop having contact with this man so you don't have a third with him? Oh, years. I was with him for 10 years. You were with him for 10 years. Now how did you make sure you didn't have a third baby by him? I had an abortion. Oh, OK.

A few miscarriages and a few abortions. I just knew what it was costing me to take care of these first two kids and how much I was struggling. I was like, I don't want no more kids. I can't. You know, I had an abortion when I was 16 right after my son. And I just said, I can't afford it. Yeah.

And so I divorced my mom. I became a massive pay to minor, and I was like, I can't do this, this is just costing me so much. And you know, when you go out and fill out an application at 16 years old for a full-time job, and people are like, you supposed to be in fucking school. So I couldn't really get a job without a work permit, so I became a drug dealer.

Nobody wanted a work permit for that. They just wanted good crack, and good crack is what I had. Now how did you get involved in that? Thank God for Ronald Reagan. He dropped drugs in the black community, as we say. It's like. Ha ha ha ha ha. According to society, the Reagan.

So this was like what year? This 80 what? Late 80s. Late 80s, we crack hit the black community about 80. My daughter was born in 86. So by 85, 86, by 88, I was selling dope. And how would you, like, how does that work? Like, so you get it from somebody and-

We buy a little bit. I took my welfare check at the time, which was $230, and I bought my, I think, I can't even remember. I think it used to be called a quarter. It was cost like $200 back in the day, and you would cut it up and you would get $400 off a crack out of it. And you just keep doubling it.

And that's what I did. And then people just knew or like Yeah, they just knew who Rabbit was because I had my own little trap. Oh, your name was Rabbit? That's my childhood name, yeah. Oh, okay. We're like rappers, we don't use our government names.

Okay, so then like, then people just knew like you'd be at this location at this time. Yeah, all the time. It was like, when you set up a trap, it's like you're a stove front. Okay. And back in those days, people sold drugs with respect. You don't come to my trap.

This is my area. So I had my own little area, which was my old neighborhood where I grew up at. And then, but what about the other drug dealers? Did they, did they respect you, or were they mad that you were doing well, or were they mad that you were doing well or that you were a woman? Well, I was the most popular drug dealer in the trap.

So I didn't have a problem. If you tried to sell, it really didn't affect me because everybody came to look for me. So were you, is that when you realized that you were the funniest drug dealer in town? No, I wasn't funny then. No, no, no. What about just having like a sparkling personality? Like if I'm going to buy, you know, it wasn't funny then. No, no, no. What about just having like a sparkling personality? Like if I'm gonna buy, you know, it's just like anything. I'm gonna go to a doctor, if I'm gonna go, I want to go to the person that, you know, I have some good convo

with. Well, you can't really make people laugh when they're high because they don't even see you. So I didn't realize I had such a big personality. I was just outspoken. I said whatever the hell I wanted to say. Okay. And if you laugh, you laugh. I wasn't there for entertainment, but I mean, to me I was a pretty good damn drug dealer. Comedy came along later.

Once I went through the Welfare the Work program, I met a caseworker. This is the first time I voted for Bill Clinton because he was cute. So, I went through that program and I met a caseworker which the caseworker thought that I was a, like she was like, what do you want to go to school for? Because at the time you had to get your GED or you would lose your benefits or you had to go to work. That was, it was where federal work program. So my caseworker

is like, you dropped out in eighth grade, why don't you get a GED? And I was like, for what? And she said, as I went through the GED program, she was like, you're really funny, why don't you try comedy? I said, what the hell is comedy? And she was like, like Richard Pryor, I didn't even know Richard Pryor was a comedian, I thought he was just a funny ass actor.

And so I started to do some research at the La Huelfe Center, and I was like, this man make this kind of money telling jokes? And I was like, shit, I tell shit all the time on the phone talking to my girlfriend. So I went to an open mic. In Atlanta. In Atlanta, a place called the pub and I never stopped.

So the first time you got up there, did you have even like notes written down or I'm just gonna get up and tell a story or what? I had a joke about my brother being a fat cat burglar. And it was this lady in the audience that was drunk, was acting a fool. So I immediately turned my attention to her and just started talking shit to her.

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code JUICY. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine in only until 11 a.m. So you do a lot of crowd work still? No.

Oh, now you don't. I tell a lot of stories. Yeah, me too. I do some crowd work towards the end just to mingle with the audience, but I mostly tell a lot of stories. Yeah, me too. I do some crowd work towards the end, just to mingle with the audience, but I mostly tell a lot of stories about, you know, how I grew up or being married for 31 years or, you know, having a, just life.

Okay, so then when did you get married? 1992. So, had you started comedy yet or no? No. And who did you marry? A nice guy named Garrett. And who did you marry? A nice guy named Garrett. And how did you meet him? Actually, we went to an open mic night.

It was Bruce Bruce was the host. So you were just watching it? We all went to hang out one night. But you weren't performing yet? I wasn't even on my mind. We just went to go and watch Bruce Bruce. It was lip singing and comedy together. Okay.

So we, my friend knew my husband, brother. So we said, hey, we just all go down here and have a good time together. And that's what we did. Uh-huh. And then, so you got married. Yep, got married at the courthouse and my kids needed a father.

So, and I ended up getting custody of my sister for kids raised them for ten years. Wait that's okay so let's talk about that because I remember that being part of some of your sitcoms that you've sold and stuff was about also taking care of your sister's kids right so how did that come about? So my sister was on crack at the time and then I was coming out of the world of selling crack because my husband was on a church guy and he just knew Garrett was yes. Okay. This wasn't he wasn't raised the way I was So he was like, well, you know just go get a job and I'm like get a job who get a job

Why don't you get a job with all this money out here? For love I traded in the streets and Right after I traded in the streets. And right after I traded in the streets, my sister was losing her kids. And the defacto worker said, somebody don't come get them today. I have to put them in a home. And so my sister had four girls and I was like, nah, I said, this is family. I don't want that to happen. So I went and got them.

And for 10 years, I raised them. And so when you took the four kids into your house with your kids, what were the ages when all six kids were in your house? Well, the two oldest was the same age. I think there was around Eight or nine because that's when I met my husband. Okay, my son was probably seven. My sister had a six month old She had a one year old six month old She had a about maybe about to turn two and then she probably had a three-year-old. So we had babies, babies. And my husband had no kids at the time.

And now he has six. Well, at the time, he had six. Wow. And so, and you never had any more kids yourself? Yes, I had two by my husband. So then you had two with Garrett. Later on, I had two more. Okay, so then when you had the four kids and your sister is not getting better or what?

No, she's not getting better. And at any point was she calling you and wanting to see the kids or being resentful or how was your relationship with her being that she was, you know, a drug addict and you're raising her kids? I don't have a patient with people. You know, it's no problem with me saying fuck off. And for years, she didn't see the kids. But where I went wrong, I only had temporary custody

because I always wanted to give my sister her kids back. When she was able and ready. And she found out that I had temporary custody. I never turned it over to permanent custody. And she came and got them. And they're all on drugs now. So now, fast forward to 2023, I'm raising one of the kids who I raised,

I'm raising her four kids because she's on drugs. And I've had them now for 10 years. Her baby was, oh, I think a month, not even a month old when I got her. Well, this is exactly what you talked about, the curse. Yeah, the generation. So that child, so after the 10 years, then they went back to her.

My sister's kids. Your sister's kids went back to her. And at that point they were pre-teens, teens? They were pre-teen, they was in high school, good grades and everything, and they all just got on drugs and had kids. And how did you feel about them going back to her? Were you, like, relieved or were you worried?

No, I was very hurt because I knew how my mama raised us, and my sister was a lot like my mother. And at first I started to fight it, and then everybody was like, oh, you know, you should give her her kids back. And I was like, y'all know this girl is not capable of taking care of her kids. And I used to tell my brothers, I said, you know, she's going to do the same thing to

those kids all mama did to us. And so I didn't get any support from the family. So I was like, fuck it. I'm going to go live my life. My whole life I've been here trying to save my family. So I said said fuck them. And I just walked away and I let her have her kids. So every now and then I would bump into them.

My niece who was a really good track star ended up immediately getting pregnant. Then the other ones got pregnant. And if she was with you, if she would've stayed with you, she probably would've gone on or gone on to play for college or something. I mean, what abroad or something.

Well, we had plans. We had plans. She was a senior. We was filling out college applications when her mama came in. Oh my gosh. How heartbreaking. So, when she left and she got pregnant, the struggle was real. I just cut them off.

Because sometimes you have to remove toxic situations out of your life. If not, then you become toxic. So I just said, that's it. Fuck them. And that was, let's say I know my niece dropped out of school, my niece got pregnant at 11. 11 or 12. And I remember because my sister called me

and said that the school was mad because she's so fucking dumb. The school was mad because she gave the kids in the sixth, cause her daughter was birthday was late and she was held back. And I think she was in the sixth or seventh grade pregnant and she gave our baby shower invitation. And I was like, are you fucking stupid?

This is not a, this is not a birthday party. So I just continued to remove them out of my life. And then I was in Atlanta one day, because all of them had kids, one of them went to jail for abusing the kids, and it was all kind of crazy shit. Make a long story short. So it's like every time,

so you're just like doing your own thing, and then your phone rings. Yes. And you're like, and they're like, can we please speak to and you're just like, oh shit. I know this is this is something. Well, there was always they would they started to call. And I just I just really removed myself from them. I didn't want to be bothered with anybody.

Now at this point, when the sister takes over the kids, are you do you have a career in comedy yet? Comedy is just now kicking off. I'm trying to be a comedian. And does the sister know that? Yeah, she knows that. And is she like, go girl, or is she like, oh, you think you're all that?

They didn't think it was serious until it got to this stage now. Okay. You know, they know. So you're not rolling in the money, you're just struggling like everybody else trying to be the good aunt and you know, mom figure to all these kids. Yeah, no, I didn't when they was with me. I didn't have nothing. Okay. I'm on welfare.

I'm on based on income housing. I'm working and I'm just doing things to get by and then comedy come along and I find something, and it comes along right after my sister take her kids. So sometimes you gotta be still and let God guide you. I was heartbroken. I mean, I don't use the word depression because the word depression is too strong because when you use that word,

your mind controls the body and how the body feels. So if you speak that, the body will start to feel that. But I was heartbroken because I knew where I was trying to break a generation of Christ, I mean Christ, generation of curse of high school dropout teenage pregnant molestation, my sister just threw her kids back into that pit. So my daughter and my niece was the first two

to graduate in three generations. And I just said, I'm gonna focus on my own kids. Cause for that part of my life, I had focused on saving family members along with my kids. And then, you know, I was fucking, I was neglecting my own kids. So I went ahead and I raised my kids and I always had the family that I wanted to have.

And I just didn't talk to them. And then fast forward 10 years ago, I'm riding in Atlanta and I get a phone call and my niece tell me she need Pampers for her baby and she pregnant with another baby. She had four kids. She had three outside the stomach and one inside. And I don't even think she was 20.

And my other niece who I raised, she's 22, she got seven kids. So, and I asked her where she was at, and no lie, I was right at the exit where she was at. So I went to this drug-infected area and dropped off some Pampers and milk, and I just said, Lord, you're not about to trick me to this bullshit again.

And I ended up having Christmas dinner with them, and I brought her home with her four kids back to my house. And- And this is only 10 years ago so now you are you've been successful for quite a while yeah, so I get these kids, yeah, and my career starting to take off a goal to a weekend Williams is tough and and make a long story short. I was going to these kids to she run off and leave me with these 4 keys to she comes to Christmas.

We've been moving with me in Indiana. I'm helping her get off drugs. I put in a drug, this is my niece, a drug rehab. Her baby dad is in jail for armed robbery. I'm like, I teach her how to drive. I buy her a car. I help her get a apartment. I help her get a job.

She makes supervisor. I'm putting in a GED program, everything to make her life right. And she said, I'm missing something, which is drugs. And she get back on drugs. What was her drug? Everything, you name it, she was doing it. She just leave me with these four kids.

I tell her, come back and give me full custody. And she said, no, because they're my kids. I don't want to give you full custody. I said, Lord, I'm putting them in a fucking foster care. And I tell this bit on stage and God whispered in my ear and said, keep them and I got you. My whole career took off within that year. I have chills right now.

Within that year. Dude, were you really on stage and you really felt a voice? I felt a voice. It was a warm voice in my right ear and it said keep them. Cause I said, I can't do this. I said, I'm trying to have a career. I'm trying to do something right. And I got four fucking kids and you know,

my daughter was getting ready to go to college. She wanted to go to HBCU, which is a historical black college. And you know, we live in Indiana. My daughter don't apply to Howard. She don't apply to other major. And she got accepted. And so when my career is starting to take off. So you feel like everything is just like finally in place.

And it's like you're living like a normal person. Yes. Now your daughter is about to go to college. And it's like you're living like a normal person. Yes. Now your daughter is about to go to college. And how old was your other child at that point? My other child was at, she was 17. So he was 16. He probably in the 10th grade. Okay, so like life is finally getting easier.

They're self-sufficient. You're not raising any babies. Well, no, I got my nieces there with the four kids. No, no, but I'm saying like, so that you're like, okay, and then you hear that, no, keep them. So then what happened? And so when I when I when I said well we can't put them in the foster home. We done had this baby for six months. You love this fucking month old baby, a two year old girl, and a boy and a girl that was six, five or six. So I said, it was a girl, five and a boy, six. So I said, you know-

All little, yeah. All little. I left them at my house, so I said, you know what? I'm gonna keep them, but I don't know how. So since I'm a convicted felon, make a long story short, the state of Indiana said you don't qualify for anything. Because you got caught for selling drugs? Yeah, because I'm an ex-drug dealer. I'm a convicted felon.

So they said, well, if you took my niece's kid, they'd have gave you $750 or $900 per child. Since it was me and I was a family member, they only gave me $310 for four kids. A month. No food stamps, no childcare. I remember they only gave me $310 for four keys. A month. A month. No food stamps, no childcare, nothing.

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Terms apply. So to get food step, I had to put my whole household on that. Well, my husband worked at General Motors. I wasn't even gonna do that. I worked my ass to get out the system. I wasn't going back for these kids, so I said, fuck it. So make a long story short. Don't make it short. This is so interesting.

Well, and sad, but inspiring too. Like I wanna know, like I appreciate you telling how you would change your mind and know that you're doing the right thing is gonna reward you. You have to believe that everything happens for a reason. Why God took those four kids and placed them in my life, I realize it now, but at the beginning I was pissed off.

So I don't have permanent custody, nobody's trying to give me permanent custody. So my mind said, I don't have permanent custody. Nobody's trying to give me permanent custody. So my mom said, well, go apply for temporary custody, right? Cause she didn't leave, she just left the kids and they came to the house and said, well, you got food in the refrigerator. You can take care of the kids. Well, no, I can't if I don't got,

I don't have no way of talking and speaking for these kids. So I go, I literally, I go to the courthouse and get temporary custody. I go in front of a judge. He hit the mic and said, I am a fan. Because I did a popular show, Bob and Tom. You know Bob and Tom in the end. And he said, well, do you want permanent custody?

And I said, yes. And that day I got permanent custody. And people was like, how the fuck did you get permanent custody? I said, God placed me in front of the right judge, understood my situation. And who wanted these kids to have a future. So now the kid, the youngest is 10 years old,

it won't shut the hell up, but I love her to death. And I have two ninth graders and I have a seventh grader and they're thriving, they're great. That is awesome. Now where is the mother? Selling pussy in the West End of Atlanta somewhere. I don't know. But she doesn't reach out.

Well, not really. What about like in the day of social media? Like she doesn't. I don't know. But she doesn't reach out. Well, not really. What about like in the day of social media? Like she doesn't- I don't put them on social media. I don't have a phone. I know, but she doesn't try to like DM you or find you or- She don't know where I'm at. She's not trying to-

Well, I'm a no-nonsense person. I don't play no games. I'm 51 years old, Heather. I don't have time for this shit. You're not gonna come here with your crackhead stories and try to play with my emotions. Leave them alone. Just leave them alone. You saw what happened when your mama stepped back in your life. So let's break this cycle and leave these kids alone. Let them grow up. If they decide to come back and let you be their mama, then you can be their mama. They know who their

mama is. They call me auntie. They only call me mama when they want something. Or they're introducing me as their parents So, you know, nobody got to really know Our business right they know I'm they they they grant on or whatever the hell I am I'm they I don't know what I am to them. Yeah, I guess I'm a grand. Yeah Yeah, but I don't try to I don't we don't discuss their mother We don't discuss their father all I'm here to do is love you and give you the foundation to start off of, a solid foundation to start off of, something that I never had.

Now what happened with Garrett? I'm still married. Oh, I thought you said I was married for 31 years. No, I'm married 31 years. Oh, you're still? Oh, good. I'm glad. The whole time I was getting, waiting for the sad part of when Garrett, after everything he's done. No, I wouldn't trade him in for the world. Oh good, good.

No, I'm still married. Okay, great. Okay, so then you start doing standup and I feel like, how long, I feel like you've been popping for like what, like 15 years? That we're like, what was your first series? I remember reading that you had a series,

maybe it was just a pilot, but I remember reading like what your pilot was about, about taking in the four kids and all this stuff. And I was like, wow, this is really, I'm excited, this is interesting. Yeah, so I did Joe Rogan and I did Mark Merritt, and I'm not lying. when I tell you they released those Podcasts within the same week

Hollywood came knocking and there was like we want this is a TV show and I met like six or seven studios And I ended up what year is this now around? Mmm. I don't remember five years ago I know I think it's more longer than that. Yeah, I think it's more like ten or something. Yeah, it's like ten now because it took five years to get on TV and I'm going into the fourth season of it. Oh, okay. So, I went through a couple production companies and, you know, my Fox... I landed at Fox, which was good, everybody thought. Yeah.

And then went through two writers and it was Lee Daniel Runhauer Project. And so, you know, Hollywood, you don't get three chances to develop no sitcom. They throw your ass out the door. But for some reason I got three chances. And so it had to be good. I said, hold on, I got this person for you, but I haven't developed them right.

So all while I go through these two writers, it's a young kid named Jordan E. Cooper sitting somewhere in his last year of high school getting ready to go to college. And he's going to this college for fine, or he in New York. And he ended up getting on the same agency that Lee Daniels was with.

And when they threw the show out the second time, Lee asked Fox, give her one more chance, we got something here. Make a long story short, he said, I got this kid, I'm gonna go to the street. I found this kid, Jordan Cooper, and this kid studied me so hard. And he's only like a freshman in college? He's only like 21, 22. In college or just finished? No, he was in college just last year. Wow. He was ready to graduate. And he's a writer?

Just drop out. I said, boy don't drop out. Finish your college degree. You don't wait this many years. So in his last year of college, we were writing. We were trying to develop the show. We take it over to Fox and Fox was like- So he studied, he watched all your stand-up specials. He listened to everything. Okay, yeah. But Fox said, this boy never developed nothing.

How we gonna let him come in and develop a show? This is Fox. He's 21, 22, no. So as we're looking, as Runhauer Company and Fox is looking for another, our third writer, I tell the kid, I say, look boy, they're never gonna hire you, they're lying to you. Let's write a pilot.

And if it don't work, I just say, I wrote the pilot. So we are for a week straight putting this thing together. Cause he kinda had it in his head. And I just gave him, you know, I gave him the vehicle. He was already had the drivers. He had to be at, I already had to show cast to be honest with you. We get it together, we writing this pilot, we going back and forth.

We've eight days in, I said, Lee Daniel, I want you to read something. And he's like, what do you want me to read? And he's like, you need to stop trying to write stuff. We already getting you writers. But as I'm talking to these production companies, which is Ron Howard Company, they was like, we got four more writers for you to meet.

I'm like, write motherfucker, write, write, hurry up and write. So I take it. And he's like in college still like going to classes. Yes, going to classes. And then writing the sitcom. That's amazing. We're writing the sitcom. That's amazing. We're writing the sitcom.

That's amazing. I handed over to Lee Daniel, he read it, he called me back, he said, who the fuck wrote this? And I said, me. And he said, no, you didn't, everything is spelled right. And so, I tell him the kid that he brought to me wrote this and he couldn't, Fox and couldn't believe it.

They was like, okay, he can write the pilot. So we had pretty much wrote the pilot. Wow., okay, you can write the pilot. So we had pretty much wrote the pilot. Wow. And not only did we write the pilot, we had the whole first season planned out had they picked it up. And so you shot it? We know, actually, we, we, they switched the character. They allowed me to be me more. Okay. So with that, my sitcom is the first to do that type of like cussing, really pushing the envelope, I believe. So they was like, well, we can't show this on network. And so the co-creator is like, well, let's take it to a streaming service.

Hulu bought it. And Hulu buys it and says, hell no. This is too edgy now. Well, I just don't think, I think some people at Hulu wanted it, but their decision making didn't understand what it was like to be a black mom in America. They didn't think people like me existed because they never interact with a Miss Pat before. But it's a whole audience out there for that type of mom, you know, blunt, auntie, set your black ass down. Don't make me slap your white.

You know, I say all kinds of shit on my show. So I just think that they didn't think it was a market or an audience for that. Then they let it loose, they dropped it. I'll never forget how I was going on stage, sold out in Raleigh, North Carolina. I get a phone call, Lee Day, You can hear the crackling in his voice. He said, Hulu didn't pick you up. And I said, okay, that's fine. I said,

but I'm sold out. I got to go. He said, oh, you okay? So I'm fine. Now one time in my heart, did I not believe that they will pick up that show. Somebody two months goes by, BET plus would like to do your show. And I said, what the hell is BET Plus? And so my co-creator was, he knew everything about TV. You know, if it was a streaming service that was new, he knew about it. And he's like, oh my God,

it got less than a million followers. We're gonna die over there. And I said, one thing I know about life, from selling crack all the years that I sold it, if your product is good, the people will come, no matter where the fuck you at. Let me tell you something, you got some crackhead that will climb to the moon to get what they want.

And I'm just being honest. And so we created a show, went over to BET, they released it, bam, it shut the app down. Because so many people were subscribing and watching. That is so awesome. Yes. And so now that show is... My sitcom.

Is a sitcom. Based off of my life. And you filmed that in Atlanta? I filmed that in Atlanta. Awesome. So that's close. So it's like you can just go out of your door and go to the studio and do you do it in front of a live audience or a single camera?

We do it in front of a live audience or a single camera? We do it in front of a live audience, which a lot of people got away from. But no, baby, we have a party. When I tell you people are lined up to come see Miss Pat's show taped live, and I think we're the only one they're doing in Atlanta. Right.

So we taped a pilot in LA, and we just took everything that we learned from LA over to Atlanta, which was a little hard in the beginning because they don't shoot live shows. And people are not used to coming to see live sitcoms shot like that. But it worked.

I mean, the third season was popping. We was turning people away. Amazing. And now you have another show. Yes, I'm a judge. And so tell us about that because I love this. So it's called Miss Pat Settles It. So after the Miss Pat Show was pretty successful, my agents and thing, we started to talk with Viacom and BET.

And I ended up getting the overall deal over there. And because I just, I like being at Viacom because they understand who I am. And they allow me to create in my voice. They don't try to strip me of my voice. So I signed a two year deal over at Viacom. And my deal was to bring them more shows. So I brought them the court show.

And I said, hey, I got an idea, but I think it should be somebody else. And they's like, no, what about you? And I said, what you mean, what about me? I'm a convicted felon. They was like, I said, I can't be a judge. I've been to jail. They said, oh, it's TV.

You can be Jesus. So I taped it and I was like, oh, I like this. So people come in with like a people's court. With a real case. Yeah, and then you gotta feel, so like, what are some of the cases, tell me one case that you got to decide who should get what. Well, this one black lady went to her friend.

She wanted a Farrah Fawcett haircut. Farrah Fawcett, OK. Everybody wants to look like Farrah Fawcett. And I don't know why these plus size women thought they could look like Farrah Fawcett, but she cut the wig up like Joe Dirk. Oh, she brought the wig to be to be styled. To be styled and colored like Farrah Fawcett.

And when I tell you she chopped that bitch up like it had been through a blender. Brought the wig to be to be styled. To be styled and colored like Farrah Foster. Okay. And when I tell you she chopped that bitch up like it had been through a blender. So it's, and what was crazy because I didn't know it was real cases and real people. So when I said, oh, I'm gonna give you $5,000, but I'm gonna give you extra $2,000 because you cried. And they was like, you've messed up the budget. I said, what are you talking about? They said, Miss Pat, this real money.

I said, this shit real? You didn't even know that until you're messing up the budget. I said, what are you talking about? They said, Miss Pat, that's real money. I said, this shit real? You didn't even know that until you were actually filming? Until I was actually filming, just giving out money. Oh my God, that's hilarious. I love that. Okay, so I wanna ask you a little bit,

since you're in Atlanta, I am a big Housewives fan. Have you had any dealings with the Real Housewives of Atlanta? Do you know any of them? Have you ever like popped in for a scene or anything? I just did some promo with Nini. Love her. Yes, I do too.

And Candice, I see Candice all the time. Candice the best. Yes, but who is, I don't really, I bump into them at parties and stuff, but I've never really watched the Housewives. Oh, okay. So I'm not a and stuff, but I've never really watched Housewives. Okay. So, I'm not a reality type TV person. My background is-

Well, I mean, those are the two, Candy and NeNe. They are like, well, NeNe pursued acting and everything before, and then since she's active, so she's in the professional realm. And then of course Candy is too. So like, the other ladies are just you know really housewives you know that got on the show. So yeah. I mean so I see everybody you know nice or out you know whatever. I'm in that little circle now so if I go to an event you probably see most of them. Yeah I love it. And now I want to ask you, what do you think? Now, I am going to buy Jada's

book today. I'm going to the bookstore because I want to read it myself. And I also want to listen to the audio because I'm hearing all the clips about Jada and Will, and you're probably seeing all the clips too of the things that she has said. And so I just want to get your opinion of them in general. What do you think is going on? I don't know what's going on. I tell people all the time, mind your damn business. If you mind your damn business, I got other stuff going on. My husband got diabetes, he passed gas that night. He's still really live. I don't give a damn about no

Jada and Will. I'm hoping she doing all of this to make this book a bestseller. I think she is. I'm buying the book too. Let me tell you something. I'm buying the book and I don't even read no damn book. That's how I'm looking. I'm definitely reading the book.

No, I mean, it's just, she's dropping, you know, a lot of things that are, seem a little controversial. Nobody cares about. She was up here talking about, what you call it, got alopecia. The man been dead for over 20 years. Tupac.

She said Tupac had alopecia too. Yeah, he ain't even got a head no more. Are you what she also said? I forgot to say this because I talked about this on the show. Do you know that Willow, the daughter of she and Will, wrote some letter to Tupac, Tupac, to Tupac, and said, please come back down from heaven so my mommy can be happy.

And Will was aware of it. Well. That is like, I just feel bad for Will. So Heather. And then other people say I shouldn't feel bad for Will. Well, Heather, it's obvious you never had any good black dick before. You are 100% correct.

When you get good black dick. I haven't had any. Well, when you get some good black dick, you will be writing Jesus too Jesus to bring them good black dicks back. Okay? So, obvious Willow knew what Tupac had put on her mama and she wanted to see her mama grin.

And I tell people all the time, there's a difference between thug dick and educated dick. They don't run in the same circle. What's the difference of the circles? One arm pound you, one arm hunt you. Wait, one will what? One pound you. Oh, one pound, okay. And the other one goes gentle and slow.

Wait, so which one is which? The one, the ghetto dick. The ghetto is the pounder or the ghetto is the... The ghetto is the pounder. Oh. That's good sex. When a guy got a tattoo, they can't read, they thugged out and they can fuck.

Shhh. Oh. What about women who fall in love with the guy behind the bars? I'm fascinated by that. They have a whole, that's who they're seeking out, they visit them, they didn't know them even before they got in.

What? What do you think of women like that? Women that do, they like having a boyfriend who's in prison. They feel they're gonna save him, they go visit him. I think them bitches are crazy. I mean, but you gotta say, hey, they been, you and the thugs done got some good sex, Heather,

they do. But I don't know, it's according to how long he been in jail for me. Cause you know, you don't want them by to come down and just want to switch it back out because they're on the other side. You know, some people like men that go both ways. I like my man that go one way.

Oh, you mean some that are bisexual? Yes, bisexual. Yes. I always remember that one of my favorite Oprahs was the Down Low episode. Do you remember that one? You don't remember the episode? I live in Atlanta. This was like so eye opening.

So Oprah had on all these black guys who then were like, were on the Down Low. That was the first time I ever heard the down low. And- Together. Yes, on Oprah, but this is like 20 years ago. This is a long time ago. Okay. The height of Oprah, like, you know.

And they were like, look, we have wives, girlfriends, but we just like some, we like having sex with men, but we don't wanna be in a parade, we don't wanna live a gay lifestyle. We're just on the down low. And I'm hearing these women's stories about how they never knew, and then they came home one day,

and what they're seeing. And I'm like, and I guess it was because for this age of men, which now these guys would be 50, 60 years old, it was just so unaccepted to be gay, to be gay. Only to see. No, it's only it was only to be unacceptable to be gay to people who wasn't gay. If people were minding fucking busy, would have never been unacceptable.

I never gave a fuck about nobody being gay. Yeah. About my own vagina. I can only keep up with my I. I can barely keep up with it. When the hair get it growing, it look like the gap band down there. So I can't be worried about nobody else. That's the problem with society. We too busy worrying about anybody.

All you gotta do is be happy. Right. If you're happy, you can't notice what other people is doing. You only noticing shit, cause you're miserable. Yes, exactly. And the stuff that you're noticing is somebody else's happiness.

That's why you got an opinion. And that's what's wrong with the world. Jada and Will been switching out each other for years. Why is everybody shocked? Well, she said they're not. She said all those rumors about them being swingers and gay and open marriage, whatever, was not true until seven years ago when they said we're separated,

then she got with her son's friend. Yeah. And I can understand why. Did you not see his penis? August? It was huge. How did you see August's penis? In some drawers on Instagram, right?

Is there a photo of him walking across the street and you see it? No, it ain't that kind of dick, Heather. Oh. What the fuck you think? Black men got cow dicks? No, white, and there's times when you get a guy, whether it's John Hamm, who's white, or anybody of any ethnicity, and they're wearing a certain kind of pant, and you can really see it through the clothes. Did you see it naked or through the clothes?

I think I saw it through the clothes. Okay, and it looked big. Yeah, and it wasn't even hard. I mean, but you're a middle-aged woman, right? Come on, Will Smith is 52, 55 maybe. He ain't doing what Olga Agostino doing, whatever his name. He ain't doing what all the Agostino doing whatever his name He's doing what he doing. Okay, so let's just keep it real. I can understand why she jumped on that bike It had both wheels

Your man got a flat somewhere I love your Analogies and expressions. Yeah is really what makes your comedy, I think, so funny and unique. I mean, you married. Sometimes to keep the spice, you gotta reminisce. Ooh, Lord, I remember, 1992.

Then you start imagining that person. Yeah. You know, and all of a sudden you hollering. He's like, why are you hollering? You looking like, oh, it's you. That never happened to you? Don't say it. I've been married 23 years. Yes, okay, well we gonna keep You're like, you look alike, oh, it's you. That never happened to you? Don't say it, you married. I've been married 23 years.

Yes, okay, well we gonna keep going. Yeah, I've been married 23 years, but you know, listen, I'm watching The Golden Bachelor, I don't wanna be on it. So now I'm like, I'm happy, that I'm happy. But there's times when your friends are getting divorced and they're getting some fresh dick and you're hearing the stories at the dinner

and then you come home to the man in the lazy chair or whatever and you're hearing the stories at the dinner and then you come home to the man in the lazy chair or whatever and you're like, but in the end, as long as you have a good man, it's so important, but that's just all the truth of it. I truly understand why middle-aged women are out dating older men, I mean younger men. I can't do it because they're lazy, they eat, I have a 37-year-old son, I could never see me dating a 37 year old.

That's just not my thing. Plus they got too much energy for me. I just want to lay down and look at TikTok. I don't want you rubbing on me. You know, you got to fix yourself up for him. You got to put on a good bra. It's hard to tell a 37 year old why your titties are uneven. So I'm going to keep what I got because I don't have to explain stuff. My

husband know how to untouch my navel, I mean my nipple for my navel. 37 year old woman, oh why is that connected boy? Pulling apart, okay? So I'm gonna keep what I got. Too much instruction. Too much instruction. We're done, yeah. Oh my gosh gosh so funny. Thank you so much for coming out. Now you have a big tour with lots of dates. Yes I do. It's called my first theater tour. Call your girl Dunn made it. Oh my god that's what it's called. Oh your girl Dunn? Oh I love it. Yes. Oh my gosh so you're going everywhere.

Minneapolis this weekend. Mm-hmm. Dallas, Washington DC. Oh you said you're at the Howard Theater did you say? Uh huh I have you're at the Howard Theatre, did you say? Uh-huh, I have two shows at the Howard. I performed there. It's beautiful. I heard it was beautiful. It's beautiful. That's in Washington, D.C.

You're going to Philly, San Antonio, Houston, Atlanta, Chicago. Chicago's my favorite place to perform. Cleveland, Madison, oh, look at all these new dates. Cleveland, Madison, San Francisco, Portland, oh, fabulous. All you gotta do is go to misspatcomedy.com. Do you remember Cleveland, Madison, San Francisco, Portland, oh fabulous. All you gotta do is go to misspatcomedy.com. Do you remember where you are in San Francisco? I just came from there.

Mm-mm. You know where I'm at in San Francisco? So tell everybody where they can buy the tickets and watch all the shows and follow you. Misspatcomedy.com for your Girl Done Made It tour, but please tune in October the 18th. BET at 10 p.m. I will be their first judge.

Yes. How Ms. Pat settles it. Yes, you look so pretty there too. Thank you. Thank you, I'm so glad you came. Thank you, thank you for having me. Guys, don't forget to go to heathermcdowelland.net. I'm coming to San Diego July 27th with Julie Goldman.

Then I'm in Dallas and Saratoga and Houston and Austin. All of that is in August with Chris for Angelo, your favorite. So go to heathermcdahl.net, get those tickets, get ready to laugh. It's the Juicy Scoop Experience, yes. I know it can be really frustrating to try to find a shampoo and conditioner combo

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