Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Dave Chappelle, Amber Heard, Kim K’s struggles with Justin Martindale

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

Justin is here! Heather and Justin discuss Dave Chappelle’s unfortunate attack at the Hollywood Bowl Tuesday night. Blac Chyna’s mom, Tokyo Toni started a GoFundMe for Chyna to help her pay her lawyers. Kim Kardashian reveals how she fit in Marilyn Monroe’s dress in order to wear it to the Met Gala. Post Malone is having a baby! Ireland Baldwin reveals on TikTok the worst things ex-boyfriends have said to her, they are pretty horrific. Amber Heard has finally taken the stand. Gabby Petitio’s parents are suing Brian Laundries’ parents for $30k. James Cordon is leaving his late-night show. The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion premiered Tuesday and the Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip trailer dropped! And more! Enjoy! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts to get exclusive Extra Juicy episodes every Friday and get all episodes of Juicy Scoop, ad-free Or get access to Extra Juicy on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Head of McDonald Has got the juices scoop When you're on the road, when you're on the road Juice is scoop is the show to know She tops Hollywood tales Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data And serial sister, you'll be addicted and addicted fast To the number one tabloid real life podcast

Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo, and a McDonald. Juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop. I mean, what a week, because I've got Justin Martindale here. Happy scoop oh, did you so? Oh, you're so cute, because this is Cinco de Maya. I know.

I wore my little Michielotta shirt for you. That's so wonderful. Really, I don't know if you're gonna get in trouble for that being that you argue a little bit Mexican or no. No, I'm just from Texas and my- Is that count? Yeah, well, my family has as part Mexican. Yeah, my half sister and brothers are yes. My stepfather is

Hispanic. But if we did a 23 in me, you still are not. Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay. Well, come form, you guys. For him. You came for Kendall Jenner. You better come for Justin Marten now. It's the same day. I celebrate Sink of Demile from the family that I grew up with. It's never good enough. Listen, I stand up comedians. I am so sorry to say that one of my predictions came true. I know. Of course, after the Will Smith hitting Chris Rock, we talked a lot about it.

And I said, I'm really afraid this is going to give the weirdos, you know, and this will start happening more. And unfortunately, it happened. And I've seen it happen in smaller venues, with smaller comedians, people have sent me stuff. Of course, this got a lot of press because it was Dave Chappelle at, this is part of the Netflix as a joke, right?

Series, which is a festival of all the best and brightest stand-up comedians in which I was not invited to. In Los Angeles my city that I was born and raised in born at St. Joseph's in Burbank but whatever. Anyway, he got attacked on stage. Really at the end of his set it sounded like he was just announcing they were gonna have a musical guest. Chris Rock happened to have been there I don't know did he perform as well I'm not sure if Chris rock performed as well but like Jamie Foxx was there oh yeah I want to say I maybe the Snoop Dogg I don't

know but like so I think we have we have we have the video okay hold on you can we can see it wait where do I do this on here we go please announcing the music forecast and this guy just ran up from the front of the stage and just attacks him now thank God and then a couple other people got knocked down in the process. So seven other guys from backstage go running after the man in which they did get him. And then they, they, they, uh, they, uh, they, it's so terrifying.

Yeah. And then they showed him on the stretcher, you know, a gourd going into the ambulance. Well, he's going to have to pay for that ambulance. Yeah. And he didn't, he didn't, his son wasn't there to drive him to the hospital. And everybody was good. His arms going in a completely different direction.

Yeah, but I think he broke his hands. Like, he's got a posse there. Oh, I think Buster Rhymes was there. I think Buster Rhymes was the musical actor. But like, yeah, you don't... So, just really terrifying. You know, he then went on to like continue the show. And I guess they then had that musical guest play.

Of course, they caught the guy. He's been arrested. And I mean, yeah, so I, I remember someone reminded me this, a friend of mine out in Philly, she texted me this morning, she's like, oh, you know, what's that policy you said about comedy clubs giving free tickets to firefight to a policeman?

And I go, oh my God, I just had, I mentioned that that's something that should happen, but I want to say it again, I think it's a great idea. You and I are going to be in Nathavalley. The most terrifying place. You don't know we're crazy lifts. Yes, that's true. the Napa Valley, the most terrifying place. You don't know we're crazy lives. Yes, that's true. Okay, it's surpasses all demographics and cities and everything else.

We are going to be in Napa Valley and June 17th. And so I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have them, I got to have if it's up to purchase, but just mark the date. And if you are a police officer, maybe your wife's a juicy scoop or what. And we, I would like to offer you complimentary

tickets to sit in the front row. Yeah. And that's for all my shows coming up. Seriously, if your husband's a policeman and he's like willing to come and hot and hot. And I mean, I don't know how it works. So I mean, I hope I'm not doing it. I don't know if they can come strapped with their gun or just being like a guy that knows how to, you know, be trained with danger. I'm good with that. Yeah.

I also want to see if you're a female officer and a juicy scooper like, or not, or your girlfriend is whatever. Yeah. I love the police I always have So let me know and you know, we will be in wine country, which is rumored to be you know dangerous So maybe we should get shirts that say chug life. I don't know like maybe

I mean it is scared you have no idea like people now, I will say I was at the, I went back to the Braia improv running my hour because I taped my special last Sunday. And 20 minutes left of my set, it's going great. I had like, you know, a great group of people there. There was like a, you know, a tussle in the crowd. And I was thinking like, oh, maybe it's just a waiter, a waitress getting in order or whatever. And then all of a sudden it gets to the point where people are looking back and I hear people start going, shh, and

that's what I'm like, okay, and I stopped. I'm like, what's going on? And the guy goes, huh? And I'm like, what's happening? What's going on? He goes, this show sucks. And I was like, what? And the audience was like, well, then leave. And I go, yeah, get up. I didn't bring you here.

I didn't tie you down. Also, did you not see the marquee? I'm literally doing this in my picture. My background is teal. So I think it was someone who had their masculinity threatened I think a friend of those two guys was three guys I think one of the guys was like oh, I have to have someone walk me to my car because someone wants to just beat my ass for no reason. But they asked for their refund and they didn't get it. So thanks. Good.

I'm glad. But like security was like, came up to me and was like, I'm really sorry. I really dropped the ball on that. And I'm like, aha. But I also want to say, I don't want to criticize. I've said this before, the security to comedy club. We all know it's hard to find help. They might not be right by the stage. Sometimes you're doing other things.

Sometimes they don't provide security unless it's a more high profile person. And there's nights where there's maybe seven comedians performing. Oh, for sure. Those people can't provide their own security. Maybe that night, the club chooses not to spend their money on security those nights and like i said crazy is everywhere

so that's why i think the comedy clubs should have a policy where if police officers or professionals security i don't know how they would qualify it but that they could come uh... and get complimentary tickets and and being the front row and just do their thing it will be interesting because this festival is still going. Yeah. And Shepel, Leslie Jones, David Tell, Jeff Ross, Aziz Ansari, Bill Burr, they've all dropped in at the Comedy Store.

They all came, I want to say like maybe two nights ago and like, you know, Shepel did an hour, you know, which is you know a lot Yeah, and and then you know following up everybody goes up and goes up So I'm wondering if now because of this I'll come back and at and let you all know but like Tonight and tomorrow like I bet security is gonna be so packed because this You can't just like blow this off. It's like, oh, well, this was just a one time incident. You don't know how many other people are like, well, if I didn't get him, someone else will, you

have no idea. And that's what's terrifying. And didn't you say it was like a fake gun with a knife on it? Okay. So what, what, what the reporting is, it's like a fake gun. Like, I don't know what, you know, with a knife coming out of the end of it so i i'm in the high ball a long time i don't know if everybody goes through a metal detector i yeah i thought they would from a metal detector at like a six flags i would think you'd go through a metal detector at a hollywood

ball but i don't know and it's but he has to go through the metal detector every one should but also i don't know if maybe the the weird weapon tree he had maybe doesn't show up somehow i i don't know and like you know what what was because of again it wasn't like the guy came there was really right to have a good time

and he said something that triggered him like the will smith excuse it seems like he went there with the intention to do this and finally saw that Dave Chappelle was ending his set and this was his last chance. To what kill him in front of everybody? Be famous, you know, people and then people were saying, well, are they filming this for his next special and will they show this?

In the special, I don't think they will because it's taking away from the comedy. It's giving this guy, and we don't wanna give these crazies a platform. Another crazy person be like, oh my God, I got to be on the Netflix special of Dave Chappelle or Justin Martin-Dale or Heather McDonald. I listen.

You know your money? Yeah. Have a good time. Yeah. Sit down. Shout out to Thang Up. Right. That's the rules. Yeah. Sit down. Shout out to Thang Up. Right. That's the rules.

That's the rules. And listen, I wasn't asked to participate in the LA Netflix as a joke special festival, whatever. I don't know, maybe being the fifth most popular comedy podcast every week behind three men, two men, and another man, Conan, and just me alone as the only single family. Maybe that's not good enough.

That's just not good enough for Netflix as a joke. They don't really care. Here's the thing that I, I'm worried. So sorry guys, you'll have to come see me in Napa. I mean, my God, but I've been, what's worse? What's worse? Make a fun weekend out of it, Justin and I will be there. I mean, my God, I was like, you were like,

do you want to go to Napa? I was like, I have dreamed of this day. Like, I'm like ready to go. How would I? Along with all of L.A.P.D. and San Francisco movies. I'm gonna go. Please, you're all invited. Yeah.

Uh, I think he's going to get in trouble on this because of the video clip. Did you see the full video clip of what he said afterwards? Dave Chappelle? No, do tell. He said that was a trans man. Really? Yes. And I'm like, he goes, that was a trans man. And I'm like, no, don't. Like, if you don't know, he's

already gotten heat for making right, right. And so trans, but then also that, that is his sense of humor, and the fact that he's been hated. So clearly this might be... That's why I'm wondering if the motive was that, you know, this person could have a relative or know somebody. Honestly, if I got called to be the guy's defense attorney, I would make it a, you know, I was out of my mind because I lost my loved, who was a victim of the trans hate. So whoever his defense attorney is, you're welcome. That's the route you need to go.

I was like, I don't know all the things to say. Yeah, so that's all the things to say. And then Chris Rock said, was that will, which I thought was funny. Totally funny. But I'm like, come on, dude, you said that on a hot mic in front of the Hollywood Bowl after you got attacked. That's right. And then the other thought is like, wow, you dude, you said that on a hot mic in front of the Hollywood Bowl, after you got attacked, what's wrong? And then the other thought is like, wow,

you know, when that happened with Will Smith, no one arrested him, no one did anything. He got the award, everyone clapped in any party to his own music. With his own award, yeah. If that didn't happen to Will Smith or his arm went backwards, like, Yeah, so this isn't, you know, this isn't great.

It's not great for Will Smith. Clearly, the only person truly to blame is this psychopath, but who knows what we're gonna find out about him, what his motivation was mentally, whatever. But it could have been a lot worse and I'm so glad it's not like that would have been, it's so, so scary. It's, it's, it's, it really is.

Yeah. So, okay, let's get into, okay is yeah, so okay. Let's get into Okay, yeah, that was So My prediction was correct again. God you are really great and some people are like you're getting annoying But a lot of people let you know Black China was awarded zero. I know from the Kardashians zero Also, um, I couldn't believe it was true but somebody showed me information from only fans it says that she is one of the top earners of only fans and makes twenty

million dollars a month. Twenty million dollars a month but she said she doesn't have a bank account and she hasn't paid her taxes in years because she lost out on so much money being that the card asians metled in her robloves china e-show right which everyone i mean was bombed about meanwhile that coming back well tokyotani her mother tokyotani such a loving mother is going to do all that she can for baby black

china and she started a go fund me oh good to collette the goal is four hundred thousand dollars to get people to give their money to it so that they can hire more attorneys that will then appeal this decision great and where are they at a thousand They're seven hundred eighty dollars. They're on their way. It's been two days, or three days, no, two days, and it's $780. And yeah, I don't think there's a big overwhelming.

Why are you feeling sad? I mean, just whack China. Like just let it go. Listen, I can't believe she makes $20 million in a week. Yeah, seriously. You know why? Because she lives up the street from her office. Yeah.

She lives in my neighborhood. I think she just, like, what are you doing making 20 million? But also, like, do that. Like, show your feet, get on the only feet, do all that. Like, leave these, leave, it's not happening. You can't, like, beg for your e-show to come back. No, no one can. We've tried.

No, okay, what? The girl that worked out perfectly justice there about to get out of their limo is when they got the news that their trial against black china that they all prevailed and every single card as she was at the netball and we're gonna i know people have talked about it we just want to get to the the juice of it which was Kim kim. Kim and the Marilyn Monroe dress, which there were rumors about it, so I did talk about that on Monday before we were confirmed that she was actually wearing it.

It was all about if she could fit in it, I was with Jill's there on last night at Craig's. Okay. And her friend owned the dress. The friend sold it to Ripley's for $3 million. Wow. She showed me the dress in her friend's house from like a couple years ago. And then she, it's so Kim borrowed it from Ripley's.

Yes. So she drove down Hollywood in Highland and went into that gross building with the T-Rex coming out of it. I think she went to one on the East Coast. Okay. And now it will be in the one in Hollywood with the accessories that she chose to wear for it.

And can I make a petition to get this dress out of Ripley's believe it or not and put it in the Academy of Motion Pictures where it belongs? Like even though it wasn't in a movie? Well Ripley's bought it though. The woman bought it. She was a collector of Melbur, Bilia. She sold it for three million because it just didn't fit in her house anymore

uh... so it's like whoever buys it yeah i guess i want to buy it from rippley's fine so the whole thing what she said i i you know obviously we can't alter it because it's iconic and you know whatever historic so she lost 16 pounds

in three weeks yeah hasn't had carbs or sugar and it's a great great to be able to zip it up influence and because if you see the back of Marilyn Monroe Marilyn was taller than her and you know had a curvy body but a different definitely a different ass we're seeing the back of her ass didn't have the same surgeons either so and okay yes and so she wore this fur around her so a lot of people suspected it probably didn't zip up the back and the fur was covering it I also noticed when she turned around in the front with the videos that were shared trying it on with Pete Davidson I noticed that the waist wasn't as nipped in as when she went out so I shot yes since then so I thought maybe she had like one of those clips that you do when you're trying like

a wedding dress in the back. And that's what the fur was covering. But now it's been revealed, thanks to Buzzfeed news, that she didn't, wasn't able to zip it up the butt. She kind of tied it with a little string that cinched in the waist and kept it together. Then when she went up the stairs, then she had a replica dress that she could wear more comfortably that fit her for the rest of the ball. Who doesn't have a replica dress? Also, I think she ripped it. She ripped the dress because Marilyn Monroe was sewn into this dress.

Oh, okay. Did you know that? Yeah. She was sewn in. This woman was not. Yeah. So she tried to put it on and ripped the stress. So they didn't say they ripped it. No, they just didn't zip it. It just came out today. Oh, because it was so, and there was never a zipper. There was never a zipper. Got it.

Okay, well, whatever. I mean, it also worked out. Yeah. The amount of looks that happened at the Mechalla. There were so many that I was like, oh, this is gorgeous. This is beautiful. This was completely overshadowed. Yes. Yes, we get it. This overshadowed. I was like, oh, this is gorgeous, this is beautiful. This was completely overshadowed.

Yes. Yes, we get it. This overshadowed, I was like, oh, had we not known that this was Marilyn Monroe's dress? No one would have given a shit. Right. It looks good.

It looks like skims. I think the hair, why would you do that to your hair only to pull it back? If you want to give a full homage to Marilyn Monroe, give us the Marilyn Monroe hair. You know know Chris gave us Jackie O'Nass' I think which you know not gilded glamour right right but like American history I guess yeah American history was not the theme right and also the old glamour was the theme you missed the mark him oh sorry she did she missed they all did did well well they all did okay. I not guilty glamor. I'm sorry. I

Thought listen, they did not understood the assignment. I don't care about the fucking assignment of this netball. I I'm over as someone who gladly took her costume back from the Bridgerton experience. You did not give a shit I was like I'll just have a hold it for one more day One day more. I know is if I ever just have L hold it for one more day. One day more. Oh, I know. If I ever get invited to the Met Ball, I will have like an ostrich on the top of my head. Good.

If I'm going to go to this thing, I want to be talked about. For sure. And if you just come looking kind of pretty, you might not get any love because someone will do something really big and iconic and that happens to be Kim Kardashian. So I do think this is the best Kim ever looked. I did, I did disagree with you. I thought dying the blonde hair, which I was like, did you dye your hair just spray? I thought she shaved her hair.

I thought maybe she just sprayed it blonde because it is so not good for your hair, but she has gone blonde in the past and maybe she wants a blonde summer. I don't know. I kind of thought it was a unique way to go versus a big wig or something going as Marilyn, like she wasn't going as Marilyn, but you're doing a little something different. Okay. So, um, that, so I was down for it and then, um, but, but she's getting criticism by people like Lily Reinhardt who said like, oh my God, you know, it's not cool that she starved herself. Well, she didn't say she starved herself.

She says I haven't had carbs or... She didn't say I'm starving on the carpet. I also kind of like that honesty. I'm so starving. You know, like, hey, this was like a challenge and it was hard at the same time. You know what? Marilyn Monroe and Jackie O had fucked up diets too.

Like my mom would take me in a cart, some weird house insurance oaks for some secret doctor to give her a shot in the ass, that all her friends were getting. I don't think that was FDA-proofed. And I, whenever she had an event, it was grape fruits and hard boiled eggs and black coffee. And so like, listen, if anything our generation is healthier, Whenever she had an event, it was great fruits and hard boiled eggs and black coffee. Yes.

And so, like, listen, if anything, our generation is healthier. At least she was eating drinking juices and stuff. She was just refraining from sugar and whatever. And she's being honest about it. But here's the thing that, like, I think is so kind of hypocritical and where we're at now. Do you remember, like, a couple years ago when that like cayenne peppered lemon juice? That was the thing.

Yeah, yeah. And then it was like, oh, everyone's like, oh yeah, it's just a cleanse. We're cleansing. Cleansing was so big. Right. I wanna like shed some water weight. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

I get exactly what you're saying. It's like, if she wants to lose 16 pounds in three weeks' letter, because is it she just being body positive for herself? Right. Yeah. Because I think the definition of body positivity has turned into like, oh, well, how dare she did it, did it, did it, did it.

Yeah. I feel like if you were a woman of a certain age, you know, obviously, if you're not living with your parents, yeah. If you're like, you know, this is what I wanna do. Oh, I'm gonna be seen by the world in this dress. I want to make sure I look good. I want to make sure everything fits right.

Then yes. Well, what am I? But you can't be Lily Ryan Hart who, and she's on Riverdale. I know. But you can't be Lily Ryan Hart and be like, I think it's awful that she did. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.

It's like, well, you're not her. Well, I remember. I heard an interview with Matthew McConaughey and with Joe Rogan and Joe Rogan was really intrigued how he got so thin for the, what was the, where he played the AIDS. Oh, Dallas Spire's Club? Yeah. And he said, you know, he's described

the little bit of food what he ate. Yeah. But part of it was also drinking as much red wine as he wanted or something. Like that, and he was like, wow, that's interesting. Like it's just a weird thing. Everyone lived after people of gain weight for parts and lost weight for parts.

And like, so to her, this is like the biggest night of her life. But I did find it interesting. Like where was the J-Lo, where was the Beyonce, where was the A-Listers, and I don't think it's because their invitation got lost in the mail. I think maybe because people are like, you know what, it's, I'm not gonna get the most press from it anymore, it's gonna be the five Kardashians,

so I don't feel like putting the hamburger bun on her whatever. Did Katie Perry go? She did go and no one really cared. I mean, go as a hamburger next time. Also it was like we had some TikTokers that Addison Ray was there and she was doing this. She was posing like this with her hands up doing. Yeah. It was so bizarre. I was like, uh, uh, uh, Vanessa Hudgens looks great. But you know, I think like in defense of, uh, Blake lightly shut it down and she was like the first one there. Like I, that's what I thought was amazing.

She was gorgeous and, but I'm just saying like, you know, but then you got to think about it. Anna winner, Winter. If you want, Anna, Anna, Anna went tour. If you want to bring eyes on Vogue and you want to get new Instagram followers,

which is way more important than someone buying the eight dollar magazine, you gotta get the people that are hot and up and coming and that is probably not the 55-year-old Ailes actress that attended 10 years ago. Yeah. So that's that, like the times of a change. And that's what kind of bugged me because like,

you know, Jessica Chastain was there who just won the Academy Award there was like I mean there were Stars and legends there. I'm trying to think like Christine Baransky was there Glenn Close was there and then I honestly just think like we're in such Kardashian overload. I mean, I have to have a break. I have to have, I need a juice cleanse from the Kardashians every day too.

Well, I am gonna move on, but I have a couple more things to say about the topic. But I mean, I could see someone like a Marl Street going forward or whoever or some of these people that just go, I don't need to go next year. Yeah. You know, and also like what the money goes towards like another museum or something like I was talking to Carol Radswell because I was like, Hey, has any housewife, I was with

Jill Zairn last night at Craig's get to that minute. And I was like, has any housewife ever been invited to the Met Ball? And I said, I bet Carol Radswell had. So I texted her and I said, have you ever gone? And she goes, yeah, like 2004, 2005, yes, I went. You know, she's in that world and everything. And we were talking, she's like, it should go to something,

the money could go to something different at this point that I think would like peak people's interest, mental health something. Yeah. And I thought that was a great idea, like change it up a little to maybe intrigue some of the people that might want to come back and make it, because I mean, I'm kind of like,

okay, so let's go ahead and- Well, I was gonna say before, I was just gonna say, it just looked exhausting. Like, you know, Courtney was her first time being- Oh, I have Courtney. Wait, let me go to Courtney. So Courtney goes with her fiancee, Travis, and it was just the worst outfit ever.

The worst outfit ever. And the most unflattering, it was most, it basically looked like she had an ACE bandage around her. I was like, is this like a botched hospital thing? Like in the 1800s, it wasn't like good hospital care. So like I was like, oh, is she showing like someone that didn't get good medical care after they worked in a factory during the last week?

You're having no pain. Okay. That's what it looks like, just like some girl. But I guess it was supposed to be like, they're so entwined that it was half of his outfit in hers. And so that wasn't great. Shut up. Chloe, I mean, kind of a similar outfit to Kim, actually.

That's what I was gonna say. I was like, this is like, this did nothing. Your first time coming and you dress like your sister. But she still looked really pretty. I don't understand. Kendall did the thing I hate. Bye, bros. I blind eyebrows, always hated it.

And she had full nipsy through, so that was fun. Of course, okay. And then this turned. And then Kylie did a wedding dress by off white and then did a base but backwards baseball hat with a veil so it's like supposed to be I guess like the American bride that also in a baseball is that you know what's more American than baseball right I it was like I didn't know it was I thought oh is this a hint that's exactly talk's getting married soon yes uh... that's what i was like i'm like what's the message what do i have to

decode now they i mean they didn't look great no okay but then chris this was the prettiest she's ever looked to see great she always wears black and she wore this beautiful yellow with a white glove and her hair was like maybe added some hair or a wig or something so she had the jet and she was supposed to be Jackio and Kim was supposed to be Maryland. So anyway, go I walk out from the craigs, which everybody goes to craigs like people like me, thirsty bitches because sometimes you might be stopped by TMZ. Okay, you'll have to come with me next time. Oh please, Ken. I'll

be at Olivetta down the street, which I love, that's my favorite. And I did get stopped. You got stopped by TMZ? Yes, and they asked me all about this. I was so excited as I went to bed, just imagining what the TMZ will just the most, just flooded with Heather McDonald content.

And then of course Dave Schipel gets attacked on stage. So I don't even know if this will make the bottom of the barrel stories i don't know what they ask you they ask we what did i think of their you know of them what being merlin and and and jackie o and i said all you mean that they want us to live in who fucked the same man uh... well and then they said do you think that came will marry uh... pete

and i said uh... or do you think that Kim will marry Pete? And I said, or do you think it's real or something? I said, I definitely think it's a real relationship. I definitely think they're into each other for sure. I don't know if they'll get married. But then today, I started to think about it. Today? So the point is?

That's the last night. No, I thought, you know what? Now I think there could be a chance. I think she's one of those women, and I've said this before, I think that she sees herself as someone having many different loves in her life. And I don't think she necessarily maybe sees like marriage forever, like marriage for a time

or marriage to have kids. Okay, so I have a crazy prediction. Oh God, here we go. Cue the mystic sound effects. I think she could marry Pete, because he's ever been married before. So no matter who he marries after they get divorced, she was still his first wife, which is kind of a coup.

And then you guys are gonna lose your minds. I could see in like four to five years, she remarries Kanye. I could see in like four to five years, she remarries Kanye. Just because Liz and Dick got remarried and there could be something there and there could be a place where it's like, oh my God, and then people would just go crazy that she got together with the father over kids.

Last thing, will they have a kid? She and Pete, okay? And I, you know, her last two kids were through surrogate. So I am not, I don't know if she has more embryos saved with Kanye, but I'm thinking she's so smart that she probably also put away just the single eggs that she could match with anybody else. But honestly, I don't think she wants to have any more kids. I disagree. I think, do you remember that movie, Alien, where there's the queen with the weird long head?

I think that's Kim, and then she's looking over, and she's got all of her eggs just like laid out, and she's just like squirting more out, just like waiting for suitors to come. So you, so your prediction will be that sheet and Pete will have a surrogate care there, baby? Probably, I mean, he's already tattooing like his kids, her kids on his neck.

So I was, I was asking, I was asking that too, as I was walking to my car. It wasn't he supposed to get them all removed? And he got a neck one, which was always always the thing like stop doing it so that the makeup artist at s and l i don't think he's ever going to have to get a score back in there anyway so he act you got him and then all the initials of the kids so uh... which is weird that very small

but st and but anyway so this guy goes don't you think one of the reporters for tomzie that that's like, you know Very disrespectful to Kanye whatever to think they're moving fast and I'm like listen Someone that has that many tattoos. I don't think you should be overly flattered right if we can you know If he's tattooing something because he's gotten a lot of other girlfriends tattooed to him But as far as Kanye goes once you're divorced from your From the other one you cannot control who they date

or what that person does. Providing they're not, you know, a pedophile, you know, there's nothing you can do. If you didn't stay together, you can't be mad that your husband is dating an only fans girl or that your wife is dating Pete Davidson. You can't, you just can't say anything about it. So that's what I think, but I thought that that was the prettiest chris ever looked and I think she should wear wear more colors like this. Stop with the black blazer girl. Yeah. It's time to live your Palm Springs 1960s. Yes. Caff tan. I want to see her in prints and pinks and peaches and lime greens and avocado greens and all of it. Give me coastal grandmother. That's what I want.

Just someone who lives as a coastal grandmother this summer. That's what you identify as. Yes. Oh, because Hockerel summer was last year. Now it's coastal grandmother. Oh my, I'm down. I'm down for... All I make people with sparks hats and stuff. I'm down for... I'm down for... Coastal... ...with the two willows and... ...ranmother too. Um, Ray J spoke to, I think, Daily Mail and TMZ picked it up, again, where he is doubling down saying that yes, he did give Kanye some type of computer and hard drive, but it was nothing of them being intimate the material that they he says okay so he said

this is a truth behind the tape according to raje coming out today from tms he said kim and i i jokingly said to him oh my gosh we have you know video of us being together look what it did for paris something what if it got

out and you didn't think much of it. Then he was presented with the fact that they were going forward with this deal and it was going to be broken through vivid entertainment and it was going to look like it was like leaked, but he signed a contract and they both made money from this tape, okay? That is a fact. So he said there, there was like maybe extra unused material, but Kim always had it in a Nike box under her bed, like what you brought it to every bedroom, anyway. But the material, the scene that we see of Kanye presenting this material to her, this

computer, hard drive. I think it's like this old computer with a board that was that was that did happen he did give it to Kanye but it was not of them being intimate so that part was fabricated dramatic effect and you said that on that episode with Chris this week right but he just kind of clarified it more that that now in fact that there was he did give him stuff, but this stuff was not of them being intimate, sexually intimate. Oh, well, yeah.

But we knew that. Yeah. But this is, so this is just saying everything that we already knew for the past 20 years, that this sex hape was concocted. Yes. All right, well, we knew it. You heard it first.

This was all set up and speaking of beauties and kaiya gerber city crofford's daughter she was there so there were a lot of x's there because she of course dated peat david said mhm and um... and anyways so she was there to beautiful and these are like doffel and love them so much now cindinnicrofford has dropped it gorgeous. Stunning. But I have biological boys and

one of my one of my boys looks a lot like me Drake but they're boys and I was like I wonder for women is it a little bit hard to see your clone walking around, looking like you this much. I mean, you got to love it because she's your daughter. But is it ever hard just because I had a neighbor and her daughter really look like her? And the daughter was blossoming. Like, there's a time in a young person's life, men and women, where every day, and it's only one time in your life, where every day you wake up and your body's getting better. The race is getting smaller, your tits are getting bigger, you're like, what the hell's going on?

It's only one time when you're like, never comes back, where you don't do anything and your body just gets better. So she's like, so I'm like, oh my gosh, you die with so much like you. She goes, yeah, you know the other day, I'm like, hi, can I have my body back? And I was like, that is so funny to me.

Like that must be weird for mother daughters or father sons that look that much like. Like when there are people that look like like. I was just going to mention Reese Witherspoon and the daughter. I have a photo here too. That is my main. That is my main. I mean, it's freaking. Now, if you really look at the daughter's face, you can see Ryan Philippine.

Ryan Philippine. Ryan Philippine and Reese, they look similar. Yes. But it just, it and Reese, they look similar. But it's crazy that they look that much alike. And I remember when Reese Witherspoon was doing after lately with me, and that's the time the daughter was only like eight or nine, or something, and I was like, your daughter looks so much like you.

And she goes, she does? Yes, she does Reese. But it's weird, I don't, I mean, granted my son as a boy, but when people say Drake looks just like me, like there was a time I posted a photo of me when I was 12 in cheerleading and my friend goes, I thought that was Drake in drag. Like, it's the same, but I like don't,

the only time I kind of saw it is when he started to have like a little mustache come through and it like triggered me because sometimes I have a little mustache come through. I'm like, oh that's not my face, that's not my face. Brandon looks like Peter. Yeah, that's a feel like. But it is kind of crazy.

So yeah, then. Oh yeah, these two. This was a really funny TikTok. So Olivia Jade was doing a TikTok about like what celebrity looks like. Oh right. Whatever the the apps that she it looks like somebody else and then they put her mom because they look they have the same face to. They look exactly the same. Yeah. And Lori Laughlin have the same face exactly. Speaking of babies that might look like him. Yeah post Malone. pregnant. I want full tattoos. Full tattoos on this baby. He has a long-term No, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. Like I when postman loan came out I was like oh God what is this? And then you see videos of him like meeting like autistic children You see him dancing to Shania Twain like Tar lives in Utah he's Just like him And like all caps I'm having a kid. He's gonna be a great dad

Yeah, and I don't know who this woman is, but I mean, she's a lucky bitch. I hope that he is there with her to deal with her post-partum depression. You are on it! Just what do you think? We've heard all that we can, Justin just brings out the puns, the connections,

the callbacks, like, like that now this is sad oh god I'm a Baldwin I'm a Baldwin uh-huh who is Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger Oscar winner um gorgeous mother uh she is their only child together and we saw her like on his roast and she's very pretty in this she has red hair, but she's been born before. Very pretty girl. Was she the one that he called the pig? Yes. Got it.

So the famous, oh my god. So the famous, you know, audio is which Kim, I guess, gave to a attorney when they were in custody battle. I think Ireland was about 13 years old. And what I always gathered was, as a 13 year old does, either didn't call her dad, or she blew off her dad for their, you know, weekend together, something like that. And he has a temper as we know.

Well, yeah. And he left a voicemail message to her, the daughter, who was only 13th time, calling her, you're a little pig, disrespectful, awful. And it was the little pig thing. And it was really awful. And it went around and chiebbing joked about it at the roast and everything.

And she's defended her stepmothers, fake Spanish accent, Hilaria. And you know, been like, she's the sweetest woman on the Y people, our mean, just because she wants to, you know, identify like, she's the sweetest woman. I don't know why people are mean, just because she wants to, you know, identify as a complete different race and get on magazine covers and pretend to not know the word cucumber. She still is a nice step mother to me.

So she's a good daughter, okay? However, she did, really, so there was one of those TikToks where someone's like, tell me the meanest thing someone's ever said to you, whatever. And then you do add it to yourself and then you say your thing. And it is absolutely terrible sitting there. And she just is listing in short clips of all the awful things boyfriends have said to her. Many weight related, like is that what you're going to order?

All order this. She'll have a salad. I'm gonna bash your teeth in. I'm just off of physical, mean, awful things. Of guys that she has dated. Can your dad get me an audition for SNL? I always really wanted to fuck your mom. She's hotter than you.

I mean, awful. So I mean, I just wanna say people, you know what, I don't treat your kid not right and it will affect them later. Yeah, I was like this is like, P.T. is T for her, sure. This is just classic, like, you're watching this. Why, you're so pretty, why are you dating

all these awful guys that wanna kick you like kick you where you heard, like that you're not a size zero and she's stunning but like obviously she's choosing guys that know how to be awful and are awful to her why well when you when you have a dad that was probably does he love you yes was he not a great parent I'm sorry I don't think he was a great parent And I think this is the evidence and I think it's sad that this is there's a part this is the part two Like that like there was a part like one like and now here's the part two of like more awful things And also if your daughter's being bullied

By men be the father and step in and stand up for your daughter. I think Well, he's a little... As a mother, nevermind. But true, what can... I mean, he... Listen, I don't know how close they are on a daily basis. She is an adult. He is his seventh kid on the way. Yeah.

So I think it's... Seventh or eighth kid, I think. No, she is... Seventh on the way. Seventh, so it's... It's Calaria's sixth child on the way. And he's facing these charges and everything, but I don't doubt that he loves Ireland

and this probably breaks his heart, but just know that, and also celebrity parents too, that your mom's hot and I wanna screw you in. Your mom and like, I'm hot. I mean, it's Kim Basinger. It's like, my god, LA Confidential was like the best she's ever looked.

Listen, you know. No whole world, I take it back. I know, it's hard. You know, I know it's hard for my boys having a hot mom. Sometimes they've, people, the kids of T's my son, your mom's hot, you know? I'm like, I mean, when you're on the boat. It's and like that boat drove by us and they're like yeah yeah hey hot what

didn't we get like then you get cat called and you're like I'll just leave me alone I'm a person like I know I think there's just a juicy scoop or the other but whatever we pretend that it was guys like jacking off to me not on their boat not jerking off on their boat. Not sure if it's going to be off on their boat Heather. Come on. Anyway. It's Mother's Day. It's just being me sad because I'm like, you have like, it's Mother's Day right? Mother's Day is right around the corner. You know what? I know, it's terrible. But you know, also like the stuff about like, you know,

can your mom get me on SNL? I'm just like, I'm just worried that our like girls gonna pretend to like my sons because they want to try to get on juicy scoop. I have people do that. You have what? Yeah, I have people be like, hey, this is like, can you, you should talk to this person so I can get out juicy scoop

And I'm like, oh do not come for my gig Get out of here. Oh my god. I know see you're like a hot you're like a hot commodity this and young girls You can pretend to like my sons just to get to me. I don't really care. You know what I'm gonna do nice to them Don't yes, I was I'm gonna, I'm gonna take this Ireland Baldwin story. Yeah. And I'm gonna do a TikTok of all the meanest comments that I've received from juicy school. Okay.

Like, in the comment section, and I'll play that TikTok song that, what a, that sad like Justin Bieber song or whatever. I mean, one of the, you did say something traumatic happened the last time you were here in a mean comment about your friend. Oh yeah, like a pimple or something and it was like, oh my gosh. It's called a plus one. Yeah, plus one. They were like, pop the zit already and then someone replied like, seriously, I'm so over

it and I'm just like, okay, well, I'm sorry. Sorry that, you know. And I want to apologize, okay, well, I'm sorry. Sorry that, you know, I want to apologize to people watching this. I don't currently have the budget for a makeup artist or an esthetician to pop people's skin or give Botox before we go on. But that is a goal and I'm secreting it. And the Met Gala funds will next year come to the juicy scoop foundation to help us get a makeup artist. Yes. They can only do so much.

So you don't suffer from post-traumatic stress of mean YouTube comments. Getting bullied. Anyway, Ireland, you're beautiful and please stop dating awful people. Yes, seriously. Okay. Let's get into the Johnny Depp latest. So Annie's going to look up the latest while I talk, but what has come down is Amber Herd has now taken the stand, and I got to see a little before we recorded.

And the first person that went before her, so her side is now presenting, and was a psychiatrist for her, who said she absolutely, absolutely suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder based on her relationship with Johnny Depp in being in like, I forgot the words that she used. So that differs from the psychiatrist or psychologist that Johnny Depp's team interviewed her for 12 hours, said she was histrionic, had personality disorder, but did not suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder of a domestic violence victim.

Of course, he's saying, I never touched her. She's saying he did, that's what this is about. And so she's on the stand. And from what I saw, the attorney's asking about her auditioning for room diary and working on Room Diary and that is where she met Johnny Depp and More that story okay, so anyway Basically what I call a little of is she was talking about how there was seem to be

some inappropriate flirting going on between the more powerful star Johnny Depp and herself. And she was wearing some robe and she had these like old-fashioned undergarments on and he took his foot, his boot and he kicked it up and he was like, mmm yummy, yummy or something. So he was flirting with her. And so we're setting the stage for this power dynamic that started not only with, see the bigger star and the more powerful star in the richer star and being a man, but also 25 years or whatever it is,

older than she, and it started right from the moment that they met and started working together. Which is an interesting establishment. Like, I don't necessarily doubt it, but who cares? I don't think. You know, like, okay. But it's setting the stage that that's why. Like, I've been groomed that kind of a thing.

Exactly, yeah. And I think it's just, what, in Johnny's defense, he could say, oh, I didn't say, yum, I said, rum. said rum like rum diaries that's the movie we're on like what I don't think no no no no I'm just like rum I yeah I don't know I'm still so I'm still and Elon Musk is her ex boyfriend as well and he's saying that this is like a million dollars going into this I don't think no I think, no, no, I think you give a million dollar donations to charities, but in Amber's name. Oh, got it.

Well, I don't think, I think once she fired her whole, what was that legal defense? I just think it's weird. Didn't she fire her legal defense? No, she has her legal defense, but she's hired a new PR. PR, you're right, sorry.

Yeah. So she's hired her whole PR people. I just think, I feel bad her her she's already been cut out of Aquaman 2, you know, I think I know I just think she's really shit the bad on this one There's no coming back. I don't care. I don't think anyone's gonna be like, I need another Amber Heard movie. I don't know. I'm not like, oh Amber Heard, one of the greatest actresses of our time. I don't know. Or people are gonna think she's a good actress because they won't believe anything she says on the stand. So I hate to pens or vice versa. So what does it say anything else that's happening?

Just just telling that story. He made her feel seen. He made her feel seen. Yeah, this is it. Yeah, you made you were seen in a movie. So I think she's going to establish that he pursued her in a power dynamic and then once he got her and once she said yes to marriage, everything changed. And then she was, you know, beholden to him and trapped in this awful domestic violent and verbally abusive relationship. And-

Like she was getting in and saying- That's what she was getting in and saying. Until she got married. Right. Yes. Which people have said that. They've said like, you know, from the, you know, from the moment once he married me, that was it, you know, like it was totally different.

That is a true thing. So we'll see, you know, people may, very, it looks like most people are very pro, Johnny Depp, it's just gonna come down to do you believe because the allegations that she said in the last trial that he lost with the son, where the son sent his wife, beat her, so then they did a whole trial or he was su the sun, where the sun sent these a wife, beat her. So then they did a whole trial where he was suing them

for defamation. And they said, we believe you are a wife, beat her for these reasons. So we already, people already are privated what her claims are. There is one extremely horrible act that she says happened. That was violent and like sexual assault and everything.

Which of course he denies and I don't know if there's any proof of that. But I think she's gonna end up telling that story and it'll be interesting how people react. Yeah, that will be good. Because it'll be pretty devastating. Okay, moving on. Brian Laudrie's parents, this was remember Gabby Petito. They went on the camping trip. She went missing. He came back, never told anybody that she wasn't with them. The parents found out. They suffered this whole time. His parents, Brian's parents, were not sharing anything. Anyway, so Gabby's parents found out that she was killed, they realized, then Brian went missing, he killed himself and it was concluded that he in fact had was the one responsible for

her death. She was strangled and it was him. So the whole thing is did the parents know? Yes. They were so uncooperative. Right. This is what's weird. So they're suing the parents. That's not the weird part. But they're only suing for $30,000. Oh no. Why? I don't know. I find that so bizarre. And if I was the parents of Brian, I mean, I understand if it was $3 million, I'd be

like, okay, let me try to fight this. But if it was this, I'd be like please here's the thirty thousand dollars i'm i just want us to both try to kill you lost it out our i lost i mean i don't you know what they did was wrong with the same like i just don't know i've never wouldn't i don't know what parents do in that situation throughout time people have protected loved ones that have done heinous crimes

what they did was completely wrong to make them wonder and all the stuff and they went on vacation with him and so they're saying when they went on vacation with him they must have known then yes you need to up the anne on that because also i have not forgotten that

there's drone footage of brian's mother and father in the backyard. Do you remember this? Where people thought he was living underground and he would be living. And coming out of the flower bed, yes. It was like a take something and then they realized that the drone's looking at them and they go inside. That was a crazy video. That was whack. That was weird. I 100% think they knew. They completely knew. I just think it was just so cruel that like you know they were all calling the parents everything like

We haven't heard from Gabby. Have you heard from Brian and they literally weren't even calling them back? Uh-huh. So they were freaking out. Yeah. They absolutely acted wrongly and the whole thing is horrible tragedy. I think the whole family knew I think he told his parents like there's no way I'm getting out of this alive. I'm accepting my fate I'm you know take this I'm taking this to my grave. I love you both, but I have to go See you later and that was it to protect his family as well to protect the mother and father so It made them look like they didn't know. So now all they can do and really do is unless there's like a what's what's with a lie detector test, you know, a polygraph test, they can just be like, yeah, we didn't know we had no idea.

Well, I mean, they're not up for criminal charges. I don't think so it's just like, but I just don't understand why it's so little. I know. It's weird. Why isn't there a attorney asking for more? But I will say that this weekend, white so little. I know. It's weird. We will never heard. Why isn't there a attorney asking for more? But I will say that this weekend, our little Annie, same age as Gabby Petito, is going with a relatively new boyfriend. Oh, really? Where?

Who I know? Who I know. I know him. So Peter and I are wondering if you should put an air tag on her? Yes, get it. iPhone air tag. And just like put it in like you know like inner backpacker setting or us, I don't know, maybe the back of her neck.

I don't know how you tap an air, like a necklace. Yeah, a necklace. Like a charm. Yeah, like a cute charm. And he can't listen to this episode. So he like, we give him the, you know, this is what we're doing. We're protecting our little Annie darling. Or we don't see you do a tracker, you know, but I mean, listen.

You better come back. It is a shorter weekend than what they were doing. I do think being in a van for, you know, months on end or however long it was is a little long to be with a love. Yeah, I think if you're in a van for more than a week, like, maybe it's time to break up. Yeah, it's something to be concerned about. Yeah. You know, there you go.

Like, I don't want to do this like, what was that, that Francis McDormand movie? Oh, that was so depressing. What was it? Land, something land? I don't know. It was so depressing. It just went around to like.

No mad land. Yeah. Oh, god. No, no, thanks. James Cames cordon as you know I haven't talked about this yet he is leaving the late late show um I don't know who watches that show but everyone's heard of carpool karaoke and the crosswalk musicals and um he just said you know I mean think about it for a while and I think there's one more chapter left in my life and well that's optimistic.

Well, like one more big entertainment thing that I want to do, that if I continue to like sign the next seven years up, I might miss that time to do something else. So people are wondering what they'll do, who will replace them, people that they've talked about that I've heard are Annie Cohen and also Kate McKinnon who else was there. What I say there was another woman they were talking about anyway. Leslie Jones. No, but she's screaming everybody.

I don't know. I mean the thing is about this show is it, it's called the late late show. It's very late. It's very late. It would keep, Leslie would keep people a little bit. And I know people will, I know they'll be like a push to it should be a woman. Yeah. But I'm going to say as someone that knows everything, a lot of women don't stay up as late as men. Yeah. We're mothers. Coastal grandmothers. We're mothers.

In bed by nine. I definitely think it's not like not giving a woman chance, but if I was going to want to ensure that this time slot soared, I would probably try to find another guy. Yeah. I really would. That guys that are like single or have maybe unconventional jobs

that would naturally stay up that late would watch. I'm available. I'm available. Yeah, that's what you're saying. That's what I would say. I would do it. You know what's crazy about this? Yeah.

He said in a statement that this was the most difficult decision he's ever made. And it came out that he turned down $50 million to go on with the show. Isn't that crazy? God, that next chapter better be fucking great. It better be not wicked. Don't be in the wicked movie, but $50 million

is turned out. I guess he wants to play something that isn't this goofy guy. I'm hopeful. I mean, I'm like, who cares about playing anything anymore? 50 million is pretty nice. wants to play something that isn't this goofy guy. Hopefully, I mean, I'm like, who cares about playing anything anymore? 50 million is 30 million dollars. 30 million dollars is 50 million dollars. It's like, yeah.

He's married and has kids, right? Yes. I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know he acts extremely not straight, but apparently he is. I'm just saying, like, I'm saying the obvious. Why? Because he was in cats, is that why? Because he sings and he dances and dances.

I know, it is where he's just like, yeah, he just, you know, but I guess he absolutely loves Crush and Puss. Yeah. Daddy's shocked. Daddy is losing your mind right now. Yeah, he has a wife. Are you like Kelly Clarkson with Ryan Seacrest which you found out Ryan was straight?

Do you remember that clip? She's like, he's straight. Yeah, takes cordon is straight. And I mean, but yeah, $50 million. So I'm like, oh, like I've been watching recently, selling sunset I got into it. So now I'm watching these houses. And then like, you know, $50 million.

I'm like, oh my god. Like, oh, I couldn't, I couldn't turn down $50 million. And it's a late night show and you've got writers and staff. I don't know, it better, yes. Exactly this next chapter of the James Corden Journey better be worth it. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, I only watch the show when I'm doing stand-up on a Friday night

and I come home and it's like two a.m. And that's what I kind of see it. And it is is it's good. I mean, it's good interviews. I just, you know, that's what I'm saying. I'm just saying if you're going to because I remember when when like there was before James got it, like the rumor in our office was that Chelsea, they were considering Chelsea. And so we sort of were like, oh my god, what if she gets the show then we'll be on a CBS show? But I remember even thinking back then, like, well, the show wouldn't be Chelsea lately.

It couldn't be our same dorky jokes. And it's also like a showy. And like all that kind of stuff. So like, would, and would we even be featured? But would that be exciting? That it's like a prime time thing, but it is so late. Anyway, I don't really know how far, but there was definitely talks of like her

than they gave it to him. So. It is interesting because it's like, now he's gone, Ellen's taped her last show. Yeah. You know, Kelly Clarkson's now taking over Ellen's spot. Oh my God, if Chelsea does get this. No.

Nothing would surprise me. Nothing would surprise me. Nothing would surprise me. You know, but Sherry Shappard's taking over Wendy Williams for it. Yeah. I'm like, I can't wait for that. That's a good choice. Yeah, I think she's gonna kill it. But it is interesting.

Like, I'm not like a big, maybe, you know what? Can I make a juicy scoop prediction? Of course you can. You're welcome to do one. Yeah. He's going to end the show. Yeah. Can I make a juicy scoop prediction? Of course you can, you're welcome to do one. Yeah. He's going to end the show. Yeah. He's going to do some movies.

Okay. But he's going to do a stand up comedy tour. I think he's going to get back into stand up. I'm going to top that. Okay. It will. Wait, you're going to top me? I have to consent first.

Unfortunately for the people that want to go see this comedy tour, it is also going involved some singing. Oh yes, full cabaret. It's called Cabaret. Full cabaret. The Countess could never. It's going to be yes. And then he's going to.

I just want to have a little world. And then he's going to be tackled at the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah, I think I think that's what's going to happen. It's going to be like a singing dancing. Some of my famous friends show up. Yeah, I was going to say yes, yes, yes, yeah, wait, stop. I have a better prediction. It's happening. I know I know. I'm sorry to say this. He's going to have a residency in Vegas. He's going to have a resting Vegas. And he's going to be more than $50 million. More than $50 million. And he can live in an air-conditioned mansion in the desert.

Yep. And the stars and the people will come to him and it's fresh and it's different and he gets that an initial and more people will probably watch it. Yeah. Sitting live then what was watching in it 2am. It's happening. And he's doing, he's going to do a digital platform of Carpool Karaoke on the Vegas strip with whoever's in Vegas and do Vegas crosswalk garbage. Okay. You're welcome, everyone. Yep. Yep. Yep. Speaking of garbage, Teresa real housewives of New Jersey happened last night.

Okay. And I'm going to tell you the scenario and tell me what you think. So Teresa is divorced after coming back from prison, her husband divorced. She fell in love with the sky. Louis, she's engaged engaged she's planning her wedding and it has been made clear that she said i don't want my sister-in-law who also joined the show a year or two after her uh...

her which is her brothers wife who is that she said no she was a little bit more gorgeous gorgeous she looks like j.L.A. she's the best body, and she's like really a sweet person. Like nobody doesn't like her. Okay, so except for Teresa. So Teresa says,

I'm not gonna have Melissa as my bridesmaid. And most people said, who wants to be a bridesmaid at 40 anyway? It's fine. I at the time said, I'm sure she's only gonna have her four daughters who are like 14 to 22 or whatever. That makes sense. Just have your pretty daughters. Like, you know, well on the reunion, it got revealed that she's having Louis sisters

in it. So she's having her new sister-in-law's to-be of one year, so I only know them for one year, and screwing over Melissa, not having Melissa in it, which she's done for the last 20. So Melissa's just like, look, I didn't care when it was just your daughter's, but now I'm hurt that it's, you know, these girls that you just met. And we are your family, the parents have passed, like this is your only sibling, you know, my husband, your brother. And like, we are hurt, and I just don't get it you know what here's a thing

terisa net was always i think always jealous of Melissa yeah always mad that um... that they really mad that they got on the show to even though that's what made the show i don't think the show it still beyond today had her brother and sister-in-law hadn't joined because people love the actual shit and it's still beyond today had her brother and sister-in-law hadn't joined because people love the actual shit. And it's such an Italian talking shit about each other loyalty kind of thing that it's just abstracted in a bunch of young os. Yes.

But this was my favorite part of last night. So then she goes, Melissa goes, but you were my bridesmaid when I got married to your brother. And she goes, yeah, when I was eight and a half months pregnant, thanks a lot. And everybody's like, and so Annie goes, what do you mean was she supposed to wait till after you had the baby? She's like, yeah, I mean a good sister-in-law would do that. They would wait until after like, you know, I had the baby, like I look skinny and good. It's not about you. It's not about you. Exactly. It's not about you. Turn it down, then.

Oh, God, she's awful. I'm like, so you expected this girl to schedule her wedding. Yeah, around your pregnancy. And then, like, not just have the baby, but like, wait another six to seven months till you snatch. She gets a snatch again, which really takes a year. And I was just like, you know what, you just don't, you know, this is going to hurt

them and you want to hurt them. So you're not including them and you don't want her to shine because this way Melissa's a housewife too. So if Melissa was standing up there too, she would get some attention. That's all it is. What's the, what's the, I'm not, I don't really follow the, the Jersey housewives, but there was those clips that were going around of them on a girl's trip in Nashville. Yes. Where she's just throwing drinks. Well, yes, Theresa cleared a table of drinks at Margaret because she's like Margaret stop asking questions about Louis. So what that couple of his businesses have been investigated.

So what that a couple of his ex-fiance have claimed that he's not treated them well. It's all out there in the blogs and she blamed Margaret. It's just tossing drinks. And is this the one where Andy like loses his mind? Yes, he does. He does scream. Yeah, like it's just, yeah, he's just.

Just over it. Well, you know, it's just anyway. What do you think, Andy? It's a lot of overtocking, but it's just yeah, he's just just over it. Well, you know, it's just anyway. It's a lot of over talking, but it's pretty juicy. Yes. Well, Andy B. A. Brides made now that he just had a baby. I mean sure he'll be invited yeah he'll be there he'll be invited uh... and you know and like look but you know it it's good content like I'm sure they'll film it this is all great content for the show but I really don't think show or not especially if it's going to be filmed for the show she definitely know does not want gorgeous Melissa in there. But then, that says so much.

I know. Because we're not stupid. We know what's going on. It's just like, okay, so you're that girl now. Yes, exactly. So Teresa is the New Jersey version of New York's Ramona. Like, they've had their time. It's time for them to go.

No, oh, is she gonna go? I don't know. But Ramona would be like, you know what? You know what, Justin, I would always, if I had a beautiful sister-in-law, I absolutely, I support women. I'd want her to be an gorgeous dress. I mean, I of course would be the most gorgeous,

but you know what, I love my girlfriends, but girlfriends are hot. I think that she would share the stage with the girlfriends. But she would also fall off the stage because she'd be in shit face. She did remodeled did have a yes possibly you know i did have a uh... a power newil as every housewife does just uh... a year or two before you get divorced and it was for her seventeen year wedding anniversary because that's when people usually do a

very new all and uh... but she did not have brights for that i think she just had a brilliant i do think i mean i do think you know but that's a thing treesa wants a big thing she's Italian she should have just had her daughters or no one

it's a real fuck you to have louis sisters in it but the louis sisters probably are kissing their ass they've only known her for a year your friend of twenty years your your sister-in-law, there's history there. But the sister was, I mean Melissa was like, when you were away, that they always say away, or whatever, like they'd ever say present.

When you were away, who was helping getting your girls to dance class, who was taking care of your mother? Right, yeah. Like I've been here for 20 years, don't take that away from me. She's like, I actually talked to the girls, you didn't pick them up that many times. I'm like, oh, shut up.

Yes, she's a monster. Yeah. So that's where we are in that. She's an Italian monster. And as an Italian, I can say that. Real Housewives of Atlanta, you will enjoy this. Marlow is just aired. And Marlow is created a business.

Thank God. It's all of her designer clothes that she has collected over the years from the rich men that she has dated and whatever seeking arrangement that might have been. And I didn't know if you ever take in French. I have, I took a course, yes. Okay, so she called this Le Archive.

Which means. But it's wrong because their archive starts with an A. So you would have just had L apostrophe A. L apostrophe A. But anyway, this is what she's named her. This is not one person in planning this whole business where you can rent her clothes, she has worn. And the rental prices are, so you've heard about like rent

to run away, right? It's this big company that women do. It's a really good thing, especially for like sorority girls or you can rent a dress for maybe a hundred bucks that's worth like, you know, $800. Multiple people rent it, whatever. They send it to you. She's renting things that retail.

Oh no. At like $3,000 for $1,000 a day. Not a deal. Not a deal. No. This is not a deal. It's like the dumbest thing I've ever heard. La rip off is what it is.

It's not a let archive. Also, just do a consignment store. Just sell your register. I mean, my God. It was like, what are the things they were showing? One of the things was like retailed at whatever, $5,000. And it was like, $800 or no, no. Yeah, it was even more than that.

How much it was a day? It was ridiculous. Like, $1,400 a day to borrow this dress. Like, buy a dress. Buy a brand new dress. Yeah, buy a new dress and also do you have to be her size? Do you have to be like her? Yes.

That's the other thing. Like little candy is there, is like she's like, I'm like a petite person. I wouldn't be able to borrow her clothes. She's like a tall woman. Yeah, that's a weird and horrible idea. Wait, can you go back? Yeah.

Okay, it's following two people. Okay, cool. She's following two people. Okay, cool. She's following two people. Let archive. Really get it out there. Oh my God. Real Housewives of New York. Not sorry. Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip trailer is out and it's all the ex housewives and they all go to Dorenda's place. Who do we have? We have Brandy and Clanville, Nikki. Vicki. She's no.

Jill Saren, Fadra. Fadra, Durinda, Tamara. Tamara. What's her name again? Taylor. No, the other one that Eve. No, that's our name Eve. Oh, Eve from Atlanta.

Is that her? Is that her? But is her name Eve? Yes, she was on Eve. Eve. Oh, Eve from Atlanta. Is that her? Yeah, that is her. Yeah, but is her name Eve? Yeah, she was on a, yeah, Eve, Eve, Eve. Eveva. Eveva. Eveva. Eveva. Eveva. She was on a Marriott's next top model. Eveva. Eveva. And then. Eveva the Diva. Yes. Who the heck is that? She looks good. That's Taylor. That's Taylor. It looks different in this photo. She looks sad. Wow, this is a good one. I'm going to get on this one. Okay. I didn't watch the first one. This is a good one i'm gonna get on this one okay i didn't watch the first one

this is a good group and it's all about how vicki uh... is heartbroken because her boyfriend steve lodge brother of roger lodge of blind date roger lodgeer yes um... broke up with her right before she had to go film this and he is since already married a thirty seven-year-old woman he was sixty-three and you already met married a thirty-seven-year-old girl that he was apparently

saying while so she's devastated and d'Ariinda apparently is not very nice about it but i mean my god i don't care i just want to rinda just guzzling came crofford well uh... that's all I want. So what I have heard is yeah, that's a lot of-

Drunk to Rinda. To Rinda. Slurring. I made it nice. I cooked. I cleaned. Yes. You know what Vicki?

Nobody cares. No, I care. My husband, Richard Jive, he visited me as a red balloon. Your end blue manner. Yeah. What do we think's gonna happen? Is Brandy gonna make out with Taylor? Do we have gonna have like a three way with two of the girls?

The trailer is a lot of what we always see. Which is now is a lot of women over 50 flashing their tits, wrapping each other's tits, having some type of dildo party, pajamas, rolling, falling drunk, and then like yelling at a dinner. So I think we're it'll be good. I mean what else could we want? Speaking of more housewife news, Nini is suing Bravo and NBC Universal execs. And she claims, I've been blacklisted when you haven't worked in three years when all of a sudden you're working and sought after and suddenly you're not working it's being blacklisted

I haven't caused any problems on any set everybody I've ever worked with I had a good working relationship with except for this group of people so she filed a lawsuit saying that she was discriminated against and that I mean it's gonna be another black china thing like I was blackballed good luck trying to prove it first of all three years two of those years for coven there were not there wasn't a lot of working going on to the actors secondly you were on a show she was on the show ryan murphy um and you know if he doesn't want to hire you anymore will so how is that bravo's fault like she was on, what's that show?

The new normal, she was on Glee. I don't know. So he always calls the same people back. What's that one girl that's on every single Ryan Murphy thing? Sarah Paulson? Yes. Sorry, maybe you're not as delightful as Sarah Paulson. Yes, Sarah Paulson's an actress.

She's a Golden Globe winning actress. You already need a reason. What's the difference, Sarah Paulson's an actress. She's a Golden Globe winning actress. You already need these. What's the difference? Like, here's a thing. Right. As a writer on the critically acclaimed show Cupcake Wars. Yes. Sorry, celebrity Cupcake Wars.

She was on with Cynthia. Oh, do tell. Yeah, and so like. Made the better Cupcakes. So did they each have to make Cupcakes? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they had to make Cupcakes.

I had to write. Were they going against each other or their team? Yeah, they were team. Okay. Yeah, they were like team housewives or whatever. Okay, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, they had to make cupcakes. I had to write. Were they going against each other or their team? No, they were team. Okay. Yeah, they were like team housewives or whatever. Okay, yeah. Yeah, Cynthia was a delight, Neenie was just like not giving anyone the time of day.

So you can't say that you were like a delight to work with. So as someone who was on a set with Neenie, yeah. You are willing to be deposed to defend. Yeah, she was, I mean, I'm not gonna say like she was like a nightmare, but I mean like when everybody else is showing up on time and to say, Okay, let me ask you this,

as the attorney. We all had to like wait for Nini to show up and it was like, okay, you know what, what, what, what. I'm gonna be in a attorney. So I am defending NBC Universal, okay. So Mr. Verniel. Yes. So what do we Vernail. Yes. So, what'd be fair to say if you found yourself

in another writer's room and you're working on another type of game show, maybe it's a different type of cooking show. And they're looking at housewives to choose to be part of it. And the choice is Cynthia Bailey, Nene Leakes, Tamer Judge, and Jill Zaron. You can only pick three. Who would you pick? I will pick Jill. I will pick who is the

first one one Cynthia? Cynthia for sure. She was a pleasure to work with, having experienced with her. This is where it comes down to it. These last two women believe. Tamra or Nini? Tamra loves working out for the Lord. Yes.

And I appreciate that. She loves a bedazzled cross on her shirt. But she also has a professional attitude. I'm going to go with that. Okay. Amy, there's a lot of eye rolling. There was some name calling. I was slapped by her. No, I'm just kidding. No, but I guess I'm going to go with a camera on that one. And you know, that's a thing. Sometimes it's not that you No, but I guess I'm gonna go with Tamra on that one.

And you know, that's the thing. Sometimes it's not that you held up the set for an hour or it just can be like, I didn't enjoy that. That's the thing in this business. It's so personal. It's really not objective. It's very subjective and it really sometimes comes down to one person and that's why it's so hard to say that you were really blacklisted or whatever

Because it's like were you really or you know? Yeah, yeah, see the video of her walking through the I don't know exactly where it was either outside or was at an airport or someone And someone said can I get a picture? You're I'm like a big the biggest fan of yours and she slapped the guy's phone out of his hand and like his phone crashed on the floor and he called her the C word. Well, well. And I'm just like, you can't say like,

oh, I've been such a delight to everybody. It's like, girl, you know your place. You're a housewife. And you aren't Neenie Leaks. I mean, I'm not gonna say like she's a nobody. Like she is like one of the first iconic uh housewives of atlanta of the franchise right she was one of the first people she got to be on the show she's absolutely not what she left to go do all these other opportunities

they welcomed her back they paid her a lot and and then she's also saying like oh my spin-offs you know never took off because they're blackballing me. Like, maybe we don't want to spin off. We don't want to need any show. But the other girls on her franchise who were also women of color, like, you know, Porsche's had a spin-off.

Brandy has her coming out. Not Brandy. Candy. Candy has several. And, but I think everyone knows, Candy is super professional Working since she was like 15 hit songs actual Rezamei. Yeah, she creates the show she writes the shows she thinks of the shows like that's who you want to be in business with

I've seen here's what I'm gonna say another juicy scoop prediction. Oh, my god. Hopefully this this probably will never happen, okay, but Neenie reconciles with Kim. Okay. Don't be tardy for the party. Like, comes out with a new season where they go on the road with like a singing cabaret or something like that. Okay. I have a, I can double down on that, but in a satire version. Satter than Dobie Tarty for the party.

Because the network's not gonna give them another chance. Why? But they will be able to start their own podcast. Oh, they'll start their own podcast. Neenie and Kim, we're gonna go on the road. We're gonna take this on the road. We're gonna screw the networks, screw everybody. And it'll be a total disaster and they'll quit after like four and a half months you think so they're just gonna get tired of each other yeah and it's

just not gonna work out they don't know how to put a show together whatever mm-hmm but that's probably what's going to happen because they're both gonna just the first four episodes will be them just bitching about bravo people and everything and being like sore losers so if you guys are thinking of this Kimsel's a act who are I think she still has a podcast with her husband But her tarte for the party show is no longer on she had her own spin-off. Yes, and and I interviewed her and she was nice But then she got very mad at me that we filmed the YouTube thing and I put the clip on it Like it was like she came to do it and we had a video camera there. And I guess I never made it completely clear

or I never let her sign off on the clip. I thought she looked great. We put a little clip on Instagram and she sent me like a nasty message and I was like, all right, I'll take it down. I'm really sorry. I really thought it looked pretty, but you're right. I didn't totally clear it with you. So I apologize. So yeah, I'm just saying the two of them together, now they're both, you know, don't have a TV deal. They're going to go, let's do

our podcast shows. It's everyone makes $10 billion a year during a podcast. But it won't last. Yeah, maybe they're big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big great it might it would probably be very popular but I don't know if they both have such big ego that they won't they won't accept the fact that this is probably the most tangible next move that they can do versus suing and trope and a strong arm tearing each other apart to like give me another chance to be on this show yeah because you know Kim wants to run with don't be tardy for the podcast And you know that Neenie is gonna be call it like the bloop, you know Yeah, what's up? And Neenie's like favorite lines. Oh, don't close your life She always would say to Kim because Kim was I guess with a married man at one point Big pop of but then she fell in love with crying big pot and they made four kids and anyway she yeah she hers was close your legs to married men that's a

famous leony line my favorite is not a white fridge as someone with a white fridge sorry by the way I just saw a gorgeous kitchen white fridges are coming back I'm in they're coming, good. I love a good white fringe. You got one. But yes, I think they're going to start a podcast because everyone's doing podcasts, so you know. And our favorites. And it will be watching back the old shows together because there's enough and then when that runs out then they'll'll just start interviewing other people and whatever if they last that long.

And they're not last that long. They're cover art. I'm already calling the cover. Okay, okay. Oh, you guys can't see the genius, the genius of Justin Martin Gaill, instead of holding a peach and apple and orange Mm-hmm. They're just holding the microphone, but they're not holding it with their hand. No, they're holding it They're cupping it. They're cupping it like it's like it's yeah, I'm cupping it mm-hmm

Listen any of you ex housewives that worth even thinking about this idea. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. We already said it and now you can't do it. You can vent, Momy. You can either vent, Mom, Justin. I want 10%. Or now you have to change your cover.

Yes, exactly. Wow. Justin, you did not disappoint. No, what? Never. Never. You know, Justin, you are a tall strong man. And I appreciate that.

Uh-huh, thank you. If something goes down in Napa. At the crew egg, someone said I was saying it wrong. I think it's a crew egg winery. Uh-huh. I know that you could save me. Absolutely. Here will be there, but he will be pretty buzzed at that point.

Yeah. You can't depend on him. Evan will be there too. He's not doing anything. He's just going to look adorable as always. So no, oh, speaking of which, I have one more thing. OK. Where is it? Want to do a little update on this juicy story.

I don't know if you heard it, but it's kind of hot. OK. I'm here for hot. This woman was worked at the presence for 25 years. And she said she was taking this other prisoner who's not terrible looking. He was like John Ham. Yeah, oh my God. And he's also someone just let me know that he's six nine.

Oh, so he's got a big old dog. She said I'm taking taking into like this doctor something she put him in a car and left she also said i'm feeling i'm not going to come back for the rest of the day because i have a doctor's appointment and then they realized he was missing and so at first you know people thought oh my god is it has she been kidnapped by him

but pretty quickly most most people, especially someone like me, was like, no, they fell in love. They're fucking. She got divorced seven years ago, okay? And she sold her house two weeks ago for like 30, like 50,000 or something less than what it was appraised for, but because the person could pay her cash, $95,000 in cash. So she took that money, and then they... The city commission, it's be real.

They left the car, they show them leaving the car. They do have AK-15s. Is that a car? Sorry. You could tell I was not raised with guns or in Texas. Like an AK-15? I thought that sounded so not. An AR-15.

Okay, so I guess. Both assault weapons still, yes, deadly. So are those big long ones? Those are the ones that are like, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr like tons it's like it's like whatever he like mass shooting has okay yeah okay yeah yeah i don't know anything about it but we still have all the exclusive guns from us to everybody's right to bear our yes just don't get them near me i can't work a tv remote i should not be near a gun okay but anyway um she so they do have guns they are looking for them we know now clearly him and his six nine dong and her are a couple. That's his rat name too.

He also has a brother that no one's heard of for 10 years. We don't know if that brother's involved or is they're going to, he's helping them something. But their faces are everywhere. They're going to be caught soon what do we know what he's in jail for yes what so it it was murder but it wasn't like it wasn't like a planned out murder like he killed his girlfriend okay it was like he was doing a robbery and in the robbery he murdered some people well yeah six nine he's a giant shooting whatever so he's a bad guy He's a professional criminal and a convicted felon and people died. Yeah

But I don't trust I think That's something where if you're intradating prisoners It's the kind of thing that you could overlook like you got caught in gangs. You were raised bad You had a mean step dad You were stealing money and you panicked when someone came out from the door and you shot him and you didn't mean it. And you're the best looking correctional officer

I've ever seen and we're meant to be together. Let's just end. I think he's brainwashing. Let's just end on. His brainwashing. When you hit on me and I'm the correctional officer. We're just gonna end. So if you're a little like our improvs,

I'm saying this, we're ending on the improv. Yeah, but I think, okay, but I'm gonna take it from the perspective of you look like this woman with labyrinth hair. Yes. And I don't trust a woman without an upper lip. It's just, that's me. Okay, okay.

That weird like, like, so, okay, okay, okay. I'm just gonna, okay. Hey hot stuff, how you doing today? Roger, I don't know his name. Okay, can we just look up a stand real quick? Because I really want to get into this. Yeah. Okay, hold on. Keep it going.

And he was just stretching out before she goes out of a trip to you somebody. Yeah, she's doing her research. She's picking safe words. She's looking. We're like rest up. Just put a sharpie dot on your hands. So if anything happens, you can just show it to anyone. Yeah.

It's Vicky White and Vicky. Vicky. What an evil. C.K.I. C.K.Y. Ooh. C.K.I. C.K.Y. Ooh! I'm divorced. I'm divorced. I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself.

Okay, tell. I'm married a son of a bitch and thank God I got this job 25 years ago. And it's not easy. Not a lot of women succeed in the correctional facilities, but a, a demand a lot of respect, and I receive it. And I'm no bullshit, but I'm also one to bring cupcakes to my fellow, you know, correctional officers when it's their birthdays. What does this mean? Your KCY.

Okay, KCY. They happen to have the same last name, but no connection. It just happened to have worked out that way. That's weird. Okay, KCY. They happen to have the same last name but no connection. It just happened to have worked out that way. That's weird. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

You got five more minutes in here before you go back in the cell. Vicki. Yeah? You look radiant as always. Okay. See, stop. You're... I guess I colored my hair. Well, you know, I was

thinking how weird is it that we have the same last name. You know, if we just, I don't know, ran away together, you wouldn't have to change your name. And you're a woman who likes to receive things. and well, I'm a giver. You better step back right now before I have to change my underwear because I'm getting real wet. Casey, I don't know if I can take this anymore. I never told you this, a lot of women and a lot of inmates in here ask me how tall I am.

And it's the same number as my favorite position. I'm six nine. You mother fucker, you gotta stop flirting with me. I haven't even had this child for 25 years. I don't think there's love in my future, so don't even start to tease with me. On a scale from one to ten, my love for you is an AR-15. How do you know that I've got two AR-15s in my case but daddy was raised on them. I know. I could see that with that twinkle in your eyes you got there and the way your upper lip just does

not exist it just turns me on and I've been in here a long, long time. Okay, now it's the day of, the day before the escape. All right, move it, move it, people, Patrick. What is it, Vicki? I got it all set up. Yeah. I told him that I'm taking you to a doctor's point and I'll be escorting you.

Then we're gonna get my car, you're gonna fuck me so hard for me, behind. And then we're gonna leave the car in a place where I don't think there's surveillance cameras. And then you and I are gonna get my car, you're gonna fuck me so hard for the behind. And then we're gonna leave the car in a place where I don't think there's surveillance cameras. And then you and I are gonna go off and we are gonna leave the lap that we were meant to live on a beach in Mexico. I love that.

I love Cinco de Mayo and my... I just... You think they're in Mexico, yeah, for Cinco de Mayo? They are totally in Mexico for Cinco de Mayo. Oh my Mexico. Yeah, for single to my they are totally in Mexico for single to my oh my god. Yeah, and then he's gonna murder her and live there forever without her. Okay. I don't think he's gonna murder her. Okay.

Well, but she will call me old fashioned. She will catch him. She will catch him cheating. Oh, yeah. Honor with what he's six nine. You're going to execute Mexican girl. Mm-hmm. And she'll be so heartbroken and so pissed

that then she will tell the authorities and is like, even if I have to go to jail for a couple years, I want this son of a bitch to suffer for cheating on me. I think you're right. Justin, tell everybody how they can get more of you. Oh my gosh, please get more of me. Follow me on Instagram at Justin Martin Dale. You can follow me on my podcast,

which comes out every week called Just Saying with Justin Martin Dale. And I will be in Napa with you in June. I will also be in San Diego, headlining the comedy store in La Jolla, May 20th, the weekend of May 20th, so come see me there. What if you're gonna be in San Diego, headlining the comedy store in La Jolla, May 20th, the weekend of May 20th, so come see me there. What if you're gonna be in San Diego? It's gonna be a good one, yeah.

So yeah, I'm a little bit hurt. Love it, congrats. Yeah.