Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Diddy, Ashley Madison, J. Lo, Ben and Hacks with Guy Branum

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Guy Branum, comedian, actor, author and writer on HBO Max’s Hacks is here! Season 3 of Hacks is so hilarious and it’s because my guest and good friend, Guy was a writer and actor on it. It’s about a female stand-up comic in her golden years and I see my future. Diddy apologizes after a video of him physically abusing Cassie goes viral. J. Lo who used to date Diddy has not commented. Many are speculating on J. Lo and Ben’s marriage for a few reasons. We discuss the controversy over Harrison Butker's commencement speech. Magician David Copperfield can’t make his 16 accusations of sexual assault disappear. I went on the Ashley Madison website, so why was I not in the doc? Guy has scoop on Prince Harry. What is next for RHOBH? Gay animals got their own Peacock documentary. What is wrong with not living with your long-term partner? Sex and the City may have shaped women’s sexuality. Let’s talk about Jerry Seinfeld. What is conscious co-parenting? Laugh, learn and Enjoy!   Get 15% off OneSkin with the code JUICY at https://www.oneskin.co/#oneskinpod Go to https://Ro.Co/JUICYSCOOP - Sign up today and you’ll pay just $99 for your first month—and $145 a month after that. Medication costs are separate. Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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you heard about them. Please support Juicy Scoop and tell them we sent you. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop. I have a return favorite, one of my very good friends, actor, comedian, author of a novel, show runner, writer, Guy Branum. Welcome back. You are on a high from the third season of Hacks. One of my favorite shows, third season on HBO Max. You're a writer of it, but also appeared in an episode.

Yeah, it was really fun. I got to write on the third season. I was briefly in the first season, and I fell in love with the show. And then they asked me if I could come in for the third season. And it was really great, because I've spent my life writing for ladies a lot of the time, and getting

to take what I knew from having worked with Chelsea and Joan and you And you know allow that to help flesh out Deborah Vance Well for those of you that are not watching this if you're a juicy scooper, this is a treat It's only three seasons. You're going to absolutely love it. It is what my life could be in 20 years. And there's a couple great things that were in it. So I was so excited to have the boys watch it with me last night, because now they go on the road with me and they do the meet and greets and stuff.

And there's, she's doing a set, Debra, the comedian, who's like, I think she's playing about 70, but she looks fabulous, is doing a set. And she's on a wave of like, she just had this great special that she produced herself and sold the DVDs on QVC, which is also really funny because the only money I made on my first special was when I sold the DVDs after my shows,

and then eventually I stopped because no one has DVD players. But since her audience is older, she could sell the DVDs, which is so funny. Yes, and she understands the hustle. She has survived. She never had the industry, until this point in time, blowing her up and being excited about her

so she knows how to make things happen on her own. And it was really fun exploring that grit and thinking about the ways that the people that I had worked with had kind of like similar energy. So one of the scenes is I go, Drake, get back, because he was watching, but he went to the bathroom and I paused it because I'm like, you've got to see this one part. She comes out and there's some fans there. And she's like, oh, the cousins.

She has like probably two guys that follow her everywhere, right? And they're like, can you sign this? And it was this Jesus looking thing, but my face, well, her face on it, but I have one. And lots of people have done them for Housewives and stuff. And I was like, oh my God, I have these in my house for fans. And this was, now was this your idea to do this with the Etsy thing? So explain what happens in the show. So on the show, there are fans who are making stuff

that she has not authorized. She's very offended by the vote of candle because it's from two chins ago. And she has her chief of staff track down who's doing it. And I played the fan who was making them, and it all came back to, it started out because there were no, like, tour jackets in a size that would fit him. And I, it started out, Jen, one of the showrunners,

really wanted to do the thing with the candle and sort of, like, unauthorized merch, and then I, we were just sort of talking in the room the way that you do, and I started talking about the way that there's never clothes merch that fits me. Like at the end of every podcast or show, somebody tries to give me like a 2XL t-shirt, and I'm like, you're just giving me a task. Like you're just making me go out of the closet. And so I pitched the idea of it was somebody who started out

to make stuff for himself and then was meeting the needs of other people. And they were really, really cool about putting that into, Andrew Law put it in his episode. And then one of our other showrunners, Lucianne Yellow, she was directing the episode. And when I did it, we did it as Andrew wrote it a couple of times.

And then she was like, just say what you feel about this. And she let me do that, and what Andrew had written ended up working better, but it was just really nice to have a little something of truth, you know? For me, that people don't really talk about, that when you are a different size, you don't necessarily get to put on the shirt,

but also just the notion of, I think particularly millennial and Gen Z fans are so about taking their fandom and creating things with it, whether it's stories or images or headcanon, and we wanna just sort of celebrate that and also the role that middle-aged gay men had in building that world. And building and being the greatest fans. Yeah.

And loving it, loving that we're, you know, a female comic is so outspoken. And I think that's why there is a good connection between gay men and female comics. But also what I do love about my merch now is you just go on there and you can order whatever you want on the size, on demand. It takes a little longer. Like I don't have it go. But that was part of it because I was always like, wait, is this the style of my audience? I don't know what. And then of a certain style, you're like, well, that person is a huge fan, but they're

never going to buy anyone's merch. So I don't need to focus on those people, but you don't know, because everybody's different sizes. I loved all that. And I love her style. So I like wearing sparkly stuff on stage. But I bought this outfit. And about a year and a half ago, to wear on stage. And then Hacks came out and I was like,

I think this is too much Deborah Vance. And because she's like 20 years older than I am, but I'm like loving her outfits and I want to wear her sparkling pantsuit, but I feel like it's too much like Hacks. And I have such a struggle. I just talked about it with Rachel Feinstein about what to wear on stage.

But look, like, I look, I nipped it in the back. This is, somebody helped me make this into something. I think you, you love little shorts on stage, and I feel like that's very young. Yes. But also, like, are you coming to a point where you're like, I don't want to wear little shorts anymore?

Yeah, and then I was, I brought shorts with tights in Denver, and then I abandoned it all and went for white jeans and these Reebok shoes I got. Because I was like, if it's two shows, I can't wear the heels. If it's one show, I can wear a dress and heels. Passing out or fainting that one time, did it change the way you approach your outfit on stage?

No, not at all, because that had absolutely nothing to do with. It's more like if I do one show, I it change the way you approach like your outfit on stage? No, no, not at all, because that had like absolutely nothing to do with. It's more like if I do one show, I wear a heel. If I do two shows and two meet and greets, which isn't very often, then I feel like, and especially if it's two nights in a row, like I can kill my feet for one show and one meet and greet and then be chill the next day.

But if I'm doing four shows, four meet and greets within two days, I got it. To have a sensible, sensible brown pump like Britney Spears. Understanding how to approach that responsibly, it's just so hard that it's expected of women that if you are doing something serious, you have to put your feet through hell. It's really hard. And that is, I mean, one of the things I love about Deborah Vance is sort of like in any serious situation there is a heel and then the minute that is over, she is, you know, putting her feet in something warm and comfortable. Yes. It's funny because in the opening scene of the first episode of season three, it's just the back of her and she wears like this little hairpiece that's like fluffy. It looks great on her. She's so attractive. And it's the back of

her walking and Drake, he goes, wait a minute, mom, if she was doing this, wouldn't everybody be stopping her like they stop you and asking for autograph? And I was like, and I kind of knew what was coming. And I'm like, and then it was just a drag queen, all the drag queens for an opening. And I loved that, that they were all there. I didn't realize that, that was a gay guy. I don't think he's a real drag queen. That was a gay guy I had done a short film with. Fabulous.

Yes. So great, so fun. So it's on HBO Max and I love, I just love the whole journey of it. And also there's a part where they do a roast and Natasha Leggero was cast, which is great. I was, so I was originally assigned to write the roast. So I sort of tried, when I wrote the outline,

I tried to just put in as many of my friends as I could. And then it ended up getting switched around. And then Joe Mandy was sort of like, all right, let's swap out some of these names. But I got to write the episode. Our showrunners had learned that like Martin Short and Steve Martin like do this like collective colonoscopy thing.

This episode fourth, yeah, tell us about that. So it's based on a real thing where they and some other comics go and like spend the night drinking magnesium salts and then get their colonoscopies in the morning altogether. And then whoever has the cleanest bill of health buys dinner. And so that was my episode.

But it really got to there was a way that having worked for Chelsea and Joan and comics who, both of them, very successful. But I feel like, particularly, Chelsea didn't always feel like she was respected by our colleagues in the same way. She had a real sort of awe and respect for people like Jen Kirkman, who were very solidly in that UCB crowd.

And so it was interesting to take that and think. Well, I kind of was seeing it. I was like, I loved it. I didn't even realize you wrote that one until the end. But I was like, I knew you're a writer on the shows contributing throughout. But I was like, that is so true about a female comic. And I definitely felt it.

That like, some of the guys, some guys would be nice, but I never was part of that group either. And I always kind of was doing my own thing and you're not part of the cool club. And it's like when, you know, when, when Chelsea did leave E, she said, I want to sit at the cool people's table when she took her show to Netflix. Okay. So I'm like, but it's also just, so you see that Deborah like is like, oh my God, these great guys that were nice to me at events, but I've never really hung out with them are now inviting me to hang out. Well, and there's also that way that, like, you know,

when you are a woman or a person of color, like, the industry isn't, you can't bet that they're going to be there for you. So you have to survive, and you have to do the work, have the merch, you know, do things that are less respectable, where if you are one of the cool guys, you can just go beyond NPR and write books, and, you know know, like you can trust that the industry will be there for you. And also as a female comic, I've said this and other female comics are like, yeah, you're

right. I admit to that too. There's something where we see guys out there, especially straight men in the audience. And I've stepped away from it some, but I wanted to get that person's approval more than women or gay guys. I was like, did your straight husband find me funny that you had to drag here? Yes, he did. And I'm like, yes.

And I'm like, why do I care so much? But there's something about that because it's always women aren't funny and we have to convince the guys that we can be as funny. Women aren't going to a male comic being like, honey, you know I hate male standups. Like that never happens. I have had the experience, one time I was co-headlining with a guy

who was very archly misogynistic and like you could have an audience full of women who were uncomfortable and men who were oblivious to it. And the reverse would never happen. You know? Like if men were like uncomfortable, the women who were there with them would register that and like be like, we have to do something about this.

Right, and I think that's sometimes when I would have to convince women they can bring their men because I think they were seeing other female comics that were a little more, dare to say it, male bashing in their act. And I was like, no, I'm not a male basher. Like I'm married and I'm raising boys and it's really more self-deprecating.

And I'm telling you, you don't have to worry about your straight man's husband's feelings at my show because I will not be hurting his feelings. And once I kind of said that, I noticed more and more coming, but it is interesting because as women, as caregivers, we do care more than a guy being like, oh, I think my girl's uncomfortable. You're so right about that.

Well, the other fun thing about this season was just sort of having Deborah reach a point of respectability, somebody who's never been respectable. And that question of like, when your job has been to be an idiot for most of your career, like, what do you fear risking? What do you fear putting out there? And it is always interesting to see that with colleagues who are in the middle of their careers, like comics, like who will still take risks and who just sort of hides behind the success that they've already had. Yeah. Well there's so much, I don't want to kill it for any man, I want you guys to watch it because it is so fun and I really think

my audience, if you have not gotten into it, will love it. And here you are doing your part, looking so cute. It would be an honor to be in a litigation with Deborah because she says I'm gonna sue them, I Deborah because she says, I'm gonna sue them, I'm gonna sue them, I'm gonna sue them, for taking her image and all that. And like, I've had to deal with that a little bit too. And then there's times when it is worth fighting and then there's times where you're like,

oh God, let it be, who cares? I just wanna say, I had like a proper scene with Hannah in the first season. And then- Who plays like her young writer girl, who I love. But also there was a moment between me and Jean where we multiple, all that remained in the show was her signing my head.

But she and I improvised out a complex backstory for my character having survived cancer. So do you love working with Jean Smart? I mean, she's really, really wonderful. She's such a pro. And Hanne is so funny. I don't know if you've ever gotten to see her do stand up. No, I know she's a stand up.

I love her on the show, though. She's so funny. She's a Tonight Show set that is really, really funny. And I think you would appreciate. She's a joke about how she was raised by her family's maid to the extent that when she burns herself, she doesn't say ouch. She says, I. And it seemed very West Valley to me.

I love it. She's great. Juicy Scoopers, you know that you should never leave the house without sunscreen on your face. Well, let me tell you, you're going to want to apply it everywhere with this new product from today's sponsor OneSkin. Just in time for summer, they've launched their Triple Power OS1 Body SPF. You guys, I absolutely love this. It's specially designed for the skin below the neck with three types of protection from non-nano zinc oxide, potent antioxidants, and their OS1 peptide. It's the ultimate defense against UV exposure,

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with healthy lifestyle changes. BMI and other eligibility criteria applies. Go to ro.co.gov. Sign up today and you'll pay just $99 for your first month. And $145 a month after that. Medication costs are separate. That's ro.co.slash. Juicy Scoop. Okay, so now let's talk about the crazy stuff that happened over the weekend with P. Diddy. Now we know that P. Diddy, his house has been raided. He already settled with Cassie, his girlfriend of many, many years for like 33 million right

away. First he said, it's not true when the lawsuit came. It's not true. It's lies. I'll fight this vehemently. And then like within 24 hours, it's like, okay, done. Here's 33 million. You're not to talk about it.

I'm not to talk about it. And then over the weekend, a video that happened in 2016 of him absolutely physically abusing her in the hallway of an LA intercontinental hotel. Allegedly the reason we never saw this was because the hotel was paid off or someone at the hotel was paid off for 50,000. That's the alleged rumor, I guess. I don't know if it's been proven. Then this got out. He since has done an apology, which is more about him than she, but I also heard he couldn't

say her name as part of the settlement. So he's like, I'm disgusted. I'm working on myself. I'm trying to be a better man. I'm praying. Okay. So it was very triggering to see people think more is going to come out, people that he's associated with.

You go way back to his white parties in the Hamptons, Jay-Z, all these people. And if you want to go on that crazy side of people really going down the rabbit hole, many people believe more and more is going to come out about people in his world. I just want to know what the human trafficking means because it could be just the use of a federal law to prosecute sort of like an isolated incident with like one person who he brought across state lines for an illegal purpose or something like that.

Or is it, was there something more systematic going on there? Is this like underaged girls to those parties? What is it? I wanna know more, but it's just, it's so impossible to think about P. Diddy not being part of the popular culture. You know what I mean?

Well, so Peloton has said we are no longer playing his music. I'm like, well, do they also not play R. Kelly? Do they also not play Michael Jackson? I'm for all, I don't care. Don't play it. Listen, don't listen. That's not what I'm saying.

I'm just kind of wondering, where do you draw the line? Because there's now there's so many. Do you think the rules are once they die, it's fine? Because I feel like everybody with Michael Jackson was like, once he was dead, the money was no longer going to- Him, right. Create amusement parks to woo children into a false sense of security.

So like maybe it's okay then, but like- Yeah, maybe, yeah. I don't know, it's hard. Like, terrible people make good art. Like, that has, you know. I mean, I think it's an easy move for a place to say. I mean, there's so many songs, there's so many get up and go, get you in the mood

to ride a bicycle, Peloton songs. Sure, cut it out. I think it's a wise thing to do. It's not that hard. Yeah, it's not that hard. It's not like, oh my God, there's only three artists in the world and now we lost a third of them by cutting out his...

I mean, who cares, you know? I mean, I do also feel weird about the fact that like... Well, it's just like he was not apologizing for anything. He was not becoming a better person until people found out. Right, until he was caught and we couldn't turn away. No one could say that it didn't happen and that she was a money grubber, you know? But it's like there's so much stuff that is being successfully hidden from so many people that it feels hard.

You know what I mean? And I also just think like, again, this is why women don't come forward. No, people weren't believing her. People weren't believing her. They were like, eh, maybe why did she keep coming back after this or whatever, even though they could read all the stuff before it was settled. But it took her this long to finally get to a place

to go for it. But Wendy Williams would say, Wendy Williams knew everything. She would say things like, yeah, you try being with a mogul and you know, you want to get away from him? Well, he'll land the helicopter on the hotel you're staying at and there'll be somebody standing outside of your door. And you know, that's a form of trafficking. You're being trafficked for him. Like you can't get out because he's got so many people on eyes on you, even if you're living a private jet lifestyle. Like that is really true.

And in a world where we do have this kind of wealth disparity and this kind of power disparity, having there be, I mean, laws that protect people in situations like this. And you're very right that it is these old 1920s sort of like man act laws that seem like they're from the past, but really are the things that we have to protect people from having that kind of power be used

to control somebody, you know? Yeah, and I mean, so that all came out this weekend. If you were dating a billionaire music mogul, how would you protect yourself? I was dating like one, just to make sure that I kept my own thing. Well, I mean, I think it's a different thing when you're that young thing

that doesn't have anything of their own. They're not a star in their own right. So let's talk about Jennifer Lopez, because Jennifer Lopez dated Pete Diddy when she was very much on the rise. That's when she wore the white headband, the low white riders. And that's when this event happened at this nightclub where she was there with the – there was a shooting and a woman got shot in the face and two other people got hurt.

And P. Diddy was there and it was very – seemed to be very covered up somehow. But the stories were that allegedly like, you know, he told her to hold a gun and she put him in her panties and like, whatever. I remember that story. Yes, and like, and so, so then also this weekend, it was, oh my God, J.Lo and Ben have not been photographed together since end of March. Yeah.

And they're not wearing their rings and he's looking miserable and they're looking for different property. And then the next day it was, now they are wearing their rings and he's looking miserable and they're looking for different property And then the next day it was now they are wearing their rings Oh now they went out together and he's purposely wearing his rings driving around making sure everyone sees that he wears the ring and then Oh, she was just looking for investment property and he wasn't at the Met Gala cuz he was filming Accountant to and but they did all go together to one of the little kids' plays or whatever. With everything going on with her, where people mocked her documentary, where she's like,

I'm just like, this Harry runs through that crazy, crazy kid back in the Bronx running around 16 years old and then she didn't know her bodega proper or there wasn't proper way to order the food and people are showing that tickets are selling for $8. Yeah. And it's like, look, it's hard to sell tickets. Sometimes you overdo your shot with a big arena. It's hard, you know, so I don't think people are dying

to hear this new music. She is a real star. She'll always be a real star. I love it. In the arc of a real star, you always have to have those down times. You have to have those periods when you aren't getting every, the proper respect so that people can re-embrace you.

There's the difficulty of JLo. She's trying to do everything. Like she's tried to do everything and it means that she's had misses at everything, you know? And no one thinks Ben Affleck is a happy person. No one thinks, like I, I'm, I don't expect Ben Affleck to happily ever after with anyone. I expect him that we got a second chance

at this relationship I'm so happy with. He won best picture for Argo, I'm so proud of him. But no one with that back tattoo is like managing to like balance it all. And also a late in life tattoo. Yeah, I mean, it's real rough. He's clearly going through some things, you know, like he had Jennifer Garner, like he had, Jennifer Garner is gonna make you homemade chocolate pudding

and post it to Instagram and- She was making, this is gonna make you homemade chocolate pudding and post it to Instagram. She was making, this is gonna get you hard. She was making her own bagels during COVID. Yes, I mean, she is- Is there anything that more difficult? To be like so difficult, but whatever. If you wanted to have somebody stabilizing your life, you had Jennifer Garner,

and you said I would like Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez is not a stabilizing feature. She is magnificent, however. And I'm happy for any happiness that they can get out of this and wherever they land afterwards, you know, that's fine. Well, according to a source, you know, they said she is really positive and has a positive outlook on life and he sees things as problems that need to be solved. So in that way, and you can see it, the way that she just keeps moving. And so she didn't let all this TikTok people

making fun of her get her down. But, and she keeps going and she was at a premiere last night, she's in some Netflix movie called Atlas, where she is like, I think she's like a NASA person or something. She's like an astronaut. She looks amazing. She looks stunning. I mean the body, the, she looks flawless, always.

And she's, I mean, cranking out crap, truly. But also, you know, I don't know, she was so good and out of sight. That was 30 years ago, but she was truly great in one film. I know, and that was when people first discovered that she had an ass and that she made asses be a thing. Yes. She was wearing these like kind of casual shorts and she was like walking down a dock and everybody was like, holy fuck, I don't think we've ever seen actress

with like a real ass before. When she's 67, somebody is going to write the right role for her. And she's going to dazzle all of us and it will be magnificent. But to have that happen, you have to have Tina Turner in 1977, you know, you have to be like just performing for only the gay guys in San Francisco.

To go down to then be able to come back up. Exactly. I listened to all 48 hours of the Streisand book and Streisand- So Barbara Streisand's autobiography. Autobiography. Does she read it herself? She reads it herself.

The performance is amazing. Okay. But she, as somebody like like even she had to have a down period, even though she kind of succeeded at everything she did ever. Like, you know, even though all of her- And was that Yenta? No, Yenta was on, she won best director

at the Golden Globes for Yenta. It was more mirror has two faces. Okay. And it was just nobody respecting her as a director. But then the whole time she was always able to go and sell records like crazy. And I think, I mean, Jennifer is kind of the opposite of like, she can always go do a TV show and kind of kill it. Well, I was always like fascinated knowing what her net worth is, is why, and I talked

about this before, why she was kind of lowbrowing herself to partner with companies that she didn't own, just like a normal brand deal that any other influencer would be doing. And I'm like, can you not turn down anything? I always have questions about the management infrastructure that these people have around them. And it's so hard when you have somebody like Taylor Swift, who clearly has people who are thinking outside of the box

and using the power that she has really, really savily, that you are like, you're Jennifer Lopez. Like, but it is kind of, she's supposed to be good at singing and dancing and acting and business management, you know? And social media, like she is all about her social media now. And there was a- And wearing beige. What about, just you like her in beige? Yes, I mean, yes, just like a signature white or beige. Oh, well, I love the way she dresses

and I love her hair and makeup. But when she says, in the documentary about how hard her life is, this is me and getting this movie made or whatever, because I was like, the doc is actually kind of juicy. The actual musical video album thing is like ridiculous. But anyway, there's a part where Ben Affleck, and I've seen the clip, says she is addicted to this. Like she's, it's always gotta be something else. And I think that's where, now that they've been married and together for a while,

I think he's just like, oh my God, what is the next five years of my life? Like it's never going to slow down ever. He wants to do good films and then we take breaks in between. And she can never take any breaks. She's a workaholic and that's what P. Diddy said when they were dating. He said, we're perfect because I'm a workaholic and she's a workaholic. I kind of love that. I'm going to assert that if Taylor Swift or Beyonce were sitting in this chair, it would be kind of a stilted conversation. Taylor Swift would be a little bit fake

and be trying to give you what you want. Beyonce would be Beyonce and just sort of like, you know, stilted. Jennifer Lopez would be able to be perfectly personable and meet you exactly where you are. And I think that that's maybe her problem is that she is too normal and human and wants to give people what they want.

So interesting. And I wanna just say, since you brought up Taylor Swift, I got sent this by so many people in DMs. I have been talking about my fear of Taylor and Travis. And I said, if Travis does not ask her to marry him soon, she's gonna get the ick factor because I believe he's Travis does not ask her to marry him soon, she's going to get the ick factor because I believe he's going to start to want to sing and do a country album and want to be on stage. And this weekend, it happened.

Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah, it happened. Oh, wow. It was like the Kelsey Jam. I don't know if that's for his podcast, but he got up and sang one of those type of like, you know, like we're gonna rock all night. I don't know, it was like one of those songs and people sent it to me and they're like, Heather, you're right. Pro athletes aren't ready for this kind of stuff.

Like, I just don't think he has- I warned him. Like- They should already be engaged. He needs to get married to her right now before she gets turned off. I don't know that she's focused on getting married. Like I think she is on a series of rides.

Well, I think already it might not happen now because of this, because of this, because of my prediction coming true. Athletes. Of Haley liking to sing. That is magnificent work and I am impressed by it. But athletes, they give so little of themselves. Their job is just to go be strong on the field or court the way that they're supposed to.

And they get to do these little tiny things, them wearing their dumb little outfits as they just walk to the locker room. They're so proud of themselves these days. And if any of them, the ones who are actually like good or charismatic performers, I'm always so proud of. And it's why the guys from the WWE do so much better as actors than any of the football players because they are performers, you know? But it's like, God, no, he needs to realize

no one wants to see you sing. Well, it might be too late. Yeah. I mean, I can't save everyone. Yes. I just can't. Now, here's a sport divorce that's happening, and this is Juicy Scoop Golf.

This story was presented by Drake DeBias. This guy Rory McElroy? We're both huge fans. Heather and I are both huge fans of Rory McElroy. McElroy? McElroy. McElroy. He's pretty cute and apparently he's really good at golf.

Okay. And his wife is a huge fan of the European Union. Why is she holding a European Union flag? I don't know. But she, they're getting divorced after seven years. And I guess that was a shock, no one knew why. But Drake had a theory. He said, when Liv started, which is like

Dubai's version of the PGA, they were throwing hundreds of millions of dollars at people. Oh yeah, I heard about this. And he was one of the holdouts not to do it. And anyway, he has decided to do it, but filed for divorce right before, because we're talking hundreds of millions of dollars. Wonderful.

I love divorce settlements more than anything else. And people making like savvy choices about this is, this relationship is not working. I am now going to give this person a community property interest in my deal with the UAE. I respect it entirely. I wish more that it were a woman getting away with something. Like, I really, you know.

It happens with women too. When they know something's coming down the line. The other thing that people don't talk about is when you are, it doesn't matter how long you were married, it's my understanding that if you inherit something, like you're married and your parent. Yeah. So sometimes I've seen people get divorced when they have an elderly wealthy parent that's coming to the last few years and they, rather than work out the marriage, they're like, let me cut my losses now so that that divorce is clean and done before I get my five million from my mother when she dies.

What's the five million from your mother that comes to you when she dies that your husband can't claim that? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But if you were to be married together, staying married, and five million comes in, you might then, your spouse might go, let's buy a house.

Yes, and then- Let's buy this, let's invest it. That's called transmutation. That's very, you're very savvy, Heather. You understand the law. Let's buy this, let's invest it. That's called transmutation. That's very, you're very savvy, Heather. You understand the law. And also, let's remember that the United Arab Emirates is now the premier location

for the world's highest end sex workers. Like if you're somebody who wants to make money off of a relationship, like that's where you go these days. Dubai? Yes, I'm sure Rory will have a lot of options. Haven't you noticed a lot of your influence? Do you not follow, like... Oh, well, that's been going on forever, going to Dubai and all that stuff like that.

That's where the influencers go there. I have never been, and I would be down to go with my touring crew, which is my sons and Peter, if it was like I'm performing for some Juicy Scooper, like if there's some like really rich Juicy Scoop lady that's listening right now, and her husband is like, what do I do for your 40th birthday? And she's like, I want a private

Heather McDonald show experience, whatever. And then he takes the boys out golfing or that fake, they have like fake surfing and stuff. Yes. Then we'll go. I mean, then we'll go. But other than that, I probably won't make a trip. Sounds like it would be really fun for an air conditioned four days. Yeah. Let's talk about this because a lot of people are talking about it and everyone's gonna get heated and weird. But this guy, Harrison Butt Kerr, he did a speech at a private Catholic college that I guess is really known to be quite

a conservative Catholic college, which I have never experienced that side of Catholicism. And so he was chosen to speak and he spoke and people went, got very upset about it because the main thing they got most upset about, well first of all, he made a joke about pride or a throw away. Like you should have pride and I'm not talking about the pride that lasts a month in the summer.

Which was just like a diss. This guy is coming and saying, look at me, I'm a real man, I mean, which was just like a diss. But this guy, this guy is coming and saying, look at me. I'm a real man. I'm a real Catholic. And all of these civil rights gains that women and queer people have had over the course of the past 30 or 40 years are what's destroying our society.

And people love to come around and say stuff like that. And it's easy to treat it as harmless until you realize, you realize, that like in a lot of states, it's very hard for a woman to get reproductive care now because these ideas are coming back. So I think, I do understand why people are very upset about it.

I'm upset about it. But I thought it was really interesting to read all of this stuff. Where then they tried to get, they wanted to get 150,000 people to sign to get the NFL to fire him or the Chiefs to fire him. And that I was like, I don't really agree with that. I think the school chose to have him speak. He spoke.

I don't know if the school ever, I've never been asked to do a commencement speech, but I would think that you would maybe have to run it by someone first. So I don't know that it's on them. And of course we all felt badly for the girls that had spent all this time studying because he basically said, you have been fed the most diabolical lies

that you might get joy or feel success when you get promoted or get another degree when really it's getting married and having children, which is like, who's to say that anybody really wants to get married and have children? And his mom is a physicist. Also, he was sold the most- You know that his mom's a physicist?

Yes, I saw that. It happened for like 30 years. She went to like Smith, she went to a women's college. Yes, and- But you know that this is rebellion. Like this is him being mad that mommy was off learning how stars work instead of making him lunch when he was a little boy. Well, a lot of people would really love to hear from her because that is a very interesting thing.

As a working mom myself, this would be a very bizarre thing to hear my son do a speech like this in 10 years. My favorite joke of yours is some women are saying to their kids, I gave you the best years of my life. And I forget what you're punch line is. It was like, this was a long time ago. So I wasn't this age. But I said, I don't want to wake up at 50 and say to my kids that are being ungrateful, I gave you the best years of my life.

Because I didn't. I was out traveling, I was going to parties, I was on red carpets, I was performing with you guys, I got to have drinks after, and I don't have any regrets. And it's like- Women were not sold the most diabolical lie. This dude was sold the most diabolical lie

that being good at kicking would take care of him for the rest of his life. He's got two, maybe three years left and he has to go off and, you know, see if he can afford a Ford dealership or something like that. And I think it is just like, I get mad when these guys talk down

because they are part of the institution of formalized masculinity. Like I'm a strong guy who makes good money for now. So you know. You should too. Yeah. And it's like the other thing is with his wife he goes you know I met her in band practice or whatever when she was when we were in seventh grade and you know her life began when she got married and had kids. And then my son Brandon goes, yeah, that's easy for him to say. She's probably happy not working.

She doesn't have to work. She's with an NFL player. But- I'm also willing to bet that her life started for a couple of guys before she got married. You know what I mean? I do think in looking back at, you know, how my mom, you know, in the eight,

like in the seventies and eighties of like one day at a time, like there was this whole thing women should work too. And I do feel sometimes people are like, wait a minute, what the hell did we do? Like there's jokes, like Natasha Legerro had a joke. Like she was like, who started this? I would have rather just like made a casserole and called it a day. Like who the fuck started that we had to work? So I get that.

And I do think that there was a better way to say, listen, you know, it's like what you said, you said, actually, my next book should be having it most. You're never gonna have it all ladies, you're not. If you're gonna have kids and work, something's gonna suffer a little, you're gonna have some guilt. But to, I, also, I want people to

also know choosing or having the privilege of staying home when your kids are young and really enjoying that time is wonderful too. But you have to be careful because you, just like the reason the women started working in the 70s and 80s is because they were getting divorced and they were being fucked because they didn't have a career. So you cannot ever depend that this guy is gonna be that fabulous of a husband for the rest of your life. So don't depend on that. Have something else going.

Athletes are notorious for staying with their first wife and respecting her through all of the changes of her life. I'd like to make three points. Yes. The first one is having children and raising children, whether you are a man or a woman, is the coolest job and it is one of the coolest things that a person could do. And I think that we don't respect that work enough.

Second point, it is cool to look back to a time when people, usually women, were able to spend their time just focused on their family. But also, linked with that is the fact that at that point in time, those women weren't legally allowed to own property in their own names. They weren't allowed to get credit cards. You would not have been able to make a contract with anyone without your husband's permission. And the legal emancipation that women have enjoyed

has been as the result of women getting power in their own right through working and making money. And the last point is, it's very easy to be like, oh, the PC woke mob wants to take this guy's job away just for using his free speech. But you need to remember that Colin Kaepernick lost his job. It wasn't just a threat. But Colin Kaepernick, for trying to make a point about the place of black Americans, lost his job and lost his income in the NFL. And, you know, it is only, there has always been a PC police.

There have always been people who were removing people from discourse, from using their speech. It's just for most of time, it was women who were too mouthy. It was gay people who talked about being gay. And we're not used to straight white men saying good Catholic things for having people come and question them.

And I use good Catholic things ironically. The Catholic Church is a big, beautiful organization that has some crazies and some Mel Gibsons and some people that I love. But what's interesting is I will say as someone who went to Catholic school and went to an all-girl Catholic high school, everybody I know that went to an all-girl Catholic high school from my mom who left her place in Wisconsin and lived with her 20-year-old aunt so that she could go to the private Catholic school was so that she would go to college and have a career of her own.

And that was like in the late 50s. And so I do think as Catholics, I don't want people to see this and think that Catholic schools are like this because that's not at all what, everybody that I know that went to all-girl Catholic high school, the goal was to go to college and have a career of your own. It was not get married and be a homemaker. I think women who went through Catholic women's schooling are disproportionately well-represented in stand-up comedy,

because you guys learn to be leaders. You guys, like, you, Tracy Wigfield, I know so many people, so many women. Christina Paszynski went to the same high school as me. Also, I was one of the first gay comics to get regularly booked by Catholic colleges, and it was just Loyola Merrimont here is, like there were, at that point in time,

two Catholic schools that had like a gay organizing person there, and it was Georgetown and Loyola, and Loyola booked me, And then later, I think, University of San Francisco wanted to book me. And then they were like, but we need a letter from another Catholic school that says that you did it and it was okay. And so Loyola did that for me. So for a while I did a couple of Catholic schools, but then I was going to do one in Erie, Pennsylvania. And they were like, but we need you to not say anything about gay marriage.

And I was just like, I'm not going to do that. Yeah, so, but the point is, it's not across the board. And it never has been with Catholic churches, like a lot of people or schools. So I just wanted to say that. The thing that is always defined the Catholic Church is that it is enormous. It is a church that is built

for whole countries to belong to it. And so it has always had some place for diversity. Right. Very nice ending to that. Okay, speaking of this, so this guy on GMA, he's the anchor, DeNarco Morgan, he posted a photo of him cycling in shorts that we cannot to we cannot show because they were it was showing his his member into graphic of a way and Why not they're inside of his pants

Well, they said one of the things they said was they have had some budget cuts and one of the budget cuts was Somebody working with their social media Of the host. So they would either cover it or help them with it. They got rid of those people. And so then they were like, we probably wouldn't have allowed this. What, then what do they expect?

If they're not allowed- I think this is gonna make people watch the third hour. Yes! I didn't know who this guy was before this cycling incident. This guy's amazingly hot. I was delighted by it. Like Matt Bomer showed more in his little photos from that movie he's in.

What's he in? Oh, he's in a Jonah Hill movie, in a role that I got sent to studio for. Wait. And then- Wait, so you were going up for the same role as him? Yeah, so I, but I like got sent to studio. So the director was like, this is the person we want.

And they were like, guy's not famous enough. Where can we find another chubby gay guy? I'm more than chubby, I'm fat. But they were like, let's find a more famous fat gay guy. And then they went with Matt Bomer, the hottest person in the world. And they just put out photos of him with like wearing little short shorts

and his little penis visible. And I was like, I get why you made the choice. I 100% get why you made the choice. But this guy, why are they blaming him? The thing is, let's be honest, we regulate black men's sexuality more than we do white guys. We would not have seen it as threatening or uncomfortable in the same way.

Well, and John Ham would always have like sweatpants showing his wings. But you know, he was playing a sexual role as an actor. So maybe their whole thing was just that he's like this, this guy's like, you know, GMA is like clean cut, you know, corny stuff. All right. Well, you know, if news anchors aren't supposed to fuck, then maybe Barbara Walters needs to write fewer books about how she porked that senator or what's her name, Andrea Mitchell, who she fucked Alan Greenspan.

Right. Yes. What's the couple that both got caught and left in every week, page six does an article about them? I like forgot about them. TJ Holmes and... Oh, I don't remember them. And Amy Robach. Oh, why would we...

Why did they have to go away? Because they had an affair on their spouses. Oh. I can't believe you don't know that story. No. Sometimes I get obsessed with stories that no one cares about. Okay, so magician David Copperfield

has now been accused of sexual misconduct of 16 women. And this is really, really disturbing. I remember hearing about it back in our Chelsea lately days. We called it David Copperfield's rape island back when you were still allowed to make rape jokes. We called it David Copperfield's rape island because he had accusations against him. And I mean, it's just like the Bill Cosby situation. Because he really had an island. Yes. And he would invite people there. I mean, there's, so all of these stories,

two of the girls said they were 15 at the time. There has been accusations of drugs being used to put them out. There are stories of, you know, where he's doing the magic and there's a cute girl in the audience. And then somebody's like, would you? Like touching boobs, somebody's like, would you like to meet him and take a photo after that type of thing? So there's so many and of course he's saying none of it is true and this and that, but

it seems to everything's becoming too perishing now with these creeps. I mean, there are so many of these people for about whom there have been rumors forever. And then there finally comes this point where there is incontrovertible evidence and we're like, oh, no, they're terrible. Get rid of them. And maybe it should also make us believe women more when they tell us this stuff. And, you know, we don't have the footage from the hotel

quite yet. You either need the footage from the hotel or you need 10 other people that said the same thing happened. Yes. That's the only way this stuff comes about, which is horrible. or you need 10 other people that said the same thing happened. Yes. That's the only way this stuff comes about, which is horrible. There's a very good essay in Sarah Polly's book, The Lady Who Directed Women Talking, but it was about a controversy in Canada, or Me Too accusations, and it was basically

about the experience of being somebody who didn't come forward. And I thought it was really interesting and smart, and if there's anybody who is thinking- So wait, the person didn't come forward and then how they struggled with not coming forward? Yes. And basically saying why she made that choice. Like, you know, what she owes to the women who did come forward, but also the way that those women were torn apart and that she was scared of that happening. And that is one of the things that we use to keep, to allow things like this to continue to happen is when somebody comes forward and says that it happens, we drag people through the mud.

Right, exactly. Okay, so have you heard about this new documentary about the As Ashley Madison? It's three parts. No, but this has been an obsession of yours for decades. Wow. So when it first came out, it started to get, so it started a long time ago.

It started in like the early 2000s, this website. And it was for married people to find other married people to have an affair with like in your area code, zip code, so that you could, so you would know like neither of us are going to leave our spouses for each other. So then the guy started to get, started to get press and he, and it was an interesting topic and he was on the view and all this stuff. And I think that's when we discovered it at Chelsea lately. And I remember I went on my regular computer and put in my age and my zip code just to see what would happen and no photo, nothing. And I was besieged with men that wanted

to meet me. And I was like, Oh my God. So then there's this breach years later where these hackers go in and they're like, we have everyone's information, and they're like, what do you want? Do you want money, whatever. So they're like, look, we're putting it out there. So they put it out there and journalists start going through everything and they see there's professors and pastors

and government officials. And then there's a Real Housewives of New York husband that did it. Which one? Kristen Takemans. Oh, oh I do remember that. And. Which one? Kristen Takemans. Oh, I do remember that, yeah. And then there was Snooki's husband.

Yeah. From, you know, that was on it. And I was like, oh my God, I wonder if it's gonna come out from that one time. I put the thing up. Yeah. But they could see that there was more than just someone signing up as a joke.

Yeah. There was like correspondence or whatever. And what are people going to do? So in the documentary, we see this one guy and he and his wife became famous family YouTube vloggers. And it was all about they were super Christian. Oh, wonderful. And we see their story and this thing went viral because he goes, I'm going to surprise

my wife with being pregnant. I think she's pregnant but she doesn't know. So she pees in the middle of the night but she doesn't flush the toilet because she doesn't wake up the kids and they dip it and then he goes, you're pregnant and she acts surprised, which a lot of people said that would never work. It has to be a more concentrated amount of pee. It would have been diluted in the water but whatever. They go viral and they're making all this money

showing their family he no longer is a nurse and they get to do this stuff. And then it comes out that he was one of the people. And he said, I never did anything, I was just curious, I just corresponded with people. And then he then has to come forward that, no, there were all these other women that he met and screwed.

All family happiness YouTubing is fake. Like it's all a lie. Everyone is just doing a little performance. I hate their little songs and dances, though I do watch them. I'm very conscious of how there's now some kids that have grown up that are older that are like coming forward and saying

how much they hated it. And they would be like, I don't want to do anymore. And the parents would be like, well, then I guess we won't be able to keep this house. That's so fascinating because like with child actors, you have to have the teacher, you have to have the social worker, you have to put the money into a trust

and those children have no protection at all. It all comes back to the problem that everybody gets to parent their own kids. Like some people are bad. But like, do you think more married couples, I'm going to say married couples who have been at it for 15 years or more, should just have policies and allow for some sexual walkabout for their partner?

I always said if there was something that was just in the normal way of marriage, like, hey, you know, at year seven, you know, just kind of how like, oh, at this age, everyone learns how to drive. At this age, da da da da. But if it was like, oh, from year seven to 10, every couple takes a hiatus where they can screw other people, but they always come back at year 10,

and then you just got that little seven year itch out, but nobody left their spouse, and it's this fun thing that happens, and no one gets a venereal disease, and no one gets anyone pregnant. But that would not have, and you wouldn't have to be secretive about it. I think a lot of people have open marriages,

and a lot of people don't get divorced, think a lot of people have open marriages and a lot of people don't get divorced and a lot of people have their own thing. And they aren't public about it, even if they're not public people. They don't tell their friends and stuff. But then I do think in the end, it just doesn't make for a good marriage. I mean, I just don't think it works. I just do not think it works. I have gay friends who recently went poly and they were being very sophisticated about

it. But then my friend was like, I don't like his boyfriend. I am jealous. And like, you know, I think it seems like that's with more gay guys that have the throuples and stuff like that. And I recently asked, are there lesbian throuples? Because I've never heard of a lesbian throuple. They do it serially. What they do is like two women are in a relationship and they have two children. And then one of them starts dating someone else.

And then the other lady who used to be in the relationship moves to the downstairs house or into the basement or the casita. And then they stay and the three of them parent the children together. But I don't think- You know families like that? Yes. Okay. Very interesting. I think it's very not uncommon for like a lesbian couple

to still have the ex-girlfriend of one of them as a co-parent and like person living in the house or who is like present there, but not getting it on with each other. But maybe there are hotter lesbian couples that I don't know who are doing that. To me, I think if you can resist from stepping outside the marriage and cheating,

I think that is the way to go. That is my belief. I did shows in Palm Springs last weekend and at one of the shows there was a table and it was three very hot gay guys and it was a throuple. And they all worked together and one of them was a psychiatrist. And I was just like, I'm so impressed by your boundaries.

Like. So with this though, so then like that it came out that some people were doing it, this pastor got caught and then he ended his life because he didn't want to. I'm kind of like, there's sad, very sad things about that. But then there were also bots that they used. So this one girl was like, why are these guys coming to my strip club acting like they know me? of these guys coming to my strip club, acting like they know me. And she realized they took her image and she was a real person.

And they were actually like, you know, this person, because they had more men than women, would be corresponding. And every time the guy wanted to correspond with anyone, he had to pay. So they were, it wasn't just $50 a month. It was like, he was spending a lot because he was like, oh, I have a connection with this girl,

but she wasn't a real girl. He couldn't figure out she was a bot is very sad. But we also do need better laws for using people's likenesses to make money. You heard about the Scarlett Johansson thing, right? No, do tell. They asked her if she would be the voice of the new sort of like Siri thing for one of, I think it was Elon Musk, I forget who.

Okay. And she said no. And then they ended up making an AI voice that just sounded like her. And then like two days before it launched, they asked her again and she was like, no. And then they launched it with her voice and like all of her friends and family were like,

did you do this thing? And she's like, that's my likeness, you can't do that. And you, I said no to this. So what happened? Did they get rid of it? I think they changed it. But also like she does still have a lawsuit. Like that's, you know, that's messed up. Yeah. And they really have to stop because otherwise why wouldn't you just make everyone an AI voice? Why would you pay any voiceover actor? That's really scary. OK, what's going on with Prince Harry and Meghan is that their foundation,

I guess there was something delinquent. They just didn't do the paperwork. It didn't sound that traumatic. It sounded like more like a headline. But I did have a piece of gossip for you. Please do tell. And that is, I was told by a friend who spends a lot of time in Santa Barbara that when Megan and her friends

go to the sushi place in Santa Barbara, Prince Harry makes them go get a steak from a nearby restaurant and then bring it to him because as a child growing up in the royal family, you don't learn to eat sushi. So wait, while he's, so he's at the sushi place. He's at the sushi places hanging out with them, but he makes them go get him a steak

because he can't eat sushi because British, like because the British royal family doesn't eat sushi. Like he just- I'm kind of surprised that most sushi places don't offer like chicken and steak. I feel like most of them do. I know. Maybe a really authentic sushi place doesn't.

But I think he doesn't even. He maybe doesn't want that version. He wants a Ruth Chris steak. Right, and I do think it's like, you moved to California, you're gonna have to learn to eat sushi. Like it's part of the game. Yeah.

You gave up. It is kind of shocking that he never got into it. Yeah, well I would also think like, you're a cool guy about town. I mean, like, what do you eat when you're taking a girl out who wants to fuck? Like in Los Angeles, you take a girl to sugar fish, you know? What do you think is going to happen with the two of them? What is your prediction? OK, I would say that he has boxed himself in very significantly.

He's alienated his family entirely, though I do think the health situation that's going on is crazy. Like if something, if we came into some situation where we lost Charles and we lost William, like he would kind of have some responsibilities as a great counselor of state. But I think he, I would like to see him mend fences with his family, especially before his father dies. But I do think it's very vitriolic between him and William now. But I would hope that the health things that they are going through would make him, both sides, more willing to sort of like reconcile.

Yeah, I think, yeah. I mean, but also like... How do you feel about the jam? About the what? She's starting a jam company, like preserves. Oh, yes. Launching it the same week as all of the cancer news came out. Her calling it American Riviera, I have a real problem with.

But anything that is celebrating California- It's American Riviera Orchard. Yeah. Anything that is celebrating California agriculture It's American Riviera Orchard. Yeah. Anything that is celebrating California agriculture, I'm excited about. I am the official unofficial ambassador for California prunes.

Being second in line to the throne doesn't mean anything anymore. There's not much for you to do except for go and open supermarkets. And I think being a mogul is a good correct answer. I think they just need to find their thing. Like, I don't know if it do you think podcasts or jams? Well, the podcast didn't work. The lemon auto deal has now been pushed to 2025. Because Sony that didn't work out. Not they were with sorry they were with Spotify and then

that ended and then she got with Lamanata and I I Really think that some type I think part of this new with the jams and the chickens and the food It's they're gonna try to do a classy reality show and then in the end they're gonna be on like housewives I mean trying like in like five years showing housewives trying to do a classy reality show and then in the end, they're gonna be on like Housewives. I mean, trying to- Like in like five years, she'll be on Housewives. Trying to do a classy reality show would be so gross. Like I do think it would come out bad.

I mean, it's essentially what they've been doing with his book and with their specials and stuff like that with the interviews. They think they're above it and they're not. And eventually they're gonna end up doing something like that. That's what I think. Like, how much she is essentially doing

just a heightened form of tradwife? Do you watch? Oh yes, I know all about the traditional wife of like making your own bread and all that stuff, like Jennifer Garner with the bagels. Yes. Who has time for that? You know, and the thing is, is like,

that lady on Ballerina Farms is always gonna be able to do avocado toast better than you can, Meghan Markle. She said she was the avocado toast whisperer. Meghan Markle did? Yeah, or her friends used to call her that. I remember reading an article about it. She's so basic. I hate it when anyone talks about avocado toast or I make the greatest mac and cheese. I'm like, shut up. The thing is, she's really, really talented.

She is really good if you watch the videos from when she was doing royal family stuff. She was really good at the job and she was really innovative in the way that she approached it. And I wish she had been able to work within the system a little bit better, but also the system was holding her out as a piece of meat to protect other people, you know?

It really was kind of gross. And like, I'm glad that we have little Archie and little Bette growing up as real California children. Yeah, you're great. Great. Okay, so now you know that Dorit, this is Real House, this is Beverly Hills, you know that Dorit and PK are separated. I know. And I was told that Dorit did it, that Andy told Dorit you have to like, reconcile, like you need to get things proper with your relationship if you wanna come back on the season.

Dorit needs to figure out a goddamn plot line for this next season. Well, I think having trouble on being on the verge of divorce is pretty good. Women love it, women love it. It is, but like her video messaging with PK was boring and her talking about her trauma- Well, he was gone for 73 days. I should have told you something. Like her trauma from the-

Break-in. From the break-in, so boring. Neither of those is boring as Crystal's brother, but Crystal at least had other good fights last season. Well, they kicked her off. I know. They should not have kicked off Crystal. Really? Because you wrote me,

why does Crystal think we care about her brother? And I said, listen, they didn't have to share that part about the brother. They probably asked for more brother. I thought it was so boring. I love Dereet. She is my favorite Real Housewife across all franchises. I just, she needs to come correct this season.

She needs to start a fight with one of the new women who is small enough that she could take them on. I do not think the thing is, is if she goes after Sutton, Garcelle will back up Sutton. And we've all seen what happens when Dorit and Garcelle go head to head. Are we going to finally get the truth about Kyle has done another interview saying Morgan and I are just friends?

Oh, I am so tired of it. I'm so pissed off about it. You've like given up all of your identity because you're being subsumed into a lesbian relationship and you still can't even say that you're a lesbian. You've covered your body in tattoos, upsetting the Judaism that you acquired 20 years ago. No, I will have none of this. I'm gonna make you love me. I just met this pretty lady. Okay.

Yeah, I think Morgan is gonna be over her soon. Here's what I would like to kind of see from this season. And what I'm saying is apocalyptic. Okay. We all remember in season seven when all of the most powerful witches in the land combined their power to drive Lisa Vanderpump off of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

With Puppigate. If everyone got together against Kyle. I would love that. Oh God, that's so me. There is a new show coming out on Peacock, Queer Planet, I love that. Oh, God, that's so me. There is a new show coming out on Peacock, Queer Planet, and it's a documentary on gay, bisexual and trans animals. Clown fish are able to change their gender.

I don't know if you know that. Gay penguins, I've been talking about for years. That has been a major thing where they have a, then they have a female friend that would like to have a fun life and she gives them their egg, her egg, and they raise that baby and they're all friends. You know, we talk a lot about the gay penguins, but we don't talk about the fag hag penguins, you know?

The ones who are like, I just want to go out for drinks, but I don't want to raise this egg. Like, where is the documentary about Jill? Just getting like a fun iced igloo drink. Yeah, so, you know, very, look, so interesting. But good, I mean, of course we know it. I think it's juicy. I remember my friend had like two little hams

or something and they were brothers. And they were gay and committing incest. Yes. And we watched it happen. I mean. And that's what I knew as a young person. Oh, okay. Like if animals are gay, people could be gay.

It's natural, it's gay. You can't tell me it's not natural. You know, back then, if we had hamster incest, it just existed there in that child's room. But now with OnlyFans, everyone could have access to it. Oh my God. So I just thought this was kind of interesting. Sarah Paulson does not live with her girlfriend

of Holland Taylor after nearly 10 years as a couple. Which I don't really think is a big deal. I think that's another thing that needs to be normalized. Not everybody has to live together whether you're married. I mean, I had a cousin who got divorced, or yeah, he got divorced. He and his girlfriend were together a really long time and they got married as like people in their late 50s and they just had a house down the street from each other and they never

gave up their houses. But they wanted to have that commitment as they entered the next chapter. I love the boundaries. I love establishing what is safe and comfortable for you. Anyone who has ever seen Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor together sees that they truly, truly love and respect each other. Like Sarah Paulson, the women who she falls in love with, Cherry Jones. I mean, it's like, it's the fact that it is women in her own fields, who she truly, truly respects. I am just, oh, um,

I'm also fascinated by like like, a May, December romance between two women. Did you watch Girls 5 Ever? Oh, no, I haven't. Um, on the third season of Girls, it's very funny, but on the third season, there's this arc of Paula Pell's character trying to have sex with all 178 types of lesbian.

Um, and her wife, my friend Janine Brito, wrote for the season. Yeah. And, um, my friend Janine Brito, wrote for the season. And there's a point at the end where she talks about everything you are looking for in a relationship. And the third thing she says is regard. And it's just like, to me, that is like the core, just like respect. Like that I regard you. Like I understand your power and strength and think that it's important. And I love that in lesbian relationships. And I think there are a lot of me-December lesbian relationships.

I feel like this is, I have not seen a lot of it, but I think that- Like sexy mentorship? That's what I think. It's kind of like an interesting thing. Like you know that lesbians are obsessed with hacks because they want Ava and Debra to get together. I know.

I thought there was one moment, but I don't want it to go there. Yeah. I don't want it to go there as a show. Now listen, Sex and the City, OK, Cynthia Nixon said, trolls called the cast gay men in disguise. Well, this wasn't trolls. This has been something that's been going on for a while. The show started so long ago.

It started, I think, in 99 was the first season. And I loved it because I'd never seen anything like this. But I can say as someone who grew up around, we're all around the same age, with my girlfriends that were dating and doing, we did not talk that graphically about sex. We really didn't. And it was written predominantly by gay men. Darren Starr, Michael Patrick King.

But I do think that the thing that no one's talking about is the young teenage girls that then watched it or found it on Netflix, that watched it and it maybe affected their sexuality as millennial women to be more free with their sexuality. Because media does affect your relationships. It's what you see, you get obsessed with you. Girls wanted to move to New York, they wanted to be a writer, they wanted to,

who are my Sex and the City friends? They love it. I mean, that's why we still watch reruns today. But it was so funny in like 2007 or like 2005, you would go to the Lower East Side and there were all of these women clicking around in heels because they were trying to have that Manhattan life. Like Sex and the City.

And then 10, 15 years later, you went to Brooklyn and all around Greenpoint, there were little girls who were like living out their girls reality. And then the last time I went to Paris, I went to this gay bar raid that was featured in Emily in Paris. And it was a third women who were just sort of like... Wanting to just experience what they saw on TV.

Exactly, and I get it. I understand that these things build your aspirations and I respect that and I think it's cool. There was finally, this has only hit me like in the last like five years of life. But where you'd watch all, I love TV and movies and watch these romantic things and it was always like, you know, the girl walks into a party and is unassuming

and then the hot guy looks from across and is like, that's the girl I want, the one that nobody's looking at that's being shy and not making any noise. That's the one I'm going to fall in love with. And then I realized a guy is writing this and it's a fantasy and it's not true. The guy that if you want the guy, you better go up to the guy. You better be right in front of his fucking face because he's not going to go searching through the thing for the one girl that's standing in a corner, you know know looking like a dork. It doesn't happen. I kind of miss the Sex and the City girls that were being written by and it

wasn't all gay men it was Greg Barant it was a lot of great female writers as well but like I miss the Sex and the City girls. There were some scenes that like you could there's no way. Miranda meeting a guy at the gym and fucking him right after the gym while sweaty without taking a shower first And it was like a first time. So never would happen to a woman freely admitting that she eats Harry's ass True. Yes. No, you're right. Like you're no I've never had a friend talk about that Yeah, talk about that person like people were like, ooh, I got it good last night. Like something like that from the husband, but never like this graphic stuff.

And I just don't think women speak like that. I do think that's gay writers writing that. But I think also just, I was watching it and I was already married and I was like, God, are women sleeping with guys this early on, like barely knowing them and all this? I was kind of like, is this really happening? And I don't really think it was.

And then I think it became a reality with a lot of women. But they all seem too conservative on and just like that to you, don't they? Well, what is weird is, if you, what was really the criticism of Just Like That, and I cannot wait for this, I will never stop watching that show. But it was really Cynthia Nixon's character. She was a strong girl. She was like, she didn't want to have the baby. Nothing sweet and foofy. Don't want to be with Steve.

And then 20 years later, she's like this fumbling idiot. And why doesn't she have money? I'll just be an intern. I'm like, you're a Harvard graduate law lawyer. She was a partner for decades. Why does she not have money? Yeah. That type of thing was just them. I think they sat down and thought they had to create a whole other reality for a post-2020 world. And I'm like, no, these women wouldn't be jumping on this bandwagon. They would be, maybe it would be surrounding and other characters and stuff, but I don't think they would be like so adjusting

to it so simply. No, none of us are. Like it's, you're like, oh, okay, this is happening. And oh, this is interesting that my Gen Z child is seeing the world differently than I am, but it's not, you know what I mean? It just was trying to, and now I think they're finally getting to a place and we're going to see, we're going to see Sarah Jessica Parker in her hideous hats and Perez Hilton noted this, which I

thought was great, is in this scene she is wearing Dr. Scholl's, which look cute. They look fine with her outfit. She, you. She says she has all these feet problems from doing all the shows. And she's always running. She always had to run across the street in heels in New York, even when there was no oncoming traffic. She's handling the seasons of her life and I love it.

I love this outfit. I think it is too much, but Carrie wears a fucking ballerina choo-choo to walk down the street, you know? It's all we love. So I went after my shows in Denver, I had regular TV, which I never have anymore because I have to do all these different things

to watch TV in my house. And I was watching an old sexist city and it was when Big, she finds out Big is moving and she goes, get it, why it's hot. She brings over a pizza and then she goes, oh, your furniture's gone. And he's like, that's right, kid. I'm moving to Napa.

I'm tired of the city. And she's like, when you're tired of the city, you take a Napa, you don't move to Napa. Oh, what a terrible joke. What a terrible joke. I will never, ever stop watching this show. Reruns, the new ones. Can't wait.

Howard Stern said something, he brought up, that Jerry Seinfeld made a comment about Howard Stern. Now, they've been friends forever. Their wives are good friends. They're rich Hampton buddies. And he basically said something to the effect of, I don't think Howard would be as popular as if he was coming up today

with all the podcast competition. And Howard was kind of like, I don't know why you'd say that. And then he doubled back. He was like, no, no, no, I just meant, it's great that he's not bothered by all the competition or something like that. Jerry wouldn't be as popular today

if he was coming up against all of the other like comedian competition. His socks jokes, like, but part of it is because both of them helped create the landscape that we have now. Exactly. Those podcasts wouldn't, his show was the first podcast. Exactly.

It was the first hangout personality, here's three hours of content every day. Yeah. And yes, so that was kind of an interesting thing, but yeah, of course, none of us would be here today without him. How do you feel about Jerry getting so upset about the young people being upset by his comedy?

Is that what's going on? Is he really mad about that? Ever since he did the Tonight Show five years ago and was like, he had some dumb joke about a gay king, and he was like, kids at colleges don't like it. And it's like, you know. I mean, listen, he's, I thought, I think it's interesting that the kids keep bringing up

the fact that he dated a 17 year old when he was 38, which was Shoshanda. And I think every, I think that's what he's probably pissed about. He's probably pissed that TikTok and things exist and people can remind people of like, that was weird. You were 38 with the show. He was 38 with the show and he dated a high schooler.

And she was in high school, like 100% and then dated her for like five years. And then when he met his wife, she had just come back from her honeymoon. And then they started to date, they met at the gym and he took an interest in her and she was like, screw the husband that I just married. That's amazing. I did not just married. That's amazing. I did not know that, that's amazing. So those are two juicy controversial things. So it doesn't mean he's a horrible person.

He stayed married to Jennifer or whatever, Jessica. They've been married and have three grown kids. With her dumb cookbooks. Well, the controversy with the cookbooks were that she created the thing of hiding a chicken nugget wrapped in like- Yes, chocolate cake, yeah. No, no, no, you take chicken and you'd wrap it in like,

broccoli and then you'd put it in so it looked like a nugget. But you'd sneak in, it was called a sneaky chef or something. Yes, it was like you blend up spinach and you put that in chocolate pudding. But I guess there was accusations, of course she got to be on Oprah, and she gave Oprah 21 pairs of designer shoes to thank her. And she got to be on Oprah and her book went viral

and she became somewhat of a celebrity in her own right. And then there were people that came out, or one woman who said you stole it. Did she plagiarize it? Yeah, so it was that I had something very similar that was already out there and da, da, da, da, da. It's, of course, it turned out to be fine. And then people got obsessed with the fact

that Jessica Seinfeld was no longer close to Kelly Ripa. And people wondered what happened there. And there was like, wait a minute, they were all so friends, did some swinging thing happen? Did something happen with their kids? What happened? I trust Kelly Ripa's friendships just based on her role in Andy Cohen's books. Like I really, I believe in that friendship, I believe that she is capable.

And the way that like, it feels like SJP and Kelly Ripa and Andy Cohen, they just like pop into each other's houses and stuff. I want it to be true. I think what happened with the Jessica Seinfeld is I think there was some type of some opportunity or something and she expected Kelly to do a little more and Kelly was starting to get a little jealous of her rising. Like it was cool when you were the most famous comedian's wife that I'd casually hang out with in the Hamptons. But if you're going to start to be your own personality, I don't think I want to help you. And that's what I think

happened. And they both agreed not to talk about it. I don't believe in swinging because I may have my criticisms, Jerry Seinfeld. I do not think he is dumb enough for a moment to let his wife go near Mark Consuelos. Like, I don't think anyone ever gets a taste of Mark Consuelos. And then it's like, I'll go back to Jerry. But that, yeah, I think you're right. So I think my theory is more likely. This is kind of very confusing, this title of this. Van Jones, who's a journalist, welcomes fourth baby, his second, with friend, know me via conscious co-parenting. So let me explain. He was married to a woman, and they had two kids and they got divorced.

And then during the pandemic, he was like, I'd really like to have another kid. Yes. And he had a female friend who was like, in his pod. Yeah, I'd like to have another I'd like to have a baby. They had a baby together. I assume they screwed. In the article, it does not say they went an unconventional route. But the unconventional route is we're not a couple, we only screwed a procreate, but

we're co-parenting, and now they had a second one. So he's co-parented with the first wife and then he co-parents with this woman who has no romantic relationship with. And all four kids, I guess, hang out. If they did it with a turkey baster, I would have been, that's fine, but the fact that they fuck makes me think that they like the fucking. I don't know if they fucked or not. They, people did not explain that part.

I have friends who are, it's a straight guy, or a gay guy and a straight woman, she wanted to have a kid and she was like, will you give me sperm? And they co-parent, they, you know, they are both in that baby's life. And I think that that's beautiful. If you're, you know, if, yeah, I don't think that you

necessarily have to rap parents and have them marriage. I feel like that has been in a sitcom pitch so many times, but it's never really successfully worked. OK, this may not seem related. It will make sense afterwards. But did you watch the horny Anne Hathaway movie? Oh, I started to watch it, I couldn't take it, where she meets the guy at Coachella who's a man.

How could you not take it? Like, that seems built for you. It was so, I fell asleep. It was so lame. Oh no, I loved how horny it was. Yeah, it was kind of horny. Like, yeah, I guess it was sexual for that. But I just kind of was like, well first of all,

in that movie, I couldn't get over how old her daughter looked, her daughter looked 35. No, that was not okay. The daughter should have been like 16. She's taking the kids to Coachella. It was not okay. And I go, who is this woman? Well, I think they were trying to make you not feel sad

that she is like taking her like tween daughter's crush. Like they wanted her to feel like she was a mature enough person. And then the tween was over, but I mean that girl had like bags under her eyes. I'm sure she's a very cute girl. I don't know why she looks so old. She looks really old. And then she meets the hot young guy and it's fine.

It's good. But she's so pretty. I just like that aspect of it. Guy, you got to go to a very fun thing. Our girl, Alison Faust. Our friend, Alison Faust. My first writing job ever. Yeah, we both worked with thing. Yes. Our girl, Alison Faust. Our friend, Alison Faust. My first writing job ever. Yeah, we both worked with her.

She created the show, Act Your Age. Yes. It was on bounce, but it got canceled after 16 episodes, one season. So it's like a multi-cam sitcom, like old school, and it's basically just like The Golden Girls, but updated with Kim Whitley, who is so funny, and Tisha Campbell, and Yvette Nicolle Brown. And so the show is coming out on Netflix. It's going to be available on May 22nd on Netflix. And so, the mayor, Karen Bass, the mayor of Los Angeles, it's her favorite show. So, she had an event where they watched an episode and they had a Q&A, but it was me

and 400 Black women on a Sunday. And so the looks were astounding. Like everyone, there were so many looks, there was so much black sorority presence, it was so exciting. And then I saw this one woman and she had this like two-toned updo, and I'm like, that's really good.

And then she was wearing like a very sophisticated like denim jumpsuit. And then she turned around and it was Allison, who I mostly experienced in a writer's room wearing a men's t-shirt. And- So she's killing it. Every time I see her in an event,

she looks fucking gorgeous. And I mean, she's a beautiful woman, but like- When you're writing with her, she was, yeah. I knew too, yeah. When we write, we just show up. She's rocking liquid- She looks amazing. She's rocking the natural gray hair, which is so pretty. The show is so funny.

It's coming out on Netflix. And if people watch it on Netflix, it might get a second season. Yeah. So please watch it. Yes. And it was so amazing because, you know, yeah, she did the show and with the struggles of COVID and strike

and da da da, you think that it still has a second chance. That's what's so great. And of course, all the actresses are so fast. They are so funny. And it's great to watch those people who are really good at multi-sit cam sitcoms do one. It's amazing. And then, Guy, tell everybody else where they can find you.

Well, actually, if you are in Michigan, I will be coming to Dr. Grin's in Grand Rapids from June 27th to 29th. And on social media, I'm at Guy Branum on pretty much all social media. I love it. I will be at Pacheca June 1st in Temecula, California. All my dates are at heathermcdowelland.net.

Make sure you go to heathermcdowelland.net. That's where you also join Patreon. You get the merch I talked about. But all the dates are there and you wanna go there. You don't wanna go to a second source because that's where you end up paying more So go to HeatherMcDahl.net get your tickets now plan your trips Vegas, Texas, Saratoga, California San Diego, California all of it. Thank you