Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Hannah Berner, Bravo Sued and Reality TV Secrets

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

Comedian and former reality star Hannah Berner is here! Caroline Manzo is suing Bravo. Taylor and Travis are going to the Super Bowl. Hannah pulls back the curtain on how reality shows really work. On some shows, the producers actually compete with each other. We share juicy and funny stories about being a female stand up and cover the hottest topics! Enjoy!  Go to https://www.PeacockTV.com/the-traitors to watch Traitors Season 2, out now, only on Peacock! New episodes drop every Thursday at 9pm EST Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go. Juicy Scoop is the show to know she tops Hollywood tales. Her real life Mr. Sakeman cereal data and cereal system. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, Listen up. Hannah McDonald. Juve system.

Very exciting news for the LA area. I will be performing on Saturday, March 16th. Put it in your calendars for my special Patreon peeps. I will be dropping the code so you can get your tickets early on Tuesday. And then for everyone, you'll be able to buy the tickets at heatherbickdoll.net on Friday. But putting your calendars, if you're anywhere

within the LA area, March 16th, 7 p.m., I will be performing the best show on earth. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. Well, we know who is going to the Super Bowl. It's the Chiefs and the 49ers. And I think it's nice that they have like a little Sunday off. So there's like a dead Sunday in between. I don't know just to like probably just do spas

or whatever, get a spray tan, whatever you need to do before the Super Bowl for the guys. And it was a really great moment. You know, I am pro Taylor and Travis and everyone is like, oh my God, she was so great because they were happy to see each other. But then when he saw his brother, she stepped back. She had let them have their moment. She let the mom hug him first.

And then I do think that's really great. But also most other girlfriends of professional football players would do that too. But I do think it just again adds to the character that I think that she has. I just think she's a really good person. And when I saw this, I'm like, oh, this is so great that she has like, he, she has a cute football player. And I just think of that song, you know, like the song about she wear short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she's captain of the cheer team and I'm in the bleachers.

And I'm like, I wonder if this is the ultimate high school like FU to the bitches when she was in high school before she came a big star. And now she is dating the best football player you could date. And I think they will get engaged by May. I talk about it in a future episode that I already recorded. So who knows?

I don't think it's going to happen at the Super Bowl. I don't think she would want it. And even if they've talked about it, I think she'd be like, please do not do that because the world will hate me if any of this is made about me. So I do believe they'll get engaged and I think they're going to have one or two kids. And I think it would be really cute instead of having two boys. She has two girls.

She has two sisters. And then the mom is like, oh, I don't even know what to do with girls. Okay. That's how cute this is. Okay. Now here's another story that is about young women and you know I support young women and especially their education. I come from a school that was a all same sex all female school and I believe that is a great high school education if you choose to have it for yourself or for your

daughter and It's very important that we keep these institutions alive, whether they're Catholic or non-inominational. This one is Catholic. It's called Lorena. It's very similar to the one I went, but it's about 20 minutes from me in Thousand Oaks. It sits on 36 acres and it's been around for like 50, 60 years. They just got a letter, all the parents, that the school is closing in June. Their daughters don't know what to do. Think about if you were a junior, the school starts in sixth grade. What's, how are they feeling?

The parents are upset because they're not showing the financials, they're not being honest about it. And I think this has to do with real estate. I think this is a real estate deal that's pending and they're not being honest about it. And it makes me nervous because when you have an all girl school that does not involve football, the money and everything is not like it is at a school that has a football team. The land is just a beautiful piece of property and in California it's very valuable.

And I think this is something, somebody is offering them a lot of money to have this land. I don't know this for a fact, that is my prediction. And I think there needs to be a greater transparency and I feel really sorry for these girls and their parents and their parents who have paid 20,000 a year for every year. And now their daughter's a junior who's been there since sixth grade.

And they're like, by the way, the school's closing, deal with it. So there you go. This is a story that interests me. It should interest you. It's about female single sex high schools. And I think it's one that everyone should look at and really see what was the true story behind it.

And it's Lorena in Thousand Oaks, save Lorena. Okay, Caroline Manzo of Real Housewives of New Jersey. You remember her. She finally, they finally paid her enough, in my opinion, to go back. Cause she always said she wouldn't, unless the money was right. And she went and went on the real ultimate girls trip

in Morocco. It was filmed over a year ago, I believe, and it was Alex McCord from New York. And I think Eva from Atlanta, Gretchen Rossi from OC and Brandi Glanville from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We heard about how they had to, this big thing happened when they were there, when it happened and Caroline went home early because the story was that leaked out that, you know, Brandi tried to kiss her, she touched her genitals, she touched her boobs, then she went to a bathroom and she followed her in the bathroom and apparently there's two witnesses to this,

which would be Gretchen Rossi and Alex McCord, according to the new lawsuit that came out. Yes, Caroline Manza is now suing Bravo and the production company, saying that this essay happened to her and they obviously knew about it, they saw it, they heard it, and they were plowing people with alcohol and they didn't stop it on the first time, the second. When you read it all the way through, which is now public record because it's a lawsuit, it really does go on for quite a bit and you feel for her. But she's not suing Brandi. Brandi's upset. Brandi tweeted, can we please air this show to show that this is not, you know, what it was looking like? I'm curious if she's, if Caroline is deciding to sue so that we never see the show

so no one ever questions if by any chance she was Giggling about it or participatory in it or You know moving on or whatever it's written very much like I just after that I was shaken up, but I had to do my job So I went back to the dining table. Then it happened again. And when you read it, it is like, oh my God, this does seem pretty awful. And you feel for Caroline Manzo, but you know, is, so my prediction is Bravo will

pay her money. They will settle out of court and we will never see the real house size of Morocco, which of course the other girls are upset about because this was going to like boost their route being relevant, maybe get them other parts on other shows. I don't think we're ever gonna see it. And Brandi feels like this has really heard a reputation. I wonder if Brandi could also sue Bravo

just so that she could get them deposed to try to prove herself. But here's the thing, it probably happened when she was quiet intoxicated. So who knows, the footage is going to have to be seen. So unless they settle, the depositions will say, let's show the footage, which will either show Bravo being, um, encouraging of it or, you know, complying to it or, um, you know, or Brandi being so out of it,

or getting drinks, or maybe there's a moment where there's some footage where a producer says, hey, go do that, you know, that was funny, go do it. I don't know. So this is kind of interesting, but I also feel Caroline A doesn't want this ever to be seen. She wants it buried, so this is one way to do it. B, she doesn't care about burning the bridge. She never wants to go back to the show. So she

might as well do it in a bank, try to save her reputation. And if she truly feels that she was violated, then yes, she should be made whole. And if that's because of gaining somebody financially from your one-time employer, so be it. So we'll see what happens. And now for my really fun, hilarious interview with the always fun Hannah Burner. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I am back with return Juicy Scooper. Funny lady, Hannah Burner. I'm so happy to be here. I love you so much. Aw, I love you too. We hung out in the Hamptons. We hung out in the Hamps.

We did. And then I love that you speak so highly of me on other people's shows. Do I? I don't remember. You and shit. You and Claudia. Somehow, I don't even think, someone told me,

I mean, because I listen to Claudia's the toast sometimes and I was like just so pleasantly surprised There's nothing better than like all of a sudden me hearing two people talk behind your back on a podcast and it's and it's positive And you're like what that's the scoop. I'm actually spreading love and joy I love it. I love it that you guys were kind of like that. I was kind of like a fun like I love it. I love it that you guys were kind of like that. I was kind of like a fun like Comedian auntie for you as two female podcasters You got to put respect where respect is due for juicy scoop and we all love kind of building that kind of community of like Silly girls out here and support the women women supporting women. Look you put out fire content. You do no one can argue that

You know what you know who doesn't Okay, should you go to my interskine Caroline? I was very upsetting all right We support women here at juicies coupe and at Hannah Berger and you have have, you were doing so well. I love your stuff on Girl on the Street. Thank you. I really had so funny. You know, I mean, you really, like, you build that up yourself. That was so great. And you just came from another podcast.

And I was going to talk about this, because it's all over the press, that Brittany Schmidt, and I think this was really smart, that she saved this juice. Sometimes you've got gotta save your juicy story for the first episode of your new podcast. And she comes out with it with a Brittany Furlan who I love and she's been on here as well. And it's that she dated Armie Hammer

after the scandal, recent. And I think, even if you didn't, even if you didn't want to date him, I would have more respect if she was like, look, I knew we were about to launch this podcast. And I saw him at a bar and I'm like, I can take a bite for the team. But like, I do understand doing something for the story. And I do think in her weird comedian brain that we have two,

she was like, something entertaining is gonna come of this. But I didn't know she was gonna tell people, cause I knew. And then I was like, oh, I'm in LA. And she goes, oh yeah, that's the day my Armie Hammer episodes dropping. And I'm like, oh, are you sure you, oh, is that, okay. That's gonna be intense, but I haven't seen anything

because I haven't been on my phone. I just saw the clip, I just saw the clip. And she met him and was like, look, we're gonna have to talk about the fact of the cannibalism. And the way he described it to her was like, look, yeah, I get to be inside of you. And so therefore I want you inside of me

by I guess eating part of you. Anyway, she was down. That's what she said. That was her job. Did she? Yes. Now everyone's going to accuse you of stealing that job. But not again.

But I sure did God. She said he hasn't seen the clip. I haven't seen the clip. That's exactly what she said. Like she goes, yeah. And, you know, but then she said, so she goes, but, you know, she was classy about it. She's like, look, I was down.

I'm not, you know, saying anybody else's experience isn't their experience for me, but she also went in post the scandal. You know, the other girls, they thought they're just dating a really hot guy that was, you know, super into them. And they were like, yeah, I will be at your porch with Alicia on my neck, waiting for you

because you are army hammering and hot. I can't judge Brittany for having a I'm gonna fix him moment, because we've all been there, we go, the other girls couldn't, but I'm gonna turn you into a vanilla king. I don't think she thought she was gonna fix him. I think she was like, I'm down for the podcast story.

I'm down because he's still hot. I can take a bite. And then she got a little tattoo, she let him tattoo her fingers. Yeah, I didn't see that. The dot and whatever you call it, what do you call it? The spot and dot tats? Oh yeah, what the cool kids are doing. Yeah, the didn't see that. The dot in whatever you call it, what do you call it? The spot in dot, tats? Oh yeah, what the cool kids are doing.

Yeah, the stick and poke. I really, listen, what I'm gonna pray for in the future. Okay, let's pray. That they have a way of even coming up with a much easier process to remove these tattoos. Poor Pete Davidson. Poor Pete, everybody, listen. I'd be in rehab too if I was getting my whole body pulled off.

I get it. I get it's really fashionable and I get it's fun and I get that it's, but I'm telling you, you're going, what I used to say to my kids, my sons, is I said, remember when you liked Dora the Explorer and I go, well now you're on the baseball team. And you take off your shirt to go jump in the pool with your friends. You're gonna think you're a loser. And you've got, you know, swiping or no swiping on your back.

No, I was talking to Paige last week about how crazy the fashion industry is, how like red's the color, everyone needs red. And then they go, everyone bought it, now Leopard's the thing everyone needs. And I'm like, that's why I never got tattoo because in three weeks it's not cool. Are you not tattooed either?

I have no tattoo, I'm raw. I'm a raw dog. So am I. Look at us, we're just so pure. We're just such angel virgin babies, you know? I get that it's like fashionable and I do like to look, but whatever, who cares? I don't trust myself.

I'm not like better than people. I don't trust myself. She got a story, they got a lot of press. It's worth the finger tattoos. I'm not like better than people. I don't trust myself. She's got a good story. They got a lot of press. It's worth the finger tattoos. I'm sure we'll figure out a way to remove it very simply. I know, but honestly, press is hard. Like I think she wanted to like speak out about it, but then it never, the press, you start to feel dirty

where you're like, I don't, we don't need to keep talking about this. So I hope that it comes down. Save it for the pod. That's what I was saying. Save it for the pod. Save it, save it for camera. Save it for the pod.

Everyone has a pod, save it for the pod. How do what I was saying. Save it for the pod. Save it. Save it for camera. Save it for the pod. Everyone has a pod. Save it for the pod. How do you feel about our girl Natasha Ligera going topless at the Improv? I kind of fucking loved it. Let me just explain what happened for people that might have missed it. Natasha Ligera.

Ligero is a mispronouncing. No, she has been a friend of mine for many, many years. She's super funny. She's a mom. She's written a book. She has a podcast with her husband, who's very successful comic too. And she went to the Improv in Burke Kreischer has this bit where he's been doing forever. I know it's a bit now.

It's just him. Well, I thought that he like went to Zempick and got all skinny. But then when I saw him in that, he didn't look skinny. I think he pushes it out sometimes. Oh, he pushes it out now. But I also, I thought he just did it like in arenas, but I kind of respect that he does it in like small club shows too.

No, I think he always, he's always done it and people want it. And so afterwards, he brings her up and she decided to, you know, show her boobs right off the bat. And she has a nice body and nice boobs, and then she just put on like a little jacket over and then I guess continued with her act.

But of course someone filmed it and it got out. And anyway, I don't know how much trouble I'm gonna have selling tickets coming this year. But I asked you to go to Craigs with me tonight because I was gonna go full 70s Bush, lift up the skirt outside of Craigs with you, cause you have a lot more followers than me. And then TMZ would be like,

Heather Mittal shows full Bush. And we have to compete with fucking army hammer and going topless. Like the press cycle is intense right now. Being a female comic, it is hard to sell a ticket. I think she was also kind of making fun of the whole concept of like, well we can never do that. And I kind of loved it.

As long as she felt okay that it went online. I think she is fine with it. And she did sell out in like 10 minutes of some other club. And I say, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Whoever buys a ticket is gonna be thrilled because she's a really funny comic. Myself included, but sometimes it's hard to move tickets.

So I'm just thinking about God forbid. But do you want a bunch of creepy dudes at your show? That's not the energy you want. You've cultivated a beautiful. I will, I'll have feminists that are like, yes! Heather's bringing back the bush. I respect the bush, except I'm kind of sweaty. So when I grow it out, it's like, there's stuff in there.

It's gross. I don't even have a bush, but I would just, you gotta be original. You're gonna buy a wig. I wanna stand out. I wanna stand out. I wanna stand out. Get extensions on your post. Listen.

Fainting on stage did nothing for me. So, I got the top list. That was iconic. It's done nothing for me. Really? Cause people were like, I don't know if I wanna go to the show and witness her break her head.

It's just like, everyone just reported on it, but nobody was like, but wait, let's have her come on the show where you can talk to her. No, they just just like, it's just like, everyone just reported on it, but nobody like was like, but wait, let's have her come on the show where you can talk to her. No, they just like talked about it. And then just like got mad at me that I got that. I was either a lip-tarred for being vaccinated or, you know, you weren't eating enough. So you fainted.

Like, I don't even know. She's too skinny. So I am looking for, looking for anything that helped move it. You have to sleep. I love her. I think it's funny. And I thought laser too long. I am looking for anything that will help move it. You have to sleep. I love it, I think it's funny and I thought it was great. It's true, like why not? Who cares? You have to sleep with your best friend's husband

on a reality show and not tell anyone about it. That's what you did. That's what you have to do. No, but that's what you did. Just kidding. Yeah, I was like, did I? I was like, is that what they edited? No, I'm gonna get to that.

I'm gonna get to what you're talking about. You're talking about Southern charm. That's scandable. Oh, it's scandable. I don't even know, there's so many. We're gonna get into the house. She's all becoming one. All right, let's get into traders.

It's getting real good because now the faithfuls are suspecting that one of the traders might be a housewife. And that makes Phaedra real nervous because she's played it cool, no one has suspected her at all. And she doesn't like that there's even conversation about her going around. Meanwhile, they get rid of Larsa, they voted on her.

And again, she whips her body around like they all do and says, I was a faithful, I was always a faithful. So they're like, what is up? Who are these traders? We've, every single person we've kicked out has been a faithful. Now, Peter the pilot from The Bachelor is starting to be suspicious of Dan

because he's like, he never says anything. He's way too cool. He's like, oh, I'm just shy. Could he be a trader? So they get in there and they decide that the three traders, fadres, like not happy that they're suspecting a housewife. It's really pissing her off. And for the first time, we see a little kind of conflict between Fadre and Dan. And they decide, you know what, let's murder Tamara, who is also a housewife, because that'll take the

heat off of me that I would kill one of my own. And I'm like, um, sorry girl, but the fact that you're going to kill a housewife is so housewife, it doesn't matter. But we see Tamron get her letter of death, and she's like the first one we see kind of crying and it's pretty sad about it. And she's like, well, I had fun in Scotland and, but she's like, but this better not be a housewife that did this to me. So she's gone. And now they are like, what are we gonna do? They come back from breakfast and they're like, well, we brought somebody new to come.

And they're like, who? And it's Kate Chastain who in the first season went really far in the game. And if you watch below deck and all the other things she's done since, she is a really kind of fascinating fun person to watch and she's really smart and this is a perfect game for her so the fact that she's back that she went so far season one should make everybody real nervous so she's like let's see what's going on here so they play this game where they say okay six of you you are gonna be out in the woods.

And in the woods, there's a chance that you could find a shield. And you're gonna break up in twos and you're gonna find these birds and then do their bird sound to the rest of the people who are in the castle. And then they have to find the matching bird to the sound. Which is like a fun little thing running around.

So Peter tells the other people that are all looking for the shield, which is six people. He goes, look, no matter who gets it, I'm going to say that I have it along with Janelle. And I'm going to say it to the people I think are the traders, one being that he thinks it's Dan, who is a trader, to see how he's going to react in the round table. Okay. So then they get in the round table

and they decide like half the group thinks it's Janelle. You know, a couple of people think it might be Kevin, but then Dan gets like four or five votes and he is a trader, but Janelle has more votes. She gets up there and she's like, I was a faithful too. So now that Dan kind of has a target on his back, the three traders come back together and they're like, could Peter be like setting a trap?

Could he be trying to trick us? And Dan is like, I don't think Peter's smart enough to do that, which of course he is. And to be a pilot, you have to be pretty smart. So at this point they're just kind of deciding what they should do and Dan's like even if someone has a shield, I say we try to get them banished by the group in the round table. There's like lots of twists and turns which I really like and now of course we have Kate Chastain and who is she going to align herself with being that she's come late and will they be threatened by her or will they want to try to embrace her? Of course,

you know, what are we going to see? I mean, she could eventually somehow become a traitor too. I don't know. The game changes all the time. That's what you got to watch and you can watch every Thursday on Peacock. It drops at 9 p.m. Eastern. So get into it. There's five episodes out. Enjoy. First, I want to tell you first thing you know, I'm obsessed with the Lauren Sanchez Jeff Bezos. Yes. They had a party his 60th. And we were not invited. We were not invited, but one of the things said, what was there, like, A-list actors, A-list actors, A-list actors, McDonald's, and I was like, McDonald's?

Heather McDonald's? No, they just brought in McDonald's, because that was his first job. Again, everyone's down with the flex. But how do you bring in McDonald's, like the owner? No, no, they brought in the food, like the burgers were featured. Oh, or I thought they brought Ronald McDonald.

He's just smoozing with like Kim Kardashian. You know, that was like, let's remind everybody that Jeff Bezos at one time worked at McDonald's when he was 16. Yeah, it's so, it was like a nice flex. But listen, she looked gorgeous. She had all her a list friends there Paris and you know, they had it in Beverly Hills sparkly and I just thought this is really weird Katie Perry and Orlando Bloom They went with like alien

She had horns coming out of her head and then he had like and then she made him wear some weird alien things She had like an alien ear and nobody else was dressed like an alien This is giving like their version of you at Craig's. They're just trying to get attention. You know what they think was an alien themed thing. Spaced out and starry eyed, maybe that was, and they went full. Because Chris had like a Judith Lieber bag,

but it was a little alien head. Okay, yeah, so they just went the hardest, and they got the press. And you know, maybe you need to go to Craig's with an alien on your head. Yeah, I know. It's anything an alien on your head. Yeah. I know. It's anything, we don't know.

Also, they were in makeup for probably like six hours for that. I know, like how? It's like, no, it's not worth it. I mean, I probably... Yeah, that would have been good party to go to. Um... Um...

Okay, Kylie, are you following any of this fashion week stuff? A little bit, yeah. I saw Kylie around. She's evolving based on her man, you know? The Kardashians like to see who they're dating. So you believe this is a real relationship? Ooh, I kind of have insider information,

just that, because I'm from like New York. So she's supposedly dating Timothy Chevrolet. Timothy Chalamet, who is Willy Wonka. Yeah. So what do you think is happening there? I think, I just know that like, the Kardashians are pretty like, once you're in there, like he can't like talk to the same people

that were in his life. Like he's in a new system now. And it's like in the Kardashian kind of, you know, oh no, they're gonna find me. That's what you think? I just think, I know that he's fully into this. Like it's for real. You think they're fully,

I'm not saying they're gonna be married or anything, but like they're fully committing to the bit. So, and you think they're definitely boning? Yeah. Did you see that one kiss that was captured? You go that, those people don't know how sex works. Like it was just like, I think it was just like a mixed method. I think if you have that much filler in your lip, it is hard to know where your lip starts and stops.

Well, she's kind of going for like a new look, which is not the lashes, not the heavy lashes. Now people think it's because she's coming out with a new mascara. Okay. And so we're getting away from the heavy glam. And I do see that in trends and stuff. Like it's gonna be, like a not as lined of a lip,

not as lined or heavy of an eye. That kind of makeup is kind of coming its way. And so she kind of went with that look at this fashion party, but people thought that she looked really old. Cause I think she, just what she wore, I think she just was like, I don't know, she does look older than 26 for sure.

My argument is I agree to an extent, but I think it's when you're really young and you get a ton of filler and then you don't wear that much makeup, you look like an older woman. Yes, you look like an older woman. Yes, you look like an older woman who's had work done. Who's had work done. Yeah.

Cause like, if she's baby face and her face looks like a baby, you look young. But it's like, she's trying to pull off this natural look with the unnatural face. Yeah. And like, I support all beauty standards, but like, there's a lot of filler in that face and it is fighting for its life.

I know it'd fighting for his life. I know it'd be kind of interesting. I always remember Joan Rivers had a really funny joke. She goes, I wish I had a twin sister so I could see what I would look like if I'd never gotten plastic surgery. Like you kind of don't know. And I think you just- And now I feel like it must be such a hard thing

to then, like when she did at one point, she kind of like took the lips down, but then she went back up, cause she was like, I don't enjoy doing my lipstick as much with no lip filler. I don't think your lips look the same after injecting them so much. They're not gonna have the same bourgeoisie.

I don't know. I also think when the influencers are like young, like Alex Earl, if you're familiar with it. People will, I'm familiar with it. What do you think? I know I may look as old as Kylie looks in this photo, but I'm actually very hip in the tech world. She's a specific algorithm.

You know, like some people have no idea who she is. But people accuse her of looking old because she's had a lot of work done. When it's not that they look old, it's just you associate like seeing certain work that like real housewives have. So it's like she's looking like a real housewife that like didn't put a lot of makeup on.

Well, it is weird. Like I said, I've been watching like these old episodes of things, not even that old, just like 10, 15 years back. And like to see thin lips and no eyelashes and like to see people with bad jaw lines and like, and like, and like I foreheads that move and yeah, and teeth that are not perfect. And it's like crazy.

I love watching like a 90s, a 90s romcom. All the cute girls, no one has lips and that was what was beautiful and that's why you shouldn't get a tattoo. Cause who knows what it's gonna be cool. But um, it's so funny how the beauty trends were so different and stuff. And that's why all the girls are now

who wanted these like insane butt jobs are now getting them taken in. And it's like your body should not be a trend. Do you know anyone that's getting their butt taken down? I don't know anyone, but I would love to. It sounds like a fucking fascinating story. Well, I'm really glad that the butt is going back out. I mean, we're going in.

I feel like there wasn't an equilibrium. Like, you'd be, like, tilted. Like, you have too much weight in one part of your body. Right. I just, yeah, I think it's... You sit down and you're, like, three feet taller. I want to tell someone that just wrote me the angriest email, and they're like, I don't know why you your friends don't

Convince you to get an ass job It's very hard for me to want to get a part of my body done that I can't see Looking at my face when it looks good because that's what I have to look at. I have to look at my hair, I have to look at my boobs, I have to look at my waist, look at the front of my legs. When am I looking at the back side of my body? That's why I don't curl the back of my hair.

I don't have time. But also, your legs are so beautiful. I'm obsessed with her legs in like a creepy way. It would make your legs look weird that out of your sticks, come like, it's the ant. Yes, it'll be an ampa. So I feel like everyone, there is a flow that we should respect a little bit of your proportions.

Like I'm a little pear-shaped, I lean in, okay? We're beautiful pair. One trend that I would like to see leave in 2024 is the out of control Muppet eyelashes. Oh, for sure. And I know how it happens. I know that people get the eyelash extensions at the salon and then a couple of fallout and then they go back

and then they fill those and then they keep filling them and then they keep filling them. And the next thing you know, you look like you've escaped in a sane asylum. But you don't realize it. No, it's like what we would call it, tannerrexia on my day, where you keep thinking you need to get tanner and tanner, but you can't see it, just like an anorexic,

sometimes you can't see that they're already thin. Like it's the same thing. So I almost think with these lashes, and it's just crazy because a socialite who's 55, well, the same black, thick lashes and blonde hair And it's just crazy because, you know, a socialite who's 55, well, the same black, thick lashes and blonde hair that the girl handing you your Chick-fil-A will have, and it just doesn't look good on anybody.

Then Jeff Bezos at McDonald's when he was working there. No, but sometimes I will like get distracted by the eyelashes, so I'm not even seeing the person's face. I'm just like, eyelashes. And it's like, it's too much. And I do, I do the lashes, but I just do them myself, and then I wash them off. Oh, she's an independent woman.

But I get it, I get whatever works for you people. But I do also have my opinion of what looks good. I think she looks fine in this photo, I don't know. She also looks really cute in another photo where she and her daughter both were black. Yeah. And like was going to all the all the Fashion, did you have you ever been invited to the fashion week stuff? I've done like a couple things, but I haven't really fully experienced it and I'm not a big partier

Page I think this year is gonna get more into it. It seems exhausting like I would think that they'd be inviting her to all the stuff. It's exhausting. Every day you have to get your makeup done, you have to have outfits for every show that correlate, then everyone's judging where you're sitting, and then it's quite snobby, and then you have to get the photo, and then everyone's like, well why are the photographers taking photos of her

and not of me? And fashion is very, you know, uppity, like that. I may go with her for the story. I'm gonna also say something real mean. J.Lo recently was at a fashion show. And her hair was like, she didn't have any of the extensions. And it was like just back and it was kind of like in a weird greasy style and they should have these like weird little glasses on.

And people got a photo of her like in the sun where she's not controlling the photos and stuff. And she didn't put her olive oil on. I mean, she still looked great, but you're like, okay. She's a normal person. This is a woman who is over 50 and you know. I'm not trying to be, who's dealing with like a crotchety husband.

Whose husband is just crotchety. He's still hot. She has to defend him because he hasn't smiled in four years. She's like, he's not kidnapped, he's okay, he's breathing. I feed him every couple hours. And I don't want to be a hero, but can we stop getting so upset with women aging?

And then can we stop? Is that the worst thing that Kylie looks older? Like who gives a fuck? It's like, yeah, I've been through shit. She's also a mother of two. Yeah, she's tired. She's exhausted. And then just to read all this horrible shit about her,

I'd look old as fuck too. I know, you're right. And I'm like, why am I even talking about it then? Okay, Real Housewives News. Do you know that Alexis Bellino is returning to the Real Housewives of Ossie as a friend of the show? What do you think? Well, I mean, they'd be crazy not to ask her.

She's dating Shannon Bador's ex-boyfriend. And she was on it previously, so there's a history there. And yeah, I don't know. You know, look, she definitely, it's the best way to get on a job, get on the show other than doing what Monica did, which was work for a person who was about to go to prison. And then become a FBI troll. An FBI, what do you call it, informant.

So people need to know how to get on a show for the first time, that you become an internet troll, assistant for someone who's about to go to prison, that's one way. Or to get back on a show, you try to date somebody's ex. She's basically creating a storyline. Instead of producers being like, come on the show,

what should your storyline be? She's like, bitch, I got a season for you. Here it is on a silver platter. Producers, they don't have to do as much work. This is perfect for them. And do you think she's using John? Or do you think they're using each other? Or they really might be just like in a honeymoon phase

of being down and happy. I think it's always like a mix of both where like you might like each other, but do you like each other? Cause you know you're gonna get attention and people are gonna talk about you guys and it's gonna be like a mix of both where like you might like each other but do you like each other? Cause you know you're gonna get attention and people are gonna talk about you guys and it's gonna be like a fun high, like you're being naughty. Yeah, it's fun to go out.

And the cameras, it's hot, like, and you get confused. Like, do I like him or do I like the attention? Right, yeah. And then Shana Badour, she's just got to roll up there and just. When you said roll. I just act completely unbothered. Because the entire season is going to be

Tamara and everybody poking at her. And the producers are going to say everything they can to get her bothered. To get her riled up. Because if she doesn't get riled up, they don't have a season. No. So they'll have to.

And then the both. You don't have a freak out in which you call yourself Shannon Storms Badour door and talk with your hands You're not coming back next season. I think she will I think she will have a great season But she knows at this point does she know she has to do that? Like I just wonder like is she like look I want it. I don't care It's gonna be you know, it's been a couple months that we've been broken up. I'm getting over my DUI situation I lost a trace Amiga's I'm getting over my DUI situation.

I lost a Trace Amiga, so I'm now just a dose. And I'm gonna go to this, I'm gonna go to this party where they're serving in Chiladas and John and Alexis are gonna be there. Set the scene. And I'm gonna have to be like, oh, hello, you know, not have Tequila, not. I think it's gonna start with her being like,

this is my plan for the season, I'm gonna hold it together, I'm above it and I don't care. But whenever you come up with a plan, the producers will laugh at it and then they'll let it sit, they'll let it simmer and the next thing you know by episode five, she's gonna be like, how fucking dare she? Now being that you got your start

as a cast member on Summer House, what is your opinion of, kind of how Monica was insinuating on Real House of Assault like that the producers did know that she was in behind the troll account and Andy's like that's not true and she kind of like shut down. What is your opinion? So full transparency, I haven't watched Bravo since I've been off somewhere else. That's probably a healthy thing. So I've been on a cleanse.

Okay. Cause I can't watch it the same way, can't appreciate it the same way, but I did, I loved Bravo back in the day. And I know enough to be able to speak on it. And I used to watch all of it. I don't know exactly what's going on with the Monica stuff. I saw the social media things.

There's definitely a possibility. The producer's job is to see a potential story and make sure it gets played out. But also, it can't be too obvious that you're about to be put in this position where the girls are going to yell at you. So there is a possibility where there's different seeds planted with each person

and every person expects something different and that's how they get TV gold. Like you're going in thinking like everyone's gonna love me or everyone's gonna think something about me but no one's gonna believe it. And so everyone is going in with a different mindset. If that makes any sense. Cause if everyone knows what's gonna happen,

that's not good TV. If everyone knows,'s gonna happen, that's not good TV. If everyone knows, oh, she's about to get called out. Yeah, I always think it's really interesting how now I know that each person has their own producer who's kind of like their coach or their hype man or whatever you wanna call it. And also that's the person that gets in your head and is like, you should be pissed

that they didn't see you at the head of the table. Oh, I fully have been in that situation where I wasn't pissed and they were like, no, you look stupid that you're not pissed or like, you look weak that you're not pissed or get a little pissed and people will love that. But also I think producers get competitive with each other and they want their person to do well.

Cause it means they got their person to perform. Got it, good point. So that's why there is so many mind games, which actually makes it more fascinating. But that's why sometimes the final product is way more dull than what actually happened to orchestrate that final golden moment that you see like five minutes of.

Do you remember the show that was a scripted show that was? Unreal? Yes. Yeah. I have always said, maybe they have, but they really need to do that with a fictional housewife. But what I also think is, there is the idea, like, oh, these people on this show- You shouldn't do it actually with a fictional housewife.

They should do it more with a combo show. They should do a fictional fictional like Southern charm, summer house kind of a thing, Vanderpump, something that you create, some hot fake show. That's like a Vanderpump something. Because I think it is more fun when there's guys. And it's a little younger.

And then you're welcome, if you haven't thought of this already, take the idea, at least I haven't noted that I came up with it when it airs a year and a half from now on Hulu. And then it's just like unreal, it's really about the producers and almost, and fighting for and planting, and someone who's planting something that wasn't real.

The producers have their own drama going on. I remember when they would fight with each other, like, I'd be like, are you guys mad? And I had producers on my show who got married, like they having full love stories, they're partying after we party. Like, it's a whole fucking thing. And you're friends with some, it's incredible.

But I also have to say what people forget. And they can be kind of mean to some people in reality shows where they'll be like, she's trying to make her own storyline. A lot of the time you get threatened, like if you don't have a storyline this year, you're getting fired. It's not like you're trying to just get a lot of attention.

It's like, we're all here to do a job at the end of the day and it's put out a good reality show. And that's kind of the first idea. And then it becomes, well, I wanna be the star. No, I wanna be the star. Well, she's trying to make me look bad. Well, you're trying to make me look bad and it just becomes an ego fest.

And then that's golden TV. OK, now I'm remembering some juicy stuff from Real Housewives. I was very friendly with them many years ago. And I went to Heather DeBrow's groundbreaking of her land party, which now she's sold that place for $55 million or whatever it is. And I remember having hearing the producer say to her, like doing the interview off to the side

or what do you call it? And they're like trying to wrangle her up that like Shannon Bador is not here yet. Like she's late, she's late. And then I remember watching it and Shannon was like mad at David who was her husband at the time. She was like, I told you we were supposed to be here.

He's like, we were doing the basketball. And I'm like, now isn't that, I always think when there's any bit of a storyline of being late, I'm like, the audience knows that they're holding you in the car down the street. But then you have to- But she doesn't know that she's being held to be late. She thinks she's being held,

because producers really tell you when it's your time to shoot. So she thinks she's being held. So, and maybe they're getting her riled up like you know She might have said this about you or she did that so she's coming in a little mad Then you have her coming in being like I guess I should be mad and then she isn't had to with you And then you're like oh this is a good moment and next thing you know You're like what did you just say to me and next thing you know you're fighting and you're like I don't even like fighting right? Like how did we get here, but think about it in your everyday life,

I don't know about you, but the last two years off reality TV, I can't tell you one like, public fight I've had with a person. But then you should reality show, you don't just turn into a different person. Like it takes days and days and days to get your head in that mindset of like, being scared and pissed off. Right.

And yeah, I can totally understand the psychological warfare of it, because then, because you're like, of course when you're watching this, you're like, you know, like in real house of Beverly Hills, Sutton is not like this woman, this new woman named Ann Marie, who's a nurse of anesthesiologist, because the nurse has said over and over,

I don't believe that Sutton has a small esophagus. I don't believe that's a real medical condition. I think it's because she probably has an eni disorder or we just rather drink her lunch, you know, type of thing. And she says it over and over and over again, and she's getting a lot of hate for it. And, but then of course, you know, Kyle's like, well, you invited her to Barcelona, you know, cause it's her fake trip. Hey guys, you know, who's like, well, you invited her to Barcelona, you know, because it's her fake trip. Hey guys, you know, who'd like to go to Barcelona?

I know somebody who has a beautiful home that we can borrow. You're like, all right. And then, like, do you imagine in real life, like taking your friends on the trip of a lifetime and this chick that you just met has been a complete asshole to you the last four times and you're like, but I guess you're still gonna stay at the mansion.

Like, I mean, of course we just go along with it, but. And also if someone does something annoying, the audience wants someone to put them in their place. So that's where I think villains get created because you think you're putting someone in their place because you think they're looking awful. And that's where they get to have fun with it to be like, or was she just defending this?

Or was she just, or they didn't show anything she said and just, I always say it's like a fight where someone starts putting their phone on you, but like at the end of the fight and they just pull like a crazy thing you said and you're like, okay, that's, I mean, I didn't just start like that. There were things that led up to that.

Well, in this case, she then responded on her page, the Anne-Marie, and she did basically say, this was annoying too. I didn't, it was inauthentic how many times I brought it up, like wink, wink, like she was winking at us to be like, the producers made me do this, and she was a newbie. And so it's like, you wanna be on the show, everyone's watched the show, you wanna,

some people are probably telling her, like everyone's saying it, everyone else said it in confessionals, you should say it too. Also you don't have a storyline and you're not gonna return if you don't speak on this and like she's not gonna care. Like it's honestly,

she probably wants to talk about her eating disorder. Like that's the kind of shit you hear. And you're also, when you have enough people around you being like, yeah, do it. You're like, okay, yes, okay. And next thing you know, you're doing something that doesn't sound like you. But also, you, like as the comics,

like what I love about it is we could go on stage and I could do anything I want and no one could tell me not to. I don't even have a coach, we don't have a director. We just fucking go off. And it's very freeing, and I think it's been therapeutic for me. But in these shows, you can try to just kind of go off script.

You watch the table. Oh, sorry. You can try to go off script, but it just won't be picked up. So when you see a storyline that they like, you kind of have to lean into it. Because this is what we're doing. So either you get an opinion on it, I don't care about your side thing

you're trying to express. Your charity. I don't give a fuck are you charity? Are you trying to start stand up? No one gives a fuck. Are you fell in love with your boyfriend? No one cares about that positivity. Right, nobody, nobody wants to,

no one cares about your experience as a standup The amount of times that stand-ups have tried to like sell that as a show no and nobody because it's a little lonely and depressing Everybody thinks I know I know when you're in it. You're like why are there not cameras here? I find stand-ups are hilarious. I find this so juicy and entertaining. This is so great I find this so juicy and entertaining. This is so great. But even the show on HBO, which was crashing, which I thought was done pretty well about it, even that didn't last after a few seasons.

It's like, I just think there's certain things. You know, it's just so not relatable that we want to public speak. Like we're so mentally ill. I think honestly, it is a very unrelatable profession. And I don't think it's one that people are like, that we want to public speak. Like we're so mentally ill. I think honestly it is a very unrelatable profession. And I don't think it's one that people are like overly intrigued by.

Yeah, it's like, oh, you're stressed because you have to talk to a friend of 1,000 people, then don't live a normal life. Yeah, like I just think it's one of those things like it's just not, yeah, I don't think it's something, I think people would rather see a fashion designer fall out or, yeah, I think they've tried it enough that it just doesn't hit.

I mean, even Seinfeld, the show, started out with him, do he stand up in the beginning and then at the end was the conclusion of the standup of like how it got into his act. And then they were like, yeah. We're gonna put a 30 second clip in the beginning and then call it a day. Yeah, and then they just got rid of it at all.

And then he would just reference like, oh, I have a show. And then, but we never saw it anymore. Because I mean, so much of the process too with Stand Up is just us in the shower, like, is that funny? Is that funny? And then trying it on stage. But then in between is like, we're kind of, you know, just people showing up on stage, hoping for the best.

Right, but I always think it's like. I do think a comedy club like A Vanda Pump Rules is like a thing of like the waitresses and the comedy club and how it's run with some comics involved could work. Okay, why I think that would be hard is because the other thing that still a huge amount of the humans on earth don't realize is that we do jokes for the same joke for years.

And we perfect it and we say it again. And you're basically, if you were to do something like that, you're basically, like I always remember that about last comic standing, I thought, oh my God, you know, each round they have to come up with a whole new thing that we haven't seen earlier. Like how many hours do you really have that you can pull and make and then you're burning it

and everything. And so it's like, yeah, I think that would be hard because the magic revealed that we practice some of the stuff over and over again. I would know actual standup on it, but more the like the hang in the green room, the drama with the like, I gotta go off stage. Oh, I fucking bomb, some guy like punches the wall.

And then I feel, I just realized that like the waitresses are always hooking up with the comics. And then the girl comics are just like, how y'all doing? Is everyone okay? Yeah. But there is, I mean, restaurant drama and customer service is always wild.

And the comics are just on the side. But I find sometimes comics are a little too self, whether they're either like not self-aware at all or too self-aware. And both of those things could make horrible or great TV. Yeah, and I think it's just so hard and it's so critical. It's also such a subjective thing of someone finding somebody funny or not.

So now you're a reality, you're trying to get people to like you as a reality star being yourself. And then also my stand up and my jokes and my, yeah, that it is not good as a reality show. It's too hard. I definitely am grateful for like moving on from the reality TV phase

because people aren't watching you to laugh, people are watching you to, you know, feel better about themselves and to like pick sides and that wasn't the place I wanted to be. The other thing is, I think comics always think, oh, don't you wanna know how this was made? How this joke came about? And everyone's like, you're a nerd.

We don't. They really don't, they really don't. They're like, no, just make me laugh. I don't want to really. The Somenage like, no, just make me laugh. I don't want to really. The Somenage is like, it came to me in a dream. My whole hour. But I think people are like, you know, everyone thinks that they could be like, have their own documentary.

Like, I feel like every star, you know, no matter how young or inexperienced they are, they're like, hi. Are we doing this? The slow sit down. Yeah, the slow sit down, the coming in and slowing down. Yeah, I'm kind of nervous. We're talking about this now. Yeah, and then also it's just like always like,

trying to show like, hey, you know, like with the sound and taking the notes, like, oh, look at the artist at work. Yeah, so I'm like, I just don't think, I don't think a regular person cares and we're taking the notes. Like, oh, look at the artist at work. Yeah. So I'm like, I just don't think, I don't think a regular person cares to know how the art was made. I just don't. People are obsessed with like,

how musicians stuff is made and how, like the Lady Gaga documentary, Taylor Swift documentary, Beyonce documentary, J.Lo documentary, I fucking, Selena Gomez documentary, I'm obsessed with all of them. I love seeing how people like evolve. Right, like it's totally different to like. But that's cool. Right, because there's celebrities, I'm obsessed with all of them. I love seeing how people like evolve. But that's cool. Right, because there's celebrities,

I'm sorry, there's celebrities, and they're like wearing crazy outfits and they're like training like, and one and two and three and four. There's paparazzi. Okay, like this isn't different between like the singing documentary, okay, like. And then I ran and then I ran.

And then we're gonna do it again. And then I ran to you. Ooh, yeah, I like that. Ooh, that's good. I like that, I ran to you. And then we're gonna do the refray then I ran to you. Yeah, I like that Oh, that's good. I ran to you and then we're gonna do the reframe What a genius yeah, okay Cut cut you Cut the comedian documentary Dexter, okay, so then I So then I'm gonna say fuck it and then I

Okay, so then I'm gonna say, fuck it, and then I farted. Yeah, fuck it, then I farted. And then I got, and then, okay, you have my set list, and it's fart, use the mic as a dick, go over the stool and act like I'm fucking it. Talk to couple in front. Wait, did she just talk to the couple in front? Motherfuck, what do I have to tell you? I don't want my opener talking to the audience. That's me

She asked him what he does for a living god fuck Also, Colin Quinn said something so genius He was like people love musicians because no matter how bad a musician is you're like I can't play music We're you with comedy. They're like I I can't play music. Where you say with comedy, they're like, I could do that on stage if you suck. That is so true. It blew my mind, which is why there's so much pressure, because if I'm not funny, anyone could have done what I just did.

Well, it's also why I think people have like, you know, why with podcasting, some people are like they love you, but then they're also just like, they can turn on you on a dime because they're like, well, I could have been a mom talking about housewives. Why does Heather MacDonald get to do what she does? They don't know like, you know, why, how long it's taken and why I can do this for a thousand episodes or you can do it.

Like, it's fine, but like you get that. And then I also heard something really interesting about like haters and trolls and social media people, especially when it comes to reality stars and any star for that matter. The reason that they're so quick to like cancel someone is because they, maybe this was my guess the last week. I don't know where I came from. So I'm not coming up with it, but it made sense. And, but they are like, well, you know, the only reason you're walking on this earth, spending your money is because I listened to your podcast or I went to your show or I went to your movie or whatever.

And therefore, if I don't like you anymore, if I don't like what you said, I pay your bills. So I get to speak and have an opinion versus someone else that's just like a CEO of a company or something. That's so funny, because that's like when your parents are like, I put you into this world, I'll take you right out.

Like that's exactly how the trolls are. Put you right back in my pussy. I just saw, such an interesting TikTok with somebody was bringing up the fact like, people that were parented like that, like people that were just like, you know, when you're like 12 and they're like, hey, I put food on this table for you.

Like, you know, you don't pay rent. And it's like, was I supposed to pay rent? Like I'm 12. I didn't want to be born. Yeah, I didn't consent to this. Like, and it's like that kind of weird parenting that like makes a certain generation or a certain kind of person,

which is not at all the way I parent. The only thing I sometimes say to my kids is when they're like so righteous about like, no, that's not right. I go, hey, guess what? I've been here a little longer and I find myself like arguing real facts of like, no, you're wrong about that.

I know this for a fact. I know you heard your friend Jeremy say it. I actually lived through that part of history. You're like, it's actually based on a documentary of real life. I didn't spoil it for you. Speaking of documentaries. But when, this is not a funny joke, but whatever.

My son literally said, you know, in the horrible Idaho murder tragedy, he goes, so that's the guy. And I go, well, yeah, that's who's been arrested. Looks like they've got the person, you know. And he goes, God, I just wish they could have like kept that secret until after the Netflix doc. And he wasn't even trying to be funny.

I go, what? He goes, he goes, I like a Netflix talk better when I don't know. It's bad. And I'm like, welcome to my world. There isn't one documentary like that American Nightmare. Oh, so good. You knew. I knew everything about it.

You knew. I knew when it was happening in real time. I knew I'd seen the 2020, the da, da, da. But one thing about that American Nightmare. So good. Everyone has to watch it. But wait, there's something I want to talk about because I did a juicy crime on Patreon about it.

But there's this other part of it that people are now discussing. And this is about this couple who got, they got accused of fake kidnapping. She was kidnapped at the middle of the night and they were accused of it. Do you think there could be some connection between the FBI guy and the fact that they originally

thought it was his ex-girlfriend that was gonna be kidnapped? The one thing about the doc is that they did not delve into the ex-girlfriend enough and I thought that maybe she was like, I don't wanna be filmed. Cause there's, I want so much more information about the ex-girlfriend. There's a theory going around on the internet

with that case. Okay. That what if the police or the FBI guy was in love with the ex-girlfriend and set up this kidnapping so that he could be the hero and rescuer? Yeah, because it always seemed like there was another guy involved.

Yeah. And that FBI guy clearly did not want. But I don't think it's true because I don't think the actual criminal that they caught would have folded and done the plea deal so quickly if there was someone else involved. So I don't think that's true. Long story short, I highly recommend the documentary.

That is a good one. This is Southern Charm. I haven't really talked about it, but I do think that there's something so interesting about the two girls in red, Taylor and Olivia's friendship. Are you familiar with this? So I know it just from Paige while she was filming the show, literally texting me whenever a tea would happen

and I'm like, this season sounds fucking insane. Yeah, I am gonna go back and now watch the whole thing because the conclusion is that these two girls that got on the show because one was dating Austin and one was dating Shep. And then the one that was dating Shep, they broke up and then she secretly dated Austin. And then the two girls tried to keep their friendship going

but it didn't last. And then at the reunion, Taylor reveals that Olivia boned one of the former cast members, who's like 30 years older than her, back when she was like 20 on a drunken night in college. And what is crazy about that, that moment moment is even if you break up with your best girlfriend. That's some breaking girl code. It's like, and I think that was the consensus, like it's fine. Friendships aren't forever. Some are for a reason, a season and a lifetime. And sometimes you break up like you would a boyfriend. But between girls, if there was some secret, you got to still keep that secret. And not, if there was some secret,

you gotta still keep that secret. And not only did she reveal the secret, but she revealed it on the reunion. And I thought, that's why I do like to watch reality shows or even in like, I didn't watch this whole season. I just thought that was like, bitch, like, no. Like, we're no longer friends, but there's gotta be something. We don't need to meet and have a real divorce.

Like there almost has to be, maybe that's, you know what, I thought of another great show. You got a sign, yeah. Friendship divorce. What's friendship divorce lawyer? Friendship divorce lawyer, like you've been friends for a long time. You have a lot of dirt on each other.

You have a lot of dirt on each other. How are we splitting this up? How are you handling the girls weekend? That happens every fall. Yes. Are you going to go? Can you do it? No, I'm not going to go for the whole thing,

but I would like to go for the Sunday brunch. Or I won't go, but you have to let me tell her ex that she cheated on him. Right, yes. And then it's like, OK, well, or just like splitting up like a children or a pet, you're like, I'm gonna let her have Jennifer in the divorce. I was never really into her. Friendship breakups.

Go ahead, talk shit about for the rest of your life. And then, but here's a French, remember when Real House of Atlanta, when Nene or, no, Cynthia tried to get Nini or, one of them tried to get the other one to sign like a friendship agreement. It's like an NDA, but like a little different. And I think with everybody having a podcast and a Patreon

and talking shit about each other, I don't think it's a terrible idea. Well, now you see what happened with like Scandival. All of them were able to market their own tea from that. Right. And make money, no one was protecting people. They were like, I'm gonna make money on my pod. Which they should.

Yeah. But I also think there's something interesting in like, hey, like I wanna invite you over to my barbecue. But you have a Patreon and I have a Patreon and I need just to know that like, you're not gonna say anything positive or negative. you have a patron and I have a patron and I need just to know that like, you're not gonna say anything positive or negative. Like, I think you've gotta start to say it now. Well, that's why reality TV friendships are crazy

and hard to sustain because if anyone turns on you, like they can ruin your life. And then once they do that, you're like, we're not coming back from this. And I feel like this situation, I don't know exactly what was going on, but I know that Taylor had a tough season and she definitely was getting a lot of hate.

So you're like a fighting animal, trying to get people to see you differently. So she was trying to be like, guys, look at the person that I'm fighting with. She's not perfect either. Exactly, exactly. But then it's like, okay, okay, where do we stop? You didn't win that one.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, the throwing around like Chlamydia and like every, cause that's the thing. Everyone is not perfect. Everyone has made mistakes. It's the light they want to shine on it for that season. Like in real half of Salt Lake, Monica in defending herself on the reunion, she goes, they're like,

look at this awful stuff you posted about Heather. And she's like, all I did was repost with a funny little photo of the mean thing that Jen Shaw said about Heather. Because I wanted you all to realize how awful Jen Shaw is. And they're like, yeah, but in repeating that, it was again really hurtful to Heather because what she said was an awful thing.

And again, it was like the logic was just off. And again, it was just too much trust. They. And again, it was just too much trust. They were just like, we just don't trust you. So like, where do we go from here? But yeah, it's kind of interesting because these girls, you know, came in and season, whatever they've been on forever. Shep is like 45. But one thing he said that is kind of interesting, Shep, who's literally, he has 44 or 45. And he's like, no, I don't think I ever do want to have kids or get married.

He's like, I just can't see being like, oh, we got a sitter tonight, now we can go out. And I kind of like really appreciated him. Respect the honesty. And I think whoever marries him, he might be that guy that agrees to have a kid, but you gotta know if you marry a chef, you could have an okay marriage,

but you gotta know what that marriage is gonna be. You've gotta know that he might- He's gonna choose the booze over you. Yeah, he's fun. He's a fun guy. Yeah, even if- And he's a great vocabulary. And like, transactional marriages aren't always just about one having more money than the other.

Like you might have to be like, yeah, he's not really gonna be that helpful as a dad until the kid is actually a little older. And I gotta be okay with that. Or he sees a kid. Like don't think you're gonna change him. Or he falls in love with the kid. But you cannot change him.

You can't change him. So you better know that like if he says, yeah, you could have a kid or you could have one. Don't think that you're gonna convince him to have a second. All these things, especially when you're marrying someone over 35, 40, I think you gotta know that and hope. And just hope that we're on the same page.

But I like that he was honest about it. Cause he's just like, no, I don't really, I'm not into it. But yeah. He can find a girl who doesn't want kids to, or I always say two people find people who have compatible demons. Like find a girl who, he's just like her dad. And she's like, I fucking love this.

And he reminds her of something else, so everyone's happy. It's get the right triggers. Exactly. Everyone has this function, you just gotta choose which one is right. So if you have a girl, I'll say that they broke up because she didn't want to have kids and he did.

What if Shep got with Sophia Vergara? And then he just becomes young hot step grandpa, cause she's got like a 35 year old son who could have a kid birthday. The hard part is over. And then he just skips it. He's just young step grandpa. Wow. Cause a lot of women skip the whole having a baby He's just young step-grandpa.

Wow. Because a lot of women skip the whole having a baby and then their young hot step-grandma. And they're called like Leigh Lee or something, you know? So if you ever go and move to Charleston. Yeah. Okay, did you hear about this baby clothing company blasted for firing an employee who asked to work remotely

when her newborn was hospitalized? No, I didn't see that. So there's this big company and this woman created it because she had a daughter who had like eczema or something. She created this great baby company that everyone loves and this girl was working for her and she adopted a child and unfortunately when the child was born prematurely the child's in NICU but she is the parent. She didn't care the child, she is parent.

And so in requesting more time off, basically they said no. And the story got out and I mean, you're like you're running a baby company and she was just, you know, like she wasn't giving her the same rights that she would maybe a mother who carried a child that was in NICU or she was like, can I work from home?

And she was like, no. So then she had to go on and apologize. And I actually think she did a pretty good apology. She was just like, I'm 100% wrong. I totally feel terrible. We're looking at all these policies. She didn't completely like throw her staff under the bus. She was like, it was wrong and it's terrible.

Anyway, I thought- So you thought she handed it pretty well. I mean, I think what happened was awful. And I think, but I'm also think it's like, I would also take it as like, hey, this story got out there and providing this little boy is okay. You know, this is something to think about.

You just have to think about all the time what you're doing with employees Which is why I'm terrified to hire Well, because yeah, then I did I there's a lot of my but I would argue does anyone really have to go into the office anyway Nowadays everyone's doing this like virtual job Unless she's like sewing the baby clothes. Well, I'm like, she still wanted to work. Like that's the thing. She still wanted to work, but she's like, my child's in the NICU.

Like I need to be near this hospital. I need to be within, you know, a couple hours so I can hold him and bond with him and all that other stuff. So anyway. Not a good look, but we love an apology. Yeah, we love an apology. Yeah, this other TikTok viral thing.

Oh, I'm caught up on this. I did a lot of research on this too. Let's talk about it. So this girl goes, I want to tell you about my roommate. My roommate was Victoria's Secret Model and she's super popular now and she's super popular on this app. But she would steal, all of her stories were bullshit.

She would steal all of, one day we went through her stuff and we saw that she'd stole a lot of our things. I should come back wearing my shirt and I'd be like, that's my shirt. And she'd be like, no it's that, I got it out of modeling shoot. And she's like, that is my makeup on the collar, you don't wear that shade, like stop lying, it's my clothes.

So they go into her room one day when she's not there and the whole apartment's stunk. And they find their suitcase and they open the suitcase and it's all her old trash and dirty clothes. And it's like old tampons, used tampons. It's toilet paper that she chose not to flush and put in there. So she obviously had some weird gross thing happening

and they asked her to leave. And then in the comments, there's people guessing who it was. So then of course I went to that girl's page And then in the comments, there's people guessing who it was. So then of course I went to that girl's page. And I was like watching her and I'm just like, well, like I'm just like, you're a little stinky bird. If this is true.

This is some crazy stuff. Whenever something blows up, I look at the other videos and this girl does post videos that are always like trying to get some kind of attention. Like the one that she feels suspect, the one who told? The one who told. Like all of her stuff is her opinions on stuff and hot takes.

It's not like she's a random girl who's like, I have to get this off my chest. So that was, I was a little bit like, okay. And then some people are like, okay, clearly this person has serious mental illness, like trauma type stuff. The one that was carrying her poop around? Yeah, so this is a whole another dimension of stuff

that maybe you don't wanna get into. And then they're accusing everyone of stuff, and the girl's like, I didn't know that this is gonna go viral, and everyone's gonna start putting fingers at people, and she'll be like, it's not Taylor Hill, it's not this, but she's not denying everyone. So people are getting completely harassed

for poop stains. And then the girl who did post the apology, it was a, or not apology, saying it wasn't her, it was a weird video. So I'm fully invested in this, but like I kind of, yeah, she left everyone hanging. I just think like the tell-alls are like getting to be, so I one time put on a wig and did a TikTok where I acted like, I mean,

50% of the people got it and follow me and was like, and I, so I acted like I was a disgruntled waitress that waited on Heather McDonald. I can't do it where I like, I kept pausing, you know, like, like, so I used to be a waitress and I'm gonna tell you about the worst celebrity I ever waited on You have to wait to the end so I get the most possible engagement Yeah, and I was like and it was like this is ridiculous

And then I ended with that she owned that the bill was $57 and she only tipped me a hundred dollars And I was like you put me through hell Because you you know said the butter wasn't soft. And some of the people were like, who are we expecting to do? Like that's more than a hundred percent. And like everyone's like, Jesus, I made it.

I'm like, the people are so, I just once in a while like to do that. And it gets in their algorithm and they're like, who the fuck is this bitch? I'm like, why, how did this show up? I don't understand what this is. I did a recently video making Jacob Elordi's Bathwater. And everyone thought I was seriously like putting milk

in a drink and they were like, Hannah, this is disgusting. You're a horrible bartender. But the cocktail, I saw that. Yeah, I was like, guys, it's a fucking, it's a bit at the end. It's a joke. And I had to come, I'm like, guys, this is a joke. I'm not actually recommending it.

Did you like the movie Saltbird? Okay, I was obsessed with it. I loved it. Did you watch more than once? No, I'm not that messed up. Okay. I like, I mean, I still thought it was a juicy movie to watch. Yeah.

I felt like it could be better. Like, I mean, granted there were three shocking scenes, but I was like, I wanted there to be almost more revealed. Like about the family and stuff. Like I feel like- The spin at the end, I love a spin, but it was quick. It was quick and there wasn't enough of a spin. I'm like, okay.

Not to, I'm not giving away spoilers, but someone said it would have been way more interesting if he wasn't- I already gave away the spoilers weeks ago. Okay, so people are like all this just for real estate, like it would have been way more interesting if like as a kid he started obsessing about these people. Yes, I've got to mistake.

And this was a long lead. Instead it's like, okay, you got a house? Like, really? Like later in life you got a house? Is that all you care about? Or even go even deeper and find out that like, you know, somebody in his life was like used or killed or something by one of them.

Yes, yes, you're right. It could have taken one more level. I like movies that get reactions out of me, but I don't like Gory and I don't like Scary. And it was a little gory. I like Weird. Yeah, I like Weird. So the fact that I was making like lemon faces,

I thought it was entertaining. Yeah, I liked like psychological thrillers. Yeah. This girl is a bridesmaid for hire. I saw that. She makes up to, well, I really read the whole article and I went deep and I'm like, I don't. Oh, you went hard. I don't really think this is that great of a business.

Well, she has a lot of, now she has got people that say, I'll do it too. And when I really think about how. This is just franchising it. She's franchising it, which isn't a bad idea. And I, you know, I get why maybe somebody would just be like, I just feel like if you don't really have a good friend to do it, why are you even having bridesmaids?

It's not, I mean, listen, I didn't really have bridesmaids. I do sure have regretted it, but I'm still friends with those girls. Like it's like, and one of the reasons I didn't do the bridesmaids is because of like drama with my sister and all that. That's exactly what I did. And I just chose not to do it.

I never had any official bridesmaids, but we had a bachelorette. They all knew who they were when we were at my wedding. Well, we had a bachelorette too. I'm like, I'm like, I wasn't like, you are summoned and you are not. Like if you want to come get ready before the wedding, come through. My friends know where it is, my close friends.

I didn't want any of the drama of the picking. I always feel like it's like you're just in, and then she has to go and like work out a backstory, which is basically there was a movie, I think, where Kevin Hart or somebody was the best man. But you have to work out like a backstory, which is basically there was a movie, I think, where Kevin Hart or somebody was the best man, but you have to work out a backstory. So she's like, so if she went to, you know, did a semester at sea, I'll be that friend from semester at sea that kept in touch with her all these years that none of the other friends knew. And she was sometimes they have friends, but she just

wants a girl that like has her shit together to like crack the whip with the other people. Someone who's not black out. But this is the thing, now that she's getting attention, now if anyone sees her at a wedding, they're gonna think she's hired. And I also like looked at her and I was like, also I felt like she's cute,

but she's getting a little up there for the wedding age. You're talking about ageism and you're like, look, she looks older than Kylie Jenner. No, but I'm gonna say like, you know, you're not gonna be a bridesmaid when you're like 45 for a 30 year old. She'd be a maid of a mom for the bride if the mom passed away.

Well, I mean, it's just, it's fucked up. I just can't imagine when you're spending so much on a wedding from the dress to the food to the flowers to the venue that you're gonna spend another, know $10,000 or whatever eight to half she said her lowest package is 2,500 that's where she just gets the dress I don't want a stranger in my wedding and like but if you need to go to the bachelorette and hang out all weekend and I'm like for all of that like you

could hire like a real singer or an actor to entertain the crowd. Oh yeah. She's a stranger and it's like, what are you gonna talk about? You can have a hamburger. Open up for your wedding. Dating's crazy, right? Ha ha ha.

And then they're like, oh, they'll help you do the speech? I'm like, the speech, AI can do the each real. Also, if you have a wedding planner, it could help with a lot of this stuff. Also, I know, none of these things, no one remembers your speech, no one cares what you have a wedding planner, it could help with a lot of this stuff. Also, I know none of these things, no one remembers your speech, no one cares what you're doing your bachelorette, just calm the fuck down.

And do you, I'll say it right now. And I think I've said it on the show before. I rented my wedding dress. Good for you. And I did keep it a secret from friends for a very long time. And I think eventually, I did keep it a secret from friends for a very long time. And I think eventually, like 10 years, 50 years later, I came clean.

But do you imagine if your other friends found out that like, what? It's creepy. Like Hannah, do you know what I'm talking about? Heather, like that girl is not. She was rented. That girl is not from semester at sea. Yeah, because what just happens if she runs into people?

How many lies did she have to keep up with? I mean, you saw what happened when Heather Gaifig figured out that Monica was in- Receipts! Yeah, roof of screen shots, everything! Like that's, so I feel the same way. Like I feel like if you're gonna involve other people in your wedding and any, just be transparent.

If you rent your dress, just fucking say it, don't even try to lie. I shouldn't have lied about renting the dress. And then I thought about it, and for the cost, I'm like, I was a thin girl. Like I could have gotten a sample. I could have gotten any, you know. And so many dresses don't need to be expensive.

I got my dress at a strip mall in Long Island. I like went to just try on shapes at like a random strip mall at this like little local shop. And the first dress dress I was like, I think I was stressed about shopping and I go, you know what, the first dress I tried on, I go, I like it, $1,700, done, never worried. And I live in New York City, I could have gone

to Climfals, I could have done that. I know, but then. I literally just, I wanted it off my chest and I really liked the dress. Okay, so I had interested, I had given my sister the idea to like the dress. Okay, so I had interest in this. I had given my sister the idea to rent her dress. And then I went back to rent my dress at the same place. And I only tried on a few dresses that day

and chose it that day because again, I was like, I'm not gonna be that girl that quits my job to plan a wedding. But then I sort of regretted not milking out the process a little bit. You know what I mean? Because that could have been kind of really fun to try on a bunch of dresses and or act like you wanted a venue

but then you really didn't get like a free meal. Have a freak out in a public place and be like, it's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of money and pressure. I think I do all the time though. These are things you need to milk out. Yeah. Wedding, shopping.

The venue thing where you get like some free meals. Cake tastings at Bakery's. And then also once you get pregnant, even if you have an easy pregnancy, you cannot let- Don't lift the finger. Don't let your husband know you're having an easy pregnancy. That's a huge mistake I did. Making me carry you around. Just like, even if you've had the easiest pregnancy ever,

just be like, ah! Just pretend you puked every time you leave the bathroom. Yeah, just be like, I'm like, like I was braggie about how easy it was. You was like, pick that up yourself. Yeah, he was like, what do you mean? He's like, you're not going to the gym today? Blazy.

So those are the mistakes I made. Another mistake is Jeannie Mai. Jeannie Mai? From, well, she was most famous for the reel, but she married this guy and she does not want the prenup to go through. She said she did not read it thoroughly. They're getting divorced.

And I guess he has more money than she. And that's not gonna work. I didn't know, you could say, wait, I didn't read the whole thing, I just, like, spark note. You read it in every contract, you're just like, wait a minute. I didn't see that part. I didn't read it.

I didn't read it. I can't read. Now, Jillian Michaels is predicting a massive fallout, meaning your bowels, from Ozepic. Your insides. Well yeah, you're skinny because you have nothing inside you. And then Terry Dubrow said he did go on it to lose his, he lost 10 to 15 pounds.

But he said he went off of it before the holidays because he missed being excited about eating, which I've heard a lot about too, where you're just like, oh my God, like I want to be hungry again, I want to be excited. He had a little nausea, was a little nauseous, he didn't really drink on it. And then he also said, you got to be careful

if you go on it, that you, because you aren't going to be very hungry when you do eat, even though you could just like get a super yummy pasta because you're only going to have like two you do eat, even though you could just get a super yummy pasta because you're only gonna have two bites of it, you'll be fine, you really should have solid protein. And only eat a thing of salmon, a chicken breast, have that because otherwise you're gonna lose the muscle. And the elasticity and all that stuff in your face,

that's the way you go. But he said it's a miracle, John. And you know, get used to it, people. They're skinny. Have you tried it? No. Do you want to? I'm scared that I'll be weak.

Because I have a phobia of being hungry. I always have a snack with me. And I'm afraid that if I'm like just like have nothing in me My body will be like a faint and stuff Yeah, like cuz our job requires so much energy that I just get scared. I don't have energy I have heard that the energy goes a lot down and like all I need is energy when you go on stage So and I know what I feel like without energy and I get scared also. I do get scared that like I Don't know if I forgive myself if like I I get scared. Also, I do get scared that like, I don't know if I'd forgive myself

if like I get cancer or something from a zump and it's like, oh, you did that for 10 pounds? Yeah. Like 10 pounds, you got cancer, was that worth it? A lot of people might go, it was. Yeah, I'm not like that one, for that one year and 2023. I have a fat ass and honestly I like it. Like I like my curves.

No, I think it can really work for people. It's great. I just think you gotta have an end game. I think some people that are gonna go on it forever. It's fine and you might be fine for the rest of your life and you can afford to be on it for the rest of your life. But you know, I think you're having health problems right now

because of your weight. Then I think the risk is worth it. Let's fucking go and jack me up. Yeah, yeah. 50 Cent came 25 Cent. Oh, so he went on a Zempish. Yeah, he lost a lot of weight. Okay, Sid.

Anybody that loses a lot of weight within like six months. And you haven't seen workout photos, not one. Do you know about Ballerina Farm? This is another internet thing. She has like seven million followers, and she has eight kids, and she's Mrs. America, and she like makes her own bread, and lives on this farm, and everybody's like obsessed

with her, and they love her and everything, but then people started to turn on her because they found out that her husband His dad owns jet blue And they're like why are you making your own bread, bitch? Like, everyone's like, if you care about the environment that much, your dad is literally the head of like fossil fuel. Like worse than Taylor Swift is your dad in the environment.

And then other people are like, why, you know, what does it matter let her live her life and you know, let her be a pageant girl. If that's how she wants to use her body and her beauty. And like, she was one of those girls, she had her eighth baby and like gotten her gown and had like a pageant the following week. And everyone's like, that's not good for your body.

And then other people are like, well, what if you had a wedding to go to, you know, and you were hired to be a bride's baby and you just had a baby, you'd have to put on a dress and work too. I do think I support all women in the arts, but there's something hypocritical about being like about the earth and nature,

but I will film all of it to post online and hope I get likes. So it's a catch point too. No, I was watching this other guy that's like a day in the life of a single dad, and it was like how like how much he does and the kid would he had to wake up the kid had to wake up And I've seen those other videos where people are mocking like the way the parents like Oh, I have to get up in the middle of the night with my baby and they're like how about having the fucking ring light on your kid at 3 a.m.

To like show the world this is what it's like. Yeah, we know what it's like. People have been having kids and raising kids. Guess what? If you have kids, you're probably not gonna sleep through the night solidly. You're really tired, you don't have time to vlog it. Yeah. I know, it's like, here's a day of the life

of being a mom of five. Also, you took five hours to edit that. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. If you're really that busy. That takes effort. Also, you're like, hey, shut up, I have to film. Like, no, I don't like that at all. Or at least own it, be like, look, I'm bored

and I wanna create some content and I don't wanna work. Do you remember that classic got you moment when there was a mom and she was filming her son and her together and she posted it without realizing that she didn't do the second cut version. She did the original. And so she was like, remember, cry, cry. And the kid's like, and she goes, so today was a really hard day.

We had to put down Muffin our dog. She closed the dog for the content. And she's crying, she's crying more. And he goes, I am mom, I'm actually really sad. I was like, when she was like a huge YouTuber. I need to Google that. Oh my God, it is amazing. It is like social media, child abuse to the umptagree.

I want a reality show of mommy vloggers cause I want to see what the life is actually like behind the vlog. I want to see like the kids, they all have to do brand deals. These kids are working. Oh yeah. They are tired. I always, I talk about it a lot.

How I think it's so wrong and it's not right. These moms are gonna get sued in the future for sure by the kids. Oh, 100%. Or at least I hope it's going to college fund. There's one state that has cracked down. I think it's Indiana or Illinois. Yeah.

That said, you know, you gotta like, just like if you're gonna take, you know, your kids check from working on a sitcom, you can only take 10%. Like, you can't be having all the money when you're getting a $30,000 deal for dishwashing soap and you're showing your kids in the dishwashing soap. Yeah, also they're not fully consenting to be on camera. Right, you can't be fully consenting.

It's like a very wishy-washy, you know, it's a lot less. And again, if you're kids are cute, you want to show it, and the people are giving you money, and actually, you know, honestly, the world is burning. How did we get here? Yeah, I mean, it's true. And then the kids are just like, or maybe they won't, maybe they're into doing it at a certain age,

and then they're not at another because kids change. Kids want to sometimes quit gymnastics at 12, but they were super into it at eight. So it's like, and then you're like, and then they would say to the kids, they'd say, well, if you don't do this, we're going to have to switch schools. And your little sister is not going to be able to take ballet lessons and we're going to lose the house. There's this one girl, I guess that has shared her story.

She's not 18 yet, but she's like anonymous and she's like gonna get away from her parents when she's 18 because that's the kind of pressure that they've put on her. But I don't know that, but these kids are featured, they seem to like to make the bread. And she seems to be happy. And then this was just kind of funny,

I just caught this the other day. This is Halaria. And you know, this guy that posts it is a paparazzi or whatever, and she's just walking on the phone and she just ignores him and she's like, oh, I love that. So that is wonderful. I love that for you.

And she's still doing her accent. And she's still going strong. Yeah, she didn't really give it up. And I feel like all of a sudden people just were like, I do think that was one of the greatest, greater moments is discovering that she was not from Spain and all the podcast episodes. But she identifies.

I'm from Spain. So my family's from Spain. How do you say? And then when he was like, well, you know, and he was getting great little, you know, late night banter doing his wife's impression. I'm like, she was doing Sophia Vergara. She saw it.

She saw how sexy she was doing Sephora, Sophia Vergara in Modern Family. She did one study abroad in Barcelona and that was her whole personality. And I was like, And then everyone's like, wouldn't Alec Baldwin know that she went to high school in Boston? I'm like, do you think that old fuck even asked her?

You didn't even talk. Tell everybody what you've got going on. You're taking over the internet. You're great with the crowd work. Amon, I'm on the internet. You're real hot stand up. I'm trying my best out here. You're a married woman.

You're still married, right? Yeah. I'm just kidding. Married woman to a nice silver fox. And what, you guys, you have a podcast with your husband. Yes, Burner Phone. Then a podcast with my bestie, Pages of Sorebro, Giggly Squad. Shout out.

So two different vibes. Huge show. Whatever you're into. Yes. And yeah, I have a bunch of shows coming up. Where's your next show? I'm going to Reno actually. Oh great.

So at a casino, so it's gonna get crazy on Friday. And then a lot of random places, hannabar.com, so shows. Yeah. Go see it. We've hung out in real life. We're besties. I've seen your stand up.

Very fun, very fun crowd. Thank you. That you bring and I'm really just happy to call you a sister in comedy. You fucking nerd. Just a moment in the arts. No, I love coming on this pod and being able to talk shit with you and congrats on everything you created because you're the shit.

And then I really want Paige to come on and then we're just gonna talk about you. Oh my God, Paige would love to come on. Will she talk shit about you? Yeah, oh yeah. That's what I really want. Oh yeah, that's bonding. That's true.

She'll make fun of me the entire time. The entire time and then I'll come back for revenge and then we'll have like a whole war. Yeah, I love it. Just go back and forth. Podcast war whole war. Yeah, I love it. Just go back and forth. It's podcast war. Yeah, yeah. I love it.

Thank you, bye.